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[Passed]: Commend Improving Wordiness

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Baden-Wuerttemberg
Secretary
 
Posts: 38
Founded: May 21, 2012
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Baden-Wuerttemberg » Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:34 pm

So they do. So hopefully it should be possible here too to alternate the name with the plural ‘they’ in the sense of referring to the fictional people in the fictional nation. (Not in the secondary sense, when speakers of English use ‘they’ in reference to one person without reference to gender.) I’m more pointing out why CnC resolutions which often repeat the nominee nation name are common. Stylistically it sure sounds clunky, but SC prose tends to be like that.
Deutschland. Eine liberale, demokratische,
kosmopolitische und mehrsprachige Region.
Jeder ist willkommen,
Fremdenhass werden wir jedoch nicht tolerieren.
Deutschland. A liberal, democratic,
cosmopolitan and multilingual region.
Everybody is welcome,
although we will not tolerate xenophobia.
Baden-Württemberg & Ba-Wue & Wortschatz
Ambassador from Deutschland to 10000 Islands

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District XIV
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5990
Founded: Dec 01, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby District XIV » Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:37 pm

Baden-Wuerttemberg wrote:So they do. So hopefully it should be possible here too to alternate the name with the plural ‘they’ in the sense of referring to the fictional people in the fictional nation. (Not in the secondary sense, when speakers of English use ‘they’ in reference to one person without reference to gender.) I’m more pointing out why CnC resolutions which often repeat the nominee nation name are common. Stylistically it sure sounds clunky, but SC prose tends to be like that.

Yeah. This is the way I look at it; in real life it (usually) occurs that transgendered people wish to be referred to as 'they', but here 'they' may refer to the population, government, etc of the target nation (as you mentioned).
Last edited by District XIV on Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Solorni
Minister
 
Posts: 2698
Founded: Sep 04, 2007
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Solorni » Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:48 am

TITO ensuring Cain did not claim the delegacy of Osiris is an action to be praised. I'm not the biggest fan of wordy, she doesn't seem to have the best grasp of gameplay as it stands currently but I could support this.
Lovely Queen of Balder
Proud Delegate of WALL

Lucky Number 13

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The Wary Walrus
Attaché
 
Posts: 67
Founded: May 31, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby The Wary Walrus » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:07 pm

Wordy was instrumental in helping refound The Skeleton Army after we were raided following our founder's disappearance. Support!
Walter the Wary Walrus, representing the nation of The Wary Walrus, a proud member of The Skeleton Army.

And his translator, [name withheld due to irrelevance].

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Milograd
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5894
Founded: Feb 10, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Milograd » Thu Aug 28, 2014 9:29 pm

Support.
Retired

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Xoriet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1253
Founded: Jun 08, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Xoriet » Sun Aug 31, 2014 9:25 am

Absolutely yes. :)
Xoriet Ysabel Meow Montresor-Isaraider
Dedicated Citizen of The East Pacific
BGP: The viziers respectfully remind his holy warlodness to shut his peasant mouth and bow to the supreme ocelot or be crushed underfoot.
<Cormac> lol, Xoriet is like a cuddly Emperor Palpatine... :P

<Vortiaganica> we see here the female ocelot establishing her dominance over her mate

Jakker: you underestimate yourself, Xoriet
Jakker: youre more like a plastic bag floating through the wind

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McMasterdonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 762
Founded: Apr 19, 2012
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby McMasterdonia » Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:50 pm

I have made some slight edits to this & tried to remove the name repeats. I'm not fully happy with it yet and I am not sure if I prefer it this way or the other way around. Comments are welcome. It has been suggested that it might flow better if bullet points were used, but I have not tried to work that in quite yet.

Made some minor corrections - changed Liberation to Defence, Delegate - Pharaoh of Osiris, and some other minor changes that escape me right now.
Minister of Cults, the North Pacific
General of The North Pacific Army
Minister for Foreign Affairs (Ret.)
Minister for Education (Ret.)
Security Councillor (Ret.)
Minister for Defence (Ret.)
Minister For Communications (Ret.)
Minister for Welcoming(Ret.)
Former Delegate of The North Pacific x 5
Vice Delegate of the North Pacific (Ret.)

Authored Security Council Resolutions

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Ramaeus
Diplomat
 
Posts: 988
Founded: Dec 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Ramaeus » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:07 pm

Repeating a name isn't a symptom of bad writing considering the constrains we operate under. Also, "veteran" and "kind nature" strike me as somewhat odd. I wouldn't consider them violations of Rule 4, but there is a better way of phrasing your intent. Nitpicking aside, this is a solid draft, one that I would be proud to support. Good luck.
Author of:
Commend ASBS, Commend Anime Daisuki, Commend 1 Infinite Loop, Repeal Condemn North Korea, Repeal Commend Luna Amore, and Commend Luna Amore.
Former Delegate of TEP.

