World Cup 60: RP Thread

[Cotdelapoms]

(Two old women are counting ballots at the Elections Cap Nordique Office)

"This one appears to be for Daigle, but the checkmark goes just out of the box and into another one- do we count that?"

"No."

"Are you sure, clearly the bulk of the ink on the ballot is in the box for Daigle, it just so happens that a tiny bit of it wound up in another box."

"No. Discard it."

"Positive? My judgment is to suggest that this is a Daigle vote."

"We can't go around using our judgment to determine the fate of this nation, otherwise we wouldn't even let the damn hippies into government."

"Our job is to use our judgment to determine the fate of this nation, we just cannot use our bias..."

"Bias?! Who said anything about bias, damn hippies don't know the difference between the facts and their opinions."

"I am pretty sure this is a Daigle ballot."

"It's outside of the box, just like all the damn foreigners who keep showing up around here!"

"I'm just going to count it."

"Fine, but if some Mytanar thug beats you up and steals your pocketbook on your way home, it's because you let that Daigle ballot through."

[Western cuba]

Havana Tribute

The #1 Newspaper in Western Cuba

Tonight is the Night!

Jorge Ramirez

Throughout all troubles in life, such as the current economic crisis going on in Western Cuba. Their is always something that can get us through those troubles. One of those things are sports. The National Soccer Team played unbelievable last night against Waspeaters. It was a proud night to be Western Cuba, even though rumors had surfaced that Adrian Soto may resign from office.

There were no signs of those rumors though in Trinidad Municipal Stadium yesterday. 30,000 fans packed inside the stadium along with tens of thousands of fans who stood outside the stadium, partied and cheered on their team. It was a historic night for soccer in Western Cuba, and tonight might be the start of something even bigger.

Western Cuba not only beat Waspeaters, they demolished them. By the end of the game the scoreline was 5-0. Mendoza had the best game of his international career. All five goals were scored by Mendoza. The five goals are the most scored in history by a single Western Cuban player in an international match.

The first goal of the game was a simple shot that went in the back of the net. By the time of Mendoza's third goal, which marked his hat trick, everyone knew something special was happening.

In the 67th minute Mendoza was score on a header off a corner kick. That would be his fourth goal of the game, this tied his record for most goals scored in a game. By the time of his fourth goal, Trinidad Municipal Stadium seemed like it was about to explode. Mendoza would go even bigger though.

"I wasn't expecting what would happen late in the game", comments Mendoza. "I thought Coach Markin was going to pull me after my fourth goal."

What came five minutes later was a shock to all of us, even Mendoza as he just commented. In fact the goal Mendoza scored brought him to tears along with the rest of us watching it.

Konstantin Yevtushenko was racing with the ball along the left side of the soccer pitch. Once he reached the goal line he set up a cross towards the back of the net. It was nowhere near a perfect cross but Mendoza somehow managed to turn around, do a bicycle and hit it in the upper ninety of the net.

History had been made at Trinidad Municipal Stadium. "When I got that fifth goal I was speechless, the whole thing brought me to tears", comments a very emotional Mendoza after the game.

For many countries this was just a good game, especially against a team such as Waspeaters. However the match was more than a game to Western Cuba, and even more for Mendoza. It was a symbol of how far Western Cuba has reached throughout its beginning in soccer. And tonight for the first time ever, Western Cuba might advance out of the group stage.

A win or a draw only secures a spot in the pods, which Western Cuba will have to win two straight games in order to qualify for the World Cup. The excitement of advancing to the pods is almost enough for many fans in Western Cuba.

Before we fully celebrate though we still have one more match. Western Cuba will have to travel to the Equestrian States in order to advance. The first match against them ended with a draw, however Coach Markin is expecting much more out of his team this time around.

"The momentum is ours. This is our moment, I have full confidence that we will win this game", comments Markin in a press conference upon arriving at the Equestrian States.

Not only is Western Cuba heading to Equestrian States with a win, they have also been informed of some very great news. A spot in the Soccer Hall of Fame has opened up for Western Cuba. The only trouble is who will fill this? Edgardo Mendoza is being considered, however though Mendoza has announced that he will not enter the hall until he is properly retired. So this might sound crazy, but Western Cuba's spot may remain empty for a few more years.

But instead of focusing on the Hall of Fame we have bigger things at least for tonight. Don't even think about the Cup of Harmony and a possible run for Western Cuba. We are looking for bigger things! Don't be square and watch the game on WCSN tonight.

Current Standings

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Erathore                             13   10   2   1    27   15  +12    32 Q
2 Western Cuba                         13    6   6   1    26   12  +14    24
3 Equestrian States                    13    6   4   3    27   19   +8    22
4 Antoletia                            13    5   6   2    14    8   +6    21
5 Sanian Confederacy                   13    5   4   4    10   10    0    19 E
6 Earent                               13    2   6   5    11   16   −5    12 E
7 Enslavia                             13    2   3   8    14   21   −7     9 E
8 Waspeaters                           13    0   1  12     8   36  −28     1 E

Recap of Every Match Day
Matchday One: Western Cuba 0, Antoletia 0
Matchday Two: Western Cuba 1, Enslavia 0
Matchday Three: Western Cuba 3, Earent 3
Matchday Four: Western Cuba 0, Sanian Confederacy 0
Matchday Five: Western Cuba 4, Erathore 2
Matchday Six: Western Cuba 3, Waspeaters 0
Matchday Seven: Western Cuba 2, Equestrian States 2
Matchday Eight: Western Cuba 2, Antoletia 0
Matchday Nine: Western Cuba 4, Enslavia 2
Matchday Ten: Western Cuba 1, Earent 1
Matchday Eleven: Sanian Confederacy 1, Western Cuba 0
Matchday Twelve: Western Cuba 1, Erathore 1
Matchday Thirteen: Western Cuba 5, Waspeaters 0

To Advance...
Win/Draw against Equestrian States

[Equatorial Sarmen]

Equatorial Sarmen were officially out a long time ago, so all they could do was play for pride.
Today Sarmen's luck didn't appear after a 4-2 beating by the Allamunnic States, the very same Sarmenian side who beat the Allamunnic side 4-2 last time these two teams met. In other results, who was going through in Group 14 was decided. With a Citiz loss, Ko-oren were confirmed as the playoff team, while Bears Armed's 5-2 thrashing of Ko-oren confirmed automatic qualification to the Babbage Islands and Saugeais for them. So Sarmen's chances of getting to the finals have gone, thanks to picking up only twelve points from as many games. There is not even a chance of them rising above their current 6th place. You will only hear from me one more time this world cup, and then if we elect to go on to the next world cup you might be hearing from me again, but the main focus is the pride that Sarmen can play for. To be honest, I never expected the Terminators to do this well, so they should be proud of themselves. A job well done lads, we are all proud of you for doing so well.
The Sarmenian players will still play games like any other, where they still could qualify. Now the question is, what place will they finish in this whirlwind we call the World Cup...

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Did he still care, Juan Tzimisces asked himself.

1-0 to Orlkjestad with five minutes left in a match that could have eliminated the Holy Empire from the World Cup for the first time in any living mundy's memory, and he seriously doubted it, no matter what Abendsen had claimed in that frankly odd meeting involving the I Ching.

After all, this Cup was rapidly turning into a graveyard for legends, what with the Vanorians faltering, and the returned Starblaydi squad never getting out of first gear (he would resist telling Simeone 'I told you so'). At this rate there would be a lot of disappointed neutrals when the tournament proper rolled around.

But did Tzimisces even care anymore?

He felt so tired... so weary... as if the personification of lethargy had strapped him down to a chair and zapped him with a boredom ray...

(Tzimisces had met a personification of lethargy once, but the meeting hadn't gone well - the other party couldn't be bothered starting a conversation; he owned a boredom ray too, but had never actually used it).

But then, with five minutes left between liberation from the endless cycle of qualification, freedom from the constant need to keep trying, some glimmer of competitive instinct returned.

As Orlkjestad made a late substitution, taking a forward off for a defender, Tzimisces spotted a tactical gap. He shouted out to the pitch, ordered Addison Doug and Dr Bloodmoney to swap positions, and then... and then....

In later years, those few neutrals who had been watching one of the key clashes at the conclusion of World Cup 60 Group 4 qualification said it had been magic. Others said it was just a display of exquisite skill by an apparently paranoid Bruno Bluthgeld, who refused to pass the ball to any of his teammates for those last five minutes. Some muttered about seeing giant talking rats and strange homunculi prowling the Imperial Hippodrome.

Whatever the cause, whatever the reason, when the final whistle blew, Bluthgeld had scored two in those last five minutes, the Holy Empire had won the match, and - despite everything that had gone horribly wrong during the qualification campaign - they were second in the table. How Dr Bloodmoney had managed to sneak that last-gasp free-kick around the wall and into the visiting net almost seemed to defy physics.

Maybe it had been magic after all.

Maybe it hadn't.

Maybe Tzimisces still cared after all.

Only one way to find out.

He belatedly looked at the playoff format, and then suddenly realised who the Empire's likely opponents would be - if the final day results didn't spring yet another surprise (and God knows there'd been enough this time around).

Tzimisces laughed.

Clearly, he would need to have a chat with the Patriarch.

[Darmen]

After third law suit, Nena finally wins, sorta

Following a second court hearing in the Gregory Nena vs. Whitecaps Case, Federal District County Judge Kuzma Thorburn partialy overturned Judge Glædwine Klerks' decision of the previous day. Nena will be allowed to play for Scott City FC, but not until the regular season of the Darmeni Premier League has finished. The third lawsuit in the disagreement between Nena and the Whitecaps was filed by the Whitecaps, who were detirmined to retain the services, or at least block Nena from going to Scott City FC until after the season, were concerned about wether a "retirement" by Nena would negate Judge Klerks' ruling.

Let us just say that they didn't get what they wanted.

