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by Maltropia » Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:51 pm
New Freedomstan
54 minutes ago
Paradoxia - even our peace conferences involves bombings
The Republic of Crawnaft
3 hours ago
Would anybody care to volunteer to hold the peace conference?
There are only two nations anymore that are truly neutral in my opinion: Essonne and Colitas
The Hegemony of Machtergreifung
2 hours ago
Bigfoot or Ishgar perhaps, even if Ishgar is selling arms to everyone.
by Siorafrica » Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:13 pm
Rules of da classik badaman:Robbing yer nan's mobility scooter to go down to the shop and rob a freddo.
by Maltropia » Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:25 pm
22:00 Maltropia: I'd be willing to dump some of my junk
22:00 Maltropia: I mean donate high quality warships
by Pottslande » Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:05 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:08 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Izandai » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:04 am
by Imsogone » Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:21 am
Seiwa wrote:Just check my sig.
by Pottslande » Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:25 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:15 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Izandai » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:16 pm
by Vlorkidor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:31 pm
I'll become a mailman, and every day put dry dogshit in your mail. You'll keep gettign grossed out, but will have to keep getting your hands covered in dogshit. You'll start recieving death threats from people who don't exist. You'll panic, and start staying inside. You'll get fat and lose your hair. Because you're fat, your health leaves you and you end up having a prostate exam early. I'll put little bits of radioactive dust in your butthole every year, until you develope cancer. In which I'll be the surgeon who has to operate, removing part of your colon and giving you a shitbag. But I'll only give you leaky bags, so you get waste on everyone you meet. You'll become an outcast, and will eventually try to kill youself. You'll jump in front of train, and I'll be there to save your life. While you're thanking me, I'll choke you with a vibrator.
by Izandai » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:32 pm
Vlorkidor wrote:I'll become a mailman, and every day put dry dogshit in your mail. You'll keep gettign grossed out, but will have to keep getting your hands covered in dogshit. You'll start recieving death threats from people who don't exist. You'll panic, and start staying inside. You'll get fat and lose your hair. Because you're fat, your health leaves you and you end up having a prostate exam early. I'll put little bits of radioactive dust in your butthole every year, until you develope cancer. In which I'll be the surgeon who has to operate, removing part of your colon and giving you a shitbag. But I'll only give you leaky bags, so you get waste on everyone you meet. You'll become an outcast, and will eventually try to kill youself. You'll jump in front of train, and I'll be there to save your life. While you're thanking me, I'll choke you with a vibrator.
The Nuclear Fist and I got into a bout. I'll post my stuff if someone wants them.
by Grenartia » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:38 pm
Innsmothe wrote:They must be stopped, crushed and dominated like a amateur S&M slut.
Kafkanistan wrote:We have actively been trying to outlaw masturbation with the hope that people would engage in intercourse more often. It hasn't been working. They just keep taking matters into their own hands.
Barringtonia wrote:Jesus would let his nation die but then he'd resurrect it.
Sunny Marionette wrote:Are you sure you're Kim Jong? I want to see your licence to Il.
Lacadaemon wrote:
There are two sacred rights in the US:
1. The right to own powerful firearms in a variety of sizes types.
2. The right to troll people.
Flameswroth wrote:Staenwald wrote:it's just...ionic bonding is sooo hawt...the way they stick together... :blush
I suppose if you're into that kind of thing. Ionic bonds are pretty imbalanced, to be frank. You got big ole electron-hogging atoms/molecules taking all the electron density away from the weak counterpart. In solution may don't even stay together - it's more of an open relationship with free-floating ions (ie, NaCl in water).
So if I had to say, I'd picture ionic bonds as a burly dominant atom like chlorine whipping a leatherbound, ball-gagged atom like sodium with an electron whip...
...which as I said, could be hot if you're in to that kind of thing.
The Nuclear Fist wrote:Grenartia wrote:Some of my friends and I were gonna start a band (they'll probably keep going with it, but since I moved, they're gonna have to find a new 2nd bassist/backup vocalist. yeah, thats the thing one of my friends said, that we needed 2 bassists and 2 drummers in addition to 2 guitarists)...called 4 Oceans Bleed. I know, it sucks.
I was in 3 bands in my lifetime. A band called Vladdy and his Dirty Little Fuckers, Sumerian Death Cult, and The Electric Rape Squad.