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Zaolat
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1385
Founded: Aug 01, 2011
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Zaolat » Tue Sep 02, 2014 12:47 am

Eist wrote:Oh, god. Not Osiris again! lmao Cormac, I can't believe you are still peddling that old joke of yours around!

I find it bemusing that you can tell me with a straight face that Kain and his gang moved into the brand new region with the most noble of intentions. TITO did what it thought best at the moment (and a move I still think was best) by piling in the numbers to essentially take what wasn't actually Kain's to begin with--the region hadn't even seen a single update. TITO gains control with the help of many others and calls for a democratic election. Kain (and many others; you?) blows his fucking gasket over this with some of the most vile language I've ever seen in this game, and over days and days and days on the RMB and these forums. TITO asks AMOM for help to run the elections fairly and freely, which he does. Some guy that doesn't even like TITO wins and becomes delegate. Case closed? I'd hope it was for every sane person here, but I'm going to take a stab and say that you have more to say on this...


You think I didn't like TITO? That's absurd, I didn't trust TITO. In fact I was IN TITO for a short time and then my computer fried. I didn't trust that TITO nor Kain had the best intentions for the region. Despite being a long term FRA member and Defender then, I knew how to separate my affiliations in order to be neutral. I felt that TITO would disregard the raiders and at the time early on Kain would make Osiris a raider bastion.

Hours later I found out that Kain was someone I knew and we had discussions and he decided to support my cause, since his wasn't going anywhere. Whether it was Revert or myself who won, didn't matter really, what mattered was avoiding the drama Balder had initially and making a community welcome to all. I'm satisfied to say, it did at the start end up that way, until the Empire.

Regardless of my affiliations now, I like Wordy and think she should get a commendation.
Pharaoh Emeritus of Osiris - Forum - Guide to the Gameplay Forum
Max Barry on The Legend of Zelda
<Zaolat>: maxbarry: Have you played any Legend of Zelda video game?
<maxbarry>: I have NEVER played Zelda, I know that is shocking
Victim of the Flag Thief

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Cormac A Stark
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1034
Founded: Jul 24, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Cormac A Stark » Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:23 am

I would be much more inclined to vote for this if GRO's suggested language in regard to Osiris (here) is used. I'll likely be voting against if the current language is in the final, submitted product.
Last edited by Cormac A Stark on Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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McMasterdonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 762
Founded: Apr 19, 2012
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby McMasterdonia » Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:01 pm

Somehow I missed that last time. Change made.
Minister of Cults, the North Pacific
General of The North Pacific Army
Minister for Foreign Affairs (Ret.)
Minister for Education (Ret.)
Security Councillor (Ret.)
Minister for Defence (Ret.)
Minister For Communications (Ret.)
Minister for Welcoming(Ret.)
Former Delegate of The North Pacific x 5
Vice Delegate of the North Pacific (Ret.)

Authored Security Council Resolutions

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McMasterdonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 762
Founded: Apr 19, 2012
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby McMasterdonia » Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:45 am

I have made a couple more changes & added in some context for the Heart of the Islands award.
Minister of Cults, the North Pacific
General of The North Pacific Army
Minister for Foreign Affairs (Ret.)
Minister for Education (Ret.)
Security Councillor (Ret.)
Minister for Defence (Ret.)
Minister For Communications (Ret.)
Minister for Welcoming(Ret.)
Former Delegate of The North Pacific x 5
Vice Delegate of the North Pacific (Ret.)

Authored Security Council Resolutions

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District XIV
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5990
Founded: Dec 01, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby District XIV » Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:23 pm

Glad to see this at vote; for.

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Lucifer Marttanheim
Secretary
 
Posts: 26
Founded: Sep 03, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Lucifer Marttanheim » Sun Sep 07, 2014 4:52 am

I don't see anything wrong with this. If there is a problem, do point it out to everyone.
If you're wondering why someone like me was chosen to represent a nation, it is because that same wonder is what forced my superiors to choose me, my dear fellow.

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Shemiki
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1069
Founded: Jun 08, 2011
New York Times Democracy

Postby Shemiki » Sun Sep 07, 2014 8:14 pm

Full support. Can't imagine anyone else more deserving of a commendation :)
1 2 3 4 5
Economic Left/Right 7.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian -2.21
Je suis canadien.