Judge Thorburn noted that Nena had signed three contracts when he came to the Whitecaps from Mangolana several seasons ago. Each one was almost entirely identical to the other, except for a few key changes. Contract A stated that Nena had two years left on his contract with the Whitecaps, but Nena claimed he had only one. The Whitecaps office even confirmed this, but later retracted their confirmation, saying that their lawyers were still looking things over. Contract B included a buy out clause for the final year of the contract, which Nena had wanted to use, but was unable to do so, after Judge Klerks' decision. Contract C included a clause forcing Nena to stay for the entirety of his contract.

Nena and his agent, Gorden Callst, claimed that they had signed all three contracts at the same time, and had been led to believe by the Whitecaps that the contracts were exactly the same. Callst said, "We signed all three contracts, with the understanding that one would be sent to the Darmeni Soccer Federation, one would be kept by the Whitecaps, and one would be kept by my client."

Judge Thorburn declared all three contracts to be illigitamate. He also called for the Whitecaps to pay all court related costs, and to appear in court the next day to detirmine an exact amount to be paid by the Whitecaps directly to Nena for damages. He did however rule that Nena would not be allowed to play in any Darmeni Premier League matches, stating that it was just "fair for all involved." It is reported that Nena will attend Scott City FC's practice starting on Friday, just before the DPL kicks off their sixth season. The Whitecaps are expected to appeal the decision, which would then advance to the Fourth District Court.

Dan Baker scores late First Half goal to put Darmen into second place in Group Eighteen

Dan Baker's 44th minute goal sent Darmen ahead of West Zirconia in the Group Eighteen. The goal sent Darmeni fans into a frenzy, with several hundred rushing the pitch. The match had to be suspended as security tried to clear the pitch, but were unable to do so. Within about fifteen minutes of Kytlerian Referee Stanley Hampstead's decision to suspend the match, soldiers of Company B, 14th Mechanized Infantry Regiment arrived at the stadium, and using brute force were able to either put fans back in their seats, or in jail. The teams were brought out of the dressing room, but were sent back in not long thereafter, as Hampstead blew his whistle for halftime.

The Second Half was all defense, with Charm Vue, Dustin Nguyen, and Mikael Adan taking the spotlight. Keeping the Meerkats strikers far away from goal, the back three of the All Greens were all named men of the match by Manager Tim O'Donahaue. "They played extremely well," he said in the post match interview, "they really deserve to all be recognized."

With the one goal victory secured against West Zirconia, Darmen must now turn their attention to their final match against Royalsoldiers. The match is on the road, but O'Donahaue dismissed that, saying, "We're at a point in this team's histroy where going on the road doesn't make a difference to us." While the All Greens will obviously be hoping for a win and three points, the team will know what needs to be done, as they will no doubt be kept up to date by their team mates on the bench on what is happening in the West Zirconia versus Tales match.

The Meerkats must win if they have any hope of advancing, but O'Donahaue says that he's not about to go all out in their attempt to qualify for just the playoffs. "Obviously if we hear that they're down by like four goals, and we're winning or at the very least tied, we'll make some substitutions and get our key players out of the match. Should they be tied in the match, we'll keep our players in, not going to put it to chance."

@₁₁₉Kiryu-shi W 2-0
Starting XI: T. Osborne, M. Adan, C. Vue, T. Lalas, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, J. Zakuani, B. Faulkner, G. Pele
Goals: B. Faulkner 62', 73'
Assists: T. T. Lee 62'

vs.₁₈Cafundéu L 0-1
Starting XI: T. Osborne, M. Adan, D. Nguyen, C. Vue, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, J. Gibbons, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: None
Assists: None

@_URFarfadillis W 2-1
Starting XI: K. Siesman, C. Vue, S. Rydzik, A. Sikula, D. Lipari, L. Cormio, Z. Preston, T. T. Lee, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, S. Autitore
Goals: G. Turko 43', T. T. Lee 79'
Assists: L. Cormio 43', 79'

@₂₈₈Camerania W 3-0
Starting XI: T. Osborne, D. Nguyen(T. Sinapati 65'), C. Vue, O. Findley, C. Ramirez, L. Cormio(N. Salapu 65'), Z. Preston, T. T. Lee, G. Turko, D. Baker(S. Whale 73'), R. Gregio
Goals: R. Gregio 10', Z. Preston 71', T. T. Lee 90'+1
Assists: G. Turko 10', 71', L. Cormio 90'+1

vs._URTales D 0-0
Starting XI: T. Daniels, T. Goodwin, M. Flemer, J. Garza, M. Molesi, S. Nystizor, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, J. Son, C. Hooper, A. McKay
Goals: None
Assists: None

@₇₆West Zirconia L 2-4
Starting XI: T. Osborne, M. Adan, C. Vue, D. Sheen (D. Nguyen HT), A. Judkins, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, F. Lyons the XXIst, B. Faulkner, N. Dittman (R. Gregio 39')
Goals: T. T. Lee 5', B. Faulkner 8'
Assists: L. Cormio 5', T. Osborne 8'
Red Card: F. Lyons the XXIst 78'

vs.₂₀₇Royalsoldiers W 1-0
Starting XI: T. Osborne, M. Adan(S. Rydzik 67'), C. Vue, D. Nguyen, D. Beasley, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: T. T. Lee 82'
Red Card: C. Vue 67'
Injury: M.Adan 67' Twisted Ankle

vs.₁₁₉Kiryu-shi W 4-2
Starting XI: K. Siesman, D. Nguyen, S. Rydzik, T. Lalas, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee(J. Gibbons 70'), Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio, D. Baker
Goals: B. Faulkner 18', 47', Preston 42', L. Cormio 88'
Assists: T.T. Lee 18', 42', 47', J. Gibbons 88'
Yellow Cards: T. Lalas 56'

@₁₈Cafundéu L 2-3
Starting XI: T. Osborne, C. Vue(S. Rydzik 69'), M. Adan, D. Nguyen, J. Gibbons(D. Beasley 78'), L. Cormio, Z. Preston, T. T. Lee, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: B. Faulkner 23', T. T. Lee 42'
Assists L. Cormio 23', G. Turko 42'
Yellow Cards: J. Gibbons 72'

vs._URFarfadillis W 1-0
Starting XI: T. Osborne, S. Rydzik, C. Vue, M. Adan, D. Nguyen, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: T. T. Lee 68'
Assists: Z. Preston 68'
Yellow Cards: S. Rydzik 34', G. Turko 67'

vs.₂₈₈Camerania L 1-3
Starting XI: K. Siesman, C. Vue, M. Adan, D. Nguyen, J. Gibbons, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: T. T. Lee 78'
Assists: J. Gibbons 78'
Yellow Cards: R. Gregio 21'

@_URTales D 3-3
Starting XI: T. Osborne, C. Vue, M. Adan, D. Nguyen, A. Gibbons, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio
Goals: B. Faulkner 39', 78', L. Cormio 45'
Assists: T. T. Lee 39', C. Vue 45', Z. Preston 78'

vs.₇₆West Zirconia W 1-0
Starting XI: T. Osborne, C. Vue, M. Adan, D. Nguyen, L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko, B. Faulkner, R. Gregio, D. Baker
Goals: D. Baker 44'
Yellow Cards: R. Gregio 13'

Player       M  G  A  Y R
T. T. Lee    13 6  5  0 0
Z. Preston   13 2  2  0 0
L. Cormio    12 2  5  0 0
B. Faulkner  11 8  0  0 0
G. Turko     11 1  3  1 0
C. Vue       11 0  0  0 1
T. Osborne   9  0  1  0 0
R. Gregio    9  1  0  2 0
M. Adan      9  0  0  0 0
D. Nguyen    9  0  0  0 0
S. Rydzik    5  0  0  1 0
J. Gibbons   4  0  1  1 0
D. Baker     3  1  0  0 0
K. Siesman   3  0  0  0 0
T. Lalas     2  0  0  1 0
D. Beasley   2  0  0  0 0
F. Lyons XXI 1  0  0  0 1
J. Zakuani   1  0  0  0 0
G. Pele      1  0  0  0 0
A. Sikula    1  0  0  0 0
D. Lipari    1  0  0  0 0
S. Autitore  1  0  0  0 0
T. Sinapati  1  0  0  0 0
O. Findley   1  0  0  0 0
C. Ramirez   1  0  0  0 0
N. Salapu    1  0  0  0 0
S. Whale     1  0  0  0 0
T. Daniels   1  0  0  0 0
T. Goodwin   1  0  0  0 0
M. Flemer    1  0  0  0 0
J. Garza     1  0  0  0 0
M. Molesi    1  0  0  0 0
S. Nystizor  1  0  0  0 0
J. Son       1  0  0  0 0
C. Hooper    1  0  0  0 0
A. McKay     1  0  0  0 0
D. Sheen     1  0  0  0 0
A. Judkins   1  0  0  0 0
N. Dittman   1  0  0  0 0
A. Gibbons   1  0  0  0 0
Total        13 22 19 6 2

3-4-3 Formation
GK: K. Siesman
DEF: C. Vue, M. Adan, D. Nguyen
MID: L. Cormio, T. T. Lee, Z. Preston, G. Turko
FOR: B. Faulkner, R. Gregio, D. Baker

Darmen will wear their normal away kits

[The Archregimancy]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

HOLY SYNOD THREATENS TO ANATHEMATISE MAPLETISH
Group Rival's Failure Leaves Archregimancy in Playoff Spot Despite Best Efforts Against Virabia

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

A scandalised Holy Synod was tonight threatening to anathematise the entire Mapletish Football Association following Mapletish's 2-1 home loss to group 3 leaders Gyatso-kai.

"We thought they'd at least draw, or maybe even win" said a senior archimandrite on learning of Pre Kryse's 62nd-minute winner for the visitors. "I mean, it's absolutely ridiculous - according to this report Mapletish had 68% of the possession, and Gyatso-kai still had more shots on target. These Mapletish forwards couldn't score in a free brothel in Jeruselem. If I was in charge of the Mapletish Association, this Muain Newtons character would have been sacked weeks ago."

