You're a powerful alien species, judging humanity. Verdict?

[Eleanor Ritas]

You relax on the bridge of the Transpatial Matrix, smoking something you got off a renegade nano-mass sex worker in the Hauer System. Your adjutant makes his report.

"Okay, so, they've been living in deterrent of mutual destruction for generations, they continue to fight mass genocidal wars, some of them strap explosives to themselves and run into groups of the others to kill as many as they can. Some of their wealthiest societies leave their mentally ill to live off garbage and begging in the streets. Their physicists, once they discover that the Higgs Field is metastable, will be able to conceive, and in less than three generations build, a device that could destroy this galaxy before we could array the requisite countermeasures to stop it."

"That it?" you reply.

"Their porn is excellent and voluminous. Well, quality is always a spectrum but their diversity and innovation are unparalleled. And their music is good. Some of them are honestly trying quite hard."

"Our highest law says we can not help them or teach them. We can either destroy them xor leave them be."

"Then what is your judgment, Commander Ennesjee?"



As for me, I'd spare us. Then I'd go back and work to political change the law that we have to either destroy them xor leave them be. It's a dumb law.

[United Marxist Nations]

I would just show up and make shit up about the outside universe just to see if they believe me.

[The Pentarchy]

Download all the porn and leave. Then attempt to go get rid of that stupid Prime Directive thing so we are not conquered by smarter people and their legions of assimilated alien barbarians.
So pretty much what you, the OP, said except also stealing all the porn (ALL THE PORN!).

If the stupid law is removed, come back and start prepping Earth for integration into the galactic community. And steal more porn.

[Eleanor Ritas]

Download all the porn and leave. Then attempt to go get rid of that stupid Prime Directive thing so we are not conquered by smarter people and their legions of assimilated alien barbarians.
So pretty much what you, the OP, said except also stealing all the porn (ALL THE PORN!).

I wonder if some part of Arthur C. Clarke considered that monolith, and thought "Quantum Entanglement Porn Repeater".

[Mike the Progressive]

Steal their land and resources. Move them to reservations. Try to 'alienize" them. Fail. Give them money for health and education. Let them build interplanetary casinos. Etc.

[The Pentarchy]

Download all the porn and leave. Then attempt to go get rid of that stupid Prime Directive thing so we are not conquered by smarter people and their legions of assimilated alien barbarians.
So pretty much what you, the OP, said except also stealing all the porn (ALL THE PORN!).

I wonder if some part of Arthur C. Clarke considered that monolith, and thought "Quantum Entanglement Porn Repeater".

For all we know, pornography is the galactic currency. In which case it is a financial imperative for us to produce as much as possible. This may be why they have not contacted us: The introduction of Earth's massive pornography network, called the 'World Wide Web', would surely disrupt the galactic economy and cause mass pornflation.

Steal their land and resources. Move them to reservations. Try to 'alienize" them. Fail. Give them money for health and education. Let them build interplanetary casinos. Etc.

Mike the Progressive for Galactic Overlord!

[The Novakian Empire]

"Adjundant,Inform engineering to make preperations to enter earth's atmosphere,Let's attempt to make contact...Perhaps our prescence will get the ball rolling for their transformation to a society like us,Although,Perhaps we should be careful..They are known for being quite agressive."
"Aye sir."

[Senkaku]

Play intergalactic billiards with their star system and pot them into a black hole.

[Eleanor Ritas]

Steal their land and resources. Move them to reservations. Try to 'alienize" them. Fail. Give them money for health and education. Let them build interplanetary casinos. Etc.

Heehee.

"Good news, Mr. Secretary General! They want to sign a treaty with us!"

[Sebtopiaris]

Kill it with fire.

[United Marxist Nations]

"Adjundant,Inform engineering to make preperations to enter earth's atmosphere,Let's attempt to make contact...Perhaps our prescence will get the ball rolling for their transformation to a society like us,Although,Perhaps we should be careful..They are known for being quite agressive."
"Aye sir."

Meanwhile, in the Kamchatka in the year 1987...

Командующий Белов, мы обнаружения радар аномалия семьдесят километров от Петропавловска-Камчатского авиабазы. Это, похоже, движется очень быстро в нашем направлении и отказался от контакта. Это может бытьамериканский самолет-шпион. Введенное в огонь?

[Eleanor Ritas]

I wonder if some part of Arthur C. Clarke considered that monolith, and thought "Quantum Entanglement Porn Repeater".

For all we know, pornography is the galactic currency. In which case it is a financial imperative for us to produce as much as possible. This may be why they have not contacted us: The introduction of Earth's massive pornography network, called the 'World Wide Web', would surely disrupt the galactic economy and cause mass pornflation.

Steal their land and resources. Move them to reservations. Try to 'alienize" them. Fail. Give them money for health and education. Let them build interplanetary casinos. Etc.

Mike the Progressive for Galactic Overlord!

Then it turns out we were developed in this small out of the way galaxy as a secret project by a greedy corporation that controls universal porn, but we create so much that we could freely provide it to the galaxy (minus content provider costs and reasonable profits reflective of the regulatory environment and artistic demands of the industry).

[Eleanor Ritas]

Play intergalactic billiards with their star system and pot them into a black hole.

What swung your decision that way?

