[Submitted Competition entry] Heckler, Please Shut Up!

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

Disclaimer: I have written a draft with the exact same title almost 2 years ago now, but times have changed and I do think the issue draft from that time is no good. Specifically, I don't think the options were realistic. I also think though that the issue discussed in that previous draft is one that has not been covered in the pool yet but yet continuously surfaces into politics (after all, just yesterday something like this happened to UK politician Jeremy Corbyn). Enjoy!
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Just as you were giving a speech to a rally, a small group of protesters began calling for you to resign. They haven't really explained why they want this, but still seem adamant that you should go. Tensions are rising and you will have to decide.

validity: all

[option] Your fanactical supporter @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing a balaclava with your smiling face on it is pulled off of one of the protestors. He is screaming," Get 'em outta here! You know, I just want to punch these people in the face and so does everyone else here! They're so disrespectful! We wanted to hear you speak, not them! Just tell us, your loyal supporters, to remove these people and believe me, they'd be leaving here in a stretcher!"
[effect] a political rally is considered boring if there is no pitched battle involved

[option] "You don't need us to do anything; you can shout THEM down!" encourages your sycophantic best friend @@RANDOMNAME@@, running onto the stage to give you a microphone."With this microphone, you have got the loudest voice in this room by far. Just tell these protesters why they are wrong and you'll see that they will surely shut up for you when they see the error in their ways. Freedom of speech allows them to say their minds, but you my friend ALSO have that same freedom of speech, yet WAY more credibility too!"
[effect] politicians and hecklers argue with each other for hours on end

[option] "Or you could actually listen to the @@DENONYM@@ people," challenges one of the protesters."We have concerns that are not being addressed and we are just giving them to you, the political establishment, right here and right now. I can't remember any you bad decisions you've taken right now but if you let us tell the good people of the world our opinions through your microphone, that would truly cement you as a wise and democratic leader!"
[effect] Jeff from the local pub got 30 minutes of TV airtime after seizing @@LEADER@@'s microphone

[option] "Shoo Shoo," you hear as your bodyguards clear the stage around you. Your very ordinary-looking head of security turns to you and laments," Sorry for this inconvenience. If only we had more security personnel and possibly a few snipers at this event then we could have guaranteed your safety better, boss. We could have vetted everyone coming in, quietly removed anybody getting out of line, and made this rally a safe, unremarkable and comforting occasion."
[effect] one has to go through extensive security to get within a mile of a politician

[Drasnia]

Disclaimer: I have written a draft with the exact same title almost 2 years ago now, but times have changed and I do think the issue draft from that time is no good. Specifically, I don't think the options were realistic. I also think though that the issue discussed in that previous draft is one that has not been covered in the pool yet but yet continuously surfaces into politics (after all, just yesterday something like this happened to UK politician Jeremy Corbyn). Enjoy!

I've always meant to do the same with my Clink Kills. Man, has my writing improved since then . . . Anyways, let's get on to the actual draft, shall we?
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Just as you were giving a speech to a rally, a small group of protesters began shouting at the top of their lungs for you to resign. They haven't really explained why they want you gone, but they are very much disrupting the rally to the point where your inner circle- and everyone else- has jumped onto the stage to help you deal with this nuisance.

Pretty decent, though if you're going to submit this as a contest entry, I think it would help if you made it snappier. I'd like to see what it's like with a more narrative approach. Hmm, maybe drop the jumping on the stage and use that in one of the options. This would free up some space to add a bit more humor to describe the protestors and talk about how they aren't protesting anything specifically. Just throwing out ideas here.

validity: all

Hmm, would nations that crack down on protestors like #022.1 tolerate these people enough for this to be an issue? I don't know.

[option] "Get 'em out of here," lectures your fanatical supporter @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a balaclava with your smiling face on it."You know, I just want to punch these people in the face and so does everyone else here! They're so disrespectful! We wanted to hear you speak, not them! Just tell us, your loyal supporters, to remove these people and believe me, they'd be leaving here in a stretcher!"

