World Cup 14 RP Thread
World Cup 14 RP Thread
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OOC:
Here it is, folks. The bonafide World Cup 14 RP thread. Group draws are at the end of this post.
IC:
LINKS
Pre-World Cup 14 RP Thread
World Cup 14 Scores
World Cup Rosters
World Cup 14 Signups
The Big Book of World Cup Rules
NationStates World Cup Link Page
The Bureaucratic Tribune
BUREAUCRATIC STATES FA & KINGSFORD FA PRESS RELEASE
Oglethorpia and Kingsford are proud to be selected by the World Cup Commitee as hosts of the 14th iteration of the World Cup. The two regional neighbors are fully committed to ensuring that the Cup will run as smoothly as possible, having taken every consideration. The Bureaucratic States [of Oglethorpia] and the Holy Republic [of Kingsford] are pleased to bring the Cup to the Emerald Heights for the first time in the region's history.
World Cup 14 in Oglethorpia & Kingsford will mark the first time the Cup proper will have came to Oglethorpia in twenty-four years -- and thirty-two to Kingsford, though the two nations were not neighbors in the pre-WC12 days.
The road to World Cup 14 will begin with the selection of a corporate sponsor -- a tradition which seemed to die out following the conclusion of World Cup 7. Oglethorpia and Kingsford will make the selection jointly, based on the quality of the sponsor's bid.
Once again, Oglethorpia and Kingsford look forward to running a prosperous World Cup 14.
-- Mel Green, President of the Bureaucratic States Football Association
-- John Lavalais, President of the Kingsford Football Association
---
The Bureaucratic Tribune
WORLD CUP EDITION! That means it costs more, so hand it over.
Sponsor to be chosen before qualifying
Bureaucratic States FA officials have asserted that the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor will be chosen before WC14 qualifying
By Bill Christmas
THE EMERALD HEIGHTS (BT) -- With group draws complete, the road to World Cup 14 in Oglethorpia and Kingsford is nearly ready to be set upon. All that's left for the respective Football Associations of Kingsford and Oglethorpia to do is to select the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor, with heated competition between corporations from Brazillico, Tanah Burung and Lemmitania.
Spokesmen from the Bureaucratic States have asserted that the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor will be chosen before the beginning of the first World Cup 14 qualifying matches -- further adding that "that means the corporate sponsor will be selected by tomorrow [Friday.]" Which we also deduct means that qualifying matchday 1 will take place on Saturday.
Kingsford Football Association officials stood solid by their Emerald Heights neighbors/peers in Oglethorpia by adding "what he said."
With the corporate sponsor bid deadline set at Thursday night (specificially 12 PM PST [GMT -8]) officials from the Holy Republic [of Kingsford] and the Bureaucratic States [of Oglethorpia] will make the selection of which company will assume the prestigious title of official World Cup 14 host -- their name and slogan to be slapped on everything possible during the length of World Cup 14.
Following the decision, the 102 entrants of World Cup 14 can look forward to the fresh start of a new World Cup.
---
SEMI IC/KINDA OOC:
In case you didn't figure it out, here's the plan.
FRIDAY: Oglethorpia and Kingsford select the World Cup 14 corporate host.*
SATURDAY: Matchday 1 qualifying results.
[Following the beginning of qualifying on Saturday, World Cup 14 qualifying results will be posted daily -- matchday 2 on Sunday, matchday 3 on Monday, and so on and so forth.]
Note*: Corporate sponsor information posts can be found here & here. (Please keep corporate sponsor bids in the World Cup 14 sign-up thread.)
Re-posted from the Pre-World Cup 14 RP Thread, here are the guidelines that the co-hosts of World Cup 14 have agreed to follow.
GUIDELINES
- RP BONUS
A. based on a yes/no system of application, rank bonus equal to 1/8 of your current rank. World Cup 14 qualifying matchday 1-3 RP bonuses will be determined by RPs here OR by posting a roster in the WC14 roster thread* (the link can be found above.) Doing both will not result in a bigger RP bonus -- it's this or this, essentially. You either get a bonus or not -- and to accomplish earning a bonus, you RP here or post a roster in the World Cup roster threads.
B. Matchdays 1-3 bonuses will be determined by RP (or by posting a roster) before those 3 matchdays take place. Hence, the RP bonus for matchdays 4-6 will be based on RP during matchdays 1-3 -- essentially meaning that the last three matchdays do not require RP, though it is encouraged. A further explanation on how the RPing bonus will be applied to score generation can be found here.
- ROSTERS -- the roster thread can be found here. Your opponents in World Cup 14 will appriciate it if you post a roster. Please do, if you want to RP. The relationship between posting a roster and RP bonus is outlined in the above section titled "RP Bonus."
- SCHEDULE -- World Cup 14 is planned to begin three days after the conclusion of World Cup 13. Group draws will be announced following the end of World Cup 13, and a day after that, qualifying matchday 1 will take place, 1 matchday per real-life day.
- SCORE DISSEMINATION -- Qualifying scores will be posted in a World Cup 14 scores thread, to be drawn up when the group draws are made. Two days later, qualifying matchday 1 scores will be posted in the scores thread. First round matches and beyond will be telegrammed to the participating nations and posted for all to behold a day later, regardless if the match has been RPed or not.
---
The World Cup 14 qualifying group draws are as follows.
