Friends of Ferdinand: A European Kingdom (RP/IC/Satirical)

[KingFerdinandFan1]

---

Friends of Ferdinand:
A European Kingdom

---

A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of sheep
Tywin Lannister - Game Of Thrones

---

I OOC I

The year is 2016, and King Ferdinand of Portugal currently rules his kingdom. It's not confined to Iberia as it was for so many centuries. Ferdinand's father, also named Ferdinand, led Portugal on a mission of conquest across Europe. It had started off with hiring of mercenaries after he had rebuilt the Portuguese economy. They put into motion his dynasty's plan of conquest that had been brewing for 2 centuries. Spain experienced a sudden wave of unfortunate terrorist attacks, which destabilized them enough for thoughts of succession to spring up. But why secede they said, when Portugal will help us thrive! And so Portugal expanded to half of Iberia, while the rest was taken in the 3 Day War of 1956. A Basque puppet state was set up to secure some of France's territory, from which Portuguese loyalists infiltrated the cheese-eating nation of France, and weakened them enough till Portuguese spies could kidnap the president and force his surrender. Similar tactics conquered all of Europe par Britain. Before he died, Ferdinand invaded the Sino-Soviet Union and got far. His death stalled the invasion, so now the Portuguese army is bogged down in Russia, and Winter Is Coming.

You (yes YOU!), play as a member of King Ferdinand's court, e.g. his doctor, his jester, his concubine(s), his dealer, his personal priest, his military adviser, etc. You must advise him or pleasure him or serve him, for if you don't, Europe could fall to communism. If the king fails his people, then it's because his advisers failed him. From time to time events will have, and it's up to YOU to help Ferdinand deal with them.

---

Roster:
King Ferdinand - The Peoples East Africa
Dealer, Slick Jimmy - Sanabel
Secretary of Concubines, Hillary Rodham Clinton - The Danish Confederacy
Master of the Coin, Tyrion Lannister - Xathuecia
Pet dog, Rover - Wolfmanne2
Jester, Mr. Bean Hindvi - AL-Hind Indus
Grand Master (Head of security), Mr Hilter- Fiery Armageddon
Vizer of Bananas, King of Kong - Mustaemara AL-Hind Indus
Religious Advisor, Gaben - The Jaclean empire
Prince Bitch, Jonathan - Castle Crashers

---

Map

[Wolfmanne2]

Rover stood up from his little blanket outside Ferdinand's bedroom. It was a very nice blanket, it was warm and fluffy with the texture of long regrown buffalo pubescent hair and a scent of dog shit, because dogs never wipe their arses. A very fine blanket, although what saddened Rover is that he could vocally express his satisfaction as he lacked the vocal chords. Ah, a dream it would be to have vocal chords. Nevertheless, Rover plodded across the hallway, his tongue out.

"Pant pant pant pant pant" Rover said. "Pant pant pant".

[Sanabel]

Slick Jimmy sat cutting coke lines, weighing them, and bagging them in silk bags for His Majesty on top of a map of Tajikistan. He is in the King's basement, and he has a soggy half burned but now out joint hanging from his mouth. In the background plays Tocharian throat singing to remind him of home.

He gets up with his bags of coke in a big basket, and begins walking to His Majesty's chambers to deliver the nose oysters.

[The Peoples East Africa]

King Ferdinand The Great Of Portugal Got Up Out Of Bed, And Gulped Down Wine To Ease The Pain In His Groin That His Many Concubines Had Inflicted On Him. He Stumbled Out To Find His Loyal Dog Rover Waiting For Him. He Pats Him On The Head.

"Hi Doggy. Your A Good Doggy," Ferdinand says.

King Ferdinand Walks On, To His Throne Room, To Meet With His Advisors On What To Do About The War, And To Plan His Upcoming Birthday Party.

[Fiery Armageddon]

Mr. Hilter sat at his desk, pondering the well being of the court and the king himself and staring at the equipment orders for the armed guards. Perhaps the coming winter will spell doom on the Eastern Front, and while our knees are crippled, they will send spies, or worse, stir a rebellion in the Portuguese states. Heinrich could not stand by idly anymore, he had to let the king know of the strife that lays infront of them. He rose from his desk, and marched downward, soldiers saluting him as he passed. Entering the Courtroom, the Grand Master bowed to the throne where the king sat. He then walked forward, and began conversation with the king.

"Sir, we must divert more state resources into our forces, both domestic as well as abroad. If we do not prevent Communist sympathizers from making a move within the Empire, then we could be looking at a full on rebellion within the near future, but we could also press our advantage. For winter is not here yet, therefore we should assault as much as we can, and then entrench our defenses for when winter comes. What is your thoughts, my lord?"

[The Peoples East Africa]

Sitting Down In His Solid Gold Throne, Ferdinand Relaxed, Before Tensing Up Again As Hitler Entered.

"Must We Now? If I Am To Think Straight, I Need Energy. JIMMY! JIMMY! BRING ME MY DRUGS!"

[Federal States of Xathuecia]

"Bring the King his drugs! Chop! chop!" exclaimed Tyrion entering the room with his short legs and ornate robe.

