NationStates

The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well-being of environments throughout NationStates,

Amazed that though they lost their original founder early in their existence, they persevered under the leadership of Ransium, and have been a bastion of democracy for others,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, through their newsletter entitled the "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Applauding Forest’s dedication to their allies, such as Philosophy 115, Hippy Haven, and Yggdrasil, further strengthening their friendship through international photo contests,

Further Acknowledging that Forest does not simply promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly and beautiful nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae and Mozworld, and recognizes nations for their achievements in Eco-Friendly categories in the list of “Exceptionally Green Nations in Forest,”

Noting that Forest is home to numerous nations that have contributed to NationStates in many ways, such as Mount Seymour, who has brought light to a previously unknown issue focusing on the environment called, “A Clear-cut Conundrum”,

Recognizing that not only does Forest soar above the rest for showing to nations of the world issues regarding the environment, but also has had their impact on the World Assembly, with notable authors such as Caracasus, who wrote a resolution promoting research of unique ecosystems,

Further Noting that the residents of Forest help, inspire, and critique one another in their authorship, bringing forth a creative and intelligent environment for progress,

Further Impressed by the level of achievement in sports Forest, and more specifically the nations of Errinundera and Zwangzug have achieved over time,

Seeing that Forest is one of the most mature and intellectual communities in the world, with consistent openness, debate, and democracy,

Believing that Forest deserves to be recognized for their devotion to protecting the environment and saving the lush ecosystems of the world,

Hereby commends Forest

Proposal Link: https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1491581162

Edit 1: Removed Commas, reworded first and second clause
Edit 2: Added examples
Edit 3: Added Eco friendly tag
Edit 4: Removed Eco tag reference
Edit 5: Removed Noting clause and added new clauses
Edit 6: Quite a few revisions
Edit 7: Added Mozworld, added more to the Believing clause, and corrected spelling of "Dilemma".
Edit 8: Corrected order of noting clauses and added clause for the creative environment in Forest.
Edit 9: Added info about their early history and friendships with other regions.
Edit 10: Minor grammar edits.
Edit 11: Fixed spelling of Hippy Haven
Edit: 12 Simplified the Noting clause
Edit 13: Removed possible rule 4 violation in issues clause.
Edit 14: Made various edits throughout the proposal.
Edit 15: Added and revised a few clauses.
Edit 16: Fixed a few grammatical problems

Ambassador Mike Lynn walks in,

"There seems to be a lot of commons where there should not be. Have your office go through it a couple of times and make sure you get them all. It will help your case. I went through and had my office make a couple of edits to your draft. I hope they help; however, your office is free to do what you want with them, Ambassador."

Further Noting that Forest is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories through their newsletter, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Recognizing that even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause during these time period,

The rouge Christmas state wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's, and their dedication since 2005 toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Did some word rearranging.

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 of bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories through their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Could you name a few of the specific environmental issues they have covered?

Noting that this is not in least part due to the photo contests held within the region to promote closer connection with the environment,

I fail to see how taking pictures of trees helps preserve them. That's just my opinion.

Further Acknowledging that Forest, doesn't just promote Eco- friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates,

Unnecessary comma. Should be "eco-friendliness" (no need to capitalize, or put a space after the dash). Also, can you name a few specific examples?

Further Noting that, Forest, is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Two unnecessary commas. Also, I'll be honest: in 3.5 years of playing NS I have never heard of Forest.

Recognizing even through a series of invasions from raiders in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause during this time period,

This sentence has two prepositional clauses that essentially say the same thing.

Believing that commendations are to be reserved for outstanding achievements and setting examples of what others should strive to achieve,

This clause isn't 100% necessary.

Amazed by the consistent ability of Forest members to meet this mark,

Hereby Commends Forest

Co-Authored by United Massachusetts

Overall I think that the target region's actions are commendable, but not Commendable.

First of all thanks for the help from both of you, we've modified the proposal as suggested. The new secretary is still learning how to write a good proposal.

The rouge Christmas state wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, including updates on the pollution in the South Kolaxa Sea being documented in their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Noting that this is not in least part due to the photo contests held within the region to promote closer connection with the environment,

Further Acknowledging that Forest doesn't just promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae, being the most eco-friendly nation in the world,

Further Noting that Forest is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Recognizing even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause,

Amazed by the consistent ability of Forest members to meet this mark,

Hereby Commends Forest

Co-Authored by United Massachusetts

I think this is a very good idea.

There's not really a lot to go on in this proposal. More details needed as far as I'm concerned.

Have to agree with NSA; the region may be doing commendable things, but they are not worthy of a Commend based on what's written here.

Get some more detail in this and you may have my support.

The noting part is just un nessicary, i know your trying to be funny and make a joke, but it is just pointless and a waste of space.
This is a draft to an international organization, not a post on some website.

Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.

The rouge Christmas state wrote:Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.

Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:

The rouge Christmas state wrote:Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.

Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.

"You should be able to word it the right way to get around the R4 violation, though."

Adytus wrote:

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.

"You should be able to word it the right way to get around the R4 violation, though."

Oops, my bad it has been fixed.

I think I'll blow the dust off of this proposal and see what you guys think of some of the edits I've made.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, including updates on the pollution in the South Kolaxa Sea being documented in through their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

I'd lose the Kolaxa Sea stuff. Everyone will do what I did and ask "what?"

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Further Acknowledging that Forest doesn't just promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae,

Ok.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Further Noting that Forest has numerous nations that are issue contributors including Ransium and Candlewhisper archive, along with these nations the Forest is also home to nations who are World Assembly authors including Caracasus and Mount Seymour,

Lots of regions have WA authors etc. residing in them - not really a commendable quality. And I thought you were commending them for their environmentalism. Sort of suggests that there's not really enough there.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Recognizing even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they persevered returning the region to a stronger state than before,

Amazed by the impact that Forest has had, even if not recognized all of the time,

Believing that Forest should get the recognition they deserve,

Hereby Commends Forest

Nothing illegal that I can see, but as I said when you first published this there's not a lot of detail or commendable material.

@OP
Here's some additional material if you're looking for something else to include: Forest had sent volunteers to help cure Yggdrasil nations during the annual zombie event for the last several years in a row. They've been very helpful to friends in need.

Here's a factbook entailing all of Forest's history. You may have already used it, but it's quite interesting!

https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=485765

I appreciate the advice and information, I've made a few edits and wanted to get some feedback on them and to see if their legal. I'll continue to add more and fix things.

I have a puppet residing in Forest, though I am very inactive there and rarely post anything on the RMB. One thing that I would mention in this proposal is Forest's map. It is such a great and unique idea, quite different from many other regional maps. Also, their Exceptionally Green Nations in Forest is another aspect of the region worth mentioning in this proposal. And their RMB, last time I checked, is active and usually filled with meaningful discussion about both NS and RL topics.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:I appreciate the advice and information, I've made a few edits and wanted to get some feedback on them and to see if their legal. I'll continue to add more and fix things.

Edit 6 is a lot better - you're giving a consistent message about the thing that matters most to the region.

There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.

Aclion wrote:There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.

The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:

Aclion wrote:There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.

The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.

Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?

Aclion wrote:

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.

Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?

From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:

Aclion wrote:Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?

From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.

Maybe the text should be clearer on that then. I was left with the impression they were being commended for simply having many nations that write issues related to the environment.

Aclion wrote:

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.

Maybe the text should be clearer on that then. I was left with the impression they were being commended for simply having many nations that write issues related to the environment.

I've added a new clause to address just that.