GROUP 1
Audioslavia (6)
The Eagles Nest (11)
Total n Utter Insanity (24)
East Spaam (39)
Grand master Mark (56)
New Montreal States (72)
Presgreif
Larkinia
Kendelstand
New Luca
GROUP 2
Lemmitania (5)
Cockbill Street (19)
Kaze Progressa (31)
Creedence Clearwater (44)
Gaddland (57)
Steve's Island (73)
Cicera
Dreyar
Thoroughbreds
G Bugles
GROUP 3
Halfassedstates (7)
Ravenspire (21)
Snub Nose 38 (33)
NEWI Cefn Druids (48]
The Redavic Union (55)
Pablicosta (76)
The Evil Umpire [Melmond puppet]
Holy lndia [Commerce Heights puppet]
Tepalguana
Airenguo
GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia
GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8]
Svecia (13)
Oddslavo (28] [Liverpool England puppet]
Stalag 5 (35)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Lennon Marx (96)
The Fivefold Star
Makongo-Wodimalongo
Dead Man
GROUP 6
Bedistan (3)
Kerla (17)
Dennisov (27)
Belmorian Scandinavia (37)
Tadjikistan (58]
Intelligent Madness (92)
Aerigia (123)
Keyshona
Bobbystan
Vollmeria
GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Mattigool (38]
NASTIC 2 (47)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Anitram
Turnia
GROUP 8
Spaam (2)
The Belmore Family (20)
Dance 2 Revolution (32)
Alex The Tall (46)
Lovebug (63)
Raptor Claw (78]
Tingitana [Bedistan puppet]
ElephantandCastle
Dadostan
Carpet [NEWI Cefn Druids puppet]
GROUP 9
Gesamtkuntswerk (9)
Giant Zucchini (16)
One Red Dot (29)
Aquilla (42)
Jeruselem (50)
Wella (71)
Nanakaland
Clearwater
Shang-Ti
The mighty spurs
GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Europa Britannia (12)
Brazillico (26)
The Weegies (40)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Melmond (62)
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania
Oceaice [Crystilakere puppet]
---
FIXTURES
Matchday 1
1 vs. 10 | 2 vs. 9 | 3 vs. 8 | 4 vs. 7 | 5 vs. 6
Matchday 2
10 vs. 6 | 7 vs. 5 | 8 vs. 4 | 9 vs. 3 | 1 vs. 2
Matchday 3
2 vs. 10 | 3 vs. 1 | 4 vs. 9 | 5 vs. 8 | 6 vs. 7
Matchday 4
10 vs. 7 | 8 vs. 6 | 9 vs. 5 | 1 vs. 4 | 2 vs. 3
Matchday 5
3 vs. 10 | 4 vs. 2 | 5 vs. 1 | 6 vs. 9 | 7 vs. 8
Matchday 6
10 vs. 8 | 9 vs. 7 | 1 vs. 6 | 2 vs. 5 | 3 vs. 4
Matchday 7
4 vs. 10 | 5 vs. 3 | 6 vs. 2 | 7 vs. 1 | 8 vs. 9
Matchday 8
10 vs. 9, 1 vs. 8 | 2 vs. 7 | 3 vs. 6 | 4 vs. 5
Matchday 9
5v s. 10 | 6 vs. 4 | 7 vs. 3 | 8 vs. 2 | 9 vs. 1
*The first number in the fixtures denotes the home team.
*Simply flip the fixtures around for matchdays 10-18.
!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!
Regional Leaders Collide in WCQ XIV
The Colony of Vilita and The Armed Republic of Crystilakere, Founder and Delegate of the Atlantian Oceania region, respectively, have been drawn together in Group 4 of the World Cup 14 Qualifying Stage. Also noted are Perennial Favorites Rejistania, and notables Tanah Burung, Ianisle and Ineptia. First Time reports from the Vilita Camp is they will be direly awaiting the matches against Rejistania as the biggest matches in the history of the National Team. This will also mark the first time two members of the Atlantian Oceania region have faced it's other on the NationStates stage.
GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia
Team Profiles & Projected Finishing Postions: 
1>
Rejistania
Rejistania is a name synonymous, not only throughout Vilita, but throughout the entire NationStates community, with excellence in sport. At the World Cup, this is no different. A Past Winner and Host of the great event, Rejistania will be as ready as ever, and should easily walk away with the Top Qualification Spot in Group 4.
2>
Iansisle Ianisle is a name unknown to Vilitans on the field, but off the field, many will be familiar with the country that has been subject to many VOIA reports in recent months. This should add interest to an otherwise un-interesting game to the every day Vilitan.
3>
Squornshelous Squornhshelous' name preceeds them when it comes to the World Cup. Always well ranked and full of potential, they seem to perfectly fit the mold of the "Also didn't finish last" group. While they are unlikely to completely falter in this qualifying stage, They will need to rebuild squad confidence if they are to make a run at the final.
4>
Tanah Burung Like Ianisle, Tanah Burung will be a name completely foreign to the world of Vilitan sport, but the everyday news watcher will know well of the watchful eye VOIA has been keeping on them in recent times.
5>
Vilita Santo Kecker will again lead the Jungle Cats in their quest for World Cup qualification. Jurgen Ramzi, who missed the WCIII squad due to personal committments, will be ready to make a major impact supporting the midfield this time around. Inexperienced defender Mark Price misses out due to the return of Ramzi. Helmut Vilkaus will again lead from the sidelines and Massimo Corsi is expected to retain his position in Net.
