Fist of The Kolob Star
ENDORSED BY AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF THE AARONIC PRIESTHOOD OF THE LATTER DAY SAINTS CHURCH!
ENDORSED BY AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF THE AARONIC PRIESTHOOD OF THE LATTER DAY SAINTS CHURCH!
Mormons. If you are American, and especially if you live in Utah or near it, you probably have meet or known one of them. And most likely, they were missionaries: quirky persons dressed in smart clothes, carrying a backpack and trying to hand over copies of the Book of Mormon to you.
Maybe you were lucky and encountered polite ones, who quickly left and never returned when you announced that you were a firm Pastafarian. Maybe you were unlucky, and had to deal with particularly stubborn ones who wanted to convert you, your family and your little dog, even if you were Jewish (dog included).
But these seemingly mild mannered people hide a great secret, which is also the greatest weapon in the Latter Day Saints Church's hands: The Fist of Mormon. A deadly, divine martial art taught only to the members of the Church, which renders them capable of superhuman feats, complex fighting techniques, and good proselytizing, at the cost of having to constantly wear the famous temple garments.
This is the story of a group of Mormon missionaries, endowed with these powers by their faith (and underwear). Their mission: evangelize the SoCal town named "Kickinass", a den of evil and crime, and gain a place in the Celestial Kingdom.
But first, some history.
A Short History of Mormonism
It all started when the well-known celebrity and supernatural being "Jesus Christ", who had spent most of his godly life influencing human accounts of is life and imprinting messages of love, peace and understanding in them, realized that his fans, the so-called "Christians", were apparently terminally incapable of following his teachings.
After centuries of holy wars, theocratic dictatorships and civil rights abuse, Christ decided to take a drastic turn in his policies, and to inspire a completely different message in all the following books that he would have inspired or written. The year was 1823.
Enlisting the help of the angel Moroni (who everyone in Heaven picked on due to his embarassing name), Jesus arranged for a young American fellow to receive a special set of golden plates, for him to translate: this man was named Joseph Smith.
Depicted: Joseph Smith, portrayed in one of the few moments where he wasn't converting unbelievers through sheer ass-kicking. The artist later got his ass handed for failing to accurately depict Smith's six pack abs.
Moroni appeared in front of Smith while he was praying in a lonely night, announcing that he was Moroni, servant and messenger of God. After Smith had finished laughing at the angel's name, an irritated Moroni gifted him the golden plates, which would have drastically changed the course of Christianity and history itself.
Smith was shocked to discover that the book that he had just translated, The Book of Mormon, was less a religious scripture and more of a detailed manual regarding a secret divine martial art, The Fist of The Kolob Star, alternatively known as the Fist of Mormon. After accidentally destroying his farm with a flying kick, Smith decided to set out on a quest to found a church entirely based on the principles of the Book of Mormon.
The result was the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (which Smith actually wanted to name Latter Day Spartans, before being advised against doing so by his associates). His followers, the Mormons, were initially treated by non-Mormons as silly polygamists with silly underwear, up until the Fist of Mormon was put into use by the LDS to stop persecution.
This scared the shit out of everyone, and forced the Mormons to gradually move westwards and settle in Kirtland, then Nauvoo, and then Utah, after Smith disappeared in the aftermath of an incident called "The Carthage Flying Kick Massacre", in which a mob of 125 men was beaten the shit out of by Smith himself.
After Smith's disappearance, the office of President of the LDS Church was taken by Brigham Young, after he had succesfully beat the shit out of every other claimant to the position. Young, famous for his discrete number of wives (55), kickass beard and uncomfortable opinions regarding black people lead the Mormons into some sandy Mexican backwater called Utah.
Depicted: Brigham "I got 55 wives, founded a state and have an university named after me, motherfucker!" Young
Initially, the Federal Government didn't give much fucks to Young and permitted him to have Utah be an US territory for shit and giggles. Their position suddenly changed when the Mormons began to settle a fuckton of territory under the Mexicans' nose (further proof that siestas can be dangerous.).
The Mormons were all like "We'll found a fuckhuge state in this territory called Deseret!" and the US Government was like "Stop, you fucktards!" and Young was like "Come at me bro!". Brigham proceeded to kick the shit out of all the US Army regiment the government sent after him, up until the President ragequitted and permitted them to retain Deseret's territory.
And then the Mormons appointed for statehood.
Depicted: Deseret, The Coffee-Less State.
Then, other not as noteworthy things happened. Polygamy was abolished by the LDS in 1890, and apparently they recognized black people as humans by 1978. Also, some gay people-hating Mormon wrote some books about kids fighting giant insects, while some Mormon gal wrote a book about wimpy vampires. That's it. Uh, and the Osmonds formed in 1958.
Today, Mormonism is widespread in Deseret, and present in some way in almost every country of the world.
Except for Sealand.
Scriptures, Organization and Doctrine
Scriptures
The main scriptures of the LDS Church are the Bible, the Book of Mormon, Doctrines & Covenants and The Pearl of Great Ass-Kicking .
The Bible is some account about some angry guy called God killing people. Or atleast one half of it. The other one is about another guy called Jesus Christ who is God but actually isn't God but his spirit son...okay, it's complex. Anyways, this Jesus guy goes around Palestine being a Hippie Socialist Secularist, up until some guys in silly costumes kill him.
