This Issue is based on the revelation that Hugo Chavez has cancer.
Name: A Pain in the Rear Cries Out in Pain
Validity:
For nations with excellent healthcare and/or life expectancy and/or a medical industry and/or advanced technology. Basically, the nation needs a good healthcare score.
Not valid for nations which outlaw capitalism and not valid for nations without a private sector. Not valid for nations that do not have ANY healthcare and not valid for nations where people die really young. Not valid for anarchies. Not valid for Marxist nations.
Description:
Maxtopia’s dictator, @@RANDOMNAME@@, has recently been diagnosed with an early stage butt cancer. His nation is too poor and corrupt to provide the needed medical care to save him. Without any other option, he turns to the healthcare system of @@NAME@@, which is fully capable of saving him. Despite all the things he has said and done to the nation, he hopes the government will let him in.
Options:
[option]”Ahh, @@LEADER@@, My best friend, it good to see you!” says the dictator over a video conference to your nation. “Listen. I've got problem in rear that needs removing. You have doctors to do it, no? I sorry for calling @@NAME@@ and your people spawns of Devil and stuff, and I sorry for nationalizing your investments here. That just water under bridge now! Please heal my booty! Maxtopia needs her leader and guide back! I promise I not mock you anymore! Maybe.”
[effect]despite all he did to @@NAME@@, @@NAME@@’s greatest doctors have humbly and literally saved the butt of the leader of one of their greatest enemies
[stats]Compassion way way way way WAY up by huge amounts, Most Avoided down, Kindness up, Peace up, Diplomacy up, Healthcare up, Most Extreme down, Happiness down (most people won’t like this), nation is seen as “softer”, government becomes slightly more liberal/leftist
[option]”Heh heh heh. How fitting!” quips @@RANDOMNAME@@, a proud citizen of your nation. “It looks like Maxtopia’s healthcare isn't good enough for the man that praises it day and night! You know what I say? SCREW HIM OVER! That’s what! He made that bed of poverty, now he’ll sleep in it! He’s stolen our companies and slandered our country, now he’s getting it. Isn't Karma GREAT?”
[effect]the nation laughs and mocks enemy nation’s leaders when they become terminally ill and suffer great pain
[stats]Compassion slashed, Patriotism/nation-supremacy up, nation is deemed more “mean”, nation becomes more isolated, Corruption slightly up, Conservatism up
[option]”Maxtopia’s leader has butt cancer?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your military generals. “EXCELLENT! @@LEADER@@, this will create a perfect power vacuum for our nation’s military to exploit. I propose immediate round-the-clock butt patrol. When he dies, we’ll be there before they pick out the casket. THEN WE RUN HIS COUNTRY OVER! BOOM! Think of the resources, the boost to the economy!! THE WEAPONS I GET TO TRY OUT! Annexation! Annexation! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!”
[effect]the government stands on a death watch, waiting for its neighbors’ leaders to die so they can annex them in the ensuing power vacuum
[stats]Compassion nearly vanishes, Annexation/Militarism/Imperialism up, Patriotism/nation-supremacy up, extremism way up, Defense/Military way up, Economy somewhat up (annexation follows), Extremism way up, Nation seen as more cruel, Authoritarianism up, nation becomes power hungry, natural resources up, Most Avoided up, Corruption WAY UP, nation goes to war, taxes up
[option]"WAIT A SECOND!" interrupts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your chief economic advisor. "There's a middle ground here! We shouldn't be heartless and let that tyrant die, but we shouldn't just kiss his rear and be on our way, either. Here's what I suggest. I say we hold him for ransom, so to speak. Basically, we'll agree to cure Maxtopia's leader in exchange for Maxtopia giving us colossal trade concessions and assorted monopolies to @@NAME@@. For example, let us control all of Maxtopia's @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ in exchange for a healthy dictator! GENIUS!"
[effect]the nation's healthcare system is a bargaining chip for boosting the economy with foreign nations
[stats]Compassion down, Corruption somewhat up, Economy up a lot, natural resources up, pro-business leanings up