6>
Praying2God Praying2God will likely use WCQXIV as a build up to their WCXV Campaign. A strong showing here could move them up in the rankings and into contention for a better draw next time around.
7>
Ineptia While this is the first World Cup for Ineptia, no one can doubt their potential. One of the single largest nations in the World, Ineptia will have the largest pool of talent to choose from in their maiden qualification run than any team in the history of the sport. While the experience of some of the other sides will likely show through in the end, If there is any unranked team capabable of causing a dent in the Qualifying Process, it is inevitably Ineptia.
8>
Crystilakere Crystilakere is a long standing ally of the Colony of Vilita. Together, they have shared the Founder and Delegate roles in the Atlantian Oceania region almost since it's inception some time ago. However, on the sporting stage, they are fierce rivals. The Vilitans have had the upper hand in recent years, as their current World ranking shows, However when these two sides step out on the pitch, whats on paper stays on paper, and it becomes a classic battle royale between two regional powers with only one goal in mind, defeating their arch sporting rivals.
9>
Hawcoat Hawcoat is entirely unknown both to Vilita Sport and to VOIA. It is not believed that they will cause much of a challenge to the Jungle Cats this campaign.
10>
Danilotown Danilotown is entirely unknown both to Vilita Sport and to VOIA. It is not believed that they will cause much of a challenge to the Jungle Cats this campaign.
M01:
Vilita [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report]
M02:
Vilita [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report]
M03:
Vilita [1] - [1] Hawcoat [Match Report]
M04:
Vilita [3] - [1] Crystilakere <- [Match Report]
M05:
Vilita [2] - [2] Daniltown
M06:
Vilita [1] - [4] Rejistania <-
M07:
Vilita [0] - [0] Squornshelous
M08:
Vilita [] - [] Tanah Burung <-
M09:
Vilita [] - [] Ianisle
M10:
Vilita [] - [] Praying2God
M11:
Vilita [] - [] Ineptia
M12:
Vilita [] - [] Hawcoat <-
M13:
Vilita [] - [] Crystilakere
M14:
Vilita [] - [] Daniltown <-
M15:
Vilita [] - [] Rejistania
M16:
Vilita [] - [] Squornshelous <-
M17:
Vilita [] - [] Tanah Burung
M18:
Vilita [] - [] Ianisle <-
Current Group 4 Standings:
[code:1:51e3ee32ea]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sqournshelous 2 2 0 0 8 0 +8 6
Tanah Burung 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
Praying2God 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Vilita 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Iansisle 2 0 1 1 3 4 -2 1
Hawcoat 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Ineptia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Danilotown 2 0 0 2 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:51e3ee32ea]
Vilita National WCXIV Qualifying Round Predictions:
[code:1:21c39814b9]
-----------GROUP 1
Total n Utter Insanity (24)
Audioslavia (6)
The Eagles Nest (11)
-----------
East Spaam (39)
Grand master Mark (56)
Larkinia
New Montreal States (72)
New Luca
Presgreif
Kendelstand
-----------GROUP 2
Lemmitania (5)
Creedence Clearwater (44)
Cockbill Street (19)
-----------
Kaze Progressa (31)
Steve's Island (73)
Gaddland (57)
Cicera
G Bugles
Dreyar
Thoroughbreds
-----------GROUP 3
Snub Nose 38 (33)
Halfassedstates (7)
The Redavic Union (55)
-----------
Ravenspire (21)
NEWI Cefn Druids (48)
Pablicosta (76)
Airenguo
The Evil Umpire
Holy lndia
Tepalguana
-----------GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Iansisle (36)
Sqournshelous (15)
-----------
Tanah Burung (23)
Vilita (66)
Praying2God (41)
Ineptia
Crystilakere (123)
Hawcoat (96)
Danilotown
-----------GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8)
Svecia (13)
Stalag 5 (35)
-----------
Oddslavo (28)
Lennon Marx (96)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Makongo-Wodimalongo
The Fivefold Star
Dead Man
-----------GROUP 6
Bedistan (3)
Kerla (17)
Dennisov (27)
-----------
Belmorian Scandinavia (37)
Tadjikistan (58)
Intelligent Madness (92)
Keyshona
Aerigia (123)
Bobbystan
Vollmeria
-----------GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Runaway Moose (60)
-----------
Mattigool (38)
NASTIC 2 (47)
The Republican Army (70)
Anitram
Winged Animals
Turnia
New Kingman
-----------GROUP 8
Spaam (2)
The Belmore Family (20)
Raptor Claw (78)
-----------
Lovebug (63)
Dance 2 Revolution (32)
Alex The Tall (46)
Tingitana
Dadostan
ElephantandCastle
Carpet
-----------GROUP 9
Giant Zucchini (16)
Gesamtkuntswerk (9)
Aquilla (42)
-----------
One Red Dot (29)
Nanakaland
Jeruselem (50)
Wella (71)
Shang-Ti
Clearwater
The mighty spurs
-----------GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Brazillico (26)
Europa Britannia (12)
-----------
The Weegies (40)
Melmond (62)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Oceaice
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania
[/code:1:21c39814b9]
Projected Winner of World Cup XIV:
AudioSlavia
SPAAM SPORTS DAILY
Here we go again....
