World Cup 60: RP Thread

by **Licentiapacisterra** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:52 pm

Yet again, I’ve had the displeasure of spending my evening at Luke Thomas I Stadium in Montfort. I could have been spending that time watching theatre, as it’s the opening night of the season on Narrowway. They’re playing Romeo and Juliet in Carmadese, the old language, not this new moronised version they seem to be introducing.

The Cyan-and-Gold were playing uncultured Camwood, hoping that they could start off this campaign with their first win in qualifying. Those hopes were quieted in the second minute when Jeff Cecil’s shot was deflected past Alex Stewart by veteran defender Gordon Harrison. Jack Kerr went close to scoring in the twentieth minute, with a powerful header tipped over the crossbar by the Jays’ ‘keeper Thomas Jacoby. The half finished with a flourish, as young Lewis Naylor had a free kick that flew just over the crossbar. As the whistle blew, there was still hope amongst Eagles fans that they could pull out a win.

The second half passed largely without incident, until around the hour mark when Leonard Rossi rounded Stewart, tapped the ball into the net, and celebrated with a rather uncultured backflip. Dylan Knight had a goal ruled out for offside minutes later, though the fans and indeed replays disagreed with Kytlerian referee Dennis van Dyke’s decision. Though the Cyan-and-Gold failed to pull off an upset here, Nathan Gardiner said after the match that the team was unlucky to lose, and that they were prepared for Elstorm, even if they knew nothing about the very secretive nation’s team.

In other news, the uncultured nation of West Angola has decided they don’t like me saying that they are uncultured, which obviously means they are even more uncultured than I originally thought. Morons these days...

by **Falconwhereveryouare** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:04 pm

The Eagle's Eye
The best broadsheet in Falconwhereveryouare!
SPORTS
Get the point?

By Otis Birmingham

And with that, the Falcons have made their internation debut on the world's biggest stage!

Okay, not really. Our first opponent, Yugiohistan, was a fellow Baptism of Fire 47 contestant, though they didn't get out of the group stage. A bit more exciting than we're used to for a football game- six total goals scored, split evenly between the sides. Most of the goals on both sides can be attributed to the Falcon's narrow 3-3-1-3 formation; it makes drives easy for them, but leaves their wings wide open- and a Falcon with its wings open is an shot. The Yugiohistanian players charged right down the right sideline at around 10', making it a third of the way into the Falcon half before the midfielders finally swung over enough to give them some resistance. However, the ball was promptly launched over to the left side, where three Yugiohistan had managed to sneak up with only Hilda Braun there to hold them back. Didn't work out well. One deked out Braun quickly, then shoveled it up to the other two who charged the goal uncontested and slung it past Vladimir. The crowd at Falcon Field was subjected to what seemed to be a horrifying replay as the exact same scenario repeated itself, save the side they charged and scored from switched. It was 2-0 Yugiohistan at the half.

Our of the gate, it looked like the Yugiohistanians were planning to add to their lead off the ball in the second half. Fortunately, the Falcons had learned from the first half and set up a trap by keeping Key and Baez way outside, practically guarding the lines, while Kouzmanoff was playing far back. The wings were guarded so the Yugiohistanians simply opted to drive up the opening in the middle; the Falcons then snapped in, with Baez and Key rushing in from behind while Kouzmanoff challenged the ball handler while the defenders covered any Yugiohistanian players that had wandered their way over. Kouzmanoff ripped the ball away from a midfielder and lanced it forward through the scattered Yugiohistanians, finding Baez, who passed it up to McClain, who then passed it up to Jarrel, who pumped it into the Yugiohistanian goal. Falconians aren't much for industy, but the conveyer belt works well for our football team.

Rinse and repeat for the rest of the game, with Jarrel tacking on a second while McClain tied up the game with a few minutes left on the clock; it's rather odd how repetitive this game was. But, I guess you can't blame newer players for doing what they know. Hopefully the Falcons will be able to adapt better when facing more experienced teams. But, with that 3-3 tie, we at least ensured we're on the board.

by **Socialist States Owen** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:26 pm

FSSO cruise past Deandeadn A report by Clint Covey

Bastion Arena (Attendance: 81,094)

FSSO - 2
Sharp 10
Kane 62

DEANDEADN - 0

Lee Sharp and Kieran Kane netted for the FSSO as they cruised past lowly Deandeadn in their opening game in world cup qualifying.

The FSSO need to finish a very convincing second or top of the group to qualify for the 60th WCC World Cup in The Babbage Islands and Saugeais. The atmosphere was calm in Bastion Arena, and Ben Randall certainly looked like he was relaxed, but the FSSO needed to settle some early nerves and they did so with a well taken goal. Sam Needle latched on to a Josh Stevenson long ball and advanced forward, before poking the ball through the two centre backs to Lee Sharp, who avoided the offside trap and calmly slotted the ball past the goalkeeper. Sharp had the next chance 10 minutes later in what was a quiet game, firing the ball at the keeper from the edge of the box after a ball forward from Persa Ryans. Little else happened in the first half until Ryans had a chance of his own, striking the bar with a long range shot in stoppage time.

Deandeadn failed to make much impact on the game and to break out of their own half, and the win was secured in the 62nd minute. Kieran Kane scored the simplest of goals, tapping in a ball across the box from Stevenson with ease from 6 yards. Kane tested the keeper near the end of the match, in the 82nd minute, striking a vicious shot from 20 yards from an angle which the away teams keeper tipped over the bar. Other than that it was a dull game and a rather easy win for the home side, who can expect a sterner test when facing TaQud at home. It is expected however that the FSSO may play a weakened side for this game as they attempt to avoid injuries ahead of the key game against the Holy Empire on the 4th match day.

The Starting Lineup

1. D Belgrave
2. N Feeney
4. J Paranaya
15. G Davis
3. JA Pizza
16. K Kane
6. P Ryans
8. S Thompson
11. J Stevenson
10. L Sharp
9. S Needle

Substitutes

13. S Neeson
5. M Humphrey
19. M Robertson
12. C Dawson
7. J McCroft
14. S Xavier
17. P Fessner

by **Queer Poco el Mono Ara** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:27 pm

As the away fans clapped their team’s three points the home fans could feel aggrieved. The better side for the majority of the 90 minutes, a top 25 scalp had been theirs to claim if it weren’t for a late surge from The Whites who suddenly found their feet in Aleprennia. 75 minutes in and 2-1 down in a country nobody knew where, or how they’d even managed to get to (it clearly wasn’t a regular flight destination for Pocoans), Angel Martinez, grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and launched a thunderbolt in the direction of the home keeper from 40 yards. Dipping and swerving like something from a game of Quidditch the ball bent its way around the keeper’s outstretched arm, beyond the desperate fingers of his right hand and nearly tore the net from it’s fittings. The goal added to Abel Cain’s opener, the captain scoring in typical goal poacher’s fashion.

It was now 2-2. The game was on and The Whites, despite floundering for most of the match could smell blood in the water as the home side panicked. A searching ball, driven from left back found Vinny Landolfi, on for the injured Onwuzuruie, who attempted to control the ball on his chest. The control was off and the ball sprung forth from his chest and into the path of the oncoming Sukur. Sukur headed the ball beyond the defenders surrounding the lanky striker and into the box. Rushing on to his own pass, the Eldorado winger was now in a desperate race against the home keeper who was racing from his line, arms outstretched shrieking something akin to a war cry. Sukur narrowly won the race and had the presence of mind to square the ball to Abel Cain, who swept the ball into an open goal and secured all three points for Queer Poco.

Jubilation in the stadium, as fans no longer anticipated a long plane journey home, mourning Dean Bowyer’s poor start to the campaign, bounced up and down, singing the familiar Pocoan chants. Relief back home as fans kissed their wives and fell to their knees praising the football gods who had been on their side for the final 15 minutes.

Despite the three points, there remained an unanswered question. Who would be leading The Whites in their next fixture, in front of a demanding home crowd. Back home, the F.A. were in talks with four managers, one of whom would be in place, hopefully in time for the next game, if not, for sure would be picking the team for the next jaunt overseas.

Unfortunately, for whoever took over the hot seat from Bowyer would be without senior centre back Jeffrey Onyewu, whose persistent knee injury forced the Royal Khaldoon defender off at the half time interval. Onyewu isn’t the only member of the starting XI absent for the next game with Henry Onwuzuruike hobbling off on the hour mark with a sprained ankle.

-----

A crack followed by blinding light. It’s a fairly standard description of a thunderstorm or a bomb exploding. But to label this a thunderstorm wouldn’t be doing it justice. Nor was this an explosion. It was something beyond.

A shaft of light no wider than three feet stretched from the heavens to the ground, a strip of pure light that glowed briefly before it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared on the Pocoan horizon, leaving behind a mushroom cloud of dirt and debris that it had shook from the Earth. The surrounding woodland had been completely flattened. Ancient trees that had stood for centuries up rooted and redistributed across the woods, every blade of grass in a half mile circle incinerated, leaving only scorched Earth. And in middle of this, a young man, naked as the day he was born, curled in a foetal position. His brown hair long, and thick fell across broad muscular shoulders that led on to a powerful chest. His entire body was a roadmap of muscle and strength. Even his *a-hem* was impressive looking and despite the devastation surrounding him, he was completely unharmed, perhaps a little dusty, but aside from that, not a scratch on him. Getting to his feet, he gingerly looked around and in a deep voice uttered only a single word.

