World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

RP CUT-OFF for the Krytenia groups.

I've sent all the data to Kry so he can post all of the scores simultaneously later tonight; me, I have to go to bed.

[Krytenia]

RP Cutoff for the Holy Empire groups.

Valanora has agreed to scorinate my result, on condition that I refrain from using the word

"Valanoran"

for the remainder of the Cup.

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Pride done Group Nine uncertain

After the national football team's draw with Kelssek in their first World Cup 50 finals match, both teams scoring once, General Carlos Lopez admitted he was not sure whether either side, or both combined, had done qualifying Group Nine proud. "I mean, we both took away a point, so that's respectable," Lopez began, before noting that "there were three points on the table today, and all told, we only came up with two of them between us. I do think that that's less than desirable, it would really have been more impressive if we'd come away with all three. And reaffirmed the validity of the qualifying results, to boot." Aguazul defeated Kelssek in both of the teams' qualifying matchups.

Kelssek were playing with a depleted side, after several of their players had been injured. Despite this, they attacked with more confidence than they had in qualifying, perhaps because they were newly aware they were not taking on a Ringwraith. They broke through first, in minute 26; Adrian Wessels dribbled around Sergio Bustamante and set up Ian Sinclair for the opening goal. After halftime, however, Aguazul were immediately on the attack. With Miguel Salamea starting in place of the injured Francois St. Louis, Kelssek's defense was weaker on the left, and Alvaro Sáez took advantage of that to send a looping shot in and equalize. The momentum did not carry, however, and neither team was able to score again.

Cristian Delgado refused to blame Kelssek's greater awareness of Aguazul's playing strategy for the arguable decline in performance. "Look, the draw was some time ago, and Tupper seems to have recovered very well," he said, asserting that "no decent country would condone some of the stuff that went on. We had just as much opportunity to familiarize ourselves with them. With the injuries, this should have been an easier fight for us, but it was a contested game. I for one do believe we did Group Nine proud. The Archregimancy are up next, and they've already admitted that they could be vulnerable against us."

Lopez, of course, was not as quick to ascribe pride. "I mean, where's that third point? Not like Delaclava are exactly helping the cause, are they?" The Phoenixes faced a personnel nightmare even worse than Kelssek's prior to a defeat to Burchadinger in the Cup of Harmony. "Tyrrin, Westmeadow Tavern, so they picked up draws. Well, that gives four. I just don't think this was the ideal situation." Lopez brought his remarks to an abrupt end after being questioned on whether a Kelssek victory would have brought equal pride to the qualifying group.

[Jeruselem]

Young Princess Helena Troi Dallas with Jeruselem coach Marc Klink

Marc: That was a farce.
Helena: Why did poor Juzzie get sent off?
Marc: Apparently for diving.
Helena: Juzzie doesn't dive, she's just clumsy.

Marc: Apparently, the ref though she dived.
Helena: I can dive better than Juzzie, she just tripped over something.
Marc: I saw some people throwing stuff at us.
Helena: I'm sure they weren't any Islanders.

Marc: I think she tripped over the stuff being throw at us.
Helena: She's blaming herself being sent off and us losing.
Marc: She's not one point fingers at 3rd parties, unlike some people I know.
Helena: Like me and Mum.

Marc: You're like your mother.
Helena: Look, the field is covered in Pistachio nuts
Marc: Juzzie isn't exactly the most elegant player out there.
Helena: She's a bit clumsy and when she slips, it looks like diving.

Marc: Oh well, we lost 3-2 and we face SN next.
Helena: We have hope, SN drew with Bostopia.
Marc: Thank the Ox for that.
Helena: Where's Mum?

Marc: She's giving some officials a bit of advice.
Helena: Like telling them the ref is a f**king idiot.
Marc: Yes, but in a more subtle manner.
Helena: Mum isn't subtle, really.

Marc: I saw some guy throwing a bag of nuts at you.
Helena: Well, he missed.
Marc: You sure move quick.
Helena: I'm a trainee Ninja.

Marc: You moved so fact, you could the bag of nuts.
Helena: Can't waste good food. Mind you, the nuts were substandard. Pups sells better nuts.
Marc: No one threw stuff at me.
Helena: It's a thing reserved for a Dallas girl.

Marc: I'm worried but at least Qazox and Jeru FC won.
Helena: We should have won.
Marc: It's easier with 11 players, not 10. Now don't do anything silly.
Helena: Me? I haven't done anything.

Marc: I guess we all have to work harder and hope we can beat SN and then Bostopia.
Helena: If SN draw with Bostopia, so can we.
Marc: Say, the guy throwing nuts at you. Where is he?
Helena: I dunno, he ran off after he missed.

Marc: It's not looking good, we can't afford anything less than two wins now.
Helena: If these Islanders can be us, we can beat a higher team too.
Marc: Good point, any team can lose anytime.
Helena: I'm going get a vacuum cleaner now.

Marc: For what reason?
Helena: There's Pistachio nuts everywhere around here, it's a bloody mess.
Marc: Surely you aren't going eat them?
Helena: No, people throw nuts at me, they'll get a huge bag back in the face.

Marc: I don't want people getting hurt.
Helena: I won't kill anyone.
Marc: Retalitation isn't the best option.
Helena: I suppose, but I can't promise anything.

Marc: You're going to be trouble like your ancient name-sake Helen of Troy.
Helena: Well, I am not your average teenage skank.
Marc: Your mother wasn't much better behaved.
Helena: It's a maternal thing, it's not my fault.

Marie: Sorry guys, they won't look into Juzzie's red card diving.
Marc: Maybe it's a good thing, she's Bostopian and we're playing SN next.
Marie: Well, maybe ...
Marc: You'd better keep this Helen of Troy under control

Marie: People throwing nuts at my daughter?
Marc: Yes, she's threatening retalitation.
Marie: Idiots deserve to be roasted on a spit like pigs you know.
Marc: I see why you blame your mother for your personality Helena.

Marie: Hey, there's nothing wrong with what I just said.

[Qazox]

WORLD CUP 50 Coverage

Qazox defeated Septentrionia 3-0, as somehow the Septentrionians were invisible, but thanks to some infrared goggles, the Pheonix were easily able to see their opponents and avoid their suprise attacks and defense that had gotten them this far.

In the 24th minute, despite the limited vision brought on by the goggles, Issac McErghon found his way through the defense and managed to slip a shoit into the back of the net, giving Qazox a 1-0 lead. Despite being able to see the invisible players, Qazox still struggled to get any decent shots off for the remainder of the first half.

Just before the beginning of the second half, a light drizzle began to fall; and the outlines of the Septentrionian players, albeit a bit fuzzy; came into view, allowing the Pheonix not to have to use the infrared goggles, and that opened the game up. Just 7 minutes into the 2nd half, Erica Hansen made it 2-0 and Haley Johnson made it 3-0 in the 63rd minute. Shortly after the drizzle stopped, and the Qazoxian players couldn't get the goggles back on. So Kallie Jaus told all 11 players to sit back in the defensive end and clear the ball out at every oppertunity. The plan worked, as Septentrionia couldn't get a shot on net afterwards, despite having possession for almost 77% of the 2nd half.

Up next is Jeru FC, 3-2 winners over Peisandros earlier in the day. If Qazox can emerge victorious, then advancement to the next round would all but be assured.

[Cafundeu]

LINHA DE FUNDO – THE DAILY FOOTBALL NEWSPAPER
The number one source for football news in Cafundéu... or at least we believe we are

World Cup 50 – full coverage
article written by Wladmir Sereno, with comments from TV live broadcasts, and interviews by reporter Guilherme Nogueira

---

A NEW REALITY

Cafundelense players expecting for game's start

People were expecting the first games of the World Cup with great anticipation, waiting for exciting games and many goals from the World’s best players. And, among all the matches in the group stage, the one involving Cafundéu and Sarzonia was widely considered as the main one. That was understandable. Among all the scheduled games in the initial stage of competition, the clash between the Monopolists and the Stars was a game between two nations at top form, which did extremely well in the qualifiers and were looking for the title. Even though others argued that the match between Starblaydia and Candelaria And Marquez involved much more titles, the recent performances of the Starblaydi destroyed some of that game’s magic. So, the whole world was curious to watch the game involving the Cafundelenses and Sarzonians.

But perhaps the outcome wasn’t the expected one for most of the fans. They didn’t see plenty of opportunity for both sides, or beautiful plays from the feet of some of the best players in the world. Of course the disappointment was even bigger for the fans of the Monopolists, as after all Cafundéu lost the match, but everyone else found the game very different than the initial predictions. Even though Sarzonia’s supporters were happy, they could not avoid feeling something strange by the way the game was played. And the reason is only one: the game was a shock of reality for both sides. After destroying their opponents in the qualifiers, both teams got used to reaching the offence easily, and now faced a new style of opponent: a top one. Now the situation is very different, and a hard work will have to be done in order to make the adaptation.

THE FIRST HALF: since before the beginning of the game, there was a certain climate of tension. Both squads were under huge pressure, thanks to the enormous confidence of their respective fans and associations. All the Cafundelenses and Sarzonians were almost sure of the victory of their sides, and maybe some fans of the Stars were even awaiting for a good margin due to their ranking superiority… as said before, the shock of reality would take everyone by surprise, transforming that confidence in enormous worry during the entire game… but, as nothing is always the way it seems, this worry wasn’t because of a huge pressure made by the teams. We’ll get in this part. Before it, it is necessary to comment about the beginning of the match.

Braddock fielded the usual starting eleven for Sarzonia, a team which had a good amount of knowledge on most of Cafundéu’s players, by playing in the CCFM league. Also, why change a team that is winning? On Cafundéu’s side, Waldenyr fielded the team he was using lately, using the same mentality. And, since the beginning, both teams attacked hard, willing to move towards scoring each time they had the possession. Surprisingly, this didn’t result in pressure. Even though the intent was to attack, the defensive midfields of both teams were well prepared and stopped most of the attempts, closing the game and restricting it in a battle for midfield domination… something neither of the teams managed. Not expecting these difficulties, both sides started using long passes to reach the area, without success… not until the eighteenth minute.

In that moment of the game, a long ranged crossing made by Salivani was disputed by players inside the area, and Wilson got tripped by Rodríguez. The referee, near the ball, called the penalty kick. The same Zack Wilson asked to take it and scored the first goal of the game, with a strong shot. After the goal, the game didn’t change much. Long passes, few efficient moves, most stopping on strong defensive lines. The expected open game full of opportunities and shots was very distant from the reality, and Cafundéu’s goal would also come from a penalty kick. Luisinho managed to tackle Morrison and pass the ball to Welton who, soon after invading the area, fell after a contact with Davis. Miguel Silva took the penalty kick and, with a low shot in the middle of the goal, tied the match. That was one of the last interesting moments of the first half.

BRENO GAVIÃO'S MOMENT 1 (Miguel Silva’s goal): “Cotuba carrrrrrrries the ball on the left wing, not many options available, Sarrrrrzonia could rrrrreturrrrrn to defence prrrrretty quickly. He makes a pass to Luisinho, that wasn’t a big advancement. Moves with the ball, opponents marrrrrking the Cafundelenses… wrrrrrong pass, dirrrrrectly to Morrrrrrrrison. Can be a good counterrrrrattack chance for… wait, Luisinho took the ball back, imprrrrrressive move! May be the opening we werrrrre waiting for, found the pass to Welton, now inside the arrrrrea, cuts inside… and is brrrrrought down! It’s a penalty! Penalty for Cafundéu! The rrrrreferrrrre was verrrrry securrrrre of that one, and Miguel Silva will take it. Seems focused, shoots… look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Miguel Silva, number ten! Now the scorrrrreline is Cafundéu one, Sarrrrrzonia one! Tirrrrred of being unable to do anything to safe yourrrrrself when bitten by a snake? Get now your perrrrrsonal snake bite antidote, available in the best drrrrrugstorrrrres!”