As you can tell, we were a family-friendly band for all ages.
Phonencia wrote:oh for god's sakes. when will the communists learn. They can't be communists and not expect us to hit them!
The Merchant Republics wrote:New Lyrane wrote:The US moon landing was totally faked. If you look carefully at the lunar lander where it says "United States" you can tell by some of the pixels that it actually reads "Soviet Union". The flags were likewise edited from Soviet into US flags. Also, the soundtrack was obviously dubbed from the original Russian. That's right, the moon landing was real but it was actually done by Soviet cosmonauts.
:twisted
Impossible, there would have been evidence, if they were Russians why were there no bottles of Vodka drifting around the landing site?
AustriaHungaryBohemia wrote:Besides, as we all know, in Soviet Russia, Moon lands on you. That was, after all, the reason for the Tunguska event.
Olthar wrote:I have severe moral and ethical complaints regarding this thread. It is an example of the horribly oppressive and bias culture that seeks to destroy people like me. It is a testament to the cruel and horrific evil that such one-sided views have wrought. I spit in the face of the people who have brought forth this abomination.
I mean, seriously, why can't I have all of them at once? Why do I have to choose just one?
Nationstatelandsville wrote:New East Ireland wrote:That the local news called coupons the "Jedi Knights of the economy"... What the fuck?
"Luke, I am redeemable at Wal-Mart!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEEDED ONE FOR TARGET!"
"That would be the one that looks like Samuel. L Jackson."
"Thanks Dad."
Soxastan wrote:A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
Set the Unbound wrote:Nooo, the Moon Base has been buried under tax arguments, and its partly my fault! :eek
Do tax arguments block incoming radiation?
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Math in general is a sexy topic.
"Oh baby, substitute my variable."
"My linear function goes exponential for you."
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:New East Ireland wrote:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temptation_of_Christ
He didn't fight him though. He just said 'Thanks but no thanks, I don't want your goddamn bread."
Four-sided Triangles wrote:Who else thinks we're just being trolled, and that he doesn't really believe a damn word he's saying?
Hammurab wrote:Imsogone wrote:I received what I assume is one of those annoying political cold calls. The person on the other end of the line was a woman and she asked to speak to "any male registered voters in the residence". At first I was a tad surprised, then offended, then curious. There were, however, no answers available from the caller, who hung up when informed that there were no males, aside from a snake and a tarantula, in the house.
Has anyone else received such a call? Is this some sort of divisive conservative ploy designed to cause discord between male and female voters? Is this some sort of liberal action designed to do who knows what? What would the purpose of a call like this be?
Sorry. I got nervous and couldn't think of anything to say.
What were you wearing?
Straight From Above wrote:Condunum wrote:I guess you could kinda go under the one in the middle and... I'll stop there.
We can't just have a-symmetric motorboating?
Or one set of cleavage, then the other?
Or maybe collaborate with a friend. Harmonize.
See if you can do "Dueling Motorboats" on the Mars mutant hooker's boobage.
Katganistan wrote:Oh, I wouldn't vote for Ron OR Rand if you paid me.
Vareiln wrote:"I'll trade you my Timothy McVeigh for your Osama bin Laden."
"What?! No way! He isn't as rare or as powerful as Osama bin Laden, and his God n' Guns ability is weaker than bin Laden's Jihad Shriek!"
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Caninope wrote:So guys, I'm just saying that Atlas Shrugged is a capitalistic Fifty Shades of Grey.
No, wait. That's insulting to E.L. James.
I saw a little bit of an Ayn Rand interview (which may or may not have been playing on the Colbert Report; shut up).
"So, the weak, they do not get love?"
"They certainly do not deserve it."
And that's when I imagined myself punching a frail, PTSD-suffering woman in the face and thought myself a good person.
Galloism wrote:Why does NSG make me feel more and more like I should have taken the blue pill?
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
I still fail to understand how a god of love can, in the same breath, condemn the very creation Christians claim he loves, to eternal suffering. He's either a god of love or not.
Why would he punish a married couple that uses contraception? Is there a fair reason for said punishment?
As I believe Stephen Colbert said,
"You see to Catholics, sex isn’t two drunk strangers getting their freak on at closing time,” he said. “It is the mystical union of two people inspired to create new physical life while God adds a soul in a divine and ineffably beautiful three way. So when you use contraception, you are not only sinning, you are cock blocking the Almighty."