“Bollocks.”

Three miles away in the northern town of Ridgemont, this occurrence hadn’t gone unnoticed as residents saw the beam of light and heard the deafening thunderclap that had gone with it. Emergency services had been scrambled, news teams rallied and curious members of the public all made their way to the site. Most curious of those was Vanessa.

It was in her nature to be inquisitive, she was a “scientist” after all who had spent most of her career searching for answers to the unknown. The last two years of her life she had spent hunting for cryptids, home and abroad, Vanessa had been labelled a crack pot and her research ridiculed, searching for evidence of the illusive Big Foot, the mysterious Nessy and the Chupacabra (that defied even description) but she had vowed to find something. Something big and finally give a mighty middle finger to all her detractors.

by **Gyatso-kai** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:49 pm

Bisons Win; Start World Cup on the Right Foot

ONLINE EDITION

5 JUNE 2012.2

TOURNAMENT - World Cup of Football

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After months of practising in-between regular season games, the Bisons faced their first opponent in Group Three of the Qualifying Rounds for the 60th World Cup in Bitternea; where the Bisons managed a come-from-behind 3-2 victory away.

"I am just glad we came together in the second half," spoke goalkeeper Bai'a Kita, who was pulled at the 44th minute mark in the first half. "Maybe I just had a bad day, maybe I am a little tired from travelling. Nonetheless, I am happy to see us victorious."

After fifteen minutes of endless back-and-forth, it would be the Bitternean midfielder *smudge smudge* who would put the first goal on the board: Coming into the Bison zone, *smudge* would receive a long pass from defenceman *smudge smudge* before kicking the ball right over the sprawled-out body of Kita. A brief round of celebrations followed the goal, though it would be short-lived for the Bitternean side as Wakahisa Hikaru would find the perfect oppurtunity to steal the ball deep in the Bitternean zone to make a clear-open net goal on a surprised Bitternea goalkeeper in the 21st minute.

"He was so focused on the front defence," said Wakahisa in a post-match interview, "that he just didn't see me by the line. He tossed the ball out, gave it away, and just as that defenceman started to move the ball forward, I jumped in and there was the opening."

While the Bisons were able to slow down the Bitternea offence, it was simply a matter of time before they would come in and strike again; this time on the corner as a deflection from Kita richocheted in the wrong direction to the waiting head of *smudge smudge*. It would be in the final minute of the first half's play and would result in the substitution of Nishimura Ren for the younger Mandalorian keeper.

"I do not get to play often, usually only when the team is down," spoke Nishimura during the half-time interviews. "He may have the youth, but I have the experience needed to lead the team."

Upon the return to the pitch, the Bisons would continue to push into the net, driving home four shots on target before Tsukino Hachiro would sink a lone header off a Kad'e Tay'haai corner in the 58th minute. With just thirty-two minutes left in the game, both sides would continue an onslaught off attacks; out of the twelve shots taken by Bitternea in the match, seven alone would be made in the second half.

"I do not know how we survived that," stated Tay'haai. "We managed to keep them off-balance, off-foot, and even slowed down the defence enough for [A'den Skirata] to get a long shot in in the final minutes of the match."

With the next match against The Archregimacy, being hosted at the Stadium of the Republics back in Republic City, the Bisons are in for a long-haul if they do not learn to get the rhythm on in the early minutes of the game. Head Coach Boba Vhett did not look happy on the sidelines during the Bitternea match, and while we could not quite understand his words following the victory...

You can be sure they were not warm and cuddly...

Copyright 2012.2 Avatarian Sports Programming Network. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
URL: http://www.aspn.com.gk/articles/ahl/20158895
© 2012 Avatarian Sportts Programming Network

by **Camerania** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:05 pm

"Good evening, I'm Barry Norman with your World Cup update.
Last night's match was a hard fought battle by the Fightin' Commies, which ended in a draw. The Match began with a great block by captain Erik Johannson around the seven minute mark, which was unfortunately followed by a goal scored on us by West Zirconia's Alun Lydiate five minutes later. West Zirconia fought just as hard to win as we did, which is apparent in the draw, and six minutes into the second half, a second goal wass scored, casting doubt on how well we could do. Luckily just a few minutes later the game turned toward us, with Drell Marist breaking the drought with a goal sliding right into the rightt corner of the net. When it looked to be lost, just a minute before the end of the match, Marist managed to score once more, bringing us to a draw.
I know that many of us are still quite happy even though it wasn't technically a win, it wasn't a loss. I sure see this as a good sign, hopefully leading to wins later on. Matchday Two will be in just about hour, so stay tuned to see how the Fightin' Commies fare against Farfadillis. Until then, I'm Barry Norman, keeping you posted."

by **Free South Califas** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:20 pm

As the Harvest Mice prepare to build on their small successes for Corderock Week, several of the players are making South Califas's first foray into international club football.

The most successful was right striker Chidiebele Guttman, who scored two goals in Encinitas on the way to his team's 2-1 series victory in the Series B Champions' Cup. They defeated Sport Wios and will face Ewyyinna in the next round.

National team backup goalie Marita Cummings, fullback Falerina Jomphe, defense coach Artis Pariseau (fullback), attack coach Agun Stokke (halfback), backup halfback Ralf Huber, and center forward Flavio Filippa all started for their home side, Bakersfield, against Kaje Football in the Champions' Cup. Stokke scored in the 39th minute of the second leg, darting around the Kaje back line and faking out the keeper before slotting it in. It wasn't enough, though, as Bakersfield fell 5-3 in the series. They will play the West Bend Wildcats in the Preliminary Stage of the Globe Cup, with all six national team members remaining on the starting lineup.

Globe Cup action for the other Harvest Mice is already complete. Starting halfback Haidou Zhongyuan, backup keeper Christine Gonzalez, and executive assistant coach Jorja Hickey (same role) lost with their Thousand Oaks side, 4-3 to Burston Wanderers in extra time of the opening series. Haidou was involved in both goals in a 2-1 road victory, assisting the first with a corner kick and pounding home the second with a powerful shot from well outside the box. Thousand Oaks fell 3-1 in extra time at home, though. Definitely shooting for a league title next year, Thousand Oaks will continue to hire Hickey and structure their team around Zhongyuan, though Gonzalez is rumored to be eyeing a backup role with the inaugural champions Bakersfield. Haidou has two assists for the Harvest Mice.

Starting halfback Godvin Nes and backup wing forward Cao Dong accompanied their San Diego teammates to the Babbage Islands, where they were beaten 2-1 before being routed 3-0 at home. Dong scored the only goal on a header from an indirect kick. He made a few appearances in the friendlies, but didn't appear on the score sheet. Nes has scored twice for Free South Califas and notched one assist.

Finally, starting centerback Onofre Reynoso Lovato and backup midfielder Seth Stackhouse both started for Santa Maria against Adavere Koprad. Unfortunately, they lost both games 3-1 despite Reynoso and Stackhouse's stalwart defending. The rest of the team will have to improve if they hope to compete for the domestic championship and the international tournaments. In the meantime, Reynoso and Stackhouse can dedicate all their time to the national team, and Stackhouse's reputation as a defensive substitution has been firmed up in advance of Game 2 at Corderock. The Harvest Mice are excited about their relative success in the 2-0 Game 1 defeat, and are looking for at least a point in Corderock. The Corderock team are the only other unranked side in Group 12, the Group of Death. South Califas doesn't expect to advance from the group, but can't afford to drop points against Corderock if they want to make a splash.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:20 pm

Bulls on Parade
Back Down to the World with a Bang

'Champions of Atlantian Oceania' is such a satisfying phrase to say, following the name 'Audioslavia' like a the leathery galumph of a myriad soldier's boots on tarmac after a military fanfare. "And in Group 22..." as the Saugeain web-radio announcer had said, "...hotly-tipped Yesopalitha play a tough home fixture against Audioslavia, Champions of Atiantian Oceania". The suffix gives the Bulls a bit of pomp and circumstance that has been lacking from utterances of the nation's name since the olden days.

On the basis of their performance against Yesopalitha, that's probably for the best.

The Yesopalithians will point to their sweat-soaked jersies and tired limbs as proof that the Audioslavians ran them close on matchday one, but in reality the home side were allowed to play comfortably within themselves for the entire game, sticking to an overall gameplan, improvising when needed, and generally keeping posession and outplaying a blustery, artless Audioslavia. The two-goal scoreline summed up the game better than any match report could. Yesopalitha played like a winning team, Audioslavia like a losing one.

The home encounter against Traila on Wednesday week will be Audioslavia's first real chance to put some points on the board, and should act as a yardstick by which the world can measure Audioslavia's progress over the last six years. Lose or draw, and the team will effectively be written off, their place as 'fourth-favourites' for qualification taken by a Harjeland team that looked infinitely more effective than the Bulls despite a heavy-looking 4-1 defeat to a workmanlike and often disinterested Polar Islandstates.

The Polarians, second in the table after one matchday, face an encounter with Bordurian which, despite friction in the Terns' dressing room, the team are tipped to win.