The result was particularly disappointing to the Archregimancy squad as they had done everything within their power to avoid beating Virabia, and therefore hand the initiative to Mapletish and Gyatso-kai in the hunt for qualification, in an outstanding display of Christian charity and monastic humility.

After a brace each from Fr. Euthymius and Fr. Stephen had given the Archregimancy a 4-0 lead against a clearly outmatched Virabia side, Fr. David had pulled Fr. Dodo from goal, placing the newly humble and repentant Fr. Laurence (previously known as 'MC Monky L-Man') in goal while placing substitute goalkeeper Fr. Hilarion on the pitch as the second forward.

Ordered to let as many Virabia shots on goal score as possible, Fr. Laurence duly obliged, including scoring two own goals - the last scored in the second minute of injury time when, disgusted at the inability of the opposition to come anywhere near his goal, Fr Laurence stopped another wayward shot from crossing the line for a goalkick and walked it into his own net.

Upon hearing the result from Mapletish, there was much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments at the inability of their chief opponents for a playoff spot to take advantage. "If only I had scored a third own goal" said Fr. Laurence after the match "but then I didn't want to make our desire for humbling non-qualification seem that obvious."

The team have nonetheless been cheered at the news that their likely playoff opponents, should they finish above Mapletish despite their best efforts, will be the Holy Empire. "That's a match they can't possibly win - and which the Patriarch himself will likely order them to lose" said one source close to the team. "Which, quite frankly, will come as a relief."

[Sargossa]

The Island Chronicle


Corsairs' Sail Through


Two years ago there were hysterical scenes in Soluca after the thrilling 3 - 2 playoff win over Valladares that took Sargossa to their first World Cup since the fifty second edition of the tournament. This time around in Delgadopolis the celebrations were much more matter-of-fact as Brutušam Erassi's side secured a trip to The Babbage Islands and Saugeais with relative ease and a game to spare.

It never looked like the trickiest of groups from the start but even the most optimistic of supporters didn't foresee the alarming dip in form suffered by top seeds and World Cup semi finalists Kagdazka & Pazhujebu, which began with their opening day home defeat to Erassi's Corsairs. The Urchins' misfortune was to Sargossa's gain and with the main threat out of the way Group 15 became something of a procession. It was a routine 3 - 1 win over unfancied Sørøya that finally made qualification official but the real damage had been done two rounds earlier with Kagdazka & Pazhujebu's shock defeat in Savski Venac which enabled the Corsairs to take a seven point lead over the group's danger side. Next time out a single goal from veteran forward Celso Esquivel was good enough to beat third seeded Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk and virtually assure the nation a trip to the big show. Virtually assured became actually assured with the Sørøya victory.

Group 15                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Sargossa                             13   10   3   0    34   20  +14    33 Q
2 The Icemark                          13    9   2   2    23    9  +14    29
3 Kagdazka and Pazhujebu               13    8   2   3    33   20  +13    26
4 Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk               13    7   1   5    31   22   +9    22 E
5 Savski Venac                         13    6   1   6    20   16   +4    19 E
6 Sørøya                               13    3   3   7     8   22  −14    12 E
7 Greckan Tribes                       13    1   2  10    13   33  −20     5 E
8 Calorax                              13    0   2  11    12   32  −20     2 E

All of which delighted assistant coach Hernán Ojeda, for whom the danger of the final day trip to The Icemark was not lost. "The Bears of the North are without doubt the surprise package of this group. With their dangerous attack, watertight defence and their intimate and intimidating stadium, The Icemark can give absolutely anyone a game. It's certainly not a fixture you want to go into while needing a point or three. So I think we're all glad it's a dead rubber."

Although those 'dead rubber' sentiments are perhaps not shared by his boss. In fact Brutušam Erassi finds himself in a most unusual position. Sacked as national coach of his homeland four years ago and subjected to several sharp barbs and occasional ridicule in the Kagdaz media since, the Pazhujebi tactician now finds himself playing the role of unlikely potential saviour to the Urchins' slim qualification chances. Simply put Kagdazka & Pazhujebu need to beat Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk and then hope Sargossa do them a favour in Frostmarris. A petty man may take the opportunity to rest his key performers ahead of the tough graft of the Finals. Fortunately for his compatriots Brutušam Erassi does not strike us as a petty man.

[Mytannion]

Referendum provides a huge 'yes' to independence for Victorwick.
by Roland Bobrov

90,000 Pobedyvikans were once again prevented on their voice on a political matter as the referendum on independence was met with an overwhelming 'yes' from the ethnic Citiz on the island. This does give the Pobedyvikans some hope for the future, new found independence means a new constitution and with the protests in Pobedyvika beginning to gain some regionwide attention, this constitution could provide rights for the Pobedyvikans - and maybe even a right to secession, so they can secede from the Victorians whenever they want - but that would probably be once again, completely prevented by the ethnic Citiz majority on the island. We expect for the Pobedyvikans to once again be denied their rights, the Citiz are backing them all the way - and with that, the ethnic Citiz will be backed, once again keeping the ethnic Mytanars completely in the dark on any decisions that need to be made.

Independence was granted late last night after the referendum was held and the proposal of independence was accepted by the Victorians on the island, leading to the Citiz government granting them their freedom, but crucially, not the Pobedyvikans. The ethnic Mytanar population on the island is still going to be subject to the same laws as they were before, perhaps even harsher laws than before as the Victorians look to further cement their position as the dominant ethnicity on the island. They currently control all the money and all the power on the island, the ethnic Mytanars have to scrape a living working on the land in the north and west of the island. The control of power has a clear meaning, though, it prevents the Pobedyvikans from having choices in anything that occurs. They are voiceless and cannot choose who rules them, even in the areas that they have settled on a large scale. This independence does not really help them, it is just a further measure that is being employed to ensure they cannot change their position in society there, well and truly below the ethnic Citiz. The new constitution of the island could well include legislation that secures the Victorian position and further devalues just the idea of being Pobedyvikan.

It will really be interesting to see how the Victorians deal with being independent completely from Civil Citizenry, they have the resources and economy in place already to be able to survive financially. The political situation however, could completely blow-up. Independence will probably make the constitution more unfair towards the ethnic Mytanars - but it will also cause them to react more and more belligerently to any attempts to oppress them further. The Pobedyvikans know what they want, they are Mytanar, we're willing to back them. If they want freedom and the Victorians won't give it them, we'll have to use other methods of diplomacy to really get their message across. It is actually surprising that the Citiz have continued to back their people, given the fact that they're normally one of the more liberal nations - normally they back collective peoples' rights to self-determination, but not when it includes one of their possessions. Hypocrisy, is the word we're looking for here.

What the Pobedyvikans are looking for should be pretty clear to the international community by now, the international community should join in pushing for this, but it seems to be the case that they are not doing so, however much it is needed. Pobedyvikans want freedom to vote, at the least. They want the same laws for them and the ethnic Citiz. The Victorians are pretty much free to walk the streets and be openly racist to Pobedyvikans, for their Mytanar heritage, for their customs. They even criticize our rather different religions, something which you would feel - they would actually understand. Pobedyvikans are not allowed these freedoms to avoid abuse that are normally just the rights that every single person enjoys, they are just natural rights for them. Pobedyvikans don't just want that however, that is the minimum that they want to reach - they want to either have their own independence from the Victorians, or to become a part of Mytannion again.

They probably won't be allowed them simple rights, the minimum that they would ask for in any deal. Of course, the constitution from the last regime still stands, meaning the Victorians are the only ones who can vote - so when the election is organized and comes around - all the votes will be for candidates that favour the Victorians, leaving the situation just the same as it always has been and revealing this deal that the Citiz and Victorians have come to, to be exactly what it is. It is largely a sham, a deal that is being used to further the Citiz control here. We cannot be sure as of yet, but the deal will just result with an ethnic Citiz candidate ruling the country again - someone who is sympathetic to the Citiz government. It is a deal that is being used to just cement the position, as we said, but being used sneakily, so that it seems as if the Citiz are handing control over to the Victorians.

We can't confirm this, but it could be the case. If it is, it's doing the exact opposite of helping the Pobedyvikans. This is an awkward situation, the government cannot get involved as the Citiz have actually done something good, by - in theory - allowing them freedom. The situation should not be read at face value however, this could be viewed as the Citiz helping the Pobedyvikans toward freedom, but the situation needs to be monitored in order to see the actual results.

[Octinstine]

Octinstine require fortune to progress

So this is it the last game of the season this is where all the hard work will either by paid of or have been for nothing. Tonights game is against the bottom team in the group, a team that the phanthers have already beaten so there should realy be no trouble there. The team though really cant afford to not pick up the three points tonight as qualification chances are slim even getting the win.

As things stand Octinstine are third in the group level on points with the second place team, the problem is though that the goal diffrence between the two teams is massive in the dissparity being basically insmountable. Tonight octinstine need the team above them to drop points as if they win its all over. Fourtunatly Akbarabad play thier match against the Cowardly Pacifists one of the most defensively oriantated teams in the group meaning the chances of Akbarabad dropping points are slightly greater.

Whatever happens though Octinstine first need to secure thier own three points first beofre then hopping that the Chickens can do us a favour.

[Jedi8246]

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Haha... I'm Logan Dale with Fenris Sports Corner. It's official folks. For the first time in history, the Wyverns have qualified for the World Cup playoffs. In the five years since Jedi8246 joined the international sports scene, they have advanced fantastically and now prove themselves as one of the top teams in the entire world. Now Jedi8246 can rest in preparation for the playoffs. The final game of the season will be a simple anyway, likely giving Jedi8246 more wins that the midway prediction anticipated. We at Fenris Sports Corner want to give a shout out to Head Coach Donald Hemlock for bringing this team together. We eagerly look forward to playoffs and the hype associated. For today, the nation shouts as a whole in joy. All Fenris products are 50% off this week. Enjoy it. Stay tuned after the break for sports news."