[The Orson Empire]

You relax on the bridge of the Transpatial Matrix, smoking something you got off a renegade nano-mass sex worker in the Hauer System. Your adjutant makes his report.

"Okay, so, they've been living in deterrent of mutual destruction for generations, they continue to fight mass genocidal wars, some of them strap explosives to themselves and run into groups of the others to kill as many as they can. Some of their wealthiest societies leave their mentally ill to live off garbage and begging in the streets. Their physicists, once they discover that the Higgs Field is metastable, will be able to conceive, and in less than three generations build, a device that could destroy this galaxy before we could array the requisite countermeasures to stop it."

"That it?" you reply.

"Their porn is excellent and voluminous. Well, quality is always a spectrum but their diversity and innovation are unparalleled. And their music is good. Some of them are honestly trying quite hard."

"Our highest law says we can not help them or teach them. We can either destroy them xor leave them be."

"Then what is your judgment, Commander Ennesjee?"



As for me, I'd spare us. Then I'd go back and work to political change the law that we have to either destroy them xor leave them be. It's a dumb law.

Dude...this actually sounds like a good idea for an RP.

[United Marxist Nations]

You relax on the bridge of the Transpatial Matrix, smoking something you got off a renegade nano-mass sex worker in the Hauer System. Your adjutant makes his report.

"Okay, so, they've been living in deterrent of mutual destruction for generations, they continue to fight mass genocidal wars, some of them strap explosives to themselves and run into groups of the others to kill as many as they can. Some of their wealthiest societies leave their mentally ill to live off garbage and begging in the streets. Their physicists, once they discover that the Higgs Field is metastable, will be able to conceive, and in less than three generations build, a device that could destroy this galaxy before we could array the requisite countermeasures to stop it."

"That it?" you reply.

"Their porn is excellent and voluminous. Well, quality is always a spectrum but their diversity and innovation are unparalleled. And their music is good. Some of them are honestly trying quite hard."

"Our highest law says we can not help them or teach them. We can either destroy them xor leave them be."

"Then what is your judgment, Commander Ennesjee?"



As for me, I'd spare us. Then I'd go back and work to political change the law that we have to either destroy them xor leave them be. It's a dumb law.

Dude...this actually sounds like a good idea for an RP.

Post it, I'd probably join.

[Kalifati Arab shqiptar]

I would underestimate the human's force and fall in their trap. Maybe it was the fault of all of those politicians promising peace in live TV when they were preparing for war.

[Entre Rios]

Honesly, for all our advancement we're still apes at heart and it shows in the fact we still fight petty wars for resource control.

If I were an alien species reviewing earth's progress, I'd write, "Still evolving." Then quietly leave.

[Mandicoria]

I would pull off a Spore, toss a Monolith down (that manages to have them pop up technologically with no explanation) then hope that they can function properly in the intergalactic community. If they don't, then they'll be destroyed. (Since we'll still be eons ahead) If they do, they'll be our brethren.

[Eleanor Ritas]

Honesly, for all our advancement we're still apes at heart and it shows in the fact we still fight petty wars for resource control.

If I were an alien species reviewing earth's progress, I'd write, "Still evolving." Then quietly leave.

Suppose your adjutant is required by regulation to note that within three generations, the species will have the ability to active a device that would destroy the Milky Way before intelligence in other galaxies could stop the effect?

And this could happen before you could come back to stop it.

[United Marxist Nations]

Honesly, for all our advancement we're still apes at heart and it shows in the fact we still fight petty wars for resource control.

If I were an alien species reviewing earth's progress, I'd write, "Still evolving." Then quietly leave.

You assume that that isn't also a trait of more advanced civilization; there is no reason to think that war is not common to interstellar civilizations as well.

[Furry Alairia and Algeria]

Kill them all, leave the animals.

[United Marxist Nations]

Kill them all, leave the animals.

How would you do one without doing the other?

[Entre Rios]

Honesly, for all our advancement we're still apes at heart and it shows in the fact we still fight petty wars for resource control.

If I were an alien species reviewing earth's progress, I'd write, "Still evolving." Then quietly leave.

Suppose your adjutant is required by regulation to note that within three generations, the species will have the ability to active a device that would destroy the Milky Way before intelligence in other galaxies could stop the effect?

And this could happen before you could come back to stop it.

In that case, I'm thinking intervention: lessons to be taught, etc.

[The Pentarchy]

Honesly, for all our advancement we're still apes at heart and it shows in the fact we still fight petty wars for resource control.

If I were an alien species reviewing earth's progress, I'd write, "Still evolving." Then quietly leave.

You assume that that isn't also a trait of more advanced civilization; there is no reason to think that war is not common to interstellar civilizations as well.

I would state that a society would have to be quite war-capable to survive to the point of being interstellar. Otherwise, a more militant civilization (from their world or another world) would have conquered them. They might not be actively aggressive in the present, but they would definitely have a history of war and an ability to wage it.

Kill them all, leave the animals.

I support this reaction only if it means that rats, by taking over the human laboratories, become the new dominant species on Earth.

[Senkaku]

Play intergalactic billiards with their star system and pot them into a black hole.

What swung your decision that way?

Douglas Adams suggested it once, and if I were an extremely powerful alien it sounds like the kind of thing that might be fun once in a while.


I'd hope to get more than ten points out of them, though.