Miguel Silva commemorates his goal

THE SECOND HALF: during halftime, it was evident that both teams were craving for a more tactical approach of the game, one that could lead them to efficient attacking moves, those which didn’t happen in the first half. Both coaches, Caldas and Braddock, seemed committed in making that happen. But there was an obvious difference. Waldenyr Caldas is a praised coach, ambitious and talented, but the knowledge of Braddock is legendary, with the man being seen as the soul of Cafundelense coaching style, an extremely tactical one by nature. It would be really difficult to beat that one. But, anyway, both teams returned for the second half willing to take a more cerebral approach to the game, knowing that their offensive abilities alone would not be enough to take the victory in a battle between two world class nations.

Sarzonia looked to take control of the midfield through possession and a slow pace, a style much used by Franz Braddock in the TQCC-winning Petardos S/A squad, with the duo Alfonso Di Angelo and Laborious Hawk. With this, it slowly gained terrain and stopped the opponents from setting up moves. But, once again, they stopped in good defensive lines prepared to halt any initiative. Sometimes the ball reached Lynch or Wilson, and they could even shoot, but not enough times. As for the Monopolists, Waldenyr hoped to find the net with crossings, a heterodox tactic by Cafundelense standards. Although it is true that many clubs relies on their full-backs, crossing the ball to the area all the times is hardly a liked option… and, sadly for Caldas, this didn’t work well, with the Stars’ defenders being able to win most of the aerial battles, and their losses ended in innocent header finishes.

For the fans who get excited only with huge offensive pressures and shots at the goal, the game was becoming more and more frustrating at each passing minute, but others started to consider that a spectacle. That was a brilliant duel of distinct tactics, a clash between strong lines of defence and offence. Substitutions came from both teams in desperate attempts to change the fate of the game, and it would be changed. Rodney was with the ball in the midfield and passed it to Lester, who had been forced to go back to midfield to receive a pass. Suddenly, he was brought down by Werner. Foul, not very close from the area but at shooting range. And, to decide the game, Morrison took the free kick and shot directly to the goal, in an impressive strong shot that caught Garrido by surprise, and sent the ball to the net.

BRENO GAVIÃO'S MOMENT 2 (Morrison’s goal): “That’s Rrrrrodney in the midfield, good ball contrrrrrol even with the marrrrrking prrrrressure of Luisinho. Difficult to find some space, it has been this way durrrrring the whole game. Exchanges passes with Salivani, gets the ball back some metrrrrres ahead. The attackerrrrrs rrrrreturrrrrn to midfield asking for the ball, Lester takes it… and is met violently by Werrrrrner, frrrrree kick to Sarrrrrzonia. Therrrrre’ll surrrrrely be a yellow carrrrrd to Werrrrrner now. Not close this one, I believe therrrrre’ll be a crrrrrossing. Morrrrrrrrison to take it, takes some distance… he shoots… and it’s a goal! Goal for Sarrrrrzonia, a missile frrrrrom Morrrrrrrison! Nothing could stop it… the wall, Garrrrrrrrido… the ball went dirrrrrectly to the goal! Now Sarrrrrzonia has two goals, Cafundéu only one. Are you tirrrrred of having to leave your worrrrrk table everrrrrytime naturrrrre calls you? Forget this, herrrrre is the solution! Buy now our sensational bathrrrrroom-computer chair, your perrrrrsonal toilet in your worrrrk table!”

GUILHERME NOGUEIRA – INTERVIEWS/GAME VIEW: this was a game that Cafundéu didn’t have to face for a long time. Even in our loss against Secristan, the game was very open and they won thanks to their good attackers who were doing excellent performances. This time, there was much more battle in the midfield, much more sweat and thinking from both sides. Surely a test, and I wouldn’t say that Cafundéu failed this one, even though the Stars were the victorious side. Of course, we will only know this in our second match, when we’ll see if the Monopolists kept the confidence and focus on the World Cup title. I’m going to believe that we did a good job against a team with some better players than ours, the proof of this being that they are stars of Cafundelense teams and, even though many CCFM directors are going to deny this, lead by an extremely capable coach.

To the interviews, then? Keeping the customs, Waldenyr Caldas was the first to talk, after leaving the playing field going to the locker room. He said: “Not much to talk right now… they shut our offensive power and, even though we almost did the same, it was not enough. But everyone knew that was going to be our most difficult game, one of three, so there is no reason to get desperate or to lose the confidence in this squad.” Curiously, another one to give interview to us was Franz Braddock, who gave some words, although these may be very different from what he says for the Sarzonia media: “Things didn’t work like expected at the beginning for us, but in these situations you have to know how to adapt, and I believe we’ve succeed. Now this is a proof of our intentions in this World Cup, and a message to people who may not believe me or Sarzonia.” One of the last to leave the field, captain William told us: “Very tiring match, we had to run all game… really sad that all this effort was for nothing, as we leave the stadium today with no points. Nothing else we can do for today, we’ll focus on the next matches and correct any mistakes. Bah, we still believe in our qualification for the next round and our title chances.”

VÁLTER PALIAÚNA'S COMMENTS: “So, erm, how can I put this gently… am I the only one who wasn’t idiot enough to see this match with absurd confidence? Is everyone else in Cafundéu nuts, this including our dear Mr. Caldas? Holy &#$*%, Sarzonia’s players and coach are known for us, and we know they are damn good, yet many Cafundelenses were already preparing parties at their homes. Take this as a lesson to not underestimate other teams, especially when they are in fact better than us. It is true this doesn’t apply to all the Cafundelenses, but those who I am talking about know I am talking to them. At least the Sarzonians who underestimated us won the game, so they’ll be able to party now. And just one last message: crossings? So when things get difficult, Caldas resorts to such a desperate measure? I wonder what more we can expect from him.”

Cotuba attempting an offensive move, with Da Costa watching

CAFUNDÉU 1x2 SARZONIA

Place: New Coalfields, Osteria.
Attendance: lots of people, for sure.
Time: 19:30 Cafundelense time (20:30 local time).
Climate: clear, 23ºC.
Referee: Malek Ramanuch (Somewhereistonia).
Assistants: Henk Kromkamp and Danny Nunez (both from Nethertopia).
POTM: Ettore Salivani Jr. (Sarzonia).

CAFUNDÉU: Garrido; Radicci, Cotuba (Mané 45’), William and Rodríguez; Werner, Luisinho, Da Costa (Diego 65’) and Miguel Silva; Rafael Nunes and Welton (Gutiérrez 73’).
Coach: Waldenyr Caldas.

SARZONIA: Taylor; Davis, Maxwell and Crosley; Rodney, Morrison (Philyaw 75’), Grover, Salivani and Bocanegro (Tremblay 82’); Wilson and Lynch (Lester 69’).
Coach: Franz Braddock.

Goals:CAF: Miguel Silva 33’.
SRZ: Wilson 18’ , Morrison 71’.

---

Line-up for the next game: Garrido; Radicci, Cotuba, William and Rodríguez; Marco Aurélio, Luisinho, Rubiano and Miguel Silva; Rafael Nunes and Welton.
Coach: Waldenyr Caldas.

Referee: Chris Biffe (Qazox).

---

Less than an hour after the game, a television program in Globo Multimedia about the World Cup begins, with Breno Gavião as the main presenter. They are there to discuss about Cafundéu’s loss against Sarzonia in the first game of the cup.

BRENO – “Hello to all my frrrrriends watching us rrrrright now! We starrrrrt this post-match prrrrrogrrrrrram, and will talk about the Monopolists’ firrrrrrst game in Worrrrrrld Cup fifty, once again a loss in the opening of a cup. Damn, even the Institute doctorrrrrrs had a best starrrrrt, but that’s not a rrrrreason for unhappiness… after all, we faced the thirrrrrd best nation of the worrrrrld accorrrrrding to the rrrrrankings. And, to discuss this match, we have brrrrrought some specialists… to talk about defensive tactics as a whole, Nilan Bahsir!”

BAHSIR – “Welcome everyone watching us, I’m pleased to be part of this team. Today we saw an excellent display of defence, the proof being that the three goals were scored from set pieces.”

BRENO – “To talk about the midfield perrrrrforrrrrmances, we have Jon Schiermeier with us today. Hello!”

SCHIERMEIER – “I repeat Bahsir’s words. It’s great to be in this program, and also may say that the midfields had crucial participation in today’s game.”

BRENO – “As usual in our prrrrrogrrrrrams, Lennie Newton will comment about the attack and offensive strrrrrategies as a whole!”

NEWTON – “Well, I once again welcome the ones watching us, I’m already a veteran in this kind of program, hehe… very well, today it wasn’t really the day of the attackers, even with both teams being very offensive.”

BRENO – “To talk about coaching decisions, the rrrrretirrrrred coach and forrrrrmer coach of the Monopolists, David Nefasto!”

NEFASTO – “Hello all.”

BRENO – “And, at last, we have the rrrrretirrrrred rrrrreferrrrree Zet Plomaker, who is herrrre to comment about rrrrreferrrrreeing decisions.”

PLOMAKER – “As expected. It is a great honour to be part of this program and to share my knowledge and opinions with the viewers.”

BRENO – “So be it. We’ll starrrrrt by hearrrrring some worrrrrds frrrrrom Waldenyr Caldas in the post-match interrrrrview, and then will give the worrrrrd to you, Nefasto, for you to comment on his decisions durrrrring the game.”

Through a screen, the members of the TV show watch an interview by the coach of Cafundéu:

CALDAS – “As you can see, I have not failed the Cafundelense National Team. I spotted all the difficulties which appeared and acted to counter them. We were with the draw at hand, which was a good result, when things out of my control acted. So this loss was certainly not my fault. Werner fouled when he shouldn’t have, and this cost us at least a point. Due to this, he won’t start the next game, I need a player more concentrated. As for my decisions during the game, we may have not scored, but the number of chances we had was far bigger in the second half, so I can’t see how I did wrong.”

BRENO – “So, these werrrrre the worrrrrds of Waldenyr Caldas rrrrright after the game. Do you agrrrrree with him, David?”

NEFASTO – “I believe we know well the style of Mr. Caldas by now, and we know that he isn’t willing to admit any mistakes. I praise his determination, his ambition, but it is very uncomfortable to see him putting the blame of the team’s loss on a single player. That’s a sad thing to hear. But to his decisions during the game. We can criticize him, say that the strategy he prepared was wrong, but… was there really a right one at that moment? Neither Franz Braddock, who is a reference in tactical approach of a match, managed to find the perfect strategy for that game. Waldenyr made a bet, and lost. I too am not fond of crossing the ball at any chance like he ordered his players to do, but… it is difficult to see a tactic that would have delivered a better result. What I meant to say is: this game cannot be used as an example of a bad Cafundéu game, and therefore there is no reason to condemn our players or our coach. But now the demands are high on the next matches.”

BRENO – “That was good for you to comment about Braddock’s tactics… do you have anything to say about them?”

NEFASTO – “Let me congratulate you first for speaking such a long phrase without any long “Rs”. No one can deny Franz’s talents, his view of the game… these really are beyond comparison. But this game served for, at least in my opinion, point out a flaw on his style: he has become very predictable. Sarzonia’s formation and tactics at the beginning of the game were very similar to some of old teams he had commanded, and similar to the way the team played at the qualifiers too. At that point, it is alright, as most nations have the same situation. But, when he was forced to change, he did it brilliant but… following his style as ever, changes of strategies that were common in Cafundéu when he coached the Monopolists and in Petardos S/A. I practically saw Ijak’s Petardos S/A playing against Ke Sho’s Atlético Jutense, if you permit me an example. Braddock using a good exchange of passes to try to breach an organized defensive line. Let me be clear to say that his decisions are still brilliant, but those who know him as the Cafundelenses do, and now many others as he is famous, will be able to predict these moves and counter them, this can be a serious flaw… maybe the reason why the CCFM released him a long time ago, he was already showing signs of that.”