[Astograth]

From the Archives of RL Sports
World Cup 8

Egypt:

The allocation of spots is therefore thus:
(snip)

• Africa and Asia region groups, plus Australia (CAF/AFC/OFC): 1 place, contested by 18 teams. Two CAF rounds will result in three of Ghana, Guinea, Cameroon, Sudan, Algeria, Liberia, Tunisia, Mali, Morocco, Senegal, Ethiopia, Gabon, Libya, Nigeria and the United Arab Republic (Egypt) advancing to the final round, to play one of North Korea, Australia or South Korea.

Ha. Ha. No. No way. 15 African teams, of which only only three get the chance to maybe qualify? So much for helping out the little guys, how are we supposed to break into the World Cup like this? We already have Mozambique and Angola jumping ship with Portugal, keep this up and it'll turn into mass exodus. One direct qualifying spot for Africa, on its own, or as president of CAF I will be boycotting this edition.

England: Oh no! Threats! Whatever will I do!

lol suck it up. If Africa boycotts I'll just have the winner of the Asia-Oceania group qualify.

Egypt: I am shocked and appalled! This will not stand with FIFA!

England: For once, I am FIFA.

France: ^true dat

Egypt: Having revealed FIFA as one giant conspiracy, I hope it serves as a lesson to the RL Sports community. I've spoken with my fellows in North Africa, as well as the regional delegates from West, East and Central Africa, and we've all agreed to withdraw from the World Cup 8 qualifiers. South Africa, delegate for Southern Africa, had no strong feelings one way or the other, something about not taking part fitting his RP.

England: OK. Cool. Less work for me. Right then, just one group of three for that zone, the two Koreas and Australia. Japan turned down the IC hosting though, so it'll have to be in Cambodia, who graciously volunteered.

South Korea: You said it would be in Japan. I am angry about this and ask Engerlend to create a new verision of the qualifiers.

England: Erm, no? AFC-OFC first (and effectively final) round to go through in Cambodia.

South Korea: I said NO CAMBODIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

England: Nothing I can do.

South Korea: OH GOD I'M ANGRY. Frence, help me.

France: Jules Rimet is dead, man, sorry.

South Korea: I withdraw.

England: Right. Cool. The qualifier for Africa, Asia and Oceania to be decided between North Korea and Australia then.

Australia:

Australia 1 - 3 North Korea (agg. 2 - 9)

Youu hda ONE JOb Margarte

---

England: So it's a pretty fun World Cup, right? Lots of upsets, lots to remember it by, hm?

Brazil: Worst World Cup EVER.

Argentina: I'll say. Just you wait till I run this thing, no funny business.

Italy: I call communist plot on Group 4. The USSR is evil, Chile let itself lose too easily and since when does North Korea win at football?

Chile: You got your payback from last World Cup >.>

As for me... Ayresome Park and Roker Park will see me win someday, mark my words.

Portugal: I'll just say I like your style, England.

Germany: It's been enjoyable so far. Ninety minutes away from my second win, after all.

England: Ooh, you think it's all over don't you?

Germany: I've reason to. Say, who will scorinate the final?

England: I'm sure we can agree that USSR hates us both in equal measure.

Germany: I can do that, yes.

Soviet Socialist Republics:

England:

WORLD CUP FINAL
Wembley Stadium, London
England 2 - 2 West Germany
(4 - 2 AET)

I can guarantee dodgy Azerbaijani linesmen had something to do with this D:<

HAHA YESSSS! Two World Wars and a World Cup Final, Germany! Hurst x3 and Peters with the goals, well done USSR!

Germany: Shame you had your permissions all set to YES though...

[New West Guiana]

"Well shit isn't that a major screw up on our part, even though it hurts we have real hope going forth. We thought NS played DS next, opps. What bothers me the most is that we tied once again to an un ranked team, twice. DeAnn though I will tell you World Cup 61 Qualifying we'll make history, we've got our foot in the door and we wont take it out, no matter how hard everyone tries to slam the door shut."

"Dale we can still play spoiler against NS, we play them tonight the team can still end 7-5-2, it would be much nicer to see Mike end his tenure with WG Soccer with a win. At lest he'll be less known for his past failures, but might be known for his work into molding the team into what we have today. Also it's not over who know's we might be invited to the Cup of Harmony for the first time. If we are there's still much to be hope for."

"DeAnn, my God are you over using the word hope as of recent. West Guiana will never be invited to the Cup of Harmony, i'll grantee this we'll qualify for the World Cup before we're invited. But even so we have the AOCAF to look forward to and with that, it will give our new coach some experience and maybe our first win in that tournament."

"So Dale has Mike told you when he'll be making his announcement official?"

"What announcement?"

"The one where he said he'll be retiring."

Oh..that one. No he never told me, well not yet. He might still be holding hope for WG Soccer to be able to play in the Cup of Harmony, but like I said that wont happen. We're not good enough for an invite, no matter how hard our team tries."

"Well Dale I will think we might get invited, but can we focus on our last game against NS. I say we'll beat them, to show them why you don't mess with our dreams. I hope they lose their first pod game."

"Well I hope so too, but we put to much hope into last nights game and look what happened. I think in the WG Soccer arena we should limit that word, it only brings saddens and regret."

"You might be right, but I wont stop saying it. Well I guess this will be our last conservation for this World Cup cycle, see ya next time. Hopefully by this time next cycle we'll be much better and qualified."

[Licentiapacisterra]

Well, I’ve returned from my last trip abroad with the Eagles until the next cycle, as far as I know anyway. I watched through the unbelievable fog as Licentiapacisterra pulled off a deserved 1-0 win against Terio, an unknown, uninteresting, unknown team.

The Eagles were dominant throughout, but Terio’s goalkeeper, clouded in fog as the rest of the team were, had a fairly good game, with a few good saves in challenging situations. Ben Miller challenged the Terians with a curling free kick on the 25 minute mark, while Dylan Knight put a blazing shot past from ten yards out a few minutes later. Terio had their best chance of the game as the half drew to a close, with one of their midfielders having scored, if it wasn’t for the linesman’s flag.

Early in the second half, Jack Kerr delivered another goal, with a beautiful header flying past the keeper to give the Eagles a 1-0 lead. When Drew Martin came on for Ben Miller, as he did against the Dagans, to launch the Eagles into a three man attack, the Rivermouth F.C. man went close, hitting the crossbar, while Knight was unable to capitalise. Terio had a spell of a few chances towards the end, but their attacks were silenced by Alex Stewart every time. All in all, the Cyan-and-Gold faithful went home happy, having seen their side win. It made the (presumably) long journey home quite a lot easier.

Tell you what though, I feel like I’ve changed over the past year and a half. I’ve read back through what I wrote in Valanora, at the Di Bradini Cup, and can’t believe it was me writing that. I’m going to find something out soon, that’s for sure...

[Valanora]

"So it's simple then, win and we're in to the Finals."

"That has been a lot easier to say than do this qualifying cycle, as our record and situation point to."

"Never said it was going to be easy, just that the situation itself is quite simplistic. Win, we're through to the Finals, all this struggle to be forgotten, particularly if there is a strong showing in the Finals. Can you imagine if we were to somehow win the entire thing after having all the trouble we have had thus far?"

"That would be quite the story, but it is a story that has no basis in reality thus far. Toriskia is not a nation to be taken lightly, they have already taken points of others in the group who thought they could just look past them and towards the next fixture in the list."

"That's the beauty of it, there is no next fixture in the list, just them standing between us and winning the group. A one way ticket to glory or failure, nothing greater could be made to get the blood flowing for those that are looking to redeem themselves and the name on the front and back of their kits."

"Please do not start getting obtuse in your wording, I have a headache."

"Rightio then. Shall we retire for the evening and pray to Elune for a good result, so that all our troubles may have humbled us without destroying us?"

"That is indeed a lovely idea. A victory to look for, to pray for so that the egos checked out the door in the Finals."

[Alexanderburn]

Alexanderburn 1-2 Octinstine
ANFT fails to secure qualification spot for now, looks to Cup of Harmony

The Alexanderburnese national football team (ANFT) and its fans are legitimately disappointed at the outcome of last night's match, and are hoping to take revenge by defeating San Nitrento tonight in the last match of the WC60 qualifying stages as the away team.

The first half, like many games in which the Blue and White play, was fairly quiet. In fact, there were no dangerous shots on goal at all from either team that prompted the goalie to take any action besides a controlled save. It was obvious that Alexanderburn, though hoping for the three points secretly, was publicly playing for a draw against the superior team, and with their tactics and controlled midfield, the ball was almost always stopped from entering either of the team's thirds as the first 45 minutes was essentially just a passing game.

The second half, however, was full of many spectacular attempts and three great goals as both teams decided during the break that it was time to up the tempo of the match and try to score and win, even if the result was a meager 1-0 victory.

The first dangerous attempt came in the 46th minute less than 60 seconds after the whistle as Octinstine went for the off-target shot just to prove that they were awake and still in this. Yet just two minutes later, Alexanderburn rebounded from this threat and Zachary Hooper (CB) scored the first goal of the game and put the home nation in the lead by shocking all with a magnificent follow-through.

Just six minutes later, an Octinstine midfielder equalised it for his team and put the score at 1-1, frustrating Alexanderburnese hopes of claiming the three points and a shot at qualification "early on" in the match. After a number of shots on goal and off by both teams, including 10 more from Octinstine and 9 more from Alexanderburn, another great kick from the midfield of the opponents made its way past the hands of goalkeeper Nordaglio and into the net in the 90+1 minute, and as the whistle sounded for the full match, Octinstine had won 2-1 on Alexanderburnese ground. The entire team was in shock after being undefeated for 10 matches in a row, and all expected the unranked football team to continue this streak for the last two games of the World Cup. However, it seems as if the starting eleven and the subs fell victim to an aggressive Octinstinian group this time around.

