Ding Dong Dough [SUBMITTED]

[TurtleShroom]

As I have panned through the issues over the months I've been in NationStates, I have been disappointed by the lack of specific industry-boosting questions. There are at least two Issues dealing with the Automobile Industry, including outright giving them bailouts a la GM. I also saw one about Arms Manufacturing.

Yet, where's the love for everyone else? What about Trout Fishing? Basket Weaving? Furniture Polishing? Book Sales? Or, my personal favorite and the rarest Industry I see: Door-to-Door Insurance Sales! What about the poor insurance salesmen? What about the nice man with the vacuum cleaner, or the guy selling exotic soaps on your porch? Do these "great" people not deserve HUGE government payments and subsidization? Yes, yes they do!

I, TurtleShroom, take it upon myself to stand up for the little guy with certificates and a briefcase, nagging you at your threshold without regards for privacy or what he's insuring.

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ISSUE TITLE: Ding Dong Dough

VALIDITY: For any nation that has private enterprise, irregardless of the economy.

DESCRIPTION: After a recent storm struck @@NAME@@'s capital, the demand for home and other forms of insurance have rapidly increased. Using this sudden demand as an excuse, door-to-door salesmen of all walks of life- especially those selling insurance -have come to you pleading for support for their occupation.

THE ISSUE:

[option]"It's a no brainer, slick." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, while trying to persuade you to purchase Cult of Violet insurance at a discount. "We do ya all a great service and contribute greatly to the economy. Without private insurance, those poor souls of @@NAME@@ couldn't reimburse their houses, yachts, and farms, see? ...-and what sane man would exist without their high-quality vacuums, peddled by our noble, profitable travelling stores? Now, all I'm askin' yous is ta give our industry a little recognition. I'm talkin' @@CURRENCY@@s. Get my drift?"
[effect]soliciting has skyrocketed as subsidized salesmen tout their wears on residents' doorsteps daily
[stats]taxes somewhat up, funding for Commerce appears or increases, Door-to-Door Insurance skyrockets in Industry and in priority, economy up, civil rights down (privacy reduced because of all the goons marketing junk you don't need), crime very slightly up (scams), economic freedoms up (right to come to your house)

[option]"Are you KIDDING me?"" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a suburban homeowner. "These smooth-talking goons conned me into purchasing 'Max Barry Deletion Reimbursement'! Like this world is REALLY a video game that could be shut down by some all powerful master of the universe? We must stop these con-men from scamming innocent residents like me! Ban door-to-door sales; it's not my fault that I fell for it! Obviously, he shouldn't be doing it! Those vacuum-peddling scum should get some HARD KNOCKS for all their knocks! On my door, that is!"
[effect]soliciting is punishable by decades in prison
[stats]Door-to-Door Insurance crashes to almost nothing, civil rights up, rudest citizens up, prison funding up, prisons up, police become a bit more strained, crime a bit down, economy down, economic freedoms unaffected,

[option]"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" interjects the Holy @@RANDOMNAME@@, a key leader of the local Jehovah Witness sect, "You can't do that! Don't you know that we and many other faiths rely on solici- err, visitation to persuade the Masses to join us in the one true way to paridise? If you listen to those loons, you'll either fund those sinners- who I'm CERTAIN sell IV poles and transufsion mechanisms to doctors -or ban our means of inducing salvation. I dislike those creeps as much as you, but we must strictly lay it out. Religious visits to households are sacred, and should never be abridged! Chuck those other guys out, and you'll be doing us all a favor!"
[effect]door-to-door salesmen dress in religious vestments to illegally sell their wares after all secular soliciting was outlawed
[stats]economic freedoms down, Religion and Spirituality up, "devout" added to government description, civil rights slightly down, God-Forsakeness down, black market up, Door-to-Door slightly up, economy down, nation becomes more religious

[option]"Capitalist @@ANIMALS@@!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a Marxist leftist author of the bestselling book "Ding Dong Ditch Private Enterprise: 101 Reasons Why Insurance is Just Plain Wrong". "The Door-to-Door industry, once a noble profession of spreading the manifesto in literary form, has been throughly corrupted by those evil insurers, who care nothing about their clients and everything about their wallets! @@LEADER@@, I implore you, emancipate these slaves of the @@CURRENCY@@, and ban insurance, period! The government should be in charge of those kinds of things, anyway! Get the private sector OUT of things that only the government can and should do! Nationalize the insurance industry. What cost is taxes when the Masses are liberated from these scams forever? We must ding dong ditch these swine, now!"
[stats]insurance has been banned as the government assumes responsibility in things such healthcare
[effect]Door-to-Door ceases to exist, economy is slashed, taxes way up, National/Public/Government Healthcare comes into existance or is more funded, healthcare up, economic freedoms slashed, private industry is severely hampered, crime down, nation becomes much more socialistic, nationalization occurs, government becomes more regulatory and involved in hitting business