BRENO – “Grrrrreat explanation. Now, Nilan, about the defensive strrrrructurrrrres of both teams?”

BAHSIR – “Curiously, as I’ve said before, both squads have very offensive game strategies. But their defenders are good, and due to their necessity to play superbly in order to hold the opponent’s attacks, the game slowly moved to a more defensive situation. The attackers started to lose nearly all battles to the defenders, on both sides, and the worry of counterattacks increased, forcing the midfield to retreat and retreat at each play. At nearly the half of the first half, most of the midfield was marking a lot and advancing less than usual, and this may have had an impact in the way the game was played. This got even stronger in the second half, due to the style changes. With the Monopolists crossing the ball a lot, the Sarzonians had to increase the number of players inside their area, strengthening the defence. On the other hand, the slow pace of Sarzonia’s game in the second half helped the Cafundelenses to organize the defence better, and to only act against their opponents when they were already on the attacking zone. The only things that stain a great game on the defensive side are the penalty kicks, which were the major failures of the defences in this match. If it weren’t for them, the defenders would be extremely proud of their performance.”

BRENO – “To the midfield, Schiermeier?”

SCHIERMEIER – “The key of the game was there, in the midfield: the dominance there would result in the victory, without any doubt, as it could be seen by the end of the first half. The disputes for the ball were there, the difficulties in holding possession were there. It is also true that this is exactly the reason why the game didn’t have as many goal chances as it was expected. The complications to leave the midfield zone had more impact than a bad day of the attackers or a good day of the defenders, at a point I suggest that the good defensive day was thanks to defensive midfielders rather than the true defenders. And both coaches understood that the battle for midfield dominance was what was stopping them and the key for the victory: Caldas attempted to overcome the tough midfield area by sending the game to the wings and relying on crossings and long passes to make a link directly from defence to the attack. Braddock used possession as a weapon to gain territory in the midfield and, as a result, dominate the zone. Neither of them was really successful, but I praise Braddock’s tactic much more because, instead of avoiding the problem, he decided to face it and defeat it, something that if successful would have much more importance.”

BRENO – “Wow, many thanks for your comments… Newton, what about the offensive parrrrrt of this game, how to you see it?”

NEWTON – “Schiermeier was completely right. The difficulties in the midfield destroyed the attack of both teams. Okay, one can say that the attackers had a bad performance… only Wilson really had a vital influence in the match. But it is really difficult to do something when the ball doesn’t get forward, and that was what was happening. Welton, for example, has to be fed, and he hardly touched the ball. Waldenyr’s substitution taking him out for Gutiérrez was… accurate in this point, but completely wrong if we think that at that point Cafundéu only attacked with crossings to the area, so that made no sense. About Sarzonia, I didn’t get Braddock’s decision to bring Lester in the place of Lynch. Matt is a much better player if the attacker has to return to receive the ball, Lester is more of a target player… don’t know much about his reasons, but that was difficult to understand. As a proof, just see the play that ended in Werner’s foul on Lester… the attacker was returning to the midfield to receive the ball, as he couldn’t get it inside the area… Lynch would be able to start a much better move from there. It was lucky that the foul happened. In the end, not a game that gave an advantage for the forwards, on the contrary.”

BRENO – Good to hear frrrrrrom you… we arrrrre almost done, but let’s hear the opinions about the rrrrreferrrrreeing. Plomaker?”

PLOMAKER – “At first, I really doubted about Ramanuch’s capacity to lead such a big game, it probably is his biggest so far. He is still a young referee, one of the surprises for this World Cup. The linesmen are more experienced, and helped him a lot during the game, but my final opinions about his performance are very good. He had no fear in making the calls, especially the penalties which were clear ones in my opinion. An okay number of cards, he handled the game well, avoided stopping the game unnecessarily… much better than the average performance of the referees out there, so I’ll rate him much higher after today. But the style of the match also helped him. The players were not in violent mood, few fouls happened and no aggression cases or confusions. This gave him the opportunity to be calm and gentle, and bring the game to its end smoothly. About the linesmen, these had to work a lot… of course there were some wrong calls, but luckily none that changed the fate of the match, which is already a good thing. Cafundéu’s style in the second half forced them to work after all… so many crossings made many attackers stay on offside positions. About the next game, Biffe has more experience, and is on good form, so we may expect another good refereeing.”

BRENO – “Good to hear, we all hate when the rrrrreferrrrree ends changing the fate of a match. Well, as a last thing we will hear some words from the President of the CCFM, The Scout, and also a surrrrrprrrrrise message.

Again on the screen:

THE SCOUT – “Just watched the game, Breno and all his friends on the studio. And please consider this as a message to all the Cafundelenses anxious to see the Monopolists doing a good job in the World Cup. We did well. Of course points were needed, and our failure to get them was a sad point, but this is not something to cry for, at least not now. Our next game presents a great chance of recovery for ourselves, and we must keep our confidence that we will get the win. But let me talk about something I know better: player performances. I’ve already talked with Waldenyr about this. I believe Luisinho was our best player in today’s game. Miguel Silva had limited participation and, if both perform well, it’ll be difficult to stop us. On Sarzonia’s side, I must praise the control of their midfield as a whole.”

BRENO – “Many thanks, Mr. Scout.”

EASTER BUNNY – “And may I comment about the game too?”

BRENO – “Of courrrrrse… you said you werrrrre going to give a surrrrrprrrrrise message…”

EASTER BUNNY – “Well, the Cafundelenses surely lost a lot of energy during this game, by running back and forth… I’d suggest them to eat some chocolate before the next match so they could get their forces back… just don’t eat too much or you can end too fate, and unable to be at full speed… oh, and I was almost forgetting… the right chocolate to eat is Daluz Chocolate, directly from Dunboor to your home!”

BRENO – “I knew this bunny was hirrrrred by some company… well, with this sponsor message we end our prrrrrogrrrrram today. Thanks for watching!”

[Jeru FC]

Jeru FC coach Ailill Ó Riagáin with Samantha Sallad

Ailill: What's the problem, our boys had a good win.
Sam: It's not Jeru FC ...
Ailill: Oh, Jeruselem lost it's game. I see. Nice dive there.
Sam: She didn't dive!

Ailill: She's a Bostopian ya know.
Sam: I know she's a silly Bostopia but she's not the diving sort.
Ailill: Admittedly, there was a lot of Pistachio nuts on the ground.
Sam: I wonder who threw them at my relatives.

Ailill: Looks like some of my compatriots turned up at the game.
Sam: Yes, I noticed that.
Ailill: Hang on, Jeruselem play SN next. And we play Qazox.
Sam: At least Jeru FC have 3 points compared to zero.

Ailill: I'm worried about SN not beating Bostopia
Sam: So you're supporting SN and not Jeruselem then.
Ailill: Well, I am from SN.
Sam: This game against Qazox is going to be a bit of headache.

Ailill: Who to support?
Sam: Jeru FC but then Qazox are our friends - we want them to qualify too.
Ailill: And I support SN who face Jeruselem, which both need a win.
Sam: Yes, this is all getting messy.

Ailill: I have to my job and guide my team to the 2nd round.
Sam: You're nearly there.
Ailill: Well, a loss to Qazox would not be helpful to the cause.
Sam: Jeruselem need to beat SN and hope the Islanders beat Bostopia.

Ailill: Which isn't very likely
Sam: You never know.
Ailill: Football is cruel sport.
Sam: At least Jeruselem should have one team in the 2nd round, if you do your job.

Ailill: It's the best job in the world.
Sam: I thought coaching SN would be.
Ailill: No political backstabbing from the homeland.
Sam: I see ...

Ailill: And not bad lot of guys to work with
Sam: Well meaning bunch of idiots
Ailill: That's pretty much them.
Sam: We live in interesting times.

Ailill: All I can say is, I'd prefer Jeruselem to Bostopia make the 2nd round if SN don't make it.
Sam: Why is that?
Ailill: Bostopians are ...
Sam: Bostopians ...

Ailill: That's it.

[Secristan]

MILLIONAIRES SEND LOCALS HOME DISAPPOINTED

We are not able to provide you and specific details about just how the Millionaires were able to get an opening matchday draw against the home nation of Krytenia due to the restrictions which are not being lifted by the Secristan Department of Sports. If you want to see footage of the 2-2 draw at Krytenia’s featured stadium in Emberton, then you will need to go the SDOS’ website and purchase the webcast, or various clips. We can speak of the experience as a fan at the stadium, and we can assure you that these people were very excited their Aces playing at home in the World Cup. It was the job of the Millionaires to make sure that Krytenia suffers the same fate of the last World Cup host with a sky blue flag, and to not allow them to advance to the round of 16. Secristanis that were able to get tickets for the game seemed to have pretty favorable opinions of the stadium in general despite the cheap price for tickets and concessions. Cheap according to our standards, not as much of the Krytenia fans. One Secristani fan said that they in fact had something in common with Krytenians, “The rivalry with Sarzonia. I was talking to this one guy, he was pretty old, and he was talking about this game that went into penalty kicks against Sarzonia. Then I got to talking about World Cup 48, and the lacrosse.” We thought the game was very exciting, but the home fans wanted it scripted as a Krytenia win. The draw was bittersweet for them, and almost as good as a win for us. With the Han losing to Schiavonia, the group is already looking pretty interesting.

[The Babbage Islands]

OUSEVALE, Krytenia (BPA) -- The Babbage Islands national football team sit atop their qualifying group in World Cup 50 action after the first round.

The Bumblebees recorded their first win in four tries over Jeruselem by a 3:2 score, aided by a red card late in the first half when down 1:0. Less than a minute after the eleven-on-ten situation began, Tegan Nash threaded the needle to Patty Heatherly for her first of two goals on the night to send both teams to the interval at 1:1.

Heatherly put the Bumblebees ahead in the 54th minute when the ball emerged from a cluster fielding an Orson Cook corner and she chipped it just outside the reach of keeper Gavin Gallstone. Her two goals would prove enough to secure Woman of the Match honours. Yet Jeruselem battled back. Midfielder Katrina Kool exploited nicely the slip-and-fall of Babbage defender Phyllis Reeves, finding Lachlan Burditch just outside the box ready to equalise at 2:2.

Two penalty calls would then prove decisive. Cook was hauled down in the area in the 79th minute to prevent a score. However, after the ball wound up at the penalty mark Tegan Nash made no mistake and the score was 3:2. Seven minutes later Wilhelm Freudigmann of the Bumblebees did the same thing to a breaking Burditch and was whistled for a penalty on the other end. But Bumblebee keeper Solveig Þorsteinsdóttir made one of the biggest saves of her career to preserve a hard-fought win.

In the other Group D match, favourites Sorthern Northland were held to a 2:2 draw by the Bumblebees' next opponent, Bostonia. The Bostonians have played the Babbage eleven only once, and won that World Cup 49 group stage encounter 2:0.

Injury update: Kelli Alder is expected to start in place of Debbie Sherman against Bostopia. Sherman left the Jeruselem match in the 72d minute after a nasty collision.

[The Archregimancy]

<OOC - the below mixes both Orthodox and Catholic themes for additional effect (and a quick Thomas Hardy reference), though I'm not sure how many will catch them>

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden Throated


"...tonight for the Archregimancy's opening match of World Cup 50 live here at the Imperial Hippodrome against the co hosts, and our political overlords, the Holy Empire. Fr. Nicholas?"

