WINTER 2015 SHORT STORY CONTEST

[Laerod]

I mild heads up: I don't read any stories until the deadline. I like to think it keeps the judgment fairer.

No problem. It also ensures that if people edit their entries before the deadline, you are judging the final version.

Precisely.

[Estenia]

Guess, who loves making winter stories? Yes I dooooooooooo.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Guess, who loves making winter stories? Yes I dooooooooooo.

Cool beans. I thought it was cool that we got so many entries last time, and would be happy to have all you guys come back for this one.

[Laerod]

Guess, who loves making winter stories? Yes I dooooooooooo.

Cool beans. I thought it was cool that we got so many entries last time, and would be happy to have all you guys come back for this one.

Because you weren't judging... =P

[Nazi Flower Power]

Cool beans. I thought it was cool that we got so many entries last time, and would be happy to have all you guys come back for this one.

Because you weren't judging... =P

Keeping tabs on the judging process (TGing judges to remind them and so forth) is a bit of a hassle when it takes that long, but yes, there is a reason I don't volunteer to judge anymore.

Even when these threads are a pain to run, I still think it's a really positive thing to get people writing and sharing finished stories. It definitely has helped me work through some issues with my own writing. A lot of times the writing discussion thread gets more "I'm writing a fantasy novel. It's going to be the first book in a series. Here's the opening paragraph."

[Padnak]

Oh man, this looks like a good time waiting to be had

If its still open I'll cook something up and take part

[Nazi Flower Power]

Oh man, this looks like a good time waiting to be had

If its still open I'll cook something up and take part

It's open till February 28.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I am going easy on the judges and not making you read 5000 words.

It was a cool Sunday in November, and Jeff Davis was lying on the musty old sofa in his family's living room. He stared at the ceiling and watched the slow whirling of the fan. The TV was on, but Jeff's mother had insisted on watching some soap opera that he wasn't interested in. "I'm bored," Jeff complained.

"Why don't you go outside and do something?" his mother suggested.

"Like what?"

"You could play with Tommy."

"Tommy's boring."

"Well, is he more boring than lying around doing nothing?"

"Ugh."

After lying on the couch for another few minutes, Jeff decided that going outside to play with Tommy wasn't as boring as his mom's soap opera or watching the ceiling fan. Tommy Chamberlain was geekiest, wussiest, most boring boy that Jeff knew. He was no fun to play with outside because he was allergic to everything from tree pollen to bee stings, and he had a severe case of asthma that left him out of breath every time he tried to do anything the least bit athletic. And he was no fun to play with indoors because he didn't like any of the same games as Jeff did. Jeff liked violent video games with lots of guns and spaceships and robots; Tommy was more interested in Scrabble or military strategy games. Tommy's parents didn't allow him to play first person shooters, and he was too much of a goody two-shoes to do it behind their backs. In fact, Tommy never did anything behind his parents' backs, and he was always very eager to please other grown-ups as well. The Chamberlains sometimes allowed Tommy and Jeff to shoot cans off their back fence, but that was out of the question on this particular afternoon because Mrs. Davis would complain if she heard the gunshots. Tommy never liked shooting as much as Jeff did anyway.

Jeff cut across the grass into the Chamberlains' yard and found Tommy playing with his dog on the back patio. "Can I play with you?" Jeff asked. "There's nothing to do at my house."

"Okay," said Tommy.

After a while, they got bored of playing with the dog on the patio and Jeff convinced Tommy to go to the park with him. Of course, Tommy had to tell his mom where they were going because he never did anything without telling his mom. His mom admonished him to be careful, watch out for bees, not to chase after wild animals, to be home by dark, and not to talk to strangers. She sent him off with a kiss on the cheek, and then the boys set off for the park.

Jeff and Tommy talked as they walked. They took a shortcut along a paved bike path that was shaded with tall sycamore trees. The path was at the bottom of a little ravine, and there were elegant houses on the hills on either side. Out of the blue, Tommy dropped what he had been talking about before and pointed to one of the houses beside the bike path. "That's where Robert E. Lee lives," he said.

