[PASSED] Condemn Automagfreek

[Fischistan]

Xavier walks into the chamber, and begins reviewing the long, expecting a stereotypical Unibotian proposal. He is pleasantly surprised to see it is not about people killing themselves. He frowns. "Considering that this nation has committed the majority of these acts much before I became accustomed to the international community as a whole, I am afraid that I will have to abstai-Whoah, how many souls did he kill?"
FOR

[Unibot II]

the final sentence could be changed to flow better.

"Agreed," said Eduard.

[Unibot II]

Eduard finished reading the newspaper and sighed deeply; he lit a cigarette and hunched himself over, leaning on his delegate-desk. Heir loosened his tie and casually sipped a glass of scotch.

A secretary could tell Eduard was deeply concerned and scurried over to the dishonoured ambassador to ask him in a quiet voice, “what's up, Eduard?”

Eduard bite his lip, “Dreadfire just ordered the targeting of civilian and commercial traffic within member-nations that support the condemnation,”

“Are you sure?” said the secretary, sharing Eduard’s immediate shock and concern.

“Yeah,” said Eduard, “Gholgoth's regional news just reported on it and besides it's consistent with Dreadfire’s M.O.; he did the same dahm thing with the ULN. I should have assumed he'd try something like this; to him the World Assembly is just a big congregation of democratic capitalists and fluffies trying to assert power built on intangible properties -- Dreadfire sees blood and blood alone as the cost for power ... any other possession of power is just theft or charity, neither of which he has time to entertain."

Heir sighed and glanced over at the UnibotiIIan delegation, they exchanged brief glares of contained frustration and sullenness before their eyes parted their own ways again.

---

Mitch Sanderson: Down With Heir, All The Way Down

December 24, 2011 8:32 AM | Comments 2 | Recommend 14
By Mitch Sanderson

DEC 24 (ODESSA CHRONICLE) - In Eduard Heir we see a troubled man. The signs of stress are surely showing on the young thirty-something; the photos of him standing over his desk with his tie undone, glooming about the future of his controversial bill will surely become iconic. There are two direct options that Eduard Heir has: continue his conquest in the name of the truth or let a “bully” (in Heir’s words) win a small victory. On one hand, if he continues his conquest, he will put thousands of lives at risk... civilians dead and international trade including his own nation’s trade, utterly frozen because of what? A condemnation!? On the other hand, if Heir bends to the will of this reality and concedes the proposal to Automagfreek’s ruthlessness, he will reaffirm the Security Council’s status as a useless paper tiger and further reaffirm that nations like Automagfreek can do whatever the hell they like without anyone being able to do a dahm about it – if that doesn’t completely subvert the bedrock principles of the World Assembly and Eduard’s own values of “global justice”.. I don’t know what does.

Frankly I’m dahm happy that Unibot removed this moron from the ambassadorial delegation. He’s a coward; he’s hiding behind his principles when innocent Unibotian lives are at risk. Basically our entire nation’s economy relies on commercial shipping and exports; yet this doofus is sticking up for these so-called “principles” and jeopardizing the nation and the people in it. Mr. Heir’s approval rating from the stockholders of Heir Industries dropped at their meeting on Sunday from his usual 99% to just over 89% -- that’s a huge drop in terms of corporate support; I think we may see the company remove this liberal stooge once and for all from the company’s Board of Directors. We can only hope for the good of the nation and Heir Industries that this clown is canned for good; he should have been canned back in ’09 with that mishap in Phanelmgm. Now this doesn’t necessary end Heir’s ability to continue with this life-threatening liberal attack on the world, he’s been recently appointed as a “private consultant” for Glen-Rhodes in a bureaucratic move that reeks of liberal favoritism between Heir and his old “buddy” Dr. Bradford Castro.

I support the current Unibotian delegation’s push to have Heir removed from the Security Council altogether; Heir’s “employment” is questionable and he’s putting lives at stake by remaining in the assembly and pressing this bill forward for drafting. Honestly, I admire nations like Automagfreek; I think they’re getting back to the heart of international politics -- power is derived from might and these liberal fluffies are going to learn this the “hard way” pretty soon if they don’t withdraw and concede. Unibot and Heir Industries would be wise to contact Automagfreek as soon as possible and try to establish a channel for communication; a nation like Automagfreek could be a valuable ally and customer.

I wish you good luck weathering any potential gunfire during the holidays and have a Merry Christmas.