"It promises to be an exciting match, Fr. John, and one which both nations must have hoped to avoid; but we're all anxiously waiting to see what form the Archregimancy monks' 'greatest dream' is here today."

"Do you mind explaining that for some of the more isolated hermits watching tonight?"

"Of course... For this tournament, the Holy Empire's squad takes the form of their opponents' greatest dream. So many viewers, both here in the Dreamed Realm and in Ordinary reality, are eagerly anticipating seeing what the monastic footballers' greatest dream might be during Holy Week."

"And I'll just interupt you there, Fr. Nicholas, because the Prince Imperial has just entered the Royal Box, along with the Imperial Patriarch and Metropolitan Mark of the Grand Lavra... All the major figures are turning out tonight!"

"Except for the Basileus, who no doubt wants to maintain a show of neutrality."

"And the Archregimancy players are taking to the pitch, led by captain Fr. Polycarp the Venerable... and can you see who they're facing yet, Fr. Nicholas?"

"Yes... the Imperial squad are... and... OH MY! THIS IS QUITE INCREDIBLE! IT'S..."

"I agree, Fr. Nicholas, because it looks like the Archregimancy are facing... THE APOSTLES OF OUR LORD! I have the team sheet in front of me, and the Imperial squad are lining up as follows:

Goal:
St. Peter (cpt.)

Def:
St. Andrew, the brother of Peter.
St. James the Greater, the brother of John.
St. John, the brother of James

Mid:
St. Philip
St. Bartholomew
St. Matthew
St. Thomas
St. James the Less

For:
St. Thaddeus
St. Simon 'the Zealot'

Subs:
Judas Iscariot
St. Matthias
St. Jude
St. Paul

That's quite the line up, Fr. Nicholas."

"I agree; the Archregimancy squad appear to be in awe of their opponents, who appear to using family links to form a particularly intimidating defence; though no doubt some of the monks will be looking forward to calling themselves 'equal of the Apostles' if they can get a result tonight."

<15th minute>

"...monks are looking strangely tentative, unsure of how to proceed against these living saints. St. James the Greater strokes a pass to his brother, who sends a magnificent cross field pass to St. Philip down the left wing. He skips past a challenge from Fr. Pavel, evades Fr. Michael the Lesser, and sends in a deep cross... I seriously doubt St. Thomas will reach that... BUT I WAS WRONG!!! GOAL! St. Thomas sends a first touch volley past the helpless Fr. Justinian, and it's 1-0 to the Holy Empire!"

<half time>

"...could have been three. Fr. Nicholas?"

"The Archregimancy are completely outmatched out there, Fr. John. They just don't seem to know what to do. St. James the Less has been the only disappointment so far for the co-hosts, looking a little tired on the right wing. But if Tzimisces makes a substitute in that position, I don't see how the monks stand a chance against the Apostles."

"The players are coming back out, and, yes Tzimisces has made a substitution. Judas Iscariot replaces St. James the Less on the right; a strange choice. Many might have expected to see St. Paul, who is rumoured to be supremely successful in converting his crosses, but Iscariot it is."


<50th minute>

"... St. Peter sends a long ball upfield, and it's gathered by Fr. David. He sends a speculative ball upfield..."

"They're just wasting possession, Fr. John."

"And it's gathered by Judas Iscariot, who's drifted in from the right. Iscariot turns, and... SENDS A POWERFUL SHOT INTO HIS OWN NET!!!! AN OWN GOAL BY JUDAS ISCARIOT!!!"

"He did that on purpose! What a spectacular betrayal!"

"And... I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! ISCARIOT PUNCHES THE REFEREE!!"

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, Fr. John. He's committed career suicide in front of millions, possible billions of viewers. And, yes, the Weegian referee has no choice but to send Judas Iscariot off..."

"It looks like Tzimisces is making a couple more substitutions. He's taking off St. Thaddeus and St. Simon, putting on St. Mathtias, who replaces Iscariot on the right wing, and St. Jude will come on to work as a lone forward. So, with 40 minutes left, it's 1:1 thanks to Iscariot's betrayal, and you have to say it's game on."

<88th minute>

"... St. Peter saves another shot from Fr. Silouan, and you have to say that this magnificent goalkeeping performance is all that's been saving the Holy Empire from a drubbing these last 20 minutes."

"He's a rock at the heart of that Imperial defence Fr. John, the cornerstone that this team's reputation will be built on, and clearly first among equals in his squad, though the captain is displaying some admirable collegiality at discussing set pieces, despite that inexplicable incident earlier involving a shouting match with the unused substitute St. Paul."

"But realistically, you'd have to say this a lost cause. But St. Jude dispossesses Fr. Andrew, dribbles past Fr. Dmitri, and... NO ONE SAW THAT ONE COMING!!! St. Jude, plucked from obscurity on the bench, unleashes a Tzimisces like rocket, and rescues what just seconds ago I was calling a lost cause! 2:1 to the Holy Empire with just seconds left!"

"And the monks look gutted, Fr. John. Absolutely gutted. Seconds away from being proclaimed equal to the Apostles.. that's a real kick in the teeth from Our Lord and Saviour's Disciples..."

<final whistle>

"...thrilling match, destined to be remembered for that extraordinary incident involving Judas Iscariot comes to an end with the Archregimancy's players venerating the opposition, as well they might."

[Cassadaigua]

Kirsten Hopkins smiled as her friend Shannon Myers faxed over the official signed contract to play for Belgium FC during the upcoming soccer season in The Babbage Islands. She high-fived her new husband knowing that her connection to the World Cup team was doing wonderful things for Belgium which in turn should lead to the team getting promoted in the next season. Then she felt something. This was different then before, it was much more intense.

“Chip, get me to the hospital! Now! He’s coming!”

Chip didn’t need to ask any more, and the two-time NSSCRA champion hopped in his personal car and weaved in an out of traffic very confidently at a high speed like only a professional race car driver would be able to do. When they got to the hospital, it started to appear as though this was only a false alarm, the doctors told the couple that it would likely be soon but she was not quite ready to deliver just yet. Now between themselves, Kirsten turned to Chip,

“That letter from the Orthodox Church. I think maybe that is the way we should go.” she paused “They seem to be really interested and the Orthodox faith is appealing you know. I mean, the soccer team. They are like, there, right? The great Orthodox nation of The Archregimancy. Fate, you know, like everything happens for a reason kind of thing.”

Kirsten held Chip’s hands and smiled,

“Chip I want our son to be a member of the Orthodox Church. I think maybe we should follow that lead. It’s fate, Chip. This is the way it was supposed to be. The soccer team playing out there in the World Cup; the Babbage Orthodox Church giving us a personal letter; the baby being born during the Cup; Orthodox Easter coming up. It all makes sense Chip. I want to do it.”

She paused again, smiling, with tears of happiness coming from our eyes,

“The Dreamed Realm is letting Cassadagans in to play soccer. Maybe they will let it in a Cassadagan child to follow their faith and a couple of stock car drivers as well.”

Just then, with that decision made, the contractions picked up. "He's coming! He's coming!"

[Schiavonia]

"Carlos..."

"Yes."

"You know you said you didn't know where you'd left the RP machine?"

"Look, I was probably half asleep at the time, but..."

"There's a package for you."

"A what?"

"Well, more of a huge great big delivery. It's just outside the stadium. Go down and have a look."

"But... if it's outside the stadium, how am I going to get it inside? If it's that big?"

"You won't be able to."

"So what you're telling me is..."

"You sent the machine over to Krytenia by some sort of delivery service! And here it is!"

"And I can watch the match from outside the stadium on the machine!"

"Brilliant! Now, you go and get it ready."

"You know what this means as well, don't you?"

"What?"

"No more of Tony O'Henry's awful poetry!"

"I don't think we'll get away from it that easily..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Welcome to World Cup Football here on SIBN! I'm Al Smith..."

"Al, do we have to?"

"Do we have to what?"

"Do we have to do this commentary? All of Schiavonia are here in Krytenia for the World Cup."

"She's Laurie Jones. We're at the Harbour Stadium here in Stanton, Krytenia, where Schiavonia are lining up in anticipation of a good old thrashing from the Han Empire, or Daehanjeiguk as you might know them."

"As who might know them?"

"You know... people..."

What people! There are none listening to us!"

"Anyway, the possibility of Schiavonia coming away from this cup with anything other than three defeats on the bounce is absolutely crazy, right Laurie?"

"Not as crazy as you talking to yourself."

"Look, stop it! You know fine well that we have a listener?"

"Who? Considering Carlos Cueto has paid for the entire island to come over here."

"Carlos Cueto is listening to us."

"Why?"

"Because... Anyway, here come the teams."

"Could we not just phone him?"

"He's also paying us good money to do this."

"Al, we get taxed everything we earn."

"Well... anyway... let's stand for the anthems..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...and as the final whistle blows, can you believe what you have just seen, Laurie?

"Not at all. Probably one of the most bizarre goals of this World Cup. A freak gust of wind off the harbour blowing Kenny Sanderson's lofted free kick in a highly unconventional manner over Dong Sei-Yeong in the Han goal, the ball hit the bar and went in off Dong's head. And then the kids hung on for dear life. Absolutely phenomenal."

"Well, to be honest, that would have left most goalkeepers confused."

"Now... can we stop this?"

"But our listener?"

"Our one listener is on the pitch celebrating with the team. I don't think he really cares what we're saying after that result."

"Oh, well in that case..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

TONY O'HENRY'S POETRY CORNER

THE SHOCK RESULT

A tale of two nations
And an atmosphere electric
The fans' great expectations
Of a battle so hectic

The Han team were older
And were more highly skilled
Their attitudes were bolder
Their minds more strong-willed

Schiavonia youthful
A surprise at this cup
And if I am truthful
They looked bound to mess up

The Han looked on form
With complete domination
Schiavonia forlorn
And lacking creation

Then Hogan tripped up
A free kick awarded
Young Kenny stepped up
The Schiavones applauded

From the ball to the goal
Was some forty-five yards
Only a foolish soul
Saw a goal on the cards

But as Sanderson struck it
All chaos ensued
Some Han fans said... something
Their players were subdued

The ball caught the wind
Then struck Dong on the head
The Schiavones grinned
Their young kids were ahead

For a game that began
With them so optimistic
If you were a Han fan
You'd be going ballistic

But by the end, glory
There was let go a cheer
An unlikely victory
For Schiavonia

He doesn't get any better...

[Sarzonia]

Franz Braddock knew the question would come. He'd spent the past several minutes mentally preparing his answer for it.

No sooner did his name get announced than a rather pushy radio reporter popped the question.

"Coach, why did you take Lynch out of the match?"

"I wanted to bring in fresh legs," Braddock said. "And Lynch told [associate manager James Potherington] that his hamstring was feeling a little bit off just two minutes prior. I took him out because we need him the rest of the way.

"And now that that's out of the way, this was a very good result for us, even if the Cafundelenses say I'm a little too predictable," Braddock said. "The thing is, good football is always good football."

He knew the battle between Sarzonia and Cafundéu would be a close one. Both teams ran roughshod over their qualifying groups, with only Cafundéu losing a single qualifying match among the 40 combined qualifying battles. However, Sarzonia were playing with the motivation of a team determined to get back into the win column after what Krytenians would likely refer to as dying by the sword, losing to Dancougar in penalties in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy final.

The intensity of the match between Braddock and his former national team could best be indicated to the casual observer by the number of cautions Somewhereistonian referee Malek Ramanuch pulled out of his shirt pocket. A total of five yellow cards with three for Cafundéu served as notice for just how chippy things were between the two sides.

Clayton Bocanegro, starting for the first time since his sprained ankle, drew a 17th minute caution for an aggressive tackle on Werner, who vowed revenge on the Stars. Unfortunately for the Monopolists, he picked a horrible time to exact his revenge: His booking came in the 71st minute after a violent tackle on reserve forward Tim Lester. It was so violent, in fact, that acting captain Ben Davis got a 74th minute caution for dissent.