IBJJ, G'NB

by **Mangolana** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:33 pm

Mangolana Gazzette

Mangolana Premier league splitting?

News has surfaced today of the Mangolana Premier league possibly splitting in two separate leagues following this years lock-out. Currently there are 18 teams in the premier league. After talks between the league and the teams broke down again today, Gordon Hampshire, owner of Dalenderain, reportedly said that he currently has 9 owners along with myself that have expressed interest along with myself in separating from this poor run league that refuses to give on both its unhealthy economic demands and its soccer demands.

Though, with the news of this today, an insider for this paper says that these feelings are being split among the power house teams from Skyline. Skyline City, who has the youngest owner in the league in the form of Zachary Sawyar who made his fortune selling the Mangolana famous This ain't no quack, goose callers, is one of the owners who support the formation of a new league in Mangolana.While on the other side of the city, parental power house Skyline United, which has dominated the league for most of its existence, is in support of working thru these problems and staying with the course.

There is no word yet that these rumors are official, but given the way the owners and the league have struggled this year, the longer the lock-out lasts, the more likely a new league is to be formed, with only one winner distend to rule Mangolana soccer.

by **Polar Islandstates** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:51 pm

Home against Bordurian. A perfect opportunity to take the group by the scruff of the neck and get off to a strong and uncompromising start. The team needed to be focused. A 4-1 away win in Harjeland was a fantastic way to start proceedings, but slip ups could not be tolerated. All the attention needed to be on the game in question. The fans needed to be 100% behind the team. A strong qualifying campaign was vital to prove to the naysayers in Audioslavia and beyond that they were wrong about the Terns. The focus needed to be what happened on the pitch, not off it.

Which is all why it was such a shame that Sol Kirkkegaard couldn't go anywhere for the past week without reporters dogging him about the contact between Ragnorak and the Citiz manager of Astograth, Powell Pieran.

"Powell is the manager of our closest international friends and rivals, I'm sure the discussion at the world cup draw was merely about the upcoming friendly, and that had I been there I would have taken part myself." Sol had said in countless interviews. He could barely breathe without a microphone being thrust his way to record the incident, and that particular answer had become almost second nature. At one pre-match press conference yesterday morning he'd been half asleep and almost recited the patter to a question about the fitness of Amadeus Irndtor like a bored schoolchild with a pre-meal grace. Fortunately he'd caught himself in time and replied in the affirmative that Amadeus had shaken off the knock that kept him out of the match against Harjeland, and that yes he would be returning to the starting lineup against Bordurian, replacing the partnership of Elmsvikur and Kvitchenko that had excelled against the Puffins.

Privately however, Sol was furious. His calm public face was far from the internal storm that was brewing inside him. He hadn't spoken to Magnus Ragnorak since the message he left after discovering the images, but tonight he would get that chance. The FPIFA chairman would no doubt be in attendance at the Nasjonale for the first home game of the qualifying campaign, and after the match Sol would get his chance to have a word. He'd studied the images. He was sure beyond any doubt that the pen in Ragnorak's hand was the special pen he kept in his inside pocket and only produced with a self-satisfied pretentious flourish when there were contracts to be signed. The pictures weren't at an angle where he could see what was on the piece of paper between Pieran and Ragnorak, of course, but he didn't like to speculate. Pieran was a talented manager, he'd won the Cup of Harmony for the Olibondeka, and his own job was on the line in Astograth. Sol was sure that the man was intelligent enough to secure a backup in case the worst should happen, but never in his dreams had he thought his own job would be the one the Citiz was aiming for. THey weren't best pals exactly, but they respected each other. Or so Sol thought.

Silently, he continued to brood in the changing room as the players got ready around him. Time after time he'd planned out what he was going to say to Ragnorak, only to change his mind just as often. The whole thing just felt so, unfair. Wasn't he the one who started the team up pretty much from scratch? Wasn't he the one who wont them their first trophy? And their second? And led them to third and fourth in the world cup? The fans and the FPIFA used to eat out of his hands, and in his last contract negotiations he could have asked for the world and would probably have received it.

But things weren't like that now. He couldn't make a single decision anymore without it being over-analysed and criticised in the press. He'd been attacked in the past after the disappointing results at the last two tournaments for his over-reliance on the shakey confidence of Amadeus Irndtor, and for setting the team out in too much of an attacking formation. According to advice given to him by his trusted assistant Joachim Schwartz, he had adjusted things for the upcoming campaign and started teaching a more counter-attacking based game that relied on the pace in the side. And then what happened? A 4-1 away win in Harjeland with two goals each for Elmsvikur and Kvitchenko, who were by all accounts the generally preferred attacking lineup if you listened to the consensus in the press, and he was still criticised for holding the team back when pundits believe Harjeland were there for the taking. They'd already won 4-1, what else did they want?

He looked at Amadeus Irndtor going through his pre-game routine. The kissing of the boots, the folding of the lucky socks. There stirred inside him a strange feeling as he followed the team into the tunnel. Not pride, as such. Defiance, maybe? He believed in Irndtor. Many others did. Even Amadeus himself did, from time to time. It was true that the ageing SK striker was maybe not at his best anymore, and that he couldn't necessarily play every game like he used to be able to do, but he was still the best fit for the formation Sol liked to play with at the moment, and that was the truth. Or, at least, it was Sol's opinion, and he was going to stick by it. Nonetheless, as he patted his players on the shoulder as he passed them in the tunnel on his way to the dugout, leaving them looking focused and attentively lined up behind captain and man-mountain Jorgen Hauge, Sol thought back to the talisman when the Terns last set the world alight.

Timo Skye. You just couldn't avoid the man coming into conversation when you mentioned the Terns. He'd captained the side to success at the Copa Rushmori, retired from international football afterwards, and ever since, the Terns had been, well, a bit lacklustre. Sol had hoped it was just the lack of a media darling in the current squad that was to blame for the lack of sizzle and fizz, but no. Perhaps having a replacement striker who'd spent all his career looking up to his hero, and trying to emulate and break out from Skye's shadow wasn't the best way of reminding the Twitchers that the man in question was no longer a part of the national side, he mused. Particularly now that Skye was back at SK, and scoring goals in the same squad as Irndtor. Not that he was anything like the player he once was, mind. And so after Sol had stood and sang through the national anthem, he clapped to the crowd as the teams disbanded and strode about their halves, and focused on his lone striker. What the poor guy needed more than anything was confidence. Sure, the press liked to make a big deal about the fact that Kvitchenko and Elmsvikur was a partnership between a Champions' Cup medal winner and a Champions' Cup runner-up, but Irndtor was a Globe Cup runner-up himself, and the guy needed to remember it. Sol hoped that going back to Irndtor after Elmsvikur and Kvitchenko had performed so well against Harjeland would give the man a burst of confidence, and inspire him to bigger and better things against Bordurian. He had to feel he was still first choice, regardless of what the press said.

As Sol sat down he idly thought that he would have preferred the same kind of reassurances from Ragnorak, and to continue to feel like he was first choice himself, but then, these things couldn't be helped sometimes. Ragnorak was a jackass, and Sol had never known the man to manage a whole campaign without doing something ridiculous. And as for that Jaffacake, well, he could keep his opinoiins to himself, thank you very much.

The stadium announcer was running through the team, each name followed by a tremendous cheer. Sol noted happily that the Ostkurven seemed more lively than usual.

"Number one, Lars Hegg Gammel!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number two, Zacharias Juul!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number three, Sander Ljungberg!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number four, Torre Urfstadt!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number five, Edvar Folke!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number six, your captain, Jorgen Hauge!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number eight, Jorgen-Franz Bru!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number seven, Jon Kjaer!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number eleven, Ole Berghaus!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"Number ten, the fantastic, Alexsandr van Sorensen!"

"YEAAAHHHHHH"

"And finally, your number nine, Amadeus Irntdor!"

"Yeeahhh..."

Well, its not that they didn't cheer. There was a cheer of sorts, but there was a distinct increase in the amount of chatter and talking in the stadium as opposed to just standing and watching the spectacle. Sol could hear the whispers around the dugout. He looked at Amadeus Irndtor. The striker shuffled his feet awkwardly and tried not to catch Sol's eye.

Sol stood up, he looked quizzically around the Nasjonale as the noise got back to normal levels slowly. He noticed a camera on the other side of the pitch change angle, and point some way above the dugout, not doubt at Ragnorak in the hospitality suite. He clenched his fists, shouted an encouragement at Irndtor, and sat down, hoping against all hope that his team choice came good.

Things were getting personal.

* * * * *

Civil Citizenry away to O-Damn. Should be straight-forward.

Neither team has a particular record for being troublesome, as far as I'm aware, and I've got a decent set of assistants with me today. Might have to ask the Blockhead fourth official to repeat himself a few times, but I'm sure I'll get used to his accent.

At least I'm well prepared this time. A nice away match somewhere far away from Rushmore means I won't get disturbed by reporters. I refereed that game for Ossidiacqua last week and the press just followed me out there. Magnus this, FPIFA that, Sol Kirkkegaard the other and Uncle Tom Cobleigh in between I'm sure. I don't know anything about the situation, I wish they'd leave me alone.

The situation is simple, either Sol is the top man for the job, or he isn't. It's not my job to make decisions like that,and why Ragnorak keeps calling me is beyond me. I have no advice on the matter. The issue is simple. Everything is, when you break it down enough.

