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by Altmer Dominion
Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:52 am
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

CWA makes a good point; while the core satirical message has validity, you might want to have the new royal couple interact directly with @@NAME@@ (however that might be) and remove a degree of separation on the part of the populace. On top of this, other methods could include an additional validity...
by Altmer Dominion
Sat Aug 31, 2019 4:14 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

The draft is shaping up, but the third option could use a bit of TLC. [OPTION 3] As a moment of silence falls upon the room and tiredness takes its toll, you notice one of your predecessor's portraits shaking their head in disapproval. "This is exactly what happens when you let the common folk ...
by Altmer Dominion
Fri Aug 30, 2019 7:30 pm
 
Forum: Arts & Fiction
Topic: What Music Are You Listening To? (Vol. XVI)
Replies: 4911
Views: 62132

Tool - Pneuma

Never thought the day would come again, but here we are.
by Altmer Dominion
Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:02 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

The first thing you're going to want to do is remove extraneous interjections from your options, marked in green. While these are usually meant to provide additional actions and/or characterizations, in most cases such sentences add nothing but bloat to each paragraph. Try to rephrase or reorder the...
by Altmer Dominion
Sun Aug 25, 2019 2:53 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

I'm not opposed to how you've framed this. Traditionally, going from no monarchy --> constitutional monarchy is a bit of a logical twist; historically, many constitutional systems were needed to rectify previously Absolute reigns. However, this scenario has potential as a commentary on the modern Ro...
by Altmer Dominion
Sat Aug 24, 2019 2:17 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

Let me see if I can rephrase. From my point of view, this feels like an 'absolute monarchy' take on constitutional monarchy, even with the associated last option. The crux of constitutional monarchy is the constraint of said monarch's power, not necessarily the establishment of such power itself. Re...
by Altmer Dominion
Sat Aug 24, 2019 1:30 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold
Replies: 35
Views: 789

I'm debating with myself about some of the player autonomy implications, especially in light of the many stringent constraints concerning monarchy references throughout the issue base. As an aside, though, it's interesting that this draft about Constitutional Monarchies doesn't contain any notion of...
by Altmer Dominion
Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:57 pm
 
Forum: Arts & Fiction
Topic: What Music Are You Listening To? (Vol. XVI)
Replies: 4911
Views: 62132

by Altmer Dominion
Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:12 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] House of Terror
Replies: 9
Views: 471

Option one reads like another dismiss button; it needs to suggest something more concrete.
by Altmer Dominion
Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:10 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] It's Just Swag
Replies: 18
Views: 751

You've still not changed the description enough for me to consider that you've satisfactorily addressed Baggie and CWA's concerns. Redundant padding aside, there's yet to be a core national dilemma here.
by Altmer Dominion
Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:01 pm
 
Forum: Arts & Fiction
Topic: What Music Are You Listening To? (Vol. XVI)
Replies: 4911
Views: 62132

Steely Dan - Glamour Profession
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Aug 12, 2019 6:13 pm
 
Forum: Arts & Fiction
Topic: What Music Are You Listening To? (Vol. XVI)
Replies: 4911
Views: 62132

Within Temptation - Ice Queen
by Altmer Dominion
Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:43 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots
Replies: 12
Views: 510

Thanks, CWA. Submitted.
by Altmer Dominion
Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:37 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [Draft]My Preciouss!
Replies: 20
Views: 489

Rest assured, this draft shows promise. However, it's not quite there yet. Before I get to the suggestions provided below, the first point of order is a request to change the current title. While allusions to Gollum may be visually evocative, my personal opinion is that it's in somewhat poor taste c...
by Altmer Dominion
Wed Aug 07, 2019 3:34 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots
Replies: 12
Views: 510

Any other comments?
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Aug 05, 2019 8:45 pm
 
Forum: General
Topic: Mass Shooting in Dayton OH, 10+ Dead, Now With Drag Queens
Replies: 995
Views: 10714

Most of these shootings have been from dem associated individuals. Hardly the "Alt Right" Yeah, the El Paso shooter was a registered democrat, and the Dayton killer was very left-wing. Concerning the first claim (not the second, mind you), unless new information came out about the El Paso...
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:08 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots
Replies: 12
Views: 510

I like those effect lines. Changed.
by Altmer Dominion
Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:45 am
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots
Replies: 12
Views: 510

Finally taking a look at this draft again. Per advice, I struck out the employee pay suggestion.
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Jun 10, 2019 5:16 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots
Replies: 12
Views: 510

[SUBMITTED] Mott's Tots

Maybe not my most serious draft, but I had a laugh when thinking about this. Yes, not even GI can escape The Office. Draft 3: [name] Mott's Tots [description] A few years ago during a speech at the opening of a new preparatory school servicing @@CAPITAL@@'s most disadvantaged neighborhood, E...
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Jun 10, 2019 5:02 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: The Writers' Block
Replies: 5797
Views: 328523

AIright, I think it's time to address that I'm probabIy, unfortuanteIy, not going to be an active writer here anymore. SimpIy put, I started working, and on top of that I have so much irI that I can't even work on my most desired projects, much Iess projects-I-do-for-fun-but-stiII-take-...
by Altmer Dominion
Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:56 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: **Submitted** A Doggone Shot
Replies: 7
Views: 444

Last call.
by Altmer Dominion
Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:51 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT 2] We're going on a beast hunt
Replies: 10
Views: 320

To me, the cryptid mythos works best when sightings are on the periphery, so to speak. Implying that a number of citizens have already been directly harmed raises the question of how close this 'creature' has gotten to established civilization, and subsequently, why a law-abiding citizen hasn't alre...
by Altmer Dominion
Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:41 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] Mary HAD a Little Lamb
Replies: 27
Views: 767

Aclion wrote:How are we expected to find and return the sheep if we know it's been killed?

That is actually a really good point. ;)
by Altmer Dominion
Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:32 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [Submitted] Primarily Unsuited
Replies: 9
Views: 357

You might want to make clear that the primary winner was a tasteless circus clown right from the description get-go. Perhaps I'm just too cynical these days, but my mental picture up until reading the explicitly-telegraphed third option was an uncharitable(?) interpretation of a Boris Johnson-type o...
by Altmer Dominion
Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:26 pm
 
Forum: Got Issues?
Topic: [DRAFT] Mary HAD a Little Lamb
Replies: 27
Views: 767

I'm torn. On one hand, it's a cute issue, but on the other hand... Description: After the recent disappearance of a popular shepherd girl's pet lamb, the nation has jumped into a cataclysmic and chaotic state that could be likened to a civil war or a revolution. ... Why ? I want to like the whimsica...
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