Empire of Donner land wrote:Knot looked confused for a moment. Had he some how seen the incident only a few moments ago or was he talking about bring slapped and yelled at. She looked into her room back at the shell on the floor and made sure he couldn't see. "How did yo- nevermind." She said interrupting herself as she knew that he had probably only seen the outside incident and not the previous one only moments before Praeses arrived. And he definitely saw Haruna leave her room, but hopefully not with her Gun. "Praeses, I know. I've heard it from Null, Haruna, Angel. I already feel guilty enough. " She said trying to put on her best face trying to look like she was fine even though she had tried to commit suicide. Until Haruna had stopped her, the reason she was now so angry, the reminder being that her Holster was no longer filled and Amabel's hand was gripping at something that wasn't there grabbing the Holster itself. "I-I... don't need help." She said knowing she did, it would be embarrassing, a humiliation that she admitted she did and trufully she knew the Squadron would look at her differently like how she thought Haruna did when she saw her with the gun to her head. "Nothing is wrong and I don't need your fucking help. Okay? I know what I did was stupid and everything. I know Haruna means well but sometimes she just needs to butt out... and let people do what they need to do to deal with it" The last words felt like vinegar to her. "Is that all you wanted?" She asked, now frustrated.
"For someone with nothing wrong, you sure don't seem like it. Your eyes are bleary, you've obviously had quite a few drinks and you've got the look of someone who just got caught trying to steal liquor from the officer's mess." The old pilot smiled, his crows feet at the corners of his eyes showing in the dim light of the hotel hallway as years of experience with younger pilots came to mind. He had done what he could to protect each and every single one and so had she," Amabel, you did your job today. You did what you needed to and in the end the only planes we lost were fighters. They were men and women who went in knowing they were putting their lives on the line. If you're going to blame yourself for their decision, then you're taking away everything that made them important. I don't care what Knot did today, she exist only in the air and what she does up there can stay with her. In the end I care about what happens to Lieutenant Amabel Allard because she's one of my companions and she's the only one who can control Knot. You're hurting and it hurts me to see that."
What had been, only a few moments earlier, a rare moment of curiosity had now turned into a moment of compassion and caring. No longer was he acting from thought, but from experience as he slowly shifted the toe of his left foot towards where the door frame was. She kept looking behind her, back into the room in a worryingly alert panic. What had happened a few minutes before, what had happened between Haruna and her that now she had to keep looking toward where Pearsohn could only guess her bed was?