Olthar wrote:Zottistan wrote:Ok, so regardless of whether or not teans people are the sex they want to be and the gender they feel they are, what's to stop them making the change? Regardless of whether or not they become the sex they want to be, if it makes them happier, why shouldn't they be allowed to alter themselves in any way they see fit? If I decide I want to lop off my left hand, why shouldn't I be allowed to?
If Hollywood movie stars can get new tits, I should be able to, as well.
Ostroeuropa wrote:"Mr cameron, the french are legalizing gay marriage."
"Mr prime minister, we must not allow a gay marriage gap!"
Cannot think of a name wrote:On a Tuesday during a full moon, go to a clearing carrying three fabrics. One red, one blue, and one chartreuse. I cannot stress this enough, the third one must be chartreuse.
Now. Lay naked face up on the material with your feet facing east. Taking your left hand, make a circle over your forehead and make the following chant:
"Flag-istan, Flag-istan Flag-istan. Dilly dilly petunia. I need a flag-istan for my nation-istan."
Then, if you're pure of heart, a mod will descend upon you and pin a flag to your butt.
Or, the real answers that have already been given.
Neo Art wrote:Grave_n_idle wrote:
"...show some shred of objectivity and independent thinking..."
...and then posts a load of ideological spoonfeeding.
TECHNICALLY he posted the load of ideological spoonfeeding THEN told you to be objective.
I mean, it's still fucking pathetic, but at least let's get the order of operations correct.
edit: jesus christ, I waste my 10,000th post on THAT?
Euroslavia wrote:Bottle wrote:I honestly don't give a fuck whether gender exists or not, as long as I'm not in any way required to care about it. For as long as I am forced to care about it, I will be stuck fighting against it. I'm happy to stop fighting as soon as it goes away and leaves me alone. :]
This dog has been renamed to Gender and has taken a poop in your hallway.
Your move.
Khadgar wrote:Hades imperium wrote:may republicans are in that anti abortion anti gay neich. that neich is just dumb. their is nothing wrong with conservatism in its self. to much conservatism leads to stagnation a slow death. so does the other end too much liberal action would lead to rapid mass socalism, mass expendature, a decline in incentive for hard work. both far ends lead to failure. once must balance between the two.
Me feel me am not smarter now that me read that.
Transnapastain's Forum Warning Recipe Book wrote:Take one part mild flame, add a good dose of calling for the deaths of people who may be in our player base, or ancestry thereof, and flavor it with a long list of violations. Shake well and serve hot.
Osterr wrote:Jesus had two dads, why can't I?
Nationalist State of Knox wrote:Of the Free Socialist Territories wrote:What?
No, seriously, what? How the hell is raping people going to prevent genocide?
Easily. Just infect yourself with a fatal STD, rape 1930s dictator, rinse and repeat.
The real knack to it is getting him before you die yourself. You should have an extra life if you collected 100 Swastikas, and if you got all 7 of the Treaty of Versailles scraps you can become Super Stauffenberg and hit him with your finishing move.
Holocaust=solved.
Individuality-ness wrote:Grenartia wrote:And people who have no qualifications in a given field should totally be making decisions that affect it.
:roll
Let's totally have prayer in schools and have our students taught creationism instead of evolution, amirite? Fuck those evolutionary biologists, fuck geologists, fuck biochemists, fuck scientists in general, those so-called know-it-all "experts". What do they know, compared to the all holy masses, amirite?
Britcan wrote:*Churchill voice*
"We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in lobby, we shall fight in the coffee shop, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the chamber, we shall defend our values, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight in the HQ, we shall fight in the event threads, we shall fight for the bills and the the amendments, we shall fight for what's right; we shall never surrender."
Neo Art wrote:Khadgar wrote:Also your name is hilarious in that you're tilting at windmills. Suspiciously so.
Would you be implying that this fine gentlemen, having made only two posts, and named after a fictional character most well known for fighting imaginary monsters, is not entirely and completely sincere in his most earnest attempt to inform us of how "major media outlets basically worship Obama"
My word, I do believe that is trollnaming, and you should refrain from such vile and contemptuous conduct in the future. Good day to you sir.
I SAID GOOD DAY!