Is it a foul, or isn't it? Did I see it, or didn't I? Did it cross the line, or didn't it? Everything is from my point of view, and as I see things. It's my decision. It's simple. People should realise this. Am I getting near the end of my refereeing career or aren't I? Simple factors will work that out for me later. Whenever it happens, it'll be for simple reasons, in a simple way. No fuss. No mess. No bother. Will I take up a position at the FPIFA when I do, or won't I? Well that depends on a whole host of different factors, all of which are simple in themselves, and which I will consider each on their own, and in their own time.

Now. Cards, whistle, watch, notebook. Check, check, check, check. Simple.

A phone call? Now? Magnus Ragnorak. No, I can't answer it now, I have to go, the players are in the tunnel.

I'm Dima Koolhaas. Things are simple.

by **Karditan** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:52 pm

Takkatatakkatakkatakkatakkata

A pillow flew across the room at the only light source and knocked Dorian Berard off his chair.
"Augh, what the hell was that for?"

"Yer bloody typin' has been gittin' on mah nerves! I'm tryin' ta sleep!"
Ivory grabbed another pillow and shoved his head under it.
"Th' hell are ya doin' on that, anyway? Yarn't takin' yer hand on a date, thank th' lord."

"Ugh. It's this game Pierre got me into called RLStates. You run your own country."

"Aye? An' what's yer country?"

"It's still small, since I just joined. It's called North Korea."

Ivory maneuvered his head out from under the pillows (the floor was covered in feathers from ones his horns had already skewered) and looked over.
"Nort'? Wha' happened to th' Sout'?"

"Oh, some other guy had created Korea by itself a while ago, but he roleplayed a civil war that split the country in two. I was browsing the forum while this happened and he said whoever created the nation of North Korea first would be his roleplay buddy, and I rushed over to make it. I'm not so good at coming up with original names, so it was a big help. The other guy was a little sad at first that it wasn't an experienced player who made North Korea, but he agreed to teach me how to roleplay properly. Right now I'm actually roleplaying my soccer team in their version of the World Cup..."

"Aye? An' how're ya doin'?"

"Not good. New nations typically struggle for a few years while they adjust themselves... but... my team is flopping like a fish out of water."

by **Civil Citizenry** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:54 pm

Domestic
Nationwide League of Championship Football Franchises

Astodon Lannies
LINEUP: N. Pounchtal, W. Wilton, J. Haslett, C. Washington, V. Piqué Amborsio, P. Wingate, H. Covington, S. Ichtyelkov, A. Blackburn, O. De Luca, A. Radcliffe
MANAGER: Soter Lomas

Athenian Towns
LINEUP: Y. Larraza, W. Bickford, R. Montgomery, J. Pidulski, R. Addison, D. Hilton, W. Sporadic, O. Yobanna, J. Reeve-Wilson, D. Nagato, S. Fulton
MANAGER: Fernleigh Whitcomb

Baker Red Devils
LINEUP: O. Carroll, D. Livingstone, C. Kirkwood, B. Nye, C. Olin, R. Dryden, T. Camelot, B. Norman, W. Bliss, M. Bloodworth, K. Chancellor
MANAGER: Tomlin Whitelaw

Bartewick Hilltoppers
LINEUP: É. Thibault, T. Patton, P. Blackburn, R. Ellison, L. Garroway, H. Tanner, K. Prescott, L. Shelleigh, U. Charleton, L. Nordin, T. Newhall
MANAGER: Slade Collier

Briarshaw Bonnies
LINEUP: P. Newman, P. Marveau-Kahn, M. Gomer-Audleigh, M. Kingman, Y. Stoddard, S. Churchill, R. Wharton, Z. Wilson, L. Hadleigh, S. Farrell, K. Bassford
MANAGER: Dean Marsdon

Briarshaw Peoples
LINEUP: J. Parr, M. Seabrook, C. Ordway, G. Ragnarsson, J. Matinzky, S. Elsworth, S. Bishop, C. Nye, E. Street, J. St. James, J. Behnke
MANAGER: Wladyslaw Bashirskaya

Cambridge Ivies
LINEUP: K. Denzil, M. Hammond, M. Allenby, B. Barclay, D. Ortega, R. Beval, F. Hernandez, B. Roxbury, B. Frey, S. Kester, G. Dell
MANAGER: Pickford Kyne

Chastings Barts
LINEUP: D. Northrup, R. Rutleigh, K. Ransom-Everard, B. Wainwright, J. Morgan, D. Truch, K. Ale'ack, P. Gifford, C.R. Cangelosi, C. York, R. Putnam-Dubric
MANAGER: Talbot Moore

Comesby Foxes
LINEUP: K. Waverleigh, P. Elder, A. Leighton, M. Leighton, D. Preston, F. America, P. Hall, S. Krause, X. Demichelis, P. Elder, B. Felton-Brewster
MANAGER: Montgomery Ingram

Eastern Chase Giants
LINEUP: S. Seabrook, Y. Mercer, S. Austin, C. Clifford, A. Kemp, D. Haden, M. Hamilton, G. Phillips, W. Stanfield, J. Cedric, L. Cobourne
MANAGER: Henderson Bolton

Eastern Chase Nationals
LINEUP: A. Filmore, S. Hibbert, M. Squire, G. Washington, S. Harden, B. Maxwell, D. Pollard-Beck, P. Sundstrom, A. Scarloff, E. Langston, W. Dudleigh
MANAGER: Reginald Deacon

Islaic Gold
LINEUP: W. Covington, P. Wilkinson, G. Ascensión, M. Wakefield, D. Saxon, O. Henderson, F. Augustin, O. Golding, M. Magyar, R. Waldo, P. Latimer
MANAGER: Nelson Hartford

Kyle Stevedores
LINEUP: B. Storm, K. Holbrook, H.H. Stanford-Wallace, W. Thormond, B. Filmore, M. Hargrove, P. Geary, J. Simmons, Y. Marsden-Holmes, F. Kent, E. Stillman-Sagar
MANAGER: Wade Turner

Merrilin Chasers
LINEUP: N. Prakusya, R. Reeve, M. Kumar, J. Maguire, J.A. Worth, H. Freeman, A. Dew, O. Hastings, B. ap Rhys, F. Whitmore, C. Ellison-Lincoln
MANAGER: Irwin Clay

Portsdan Athletics
LINEUP: C. Marte, D. Davis, E. Deacon, H. Stoddard, R. Weston, D. Quinn, B. Reading, N. Wesleigh, V. Jefferson, M. Royce, P. Carlisle
MANAGER: Marvin Grayson

Salutin Ports
LINEUP: G. Diamond, E. Upton, M. Atterbarry, A. Mckellar, B. Phelps-Newton, G. Norman, A. Guerrón, B. Guildford, F. van der Ryst, J. Abosi, S. Kingston
MANAGER: Rex Conway

Sherwood Yellow Wasps
LINEUP: W. Carroll, R. Haven, I. Jefferson, M. Touré, A. Barton, T. Chance, S. Nenci, R. Sherlock, S. Salisbury, B. Aldoaga, F. Benson-Fisk
MANAGER: Prescott Welbourne

Skyanter Infantry
LINEUP: É. Reuter, R. Roper, Osinachi, K. Yale, M. Holmes, P. Pollock, J. Sedlak, S.H. Sherman, C. Keaton, S. Gresham, J.A. Cedres
MANAGER: Fleming Beresford

Topher Graces
LINEUP: D. Szezlak, M. Read, H. Morse, G. van Zant, R. Upwood, C. Mills, R. Bolton, S. Vordsson, S. Mitchell, O. Oosthuizen, P. Bickford
MANAGER: Emmett Frey

Woodlands Lumberjacks
LINEUP: H. Tanton, J. Scoville, U. Akaregi, E. Thatcher, C. Thorndike, N. Bancroft, R. Marie, P. Sinclair, T. Freeman, R. Buck, T. Patrick-Peterson
MANAGER: Gi Han

Matchday One
Astodon Lannies 0–2 Woodlands Lumberjacks
Athenian Towns 1–0 Topher Graces
Baker Red Devils 0–0 Skyanter Infantry (0–0 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Bartewick Hilltoppers 1–0 Sherwood Yellow Wasps
Briarshaw Bonnies 0–1 Salutin Ports
Briarshaw Peoples 0–4 Portsdan Athletics
Cambridge Ivies 0–6 Merrilin Chasers
Chastings Barts 0–2 Kyle Stevedores
Comesby Foxes 0–4 Islaic Gold
Eastern Chase Giants 1–0 Eastern Chase Nationals

Matchday Two
Woodlands Lumberjacks 1–0 Eastern Chase Nationals
Islaic Gold 2–0 Eastern Chase Giants
Kyle Stevedores 3–2 Comesby Foxes
Merrilin Chasers 0–1 Chastings Barts
Portsdan Athletics 2–0 Cambridge Ivies
Salutin Ports 0–1 Briarshaw Peoples
Sherwood Yellow Wasps 0–0 Briarshaw Bonnies (0–1 AET)
Skyanter Infantry 2–2 Bartewick Hilltoppers (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Topher Graces 1–0 Baker Red Devils
Astodon Lannies 2–2 Athenian Towns (2–3 AET)