"Ah, Hitler has arrived. What a surprise. I heard just a few words but I already am putting my foot down. Invasion is the only answer! Rebels will be killed, I will have them under my foot no matter how small my feet are!"

[Sanabel]

]Slick Jimmy is walking and almost bumps into Ferdinand in the hall, then follows him to his massive throne. He quickly bows, raising the bags of coke above his head.

"Good day, my liege and homie," he says, as he stands and offers the cocana to his master.

It's the purest of his supply, tested on only the finest monkeys and communist dissenters available in Portugal. There was something wrong though...thr familiar weight of his flintlock pistol was missing! In a panic, he almost drops the nose oysters.

[Fiery Armageddon]

Sitting Down In His Solid Gold Throne, Ferdinand Relaxed, Before Tensing Up Again As Hitler Entered.

"Must We Now? If I Am To Think Straight, I Need Energy. JIMMY! JIMMY! BRING ME MY DRUGS!"

"Oh wonderful, more drugs, just what we needed." Thought Mr. Hilter, stroking the small end of his moustache upon his face. "Also, Happy upcoming birthday mein fuh-I mean my lord. Perhaps we could make citizens preform a 3 day long marc-I mean celebration?" He said to the King. As Tyrion spoke of his name, Hilter's face flooded with red. "Excuse me, what did you say? I believe you meant to refer to me by my noble family's name of 'Hilter', correct, Mr. Tyrion?" Hilter bellowed at Tyrion.

[The Peoples East Africa]

King Ferdinand held his head as his withdrawal headache set in, but then saviour in the form of a minority came. Grabbing the bag before it fell, Ferdinand snorted its contents in the space of 12 seconds.

"Good Shit. Now then, we have to invade someone do we? Alright I'll write you a blank check from my personal bank account."

[KingFerdinandFan1]

.

[Wolfmanne2]

(Image)

King Ferdinand The Great Of Portugal Got Up Out Of Bed, And Gulped Down Wine To Ease The Pain In His Groin That His Many Concubines Had Inflicted On Him. He Stumbled Out To Find His Loyal Dog Rover Waiting For Him. He Pats Him On The Head.

"Hi Doggy. Your A Good Doggy," Ferdinand says.

King Ferdinand Walks On, To His Throne Room, To Meet With His Advisors On What To Do About The War, And To Plan His Upcoming Birthday Party.

Rover was superbly proud of himself for being a good doggy, but lamented in his inability to vocally reply to this. As an alternative, he decide wag his tail from side to side as an expression of his happiness.

"RAWL!!!!!" he said, in an extremely pleased manner. He followed the King dutifully. As he plodded along, he saw Slick Jimmy and the whiff of coke made Rover slobber on a Persian rug. He sat down, staring at the bag of cocaine. He made his eyes as alluring as possible in the hope of being able to sniff some himself.

[Federal States of Xathuecia]

Sitting Down In His Solid Gold Throne, Ferdinand Relaxed, Before Tensing Up Again As Hitler Entered.

"Must We Now? If I Am To Think Straight, I Need Energy. JIMMY! JIMMY! BRING ME MY DRUGS!"

"Oh wonderful, more drugs, just what we needed." Thought Mr. Hilter, stroking the small end of his moustache upon his face. "Also, Happy upcoming birthday mein fuh-I mean my lord. Perhaps we could make citizens preform a 3 day long marc-I mean celebration?" He said to the King. As Tyrion spoke of his name, Hilter's face flooded with red. "Excuse me, what did you say? I believe you meant to refer to me by my noble family's name of 'Hilter', correct, Mr. Tyrion?" Hilter bellowed at Tyrion.

"Noble family? What is so noble about it? I have more money than all of your family combined HITLER! This is no game of thrones sir! There are only two thrones. The large one of Ferb and the smaller one of me. You will treat me with more respect I hope."

[Wolfmanne2]

"Oh wonderful, more drugs, just what we needed." Thought Mr. Hilter, stroking the small end of his moustache upon his face. "Also, Happy upcoming birthday mein fuh-I mean my lord. Perhaps we could make citizens preform a 3 day long marc-I mean celebration?" He said to the King. As Tyrion spoke of his name, Hilter's face flooded with red. "Excuse me, what did you say? I believe you meant to refer to me by my noble family's name of 'Hilter', correct, Mr. Tyrion?" Hilter bellowed at Tyrion.

"Noble family? What is so noble about it? I have more money than all of your family combined HITLER! This is no game of thrones sir! There are only two thrones. The large one of Ferb and the smaller one of me. You will treat me with more respect I hope."

Rover barks "woof" in agreement.

[The Peoples East Africa]

Sitting Down In His Solid Gold Throne, Ferdinand Relaxed, Before Tensing Up Again As Hitler Entered.

"Must We Now? If I Am To Think Straight, I Need Energy. JIMMY! JIMMY! BRING ME MY DRUGS!"