"No, it isn't," said Jeff.

"Yes, it is," Tommy insisted.

"No, it isn't," said Jeff, "Not the real Robert E. Lee."

"No, really," said Tommy. "That's where Robert E. Lee lives. The real Robert E. Lee, from the Civil War."

"That doesn't make any sense," said Jeff. "Robert E. Lee lived in the 1800's. He can't still be alive. You're just making stuff up. Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

"I'm not making it up," said Tommy. "That's really Lee's house."

They argued about it the rest of the way to the park, but then they started playing frisbee and they were standing too far apart to keep arguing. On the way home, neither of them brought it up again.

***

It was a lovely spring afternoon. Jeff was going to the park by himself, even though his mom had said he wasn't allowed to. His mom had sent him to play with Tommy, but Mr. Chamberlain had turned him away because Tommy was sick, and Jeff had decided to go to the park by himself instead of going home.

Jeff glanced up at the houses overlooking the bike path and noticed an old man cooking at a barbecue in his backyard. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have thought there was anything noteworthy about a man barbecuing in his yard, but this was the same house where Tommy had said Robert E. Lee lived, and the man did kind of look like Lee. The man waved and said, "Hello!" when he noticed Jeff looking at him.

"Hi," said Jeff. His mom had told him not to talk to strangers, and he knew he ought to be on his way, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He wanted to ask the man if he was really General Lee, but at the same time he was embarrassed to ask such a ridiculous question.

"Nice weather, isn't it?" said the man.

"Yeah," said Jeff. "Hey, do you know Tommy Chamberlain?"

"Yes, I'm good friends with his family. I'm surprised he's not with you. Would you like some chicken?"

Jeff hesitated for a moment because he knew his mother would be furious if she knew that he was eating with some man that he had just met -- but why would she ever find out? "Yeah, okay," he said, and he walked up onto the little terrace where the barbecue was set up. The man proffered a plate with several pieces of cooked chicken on it, and Jeff took a drumstick. He pulled out a chair from the man's patio table and sat down. "Do you know Tommy tells people you're Robert E. Lee?" he asked.

"That's because I am Robert E. Lee," the man answered.

Jeff paused with the drumstick halfway to his mouth. "But you're not really Lee," he said. "Maybe you're one of those re-enactors or something, but you're not the real Lee."

"No, I'm really General Lee," Lee said. "Do you want to know how I came to be alive again in the 21st century?"

Jeff just screwed up his face, unsure how to respond, but Lee ignored it and launched into his story.

"It started about twenty years ago in a little village in the North Woods of Maine," said Lee. "There was a little girl named Julia who could bring to life imaginary creatures that she read about in fairy tales. The fairies and gnomes and talking rabbits from her children's books came to visit her in her garden, and she was very good friends with them."

"Hey, I'm in 5th grade!" Jeff protested. "I know that stuff isn't real."

"Of course fairies and gnomes don't normally exist," said Lee, "but Julia had the power to bring books to life, the same way that some people can talk to ghosts or see the future. At first, nobody believed her powers were real. When she told her parents about her fairy friends, they thought she was only pretending."

"What does this have to do with Robert E. Lee?" Jeff asked.

"I'm getting to that," said Lee. "You have to be patient if you want to hear the whole story." He took the last of the chicken off the grill and brought it over to the table. "Would you like something to drink? I can get another glass if you'd like some of the tea."

Jeff wasn't sure if it was a good idea to sit around eating chicken and drinking tea with a stranger who told such outlandish stories, but he accepted the offer anyway. Lee went into the house and returned a moment later carrying a glass and a plate of biscuits. He settled into the chair across from Jeff, and they both helped themselves to food and tea. Then Lee resumed his bizarre story.

"So one day, Julia read a book about a prince who rescued a princess from a dragon, and the next day, the dragon came to the village where she lived. It burned village and killed all the people it could find, but Julia hid in the cellar where the dragon couldn't find her, and she survived the attack. After that, she had to go to live with her grandparents because the dragon had killed her parents, and she wasn't allowed to read anymore. Her grandparents hired private tutors to give her an education without letting her read, but it was very difficult, and most people didn't believe her when she told them why she wasn't allowed to read.