However, there is another reason that the team has become furious - the statements at the Akbarabad press conference very early this morning sent shockwaves across the entire country and all of the teams football supporters as the ANFT was seriously and directly insulted as being

cocky and incompetent

for not defeating Octinstine last night at home, which would have secured a qualification spot for the nation of Akbarabad, who was ranked the 11th-best football team in the world prior to their numerous draws and defeats in this World Cup.

"I am frankly appalled and offended that the press, the coaches, and the team would condone such behavior of its employees and supporters," noted ANFT manager Manuel del Bensolix at tonight's press conference just hours ago. Many other fans of the national team also submitted their input into the matter.

"This is an outrage!" noted Lachlan Oliver, a native Alexanderburnese fan. "Considering the fact that Akbarabad lost to Octinstine at their own stadium, I think that they have no right to say such things about us." On another note, while releasing tonight's starting lineup, coach William Kingsley had this to say.

No team should ever repeat what Akbarabad has just done to us, and I expect to receive a sincere apology in the next day.

STARTING LINE-UP (Alexanderburn @ San Nitrento)

-------------------- van der Pol ---- Cremonesi -------------------
------ Frederiksen -------- Schroeder -------- Austerlitz ------
-------------------- Holierhoek --------- Collett -------------------
--------- Rittenhouse ------- Hooper ------- Ebersberger ---------
----------------------------- Nordaglio ------------------------------

Modification: +1.5

Good luck Alexanderburn! Last match of WC60!

[Socialist States Owen]

The wait is over! FSSO qualify for the 60th World Cup
A report by Clint Covey

From the Final Fortress

SCRAP BRAIN ZONE - 1
Brain 83

FSSO - 4
Needle 47
Ryans 56
Sharp 70
Fessner 75

A second half blitz of goals from the FSSO ensured they qualified for the World Cup for the first time ever.

For the most part, the first half was a slow, boring and nervous affair with the home side having nothing to play for and FSSO playing uneasily. The only real chance came for Scrap midfielder Fighter, who curled a 34th minute free kick just wide. However, the second half saw a much more open game and importantly the FSSO took the lead early on to calm their nerves. Sam Needle, the ever reliable strike partner of Lee Sharp, struck with vengance straight after half time, firing the ball like a bullet from a gun into the top left hand corner after strolling into the box with the ball. The FSSO started to control the game and pushed for another goal, which soon came as Persa Ryans tapped in a Needle cross from the edge of the six yard box.

Over the next 10 minutes or so Scrap Brain Zone proved they were not out of the game with a period of pressure on the FSSO goal, culminating in Brain hitting the post with a sidefooted shot. However, Lee Sharp bagged a third goal for the FSSO to calm their nerves and send the crowd into a mood of jubilation - the Holy Empire/Orlkjestad game had ended 2-1 earlier, so the fans knew this meant they were finally going through. Sharp's goal was unremarkable itself, a sidefooted shot from just outside the box created by a Steve Thompson pass. Thompson then had his own chance to score, missing narrowly with a half volley, before substitute Paul Fessner (on for Mike Humphrey) headed in from a Thompson free kick to seal the victory. The home side got a consolation goal near the end from a Brain header, but when the final whistle blew it was the away fans who were jubilant and stormed the pitch.

Manager Ben Randall was visibly delighted. "Seven years of qualifying campaigns. Seven years of hurt. Now we've really done it, I couldn't be happier for the players and the fans. We know our chances of winning the tournament are very small, but we're really grateful just to be there and hopefully will make a habit of it from now on." The government commended the team this evening, with Prime Minister Andrew Lafferton lavishing them in praise for "boosting the sporting image of Eura across Rushmore and the world." A government and FSSOFA organised ceremony will take place before the teams last qualifier in Bastion against Capivara Group. Manager Ben Randall, who has had many ups and downs in the job, will recieve a Euran Parliamentary Medal during the ceremony. EPM's will also go to Lee Sharp, Steve Thompson and Sam Needle. It is also expected Daniel Belgrave will make a vital return from injury just before the World Cup begins.

This is easily the greatest day in FSSO footballing history so far. At the end of the first half of qualifying, this task looked impossible after a string of awful results. However, a remarkable run of 7 straight wins has left the FSSO 5 points clear with a game to spare.

Man of the Match: Steve Thompson

The Starting Lineup

13. S Neeson
3. N Feeney
4. J Paranaya
5. M Humphrey
3. JA Pizza
7. J McCroft
6. P Ryans
8. S Thompson
11. J Stevenson
10. L Sharp
9. S Needle

Substitutes

24. C Castleton
19. M Robertson
15. G Davis
16. K Kane
18. T Riley
14. S Xavier
17. P Fessner (On for Humphrey for 66)

[Gyatso-kai]

Republic Broadcasting Network
Bringing You The Most Important News This Side of Ba Sing Se!

Gorou Yuu Kim Reporting...

REPUBLIC CITY, REPUBLIC CAPITAL TERRITORY --- At the Stadium of the Republics, Head Coach Boba Vhett has announced that for the remainder of the Bisons' World Cup 60 Campaign, Leifong Saikhan shall be a coaching staff member of the Bisons under the title of "Strategical Coaching Assistant". Following the advancement of the Bisons into the World Cup Proper for the second time in history, the team is set to auto-qualify for the first time in their history.

"We are in a unique place for our team," Vhett stated in the morning Press Conference. "We are going into a battle set for the ages, with some of the greatest teams in World Cup history. Having someone with the background and talents of Leifong will be a welcomed addition to the management of the team."

While we are uncertain of what this means to the future of the coaching staff on the Bisons, we can be certain that the addition of Leifong shall only enhance the abilities of the Bisons. Despite an unflattering attempt to garnish the position of Manager for the Turori National Team earlier this tournament, Leifong has had great success since graduating from the University of Omashu in 2000.1. Becoming the assistant coach of the University's football team following the death of their head coach, Leifong would remain at Omashu following a three-year stint in the RPFL as the head coach until 2006, when he would be offered the Forwards Coach position at FC Mando under Vhett. After a year under Vhett, he would be promoted to Assistant Manager in 2007, where he would remain until 2009.4, when he would be given the position to Head Omashu FC, where he still remains.

With a short tenure as the Assistant Coach of the National Team before and during World Cup 57, Leifong is very familiar with Vhett's unique style of coaching, making it an easy transition and easy incorporation. We can only hope for success in the continued advancement of the Bisons through the ranks of the world's greatest sporting nations.

[Stachland]

Stachland Reds

Reds Need Help From Cassadaigua, Point Against Licentiapacisterra to Advance
by Witold Elliott

It’s all coming down to the very last matchday of this World Cup 60 qualifying campaign. After clinching one of the top two seeds early last time around, the Reds are once again in the thick of things up until the very last—just as they were in World Cups 56, 57, and 58.

It wasn’t easy to even get here—Elstorm, a team which the Reds clobbered 5-1 on the road, very nearly forced the Reds into a draw. Leading 2-1 at halftime, Elstorm continued attacking ferociously, but the Stachlanders managed to turn the tide and score three goals in the sixty-seventh, seventy-second, and eighty-second minutes. Elstorm drew within one in the eighty-eighth minute.

Despite an incredible offensive display featuring two goals from Lyle Verdak and two from Zachary Zeelowe, the Reds were at risk as stoppage time commenced, with the Elstorm forwards getting off several shots on goal.

The most terrifying moment for Reds fans came two minutes into stoppage time, as a hard tackle in the box by Juran Chueran resulted in a penalty kick for the visitors.

With the crowd holding their collective breath, Navering Pounchtal correctly predicted the shot, and managed to deflect it wide right of the net. Time would expire a minute later, and the Reds would survive the upset scare, 4-3.

Now, tied with West Angola for points, the Reds will look to Group Nineteen champions Cassadaigua to take care of business on the road against the West Angolans. Meanwhile, fourth-place Camwood has an easy match at home, meaning the Reds will need to earn at least a draw on the road against Licentiapacisterra to advance to a playoff pod.

Essentially, if the Reds draw tonight, they should certainly make it through as the second-place team in the group. Even if either Camwood or West Angola equals them in terms of points, the Stachlandic team holds the head-to-head tiebreaker against the latter, and the goal differential tiebreaker against the former.

“We really don’t want it to end here. Anyone can understand that,” explained goalkeeper and future team captain Navering Pounchtal. “The Cup of Harmony is pleasant, also. But it can’t compare to the World Cup. We have to keep up hope.”

[Camerania]

"Good evening, folks. I'm Barry Norman with the final World Cup Qualifying update. Last night was a great on-the-road, second-to-last attempt at redemtion aginst Tales, putting us within striking distance of qualification! This really is quite exciting. Regardless of whether we do qualify, we here at home and Fightin' Commies fans abroad know that this has been an incredible run, considering the fact that it's only our third, and we'll certainly settle for ending here, as long as we know we've fought our hardest. The Olympics will be starting soon, so stay tuned for our reports on them, and also our report on tonight's greatly anticipated match! Until then, I'm Barry Norman, keeping you posted."

[Pasarga]

"Into the pods then, shame we could not take advantage of that draw the Polarians had."

"But the table says that we've not secured them yet!"

"Oh that is because it doesn't take into calculations of the tiebreakers yet, of which we own against Yeso. So we've nothing to play for in this upcoming match but pride and ranking points."

"Do you think Abel will rest the first team given the stakes of the pod matches and how this match is now meaningless?"

"I would suspect a mixed team of starters and reserves, can't let the stars get out of form now can we? Not if we're going to defeat the loser of QPeMA v C&R next week."

"If we happen to do so, who do you think we would face in the second round of matches to get through to the Finals?"

"If I was a betting person, my money would be on Wight, they seem to have the form and skill needed to navigate into that second round of playoffs, though it would mean quite the difficult test for the Wanderers if that proves to be the case. They're like the Yesopalithians and Audioslavs, rising stars in the competition and a very tough out, particularly as it will be played on neutral ground."