Comments


What a terriable piece of conservative trash. Mister Heir is just trying to do the right thing and I think people should stand by him. Places like Automagfeek are killing so many people and it takes balls in my opinion for osmeone to stand up to them. Also 99 to 89 isn't a big drop IMO.
- Posted by Ruffdogood at December 24, 2011 10:04 AM

_______________________________________________

Eduard is a commie and he's going to get eeeverybody killed unless someone knocks him off. Mitch is totally right. I bet you by Christmas Eve, Heir will be found having "overdosed" from heroin or some shit like that.
- Posted by Politicallyincorrect at December 24, 2011 10:30 AM

[A mean old man]

You wanted my red pen, you got my red pen.
If you want to keep your commas outside your quotes and piss me off, so be it.
Otherwise, it looks good.

CONDEMN AUTOMAGFREEK
A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region.

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: Automagfreek | Proposed by: Unibotian WA Mission

The Security Council,

Recognizing Automagfreek as one of the most destructive and violent nations present in international incidents since its creation on March 24th, 2003,

Noting that the history of Automagfreek as led by its “Supreme Warlord” is full of needless warmongering and genocidal activity that reveals two overarching motifs in Automagfreek’s wanton behavior: (1) a need to assert and continually reaffirm its superiority through bloodshed, (2) and violent religious beliefs,

Understanding that the unjustified invasion of Sharfghotten was regarded as a way for Gholgoth, Automagfreek’s region, to “re-assert itself as an international powerhouse” and was deemed “The Great Crusade”,

Further understanding that the former head of Automagfreek suggested, in private, that the reason behind the nation's invasion of the Grand World Order was to “re-establish the Freekish Empire's standing in the world”,

Bearing in mind that Automagfreek often threatens nations for trivial reasons: Automagfreek blatantly threatened to “smash all that [Prekonate] held dear into total ruin” and later invaded Prekonate after receiving a diplomatic message it found “disrespectful”; similar threats were made against Kulverint and Sharfghotten,

Further bearing in mind that Automagfreek has threatened to destroy members of organizations for sharing the same name as organizations it has founded (i.e., NATO, NWO) and threatened other bidders in a United Gordonopia oil field auction,

Recalling that Automagfreek often declares war simply for the purpose of human sacrifice (often demanding an absurd number of sacrifices, e.g. “ten billion souls”) for its god of war,

This is all I have time for today.

[Unibot II]

You wanted my red pen, you got my red pen.
If you want to keep your commas outside your quotes and piss me off, so be it.
Otherwise, it looks good.

OOC: You know I love you.

Very good job editing, I've added all of your edits.

[Tim-Opolis]

*looks at proposal*

RP?
Unibot Written?...

Ehh...

FOR
Only cos Uni wrote it

[Unibot II]

A week ago at Heir Industries and Unibot's latest Board of Directors Meeting,

Ulaş looked around the table of directors, “I think everyone here knows what needs to be done,” he said coolly.

“Yeah,” said an enthusiastic chairman, “that dahm vending machine on the ninth floor needs to be fixed!”

Stroeken grumbled, “no – Eduard. We need Eddy killed off.”

The Chairman of the Board, Walter Freeman, an eldery statesman stood up immediately with a concerned look of his face.

“I OBJECT!” shouted Walter, “Eddy is a human being, a human being whose life work gave us our jobs... the least we can do is not murder him!”

“Fine, Walter,” said Ulaş, “listen, the stockholders still like Eduard to some degree – it may even hurt our movement for him to tragically die; young dead people get heroized. We need him to be dishonoured and not by us, but by the stockholders themselves.”

“An extraordinary general meeting between the stockholders,” said Walter under his breath.

“Precisely,” said Ulaş.

“But who shall replace Eduard as Chief Executive?” asked Walter.

“I will; I’m the Senior ‘VP’, I’ve done my time and I’m qualifie—“ said Stroeken before Ulaş interrupted him.

“That won’t be necessary, I’ve spoken with the rest of the Board of Directors, they approve of my nomination, Bart,” said Ulaş sneeringly.

Stroeken looked around hopelessly to the other directors who were doing their best to look away from Stroeken as he scanned the room for future victims of a cold, vengeful glare.

Walter frowned, he was clearly analyzing Ulaş. He did his calculations and sat down to sigh “very well.”

---

Today at the World Assembly,

Eduard opened his letter from Heir Industries and sat down upon reading it; clearly in shock.