Lectures+fanatical seems like an odd combination here especially with all the exclamation marks. Again, I think it would make it stronger to make it a bit more narrative (something like "A fanactical supporter wearing a balaclava with your smiling face on it is pulled off of one of the protestors. He is screaming . . ."). You can take that time to just tighten up the dialogue a little bit to make it seem likeore of an angry supporter of yours. I don't think the appositive phrases really fit all that much.

[effect] a political rally is considered boring if there is no pitched battle involved

Good idea that could use a bit of tightening. Probably pluralize the beginning and suc: "political rallies are considered boring if no blood is shed" or similar.

[option] "You don't need us to do anything; you can shout THEM down!" encourages your sycophantic best friend @@RANDOMNAME@@."With that microphone, you have got the loudest voice in this room by far! Just tell these protesters why they are wrong and you'll see that they will surely shut up for you when they see the error in their ways! Freedom of speech allows them to say their minds, but you my friend ALSO have that same freedom of speech, yet WAY more credibility too!"

I think that there are one too many exclamation marks there. Give more description to this speaker like "...@@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ as he shoves a microphone to your mouth.

[effect] politicians and hecklers argue with each other for hours on end

I have literally no opinion on this effect.

[option] "Or you could actually listen to the @@DENONYM@@ people," challenges one of the protesters."We have concerns that are not being addressed and we are just giving them to you, the political establishment, right here and right now. I know this was your event to begin with, but if you let us tell the good people of the world our opinions through your microphone, that would truly cement you as a wise and democratic leader!"

I think it'd be funnier if he says something like "I have concerns about your decisions! Sure, I can think of 'em at the moment, but they'll come to me in time! Or, I think they will . . ." That would further the narrative of how they aren't protesting anything in particular.

[effect] Jeff from the local pub got 30 minutes of TV airtime after seizing @@LEADER@@'s microphone

This effect line feels a lot clumsier. I think there's a better idea in the text somewhere but it isn't coming to me. Think it over for a bit.

[option] "Shoo Shoo," you hear as your bodyguards clear the stage around you. Your head of security turns to you and laments," Sorry for this inconvenience. If only we had more security personnel and possibly a few snipers at this event then we could have guaranteed your safety better, boss. We could have vetted everyone coming in, quietly removed anybody getting out of line, and made this rally a safe, unremarkable and comforting occasion."

Pretty decent too. I think the speaker could use a bit more description. Perhaps talk about how unremarkable he looks to mirror the last sentence.

[effect] dissidents tend to disappear at government rallies

I feel this effect line is lacking. It is so predictable and basically states exactly what you chose.

[Australian rePublic]

There is an overlap with Issue 192

[Trotterdam]

There is an overlap with Issue 192

What? I don't see the similarity at all.

[Drasnia]

There is an overlap with Issue 192

What? I don't see the similarity at all.

Neither do I.

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

Disclaimer: I have written a draft with the exact same title almost 2 years ago now, but times have changed and I do think the issue draft from that time is no good. Specifically, I don't think the options were realistic. I also think though that the issue discussed in that previous draft is one that has not been covered in the pool yet but yet continuously surfaces into politics (after all, just yesterday something like this happened to UK politician Jeremy Corbyn). Enjoy!

I've always meant to do the same with my Clink Kills. Man, has my writing improved since then . . . Anyways, let's get on to the actual draft, shall we?
_________________________________________________

Yeah, I see I gave in before you did. But yes, let us move to the present.

Just as you were giving a speech to a rally, a small group of protesters began shouting at the top of their lungs for you to resign. They haven't really explained why they want you gone, but they are very much disrupting the rally to the point where your inner circle- and everyone else- has jumped onto the stage to help you deal with this nuisance.

Pretty decent, though if you're going to submit this as a contest entry, I think it would help if you made it snappier. I'd like to see what it's like with a more narrative approach. Hmm, maybe drop the jumping on the stage and use that in one of the options. This would free up some space to add a bit more humor to describe the protestors and talk about how they aren't protesting anything specifically. Just throwing out ideas here.

validity: all

Hmm, would nations that crack down on protestors like #022.1 tolerate these people enough for this to be an issue? I don't know.

[option] "Get 'em out of here," lectures your fanatical supporter @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a balaclava with your smiling face on it."You know, I just want to punch these people in the face and so does everyone else here! They're so disrespectful! We wanted to hear you speak, not them! Just tell us, your loyal supporters, to remove these people and believe me, they'd be leaving here in a stretcher!"