Qualifying Draw Announced
The qualifying draw for the 14th Nationstates Football World Cup has been
announced, with perhaps the greatest ever rivalry in World Cup history to
finally be played out. Spaam and the Belmore Family have for a long
time been enemies, but have never played against each other in the
international arena. However, they will get the chance this time around,
as they have both been drawn into Group 8, along with a few other
entertaining teams. Even better, Spaam will be the firm favourites, as
they are currently ranked 2nd in the world, their highest ranking ever,
while the Belmore Family are currently ranked 20th, their lowest ranking
in decades.
The full list of teams in Group 8 is this:
[code:1:15f32bade5]Spaam (ranked 2nd)
The Belmore Family (ranked 20th)
Dance 2 Revolution (ranked 32nd)
Alex The Tall (ranked 46th)
Lovebug (ranked 63rd)
Raptor Claw (ranked 78th)
Tingitana (ranked > 100th)
Elephant and Castle (ranked > 100th)
Dadostan (ranked > 100th)
Carpet (ranked > 100th)
[/code:1:15f32bade5]
*tag*
The Brazillicratic Tribune
Group Draw Announced Today
Brazillican officials grinning like idiots after draw
By Tony Easter
(KALITA, BRA) There was a palpable sense of excitement in the FA's headquarters today. With every passing name, the buzz in the room got a little louder until it was all said and done, and officials looked around the room and started shaking hands with each other and smiling from ear to ear.
Since Brazillico returned to international competition, they never saw a Group draw which met there eye. Until now.
It's hard to be happy to be playing against a defending champion, but Eauz doesn't really strike fear in the hearts of Brazillicans. Although the side is much improved from when Brazillico beat them twice in the Harmony Cup, there are a lot of familiar faces thank to the LEAF Superleague. Brazillico knows Eauz and know that they can beat them, and paired up with the infamous "First Curse", fans shouldn't be surprised if Brazillico might just pull an upset against the Fighting Frenchmen.
As for Europa Britannia, well that's a whole other story. The teams only played once in Brazillico's World Cup debut in the second edition, where the veteran Europans handed Brazillico's collective ass to them, beating the Chili Bats 3-0. Many pundits predict that although the score will be different, the result won't likely change.
Another familiar team for Brazillico will be The Weegies, a team they were pitted against in World Cup 12's infamous Group 11. The teams splitted the series, both teams finding ways to win on the road. Since then, Brazillico has gone up while The Weegies have kicked it in reverse, but close matches should be expected.
CAREER LOSERS EL CID THE HERO HAVE ALSO BEEN DRAWN INTO GROUP 10. BRAZILLICO KNOWS VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE CID, EXCEPT THAT THEY JUST TO HANG AROUND THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE DURING QUALIFYING. BRAZILLICO SHOULD WIN BOTH MATCHES, LOOKING TO GIVE "THE CID" A SWIFT, KICK IN THE ASS. ANYTHING LESS WOULD HAVE TO BE VIEWED AS A DISAPPOINTMENT.
Of all the cheers that went out during Group Selection, the loudest came when Melmond's name was picked. After what my superiors have authorized me to call the "Ugly incident in Melmond", Brazillico will be looking for redemption. My guess is Brazillico will absolutely destroy Melmond in the first match, and after being absolutely decimated, the Melmonders will make it a closer thing in the second.
Rounding out the somewhat established nations of Group 10 was Largent. Brazillico manhandled Largent when they faced them in qualifying last time and the same should be expected. You'll see me walking around with a shaved head if Brazillico doesn't pull two wins off against this lowly side.
Four nations will make their qualifying debut in Group 10, notably The Confederate, Lallania, Oceaice and the upper-case letter challenged The mighty spurs. More competition that Brazillico should walk over, a tie would be disappointing, a loss would be an abomination.
Group 10 Predictions
1. Europa Britannia
2. Eauz
3. Brazillico
4. The Weegies
5. Melmond
6. EL CID THE HERO
7. The mighty spurs
8. Largent
9. Oceaice
10. The Confederate
11. Lallania
(OOC-Uh oh, I think there might be a booboo there. I'd be willing to pull out Steve's Island (My puppet) so that one of the Group 10 teams move into Group 2. Cheers.)
State of Football in Melmond
Optimism and Tragedy
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald for the NationStates Football World
A lot of high expectations were put on Melmond’s first and only national team in any sport, the Melmond National Football Team, in their first ever appearance in international play. With their pool of athletes and a football veteran at the helm as coach, many Melmondian expected nothing better than qualification. Unfortunately, Melmond was put in one of the tougher groups with Emerald Heights giants Kingsford and Tanah Burung as well as two sides who are once again on the rise in Svecia and Ravenspire. Melmond finished a distant sixth.
The Melmond Premier League sides were ready to basically sell all their best players to keep the league and its clubs afloat. However, when Melmond was announced as the host of the Cup of Harmony, interest in the sport of football once again rose in Melmond. At that moment, many Melmond Premier League clubs were able to sign their own players. Some clubs even had the finances to afford foreign players. Melmond City, Unne, and Acosta will have football-specific stadiums by the fifth season of the Melmond Premier League as well as World Cup 14 qualifying.