"I thought that was a professional foul and [Werner] should have been sent off," Davis said. Braddock agreed with his acting captain, but didn't agree with his "surprisingly immature decision" to jaw at the referee after he refused to discuss his reason for drawing yellow as opposed to sending Werner off.

"Regardless of what we feel about the referee, Ben has a responsibility to let things go and play his game," Braddock said. "I was late here because I was talking to him about that."

Sarzonia will face Toyur in their next match, and with Toyur and Bears Armed Mainland having played to a draw, can possibly all but book their ticket into the knockout rounds in spite of playing in what the Sarzonians would consider hostile territory in Krytenia. To wit: Only the 5,200 navy and silver-clad Sarzonia supporters were cheering for the Stars in this match. Besides the contingent of Cafundelense fans, everyone else in the stadium, most of whom were Krytenia supporters, was cheering for Cafundéu.

"We relish the possibility of playing up to seven away matches in the World Cup finals," Lynch said. "It would make winning the World Cup all the sweeter."

[Akbarabad]

Akbarabad kick of campaign with a disastrous draw with the Landau Institute.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): Akbarabad began their World Cup 50 campaign with a terrible result, a 2-2 draw to a team that they had beaten comfortably in qualifying. The result ended the team's fifteen match winning streak, carried over from qualifying although the unbeaten streak was extended to 23 competitive games (Last defeat was 2-1 to the Han Empire in World Cup 49). The Doctors twice came back from a goal down as the team once again demonstrated defensive frailties that had optimistically been thought conquered after two clean sheets in our last two qualifying games. A debatable offside decision cost us a goal but there is no point in complaining about things like that anymore and we have to accept that we simply played badly and dropped two crucial points. Qualification will now have to be done the hard way.

World no. 5 Dancougar is next up in what should be an explosive contest. We have plenty of history with them dating from our first qualifying attempt back in World Cup 44. Despite being ranked 120th at the time, we only came short against Kelssek on goal difference. Our matches against Dancougar themselves were not particularly memorable resulting in a 3-0 and 3-1 defeat. We would not meet again until the Kings' Cup Cup and Oxen Cup 12 before World Cup 48 where we lost 4-0 and 4-1 respectively. Those fixtures incidentally, are not classified as a competitive matches by the AFF as they only count World Cup, World Cup qualifying, Baptism of Fire or Cup of Harmony matches. We met again During World Cup 48 itself, where we again lost 3-1 but still qualified for the second round due to winning both of the other matches. The truth is that even discounting the non-competitive "friendly" results, we have still been heavily outclassed in all our previous matches against them. Of course the teams that played Dancougar in the past had a different mentality and were more easily overawed by top ten opposition. Our matches in the last cycle against Candelaria And Marquez and The Holy Empire (The two best teams now) has proved that we are no longer intimidated by top opposition. Even so, the team morale will be low after the spirit crushing draw against the Landau Institute and the Tiger Eaters may not be as up for it as they normally would.

A defeat would make qualification a far more hairier (if not outright impossible) prospect, especially given the fact that Ad'ihan managed to hold Dancougar in their fixture. There was pre cup tendency to largely dismiss Ad'ihan, mostly as a reaction to our strong qualifying campaign as compared to their underwhelming one, but we know that we can not take them lightly. Whatever happens against Dancougar, we will probably still have to beat Ad'ihan at the The Stadium of Fire to ensure qualification.

Landau Institute 2-2 Akbarabad
( Gadescu 39", Abrahim 78") ( Zahid Mohammed 20", Samin Akbar 51")

[The Babbage Islands]

Don't read too much into this one, my friends.

No doubt about it, our 3:2 win over Jeruselem is a great victory. Especially on this stage. But recall that they played nearly fifty minutes down one player, and that even at that disadvantage Solveig had to pull out a showstopper save for us to hang on. We are fortunate to be on three points now instead of one.

But we are nonetheless on three points and in sole possession of the group lead. (For what that's worth.) We're going into the Bostopia match under full sail. Another victory over a team we've not yet beaten will send us through to the knockout stage, and we get two chances to do that with Sorthern Northland on deck.

Congratulations to Patty Heatherly on her two-goal performance and a deserved WOTM honour. She's now within one goal of tying the late Magnus Svoboda as the leading all-time scorer for the Bumblebees. It would sure be nice to see her get it in the World Cup!

More congratulations to my former club Dover City who just sewed up their seventh Premier League title, and to giant-killers Belgium FC. First Belgium promoted to the Championship, our second division. Then they beat Bloomfield National to capture a second consecutive Islands Cup, and denied National what would have been a record fourth win. Chip Woods and Kirsten Hopkins are looking smarter every day, their investment at Belgium is going to pay big dividends.

Time to celebrate, for later today it's back to work. Watch out, world, here we come.

Smile!

[Landau Institute]

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Education
Foreign Culture Information Secretary

PUBLIC REPORT - ONLY TO INTERESTED PARTIES
STUDIES OF WC NATIONS' CULTURES - II

Initially, the plans of this Department of Education were to repeat the list about customs of the 32 nations participating in this World Cup, especially after hearing some good feedback about this. But after a meeting we have decided to not do that, as the entire concept of doing something like that was to make a Mammoth Compendium-style list which would be an unique report from our nation during the entire World Cup cycle. Repeating that would only take off the feeling that the list was a special one in the middle of the other reports. Everything explained now, we will talk about another thing related to countries' cultures, something strictly related to the Landau Institute National Team which is playing in the group stage. We watched the game against Akbarabad, a good one in which our doctors managed to play in a good level, and take some advantage of mistakes of the opponents. And our main midfielder, Doctor Alien, had a huge importance in the result, which gives us a point and keeps our hopes of getting to the Round of Sixteen. Proud of his ability, we made this homage to him, by studying about the reactions of people from other nations when looking at him. Due to his alien appearance and talents, we could discover things about how these citizens see and act in regards to creatures that may be from another world. For a start, there are two possibilities which divide into more two: the positive and the negative, being those due to knowledge or strangeness.

Most of the reaction are carried out through the area of strangeness. Few nations have contact with alien races, or even very mutated humans like the case of our great doctor. In their case, some are lead by mysticism, others by what they have seen in movies and others just by personal beliefs. There are some people who call the army, saying that they "have seen the emissary of an invader race, they wish to conquer our world!" Others cry when they see the doctor approaching them, shouting "oh no, they'll make experiences with me and I'll have nightmares with flashes of them!" These are the most common negative reactions triggered by the strangeness. But in some nations Doctor Alien is surprised by very happy welcome messages from the natives and parties, and is treated like a king. Some say: "Like the prophecy said, the weird people from the stars have come to lead us to heaven." Others, usually affected by some kind of drug, comment: "Look at him, man... hey, purple one, bring me with you, I want to know how it is out there... cool, man." Some even deny his alien nature as much as they can, commenting: "Bah, this is just a costume, no person can be purple" or "These powers he claims he has are just tricks, I could do them... but after some practice, of course." Once we heard someone making a really curious comment to Doctor Alien, by asking him: "Hey, would you like to phone home?"

Although extremely rare, there have been some cases in which the doctor meets people who know well about his nature, or have a constant contact with people from other worlds or just mutants... well, anything related to the member of our National Team. In these cases, there is hardly a recurrent theme, which leads to unique responses of people when meeting the doctor. Once, a strange being came close to Mr. Hill, the Doctor Alien, and told him: "I'd suggest you to not recommend an invasion to your superiors. We came first." Some are even diplomatic: "Oh, it's been a long time since I've last seen someone from your race. How is the King going? Oh, you are not from the planet Tydjtgopplleees? Sorry then for my mistake." Others, still under the belief that the doctor is some messenger from another planet, ask: "We could make a deal to exchange technology... we have a lot to offer... what about the electric shaving machine in exchange of the spaceship technology?" And there are occasions in which we don't even know what those people talk to the doctor, like: "Ydjghr! &@dh))9*?" We think that, if we could translate what they have said, we might have learnt more about the nature of the purple aliens that are on Estresse Intenso, the ones which affected the formerly known as Doctor Hill. This is interesting to check how different the nations are in space knowledge, and on their opinions about different people like our doctor.

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem Government News

Pups out of game against beer drinkers

Oksana "Pups" Ferris won't be playing against our critical group stage game against Southern Northland after having back issues after the loss against The Babbage Islands. She was felling a bit stiff and the day after, had trouble with a sore back. Ariddian Jen Darian will take over captaining duties but Jeruselem will be one defender down as well as losing a midfielder.

Young Princess Shay will be the deputy on the field after her debut against the "Queer" team. It's understood Pups has stressed an old farm injury which she experienced earlier in her life and it's come to haunt her when she's older now. She could play against Bostopia but back injuries are long term and not things which heal quickly, especially for older players. Pups is taking painkillers to numb the pain from the injury.

However the team aren't going make excuses, we can still field 11 players and still win games. If we lose to SN, we go home but a draw would bring hope and a win is optimal. We hope the Islanders can keep winning to reduce the points available to SN and Bostopia.

This might be Pups's last World Cup as a back problem often ends the hopes of older World Cup players forever. Being a farmer, it's worse as she can't work properly for a living. The farm environment is dangerous and often fatal. The good news is bunch of kids coming into the game, like Sister Kate who have been getting better and learning to be real football players. Can one of our young'uns prove the hero?

This game decides if we have hope or no hope for the 2nd round. It's a good thing our SN coached Jeru FC are looking good so far but we hope Qazox come along for the ride with Jeru FC into the 2nd round.

Jeruselem would not be drawn into a raging forum debate about sexual habits of the inhabitants of Bears Armed with Princess Marie making a statement
"I don't care what those bears in Bears Armed and their puppet states as sex lives. It's not our concern, as long as they have fun and do what they think is right ... it's fine by us. Baby bears are cute too. We aren't going to judge them bears about their sex lives, like people judge us Dallas girls. If there's a bear version of us, so be it."

[Dancougar]

Dancougar News!!
It's easier to get into your apartment when you don't leave your keys at work.

Lyle Dylandy's words could not have rung truer after matchday one. "Teams that have reached this point cannot be discounted," he told the media, expertly dodging the usual question of how well or poorly Dancougar will fare. We'll recap all the action and show you what we mean, but a high-level summary should be telling on its own. Of the sixteen matches, seven ended in draws and seven more were decided by a single goal. Both Group G matches ended 2-2 as Ad'ihan and Landau stuck it to the critics who'd already penciled them out of the tournament, so Dylandy's in an uncomfortable spot. Now, nothing in the group will be decided until the final day and a failure to take points from the next match could prove decisive. However, a victory over the Tiger Eaters would but Dancougar's destiny in its own hands, and Dylandy would rather be in that situation than any other.

The dropped points, though, are not the only thing that will hurt Dancougar's campaign. Fans settling into their seats and watching at home began the day in high spirits, and the team was also feeling good about its chances against Ad'ihan. Three minutes into the match, star striker and team captain Shannon Brookhouse appeared to set the tone with a blistering strike that forced a fingertip save over the bar. Anton Fedorek's ensuing corner was headed barely wide by Alexis Dellasanta. Ball movement looked good, pace looked good... Ad'ihan were already reeling and the Wings pushed their advantage to create another quality chance before the tenth minute. Brookhouse began a run through the middle of the field as she normally does, trying to find a soft spot in the defense and present one of her midfielders with a target. The ball came her way, so she controlled it and tried to twist away from defensive pressure all in one beat. It's a move we're used to seeing.