NOTICE

NOTICE is hereby given that an Extraordinary General Meeting of the company will be held on December 29 2011 at 5:00 P.M. at the registered office of the Company situated at Mary Ave., Unibot Town, Hr. to transact the following business:—

1. To consider and, if thought fit, to pass, with or without modifications, the following resolution as an ordinary resolution, in respect of which a special notice has been received by the company;

RESOLVED THAT Mr. Eduard Heir be and is hereby removed from the office of director of the Company with effect from the conclusion of this meeting. Ulaş Dorenbos is nominated for the position of Chief Executive Officer, Bartholomew Stroeken is nominated for the position of Executive Vice President, Brock G. Odom is nominated for the position of Chief Operations Officer, Buckminster M. Hardy is nominated for the position of Chief Technical Officer, Ivy F. Hubbard is nominated for the position of Senior Vice President, Caldwell U. Richmond is nominated for the position of Vice President, Lillian P. Vance is nominated for the position of Vice President, Jasper L. Whitaker LL.D is nominated for the position of the head of the Second Unibotian WA Mission and Michael Wilkins LL.B. is nominated is nominated for the position of the Vice Ambassador of the Second Unibotian WA Mission.

A written representation with respect to the resolution set out above for the removal of Mr. Eduard Heir as a director have been received from Mr. Eduard Heir and the following nominees have received written representation with respect to the nominations set out above. A copy of these representations is enclosed to this notice.

Date, December 21 2011

By order of the Board of Directors
Mathijs Eveleens, Secretary

A secretary passed by the shocked Eduard, "what's up now, Mr. Heir?"

Eduard gulped, "there's going to be vote on whether I'm going to be replaced as the head of Heir Industries."

[Greater Tezdrian]

The Tyrian Room
Das Tyrianische Zimmer

---

---

Spezielle Büros der Krone, die Hofburg
0001 Schwarz-Adler Straße, Groß Bezirk
Die Stadt Sonnestadt, das Koniglas Freikorps von Großraum Tezdrian
Speziell bezüglich Vorschlag Verurteilung der Respektiert Verbündete von Automagfreek und der Niederlage

---

---

Greater Tezdrian has, historically, been quite opposed to the World Assembly. We are still opposed to the World Assembly. However it has recently come to the attention of myself and the Senate that lobbying from inside the WA may be a good may to advance the Freikorps' cause. And the cause of it's allies. Speaking from personal experience I can say that Security Council condemnation is not a great crippler of status and ability to act within the wider world. However I must formally submit a vote of opposition to the proposed legislation. The reader can answer any questions concerning the Tezdriani stance.

Signed,
Ling Tan
[signed]

---

---

[Saxon - Deutsch - Latine - Française - Eλληνικά]

[BellRose]

Cesar Stood, holding his Tablet PC. The Communique from Greater Tezdrian helpfully auf Deutsch.

"Fellow members of the Security Council, I feel this debate is missing the point. We in the SC have come together to debate concerns to all of us. And yet, our power is limited to only commend or condemn nations.

Most nations will at least attempt to debate their condemnation here in this chamber.

This Damion Dreadfire, this "Leader" of the nation of AutoMagFreek has chosen not to debate this condemnation. He has decided to rattle sabres.

He has declared that any, ANY nation that supports this condemnation shall be attacked. If His Nibs instructs me to vote FOR this condemnation shipping flying the BellRose flag might be attacked by AutoMagFreek's fleet.

I remind my fellow delegates and members of this august chamber, there are THOUSANDS of nations like us.

This transcends our internal divisions.

My Question is, Do we, members of the World Alliance Security Council allow ONE nation to dictate our actions?

We of the Security Council have chosen to merely debate whether or not to condemn a nation. That nation has Threatened an act of war against us, against the Security Council for this action.

Ignore for a moment that AutoMagFreek has committed this long list of atrocities and violations. There are many nations that have indiscretions in their past. Few nations have committed so many.

But has ANY nation threatened the Security Council?

Has ANY nation attempted to so dictate our actions?

I yield the floor"

With that Cesar sat back down.



( Bellrose Factbook at http://nswiki.net/index.php?title=Bellrose )

[Belschaft]

Natasha Hargreave, Belschaft's Deputy Ambassador to the WA, was in a terrible mood. The last few weeks at amused her highly, with the apparent downfall of a man she detested both personally and professionally; Eduard Heir. Now, much to her chagrin, she found herself tasked with the duty of assisting him, when she would rather have sat on the sidelines, watching him collapse. She'd made a point of acquiring front row seats in the Security Council, and hapless aides were stationed there round the clock to save them, and a particularly disliked minion had the duty of following Heir with a video camera to catch the very moment when despair brought the man crashing down.

Pausing only to shout at anyone who got in her way or dared to look at her in a way she disliked - more than a dozen WA Ambassadors, including Heir himself, had been hospitalized shortly after they had propositioning her - she barged into Unibot's Office, knocking over a stressed looking secretary who didn't even get a first glance, never mind a second. Before anyone could even think of asking her what exactly she thought she was doing, she was through a second set of doors and into his office.