The Cup of Harmony was Melmond’s chance to the NationStates footballing world to show that it can be a football nation and a possible hosting nation of the World Cup in the future. However, it was sabotaged from the start. The WCC didn’t give the Melmond Football Association the resources needed to run a smooth tournament. The MFA tried its hardest to run it all by itself while some countries believed there was foul play on the MFA’s part. That anger came to a boil during a football riot at the last football match at Farmers Field in Melmond City, where the Brazillico players beat up a referee believing he was being paid by the MFA to fix the match. Mud was slung between the fans and by the individual FA’s behind the scenes. Fortunately, all is now healed between all parties and the WCC is on its way to becoming a well-oiled machine.
The amazing performance of the Melmond National Team was overshadowed by all the controversy as they won the Golden Keg, proving their talent to the world which they always knew they had. That win boosted the demand for Melmond Premier League clubs. The MPL will expand to the cities of Suburbia and Lee.
The fans should be even more demanding of the Fearless Farmers Version 2.0. Unfortunately, tragedy hit the side prior to the announcement of the roster. Star striker Taxt, who had the most goals in Melmond Premier League history, was found dead at the age of 33 due to what was apparently a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A month earlier, Taxt was in a drug-induced coma. It seemed that no one had an idea of the demons that troubled Taxt as Taxt was a rather private man, and as there was no suicide note, we may never know at all. The Melmond National Team has black armbands sewn into their uniform with the name Taxt on them.
The Melmond National Team version 2.0 looks rather similar to the one of last year. Other than the departed-too-soon Taxt, goalkeeper Cory Yankovic is the only omission, as she left the national team as well as her club Faasen Oranges to play for the Melmond City Blues and be with her husband in Melmond City. Her replacement however is an absolute stud. Snhp Xtfuinxm was basically a word-of-mouth legend in the Wzzknf region of Melmond that the Aldi Reds took a chance on. That chance has brought the Aldi Reds to the top half of the MPL as well as giving Melmond its first superstar goalkeeper. Another position of strength for Melmond is the striker position, as all four strikers on the team have starting talent. Naturalized Melmondian and native of the defunct nation of Warnocks Wizards Mornakh the Bloody Handed as well as Diallo Unne are the physical strikers. The finesse players are Benjamin Leeb, a master on the ground, and Chris Owen, a high flying player. The defence is vastly improved as Jonsi Torrini and Nina Steen have flourished playing overseas. Sergio Ortiz and Scott Cheney are consistent markers with more experience now. The midfield is a little bit of a question. Superstar Critandi Unne and speedy Camui Arai are the solid members. Martin Goodwin is getting in on years and Cristina Antunez isn’t solid to the point where she is superior to the midfielders on the bench. Either way, Melmond is expected to qualify. After all, qualifying for the first time by hosting the whole World Cup doesn’t seem right. The pressure is on.
Melmondians Undercover!
Infiltrating the Evil Umpire
By AREYOUCRAZYDOYOUREALLYTHINKIAMGOINGTOGIVEOUTMYNAMETHEYWILLKILLME
THE EVIL UMPIRE—Lately as the Melmond National Team has been making its mark on the national stage, people have paid extra attention to their name in the news. On the sign up sheet for World Cup 14 is a mysterious nation called The Evil Umpire, which proclaims to be a puppet of Melmond. The Melmond International Affairs committee completely denies any connection between the free Melmondians and the enslaved peoples of The Evil Umpire. However, as this undercover reporter discovers, there are Melmondian roots to this nation.
Once the country reaches 500 million people, there will be a great celebration within the nation as the Armed Republic of the Evil Umpire will officially get to change its name to the Unholy Alliance of the Evil Umpire. What alliance makes up the Evil Umpire? Two regions in Holy India, the Umphir and Vamphir regions joined together with Melmondian political outsiders who call themselves “the Asshatians.”
The Asshatians were a group of people who promote fascist views throughout the entire nation of Melmond. They made an attempt at a revolution which they called “Fascism Yes! Freedom No!” The shock to the nation forced the Melmond National Team to withdraw from the first Eagle’s Cup. Ultimately, the revolution failed and the Asshatians bailed out of the country to start their own nation.
They ran into two regions in the nation of Holy India, and as both sides got into friendly terms (in more way than one I might add) with the Asshatians, the regions became one and the Evil Umpire was born. The Umphir people have notoriously had a black and white view of the world, which worked rather well with fascism. The Vamphir people are known for being bloodthirsty mercenaries and enjoy the idea of being enforcers.
The entire country is run by a small man by the name of 8-Bit. He is on the flag of the Evil Umpire as he is loved and feared. He acts like a demigod and the people of the nation really have no objections of doing everything he says.
As for the nation of football in the country, they hope to smash all freedom loving countries in the upcoming qualifying sessions. They will play their games in the National Stadium/Execution Ground of the Evil Umpire in their capital of Undisclosed Location. The Vamphir people brought their regional variation of the Holy India Tea Bag as a mascot for the Evil Umpire.
As a final word, I must say this reporter will not mention the entire vampire tea bag joke which points to what the Evil Umpire mascot really is as it is truly tasteless. Anyway, I wanna get out of here!!!!
hello
...nice... response?
Double post.
The Brazillicratic Tribune
Group Draw Announced Today
Brazillican officials grinning like idiots after draw
By Tony Easter
(KALITA, BRA) There was a palpable sense of excitement in the FA's headquarters today. With every passing name, the buzz in the room got a little louder until it was all said and done, and officials looked around the room and started shaking hands with each other and smiling from ear to ear.