Rather than create the space to attack, though, Brookhouse collapsed in a heap. The crowd exhaled in disappointment, as she'd lost her footing. The ball rolled free and was cleared by the defense. Then, with eyes fixated on her, Brookhouse remained down behind the play and reached for her ankle. That simple motion was enough to elicit a sudden panic from both fans and the players. The positive energy surrounding the Dancougar team evaporated as they realized what had happened: Brookhouse was hurt. Hurt badly. She kept her composure as the trainers ran out on the field, but once she'd rolled onto her back, she immediately signaled for a substitution. After just ten minutes, Shannon Brookhouse's World Cup adventure was over. Kaito Watanabe would replace her, Fedorek would take the captain's armband, and the game resumed.

But the Wings looked disjointed and Ad'ihan used that to their advantage. This wouldn't be the first time Dancougar played without Brookhouse in the lineup. They'd done it several times during qualifiers and gotten results, and Watanabe was certainly a quality replacement. Morale took a hit, though, thanks in no small part to the unexpected and painful nature of the exit. Dancougar fell onto the defensive and surrendered the first goal of the match in the 26th minute. Shane Bologna drifted too far toward his near post to defend a low shot through the box which rolled behind him and across the line. Ten minutes later, Dancougar were 2-0 down when more lazy defending creating an opening for a header from eight yards away. Embarrassingly, it was Blake Devens -- so lauded for his ability to head the ball -- who was responsible for the lapse that created the chance. The Wings managed to pull together a promising push towards goal just before halftime, but Watanabe's effort sailed wide and the Wings had nothing to show for it heading into the locker room.

In the second half, Brookhouse reappeared on the bench on crutches. She had vanished into the locker room for treatment but came out to cheer on a potential comeback. Perhaps she'd had a hand in Dylandy's team talk or maybe her presence was enough, but suddenly it was apparent how important she was to the team. With Brookhouse on the bench, the Wings were playing more fluid football again and regaining their rhythm. Although they weren't nearly as dominant as they were in the first ten minutes, the Wings seized the momentum. Maria Klecha nearly connected with Watanabe for a cross-and-header in the 49th minute that got the Dancougar crowd chanting again, and moments later, the heretofore anonymous Ken Antonovich ripped a shot that forced the Ad'ihan 'keeper to dive across his goal to preserve the shutout. A goal was coming, it was just a matter of when.

That question was answered in the 63rd minute when Dellasanta won a free kick near the right sideline about thirty yards from goal. Fedorek sized it up and picked out Stefan Meineke inside the box, who met the ball squarely with his forehead and drove it into the net to make it 2-1. Rather than celebrate, he grabbed the ball and ran it back to the center circle. There were still nearly thirty minutes to play, but he wanted to establish the right attitude for the Wings. You could see Dylandy smiling from a mile away after that one, and in the 70th minute, the sustained pressure resulted in the equalizer. The 'keeper punched an outswinging cross out of the box but it landed at the feet of Devens, who sought to atone for his earlier mistake by whipping a volley straight back. It pinballed off a defender and landed in front of Watanabe for a tap-in goal. Ad'ihan protested vigorously for offside, and while replays showed they might have had a case, the goal stood and it was 2-2.

Dancougar looked poised for a third goal, but Ad'ihan responded to the challenge with a few chances of their own. Both teams attacked throughout the final twenty minutes to ensure a thrilling conclusion, but there were no goals to be had. The Black Wing defense clamped down and Erick Helmstad proved his worth by clearing two corner kicks in the final ten minutes. Watanabe, meanwhile, barely missed out on a second goal when he fired a point-blank header right into the chest of the 'keeper, who was rushing out to try and meet the play and found himself in a lucky position to make the save. The game ended with Dancougar regaining some of the poise it had when the day started, but as the team returned to the tunnel with a hobbling Brookhouse in tow, they faced the grim realization that it's an uphill climb from here.

In the other Group G match, Landau came up with two equalizers en route to a 2-2 draw with Akbarabad, who remain unbeaten in 23 straight matches. Although the defense might have given the Wings some pointers, the team's pair of foreign-based strikers, Samin Akbar and Zahid Mohammed, continued their rampage through world football by each finding the back of the net. They will present a difficult challenge for the Dancougar defense as the Wings hope to maintain their perfect mark against the Tiger Eaters. Dancougar is 5-0-0 all-time while outscoring Akbarabad 17-3, but only one of those matches was played in the World Cup itself, so this Akbarabad team will be far better than any of the previous opponents. Naturally, though, we hope the result is the same. A victory will go a long way in helping Dancougar escape the group stage, although they can make due with any result provided they get a little help afterward. Here's a look at what else happened on matchday one.

GROUP A: What did Dylandy tell you about not discounting teams in the field? We didn't get the message when we predicted Schiavonia would get hammered; all they did was upset former finalists Daehanjeiguk 1-0 to take command of Group A. Are Schiavonia in a position, now, to join Starblaydia and Sarzonia as fellow S-nations who quickly returned to the top of the world rankings following a long absence from international competition? We would go ahead and say more about Secristan's 2-2 draw with Krytenia, but we fear being sued by the SDOS if we tell their people what happened when they're supposed to buy the highlight packages.

GROUP B: Toyur and Bears Armed might have been involved in in the highest-scoring match of the day, a 3-3 draw, but the real meat of the schedule was Sarzonia and Cafundeu's tilt, a matchup of two top-ten teams. No one will doubt that Franz Braddock is a master after his team turned in a 2-1 victory, the winning goal coming from midfielder George Morrison in the 71st minute. The midfield was the decisive factor in this one, and if you don't believe us, believe the post-game commentary by former Dancougar international Jon Schiermeier, who was working the analyst's desk alongside the legendary Breno Gavião.

GROUP C: Jeru FC got past Peisandros, while Qazox comfortably defeated Septentrionia. Their 3-0 scoreline was second only to the elves for margin of victory and they did it despite playing against an apparently invisible team. Qazox's infrared goggles helped this problem somewhat, but once zey did nussink in the second half, the team was able to just sit back and defense the lead with eleven behind the ball. Invisible or not, I suppose Frenchies will still be Frenchies.

GROUP D: Fireworks are always expected when Bostopia and Sorthern Northland take the pitch, and when we say that, we mean literal fireworks. When we we say fireworks, we actually mean tank shells. They had to settle for a 2-2 draw in their match, while The Babbage Islands shook off our predictions of imminent failure -- noticing a pattern yet? -- by defeating Jerusalem 3-2 after Tegan Nash converted a late penalty kick and goalkeeper Solveig Þorsteinsdóttir one-upped her frontline teammate by saving one to preserve the points.

GROUP E: Valanora came up with the most comfortable result of the day, a 4-0 stomping of Yafor 2 that puts them in control of Group E and confirms that they, at least, much be able to make good on being named favorites in their group. Less is certain about the other pair as Newmanistan and The Weegies played to a 2-2 draw in the Stadium of Fire. Perhaps the Rockets should have asked the organizers to raise the temperature of said fire to produce a soft blue flame, which would have certainly produced a more favorable environment.

GROUP F: There was only one group without a draw on matchday one, and it was this one. Cassadaigua got past Arroza 2-1, and the narrowness of the result might suggest that Arroza are going to prove a tougher nut to crack than we thought. It was still a good undercard for the heavyweight bout between Candelaria and Marquez and Starblaydia, and the Big Blues took a massive step toward advancement with a minimal 1-0 win.

GROUP H: Kelssek and Aguazul played quietly to a 1-1 draw as far more attention was on the matchup between The Holy Empire and The Archregimancy. It was a matchup of monks and apostles as the Empire made good on its promise to take of form of their opponent's greatest dream. It seemed to work in The Archregimancy's favor when Judas Iscariot managed to score a purposeful own-goal and get sent off in the same instant, a sequence of events that made it 1-1 and left the Empire at ten men. But the thing about dreams is that as long as you believe, they remain a force to be reckoned with. St. Jude's winner made it 2-1 and puts the Empire in control of the group.

[Sorthern Northland]

Kevin Rogers: “... and so without further ado, we go live to our commentary team of Kyle Young and first of all, Breandán Ó Cuill.”

Breandán Ó Cuill: “Thank you Kevin, and welcome here to Bromham for Sorthern Northland's opening World Cup 50 match. Sorthern Northland versus Bostopia, it can't get much bigger than this can it, Kyle?”

Kyle Young: “Well, if it was the final group stage game with a place in the knock-outs at stake, or indeed a knock-out round match as should have happened at the last World Cup, then arguably it'd be bigger.”

BÓC: “Yes, well let us not be accused of hyping it up too much, eh? Alas we have no more time for hype here, and with kick-off mere moments away it's time for what is sure to be two rousing renditions of the national anthems.”

----------------------

BÓC: “Both the Song for the Bostopian Patriot and An tIdirnaisiúnta shown a great deal of respect there despite the rivalry between the two nations. It's always good to see that happen.”

KY: “To be fair the only reason I didn't boo their anthem was because you jammed a microphone down my throat.”

BÓC: “Just protecting you from Emperor Boston blowing up your house with his tank.”

KY: “Oh, I see. Ta then.”

BÓC: “Not a problem, and now finally the pre-match formalities have been dealt with and Bostopia get this match underway, Dean Maguire plays the ball back to Neil Saunders, oh and Will Hooper's come in an intercepted the pass!”

KY: “A very sloppy start from the Bostopians there and Sorthern Northland look to attack on the break now with Hooper playing the ball through to Siobhan Ní hÓgáin on the right-wing.”

BÓC: “A delightful ball it is as well, Ní hÓgáin dinks the ball over the Bostopian defence looking to put Francisco Manuel Sánchez Garciá through and goal. The Bostopian keeper David Brightwell's come out for it, he's not going to get there though! Sánchez Garciá with his first touch lobs the ball over the stranded Brightwell and IT'S IN!!! Incredible start here! Less than a minute gone and Sorthern Northland are one-nil up! Kyle...”

KY: “Amazing start indeed! A perfect start even! If Bostopia carry on like this, we could well be on for a magical day in Sorthern footballing history. Sorthern Northland one, Bostopia nil, less than a minute gone. Incredible!”

----------------------

BÓC: “Danny Thomas' foray up the right-flank ended there in crunching fashion Timm Holtz.”

KY: “Certainly no quarter being asked of given here today, that's for sure. Still early on the game though, and both teams will need to exercise some caution.”

BÓC: “Indeed, has Timm Holtz has just found out, being shown a yellow card by our Cafundelense referee, something which I'm sure Kyle disagrees with, I'm sure.”

KY: “I wouldn't have awarded the card, but to be fair Breandán I can see why it's been given, Holtz though will be walking on a tightrope for the rest of the match now.”

BÓC: “Sorthern Northland with a free-kick within shooting range to defend now then, Dan Gray runs up, he strikes it.... and well, the ironic cheers from the Sorthern fans tell you all you need to know.”

KY: “That was bloody awful. Wouldn't surprise me if it came down with snow on it.”

----

BÓC: “Just moments remaining here in the first-half, Sorthern Northland with the one goal lead, both teams have had chances though, and Danny Thomas is looking to create another for Bostopia here with another run down the right.”

KY: “He's going to have to get past Timm Holtz first though, and those two have been having a right old battle on that side of the pitch.”

BÓC: “They have indeed, and at times it's gotten a bit physical to say the least. They really are making themselves aware of each other's presence. Oh, and Thomas goes down in a heap! His shirt tugged back by Holtz the think, and Holtz is really testing his luck here.”

KY: “I think his luck's out Breandán, the ref's reaching for a card.”

BÓC: “Two cards in fact, the first a second yellow, and that of course followed by an obligatory red. Will Bostopia have time to take advantage of the free-kick though before the half-time whistle.”

KY: “They're certainly in a hurry to take it.”