[Unibot II]

Percy, Heir's personal photocopier and errand boy, was sitting in Eduard's chair, with his back to the door; reclining causally with his feet sitting comfortably on the radiator. He was sipping some of Heir's more expensive scotch and reading Eduard's... magazines.

As Hargreave barged into the office, Percy flung the glass across the room and pulled up his pants, dropping the magazines on the ground .. he stumbled out of the chair as fast as possible and turned around to greet his boss with a cheery but intensely worried face.

"Ehhh, Hi Mister Hei---" said Percy before faultering, "oh you're not *like* Heir *hic*"

Percy burped uncontrollably, hiding his red ballooning face. He smiled goofly and then composed himself.

"I'm *like* so sorry.. you must be December? Or wait, no... she's a red-head... are you September? You look like September, you must be September. Eddy was so *like* pleased when he got your number at that *like* party and everyfnghinnn" said Percy as his voice faultered and he looked away nervously.

"Um, anyways, Eddy -- I mean -- Mister Heir just got fired -- I mean -- reassigned.. um out of his company and out of his job so.. *like* you'll find him at the Stranger's Bar probably," said Percy.

Heir's secretary stuck her body halfway out of the door, knocking Natasha out of the way... "Perce, call on Line 1.. it's Neville again. Eddy was kicked out of the Stranger's Bar," she whispered sternly.

Percy frowned, "how does someone get kicked out of *like* the Stranger's Bar?"

Percy turned his attention back to Natasha, "so, Miss September, Eddy is probably already at the Three Walled Bar .. it's fifty-percent cheaper anyway and you don't need a monorail .. but if you want my advice, *like* don't order anything that you can't drink in a bottle *hic*. Will that be all?"

[A mean old man]

Just letting you know that I'm still alive ... and I plan to finish looking at this. Tomorrow (today). I think.

[-The West Coast-]

Monster Slayer shook his head, he disliked the white man's words written on the paper a terrified orderly timidly showed him. The Freeks do not deserve recognition for their crimes against man.

Opposed.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

But has ANY nation threatened the Security Council?

Yes in fact, some of us have even blown it up on occasion.

[Frattastan]

But has ANY nation threatened the Security Council?

The Security Council is an assembly of all the WA members.
So your question should read "Has any nation threatened the collective of WA members?"

Yes.

[Unibot II]

A gnome re-read the call to order, "A motion, one 'Condemn Automagfreek', to the floor for re-drafting has been called to order by the Honorable Eduard Faustus Heir, Esquire, Bachelor of Arts, Doctor of Civil Law, Doctor of Letters and Private Consultant for the Glen-Rhodes permanent mission to the World Assembly. The Security Council, recognizing Automagfreek as one of the most destructive and violent nations present .."

Delegations groaned collectively. Drafting beyond a week was generally excessive in the Security Council, let alone a month.

Jasper L. Whitaker LL.D, a gnarling globular mass of white sweaty meat walked into the Security Council with a reliance on his wooden cane. He put his hand on Wilkins's shoulder, who spasmed in surprise.

"What's going on?" asked Whitaker, clearly out of breath from the trip between the two assemblies.

Wilkins poked his thick-rimmed spectacles back up his long nose and eased his chair back to whisper at Whitaker, "The 'Honorable' Eduard Faustus Heir *snickers* has re-submitted Condemn A-M-F to the floor for re-drafting,"

Whitaker scanned the Assembly as the gnomish speaker was reading a portion of the bill, "recalling that Automagfreek often declares war simply for the purpose of human sacrifice *parentheses* often demanding an absurd number of sacrifices, exempli gratia “ten billion souls” *parentheses*"

Mostly everyone was taking a nap, "ten billion souls" hardly even caused a murmur.

Jasper grumbled and raised his arm, the speaker stopped reading the resolution and addressed Whitaker, "Yes, Ambassador Whitaker?"

"The Second Unibotian Mission objects to the re-submission of 'Condemn Automagfreek' for re-drafting; this re-draft was wholly unneccessary and has been done by a person's whose political legitmacy is questionable. Mr. Heir has not even bothered to attend today," Whitaker shouted.

The gnome thought of a reply and shot back with an instant calculation, "overruled. Your delegation's criticism is noted but irrelevant. The Rules of Procedures of the World Assembly Security Council X-V-I-I rule one-hundred-and-sixty-two states that motions for drafting and re-drafting may be made by personal consultants of member-nations or non-member-nations, clergy or any dairy producers union between the first mu-eš of every day in Sumerian notation. It is only submissions of proposals for quorum which are limited to ambassadors and even with that, the attendance of the author in the debate is not necessary," said the gnome who immediately returned to orating the draft.