"Julia had always loved her books when she was a little girl, before the incident with the dragon, and she didn't like not being allowed to read. So one day she told her grandmother, 'There's no reason I can't read at all. I just have to be careful what I read about. I can't read about monsters and axe-murderers, but it won't hurt anyone if I read about plants and animals that already live in Maine.' Julia was very curious about the natural world, so finally she pursuaded her grandmother to get her some books about zoology and botany. Of course, she had to be careful of which animals she read about because it wouldn't do to have lions and tigers prowling the streets. At first she only studied species that were native to New England, but later she began studying exotic birds. The neighbors were confused by the unusual birds they found in their gardens, and Julia's grandparents had some trouble with animals digging through their garbage, but by and large, things went well. Julia was happy that she had something to read, and no one was overly troubled by the animals.

"After a while, Julia started wondering if there were other things she could read about without causing trouble, and one of her friends suggested that she could read history books as long as they were about good people. Her friend let her borrow a biography of Joshua Chamberlain, which she had read recently and found very interesting. Do you know who Joshua Chamberlain is?"

"Mm-mm," Jeff answered through a mouthful of chicken, and he shook his head. He was more interested in the chicken than the story, but he figured it would still be polite to try to follow what Lee was saying.

"Well, he was one of the Union officers who fought against me at Gettysburg," said Lee. "He had been in the military since the beginning of the war, but his defense of Little Round Top at Gettysburg was where he really caught people's attention. He was a courageous and honorable soldier, and he became a great hero with the people in the North. Chamberlain himself is a good man, but I can't imagine why on God's green Earth anyone thought it was a good idea for Julia to be reading about the War Between the States.

"A variety of men who fought at Gettysburg, on both sides, were brought to life by her powers, and not all of us were happy to see each other again. There was some trouble about finding places to sleep, and some arguments broke out about things that happened during the war. We were naturally quite confused as to how we had all come to be in modern-day Maine, so Julia and her grandparents explained it to us.

"I was curious as to what became of the dragon after it burned the village where Julia was born, but they couldn't tell me. They only said that it had disappeared after it burned the village. I was worried that it might still be alive, and that it might pose a threat to people. Julia's grandmother had showed Chamberlain how to drive her car, so I asked him to take me up to the North Woods to look for the dragon. We went to the ruins of the village where Julia was born, but there was no sign of the dragon. So we went to the next village and we asked the people there if they knew anything about it. They said that there had been a number of strange disappearances, animal attacks, and rumors of a mysterious monster roaming the woods. Some people thought the creature was a bull moose or a bear, but others thought it was something more unusual. One man thought it was Bigfoot; another thought it was Godzilla or a relative of the Loch Ness Monster.

"Chamberlain and I followed the rumors until finally we found the dragon sleeping in a hollow at the foot of a cliff on a bed of ashes and bones. We crept up to it with our guns, and Chamberlain said to me, 'So what do we do now that we've found the dragon?'

"I said, 'Is there any reason we can't just shoot it in its sleep?'

"He shot the dragon in the head, but that just woke it up and made it angry. It opened its mouth and let out a blast of flames, and he had to dive for cover so as not to be incinerated. I shot the dragon a second time, and that seemed to have more of an effect than the first shot. The dragon stumbled back as if it meant to turn and attack me, but it couldn't keep its footing. I shot it again, and the third shot finished it off.

"Once the dragon was gone, I didn't have any reason to stay in Maine, so I came home to Virginia. I got a job and saved up the money to buy this house, and that's how I came to live in your neighborhood in the 21st century."

"That's stupid," said Jeff. "There's no such thing as dragons."

"Oh, really?" said Lee. "What's Tommy's last name?"

"What's that got to do with anything?" said Jeff.

"Well, do you know his father?" asked Lee.

"Tommy's dad isn't a soldier," said Jeff. "He's some kind of nerdy college professor."