The Book of Mormon is basically the Bible's spin-off. It tells the story of Lehi and his family who, after kicking the collective asses of the Babylonians who had tried to kill them, leap to the Americas by executing flying kicks. There, they split into the Nephites and Lamanites, which really hate each other's guts. Basically, the book is about these two factions kicking the shit out of each other with martial arts. Soon, some other guys called Jaredites jump into the the fray, amping up the violence. Then Jesus finally comes and bitchslaps everyone to kingdom come.
Doctrines and Covenant is a boring book regarding Church doctrine, except for the chapter where it explains the basis of the Fist of the Kolob Star. Then it resumes being boring.
The Pearl of Great Ass-Kicking is a selection of Joseph Smith's favourite fighting techniques, some of which are extremely deadly or dirty, and are even outlawed in some jurisdictions. Easily the best read amongst the scriptures.
Depicted: The Book of Mormon. There is even a musical based on it!
Organization
*To Be Written*
Doctrines
Mormons have a wealthy heritage of complex and intricate doctrines, which grew in the course of decades and were influenced by several re-interpretations of Smith's original writings.
Which is why I'll only list the most quirky things:
*Temple Garments. Otherwise known as Mormon underwear, this set of undergarments is to be worn by Mormons day and night, if they want to be good Mormons. Some fanatical ones also wear them while showering, swimming or...consumming temple marriage.
*Mormons can't drink tea, alcohol or coffee, or smoke tobacco. Coke is fine, though.
*Every good Mormon will marry a good Mormon boy/girl, seal him/her and have an eternal Celestial Marriage with him/her. Mormon divorces tend to be quite messy.
*Mormons are chaste. Christian level chaste. Pre-matrimonial sex and masturbation are seen as the worst thing since burned bread. Of course, some of the more lax Mormons simply don't give a fuck...or actually, they do, but in the literal sense.
*Mormon Missionaries are supposed to be the Very Model of a Modern Saint-arian. We'll see if this will actually be fulfilled, in this RP.
The Fist of Mormon
The First of Mormon was created by Jesus Christ with additional advice from fellow spiritual entity Buddha and the entirety of the Hindu and Japanese pantheons. It is an highly complex and versatile martial arts style, which takes cues from Karate, Kung Fu, Judo, Krav Maga, Capoieira, MMA and even Pro Wrestling. Detractors usually accuse its techniques to have been made up on the spot, only to be promptly hospitalized minutes after having made these statements.
Another interesting part of the First of Mormon is the so-called "Spirit Energy". Generated by every faithful Mormon through their temple garments, Spirit Energy permits Mormons to launch devastating spiritual attacks, which usually take the form of beams, rays, projectile attacks, energy constructs and the likes of it.
It is theorized that, if a Mormon accumulated enough spiritual energy and faithfulness, he would be capable of temporarily morphing to a powerful spiritual form, denoted by energetic discharges, tattered clothing (except for the garments) and spiky hair.
Every member of the Church knows the Fist of Mormon to a degree, but its undiscussed masters are the Mormon missionaries, who practice it day and night to aid themselves in their proselytizing.
LDS Missionaries
The Missionaries are maybe the most renowned aspect of the LDS Church: Young men and women trained since childhood to become the best of the best, knowledgeable in the scriptures, charismatic and polite when talking and capable of breaking the back of everyone they encounter on their evangelic path.
Depicted: Proud LDS
If you are a Mormon Missionary, most likely you have passed through boot camp at the Missionary Training Center in Provo or in any other part of the world. You are determined, faithful and deadly. You also dress like some cubicle zombie, but that's a detail. You are part of Deseret's finest, and you really want to keep up the reputation of the missionaries.
Male Missionaries are called Elders, while female ones are named Sisters. They usually travel in same gender groups of two or three Mormons, and are supposed to pretty much keep themselves isolated from the other groups and rely only on themselves and their companions.
We'll see what will happen.
The Town of Kickinass
An apparently harmless SoCal small town, placed right next to Deseret's border, Kickinass is easily the most corrupted, deviant, downright evil and rotten place in all of human history. And that's speaking of it kindly. Its citizens are all kinds of crazy, and crime, terrorism and littering pollute its accursed streets.
After the mysterious disappearance of a whole Mormon Mission in Kickinass' area, the leaders of the LDS Church have decided to sent another team of elite Missionaries in the town, to continue proselytizing and discover what happened to the precedent Mission.
Apparently, Jehovah's Witnesses activity has been recently detected in the zone, along with a series of other strange and gruesome happenings. Whatever the Mormons will find in Kickinass, it will require an healthy dose of asskicking to be put down.
Application Form
- Code: Select all
Character App
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Orientation:
Nationality:
Appearance(Picture encouraged. Anime picture even more encouraged)
Born Mormon or Converted into LDS?
If Converted, from which Religion?
Special Techniques: (Deadly attacks that your Mormon has mastered. When describing them, also give them flowery names.)
Spirit Powers (Superpowers, basically.)
Weapons:
Personality:
Bio (Mandatory):
RP Sample:
