[DRAFT] Oh Holiday Fern, Oh Holiday Fern!

[Lychgate]

Figured that I might as well give this a try instead of just looking for grammar errors in other drafts...
Eligibility as a real issue is a bit out there, but enough people are talking about it to make it work in my mind.

Title: Oh Holiday Fern, Oh Holiday Fern!
Description: When @@NAME@@’s foremost news anchor, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@ referred to her nondescript holiday shrubbery as a “Violetmas Tree”, she set off a chain reaction of events that resulted in a rather unfortunate protest in the middle of @@CAPITAL@@. After being forced to dodge several body-part-shaped ornaments, chicken-shaped marshmallow candy, and a ritual human sacrifice when walking to your office, you have decided to finally put the so-called “War on Holidays” to rest.

Validity: Nation must have decent civil rights and/or political freedom, nation must not have banned religion, nation must not have banned corporations

Options:

[option]”I’M OFFENDED,” screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chairperson of the @@DEMONYM@@ Board for Social Justice. “Calling a holiday fern a…a…you-know-what, is offensive to the people who don’t celebrate…that one holiday. We should force everyone to call something by its proper, politically correct name, starting with the iconography. If people aren’t feeling the fern, maybe they can learn to respect other cultures in jail.”
[effect]@@NAME@@’s prison facilities are overflowing with criminals convicted for offending someone

[option]”But why do that, when you can get this amazing action figure for only 15 @@CURRENCY@@s?” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of @@ANIMAL@@ Toys, Inc. “Instead of focusing on the proper labelling of holidays, we should be focusing on what everyone wants from holidays: GIFTS! Relax some child employment laws, and we can guarantee that we’ll be able to provide all the hottest presents for the holidays. In fact, why not go even further and allow us to open 12 hours earlier on Purple Thursday, Medium-sized Enterprise Wednesday, and Mail-in Tuesday? Maybe I could even sneak in this deluxe, gold-plated squirt gun, just for you!”
[effect]@@DEMONYM@@ children work long hours to produce their own toys

[option]”BLASPHEMY!” says the Grand Demiwizard of @@CAPITAL@@'s Violetist sect, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@. “The holidays are a time for religion and should be treated as such. Stop profaning our most sacred days with your sacrilegious holiday plants and cheaply-made plastic toys. The texts of Violet should dictate all the proper procedures for the holidays. Gift-giving should be banned, too. If Violet didn’t get her own "101 Different Uses for Human Sacrifices" book, neither should we!
[effect]Religious leaders all across @@NAME@@ are known for stealing presents from small children

[option]”But wait, there’s more!”, a group of various costumed holiday figures say in unison, ”You’re all forgetting who does the work on holidays! We work in stores, malls, and even your meeting next week. We’re tired of being pushed to the side by religion and social justice! We demand that holidays be respected, to all a fun time and to all a good night!
[effect]Workers are forced to go to corporate holiday parties by teenagers in bunny suits

From the 2nd draft:
-Fixed hypens in Option 3
-Removed the "peep" pun
-Changed "Archbishop" to "Demiwizard" in Option 3
-Changed "labor" to "employment" in Option 2 (as per Kentalia's suggestions)
From the 1st draft:
-Replaced "Christmas" and its associated bits with Violetist things (as per Trotterdam's suggestions)
-Fixed macros to flow with pronouns
-Replaced some puns
-Rewrote [effect] for Option 3

I could use help in tailoring the options to more of the "Yes, Other Yes, No, Other No" format for 4-option issues and integrating other holidays into the mix

Thoughts?

[Trotterdam]

A Christmas tree is obviously a Christmas tree. In cultures that don't celebrate Christmas, they don't see midwinter as "the time to put up a decorated plant". Putting up a tree (or a fern?, which is a totally different thing) is a clear indication that you're celebrating Christmas, and specifically Christmas, no matter what you're calling it.

Also, Christmas isn't a Violetist holiday. Either just acknowledge Christianity as a thing in that option (we normally try to avoid real-world religions, but I think it's okay here), or change the holiday to Violetmas and include some humorous references to Violetmas traditions that are similar to but slightly different from Christmas ones. Or Cyanmas or whatever other made-up religions we have, since Violetist holidays tend to be about human sacrifice.

[Lychgate]

A Christmas tree is obviously a Christmas tree. In cultures that don't celebrate Christmas, they don't see midwinter as "the time to put up a decorated plant". Putting up a tree (or a fern?, which is a totally different thing) is a clear indication that you're celebrating Christmas, and specifically Christmas, no matter what you're calling it.

Also, Christmas isn't a Violetist holiday. Either just acknowledge Christianity as a thing in that option (we normally try to avoid real-world religions, but I think it's okay here), or change the holiday to Violetmas and include some humorous references to Violetmas traditions that are similar to but slightly different from Christmas ones. Or Cyanmas or whatever other made-up religions we have, since Violetist holidays tend to be about human sacrifice.

Noted. I went with the "Violetmas" route and tried to put in some references there.

[Kentalia]

In option three, the character is as you put it "The Grand Archbishop of Violet", well usually Archbishops serve large urban cities, so maybe switch violet to @@CAPITALCITY@@, I'm not really sure what meaning Violet has to you, but just a suggestion.

In option 2, I know it's the difference in location that switches labour to labor, but because I'm from the UK it annoys me that it is labor. Not sure if you want to change it to something that is spelt the same both sides of the pond, but I'd suggest a word like "work" or "employment". Just so it makes us both happy.

[Lychgate]

In option three, the character is as you put it "The Grand Archbishop of Violet", well usually Archbishops serve large urban cities, so maybe switch violet to @@CAPITALCITY@@, I'm not really sure what meaning Violet has to you, but just a suggestion.

In option 2, I know it's the difference in location that switches labour to labor, but because I'm from the UK it annoys me that it is labor. Not sure if you want to change it to something that is spelt the same both sides of the pond, but I'd suggest a word like "work" or "employment". Just so it makes us both happy.

Noted.
I changed the "Archbishop" part to "Demiwizard", because that's a title I've seen used in issues before. Because the holiday in this case is "Violetmas", and a religious figure is complaining about misuse of the holidays, to me it makes sense that said religious figure should be Violetist.