Matchday Three
Athenian Towns 0–0 Woodlands Lumberjacks (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Baker Red Devils 0–1 Astodon Lannies
Bartewick Hilltoppers 0–2 Topher Graces
Briarshaw Bonnies 2–5 Skyanter Infantry
Briarshaw Peoples 1–2 Sherwood Yellow Wasps
Cambridge Ivies 0–1 Salutin Ports
Chastings Barts 0–1 Portsdan Athletics
Comesby Foxes 0–2 Merrilin Chasers
Eastern Chase Giants 0–2 Kyle Stevedores
Eastern Chase Nationals 3–5 Islaic Gold

Current Standings

1 Islaic Gold               3    3   0    11    3   +8     
 2 Portsdan Athletics         3    3   0     7    0   +7     
 3 Kyle Stevedores            3    3   0     7    2   +5     
 4 Woodlands Lumberjacks      3    3   0     3    0   +3     
 5 Merrilin Chasers           3    2   1     8    1   +7     
 6 Athenian Towns             3    2   1     4    2   +2     
 7 Topher Graces              3    2   1     3    1   +2     
 8 Salutin Ports              3    2   1     2    1   +1     
 9 Bartewick Hilltoppers      3    2   1     3    4   −1     
10 Skyanter Infantry          3    1   2     7    4   +3     
11 Sherwood Yellow Wasps      3    1   2     2    3   −1     
12 Astodon Lannies            3    1   2     3    5   −2     
13 Chastings Barts            3    1   2     1    3   −2     
14 Baker Red Devils           3    1   2     0    2   −2     
15 Briarshaw Bonnies          3    1   2     3    6   −3     
16 Eastern Chase Giants       3    1   2     1    4   −3     
17 Briarshaw Peoples          3    1   2     2    6   −4     
18 Eastern Chase Nationals    3    0   3     3    7   −4     
19 Comesby Foxes              3    0   3     2    9   −7     
20 Cambridge Ivies            3    0   3     0    9   −9

To Much Fanfare, the NLCFF Season Begins

[maybe I'll actually write this tonight, but if not just pretend there's real text here (unless you're Saugeais, in which case this part deserves zero to minimal credit)]

International
World Cup

National Team Preview

Surely, there were some nerves going around as some forty thousand fans - not quite full capacity, but still enough to create an electric atmosphere - packed into Doman Field last night. Wladyslaw Bashirskaya was too masterful to replace, they thought. No one could calculate the movements of eleven players swiftly gliding across a massive field like Wlad could. Yeah, Lester Blackburn did a pretty good job at Merrilin, a damn good job, sure - but international football is a whole new ballgame.

Any concerns about Blackburn's ability to coach a new, relatively young team dissipated as the fans walked out of the turnstiles, more than satisfied by a 4-0 thrashing of debutantes Equatorial Sarmen. The win is one of the largest in Bakers history, and one of the largest of the first day of World Cup qualification play. Not a bad start for a team that is still trying to gel under a brand-new coach with a brand-new ideology.

"This is exactly how any team wants to start," Blackburn said in the post-game press conference, "and it's reassuring to me when my first game goes as well as this. Yeah, this team is new and really sort of a warm-up match for us as we prepare for a tough stretch coming up soon. But it makes me feel better when I know I don't need to micromanage the field: I can let my players play openly and freely, let them show off the talents that brought them to the Bakers in the first place, and that's enough to compete with some of the top teams in the world."

Some saw Blackburn's comments as a subtle jab at Bashirskaya, whose wizard-like strategy-making is known from far and wide as some of the best in the world. Indeed, his "micromanaging" guided a previously dysfunctional team to third place in the Cup of Harmony, and within penalty kicks of the World Cup twice. But Blackburn says he has nothing against the Pazhujebi, only his managing style. "I know that if I were a player out on the field, I'd be suffocated by his constant attention to minor detail," Blackburn commented. "Maybe that works in the Pazhoojooboo second division, where the talent level just isn't as good. This team is comprised of the best players this country can offer - if we don't let them play football the way they play it best, we're not playing up to our full potential."

One player who's extracted his full potential out of his career is Lester Sutton. By age 25, he was just a mid-level player in the King's League - a consistently average starter whose job security was pretty secure. Hoping to break out of the mold that is the generic first division player, he journeyed across the New World Border - so named because Astograth might as well live in a different world of culture - to play at Ituraitz FC in a quickly-rising league. With the right mix of exceptional coaching, talented role players around him, and luck, he shot out of the gates and never looked back, guiding his club to its third league title and winning the Player of the Season award. Astograthian analysts labeled his fantastic season "up there with Petter Bielsen's best" - quite a compliment for an athlete who, one year prior, was no more notable than third baseman Calder Scott from the Portsdan Cyclones. And if you don't know who he is, that's okay, neither do I, I just looked him up.

The fantastic thing about Sutton, though, is that he didn't let himself become content with that surprisingly rapid success. He suffered the typical sophomore slump, as teams zeroed on him as a target and refused to let him take advantage of defenses who were too relaxed guarding this no-name dirty Citiz. But after several seasons of molding himself into an Ituraitz fixture - no small feat considering the intensity of the Astograthiko Ligartea and its top clubs - he managed to repeat his unbelievable season. Sutton was the best player in Astograth once again, Gorriaka won its fourth title, and the sky was again its normal shade of blue.

The first PotS award was enough to make the Bakers squad for good. The second vaulted him into the starting lineup. No one is regretting that decision by Blackburn (not that it was much of a decision at all; Sutton is more than qualified for the starting rotation). Sutton, normally content to find his strikers in perfect position for goals, scored twice himself in the victory over Equatorial Sarmen. And added an assist too, as if the team truly needed it.

The Bakers' upcoming match with O-Damn should be an easy three points, no more difficult than the match at Doman Field, even if this one will be away. While Blackburn certainly does not want to get over-confident after just one game on the job, he's obviously looking ahead to the tougher stretch ahead: a home match with those rival Allamunnics, followed by a return to Wimbley to face off with Bears Armed, which will be clawing for blood after suffering a horrendous 3-0 loss to Civil Citizenry last time these two teams met in a World Cup qualification match.

by **Darmen** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:56 pm

Tor Tong Lee stepped off the plane as he returned from the teams latest match against Kiryu-shi. Lee's Coach, Tim O'Donahaue stood next to him. It was evening, and the sun was only just begining to set behind the mountains, but the photographer's and jouranalist's camerea flashes were still bright enough to force one to squint.

Lee began making his way down the steps, and joined his other teammates on the tarmac. He glanced around at the other members of the team. Each one had a smile on his face, which was fitting, especially after their 2-0 victory against Kiryu-shi on the road. Bryan Faulkner, who had scored both goals in the victory, including one that Lee had set up himself, and Zach Preston, the former Captain, who was begining to think about retiring, and trying his hand at coaching, had two of the biggest smiles. Both were starters for Scott City FC, reigning Darmeni Premier League, and Darmen Cup Champions. Upon seeing Lee standing alone, they approached him, their smiles becoming even larger.

"Well Lee," said Faulkner first, "Preston and I hear that you wanna leave the Whitecaps. That true?"

"Maybe," answered Lee apprehensively, as he wondered what his fellow teammates were on about.

"How would you like to play with us, in Scott City?" asked Preston.

"Ummm..."

"We're building up a dream team for next season. One year anniversary and all for the DPL," said Faulkner, who wasn't wearing his gameface anymore, but rather the face of a salesman.

"Ummm..."

"We've got a ton of great players," said Preston, "and you'd be a great addition. Our Midfield would be stacked!"

"Ummm..."

By now a new face had joined the group, and it was that of Georges Thomas, former Manager of the National Team, and current President of the Darmeni Soccer Federation. He also just happened to be the Owner and Chairman of Scott City Football Club.

"Lee, I'm not trying to pressure you into joining us in Scott City," said Thomas, as both Faulkner and Preston grew huge grins on their faces, "but we've really got a great team, and you'd be a great addition. So how 'bout it?"

"Ummm... well Sir, I've got seven seasons left on my contract with the Whitecaps. But with Tim Hedjuk leaving after the Globe Cup, I wouldn't mind playing for a team that can actually win. And after our dismal performance in the Darmen Cup, I think it might be best if I leave soon. But I kinda wanted to go back to Eau Claire and the Aris."

"Lee," said Thomas, as he put his arm around Lee's shoulder, "Those boys in Eau Claire got lucky when they won the League title. Half of our squad now is made up of players from national sides, Darmeni, Sargossan, West Cuban, Camian. We've even got a yound Erathi player, and he's pretty good." Thomas pulled Lee to the side, and waved Faulkner and Preston away. "Listen Lee. If you want to win a title before you turn 30, your gonna have to join us in Scott City. We're the only team with a legitimate chance to win the league title. Here's my number, make sure to give that to your agent. The season's not gonna start for another couple of days, so take some time, think it over."

Thomas smiled, and the two shook hands. Lee couldn't help but notice the journalist that was standing only twenty feet away. Lee turned and glared at him, while the journalist scrambled to get his camera aimed at Lee's face. As soon as he had Lee's scowl in his lense, Lee began to smile. The journalist cursed, while Lee yelled, "So long, sucka!"

by **Saugeais** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:00 pm

Keeping the qualifying train rolling, let's go ahead and cutoff the RPs for Matchday 2. Scores up in a bit.