Lectures+fanatical seems like an odd combination here especially with all the exclamation marks. Again, I think it would make it stronger to make it a bit more narrative (something like "A fanactical supporter wearing a balaclava with your smiling face on it is pulled off of one of the protestors. He is screaming . . ."). You can take that time to just tighten up the dialogue a little bit to make it seem likeore of an angry supporter of yours. I don't think the appositive phrases really fit all that much.

[effect] a political rally is considered boring if there is no pitched battle involved

Good idea that could use a bit of tightening. Probably pluralize the beginning and suc: "political rallies are considered boring if no blood is shed" or similar.

[option] "You don't need us to do anything; you can shout THEM down!" encourages your sycophantic best friend @@RANDOMNAME@@."With that microphone, you have got the loudest voice in this room by far! Just tell these protesters why they are wrong and you'll see that they will surely shut up for you when they see the error in their ways! Freedom of speech allows them to say their minds, but you my friend ALSO have that same freedom of speech, yet WAY more credibility too!"

I think that there are one too many exclamation marks there. Give more description to this speaker like "...@@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ as he shoves a microphone to your mouth.

[effect] politicians and hecklers argue with each other for hours on end

I have literally no opinion on this effect.

[option] "Or you could actually listen to the @@DENONYM@@ people," challenges one of the protesters."We have concerns that are not being addressed and we are just giving them to you, the political establishment, right here and right now. I know this was your event to begin with, but if you let us tell the good people of the world our opinions through your microphone, that would truly cement you as a wise and democratic leader!"

I think it'd be funnier if he says something like "I have concerns about your decisions! Sure, I can think of 'em at the moment, but they'll come to me in time! Or, I think they will . . ." That would further the narrative of how they aren't protesting anything in particular.

[effect] Jeff from the local pub got 30 minutes of TV airtime after seizing @@LEADER@@'s microphone

This effect line feels a lot clumsier. I think there's a better idea in the text somewhere but it isn't coming to me. Think it over for a bit.

[option] "Shoo Shoo," you hear as your bodyguards clear the stage around you. Your head of security turns to you and laments," Sorry for this inconvenience. If only we had more security personnel and possibly a few snipers at this event then we could have guaranteed your safety better, boss. We could have vetted everyone coming in, quietly removed anybody getting out of line, and made this rally a safe, unremarkable and comforting occasion."

Pretty decent too. I think the speaker could use a bit more description. Perhaps talk about how unremarkable he looks to mirror the last sentence.

[effect] dissidents tend to disappear at government rallies

I feel this effect line is lacking. It is so predictable and basically states exactly what you chose.

Very good points. I'll be implementing the vast majority of them.

There is an overlap with Issue 192

I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm thinking much more along these lines http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38274395 than I am on these lines https://www.democracynow.org/images/blo ... tcoup2.jpg .

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Anything else?

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

Final Bump

[Golgothastan]

We already have an issue about protecting @@LEADER@@ with extra security (257-3) so at the very least we'll have to think about the validity there. More generally, I think the free speech issue is more interesting than the personal security aspect. No one really thinks @@LEADER@@ should be put in danger, but whether people have a right to shout them down is more controversial - for example, the hecklers for President Obama at Notre Dame.

[Australian rePublic]

Brilliant idea, but you should specify how far you are from an election

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

We already have an issue about protecting @@LEADER@@ with extra security (257-3) so at the very least we'll have to think about the validity there. More generally, I think the free speech issue is more interesting than the personal security aspect. No one really thinks @@LEADER@@ should be put in danger, but whether people have a right to shout them down is more controversial - for example, the hecklers for President Obama at Notre Dame.

It's a balancing act. If you don't allow any random crazies to shout at your leader, you certainly are more likely to keep them safe, but then you're restricting the freedom of speech. I'll think about this until I come up with a way to write this while noting the free speech angle.

In the meantime, anyone have any ideas how to bring this about?

Brilliant idea, but you should specify how far you are from an election

Even dictators get shouted at by hecklers on rare occasions. Leaders get shouted at the day before, after and equidistant from elections too, so I don't think I need to specify.

Anything else?