"Oh wonderful, more drugs, just what we needed." Thought Mr. Hilter, stroking the small end of his moustache upon his face. "Also, Happy upcoming birthday mein fuh-I mean my lord. Perhaps we could make citizens preform a 3 day long marc-I mean celebration?" He said to the King. As Tyrion spoke of his name, Hilter's face flooded with red. "Excuse me, what did you say? I believe you meant to refer to me by my noble family's name of 'Hilter', correct, Mr. Tyrion?" Hilter bellowed at Tyrion.

"Oh yes, that's coming up. I want a solid gold palace built in celebration of the date. Tyrion, I trust you can find the funds?"

[The Peoples East Africa]

"Noble family? What is so noble about it? I have more money than all of your family combined HITLER! This is no game of thrones sir! There are only two thrones. The large one of Ferb and the smaller one of me. You will treat me with more respect I hope."

Rover barks "woof" in agreement.

Smiling a crooked smile, Ferdinand pats his loyal dog again. "Good Doggy. Here have some of Ferdie's medicine." Ferdinand dabs some cocaine and pats it to his dogs nose.

[Federal States of Xathuecia]

"Oh wonderful, more drugs, just what we needed." Thought Mr. Hilter, stroking the small end of his moustache upon his face. "Also, Happy upcoming birthday mein fuh-I mean my lord. Perhaps we could make citizens preform a 3 day long marc-I mean celebration?" He said to the King. As Tyrion spoke of his name, Hilter's face flooded with red. "Excuse me, what did you say? I believe you meant to refer to me by my noble family's name of 'Hilter', correct, Mr. Tyrion?" Hilter bellowed at Tyrion.

"Oh yes, that's coming up. I want a solid gold palace built in celebration of the date. Tyrion, I trust you can find the funds?"

"Yes my king. A snow themed party perhaps? I know a great party planner, Jon Snow, though he can often drift off. Don't worry though, he always comes back."

[Sanabel]

"Listen, y'all. We need to beat Russia. But more importantly, we need to clone me 1 million times using some of our war money. The Tocharian race needs to be reborn."

He snorts some coke. "Yes this is good shit. Tocharian recipe. Think of the benefits."

He looks around the room for his pistol. How could he have lost it? He will need it for use in battle!

[The Peoples East Africa]

"Oh yes, that's coming up. I want a solid gold palace built in celebration of the date. Tyrion, I trust you can find the funds?"

"Yes my king. A snow themed party perhaps? I know a great party planner, Jon Snow, though he can often drift off. Don't worry though, he always comes back."

"Snow is for gays. I want a fire themed one! With lots of naked ladies, who breath fire!"

[The Peoples East Africa]

"Listen, y'all. We need to beat Russia. But more importantly, we need to clone me 1 million times using some of our war money. The Tocharian race needs to be reborn."

He snorts some coke. "Yes this is good shit. Tocharian recipe. Think of the benefits."

He looks around the room for his pistol. How could he have lost it? He will need it for use in battle!

(Image)

"I agree my best friend in the world. We shall clone them tomorrow night."

[Wolfmanne2]

Rover barks "woof" in agreement.

Smiling a crooked smile, Ferdinand pats his loyal dog again. "Good Doggy. Here have some of Ferdie's medicine." Ferdinand dabs some cocaine and pats it to his dogs nose.

The warm snow of excitement, as Rover came to refer it to as, was dusted on his nose. He started sniffing in a hasty yet controlled fashion. Rover felt like a King only lesser to that of his master Ferdinand. He started darting across the room, in search of his squeaky toy to chew upon whilst he enjoyed the high.

[Sanabel]

"Listen, y'all. We need to beat Russia. But more importantly, we need to clone me 1 million times using some of our war money. The Tocharian race needs to be reborn."

He snorts some coke. "Yes this is good shit. Tocharian recipe. Think of the benefits."

He looks around the room for his pistol. How could he have lost it? He will need it for use in battle!

(Image)

"I agree my best friend in the world. We shall clone them tomorrow night."

"No. We will do it today. I'm angry and want it now. I know you're my master, but I've been helping you take over Europe, the least you could do is help me."

He looks down and realizes his pistol was in his hand. Thank goodness.

[Federal States of Xathuecia]

"Yes my king. A snow themed party perhaps? I know a great party planner, Jon Snow, though he can often drift off. Don't worry though, he always comes back."

"Snow is for gays. I want a fire themed one! With lots of naked ladies, who breath fire!"

"Then you need Daenerys Targaryen. She knows many women and is all about fire & dragons."

[The Peoples East Africa]

"I agree my best friend in the world. We shall clone them tomorrow night."

"No. We will do it today. I'm angry and want it now. I know you're my master, but I've been helping you take over Europe, the least you could do is help me."

He looks down and realizes his pistol was in his hand. Thank goodness.

Ferdinand snorts another load. "2 more bags of this shit and you have a deal."

[The Peoples East Africa]

"Snow is for gays. I want a fire themed one! With lots of naked ladies, who breath fire!"

"Then you need Daenerys Targaryen. She knows many women and is all about fire & dragons."

"Ooh yes. I hear she's 13, nice and fertile, is she married, or is she already one of my wives."