Marigold Reloaded wrote:Shave a weasel, cover it in glitter, put it in your freezer for fifteen minutes, and mail it overnight to Ard. He'll know what to do.
Lunatic Goofballs wrote:Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sexual position.
The Archregimancy wrote:The united empires of zxarrkoenia wrote:how about i am not your crowed king i am not your elected representative i am not your favored celebrity i am your conquering emperor and you will kneel before me or die before me emperor x imperia most notorious thing he said he said to the 13 kingdoms alliance as it rang though out history as it stuck thunderous fear and/or obedience and expanded the empire into ultimate glory
Kneel before me, oh rulers of Zxarrkoenia, as I wield my mighty sceptre of modly power over your union, and strike thunderous fear into you as I seek thy obedience in my search for the ultimate moderator glory, for I declare this day, unto all the witnesses of the Awesome/Funny NS quotes thread that I strike thee down with my awesome and unanswerable *** warning for spamming this thread ***.
Tremble, Zxarrkoenia!
The Steel Magnolia wrote:East Sashimi wrote:
This is proof that some people think they aren't male or female, not that non-binary genders exist and frankly I find it insulting to trans people that this article basically says everyone who doesn't conform to the norms about gender has the option to use the label 'trans'.
Buddy, you're cis. You have no fucking say in what is and isn't insulting to us.
I however, do!
And you know what I find insulting here?
You.
Jenrak wrote:Dear TET,
My neighbor's wife recently left him for a guy who replaced their carpet (and probably hers, I don't have the full story yet). I always thought she looked like Sloth from The Goonies. Can I air out my sentiments like the cavernous vagina of a three dollar streetwalker or must I wait an appropriate grace period?
xoxo,
Jenrak.
Esternial wrote:Strange, Google doesn't know this mythical African American Education Initiative that allows black children to "misbehave".
It knows unicorns, though.
Congrats, your shitty source's content is more fictional than unicorns.
Seperates wrote:Ermiopa wrote:Respecting Religion =/= Participating in Religion
Also, there are no longer any religions apart from extremely obscure cults, that require human sacrifices.
Sir, it is a religion and you disrespected it. Not my fault if you are uneducated heathen scum.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
CHANGE FOR THE COINSTAR
European Socialist Republic wrote:The Patriarchal States wrote:Why would I spend my time telling you why Libertarianism would not work? Why can't you do it yourself? You really expect me to GIVE you my opinions without being paid for them, you Bolshevik?
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Finish this poem yourself,
You dependent parasite."
-Ayn Rand's first love poem.
Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:The Scientific States wrote:
I must say I always laugh at med advertisements on tv when talking about side effects.
It always shows happy people riding bikes and stuff, while it explains the possibly fatal side effects in a calm voice.
"Lameota can cause blood clots, a third nipple, enlargement of the nut sack, homicidal thoughts and aspirations to become a politician. Do not take Lameota if you have 11 fingers, vote Libertarian or think your pregnant with the Antichrist. Burning sensation when peeing purple may occur in diabetic patients. Consult a doctor if you're a woman and suddenly grow testicles. This may be a serious and fatal side effect that can result in death from the fucking stupidity of those who created this medicine.
Lameota, if you dare."
Risottia wrote:Schweizweld wrote:
Bragging about things they did in 1864 shows how lame they've become, what have they done for us lately.
Well, they made PRC from a left-wing totalitarian hellhole into a right-wing totalitarian hellhole.
And Reagan beat the crap out of every citizen of the Soviet Union with his right fist. Because he didn't like the left.
Trotskylvania wrote:Liberalssuckpenis wrote:It will be them commieliberalsocialist fools who cause WWIII! Protect America from the communist takeover! Rebuild the Republic and stop Obama! GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE WEST!
Remember kids, we must never insinuate that posters, regardless of their short post history, hyperbolic to the point of absurdity rhetoric, or their questionable adherence to the conventions of grammar, are in anyway anything less than totally sincere.
Yumyumsuppertime wrote:
Hippo? Hippo ain't been seen in these parts for ages, no sir. Just founded the thread, then disappeared for good. We sent out search parties, but all they could find was an American flag lapel, a tear-stained copy of Atlas Shrugged, and a pair of boxer briefs with a bald eagle silk screened across the crotch. However, they say on some nights, when the moon is full and the wind blows in from the west, you can hear the faint strains of "God Bless America" sung in a Finnish accent.
