Wallenburgian Cabinet of War
Message from Representative Mikael Ogenbond
In my opinion on the resolution "Liberate Alliance Against Nazis", I explicitly stated that I considered the government of Caelapes, recently awarded the title of Secretary-General to the World Assembly in an illegal and unforgivably ridiculous election, corrupt, contrary to the spirit of the World Assembly, and generally deserving of nothing less but the coldest of diplomatic relations. However, this attempt by Ambassador Thomas Branson III to manipulate the Security Council for his own personal political agenda is even more egregious. Caelapes may not be the greatest of member nations, but this attempt to condemn its government and its people based on ideology alone flies in the face of everything the World Assembly holds dear.
This condemnation wildly misrepresents the nature of the election of the Secretary-General. Using the technicalities of the election process, it claims that a majority voted against Caelapes. This is not true. A majority voted for four candidates other than Caelapes. In an election with several candidates, voting for one candidate does not represent a vote against all others. Furthermore, the election adopted the common standard of a plurality vote in deciding its winner. In an election with five candidates, the likelihood of any one candidate securing a basic majority over all other candidates is very remote. Therefore, Caelapes's victory by plurality vote stands as far more legitimate than this resolution suggests. Of course, I hesitate to refer to any aspect of this election as legitimate, but in briefly ignoring the illegal nature of the election of a Secretary-General, I can confidently say that Caelapes's victory is not in of itself condemnable.
The resolution then claims that Caelapes "intends to force Communism" on the World Assembly and its member states. After researching the details of "Communism" and the campaign promises of the Caelapitan government, I have confirmed that it intends to do nothing even remotely similar to "forcing Communism" on the World Assembly. While Caelapes ran its campaign on the promise of bringing "fullcommunism" to the Multiverse, it never expressed any interest in mandating that the World Assembly or any of its member states adopt this ideology. Rather, it promised to eliminate the powers of both the Secretariat and Secretary-General, eliminate inequality of political franchise between member states, and essentially tear down the power of the Assembly leadership and administration in favor of a purely democratic World Assembly. As dangerous as these ideas may be, they hardly approach the claims Ambassador Branson has made. In addition, I find the idea that either Caelapes's campaign promises or the tenets of "Communism" inherently threaten democratic ideals laughable. Clearly the Ambassador has dedicated more attention to fearmongering and appeals to emotion than to even attempting factual argument.
Lastly, the resolution strongly indicates that the "democratic process" has failed the World Assembly in its election of Caelapes to the position of Secretary-General. While I agree that it is a great shame that so many nations took part in this illegal election, I see no way in how Caelapes's victory represents a failure of the democratic process. Instead, the third clause of this resolution only reinforces my suspicion that Ambassador Branson seeks to condemn Caelapes based on ideological differences, and because Caelapes--rather than Branson's preferred candidate--won. That the Ambassador has invested so much time in soliciting votes for this vendetta further demonstrates his obvious deficit in political sportsmanship.
Every argument in this resolution fails miserably, but Ambassador Branson further humiliates himself in allowing no fewer than seven grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors to plague his condemnation. Considering the brevity of this resolution's text, it surprises me that the Ambassador was so lazy that he could not bother himself to briefly glance over his proposal to guarantee that it resembled less a child's complaint about a playground bully and more a piece of international legislation.
Here, I leave the remainder of this delegation's opinion to my predecessor, who I entrust with a more accurate and nuanced recollection of Ambassador Branson's history.Message from Former Representative Helen Trevanyika
When I resigned my office several months ago, I had hoped that the antics of the Bitelian delegation would have come to a much-appreciated conclusion. Unfortunately, my successor has indicated that a Mr. Thomas Branson III has forced yet another appallingly juvenile resolution to the floor of the Security Council. I cannot decide whether to laugh or cry for the World Assembly that this ambassador has taken it upon himself to waste the World Assembly's time with the third of a growing series of uniquely sloppy, petty, and fallacious resolutions.
Ambassador Branson serves as a mouthpiece for the government of Bitely. I had the great misfortune of knowing his father, Thomas Branson II, who was responsible for the abysmal "World Space Administration", which violated not only General Assembly rules but also my eyes before its passage into law. After his death, his government blamed me and labeled me a murderer. Through his son and the puppet government of Tab1of2, it wrote a similarly atrocious resolution to condemn my own government, relying on lies and terrible grammar, just as this condemnation has. After it failed spectacularly at vote, the Bitelians pushed yet another resolution, a condemnation of the World Assembly itself, under the pretense that the Multiverse suffered from oppression under a "World Assembly elite".
What I find particularly interesting about this resolution is Ambassador Branson's decision to publish it before submitting it to the proposal process. While he refused to listen to the advice of his colleagues, he has made one small step in improving his behavior before this Assembly. However, his decision to discuss a condemnation of Caelapes also reveals yet another dishonorable facet to this resolution. Before Caelapes's imminent victory in the election of a Secretary-General became evident, Mr. Branson had proposed a commendation of the election's winner, simply for succeeding in winning the plurality vote. He then pivoted immediately when he realized that Caelapes, who he did not favor as a candidate, was most likely to win. The absolute, undeniable hypocrisy of this change of tone, simply on the basis of who received more votes in the election, reeks of political immaturity and a total lack of honor. It resembles the worst of politics, even eclipsing the bigoted hatred of such candidates as Idi Amin.
Based upon this bill, I can confirm that misinformation, hatred for the drafting process, elementary vocabulary, and gratuitous and incredibly expensive campaigning remain the chief tools of the Bitelian delegation. Its government and its ambassador demonstrate a desperate hunger for international attention, despite a long history of popular refusal to entertain the Bitelian government's political tantrums. Not only does the Wallenburgian delegation vote against this resolution and stress the necessity that others do as well, but it also emphasizes that the World Assembly can only free itself from the antics of Ambassador Branson if it refuses to lend him its attention. Certainly, we may still suffer the occasional proposal from the Bitelian government, but the danger of catalyzing its harmful activity within these halls only increases with equally silly proposals to condemn them for its legislative circuses or to commend the targets of its condemnations. The World Assembly has suffered enough under the weight of poorly-written resolutions. Let us make steps to move in a different, more encouraging direction, rather than stagnating in a sea of mediocre legislation.