Scores

by **Farfadillis** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:06 pm

The Ferdullaele Post
Sad debut, which still tastes like a win.

Let's be honest, no-one expected Farfadillis to win AWAY against Cafundeu, a much better team than ours. But our team played very well and even though we couldn't get that 1 point which was at the grasp of our hands, we're still pretty happy with our country's performance.
Specially, with what O'rosso did. We were losing 3 - 0 by halftime, but he scored two free kicks by bending it past the barrier on the 80th minute and the 87th minute. Still, it wasn't enough, and to be fair, Cafundeu deserved to win as they completely destroyed our defense on the first half. Also, I'd like to highlight Chinsúa's performance after replacing Saindí, who went out injured after the 30th minute. He did so well defensively Cafundeu couldn't score after he entered the field. Sadly, Chinsua and O'rosso weren't enough, as football is played by 11 and not by 2, and we ended up getting defeated, but for a debut, it taste like a win.

Man of the match:
Matí O'rosso
He scored 2 free kicks and generated many goal occasions which were poorly executed mainly by Fragerda. Whenever he got the ball, we knew something was going to happen, a goal, an assist, a foul, a corner kick, something. He was indeed the best player on the field.
10/10

Flop of the match:
I7imund Bujkanovic
He didn't do anything AT ALL, he missed every pass, he couldn't dribble a single player, he was responsible for the foorst goal, and like if that wasn't enough, he made us lose 2 points by missing a golden opportunity right under the goal and without a keeper (he missed the ball)
2/10

In conclusion: The team in a whole didn't play really well, but it played much better than expected, specially O'rosso and Chinsúa (who I think will replace Saindí quickly after the end of this World Cup.

On a side note: Saindí will be able to play against Camerania.

OOC: I7 is actually a letter on farfadillis' language, it's ponrunced "th" like in "they".

by **New Pebble Island** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:40 pm

Pre-game, Locker Room, President's Speech
"Guys, tonight is another hurdle. It was like this in the Baptism of Fire, we just have to keep jumping them until we have reached the end. Luisito nees to recover from the bullet wounds from those damn soldiers, oh that reminds me, did anyone else see Reed and Juanito down the attack helicopter? That was amazing! Noone in the military could pulled that one off. Tonight we start with a man down, so we must play extra carefully, we cannot let up for a second! We have all read about this team! We are prepared! While they have been playing professional football for years, we have the hearts like we have been playing for decades! Lets show that we can play through anything! Lets show this team, Lets show these fans, LETS SHOW THIS TOUREMENT, that we, together, are STRONGER when we are weakened! A man down should NEVER hurt us. It should INSPIRE us! We are New Pebble Island! Survivors of the War, Survivors of the Hate, We are the last line, my brothers. WE ARE NEW PEBBLE ISLAND."

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:58 pm

Yi Geun-Ho glanced at his ticket. It was clad in a super-polished piece of parchment paper containing weird icons. The funny thing is that these tickets weren't issued by the Monks of the Dreamed Realm. Marshal Wang decided that it would have been nice to issue these tickets to the players and selected visiting fans (mostly consisting of military officers and distinguished guests of the Imperial Council). It was a far cry from the rickety plane ride to DSE; the plane crashed twice en route to the match, and they still managed to win by a clear two goals. Defensive work still needed to improve though. Against Achtervolging (another 2-nil win for the rapturous home crowd of crickets), the back line surrendered too many shots on goal from crosses, simply because the lead strikers were a clear 10 cms taller than the tallest Han player. Fortunately, Yang Gun was really having a storming game (rather, storming games - of course, he actually has experience) and blocked every one that came his way. Then, there was profligacy, the ever blessed post, and the once-in-a-while save from the iron-hands (literally, I suppose - he wears his old smithing gloves while tending the net) of Choi Jun-Hee. Of course, there was the ever-present fear in Geun-Ho's mind that Yang Gun would recall his days as a goalkeeper and stretch his hands out to block a shot... that would be a bad day, indeed.

He turned over to Kim Jeon-Min. He was officially the military liaison with the Imperial Squad, unofficially the assistant for the team. They were stuck with these hapless heroes, selected after weeks of scouting over thousands of km across the whole breadth of the Empire, from the frigid north to the tropical south, from the farthest west to the sands of the east. And no matter how much they wishes they could just reach over the Han diaspora that had intensified after years on conflict in the homeland, the Imperial Council felt that it was best to demonstrate the "excellence" of the Han - it sounded like some neo-Confucian school of juche... Geun-Ho handed Jeon-Min his notebook, on which he had drafted some thoughts about how to improve the training for the team. "It's patently obvious we're struggling with headers," he remarked.

Jeon-Min scoffed. "What do you want me to do? Give them a growth elixir and make them grow a few centimeters? We're Han, we're supposed to be short. The fact we have someone over 190 cms is a miracle."

"It doesn't have to be that way, and I'm not about to suggest that we cheat. Not that there's any specific rule against it, but we're stuck with short people. We need to get players who are unafraid to challenge for those aerial balls. Because quite frankly, there's nothing preventing an army of giants from playing tennis all day and holding the ball. Have you thought of that?"

"I'm not paid to think," Jeon-Min replied. "I just do. What do you want me to do?"

"When we get to the Dreamed Realm, we're going to practice headers and jumping. More than scoring goals, passing, or whatever - we're pretty good at that. I mean... it's satisfactory, because we're going to be passed to death out there anyway, but headers - we need to get ferocious out there."

"Alright, I'll get some rabid badgers and a tank full of electric eels."

That wasn't the response Geun-Ho was hoping for. "What?!?"

Jeon-Min shook his head as if dismayed by his compatriot's confusion. "The badgers are for the heading exercise. Of course we'll win the headers against the badgers, but they're still going to be afraid to win the balls against the pesky critters. If they can charge a rabid badger, they can charge a 10-meter giant and win the ball. And the electric eels are for the jumping. If they can jump far enough, they'll clear the tank. Otherwise, they'll get shocked. It worked in boot camp - we could clear a 3.2 meter pool full of those buggers without a scratch, all of us."

Geun-Ho scratched his head. "Well, as long as it gets us the results we need... I can't say that's a very orthodox thing to do..."

"Come on, the only way to do things is if you break orthodoxy every once in a while, if only to show just how bad the 'right' way is." Jeon-Min stepped away momentarily from the rest of the team. Geun-Ho noticed this about his friend, and at times thought it was peculiar but dismissed it as just "getting some fresh air." But this was not more than 5 minutes away from the team departure to the Dreamed Realm. Where did he need to go? And without telling anyone? What if he was left behind?

Nevermind that, he told himself. Get the line-up. He opened up his notebook again and took a glance at his notes for his lone striker: Yim Hwan-Sei was a scrawny 14-YO kid who had explosive pace. Remarkable story about him, he was recruited from a mountain village, a clear thousand kms away from Yonghae - the capital of Hokyong Province. When he had heard of the news, he grabbed his father and ran for three days just to get to the recruitment offices. It was determination like that that convinced Geun-Ho that this kid was a keeper. Of course, there was the three hour discussion with the father, and a timely "stipend" payment to the father for the lost time Hwan-Sei would normally contribute to farming the ginseng hills. So far, he has repaid all of that with a nice return of three goals in two matches. The fact that this kid is so explosively fast makes him hard to mark, and since they've been working on his technique (Jeon-Min told him to juggle a bowl of rice... in three days, the kid juggled every grain of rice in the bowl with his bare feet...), he's turned into a speeding bullet. Geun-Ho smiled as he read the note after the Achtervolging match: "THIS KID WILL BE A SUPER STAR". Of course, his task as head coach was to keep the media attention away from this kid - the moment the other teams looked up at his talent (and skills), they'd either try to mark him more closely or deal with him in more "subtle" ways. And this kid is an unremarkable teenager - prone to the manipulations of a few malevolent intentions.

He scribbled a few thoughts on the margins. "Keep giving him the ball - he will find the net". He heaved a sigh as the Monks prepared to escort the team to the Dreamed Realm. At least there's no chance any one is getting injured on this trip.

by **Taeshan** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:41 pm

"Now that was just sad."

"Yeah kinda makes me want to..."

"Break into song."

"Yeah."

"I hate the whole world."

Switch scene to volcano.

"Its molten lava."

Switch scene to math class

"All the Derivatives."

Switch to soccer field.

"When the other team scores."

Switch to baseball field.

"When the ball is overthrown."

Switch to the plains of bomont.

Ren"When i can't dance a dance."

Switch to fat camp.

"When i can't eat my food."

Switch to tv station.

"I hate wardrobe malfunctions."

Back to original.

"I just hate this world."