Frisivisia wrote:Prussia-Steinbach wrote:Hippocracy: A form of government in which the American right is in full, dictatorial control of all aspects of society
Hippocracy: A form of government in which a teenager from another country rules with absolute nationalism in the country governed, resulting in very odd looks being passed at the teenager before he stones them to death for not being nationalistic enough.
The Corparation wrote:Putin should win the Nobel Prize in Super-Villainy, for showing us that Bond Style Evil Geniuses don't have to hold the world to ransom with death rays or nukes for gold, they can instead rise to the top of a country through mostly legitimate political means and acquire control of a decent chunk of the world's nuclear arsenal without all that bother of having to worry about whether 007 is banging their mistress.
Euroslavia wrote:God Kefka wrote:Moderators have always done a good job... everywhere and anytime. Of course they have...
Whenever there is injustice, they have always acted as sentinels of righteousness and sorted it out. This fervor for reasoned justice is balanced by an uncommon but necessary restraint. Where populism calls for certain individuals to be hanged without good cause, I have on the whole found the moderators capable of almost divine restraint, calm analysis, and self-control.
Thanks. I just spit my pepsi on the carpet. (Side note, windex takes it right out!)
The Republic of Lanos wrote:Response to your invasion idea:Hathradic States wrote:A rider comes to the bar.
"Roovians, you have two hours to surrender all of your booze to us," said the rider, "If you do this, we will have peace. If not, you shall drown in blood and fire. Your bar shall be sacked, and your women enslaved, you men burnt alive as they beg for mercy."
Inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfwqvUPIRkg
An alarm sounds and explosions happen outside the Roo.
Narrator: In AD 2013, war was beginning.
Inside the bar:
Bartender: "What happen?"
Waiter: Someone set us up a invasion"
Bouncer: "We get signal.
Bartender: What?!"
Waiter: "Main screen turn on."
Bartender: "It's you!"
Hath: How are you Roovians.
All your booze are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Bartender: "What you say!"
Hath: You have no chance to survive make your time. Hahahaha.
Waiter: Bartender!
As the Roo is engulfed in flames, the bartender thinks then orders:
Bartender: "Take off every fighter!" Every TV screen turns on with fighter popping up.
The fighters prepare for combat. "You know what you doing. Move fighters."
The Roo is about to explode as fighters begin to take off in numbers. Before it goes up, the bartender bids one last command.
"...for great justice."
Zero Booze 2013.
Yumyumsuppertime wrote:IamJohnGalt wrote:
"If physical force is to be barred from social relationships, men need an institution charged with the task of protecting their rights under an objective code of rules. This is the task of a government—of a proper government—its basic task, its only moral justification and the reason why men do need a government." ~Ayn Rand
An original thought might be nice. I'm sure that as a heroic, original human being who owns his own thoughts and is fully capable of reason, you can make an argument without mooching off of the thoughts and writings of another.
The Tiger Kingdom wrote:The Two Jerseys wrote:Yes, please try that again, I found the shower scene somewhat disappointing.
Man, you put two attractive women in a group shower together in a TOTALLY casual and normal way, and suddenly YOU'RE the bad guy for having it not immediately lead to copious and wanton lesbionics!
*shakes head disapprovingly*
Kassaran wrote:
I wouldn't recommend it, they can be rather tempermental, and most of the important parts for that have rotted away anyway... I never will understand Necrophiliacs...
Especially Dirty Hippies wrote:Grenartia wrote:
Is it wrong that I hate reality for not making that true?
It would be awesome if Trans Hit Squad took in 120 mil on opening weekend, and spawned a series of first person shooters that Gamer Magazine would later say "Makes Halo look like a handjob from your fat aunt".
Menassa wrote:Caladaria wrote:Well......it is clear that society is turning to support gay marriage. One day in the future, whether it be forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, or eighty years from now (or more) we will see that this institution is legalized throughout the Western World, and that those whom nature did not intend to be in a legal relationship would have that right. All those now, support the turn of the tide, which is not a negative thing, but in this circumstance is illogical. I have wasted my breath arguing for the right, for the right......Oh God, why, why. Gay marriage should never, ever, ever be legalized.
Fear not my friend!