Since Brazillico returned to international competition, they never saw a Group draw which met there eye. Until now.
It's hard to be happy to be playing against a defending champion, but Eauz doesn't really strike fear in the hearts of Brazillicans. Although the side is much improved from when Brazillico beat them twice in the Harmony Cup, there are a lot of familiar faces thank to the LEAF Superleague. Brazillico knows Eauz and know that they can beat them, and paired up with the infamous "First Curse", fans shouldn't be surprised if Brazillico might just pull an upset against the Fighting Frenchmen.
As for Europa Britannia, well that's a whole other story. The teams only played once in Brazillico's World Cup debut in the second edition, where the veteran Europans handed Brazillico's collective ass to them, beating the Chili Bats 3-0. Many pundits predict that although the score will be different, the result won't likely change.
Another familiar team for Brazillico will be The Weegies, a team they were pitted against in World Cup 12's infamous Group 11. The teams splitted the series, both teams finding ways to win on the road. Since then, Brazillico has gone up while The Weegies have kicked it in reverse, but close matches should be expected.
CAREER LOSERS EL CID THE HERO HAVE ALSO BEEN DRAWN INTO GROUP 10. BRAZILLICO KNOWS VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE CID, EXCEPT THAT THEY JUST TO HANG AROUND THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE DURING QUALIFYING. BRAZILLICO SHOULD WIN BOTH MATCHES, LOOKING TO GIVE "THE CID" A SWIFT, KICK IN THE ASS. ANYTHING LESS WOULD HAVE TO BE VIEWED AS A DISAPPOINTMENT.
Of all the cheers that went out during Group Selection, the loudest came when Melmond's name was picked. After what my superiors have authorized me to call the "Ugly incident in Melmond", Brazillico will be looking for redemption. My guess is Brazillico will absolutely destroy Melmond in the first match, and after being absolutely decimated, the Melmonders will make it a closer thing in the second.
Rounding out the somewhat established nations of Group 10 was Largent. Brazillico manhandled Largent when they faced them in qualifying last time and the same should be expected. You'll see me walking around with a shaved head if Brazillico doesn't pull two wins off against this lowly side.
Four nations will make their qualifying debut in Group 10, notably The Confederate, Lallania, Oceaice and the upper-case letter challenged The mighty spurs. More competition that Brazillico should walk over, a tie would be disappointing, a loss would be an abomination.
Group 10 Predictions
1. Europa Britannia
2. Eauz
3. Brazillico
4. The Weegies
5. Melmond
6. EL CID THE HERO
7. The mighty spurs
8. Largent
9. Oceaice
10. The Confederate
11. Lallania
(OOC-Uh oh, I think there might be a booboo there. I'd be willing to pull out Steve's Island (My puppet) so that one of the Group 10 teams move into Group 2. Cheers.)
OOC:
No worries, Brazillico.
Larkinia appears in two groups -- a simple clerical mistake on my part. Removing the second Larkinia, I have replaced him with "The Mighty Spurs" -- thus correcting the mistake.
GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia
WARRIORS DRAWN INTO INFAMOUS "GROUP OF DEATH"
It is widely believed by experts that the Warriors have been drawn into WC XIV's edition of the group of death. Being the fifth best ranked side in their group, despite being ranked 41st in the world, indicates that the Warriors will be hard pressed to qualify. However, hopes remain high in the Warriors' camp, especially after their recent runner-up finish in The Eagle's Cup. "The thing that concerns me the most is how [Joshua] Harris will play in his return to international competition. However, we've proven that we can win with our back-up goalie, Mark Williams, who was unbelieveable for most of The Eagle's Cup," Head Coach Martin Luther told the media. It is widely believed within Praying2God that the Warriors' chances to qualify will largely depend on their ability to score points against the teams ranked above them. Let's take a look at the other teams in the Warriors qualifying group:
Rejistania (4): Definitely one of the world's elite teams, which they proved by winning WC XII. They failed to repeat while hosting the most recent WC, but they are still very tough to beat. The Warriors have never met them before, and will be hard pressed to pull out a victory against them.
Sqournshelous (15): Another one of the world's elite teams. They haven't made any notably deep runs into the WC recently, at least in this reporter's memory. However, they are still to greatly respected, and will be tough to beat. The Warriors also have never played against them before.
Tanah Burung (23): Another new team to the Warriors that ranks amongst the world's elite. Their name is more recognizeable to most newer soccer fans than Sqornshelous' because they've tended to do better in WC play and their media has been more active.
Iansisle (36): Finally a familar foe to the Warriors, albeit one that the Warriors haven't had a lot of success against. They were the victims of a piece of Warriors WC history, as the Warriors drew against them 0-0 for their first ever WC point-in just their second WC match. However, Iansisle won the other match-up and the two teams haven't played since.
Vilita (66): Another relative newcomer to WC play. They haven't had much success so far. The Warriors match up favorably against them, and could potentially pull out a pair of wins against them.
Hawcoat (96): A relatively inexperienced WC side, but is still dangerous and has the potential to have a bright future. However, the Warriors don't want to be the springboard to that brighter future, and shouldn't be...at least not during this WC.
Crystilakere (123): Another relatively inexperienced WC side, and not nearly as much of a threat as Hawcoat to the Warriors. The Warriors should be able to earn the full six points against them.