"Nothing is ever easy is it?"

"Certainly not, but then, if it was, the triumph would not taste as sweet as it does when you achieve it."

[Audioslavia]

"Yeah" said Jeremy, stubbing his cigar out on his bosses desk, "I'm sorry I've not been posting articles. Been busy with RL issues, y'see".
James Ballworth (pronounced 'bay-uth', apparently, although Jeremy had made it his personal mission to eschew this ridiculous pronunciation at every opportunity, on moral grounds) glared at the cigar being stubbed out on his desk.
"First of all, Jeremy, this is a non-smoking room"
"I didn't see the sign"
"It's on the desk. In front of you. Written in English. In bold, capital letters. It says 'No smoking'. It's next to a picture of a red ring, a full ten inches in diameter, with a thick red bar going through the middle, partially obsfuscating a picture of a smoking cigarette. It even has a picture of you just below it, with your full name - that too, is in bold capital letters, black on a white background - and the phrase 'especially Jeremy Jaffacake. Jeremy Jaffacake is not allowed to smoke in my office"
"I read between the lines"
"There aren't... Jeremy, there aren't any lines between the lines. All you can see when you sit at the other end of this desk, Jeremy, is me, the wall behind me - that too has a sign saying 'no smoking', by the way - and my desk, the most prominent feature of which - from your position - is the aforementioned sign."
"I thought it was ironic"
"What I find 'ironic', Jeremy, is not the sign on my desk. It is the fact that you, a real life person with a real life job, are blaming 'RL issues' on your not doing your real life job."
"That isn't irony"
"Don't tell me what 'irony' is, Jeremy. I'm the stand-in under-editor of the Emberton Post. I know what 'Irony' fucking is"
"Having a swear box in your office but not putting any money in it when you swear because someone sewed your wallet shut with the stitches forming the letters 'F.U.'?" asked Jeremy, an innocent, inquisitive frown on his face, matched by the pained frowned worn by his temporary boss.
"...yes"
"Did you ever find out who did that?"
"Yes, Jeremy, I did. I used some of, what you would call, 'expert sleuthery' to accurately deduce the culprit in this particular case of wallet-snatching and vandalism"
"Oh, good, who?"
"You know who"
"Do I?" - Jeremy was playing innocent again, but not with a great deal of effort.
"Jeremy... late last week, when I asked you about your lack of input to the newspaper during my temporary tenure as your boss, you interrupted your appraisal in order to enquire as to the wherebouts of my wallet. I persistantly explained to you that it was in my pocket, but you kept insisting that you refused to believe me until I produced said wallet and showed it to you. When I did so, you... and I know you did this... swapped my wallet with a replica of equal colour, texture and weight while you were, as you so cutely put it, 'inspecting its contents for wires or bugs'. You then proceded to ignore me for the rest of your conversation, go back to your desk, collect your things and leave work - three hours early - to go to the pub, but not, I'll wager, before nipping into a shop to buy a needle and a spool of white thread and painstakingly inscribe the letters 'FU' into my wallet, forcing it closed at the seam. You then got drunk, didn't turn up for work the next day. By this time I'd reported my stolen wallet to the police and given them an accurate description of you, where you lived, what your full name was and where you could be found at any given time. The next day you turned up for work on time - for the first time in living memory - and proceded to ignore me again despite my persistent questions as to the wherebouts of my wallet. You continued to rudely ignore me until a policeman walked through the doorway holding my wallet - newly inscribed, of course - and handed it to me, saying he 'just couldn't find anyone by the name of 'Jeremy Jaffacake'. He then turned to you, winked and said 'thanks for the tickets, Jeremy', to which you nodded and smiled and said 'no problem'. You then went to the pub for an 'early lunch' despite the time being only 9:45am. While you were getting drunk, Jeremy, I spent two hours undoing the stitching, very carefully, on my very expensive wallet, so as not to damage it, and found that, aside from the stitching, you'd replaced the photographs of my wife and child with photographs of yourself, in the pub, sewing white cotton onto my wallet while imbibing alcohol during work hours. The pocket that usually contains my expenses recepits had also been unceremoniously ripped open, and every single one of the recepits replaced with a note saying 'I, Jeremy Jaffacake, vandalised your wallet and will no doubt bribe the guy you send to apprehend me'. All these notes contained your instantly recogniseable signature. Furthermore, your colleague Rubio Sanchez informed me that you had asked him to lend you a pen in order to, as you apparently put it, 'write a few notes to our boss explaining about his wallet'. Mr. Sanchez also witnessed you write the notes, which you did while informing everyone around you what a 'mindless, expensive walleted waste of a suit' I was."
"Pfft" said Jeremy, "circumstantial"
"I received a letter this morning, Jeremy, from the president of Starblaydia, saying 'I can confirm that Jeremy Jaffacake thinks you're a twat, and vandalised your wallet'. I have put the letter next to the others, from the presidents of Audioslavia, Krytenia, Crystilakere, Vilita, The Babbage Islands and one 'Pope Gregory the Ninth', all with similar messages. What troubles me, Jeremy, is that not only are only half these messages in your handwriting - the others apparently check out as being legitimate - but that you continue to be astounded when I accuse you, Jeremy, of stealing my wallet"
Jeremy did, indeed, seem astounded. He frowned.
"Someone stole your wallet?"
"Right, enough about the wallet" said James after a heavy sigh. He removed his spectacles and pressed his fingers firmly into the bridge of his nose. "On to business. The newspaper. What, pray tell, are your actual reasons for not writing anything recently... and would you please refrain from smoking" continued James, as Jeremy lit another cigar. Jeremy frowned. He nodded towards a note in James' 'In' tray. James picked up the note on the top of the pile. It was the letter from the Starblaydian prime minister. James frowned.
"Turn it over" said Jeremy, in between puffs of his cigar
"Jeremy is, indeed smoking" said the note, in the handwriting of the Starblaydian premier. "Don't believe his lies". James repeated these words to Jeremy.
"It's his word against mine" said Jeremy.
"Even if that were in any way a comprehensible argument, Jeremy, I'm sure most people would trust the word of the leader of Starblaydia over that of a..."
"A what, sir?" asked Jeremy, getting his pen and notebad out of his inside pocket. James closed his mouth, still glaring at the wiry, scraggly mass of hair and cigar smoke in front of him.
"Your reasons for not doing work, please" repeated James.
"RL issues" said Jeremy, throwing his half-smoked cigar into the waste-paper basket behind James' desk. James didn't move. He'd learnt not to keep anything easily flammable around the Audioslavian. The cigar fizzled in an inch of dirty water at the bottom of the basket. It would possibly be the only victory James would ever win over Jeremy. "I've been playing RL states. All the time. My nation tried to qualify for the World Cup, but without avail. I've been pretending to be a hairy guy in a green shirt writing about football on his blog. He has a few friends and a rather delightful Hispanic girlfriend. It's been fun writing about him. Tomorrow I'm going to write about him staying in bed and having his day off, and maybe write about him going online and creating a fictional character-within-a-character-within-a-character on some kind of computer game called 'NSRLNS states', which I'm due to invent soon. It's exciting. You should play"
"That, Jeremy, is the most ridiculous attempt to account for one's absense that I have ever heard. What will Cleo say when she returns on Monday? What will she have to say, hmm?" asked James, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the desk, forming a bridge with his hands and resting his chin upon it, attempting to look imposing by narrowing his eyes, but only succeeding in blurring the Audioslavian slightly.
"She'll say 'what the fuck is that smell in my office', before tearing down those non-smoking signs and throwing the swear box in the bin"
"A fuck is worth twenty pence" said James. Jeremy frowned.
"Oh, sir, I don't think she'll say that. She won't say that at all. That's a horrible thing to think, sir" said Jeremy. James' eyes opened wide again.
"I didn't mean"
"Oh sir, really? Saying that about a respected work colleague? Implying that she's a prostitute simply because she's female and in a position of power over you? How revealing of your sexual politics, Mr. BALL-WORTH, not to mention your particular brand of deviance. And on tape too. For shame". Jeremy whipped out a digital recorder and rewound it back to where James made his allegedly damning sentence. The digital recorder made a fast 'wizzlywizzlywee' sound as it rewound. Jeremy had insisted that the manufacturer put that in, despite no tape being involved. Jeremy had argued that it 'wasn't a proper recorder unless it went 'wizzlywizzlywee''.
"That's ridiculous. It's clear from the context what I meant"
"What context?" said Jeremy, smiling. James got the message. Sound-editing software. The make-shift boss again pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Oh for fuck sake Jeremy, just get out. Just get out of my office. You're fired"
"No I'm not" said Jeremy, leaving, clicking his heels he left.

The newly-installed fire-safe door-closer swung the door, slowly but surely, back into place, but not before Jeremy called 'you owe your box forty pence' through it. James sighed. He felt in his pocket for his wallet, before remembering he'd put it on his desk to illustrate a pointo the Audioslavian.

He looked at the desk. The portion of it that his wallet should have sat upon.

Jeremy sauntered back to his desk, throwing a digital recorder over his computer to the opposite side of his personal desk, at which was sat Rubio Sanchez, eating a chocolate bar and surfing the internet, doing as little work as he dared (it wasn't that little. Rubio couldn't quite bring himself to completely fob off the temporary boss. Rubio caught the recorder in one hand and pressed play.

He chuckled, then raised an eyebrow, then another, listening to Jeremy cheek the duo's temporary boss.

"God, Jeremy, you really don't like authority figures, do you?"
"Of course I do" said Jeremy, cracking open a can of Tanah Burung beer, "I just don't like a certain type of authority."