BÓC: “Thomas having got to his feet whips the ball into the box, Proctor with the header, and I think it's past Piran Hean, it is! And there goes the half-time whistle just as the ball hits the back of the net. Sorthern Northland reduced to ten men on the stroke of half-time, and in a further blow they've conceded a goal from the resulting set-piece. Sorthern Northland one, Bostopia one at half-time.”

KY: “Arsecakes.”

----

BÓC: “Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa then kicking off the second-half, the ball played out to the right-wing to Ní hÓgáin but she's stopped from going anywhere by a vicious tackle from Adam England.”

KY: “He's got to go surely!”

BÓC: “Martijn Barentstochter of Bergkamp of Drotske of Groethuysen of Hackenbroch of Struycken has squared up to England though and it's all getting ugly as players from both sides join in the mêlée, plenty of pushing and shoving going on.”

KY: “It's all handbags really though, init?”

BÓC: “Probably is, players being dragged apart now by the referee and his assistants, the referee calls England over and no surprise as he's shown a red card, both teams now down to ten men.”

KY: “I think we can all agree that that was the right decision.”

BÓC: “Martijn as well being called over by the referee and he's shown a yellow card. The right decision?”

KY: “If standing up for a team-mate is a bookable offence, yes.”


BÓC: “Tackles still flying in all over the place as Hooper skips past the tackle of Neil Saunders, Hooper with the through ball to Arrigorriagakoa, he's one on one with the keeper, two-one surely?”

KY: “And it's is! Superb coolness under pressure from Iñaki there, an excellent finish and a goal that will delight the tens of thousands of Sortherners in the stadium.”

BÓC: “Sorthern Northland now winning two-one then, with around twenty minutes remaining.”

–---

BÓC: “Somehow only two minutes of stoppage time shown by the fourth official, with the injury to Ní hÓgáin earlier and the altercation that followed you'd have thought there would be more than that. Bostopia though press forward, looking to make the most of those two added minutes, Davies with the ball through to Garfoot in the box, Fishsnapperbottom goes to tackle and wins the ball, Garfoot goes to ground though..”

KY: “And the ref has blown his whistle and pointed to the spot!”

BÓC: “He has! Drama here in the opening Group D match of World Cup 50, both teams already down to ten men, and surely if the referee considers that a foul he has to send Fishsnapperbottom off.”

KY: “Aye, and he's doing exactly that, looking at the replay though, there's clearly a case to make that Garfoot took a bit of a dive.”

BÓC: “Indeed, there is contact, between the players, minimal though, I'd say Fishsnapperbottom's won the ball fairly there.”

KY: “Garfoot was undoubtedly looking to win the penalty there, he couldn't wait to fall to the ground!”

BÓC: “And Garfoot, who it has to be said having got to his feet has a rather smug grin on his face, is going to take the penalty. Short run up, puts it to Hean's left, Hean dives to his right. Sorthern Northland two, Bostopia two. Absolute joy for the Bostopians, despair for the Sortherners.”

----

BÓC: “And there goes the final whistle, final result Sorthern Northland two, Bostopia two. A point gained or two dropped, Kyle?”

KY: “Points dropped I'd say, drawing in the circumstances to rivals like the Bostopians is a big knock and the pressure will be on to get six points from the next two games now. It's a tough group, and whilst any points are welcome, you want to get as many as you can early on.”

BÓC: “A tempestuous match at times as well, that will have taken it's toll won't it?”

KY: “Yeah, I think there'll be a few players waking up with bruises in the morning, certainly whether Ní hÓgáin will be fit for the game against Jeruselem looks questionable. Fishsnapperbottom and Holtz being missing through suspension also won't help at all.”

BÓC: “And even now after the final whistle it remains tempestuous, the two captains Hean and Garfoot appear to have got into some sort of confrontation in the tunnel.”

KY: “Ooo, what a good left hook that was.”

[Toyur]

Toyurska Sportnyhet

MASCOT DISMISSED, POINTS SHARED
Timmy leaves with countrymen, now wanted in Toyur
by Anders Alfven

SIMPSON, KRYTENIA (TP) - A highly entertaining affair both on and off the pitch saw Toyur pick up their first point in World Cup history, as well as create a new public enemy back home in Toyur in Jharrge o Barrwoo, otherwise known as 'Timmy', originally of Bears Armed (the mainland version), who is wanted on charges of oathbreaking and wanton release of state secrets.

To begin with, the excitement in the air amongst the 8,000 or so group of Toyur fans who made the trip to Krytenia was palpable. The Toyuri have claimed the hotel bar where they are staying as sort of a supporters headquarters, which has been filled to capacity for most of the five days that Toyur have been in Krytenia. Many have become involved in trying to take in as much of the Krytenia culture as they can, with bright orange, dragon-printed shirts becoming common amongst the visiting Bears supporters, which unfortunately clash heavily with their largely pale complexion and predominantely blond hair. Still, their exuberance can't be criticised, as a strong qualification campaign has slightly raised hopes for Toyur, despite being in a group with two of the world's top ten teams.

Fortunately for the Bears, they got to begin against Bears Armed (Mainland), a strong side who defeated Toyur in a friendly before qualification began. The lovely Walton Gardens was the venue, which saw an exciting opening contest in Group B between these sides. Not as glamourous as the Cafundeu-Sarzonia match going on in Osteria, but what this match lacked in intrigue, it made up for in excitement.

The real Bears opened the goal scoring, with Marrana-Harrla Lightning easily finishing off a flawless string of passes through an outclassed Toyur defence. Anders Eriksson was left with a face full of perfectly cut grass as the ball passed his outstretched fingers into the goal. Viktor Eklund scored Toyur's first ever World Cup goal in the 29th minute, latching onto a Mats Thorsson pass, taking a brief touch, and then shooting a bullet past Bella DeBruin in the Bears Armed goal. The sides ended the first half 1-1.

At halftime, Barrwoo was performing his usual tasks with the Toyur fans, but it was evident to all in attendance that he desperately wanted to be with his compatriots instead of the green and black clad nordics. He snuck away early from his usual duties, not largely noticed due to the Toyur fans leaving their seats to take in the surroundings. Still, one could tell that Mr Barrwoo was none too pleased that his country had not been able to keep the lead in the first half.

The second half opened much the same as the first, with Bears Armed controlling the majority of the play and being rewarded with a goal. Erra RiverFarer finished off a period of 10 minutes of sustained pressure in the Toyur goal with a shot past Eriksson after Gustav Johansson's clearance only went to the top of the box. Justin Tillström managed to level the affair again against the run of play, after he intercepted a pass near the centre circle. He rushed upfield with Eklund and took the return pass from him wonderfully, placing the ball neatly into the bottom corner.

The drama began in the 80th minute. The Bears (not the real ones), sprung loose from yet another interception in yet another pass about in their own half by the real bears, with Eklund finishing off a play with Kristofer Svensson by powering his shot past DeBruin and giving Toyur a late 3-2 lead. 'Timmy' was obviously nervous. He was contractually forbidden from actively cheering against his home country, yet was dangerously close to breaking his contractual obligation not to cheer AGAINST his employers. Thus, when Karrtla Redwood drew Bears Armed level in injury time with a header at the far post, he was easy to spot out in the crowd as he was the only one cheering in the Toyur end of the grounds. The fans hostility could have quickly escalated to violence were it not for the quick thinking Krytenia grounds security, but the mascot has not been seen since and is now considered wanted in Toyur for oathbreaking. He is also blamed for the recent discovery by the Landau Institute of the use of exotic animals in domestic ice cream brands, which co-incided with the release of many new 'tropical' flavours from Iskallt Ice Cream, Toyur's leading brand of the delicious desert.

Toyur now take on Sarzonia in matchday 2, who will no doubt be gunning for all three points after defeating Cafundeu 2-1 in Group B's other opening match. The Stars can effectively clinch a spot in the next round with a win over Toyur, but the Bears will be hoping that Sarzonia lack the desperation that Toyur will no doubt have on Matchday 2. That match can be seen on TSTV1, and if Timmy is spotted anywhere in Toyur, please inform the local authorities.

[Candelaria And Marquez]

c&m win!

candarians all Glory!!!!!!!

[Candelaria And Marquez]

ahem


The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>WC50
candarians all Glory!!!!!!!
By Morgan Fattori

Baby face don’t grow so fast. Make a special wish that will always last. Rub this magic lantern. He will make all your dreams come true.

Dear Jesse.

Perhaps this is not the day for bastardising obscure 80s singles. Perhaps it is. I cannot say for certain. The gentle reader will forgive this old sportswriter’s addled state, I think, having spent the best part of a day with only a stiff staff, an incontinent pack pony and a bi-curious sherpa for company as I wound my way to the Meteora; the ancient ground – or, more accurately, sky – where the Big Blues would play an almost classic World Cup fixture against the game’s greatest proponents. As the only accredited Candelariasian journalist in the stadium – go me!, by the way – there was much work to be done, and much vertigo to be overcome. And an eighty-seventh minute winner. The merry-go-round of highs and lows – though particularly the highs – were at times almost too much to bear.

There were no pink elephants or lemonade, nor roses raining on the love parade, and a distinct deficiency of leprechauns floating by, and there’s certainly not a golden gate where the fairies all wait, perish the thought. The oddities of a historic World Cup opening ceremony punctuated by a nature documentary, hardcore pornography and snatches of TV4’s interpretive dance season – TV1 station controller Duben Blázen having wisely offered his resignation for the latter broadcasting slip-up, one that saw most Candelariasian viewers sadly unable to appreciate the full glory of a memorable ceremony – were put to bed, and the millions watching back home could instead enjoy a match devoid of unintended surrealism and instead offering an exceptional display of intelligent, meticulously considered and far from unsightly football.

Without wishing to blow any trumpets, this was the match that the world was watching. More than ‘first’ against ‘tenth’, more than the Purple Old Lady against the Blue Pretenders (these are by no means official nicknames, of course, but I had to do something whilst making the long trek upwards… so much upwards…), more than teacher versus pupil… this was a battle royal between a team that has long since transcended football, and a team that never will.

For C&M will never have Starblaydi arrogance, or passion. We will never epitomise the World Cup in the same way as yesterday’s opponents. But for all that, and in so many ways, the Candelariasian success story has been derived from that of Starblaydia. Following in their Atlantian Oceanian educators’ deep footsteps, so the Big Blues have come to place teamwork and tactics alongside technique; forgoing the kamikaze attack once so beloved of the game’s elite in favour of the measured, balanced – but nothing less than easy on the eye – outlook of Kuu and his predecessors.

In some ways, the encounter showed just how far C&M still have to go. The likes of Danny Adams, Jameson Aldren and Jhanna Young could not come close to echoing the sublime touches of Valrauncion or Ázëwyn Fëanáro when they came, and in truth the Big Blues may never be able to replicate the individual talents that have always made the difference between Starblaydi competitiveness and Starblaydi dominance. Perhaps more importantly, some might argue, the reigning champions appeared like petulant children at times, compared to their elders, continuing a developing and unpleasant habit of the Panadero era by routinely crowding Aibreán Amadán, the Sorthern Northlandish referee, and demanding set pieces and opposition cards.

Some of their disputes had a grounding in truth – Fëanáro in particular should have received at least a yellow card for a horribly miss-timed tackle on Aldren early into the second period, from which the hugely experienced Telcontarë star escaped without censure and Aldren fortunate to escape with all bones intact – but there was an element of desperation in some of the derisory late claims for action from the officials as Starblaydia began to once again gain the upper hand. What was more; Jaime Kuu’s side might well have earned a penalty kick themselves on sixty minutes when Jono Plunkett – Krytenian-based Jono Plunkett, just to put it out there, not insinuating anything – bundled over Julius Starblayde just inside the C&M box. Amadán waved away all Starblaydi protestations – if there had been any to wave away, at any rate – indicating a simple meeting of shoulders, but in another match Plunkett might well have been off and the Candelariasians one-nil down.