Danilotown: This is the first of two newcomers in the Warriors' group. They shouldn't be any trouble to the Warriors, but the Warriors still can't afford to take them lightly.
Ineptia: Warriors fans are hoping that this side is as inept as their name implies. However, the Warriors still can't afford to take them lightly.
Predictions:
1. Rejistania (4)
2. Tanah Burung (23)
3. Sqournshelous (15)
4. Praying2God (41)
5. Iansisle (36)
6. Vilta (66)
7. Hawcoat (96)
8. Ineptia
9. Crystilakere (123)
10. Danilotown
FIXTURES
Matchday 1
1 vs. 10 | 2 vs. 9 | 3 vs. 8 | 4 vs. 7 | 5 vs. 6
Matchday 2
10 vs. 6 | 7 vs. 5 | 8 vs. 4 | 9 vs. 3 | 1 vs. 2
Matchday 3
2 vs. 10 | 3 vs. 1 | 4 vs. 9 | 5 vs. 8 | 6 vs. 7
Matchday 4
10 vs. 7 | 8 vs. 6 | 9 vs. 5 | 1 vs. 4 | 2 vs. 3
Matchday 5
3 vs. 10 | 4 vs. 2 | 5 vs. 1 | 6 vs. 9 | 7 vs. 8
Matchday 6
10 vs. 8 | 9 vs. 7 | 1 vs. 6 | 2 vs. 5 | 3 vs. 4
Matchday 7
4 vs. 10 | 5 vs. 3 | 6 vs. 2 | 7 vs. 1 | 8 vs. 9
Matchday 8
10 vs. 9, 1 vs. 8 | 2 vs. 7 | 3 vs. 6 | 4 vs. 5
Matchday 9
5v s. 10 | 6 vs. 4 | 7 vs. 3 | 8 vs. 2 | 9 vs. 1
*The first number in the fixtures denotes the home team.
*Simply flip the fixtures around for matchdays 10-18.
The Valerian Voice
The Voice of The People, Emperor Approved!
Valerian Boyars Drawn Into A Very Tough-Looking Group Five
by Johann Prittwitz
The draws for WC XIV have been made today, and the fate of the Valerians lie in a group with very elite players amongst them. There is a little doubt at the Imperial Estate today as the emperor reviewed the draws. Valeria is ranked sixth in the group, and it is the 61st in terms of rankings amongst the world teams. Will we see Valeria lose a difficult battle, or will we succeed with the current draws? Let's analyze the contenders.
Commerce Heights: Commerce Heights is one of the top ten elite teams in the world. Valeria will surely have trouble with Commerce Heights.
Svecia: Although not one of the top ten, Svecia is still ranked very high amongst the teams of the world.
Oddslavo: Oddslavo in Valeria had been regarded as one of the most strongest teams that were included in the group. They are regarded as a team with vast potential and Valerians will have to watch closely in the games when the Boyars compete with Oddslavo.
Stalag 5: Valerian sports agencies expect the team from Stalag 5 to be a thorn in the side. Even if they are in the 4th ranked position in the group, they are ranked 35th in world standings.
Lovisa: Lovisa is ranked 49th in the world, and the emperor believes that games from the returning Lovisa will involve the use of keen Valerian strategies in order to win. However, many sports agencies regard Lovisa not really as a problem in the grouping.
Ranked 6th in the group is Magnus Valerius. The emperor had prayed with the Archpatriarch Theodoros VII to hope for a good season. Even if we are ranked 61st in the world, this World Cup is full of promise, with a new roster and morale.
Lennon Marx: Valeria expects Lennon Marx to be a pushover in the group. It is believed that they made their debut in WC XIII, and their poor performance in that cup earned them a rank as the 96th most powerful team in the world.
The three remaining nations, The Fivefold Star, Dead Man, and Makongo-Wodimalongo are newcomers to the World Cup, and are making their debut in WC XIV. We here at The Valerian Voice wish them luck, but we will give them no mercy in our matches!
[code:1:76d4946a26]GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8]
Svecia (13)
Oddslavo (28] [Liverpool England puppet]
Stalag 5 (35)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Lennon Marx (96)
The Fivefold Star
Makongo-Wodimalongo
Dead Man [/code:1:76d4946a26]
In the rooms of the RejisFA chaos broke out during the group draw. Well, perhaps that is the wrong expression. Chaos is a normal state there but its amount increased highly during the group draw. Someone only known as Je was there to look the different nations up on his map of the world (which fills three big books and is still not up-to-date or at least complete). When the Rejis ("The Rejis" is a translation of "Rejis'tan", a rejistanian abbreviation of "Rejistaniha") was announced in Group 4, the rejistanian fortune tellers in the services of FIFA first checked if 4 is a lucky number.
The officials forgot all thought and shouted things like "Junis-Omeh'ny, jisu'iln min!" ("Orange-Blues, trash 'em!") when the old rival Squornshelous was announced also to be in group 4. The matches against Squornshelous are matches which 'never happened' as any Rejistanian would say. Unfortunately they did happen and the Orange-Blues were trashed both home and away. Since the Orange-Blues have improved in the time between WC9 and WC13 greatly, they have a chance to retaliate for that embarassing losses.
