NationStates

First draft up, as per usual, feedback appreciated!

Commend Sanctaria

A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.

Category: Commendation | Nominee: Sanctaria | Proposed by: Abacathea

The Security Council;

Pleased with this esteemed body's work towards furthering international diplomacy whilst resolved to furthering the work of this council to that end;

Convinced that Sanctaria has shown consistent dedication to furthering peace and prosperity in their home region and beyond having served as a Minister for Foreign Affairs to both The North Pacific and International Democratic Union;

Impressed with Sanctarias tenures as Delegate to the International Democratic Union and as Vice Delegate to The North Pacific to which it served the respective regions with diligence and pride;

Observing the nation of Sanctaria has displayed a sizable knowledge of the murky workings of international politics which it has shared with the international community, serving as a Minister for WA affairs to Osiris and The North Pacific on two occasions;

Believing that the extensive knowledge Sanctaria has displayed in their Ministerial roles pertaining to the World Assembly body is matched by their keen legislative agenda in that same body, which throughout the years has seen them author a fine volume of fundamentally important legislation including but not limited to;

• Prevention of Child Abuse - GA#222
• Rights of The Orphaned Child - GA#109
• Habeus Corpus - GA#201

Aware that in addition to this admirable and politically important legislative body of work, Sanctaria has also authored two political scenarios to be posed to the various leaders of the NationStates World to test their skills within their roles;

Convinced that as time progresses Sanctaria will only continue to be a valuable asset to the World Assembly, the regions in which it resides at any given time and the NationStates Universe as a whole,

Hereby;
Commends Sanctaria

Questions brought up via telegram;

Mind if I take a look?

Pleased with this esteemed body's work towards furthering international diplomacy;

Resolved to furthering the work of this council to that end;

Perhaps combining these two clauses might make it flow a bit better.

Proposes that Sanctaria is a nation which truly embodies the qualities of prospering international diplomacy having as a Minister for Foreign Affairs to both The North Pacific and International Democratic Union;

Perhaps something like this:
Resolved to show that Sactaria is a nation dedicated to furthering peace and prosperity in their home region and beyond, having served as Minister of Foreign Affairs to The North Pacific and the International Democratic Union

Further noting their tenures as Delegate to International Democratic Union and as Vice Delegate to The North Pacific to which they served the respective regions with diligence and dedication;

Is Further Noting stylistic? And just "International Democratic Union" sounds awkward. Proposed clause: Noting their tenures as Delegate to the International Democratic Union, and as Vice Delegate to The North Pacific, serving both these regions with diligence and honor

Observing their keen interest in international politics, having served as Minister for WA Affairs in Osiris and serving twice in the same position in The North Pacific;

What are trying to say here? Your exact point seems a bit murky.
I seem to be making a hobby out of editing your drafts, Aba.
Hope my suggestions/ comments helped.
- Ramaeus

Ramaeus wrote:Mind if I take a look?

Pleased with this esteemed body's work towards furthering international diplomacy;

Resolved to furthering the work of this council to that end;

Perhaps combining these two clauses might make it flow a bit better.

Proposes that Sanctaria is a nation which truly embodies the qualities of prospering international diplomacy having as a Minister for Foreign Affairs to both The North Pacific and International Democratic Union;

Perhaps something like this:
Resolved to show that Sactaria is a nation dedicated to furthering peace and prosperity in their home region and beyond, having served as Minister of Foreign Affairs to The North Pacific and the International Democratic Union

Further noting their tenures as Delegate to International Democratic Union and as Vice Delegate to The North Pacific to which they served the respective regions with diligence and dedication;

Is Further Noting stylistic? And just "International Democratic Union" sounds awkward. Proposed clause: Noting their tenures as Delegate to the International Democratic Union, and as Vice Delegate to The North Pacific, serving both these regions with diligence and honor

Observing their keen interest in international politics, having served as Minister for WA Affairs in Osiris and serving twice in the same position in The North Pacific;

What are trying to say here? Your exact point seems a bit murky.
I seem to be making a hobby out of editing your drafts, Aba.
Hope my suggestions/ comments helped.
- Ramaeus

I never take exception to people refining my work Ram, I'll make your suggested changes then hit the hay for the night. I normally expect some stylistic changes so I'm happy to have you on side. If not you it's known to be TBHG who is equally as observant!

Edit - Your suggestions with my own stylistic tweaks as you'll see

Edit - Done, heading to bed, if you see anything you don't like still let me know!

Aww, I asked his about this a few months ago and he turned me down.

Obviously, I think he deserves it. Full steam ahead. Choo choo.

Are you certain he held all those positions? I'd have to check his signature to be sure.

I kid, I kid. Except for that one time he labeled me a security threat and stuff I think he's done a great job in his various positions(and that security threat thing was one of the times I think he did an incredible job). Not to mention that time we co-authored that piece on Child Abuse.

One of those folks I could certainly see as deserving one of these here commendation thingies.

The Dourian Embassy wrote:Are you certain he held all those positions? I'd have to check his signature to be sure.