For you've only wasted your bandwidth....
The Tiger Kingdom wrote:Ew, no.
I'm much better-looking.
Also, Eddie's a homebody compared to me - just kickin' it with Putin like he hasn't got anything better to do. Bet you a dollar he's sleeping on Putin's couch like a bum right now.
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Grenartia wrote:
Is it wrong that I just imagined you making a Muslim character for the sole purpose of having him fly a bomber into the Fuhrerbunker or Reichstag later on?
Name: Abdul Mohammed Khan
Age: 47
Rank: Abdul does not recognise rank.
Physical Description/Picture: http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/artic ... 07.jpg?v=1
Country of Origin: India
Flight/Flight Combat Experience (MANDATORY): Yes.
Ground Combat Experience: India.
Specialties (air or ground - communications, demolitions, disguises, languages, etc.): Dick jokes.
Weapons of Choice: His bomber, his iron skin, his sunglasses, and dancing.
RP Experience: what is rp.
Personal History/Bio (more than one line please): Once, an angel descended from the heavens and banged a whore. A day later, Abdul emerged, wielding a shotgun. The angels informed him of his destiny - to kill Nazis.
Abdul shall obey his destiny.
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" screamed a German pilots as a man flew in the sky toward him. No plane, no nothing. Just the Indian man on a flying carpet, wielding a shotgun. His sunglasses were visible in the daylight, allowing the Nazis to know precisely who this was.
"How the fuck did he get over Berlin?" asked Hans over the radio, nearly pissing himself as the man came closer. "I can't drop bombs, it'd destroy the city-"
"Stay calm, stay calm, just relax." said his commander, though fear was in his voice. "We're trying to get a shot at him from here-"
Bullets and cannon fire flew from the ground at the flying man, exploding when they hit him...but doing no damage, no effect. The man kept coming, before emerging a metre from Hans' plane - and jumping off his carpet.
Hans was not easily scared. He was a hardened warrior, a trained and weary man who was not easily shocked. Hans had been through horrible, terrible things in this ungodly war, including watching his best friend's execution for being a Jew. Hans remained stony-eyed throughout, though his heart had broken inside.
But right now Hans was pissing himself.
The Indian man grinned before taking off his sunglasses. Laser beams burst through his eyes, searing a hole in the glass and hitting Hans in the chest, killing the man immediately and causing him to release the rest of his unfortunate liquids.
"Hans?" asked a concerned voice over the radio. "Are you there?"
Abdul sat on top of the plane now, crossing his legs and chanting "Ommm..." Audible over the radio.
"Holy Mary mother of God." muttered Fritz, the commander. He started crying, slowly but surely. "My Fuhrer..." he muttered. "I have failed you..."
He took out a cyanide pill, ready to swallow...when he found his foot tapping.
"It's magic, it's magic, I've got the vibe that you need." sang out Abdul as he manipulated the plane across Berlin's skies.
The sound was sent all across Berlin's airwaves, and also audible to the people on the ground. All of them found suddenly dancing along, unable to stop.
"God have mercy..." cried out one priest, as he and his altar boy started dancing randomly, unable to stop.
I mean, they had been dancing before, but now it was a totally different and much more horrific.
"This is inhumane!" cried out Fritz, trying desperately to swallow his cyanide pill, but unable to get his hand toward his mouth long enough to do so. He tried to throw it toward his mouth, but missed, sending it racketing off.
Then, to his horror, he found himself singing along. "Yeah, ke kachcha nahin kuch bhi pakka nahin kuch bhi, Hota hai jo kuch bhi sab khel hai"
Remember that Hans wasn't the sole pilot over Berlin. The others found themselves randomly dancing in their planes, incapable of stopping.This didn't help their ability to fly planes at all.
All across Berlin, planes began smashing into buildings, causing fire, pain, havoc and dancing.
Adolf Hitler, crying hysterically in his chamber, realised that a dancing Indian man had crashed through the ceiling and was walking slowly toward him, his shirt somehow flapping in the breeze, even though there was no fucking breeze.
"Kill me..." The Fuhrer tried to mouth, but was incapable of even that.
But instead, the Indian man frowned, looking at Hitler leaping into the air at random intervals and unable to control himself. So instead he grabbed the Nazi leader's hand and started spinning him around, grabbing him and lifting him into the air while they both sang the song. Immediately, the German was crying as he did so.