Tanah Burung was a name, which made many officials feel uncomfartable, the pure idea that the Orange-Blues have to play against clones makes people shudder (the Inikireaist religion believes that clones lack a kind of 'unity of the soul' since they share the DNA with someone else). Then everyone remembers that the clones don't play anymore and no one would admit that they feared it.
Iansisle was a team, which the Orange-Blues have experiance against. In the nation of Tranquilitis, during the Empress Supercup, the Orange-Blues and Iansisle drew 2-2. 2 points are expected from the 2 matches.
Praying2God is apparently a very religious nation and since the Empess Supercup and the Nihasa Rike incident, these nations are viewed with suspicion. The Orange-Blues never defeated a nation which is based highly on christian faith (since the only match like this was a match against Tranquilitis in Tranquilitis, this has to mean nothing).
Vilita, Hawcoat and Crystitalakere are considered to be the easier of the established teams. They are no newcomers but their rank is in the mid third.
Danilotown and Ineptia are unranked teams, of which nothing is known than the fact that they exist.
The schedule:
MD1: Rejistania vs Ineptia (in the Sike kaletri Stadium in Sike kali)
MD2: Rejistania vs Squornshelous (in the Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium in Hetkali)
MD3: Tanah Burung vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD4: Rejistania vs Iansisle (in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD5: Praying2God vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD6: Rejistania vs Vilita (in the Niadi Junis Stadium in Niadi kali)
MD7: Hawcoat vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD8: Rejistania vs Crystilakere (in the Karela lines 'stadium' in KaMaRi kali)
MD9: Danilotown vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD10: Ineptia vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD11: Squornshelous vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD12: Rejistania vs Tanah Burung (in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD13: Iansisle vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD14: Rejistania vs Praying2God (in the KaMaRi kaletri Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD15: Vilita vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD16: Rejistania vs Hawcoat (in the Jesejil Junis Stadium in Jesejil kali)
MD17: Crystilakere vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD18: Rejistania vs Danilotown (in the KaMaRi Ines Stadium in Na~ovi kali*)
KaMaRi Ines means New KaMaRi since this club was founded by North Mintanians in Na~ovi kali.
ASNN - Qualifying Draw Announced
James Kneehan, Sports
The Stars qualifying group was announced today, and it will be no easier than last cups. After last years disaster in the qualifiers, the Stars kicked it into high gear, only to be brought down by The Eagles Nest. This year though, things'll be a little different. With new Head Manager Jeff McKay, many expect this years team to be the exact opposite of last years. With many new players coming in, those on the team suspect that this will be the old guards final push for a cup.
Among those old guards is this years previewer, forward Quentin McKeehan. A star forward for the last five cups, McKeehan is still looking agile and powerful in his old age. His power shot has lost none of it's potency, and no one wants to get in front of that bugger. So without further adieu, let's give you, the World Cup XIV Qualifying Preview
[code:1:dbfcd4024d]GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Mattigool (38]
NASTIC 2 (47)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Anitram
Turnia[/code:1:dbfcd4024d]
Liverpool England, is perhaps the most threatening team in this years group. Once champions, there team has taken a long, slow slide backwards. Though they beat the Stars both times they played last time they met, those were different times. this years defence focuses finesse style squad should take both games, but don't be surprised if they comeback and bite us.
Mattigool and NASTIC 2 will be fighting it out for third place, and that match looks like something to enjoy. These teams will be tough, but don't expect too much out of these guys this time around, but again, don't be surprised if they take one of our games away from us.
On the other hand, you have Runaway Moose, once one of the top teams in the world, now taking a not so short backslide towards obscurity. Expect the Stars to manhandle them both games, and them to continue their slide towards obscurity and defeat.
The Republican Army is also expected to join Runaway Moose in the scraphead of those older and forgotten teams, and those newbies who never went anywhere. The Stars should take them easily both games.
While we have four newcomers in thsi group, don't expect many of them to go too far. Winged Animals, New Kingman, Anitram, and Turnia are all expect to finidh at the bottom of the group in varying order, but never underestimate the power of the newbs, as we should've learned last cup.
[code:1:dbfcd4024d] Predicted Qualifying Table
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
NASTIC 2 (47)
Mattigool (38)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Anitram
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Turnia[/code:1:dbfcd4024d]
SPAAM SPORTS DAILY
More articles for your money....
World Cup Qualifying Analysis
From the analysis of the top 6 teams of each group, some things become
clear. Groups 4 and 5 are perhaps the closest teams in qualifying,
making them contenders for the title, Group Of Death. In fact, Group 4
has 8 ranked teams, as opposed to only 6 for most other groups, while
Group 5 easily has the lowest Standard Deviations. On the other hand,
Groups 6 and 8 are perhaps the easiest groups (for the top teams), with
Group 6 easily having the highest Standard Deviation, though having one
more ranked team than Group 8.
[code:1:902c399ffb]Group Average StDev
1 34.67 25.94
2 38.17 24.98
3 40.00 24.84
4 30.83 21.90 *****
5 32.33 20.45 ***
6 39.00 31.93 ***
7 41.00 22.94
8 40.17 27.99
9 36.17 22.96
10 32.17 23.50 ***
*** Has 7 ranked teams
***** Has 8 ranked teams
[/code:1:902c399ffb]
Tag.
(OOC: Can't RP due to slani RL. But it seems like, for once, we're in a group of slight pain)
(Edit: OOC: Oh, and if somebody scores, blame Harald Axewielder as usual)