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Myrix
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 47
Founded: May 07, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Myrix » Mon Sep 08, 2014 1:03 pm

Give me a reason why this vote is commending a nation that stands out among all the other commendations.Give me a pretty good reason (or reasons) and you'll get one more "for" vote.

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Lucifer Marttanheim
Secretary
 
Posts: 26
Founded: Sep 03, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Lucifer Marttanheim » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:24 pm

Myrix wrote:Give me a reason why this vote is commending a nation that stands out among all the other commendations.Give me a pretty good reason (or reasons) and you'll get one more "for" vote.


With all due respect dear sir, I do believe there are reasons...

*Lucifer leans closer to the ambassador and whispers, pointing at a sheet of paper:*

It says so in the final draft, the reasons why it should be commended.

*Lucifer suddenly stands up, eyes open, and releases a flamboyant gesture of the hand*

BUT THEN AGAIN! If you are wondering why such reasons make it eligible for a commendation, then dear sir, I do believe the other delegates and ambassadors have explained why prior to this conversation, or will do in due time! There have been commendations with less...value...than this...
If you're wondering why someone like me was chosen to represent a nation, it is because that same wonder is what forced my superiors to choose me, my dear fellow.

User avatar
District XIV
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5990
Founded: Dec 01, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby District XIV » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:26 pm

Myrix wrote:Give me a reason why this vote is commending a nation that stands out among all the other commendations.Give me a pretty good reason (or reasons) and you'll get one more "for" vote.

Read the resolution maybe? It contains all the ‘reasons’ you'll need.

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Believia
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: Sep 09, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Believia » Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:38 am

this is typical of the UN - voting on crap... Are there no other bigger issues....? :?:

User avatar
McMasterdonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 762
Founded: Apr 19, 2012
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby McMasterdonia » Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:21 am

Believia wrote:this is typical of the UN - voting on crap... Are there no other bigger issues....? :?:


:eyebrow: Apparently not.
Minister of Cults, the North Pacific
General of The North Pacific Army
Minister for Foreign Affairs (Ret.)
Minister for Education (Ret.)
Security Councillor (Ret.)
Minister for Defence (Ret.)
Minister For Communications (Ret.)
Minister for Welcoming(Ret.)
Former Delegate of The North Pacific x 5
Vice Delegate of the North Pacific (Ret.)

Authored Security Council Resolutions

User avatar
Solorni
Minister
 
Posts: 2698
Founded: Sep 04, 2007
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Solorni » Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:20 am

Believia wrote:this is typical of the UN - voting on crap... Are there no other bigger issues....? :?:

Considering nearly 2 million people die from diarrhea each year, crap is a very a big issue.
Lovely Queen of Balder
Proud Delegate of WALL

Lucky Number 13

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Improving Wordiness
Diplomat
 
Posts: 637
Founded: Dec 05, 2009
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Improving Wordiness » Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:54 pm

I would like to thank everyone for voting for this Commend :) It is a huge honour to have been awarded a Commendation for doing what I love and to have been given recognition by my fellow players.
Thank you McM for Authoring it in such a lovely way and taking the time and effort in campaigning for it :)
*Wordy now lost for words*
Klaus Devestatorie wrote:I'm a massive tool. ;)

User avatar
Shizensky
Diplomat
 
Posts: 602
Founded: Mar 29, 2004
New York Times Democracy

Postby Shizensky » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:40 am

Well deserved. Congratulations, Wordy.
"Look, that's why there's rules, understand?
So that you think before you break 'em."
My favorite thing about UDP jokes
is I don't care if you get them or not.

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Paffnia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 141
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Paffnia » Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:58 am

Glad to see this pass for a deserving, overdue nominee. Congrats Wordy!
Former Delegate of the 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers

User avatar
Baden-Wuerttemberg
Secretary
 
Posts: 38
Founded: May 21, 2012
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Baden-Wuerttemberg » Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:05 am

Congratulations, Wordy. I'm happy to see this. Beyond symbolic recognition, the text serves as a public reference for people who may wish to contact you for support. Thanks to you and others for volunteering time against internet behaviour which is not at all your responsibility to deal with.
Deutschland. Eine liberale, demokratische,
kosmopolitische und mehrsprachige Region.
Jeder ist willkommen,
Fremdenhass werden wir jedoch nicht tolerieren.
Deutschland. A liberal, democratic,
cosmopolitan and multilingual region.
Everybody is welcome,
although we will not tolerate xenophobia.
Baden-Württemberg & Ba-Wue & Wortschatz
Ambassador from Deutschland to 10000 Islands

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