UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
JANUARY, 2016
Capitol Building, Washington DC
As the year 2016 arrives in the United States, thousands of Americans cheer and celebrate for their country. Fireworks explode all over the nation, fighter jets blast over Washington, and a massive crowd gathers at the Capitol Building to hear the newly inaugurated President Altman speak.
President Andrew Altman, a young 35 year old Marine Veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan and member of the Democratic Party stepped up to the podium as patriotic music played. American flags waved in the wind and smaller ones were waved by those in the crowd. President Altman smiled and waved. He was very charismatic and informal, and only wore a button up shirt and jeans. He cleared his throat and began to address the nation, and the world. Everyone was watching him...
"Good afternoon, America. It's a great day to be an American, don't you think? Before I begin the rambling you came to hear, I'm going to ask you a question: do you love your nation? Before you answer, I want you to understand that there is a very fine line between Government, and a nation as a whole. You can hate the Government and still love your nation, and in all of the years I've been in the Marine Corps and the Political Aspect of American Society, I've met people that don't understand that. Americans, just like you and I, who blame the United States for decisions made by the Government. But this isn't seen here nearly as much as it is by people of other countries. Al~Queada, the Taliban, ISIS, they attack us, they punish our people, YOU, for decisions made by the Government. That isn't fair. But what's even more ridiculous and unfair is the fact that you hardly have any say in what the Government does! You get punished for a Government that no longer is for the people, but their own greed and narcissism, that has completely sucked in all basic logic in this country! I've have people come up and ask me 'Why do you think America is the greatest country in the world?'... and you know what I say? It's not. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore. And I know by now, millions of people are already complaining about what I just said but you know what, I don't care. I'm a Liberal, and I nearly lost this campaign. You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fucking smart, how come they lose so goddamn always?"
President Altman turned to his former competitor, Mitt Romney, who'd used Patriotism and overuse of American Freedom in his campaign.
"And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell citizens that America is so star-spangled awesome that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom. Japan has freedom. The UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom! So, 207 sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom. Oh yeah, and to all of those over-patriotic citizens out there, there’s some things you should know. One of them is: there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined, 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a teacher or a student or any individual person, but this is, regardless, the worst period generation period ever period, so when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!".
The world went silent watching sweat bead on his forehead.
"...It sure used to be… We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reason. We passed laws, struck down laws, for moral reason. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest. We built great, big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists AND the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easy. We were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed… by great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore...".
Silence everywhere in America. No Americans, nor any foreign nation would expect an American to be that truthful about his own nation, yet so negative.
"It can be... we can make it the greatest country in the world again... but only if we stand together as a nation. I'm not talking about an act of war that rallies us for war and makes us want to spill blood... I mean we strap on a pair, get out there, and do our part! This doesn't only go to the working class or even the lower class, but businesses, politicians whether democratic or republican, the goddamn wealthy! Stop sitting on all your goddamn money, living the good life with hardly any taxes. Do your part! Stop letting greed cloud your morales... because if we don't whip up and fast... America will fall... We already are, and in another generation, this country will be nothing! Don't let that happen! You need to do your part, you need to bust your balls to turn this country around. I will, and I can only ask you to do the same. Because if you do, the reward will be true peace, true democracy, and true happiness... thank you".
After a long moment of silence, a gradual applause began, and then cheering. People cheered, waved American flags, called out his name... President Altman was going to change America.