Eventually, Abdul chucked Hitler away, and the music stopped. The Fuhrer now took a breath, glad the torture had ended. "Why did you stop-"
Abdul merely smiled, pulling out some curry.
"No." The Fuhrer begged.
Abdul began eating the curry.
"Don't, I beg of you!"
Abdul finished the curry, and then drank a glass of water while Hitler tried to beg any God he could find for forgiveness, before realising no loving God would ever do this to him.
Abdul proceeded to break wind. Hitler choked and gagged, falling over dead.
Abdul turned to the reader, grinned and said merely "Well, I never expected that a bit of gas would ever kill someone."
Tarsonis Survivors wrote:Pope Joan wrote:Jesus says we will not know the day or the hour. It will be totally unexpected. So to me that means we do not get an extra thousand years in which to shape up.
He said he would come like a lightning flash from east to west, in the clouds of heaven. Nobody will have time to pack their bags.
I like it, one last experience of outstanding FX.
Plus, I do trust Jesus, and he seemed to honestly believe it would end that way.
That's a scary thought. I won't have a chance to clear my internet history.
Monfrox wrote:Get over here and fucking hug me.
The Tiger Kingdom wrote:The Two Jerseys wrote:Innuendo-filled response in 5...4...3...
Extract from Hoyle's Official Registry of Erotic Positions, Vol. II, Page 44:#67c. The "Fucking Hug":
The name essentially defines itself to the point of redundancy. Not to be confused with Number 98d (the "Upstanding Librarian") or number 117b (the "Hokkaido Hambone" [apocryphal]).
Number of participants: No more than 2-3
Difficulty rating: 4-8.5 out of 10 (depending on the height and physical fitness of participants)
Agritum wrote:RP Name: Nationstates General RPG
RP Creator: Violet
Type (Character, Nation, Faction): Character
Genre/s: Action, Politics, Horror, Comedy
Detailed Description: In the drecks of the interwebz lies a website infamous for its gratuitous racism, bigotry, stupidity, illiteracy and overall disrespect, even on the part of moderators and the likes of that.
It is neither 4chan's /b/, neither Stormfront.
It's NSG.
Now, you are a member of a team of NSG Trolls: make bleeding heart liberals angry by calling yourself a Christian, explode the minds of racists and anti-racists alike by posing as an Euriasian Black Supremacist, post yet another thread on abortion, fail at politics, economics, literature and arts.
Will you top the likes of Hippostania and other famed NSG denizens? We shall see!
Link to the OOC: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewforum.php?f=20
Nationstatelandsville wrote: Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.
by Vlorkidor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:43 pm
Me:
I'll go to your house en you're not home, turn on all the lights, leave all the water running, open the refrigerator and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them watse gas. You're gonna start stressing out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll be on the operating table at the hospital and the last thing you'll see before you pass out is me standing over you dressing in scrubs. When you wake up, you'll be wondering just what the fuck I did to you while you were under, what kind of ticking time bomb will be in your chest, ready to explode. After you make a full recovery, you'll think it's all over between us. But when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere.
You sure you wanna try me?
The Nuclear Fist:
I'll become a mailman, and every day put dry dogshit in your mail. You'll keep gettign grossed out, but will have to keep getting your hands covered in dogshit. You'll start recieving death threats from people who don't exist. You'll panic, and start staying inside. You'll get fat and lose your hair. Because you're fat, your health leaves you and you end up having a prostate exam early. I'll put little bits of radioactive dust in your butthole every year, until you develope cancer. In which I'll be the surgeon who has to operate, removing part of your colon and giving you a shitbag. But I'll only give you leaky bags, so you get waste on everyone you meet. You'll become an outcast, and will eventually try to kill youself. You'll jump in front of train, and I'll be there to save your life. While you're thanking me, I'll choke you with a vibrator.
Me:
Already fat, bro. But thanks.
When your next birthday appears, I'll throw you a surprise party at your home. When you get back from work that day, all your friends and family will be in your living room, embreacing you and showering you with love. You cannot seem to find your mom or me anywhere. You go upstairs, and hear thumping noises coming from your bedroom. When you enter the dark room, you'll see a figure pumping up and down on your bed, covered with your sheets. When you lift the sheets, you'll see me on top of your mother's naked corpse, thrusting a knife into her chest, a longer knife than usual. After the mess was cleaned up, and me taken to jail, you'll lay in your bed to fall asleep. But the knife went through your mother, and scratched the living hell out of your matress, making it unbearable sleeping conditions. You find I had stolen all your money and burned it, so you can't afford a new one. You can't sleep on the matress, and you quickly become irritable, being shunned by your friends.
You'll try to kill yourself with a dull knife. I had snuck into your house the day before the party and hacked trees with them, making them virtually useless. You'll have to stab yourself at least 12 times before you bleed out.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:13 pm
Lackadaisical2 wrote:Nightkill the Emperor wrote:I fully support an India-friendly state ruled by the Dalai Lama that weakens China's power.
Iiiiiin this corner, weighing in at 153 pounds and standing 5'7" tall, we have an Indian nationalist, debating out of Dubuque Iowa, with a record of 16 wins, 37 losses, and one flame. NIIIGHTKILL!
And in the opposite corner...Great Nepal wrote:I dont see it odd at all. India has been welding influence since ages, and has dont no good. If Nepal can get closer to China, then it could do better. As for maoist thing: I dont support most of their policies: but foreign policy is something which I do support.
...we have a Nepalese nationalist, weighing in at 168 pounds and standing 6'1" tall. Debating out of London England with a record of 4 wins, 62 losses and 3 bans. GREAT NEPAL!
The rules of this cage match are simple, no biting, no ad hominems and no debating below the belt.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Grenartia » Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:17 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Lackadaisical2 wrote:Iiiiiin this corner, weighing in at 153 pounds and standing 5'7" tall, we have an Indian nationalist, debating out of Dubuque Iowa, with a record of 16 wins, 37 losses, and one flame. NIIIGHTKILL!
And in the opposite corner...
...we have a Nepalese nationalist, weighing in at 168 pounds and standing 6'1" tall. Debating out of London England with a record of 4 wins, 62 losses and 3 bans. GREAT NEPAL!
The rules of this cage match are simple, no biting, no ad hominems and no debating below the belt.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:30 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by The Corparation » Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:34 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Lackadaisical2 wrote:Iiiiiin this corner, weighing in at 153 pounds and standing 5'7" tall, we have an Indian nationalist, debating out of Dubuque Iowa, with a record of 16 wins, 37 losses, and one flame. NIIIGHTKILL!
And in the opposite corner...
...we have a Nepalese nationalist, weighing in at 168 pounds and standing 6'1" tall. Debating out of London England with a record of 4 wins, 62 losses and 3 bans. GREAT NEPAL!
The rules of this cage match are simple, no biting, no ad hominems and no debating below the belt.
Nuclear Death Machines Here (Both Flying and Orbiting) Orbital Freedom Machine Here | A Subsidiary company of Nightkill Enterprises Inc. | Weekly words of wisdom: Nothing is more important than waifus.- Gallia- |
Making the Nightmare End | WARNING: This post contains chemicals known to the State of CA to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. - Prop 65, CA Health & Safety | This Cell is intentionally blank. |
by Sunny Marionette » Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:39 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:One time in India, I managed to draw an elaborate battle scene in the sand with my piss. Granted, my friends aided me in this matter, but we finished with Darth Vader force choking a random Jedi. It was one of the greatest achievements of our lives.
by Ceannairceach » Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:41 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Lackadaisical2 wrote:Iiiiiin this corner, weighing in at 153 pounds and standing 5'7" tall, we have an Indian nationalist, debating out of Dubuque Iowa, with a record of 16 wins, 37 losses, and one flame. NIIIGHTKILL!
And in the opposite corner...
...we have a Nepalese nationalist, weighing in at 168 pounds and standing 6'1" tall. Debating out of London England with a record of 4 wins, 62 losses and 3 bans. GREAT NEPAL!
The rules of this cage match are simple, no biting, no ad hominems and no debating below the belt.
by Sunny Marionette » Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:42 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:One time in India, I managed to draw an elaborate battle scene in the sand with my piss. Granted, my friends aided me in this matter, but we finished with Darth Vader force choking a random Jedi. It was one of the greatest achievements of our lives.
by Ceannairceach » Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:02 pm
by Syvorji » Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:14 pm
Folks, take your softcore porn off the forums.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:17 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
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