Wallenburg wrote:Alarmed at the assertions that Vandoosa participated in raiding Alternate World History and is its current delegate to the World Assembly, both of which are incorrect,
I believe the right way of writing this should be:
- "Alarmed at its assertion
Wallenburg wrote:Dismissing the claim that the Glorious Nations of Iwaku have fallen apart due to Vandoosa's actions. On the contrary, the region has not fallen at all, and is actually quite healthy;
I believe the right way of writing this should be:
- "Dismissing the claim that the Glorious Nations of Iwaku has
Also, there's inconsistent use of punctuation marks:
- The proposal's third clause ends with a comma (,)
- Fifth clause ends with a period (.)
- All other clauses -- you've used a semi-colon (;)
Might want to consider fixing the above because--- repeals live on forever.
~GRO~