They wouldn’t have deserved it, mind you. For whatever C&M still have to learn from Starblaydia, yesterday they bested them – just – in almost every department that mattered, save sportsmanship. From the kick-off, the Big Blues kept the ball moving snappily around the park – losing it at times, inevitably, through the high (so high, so very very high) winds and their opponents’ midfield interceptions, but leaving the elderly Starblaydis all too often chasing shadows. While a computer error can probably be blamed for the stated average age of 2,338 for Kuu’s starting XI, this was evidently a Starblaydi side coming to the natural end of its powers. When they were allowed to dictate the play, Jordan Hawker and Toirdhealbharch O’Airmeadhaigh – a wise pick ahead of Adam Kouakou Kouamé – largely shut down the Starblaydi midfield and the C&M defence, led as always by the tireless Jacob Davies, remained strong. At the same time, and even in the absence of Koviljko Randjelovic, C&M could rely on quick counters down the flanks to worry the robust but painfully slow Durin Golhirrim and Onome Agu, likewise players on the wrong side of thirty.

That is not to say that Kuu’s side did not have their fair share of openings, for any team featuring a strike partnership of Valrauncion and Nicole Maitland-Banks are clearly going to test the opposition ‘keeper, but Davies and Plunkett are now an extremely experienced duo themselves and largely limited the Starblaydi attack to half-chances smothered by Christian Fernández Montes. C&M’s own opportunities were better, with Aldren’s pace and Young’s trickery twice offering Adams chances that he might, in his younger days, have put away. Agu and El din Marbles veteran George Rosenthal are a no less accomplished pairing however, and few strikers globally would have been able to even find the positions that the goalless Adams managed throughout the game.

As the match trickled towards a nil-all close, we – by which I mean, I, on account of being on my own up there – had cause to wonder whether Carlos Panadero had truly outthought Jaime Kuu that evening, even as Starblaydia began to dominate the late proceedings as the hard-working, injury depleted Candelariasians began to tire. In masterminding victory, he might well be handed a premature genius tag in some quarters but, in truth, his greatest decision of the night was one that we all might have made – the last throw of the dice, with not six minutes remaining, to throw on a player without anything close to a full ninety under his belt since returning from a long injury lay-off.

At twenty-eight years of age, he still barely looks old enough to shave. But in his boots – black ones, so we know he must be special – he embodies everything that shows that We’ve Made It. Teamwork, tactics and technical ability are all well and good – but Albrecht FC’s star midfielder is a true world-class player, possessed of gifts surely never seen before in a Candelariasian footballer. In his six minutes plus stoppage time Jesse Nakatsuru showed why any nation in world football would want him, that he is truly in his prime and ready to take a further step on the road to joining the pantheon of the greats. The Big Blues, perhaps alone among the global footballing elite, cannot rely on players like that – but my God, we’ve got one.

Three touches, three bursts of speed, three defenders beaten, and Nakatsuru had won the game to leave C&M on an almighty high (and it really was awfully high, I must say) and ready to take on all comers

Baby face don’t grow so fast. Make a special wish that will always last. Rub this magic lantern. He will make all your dreams come true.

Dear, dear Jesse.


(Can I come down now? Please?)

World Cup 50 – Group F, Matchday One
@ The Meteora, St. Mary’s City

Candelaria And Marquez 1
Nakatsuru 87
Fernández 7, Archer 8, Davies 9, Plunkett 7 (Vaughan 90+1min), Wilkinson 7, Aldren 8 (McKenzie 77min), Young 8, Hawker 8, O’Airmeadhaigh 8 (Nakatsuru 84min), Collins 7, Adams 7

Starblaydia 0
Taniquentar 7, Golhirrim 6, Agu 8, Rosenthal 8, Avathar 7, Starblayde 8, Kaukonen 7, Fëanáro 8, Harvey 6 (Narquelie 70min, 7), Valrauncion 8, Maitland-Banks 7 (Fortran 89min)

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

IT'S....

THE WORLD CUP SHOW

With Basil and Theo!

"...exciting victory for the Holy Empire, Basil."

"Though a controversial one, what with Judas Iscariot proving his perfidy."

"But perhaps there's little need to comment further given the comprehensive report from Monastic Television. So let's instead look at what happened in the other groups here in the Holy Empire. First of all, there's Group G. Basil?"

"Well, the Vala..., I mean, Vanorians..."

"Oh yes, better get that one right, Basil - don't want an official Elven complaint"

"Anyway, the Vanorians are in total control of this group following the 4-0 thumping of the Golden Wolves up in the Chaco. Given their defensive style and their -4 goal difference, you'd have to say the Yaforites are already in trouble, but the result at the Stadium of Fire - a 2-2 draw between the Weegies and Newmanistan means that no one's out of it yet. And incidentally, TURNIPS!"

"Everyone's favourite root vegetable, no doubt. Turning our attention to Group F..."

"Well, Theo, we had that thrilling 1-0 victory for the Candelaraisianianiansianian and Marquezizizizians against the purple ones at the Meteora..."

"A magnificent victory that inspired some typically effusive and lengthy reaction from the winning nation's media."

"Absolutely, Theo, I doubt I've ever read such a lengthy and detailed match report! Quite extraordinary! And of course the girls from Cassadaigua have given themselves a real fighting chance of going through with a crucial 2-1 victory over Arroza. They have two difficult matches coming up, but this was one they had to win. HADDOCK!"

"A fine fish. And over in Group G, Basil?"

"Everything to play for, with - unlikely as it may seem - both matches ending in 2-2 draws. This promises to be a fascinating group. BEEF TEA!"

"Which many football fans enjoy drinking. And finally, there's our group - Group H..."

"We're in the driving seat, Judas or no Judas - but the monks won't be too disappointed given the 1-1 draw at the Stadium of Earth between Kelssek and Aguazul. That leaves the monks with a real chance if they can just get a couple of results... BOLLARDS! MIGHTY GREAT BIG BOLLARDS OF STEEL!!!"

"As insightful as ever, Basil - and as logical, I see. No doubt you can explain your fascination with large metal traffic blockers later."

[Bears Armed]

Most of the Bear-Belles are sitting around chatting and having a drink or two, now that they have just finished the last session of practice that Marra SunDaughter had scheduled for the period between their matches against Toyur and against Cafundeu.


"Anybody seen a recent issue of 'The Bear Necessities' around here?" Harraya WesterBear casually enquired of her colleagues, receiving a chorus of 'No's in response...

"I heard from one of the fans who've just arrived here that it just hasn't managed to print any more issues since the rather incomplete one from last month that got here just after us," added Jerrannya OldWood. "Apparently they still haven't managed to get their paws on another set of presses since that fire destroyed their old ones..."

"Urrgah! That's a real shame" Harraya commented. "I wanted to see what they'd have to say about our game against Toyur's 'Bears' and the 'Timmy' situation.
"Talking of which, what is happening about him, anyhow?"

"I think that that's where Marra and the 'Storm Sisters' and 'The Wise Grorrfinn are, escorting him to find sanctuary amongst our 'travelling' supporters now that the ships carrying most of those have finally found their way here through the Spring storms.." said Urra ‘Honey’ SunBlesséd. "Have any of you read what the Toyuran press had to say about him, I picked up a copy of what I was told is one of their main newspapers and its account of the situation doesn't really match his at all: They accuse him of 'oath-breaking' for giving way to his excitement and cheering when Karrtla scored, although their team requiring him even to be present at that match was an implicit breach of contract -- if not actually an 'explicit' one -- in itself, and then they go on to accuse him of 'leaking' information about some factory in an area that he says he never even visited!"

"I was there when he explained all about that to Marra," Bella Debruin remarked. "Apparently they were threatening him with all sorts of punishments for accidentally hitting somebody when he turned around quickly to retort to their coach's anti-religious jibes, and used that pressure to make him go along with the story until he could reach us and be safe again. Hr'rmm, I wonder which of their own people that was to cover-up for, and why? Somebody really important to them, perhaps?"

"Ah well, anyway, he should be safe now," concluded Urra. "I doubt me that they'd be able to get him out from amidst 'Arri's Furry Army' without a LOT more trouble than I'd expect them to be willing to risk in a foreign land.."

"And all of those fans being here should be good for us, too," Harraya suggested. "The stadium seemed FAR too quiet when we only had the few eightSquareds who'd flown in when we did there to cheer us, and to drum in our support: Maybe if these extra shiploads had made it early enough that might have given us the extra push that we needed to beat Toyur, ehrr? I mean, they were a good team but we should have been better..."

"Maybeso," commented Urrsa SunBlesséd, their captain, as she walked into the room, "and I expect that their presence will help us when we play against Cafundeu tomorrow, but you've rested for long enough: You got theSoccer moves that Marra wanted you to practice worked out hokay, I think, but now let's all go and do some more rehearsal for the 'harrdiharr' too!
And then we can have a few proper drinks, as long as everybody leaves long enough to sleep them off before tomorrow's game: The ships bringing these fans brought the 'Grinness' as well..."

The other players, some of them grumbling slightly and wordlessly under their breath at the thought of yet more exercise that afternoon (even with that promise of a drinking session afterwards), rose to their feet and followed Urrsa back out onto the practice field. As she opened the door they could all hear, not far away from them, several groups of those newly-arrived fans who were singing various [traditional or new] songs _


“We’re on the march with Arri’s Army,
Going to distant Kryten-nee;
And we’ll really shake them up,
When we win that big World Cup,
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the greatest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!”

* * * * * * *

“Over there! Over there!
Every bird, spread the word, over there:
That the Bears are coming,
The Bears are coming,
We’re drum, drum, drumming everywhere!”
(BOOM! BOOM!
Rat-a-Tat-a-Tat-a-Tat-a-Tat!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
“So beware, say a prayer,
If you get in our way over there!
Over, we’ll push you over,
And we aren’t just _
‘Humans, with a lot of hair’!”
(BOOM! BOOM!
Boom-badda-badda-badda!
BOOM!, BOOM!! BOOM!!!)

* * * * * * *

“Full threee-eights of PolarBears,
Came down from the North Cape;
And when the Ball was over,
They had to be fixed with tape!

Singing," (OOC: and perhaps it would be best if, as on previous occasions with different verses, we left that song there… )

* * * * * * *

“A wonderful Beast is the Tiger,
The Tiger’s a wonderful Beast;
He’s always full of vigour,
He doesn’t fear owt in the least;
The Belles will all strike like Tigers,
And on their foes' renown shall feast!

Yes, a wonderful Beast is the Tiger,
Tiger, Tigerr, Tigerrr, Tigerrrr _
The Tiger’s a wonderful Beast!”

* * * * * * *

“Mush-a-room, sausages, herbal cha,
Toast for my supper, oh;
Toast for my supper, oh,
There’s Honey in the jar.”

* * * * * * *


“We’re on the march with Arri’s Army,
Going to distant Kryten-ee;
And we’ll really shake them up,
When we win that big World Cup,
For Bears Armed are the furriest Soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the greatest Soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the furriest Soccer team!”

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

RP CUT-OFF FOR THE KRYTENIA GROUPS

Just a quick reminder of the schedule over the next couple of days...

Due to unavoidable RL factors for both of us (which in my case revolve around Easter), I scorinate tonight (UK time), Kry scorinates the Holy Empire groups tomorrow (noonish UK time), and then MD3 finds both of us working back together on Sunday evening.


Scores? I don't think my co-host is going to like me very much....


Please remember that I am now unlikely to be on-line - or at least not on NS - from now until Sunday (the Orthodox thing isn't just for comedy value, you know). If any pressing issues need to be dealt with before Sunday morning UK time, please inform my co-host.