I kid, I kid. Except for that one time he labeled me a security threat and stuff I think he's done a great job in his various positions(and that security threat thing was one of the times I think he did an incredible job). Not to mention that time we co-authored that piece on Child Abuse.

One of those folks I could certainly see as deserving one of these here commendation thingies.

One sources info where one can. And it serves a validation purpose too, the only real omission of sanctaria's work being their status as an issues editor which cannot be noted in the text.

Going to move to submit soon.

Can anyone of the R.4 experts tell me if this would be sufficient to describe the issues editor aspect;

Applauding the work Sanctaria does in ensuring that any political scenarios posed to NationStates leaders are done so in a coherent and proper manner;

It's really the only way I can think of acknolwedging it while keeping it legal.

If you're trying to refer to his Issues Editor work, it's going to be illegal - Rule 1, rather than Rule 4.

Sedgistan wrote:If you're trying to refer to his Issues Editor work, it's going to be illegal - Rule 1, rather than Rule 4.

Thanks Sedge, I'll leave it out so.

It looks good, Aba.
Small change:

Believing that the extensive knowledge Sanctaria has displayed in their Ministerial roles pertaining to the World Assembly body is matched by their keen legislative agenda in that same body, which throughout the years which has seen them author a fine volume of fundamentally important legislation including but not limited to;

You have an additional which after the word years.

Ramaeus wrote:It looks good, Aba.
Small change:

Believing that the extensive knowledge Sanctaria has displayed in their Ministerial roles pertaining to the World Assembly body is matched by their keen legislative agenda in that same body, which throughout the years which has seen them author a fine volume of fundamentally important legislation including but not limited to;

You have an additional which after the word years.

Ho ho! Good eye! You'll be kept

Aba, haven't you ever heard that proposal writing is a marathon and not a sprint?

While I support the commendation of Sanctaria, I'm unable to support this proposal because I believe Sanctaria deserves a better commendation proposal and more than 4-ish days of debate before submission.

Mousebumples wrote:Aba, haven't you ever heard that proposal writing is a marathon and not a sprint?

While I support the commendation of Sanctaria, I'm unable to support this proposal because I believe Sanctaria deserves a better commendation proposal and more than 4-ish days of debate before submission.

I have indeed Bumples but in truth I feel this proposal is different from my usual in the sense it's direct, no fluff and highlights the work Sanctaria has done sufficiently. I'm happy with the end product. Sorry to have lost your vote here

Charax wrote:Aww, I asked his about this a few months ago and he turned me down.

Obviously, I think he deserves it. Full steam ahead. Choo choo.

This. I asked him a while ago whether I could commend him and if I recall correctly he felt that his achievements didn't merit a commendation. Just a thought though.

Kiwitaicho wrote:

Charax wrote:Aww, I asked his about this a few months ago and he turned me down.

Obviously, I think he deserves it. Full steam ahead. Choo choo.

This. I asked him a while ago whether I could commend him and if I recall correctly he felt that his achievements didn't merit a commendation. Just a thought though.

I believe that is the typical humility one would expect from Sanctaria in all fairness though. It is my hope the SC voters will see my points here and realise that he is indeed commendable.

First Pacifican to vote for this. Best of luck, Aba & Sanc.

Voted for. Didn't intend to vote stack (I wasn't even planning on being on right now, but my plans were changed on me), but as long as I'm here and I like this resolution, I figured I may as well. Good luck!

The Black Hat Guy wrote:Voted for. Didn't intend to vote stack (I wasn't even planning on being on right now, but my plans were changed on me), but as long as I'm here and I like this resolution, I figured I may as well. Good luck!

And I'm most appreciative of it. As usual your support is appreciated sir.

Charax NPO wrote:First Pacifican to vote for this. Best of luck, Aba & Sanc.

Appreciated Char!

Voted against due to the grammar issues. Aba, proofread before submission next time.

Auralia wrote:Voted against due to the grammar issues. Aba, proofread before submission next time.

That's a nitpick on your part and we know it! Also, for the record, I did, I even used MS word to try and counteract my often laxadaziness on grammar, and it brain farted too! Although, that said, I've acknowledged them. Points for that at least?

In all seriousness though, minus one or two apostrophes which I admit, it reads aloud to me at least how I intended it to. Sorry to have lost you Auralia. Maybe next time.

Abacathea wrote:

Auralia wrote:In all seriousness though, minus one or two apostrophes which I admit, it reads aloud to me at least how I intended it to. Sorry to have lost you Auralia. Maybe next time.

FTR: you're missing some commas too.

Another day or two of drafting, and maybe someone would have noticed those .... *whistles innocently*

Mousebumples wrote:

Abacathea wrote:

FTR: you're missing some commas too.

Another day or two of drafting, and maybe someone would have noticed those .... *whistles innocently*

Shuddup you and have a cookie

This is doing quite well. Hope it passes. ^_^

Abacathea wrote:

Mousebumples wrote:FTR: you're missing some commas too.

Another day or two of drafting, and maybe someone would have noticed those .... *whistles innocently*

Shuddup you and have a cookie

*noms cookie*

I forgot to say - For