Whitaker nodded and sat down beside Wilkins, he mumbled to himself, "well played Heir, well played,"

Jasper pulled his phone and messaged Dorenbos, Heir Industries' Chief Executive Officer.

"Archimedes needs the doctor to submit the resolution. Get the tiger to rattle its cage."

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

OOC: have a care with RPing the chairmanship; we've had problems in the past with over-eager players playing chairman and ultimately aggravating the mods.

[Unibot II]

OOC: have a care with RPing the chairmanship; we've had problems in the past with over-eager players playing chairman and ultimately aggravating the mods.

OOC: Sorry, what do you mean, Kenny? I'm RPing the chairmanship of Heir Industries... my RP company. Not chairman of the WA (if such a position exists).

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

OOC: then who's the gnome presiding over the chamber?

[Unibot II]

OOC: then who's the gnome presiding over the chamber?

OOC: Oh sorry, I get what you mean. Whatever, I just felt I fleshing out the bureaucracy but yeah.. understood.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

OOC: no need to apologize; I wasn't personally offended by it. Just be careful with it, because assuming the presiding officer is doing anything other than normal procedural duties has gotten players in trouble for Godmoding.

edit: "normal procedural duties," and lampooning Catherine Gratwick and her bumbling, overbearing bureaucrats...because there's no real harm there.

[Tim-Opolis]

OOC: Since when is the SC an IC thing?

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

OOC: Since roleplayers have been using it - i.e., always.

[Automagfreek]

They're still trying to get this through? Lord Dreadfire said with a mix of amusement and annoyance his voice. The issue had largely fallen by the wayside up until this point, as it was obvious that the World Assembly was unwilling to issue such a provocative and controversial declaration, likely a direct result of the Freekish attacks on the commercial shipping lanes of Assembly members. In a staring contest of wills, the WA blinked first, and the threats of the Empire had been successful. However, there were some from Unibot who would seek to continue forward, which in turn would prompt another Freekish response.

It was decided that the Security Council itself would be targeted this time, to further illustrate the Empire's hatred of the outlanders and once again discourage them from meddling in Automagfreek's affairs. Several diplomatic packages were sent to the offices of those who had give support for the drafting of the resolution, each filled with a highly engineered strain of weaponized anthrax. The Unibotian delegate would be sent something much more...deliberate. Upon opening the package and reading the contents of the enclosed letter, which itself was a very lengthy verbal assault on the WA, the victim would be exposed to the most lethal biological weapon that the Empire had ever encountered; Motaaza.

The incubation period for this Freekish version of Motaaza was roughly two weeks, and after that symptoms would appear very rapidly. First, a high fever followed by fits of uncontrollable vomiting. Then painful legions would form across the body and begin to ooze, and within hours the skin would literally turn to liquid. A horrific way to die no doubt, as the Empire had bore witness to one of the oldest and most effective biological agents as it decimated several countries which now no longer exist. The weapon had been designed by its original creators to mutate after a certain period of time, making treatment extremely difficult.

This was not a move to be taken lightly. Very rarely in the history of the Empire had it ever resorted to use of this weapon, for the mere fact that globalization would undoubtedly cause the virus to spread far beyond its initial target area. Damien was not concerned with this, however, and would enjoy watching from afar as the Security Council was dealt yet another humiliation.

[Unibot II]

A smiling Eduard with a fake tan stumbled into the World Assembly late; both of his arms were stretched out around the two voluptuous blondes that strode parallel to him ... he gave a goofy smile and drunkenly waved as his mistresses semi-carried him to his seat.

He wore unusually large black aviators which his concerned secretary tried to pull off him, the jubilant Eduard resisted and mumbled at her in a scratchy, weak voice .. "*like* get off Kallie, they're covering the scars.."

One of the blondes shushed him and placed their finger over his mouth; Kallie falsely smiled and laid a package on Eduard's delegate-desk, "from Automagfreek," she said coolly.

Kallie began to walk away with a sigh before the Ambassador called out for her in a weak, strained voice, "Kallie.. wait..."

The secretary turned around and walked back to her boss who gave her a slap on the behind and giggled, "I *like* always wanted to do that," said the bespectacled Eduard to one of his accompanying dates -- they giggled with him.

Kallie heard the remark and raised an eyebrow; something was up -- she scoffed and left the drunken trio alone to conduct their business.

This morning's Eduard hadn't had time to sober-up and sat down in his seat; his mistresses shared his lap to sit. The inebriated diplomat lit a cigar, blew a large cloud of smoke into the air. Life was good.