"Yeah me too."

by **Farfadillis** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:44 pm

The ferdullaele Post
O'rosso Again!!
It was a tough match, we were 1 - 0 down against Cameronia, all hope was lost, it was the last minute of the aggreagate (4 minutes), we were going to lose again. But something happened, some may call it a miracle even. O'rosso took the ball, driibbled 2 players, entered the box, dribbled the keeper and was left without a chance to score, but he suddenly fell to the floor (diving, presumably) and the referee gave a penalty which O'rosso exchanged for a goal by scoring it a Pannenka-Style. We got 1 point out of nothing. This time, the team played overall better than against Cafundeu. Bujkanovic (who had played horribly against Cafundeu) was vital to stop Cameronia from advancing on the midfield and Frêndê was very good when dribbling players and starting counter-attacks. And, obviously, O'rosso played another beautiful match, even though he actually dived on that last opportunity, but this time he was different, he played on a more defensive way, and to be honest he's not cut for that. In spite of the awkward position in which he played, he managed to get to the opponent's box via dribbling and creating opportunities along with Numbá. Cameronia played better, but they couldn't get the much wanted 3 points.

Man of the Match.
Matí O'rosso
He got us 1 point out of nothing, he played as usual, and even though he was a bit selfish today, he's still on an almost perfect form. Also, that Pannenka-Style penalty was magical.
9/10

Flop of the Match
Neguimbelefra Fragreda
He didn't play that bad actually, he was well stpoped by Cameronia actually and simply couldn't do much because of his slowness, regardless of his technique. He was caught in a stupid offside which anyone would've scored. That's why he's on this section.
4/10

by **Qazox** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:52 pm

"Good afternoon. Ladies and gentlemen, for years the research into the early days of Qazox' founding by Goran Oxfield has yielded little definite information about the man or the circumstances that led to his discovery of Qazox as the first European to set foot upon these shores. Though most of the audience knows the currently accepted history of the founding of Qazox, I will recapitulate it here for those who may not be as familar with it, and to set the stage, so to speak, for my discoveries.

On July 2nd, 1443; Goran Oxfield and an ox, named Joe; were washed ashore due to a shipwreck that occured off of what is now Sativaville. Oxfield washed ashore near what is modern day Rockport and was found by the natives of the area, the Qazians. He was taken inland to the tribal homelands near modern day Gothika. He spent the next 15 months living amongst the Qazians and was one of the first to meet with Charles Feld when Feld landed near SaxerVilla in September 1444. Feld and Oxfield had known each other as shipmates on the HMS Carp in the early 1440's; and between the two men, an agreement was reached with the Qazians to allow Feld to build a settlement.

In either December 1444 or January 1445, Oxfield married into the Qazian tribe, marrying the 2nd eldest daughter of King Signa-Ke (Signa the 6th), Signa-Valre, or better known by her Anglicized name Valerie Oxfield. Over the next 5 years, the Oxfields had 3 children, Henry (Hoofaran) born December 1445; Charles born February 1446 and died March 1448; and Maria-Selene born 1450. The English settlers accepted Oxfield as the nominal leader of the settlement, though Charles Feld had funded the expedition. Feld returned to England in 1447, claiming to return with more settlers and more supplies that the colony needed. Feld would not return until August of 1456, delayed mostly due to the deaths of the English monarchs and various legal problems. By the return of Feld, the colony had reached a population of 720 up from the original 163 settlers that came in 1444. For twelve years, the colony had grown under Oxfield's leadership and with his marriage into the Qazian tribe, the relations between the colonists and natives were mostly friendly.

When Charles Fled returned to SaxerVilla, as the colony had now called itself, he bore a royal charter decreeing that he was to become the Governor of the Colony, with a letter signed by Henry VI, confirming the proclamiation. The colonists, having been unruled by any Monarch directly for a dozen years, denied the charter and called upon Goran Oxfield to help settle the matter. By this time, after spending 10 years with the colony, had moved back into the Gothika area with his family and the Qazian tribe. On September 11th, 1456, Oxfield came back to SaxerVilla to meet with Feld, presumably to settle the matter. After spening most of the day in negoations, the two men broke the talks off for the night, and Oxfield went to a friend's house to spend the night, one Gareth Humbolt. During the night, Goran Oxfield died, at the age of 43. Upon his death, there was little that the colonists could do to prevent Feld's charter form being enforced, and the Colony of Qazox as offically founded on the same day Goran Oxfield was buried.

That narrative is what us Qazoxians have been told for over 550 years about the founder of Qazox, Goran Oxfield. While most of it is true, there is but one big error in the historical narrative: There never was a person named Goran Oxfield. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the founding father of Qazox never existed. There was a person who founded Qazox, but not in 1444 nor in 1456; but in 1430, a full 15 years before the historical fiction of "Goran Oxfield" was created by the decendents of the true founder of Qazox. The founder of Qazox did not come from England, but from France. Her name: Joan of Arc."

(ooc: just bare with me please)

by **United Gordonopia** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:16 pm

#Nationalteam, intrachat.ug
Official IRC Channel of the Gordonopian National Team

[00:08]<Toltn_wst> Comon, blow the whistle already!
[00:08]<Toltn_wst> It's been at least 4 minutes... ref said two didn't he?
[00:08]<frwrx7> THERE WE GO!!!! UPSET BITCHES!!!
[00:08]<Nukydd> Thse anal-ysts are gunna have such a grate time explaneing how a unraked tm beat 6 in the wrld.
[00:08]<FBall_fan9> Hell yeah! Who woulda thought
[00:08]<AUTOUPDATE> has changed the welcome message: Last match, 2-0 victory over Valanora
[00:09]<nrthrner> <Nukydd>: Thse anal-ysts are gunna have such a grate time explaneing how a unraked tm beat 6 in the wrld. < That might have been the worst spelling I've ever seen in this channel... and you somehow even tried to make an anal pun...
[00:09]<nrthrner> Anyways, I'm going to have to say that Tobias goal in the 34th has got to be probably his best ever. How many guys can get around 4 vanorians unassisted with no passing options and then cap it all off from fifteen out from hos off foot?
[00:09]<GFC4lf> Ya, that was pretty damn impressive.
[00:09]<Toltn_wst> How bout that goal from Dieti in the 71st? Assist by Odell to make it even better
[00:09]<Halifax> After Odell's hat trick last match, I was afraid he'd nvr give up the ball. Thankfully, I'm wrong, and we're all awarded with a goal.
[00:10]<Nukydd> Goddammit nrthrner, don't be a grammer commie
[00:10] -moderator- has kicked user:Nukydd for [blasphemy]
[00:10]<FBall_fan9> -moderator- has kicked user:Nukydd for [blasphemy] < lol
[00:10]<GFC4lf> Well, I guess I spoke too soon about Strauss.
[00:10]<frwrx7> Yeah, same. Really came through today, didn't he? They probably had three more shots on goal than we did. If the old guy hadn't been there, no way we'd be celebrating right now.
[00:10]<Halifax> I thought for sure that header in like the 20th or something from Hawk was going in. Luddy's middle finger was probably the only thing that saved us.
[00:10]<FBall_fan9> Yeah, I had the same feeling. I really didn't want to go down 1-0 in only 20 minutes, even if was to such a damn good team.
[00:11]<Halifax> Feel you bro.
[00:11] user:Nukydd has joined the channel
[00:11] -modbot- has kicked user:Torisx1x for [kicked in last 12 hours]
[00:12]<GFC4lf> I'm pretty happy myself that GFC subs pulled through. After Lawson got that yellow card in the 4th, I knew it'd be one of those games for him. Smart that they pulled him at half. Even better for me that they put Hans-Beck in.
[00:12]<frwrx7> Dude, it's a bit weird having no GFCs, hell, no capitol players on the starting 11. Back in 49, weren't three of the guys GFC, plus another guy from city?
[00:13]<GFC4lf> Yeah man, things change a lot.
[00:13]<Toltn_wst> Things really have changed. Three guys on the starting 11, plus another reserve, signed to a foreign team? Guys from Willingham in reserve? Just about the only thing that's the same is the fact that Deska still makes up half our defense

[00:13]<frwrx7> Reppin the north
[00:13]<nrthrner> Naw man, you'd be reppin the north if there were Alliance guys on the squad. You're more like reppin the mountains or something like that.
[00:14]<frwrx7>

[00:14]<frwrx7> Well, we're playing another fellow unranked team next week. Watch us lose to them and have our record against unranked be 0-1-0, while our only win comes from 6 in the world, lol
[00:14]<Halifax> Well, they tied the same guys we did last matchday, 1-1 this time. Though they lost to cyborg holland the game before. I'd certainly give us better odds than we had today.
[00:15]<FBall_fan9> Yeah, what was the scoreline this game supposed to be again? Guardian had it at Valanora 3-0, i think, and you can't get a more pro-empire paper than that.
[00:15]<GFC4lf> Well, I gotta say, this match was a hell of a lot better than any in 49. Peace all.
[00:15] user:GFC4lf has left the channel
[00:15] user:Torix1x has joined the channel
[00:15] -modbot- has kicked user:Torisx1x for [unknown IP]
[00:16]<frwrx7> That guy again? Thought we were finished with Torisakians... at least until the last leg.
[00:16]<nrthner> Lol, same.

by **Jedi8246** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:32 pm

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Hello folks. I'm Logan Dale, bringing the Fenris Sports Corner. We begin with news of the World Cup. The first match ended not unexpectedly with a 3-6 loss to Akbarabad. It wasn't surprising, though disappointing to occur at home. The score though hurt a bit. The Wyverns defense played quite rusty, not up to their usual level of play. We did manage to sneak in 3 goals though. The second game delivered a more pleasing result of 1-0. We played against Alexanderburn at their home. The Alexanderburn team played a solid defense, but couldn't hold up against the fast Wyverns. Our defense played at the level appropriate. Our next few games should provide easy wins if all goes well. They are lesser teams, not quite to the caliber of Jedi8246. Stay tuned after the break for updates on the upcoming Hockey National Championships."

by **New West Guiana** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:14 pm

"Well, one thing is for sure with two matches down for once West Guiana Soccer is showing that the can be a challenge to overcome this time around, god knows we might have a chance if we continue to work hard. We tied Carmadin a team that is ranked forty-third overall and that is something to brag about I must say." Temist says as he watches the highlights of that scoreless match, "Two games down twelve to go, well Miss DeAnn you're right we shouldn't let this great start to overwhelm us. We're 1-1-0 and currently first in Group 11, that right there is getting some fans going, never before has team WG been in first during any stage of the qualifying round. But I will make sure my team does not get cocky."