[Mushet]

I like this issue, but none of the options really work for my nation I would just let them be

[Kandarin]

Nice dilemma! You've got a situation where two elements of capitalism go head to head, with the rights of property owners duking it out with the rights of corporations to hawk their wares. Tres nifty. That said, it should require that your nation actually have a door-to-door insurance sector to interactwith. Nations that granted citizens the right to blow away anyone on their property (#158) probably shouldn't get this either. Beyond that, It makes more sense for Option One (and Option Three)to have an increase in rudeness as a result, since people are being rudely interrupted all the time. If anything, Option Two should decrease rudeness, as a section of the economy that most would consider rude are all in prison.

We already have an issue poking fun at the Jehovah's Witness blood taboo. It's better to have Option Three focus on their better-known and funnier doctrine of knocking on heathens' doors, and the reference you have now is a little hard to follow if one isn't already familiar with the JW. You could even take that out and then swap out "the local Jehovah's Witness sect" for the @@FAITH@@ macro. It fits really well here, and the default of "a major religion" actually works in your favor for once. Also (just a thought, take it or leave it and yours works too) perhaps for humor, door-to-door sales companies could try to circumvent the law by becoming religions instead of just going around in religious garb? I mean, picture Amway sending glazed-eyed initiates door to door trying to convert people to the Power of the Pyramid. They're cult-like enough as it is, might as well take the next step.

I'm tossed up about Option Four. I can see why, when presented with this issue's clash between the capitalist tenet of property rights and the capitalist tenet of corporate speech, one might say "Well, then ditch capitalism if it can't keep its ideology straight!" With such a glaring contradiction present, it doesn't make sense that this Marxist zeroes in on door-to-door insurance sales of all things. I can see why it comes up since it's the focus of the dilemma, but it's odd that s/he has supposedly had a beef just with that industry despite being a hardcore Marxist. There's room for a more radical anti-capitalist option here, but as it stands it's somewhat confusing.

[TurtleShroom]

Kandarin, thank you so much for your showers of glorious praise and the well-detailed review.

Sadly, I already submitted the thing, or I'd edit it. I had to insert the IV Pole/Transfusion reference because the Jehovah Witnesses are so comically obbsessed with that. I couldn't resist and it realy nailed it home. I couldn't use @@RELIGION@@ because, well... imagine Mean Old Man. His national faith is, literally, "forgotton". So, a major leader of "Forgotton" comes to your door? Or a major leader of Islam? Atheism?

Now, Southern Baptists (my RL and NS national denomination of Christianity) have solicited (passively) in the past (placing Vacation Bible School postcards on their doorsteps), but not every faith does. Jehovah Witnesses do famously, so I couldn't think of anything else.

Also, and you probably noticed this in the Witness option, that I said "one true way to paridise" and "our means of inducing salvation" instead of referencing a dieity or a blunt "this faith is the only faith" approach. I am an extremely devout man with a strong Relationship in/with/through Christianity/Jesus, so I couldn't handle typing it directly as saying JW is the faith, or as a corporation becoming a religion. I would feel guilty or that I have sinned. I apologize for that confusion.

I looked up the definition of Amway and grinned widely ( ) when I saw the accusations of pyramid schemes. Your joke was excellent.

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I'm tossed up about Option Four. I can see why, when presented with this issue's clash between the capitalist tenet of property rights and the capitalist tenet of corporate speech, one might say "Well, then ditch capitalism if it can't keep its ideology straight!" With such a glaring contradiction present, it doesn't make sense that this Marxist zeroes in on door-to-door insurance sales of all things. I can see why it comes up since it's the focus of the dilemma, but it's odd that s/he has supposedly had a beef just with that industry despite being a hardcore Marxist. There's room for a more radical anti-capitalist option here, but as it stands it's somewhat confusing.

I decied to have the Marxist hate insurance because they belive that it is the responsibility of the state (during Socialism) to take care of its people, and then the people to take care of each other at the end of Communism. I had to have a "throw out Capitalism" idea for the radical requirement, but I couldn't think of anything.

See, a lot of people are against private insurace these days and use the corporate corruption of insurers to push for the united States' healthcare "reform". Taxes paying for your healthcare instead of your salary is kind of socialist (but mostly Statist), so I tied that in through the only way I knew.

I know enough about generic Marxism to write about them, but when it tackles individual subjects of capitalism rather than the ideology as a whole, I'm just as helpless on the doctrine as a man who grew up in the Cold War.