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Experts blast Tyrrhenian tyranny for not being tyrannical
A sign alerting travelers of oppression ahead of them. Such a sign definitely does not exist for entering Bulgislavia.
PROVISIONAL ASSEMBLY, Revolutionary Revolution of the Revolutionary Proletariat's Glorious Worker's Republic of the People's Revolution of Bulgislavia — A Communist revolution spurred the political landscape in Levantian hellhole Bulgislavia recently, as the glorious people's proletarian revolutionary republic began to eradicate the evils of capitalism from its lands in favor of the all-glorious ideology of Communism.
However, following a statement from the Bulgislavian government that it was a democracy, the country took fire from political experts for its lack of tyranny.
Pundit Ron O'Donnel called it "wannabe oppression" in his statement.
"It's clear that Bulgislavia needs to up the ante when it comes to the systematic destruction of all previous order and common sense, and the implementation of a faceless, anti-individual, counter-productive Society like true Communists," he told The Garlic. "Elections are vehicles of the capitalists that violate the ideals of a true revolutionary revolution of the worker's proletariat. The Provisional Assembly and Workers International are spineless organizations hellbent on preventing tyranny from entering the country."
The statements came when the Provisional Assembly, the organization currently in control of the country and soon-to-be Stalinist rulers, announced the country was a "Revolutionary People's Democracy".
Bulgislavian businessmen: "Nigga we ain't scurd"
According to a report by the Bulgislavian People's Propaganda Network, many wealthy businessmen fled the country before facing the destruction of their companies in order to go to countries that support free enterprise. However, the report made clear that many businessmen stayed in the country.
One businessman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told The Garlic: "Why should I be worried? They are just going to come in and eradicate everything I've tirelessly worked my ass off to put together. I'm excited!" The businessman was never seen again after a group of men in trench coats and peaked caps dragged him away.
Yet another said: "Nigga we ain't scurd."
Additionally, a travel advisory was issued for the Revolutionary Revolution of the Revolutionary Proletariat's Glorious Worker's Republic of the People's Revolution of Bulgislavia.
This article was written by a The Garlic contributor. As the world's premier news reporting agency, The Garlic ensures that all content is 100% accurate. Please do not contact the UP staff regarding informational accuracy in this article; doing so may result in severe fees.
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