[Kiryu-shi]

The match against Cafundéu was absolutely incredible; the atmosphere of a stadium that truly cared about football, the amazing technique exuded by the opposing squad, listening to Coach Mayberry dissect the match, even down to the beautiful, crisp looking black and red Cafundéu kits. The entire experience was really completely overwhelming to Tziganes. Fernanda, the Cafundéu midfielder, played brilliantly at times, devastating the Kiryu-shi midfield with incredible finesse, seemingly toying, at times, with the suddenly naive looking Will Feingold, who was charged, unfortunately, with trying to shut down the Cafundéu midfield.

It was, as much as Tziganes hated to admit it, the Kiryu-shi defending philosophy that allowed the match to remain scoreless, as Ferguson especially dominated balls that were fed to Dani and Rael, rarely letting either get a clean touch throughout. Rael’s only shot on goal, although spectacular, as he flipped the ball up to himself to turn around a charging Hamilton, was blasted directly into the chest of a perfectly positioned Yasumu. It was gorgeous, but the physical Kiryu-shi defenders completely neutralized Cafundéu’s effectiveness.

Tziganes, however, paid most attention to DeCastro, who had taken her under her wing a bit, over the last couple weeks. It was difficult not to see DeCastro’s incredible athleticism, which shone brightly in incredibly limited and rare opportunities. One chance she created for herself, producing a shot on goal after getting a head on a Kiryu-shi clearance near the center line, turning past the large and slightly slower Kledir, and creating a one-on-one with Laura, who expertly cut off the angle as DeCastro failed to execute a goal.

Tziganes knew that, given the chance, she could have put the ball in the net one on one with any keeper, but just as clearly, she knew that she would never have been able to turn the ball up the field so quickly, running past a defender who seemed twice her size in front of a crowd of roaring people who were expecting a good match to propel them in the World Cup, where Cafundéu would be playing in a matter of months. Watching them up close, these players who would soon be on the world’s greatest stage, their professionalism, their speed, it was incredible.

There was only one more week until the qualifications were over, but Tziganes was pretending that was never going to happen. Following the next match, home against Farfadillis, she would be enrolled at Sakaino University, training with their University squad instead of with the national team, without the protection of Coach Mayberry, and needing to deal with the general population.

But for now, her team was on par with the world’s greatest, she traveled internationally for the first time in her life, and life was absolutely beautiful.

[Polar Islandstates]

"Are, are we on?" asked the short tanned television host, standing up in the centre circle of the Nasjonale Stadion, and looking slightly confused as he fiddled with his cufflinks. "Are w- We are? Oh, sorry! Hello! My name is Freidrich End, and this is, End to End!" called the host with more enthusiasm and certainty in his voice this time as the opening credits of the TV show rolled over the top of the footage showing him walking off the pitch and towards the makeshift television studio set up in the dugouts. The jaunty theme tune faded away, and the hundred or so fans who have been allowed in to be the audience slowly stopped their clapping.

"Yes, yes, hello, and welcome!" continued End, "Today's edition is a very special one indeed, coming to you as we are live, yes, live, from the sidelines of the hallowed turf of the Nasjonale Stadion, here in Franz Josef City. Tomorrow's big match, also live on FPIBC1, is of course the final match in this qualifying campaign, and its the big one; Polar Islandstates versus Pasarga. Or at least it would have been had the Terns not already secured qualification to the finals! As it is, this will make five consecutive finals appearances and four out of five successful qualification campaigns for Kirkkegaard's boys, and we are lucky enough to be joined on the sofa today by some very special guests for this very special edition.

"Joining me first of all is head of the Valhallan Referee's Association, Dima Koolhaas," said End, gesticulating towards the rather prim and proper looking middle aged man sitting awkwardly at the end of the sofa, who nonetheless managed a curt smile at the camera, "Though recently retiring from active refereeing, Dima continues to be a highly respected voice in the world of football, and we look forwards to hearing his opinions tonight.

"Next to Dima is chief football writer at the Valhallan Independent, Peikko Uistella," continued End, as the camera cut to a cocky and poisonous looking specimen sat next to Koolhaas, flashing a sickly reptilian grin at the camera, "Peikko has been a highly outspoken critic of the current management structure at the national team, and was the first journalist to break the stories of contracts during this campaign.

"And on the other sofa, we are incredible lucky to be able to bring to you tonight, the management team that got the Terns this far!" said End with a flourish, "Yes, both Sol Kirkkegaard andJoachim Schwartz are joining us tonight, and we thank them profusely for that, gentlemen I know how busy you must be ahead of tomorrow, so thank you for your time.

"Next, we are perhaps even luckier to bring to you tonight the FPIFA chairman, Magnus Ragnorak," continued End, as the bizarre bearded figure of Ragnorak sat awkwardly on the sofa next to Kirkkegaard, their body language not exactly warm, "who is here to talk to us about the future of the Terns I believe, and where the FPIFA are looking to modernise.

"But, before we talk to our guests," said End warmly as the camera cut back to him in his hosts's chair, clipboard on lap, "we are of course joined as ever by my esteemed co-host, Mr Efraim Felix Forsberg, who brings with him as usual, the football headlines. Eff? Take it away."

"Thank you, Freidrich!" called the enthusiastic and flamboyant figure of Forsberg, "And the big breaking news this weekend is of course the Terns' guaranteed progression to the World Cup finals for another pop at winning the damn thing. So, congratulations to Sol and Joachim, here, and we look forwards to following your progress in The Babbage Islands, or Saugeais, wherever it is you end up drawn. The final match of the group is tomorrow, and although the hard-fought 1-1 draw in Audioslavia means the game is no longer a must-win for the Terns, I'm sure the team will want to progress from qualifying with as many points as possible, so we'll be here tomorrow night, packing out the Ostkurven and the Nasjonale as usual, or of course the match will be live on FPIBC1. The other big news is probably the other nations that have qualified already, but I tell you what, Freidrich, I'll save all that for when we actually know all the qualifiers.

"Which actually means, I guess, that the other, other, big news," continued Forsberg, with large and dangerously energetic hand gestures, "is that the FPIFA and the WCC have come to an agreement over Polar Islandstates' first submission to the World Cup Hall of Fame! As a reward for the four finals appearances so far, there was a place in the hall allocated to the Terns for their achievements, and the conclusion arrived at by the FPIFA, which I presume Magnus over there was a part of, was that the first inclusion into the hall from the Terns will be the captain who led us to those first three finals appearances, Mr Niko Marek. More news on the ceremony and what this means in the future, I'm sure. In the meantime, back to Freidrich."

"Thank you very much, Eff. Now, first things first, I guess," said End, looking at his clipboard, "and qualification! You must be very happy with the way things have gone, Joachim?"

"Erm, yeah, absolutely," replied Schwartz with a slight start at being asked to give a response, "I think the lads did really well to keep focused during the more testing times in terms of media exposure..."

The camera cut to an unapologetic looking Uistella at this point, before cutting back to Schwartz as he continued.

"... and most importantly they continued to get results. We might not have played our best football at all times in this campaign, but we've got the results. And who knows, they say a sign of a great team is one that can get results when they're not playing at their best, so let's hope its a good sign."

"Well, let's hope so indeed," interjected End, "and what about you, Magnus? The FPIFA and yourself have come in for some criticism this cycle. Erm, more on that later, but for now what would be your assessment of the qualification campaign?"

"Well, erm, positive, obviously. The team qualified and that's all you can ask for in qualifying, really." said Ragnorak, not looking at all comfortable under his enormous beard. "But what's important now is that we, er, is that we refuse to rest on out laurels, continue to look for the positives in what we do, and that we maintain a forward looking outlook. Its important that we are always planning for the future at the FPIFA, and for the good of the national side, might I add. We cannot be complacent, and we must act in a way that benefits the team."

"Erm, well, indeed, yes," said End slowly, "Sol?"

"Erm, I, yeah," started Kirkkegaard before pausing to look at Ragnorak, clearly picking up on the same odd parts of that last offering from the FPIFA as End had, "erm, yes obviously I echo the idea that it's important to take decisions that are good for the team, but that looking forwards isn't always the best thing I suppose. There are important lessons to be learned from the past, and it's important that we don't ignore them."

Kirkkegaard tilted his head slightly to look at Ragnorak, who continued to resolutely avoid looking at his manager. Kirkkegaard frowned, visibly disturbed by this show of frostiness from his boss.

"You came under a considerable amount of pressure at one point to drop Amadeus Irndtor, not least from Peikko over there," said End as Uistella smirked, "and your decisions to stick by him caused you to face considerable amounts of criticism, did they not? How did you handle that?"

"I did, yes," said Kirkkegaard, clearly happy to move on and talk of things other than the FPIFA, "but its important in situations like this to stick by your guns. If I'd dropped Amadeus then its not worth thinking about what might have happened to the guy's confidence. He's had his ups and downs, yeah, it's not been clean sailing for him this cycle by any stretch, but I believe we're through the worst of it now, and he's finally hitting his top form - the top form I knew he was capable of all along. Something you just have to batten down the hatches and let the flak reign over you. At the end of the day, I'm the manager, nobody else it, and I make the decisions that I believe are best for the team. In the end, I ws vindicated, I feel, as in the last two matches against Traila and Audioslavia he's been magnificent, scoring in both matches, and he'll be starting as a lone striker again tomorrow."

"Hm, thank you. Now, Peikko," said End, directing the conversation as was his role on the show, "you were one of the ringleaders of the groups criticising Sol, and yet now things are going better and the opinions of the Twitchers are fully back behind the manager, your tune has changed somewhat. what do you say to criticisms thrown at yourself and other members of the press that you've just been stirring events up for the sake of headlines?"

"Rubbish, Freidrich," replied Peikko with a slimy smirk, "we only want best for the team. In many ways, our jobs are similar to Sol's in that we can only act upon what we feel. Sure, Sol's end product is a team sheet, but ours is an opinion piece, and you have to have an opinion in the first place to be able to share that. So I thought Amadeus should be dropped, its a fair opinion, and if others agreed with me then lovely, but its still Sol's team sheet, absolutely."