Sipping some iced tea, DeAnn places the cup down on the table, "Well if you keep this up you're going to keep the job, even if you retire. I do hope that we at lest remain first in the group through out the Qualification, we end number one West Guiana Soccer advances to the World Cup proper. One hell of an achievement that would be, I think President Samuels would throw you a parade through downtown Gemsbrook for just getting the team and the nation that far."

Smiling over that thought, "Well Smauels shouldn't get so carried away, even the most loyalist fans knows that this is just the start, even if we miss the pod knock-offs by one place. Getting that far will be an achievement, but lest just savor this tie against Carmadin for now this is a great day to be part of West Guiana. After the group draw I don't think anyone saw as a major threat, maybe a minor one but that's that. Well Carmadin's have been placed on notice that we mean business."

"So Mr. Temist what is your plan for Star United States?"

Well DeAnn the same we had against Carmadin, play hard until the last whistle. Play with all you got don't ever quit of give up. Like you said they've got to play with 120% during the entire game, and if that can be done the results will be good, something for once we can cheer about and feel like we did something amazing." Shutting his cell phone off, and walking over to the skyline of the city at night, "So how do you think we'll do against Star United States? Win, loss or tie."

Shaking her head, "Well i'd like to see another win come out of you and your team, that would keep giving us more points overall and maybe keep us in first in the group. A win will be very nice and the board might think about keeping you..if you don't retire first."

Raising his head and looking up at the moon peaking out though the clouds, "Even now, it seems like i've done the impossible and landed on the moon. It seems immature so quick and sudden that we've accomplished so much in so little time. But the question is that moon landing real or just a delusional thought running through my head?"

"It depends if you think that it was real, from this stand point you're still on the launch pad waiting for the count down clock to start. It may seem un-real, because it isn't real. You shouldn't let your eagerness for better standings get the best of you, that is how teams falter. They get cocky and think they've already landed on the moon, when they realize the moon wasn't the goal, the goal was Mars. Don't land in the wrong place, keep aiming higher even if you think you're running low on gas." Standing in the doorway DeAnn takes a piece of paper out of her handbag, "Oh here's the group standings, but don't let the looks of it get to you, keep aiming higher like I said, don't stop premature, that will result in failure, failure of your goals, failure as a team and failure to the country. Good night Mr. Temist"

Group 11
Nikopolis 1–1 Star United States
West Guiana 0–0 Carmadin
Dorian and Sonya 1–0 Princess Beatrice Island
Quaoartarian Empire 1–1 Nicole Scherzinger

- Group 11                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 West Guiana                           2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
2 Carmadin                              2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
3 Quaoartarian Empire                   2    1   1   0     5    1   +4     4
4 Dorian and Sonya                      2    1   1   0     2    1   +1     4
5 Nicole Scherzinger                    2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
6 Star United States                    2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
7 Nikopolis                             2    0   1   1     1    5   −4     1
8 Princess Beatrice Island              2    0   0   2     0    3   −3     0

by **Jeruselem** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:22 pm

Somewhere in Meshkete, after Jeruselem beat Meshkete 2-0 on match day 2

Kissy: Hey Melody, can borrow some money?
Melody: You broke again?
Kissy: No, I never carry enough around.
Melody: You only do that do you don't spend too much.
Kissy: Well, yes. But anyway ...
Melody: Don't you have a credit card?
Kissy: No ...
Melody: What's wrong with you
Kissy: Nothing, I manage my money well.
Melody: Then why no credit card?
Kissy: I don't need one.
Melody: Anyway, what you buying?
Kissy: Something for the warddrobe.
Melody: Isn't that generally one colour?
Kissy: Hey, I don't always wear pink.
Melody: Yes, but why Green?
Kissy: Hey, that's me.
Melody: I don't forget these things. You have to pay me back, I'm not a charity.
Kissy: I suppose
Melody: Hey, you owe Mum money too.
Kissy: Oh yes. oops.
Melody: Just get yourself a credit card please.
KIssy: Umm ....

by **The Fanboyists** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:02 pm

Disaster struck; the entire Allamunnic soccer team went missing, pretty much into thin air. In a panic, and needing to field a team to face Bears Armed in Thomasburg, a local high-school soccer team volunteered to face off against the Ursines (and whatever human minority had made its way onto the team).

In case anybody didn't already realize this: it wasn't pretty. The Bear team hung five goals on the hapless high schoolers, who somehow, despite being completely over-matched, managed to score a single goal in the 76th minute. The game was thoroughly unpleasant, and everyone left the stadium wondering where the hell the actual national team had wandered off to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wilhelm Schroeder woke with a gasp, finding himself bound in a dungeon with the rest of the team, in varying states of consciousness. A hooded figure stood before them, holding a knife in one hand, and a book of some forbidden lore in the other.

"I see you've awaken, soccer-manager," the figure said in a silky male voice. "We would have woken you sooner, but you seemed so comfortable, and it didn't seem terribly nice to disturb you so. Now that you are awake, we can begin our business." The soccer team's manager simply gaped, too confused to be scared about being tied up in a dark dungeon.

So instead of pleading or hurling defiance at his captor, the only thing that escaped the coach's mouth was a confused "Wha--?" The figure, entirely through body language and posture, looked vaguely annoyed. It stuck the knife into a belt, and snapped the book shut.

"For fuck's sake, coach, you could at least act like a helpless captive." All he got was an even more confused expression. "We're going to be replacing you with the beings we serve. The Black Beast with the Seven Pancrei-- is it 'pancreaii', or is it 'pancreases'? What the fuck is the plural of pancreas? anyways, it had dibs on being the coach, so he's going to want to interview you on how to do the job."

Beside the bound coach, Derrik Leifsson, the striker, had regained consciousness and had been listening to the conversation in some mix of vague horror, amusement, and utter confusion. "You guys are like the worst cultists ever," Leifsson blurted out.

He had a point; when they'd been building the lair, apparently "flickering torches" had been hard to come by, so Christmas lights had been put up in their stead for illumination. It gave the Dungeon of Terror a somewhat festive touch, the cultist thought. Light cast under his hood illuminated his face enough for the two to see him roll his eyes. "Lord knows I try," he said, sighing. "But it's sort of hard, okay. I was working with this other cult, and I got a job offer to be a head zealot here, and I didn't read the contract carefully, or I would have known I had been assigned to the fucking Ancient Horrors of the Soccer Pitch." He sighed again. "Next time I'll read the contract more carefully. I mean, I don't even like soccer. I've always been a hockey guy, personally." He seemed to rally. "But, Mister Leifsson, since you're awake, the Vaguely-Unpleasant-Looking-One wants to talk to you about strategy for forwards. Got to hand it to the thing, it's at least been doing its research."

He sighed again. "I wouldn't have even bothered if I'd known how frustrating it was going to be, trying to replace you all with the most unthreatening gang of Eldritch Abomination-rejects I've ever even heard of. But my job's my job." And, with that, he introduced the two to their replacements and got to work.

As it happened, the Black Beast with the Seven Pancreases looked like a jet-black cow with a sort of bulging stomach and a constant craving for sugar to use up all the extra insulin it was producing. It didn't matter that that wasn't how bodies actually worked; it was a-vaguely-sinister creature from another universe; it had no way of knowing otherwise. Oh, and it had tentacles. one on each side, and one in place of a tail. It had three eyes; two of them were in the normal place for a cow, but one was on its chin. Oh, and instead of hoofs, its legs ended in human feet.

"Greetings, mortal," came an unearthly voice. "I am --" and it pronounced a word that was utterly unrenderable in any known human language. "And I will be taking your place as the national soccer team's manager," it continued. "So I need to know how to do your job."

Schroeder nodded and said "I can do that, although I'm still not sure you're real, and that I'm not just going to wake up at any second." So, Schroeder told the Black Beast with the Seven Pancreases how to be a soccer manager, although what he told it will be left vague so as to cover up me, the author's, utter lack of knowledge about soccer.

When he had finished, the B.B.w.t.S.P. nodded its head, and released Schroeder from his bindings. "Thank you, mortal. It was most illuminating. As thanks for your cooperation, please feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge." And with that, it sort of plodded off in another direction, leaving an extremely confused soccer manager.

World Cup 60: RP Thread

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The Harvest Mice in international club competition

Qazoxian Historical Society 112th Annual Meeting (part 3)

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