[Vancon]

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

[Nazi Flower Power]

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

Hello.

Gotta be patient while people finish their stories...

[Shaggai]

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

I'm working on it. I had a bit of a scare where I checked the word count and it said 8,000. Turns out I was looking at the character count, and the word count is definitely within the limits.

[New Kvenland]

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

About halfway through with mine, got a bit sidetracked with RL things...

[Nazi Flower Power]

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

I'm working on it. I had a bit of a scare where I checked the word count and it said 8,000. Turns out I was looking at the character count, and the word count is definitely within the limits.

I wish that was what happened to me...

[New Kvenland]

Is it illegal to ask non-judges for opinions or help? E.g., I might ask someone in my region for a translation into German, since he's a German native...

[Vancon]

Is it illegal to ask non-judges for opinions or help? E.g., I might ask someone in my region for a translation into German, since he's a German native...

I would say you can ask, but it's NFP's choice. Thought process being that you can get feedback and improve it.

However, not everyone can have this ability, and it may fuck with your original scoring.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Is it illegal to ask non-judges for opinions or help? E.g., I might ask someone in my region for a translation into German, since he's a German native...

Asking for help with a translation is OK.

If you are posting the story to ask for opinions to guide your editing process, only do it on NS, only use the same nation that you are going to use to enter the contest, and only do it during the contest that you plan to enter (i.e. if you're posting now, it should be a story you are going to enter in the winter contest, not planning ahead for spring or summer). There is precedent for using the Writing Discussion thread to ask for feedback. The limitations on this are just meant to keep things fair and ensure that the story you submit is really your work. If you post all over the place, that can make it difficult to tell if the story is really yours, and if you have a story that you've been workshopping on the forums since before this contest started, that kind of goes against the spirit of the rule that your story has to be original.

[New Kvenland]

Is it illegal to ask non-judges for opinions or help? E.g., I might ask someone in my region for a translation into German, since he's a German native...

Asking for help with a translation is OK.

If you are posting the story to ask for opinions to guide your editing process, only do it on NS, only use the same nation that you are going to use to enter the contest, and only do it during the contest that you plan to enter (i.e. if you're posting now, it should be a story you are going to enter in the winter contest, not planning ahead for spring or summer). There is precedent for using the Writing Discussion thread to ask for feedback. The limitations on this are just meant to keep things fair and ensure that the story you submit is really your work. If you post all over the place, that can make it difficult to tell if the story is really yours, and if you have a story that you've been workshopping on the forums since before this contest started, that kind of goes against the spirit of the rule that your story has to be original.

Okay, thanks!

[Laerod]

Is it illegal to ask non-judges for opinions or help? E.g., I might ask someone in my region for a translation into German, since he's a German native...

I would say you can ask, but it's NFP's choice. Thought process being that you can get feedback and improve it.

However, not everyone can have this ability, and it may fuck with your original scoring.

Conversely, fucking up the German can get you really screwed.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I would say you can ask, but it's NFP's choice. Thought process being that you can get feedback and improve it.

However, not everyone can have this ability, and it may fuck with your original scoring.

Conversely, fucking up the German can get you really screwed.

Especially with you judging.

[Vancon]

Personally, I'd say fuck the german, because unless it is vitally important you should leave out something that can cause you problems.

[Zunkwentania]

I'm not the best at writing, but eh... I'll enter.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I'm not the best at writing, but eh... I'll enter.

It's good practice even if you don't win.

[Lavan Tiri]

Tagged. Will write l8r!

[New Kvenland]

Personally, I'd say fuck the german, because unless it is vitally important you should leave out something that can cause you problems.

Actually, I replaced the German for Farsi (which a member of my region was able to translate). It's only one phrase, not a massive chunk of dialogue...

[New Kvenland]

Personally, I'd say fuck the german, because unless it is vitally important you should leave out something that can cause you problems.

Actually, I replaced the German for Farsi (which a member of my region was able to translate). It's only one phrase, not a massive chunk of dialogue...

Thanks for that, Zunk