"Oh, rubbish," snorted Sol, "you knew exactly what you were trying to do. You were trying to unsettle my team so you canld have something to write about. Plus all the better for the papers if my job status is being talked about, right? SO what better way than to unsettle the team in order to breed poor performances. You press are all the same. You're slimy, squirmy, snakes. You can all go to hell, the lot of you."

"We, well, Sol, if you could just wait your tu-" started End, before he too was interrupted, this time by Uistella again.

"Yeah, well, if the team were playing well in the first place we'd only have praise and analysis to offer, wouldn't we?" retorted Uistella with a fixed smile. "You can't blame a failure like that on the journalists anymore than I can blame your performances for my circulation numbers."

"...but there's a direct link betwee-" started Kirkkegaard.

"Well, we'll come back to you in a minute, Sol," intercepted End diplomatically, "but first, Peikko, surely you can't deny that you carry a huge amount of influence in terms of what the fans are talking about though? You were the first to uncover and break the story of Sol's contract issues, and it was all anybody talked about for weeks."

"Naturally, Freidrich," said Uistella, looking pretty smug as he did so, "that's the power of good writing."

"Give me strength..." muttered Kirkkegaard under his breath as he rolled his eyes.

"Magnus," hurried End, clearly keen to avoid a confrontation, "you were criticised by many for staying silent during the hubbub that followed that particular revelation, with m-"

"Yeah and don't forgot all the times he got wasted and talked about Powell PIeran with Jeremy Jaffacake..." interrupted Uistella, who was clearly keen to create a confrontation.

"Er, yeah thank you, Peikko," intoned End, "erm, Magnus?"

"Well," started Ragnorak after a deep breath, "I didn't want to create any publicity that would steal the attention and create undue pressures on Sol and the team."

"First I've heard of it." snapped Kirkkegaard.

"Surely you must admit though," continued End, "that any speculation over the status of Sol's contract and whether negotiations will take place could have been nipped in the bud by a single clear, non-misinterpretable statement from the FPIFA?"

"Well, perhaps, but I thought it best to just stay out of the limelight altogether," said Ragnorak, "if that was the wrong decision, then I apologise, and if the times when I may have had a little too much to drink were an inconvenience to Sol and the team, then I apologise, but its important now that we move on and look to the future and try to work out where we'll be in a year's time."

"Huh, 'if'..." scoffed Kirkkegaard.

"Erm, Dima, we haven't heard from you yet," said End, moving the discussion on, "what did you make of the contract story?"

"Well I think there are criticisms to be levelled at many of the parties involved over many of their decisions." stated Koolhaas officiously, "Why Sol and Magnus have allowed his contract to run down so low in the first place if they both want Sol to continue in this job after the World Cup is beyond me, and Magnus' policy of silence was a ludicrous one. A ludicrous one all to frequently interspersed by drunken rambles to the press. Of which Peikko seemed to have a curiously high number of exclusives on, I have to say..."

"Just in the right place at the right time," said Uistella, sounding very happy with himself and folding his arms, "sign of good investigative journalism."

"I find that hard to believe young man, and your rhetoric pulls no wool over my eyes," continued Koolhaas, seeing through Uistella and visibly deflating his self-assuredness in the process, "the simple fact is Magnus has been too easily led away from the logical path of signing Sol up as soon as possible to as long a contract as possible, and Sol has been too easily shaken by the events in the press surrounding his team selection to make the obvious decision to simply ask for a new contract. Its simple. Things are always simple when you boil them down."

"Magnus?" offered End.

"Well that's one way of looking at it certainly," said Ragnorak, "but honestly, I just didn't want to provide a distraction for Sol whilst the qualifiers were going on..."

"They're nearly finished now," interrupted Kirkkegaard, "you going to offer me a new contract now?"

"Erm, ahem, well, let's sit down when the qualifiers are actually over, and we'll have a discussion based on your performances and the..."

"Based on my performances?!" exclaimed Sol loudly, causing the mics in the studio to peak slightly, "What on earth are you talking about man? My performances have been great! We qualified! Again! The only people that disagreed with me were the press and I proved them wrong! How can y-... Will you look at me? Magnus, you've not looked me in the eye since the show started. Look me in the eye."

Shifting awkwardly, Ragnorak held Kirkkegaard's gaze for a second, then dropped his eyes to the floor once more, "Now's not the time to be having this discussion, Sol, let's wait until the broadcast has ended, okay?"

"You're getting this, right?" asked End from the host's chair.

"After the broadcast? You've had all campaign to talk to me about this, Magnus, and you've n-" shouted Kirkkegaard.

"Sol," warned Schwartz, "maybe he has a point. Now's probably not the best place to iron out a contract extension. Don't be so stubborn, let it slip this time."

"I've let it slip all campaign, Joachim." argued Kirkkegaard.

"I know, but, just this once he may actually be right." countered Schwartz, to the exasperation of Kirkkegaard.

"In fact," continued Ragnorak, "I think we should wait until after the World Cup has finished, I mean by that time we'll know just what needs to be looked at in terms of the future, an-"

"After the World Cup?!" yelled Kirkkegaard, disbelievingly, "Are you legitimately off your rocker?! I don't understand what I've done to piss you off so much, but I certainly don't remember any wild wage demands, or any outlandish comments, or shitting in your salad or anything like th-"

"Sol..." warned Schwartz again.

"This is all looking very foolish." muttered Koolhaas to nobody in particular.

"Erm, I'd like to apologise to any viewers who may be offended by that language..." said End hastily, losing control of his guests.

"No, no, no, nothing like that." said Ragnorak, raising his voice for the first time, "Its just that I think it's hugely important to consider all the possibilities and asses every eventuality. I did this when I appointed you in the first place and signed you to this huge contract. I don't take these decisions lightly!"

"Yeah," snorted Uistella, "that, and he was in Audioslavia talking about Pieran with his best mate Jeremy again last weekend."

There was an awkward silence.

"Erm, what?" asked Kirkkegaard, quietly.

"Oh yeah," chuckled Uistella, incredibly happy with himself, "I got it all on an exclusive. Pictures from the bar and everything. It'll be on tomorrow's front page."

"Well, erm..." began Ragnorak, sheepishly.

"Save it," said Sol, "I'm done here."

Standing up abruptly, he took off his collar mic roughly and threw it down on the sofa.

"I am not staying here to be made to look like fool in front of national television..." he could be heard to say through the other microphones as he walked off.

There was another pregnant pause, filled mainly with the sound of Uistella's ego inflating another notch.

"Well, erm, ladeis and gentlemen I apologise for that chaotic nature of what you just watched," began End as Koolhaas and Schwartz puffed out their cheeks and shook their heads slowly, "but if perhaps we could get ba- Sol?"

Storming back onto the sound stage, Kirkkegaard jabbed his finger at Ragnorak, who finally looked Kirkkegaard in the eye.

"In fact, no job is worth this. I love this job, but I have been made to look like an idiot and given absolutely no assurances whatsoever. I'm off. You can look to the future all you want from now on, Magnus, because I'm done. I'm done with the FPIFA, I'm done with the Valhallan Independent, I'm done with you. I'm done. That's it. After my contract is up at the end of the campaign, that's it. You can find a new manager."

And Sol stormed off a gain, to a stunned silence form the crew and audience.

"Sol..?" began Schwartz, taking off his own mic to follow him.

The camera cut back to a startled looking Freidrich End, desperately clinging to the instructions coming through his earpiece.

"Well, erm, I think we'd best er, cut to a highlights reel," he stammered over the loud rushing noises of microphones being disturbed and put down, "okay? Okay. Yeah, erm, I'm not sure if we'll be back after this, so, thanks for watching. Roll the clip. Now, please."

And the screen cut from the images of the confused crew and audience, to a clip of highlights from the Terns' qualifying up til that point, a clip that will repeat on rotation for the next 17 minutes until the news.

But not before viewers at home got one last glimpse of the sound stage in upheaval. That last shot before the highlight reel started, being that of a pale, worried looking, ashen-faced Magnus Ragnorak.

[Karditan]

"Look at this idiot." Dorian spun his laptop around and shoved it across the table to Pierre.

Pierre responded by swiftly moving his salad to the side and sighing. "It really is impolite to interrupt a man while he is eating. Now who am I looking at- oh, there is only one post on the screen... well, that is a very long post. And... this is in the sports section!? I have not seen a post this long outside of International Incidents, and those are laundry-lists of routine military movements and minor patrol alterations. What the bloody hell could this guy fill a 60,000 character post with that is sports-related!?"

"Scumbag reporting."

"What?"

"He has this disgusting, hairy-why did he have to elaborate on how goddamn hairy this guy was, it's like he's a goddamn Audioslavian- and low-blow prone reporter that he details every little action of. A wall of text about how he got up in the morning, scraped the grime from his pits, went to work at the office he absolutely abhors, how he plays childish jokes on all the people who are higher up on the corporate ladder on him, and just goes into such inane depth into this guy's rambling thoughts that all the readers are driven off by the third paragraph of fifteen. Most people will only read the last two paragraphs or so that are the actual match report this guy publishes, which is so extraordinarily mediocre that it makes sense why he has such a lowly position at his paper."

Pierre pushed the laptop slowly back to the other side, and looked sadly at his salad. "There goes my appetite."

"Oh, wait until you hear this."

"Merciful Luna, there's more?"

Dorian tapped at the keyboard a for a few seconds and shook his head. "Not just more, this is the worst part. He's created a game-within-a-game. Some dumbshit like NSRLNSstates, which is a game styled after RLstates that his character plays. I don't like it when people start going into these infinite-loop scenarios."

Pierre got up and grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge. "No use dealing with universe recursion while sober."

[The Babbage Islands]

World Cup 60 Qualifying

Today's match results are presented by . . .

Bison Express of Gyatso-kai:
There's one near you!

Final tables of qualifying -- pods are tomorrow and Friday!