World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

[Beaverriver]

Official Statement by the Beaverriver National Team Coach, Zach Heckinson
"There was a incident between two of our players the day before the match against Worszary. You may have notice that at the match, neither Gabrial Novez or Ralph Cuemuch was on the bench. The incident happen when Ralph asked Gabrial on how he's feeling. Gabrial didn't want to share his feelings but Ralph kept on asking more questions. The situation escalated quickly and Gabrial threw a punch right at the nose. The immediate results end up with the arrest of Gabrial and Ralph being out for the game with an injured nose. As of right now Gabrial Novez is no longer eligible for selection of the national team and we have word from his football club, that he has been released from the club. He is currently being checked by mental health professionals at the Beaverriver National Hospital in Corvan. Ralph has just recovered from injury and resumes training tomorrow.

In the light of this incident we are going to call up four players up to the national team. The first player will be the centerback from Baeten SC, Andy Schleter. The second is Vialy Goranssion, the Defenseive midfielder from Lots o' Love. The third player is the golden boot winner last season in the BRPL, Jeremy Pons of Eviliton EFC. The final player plays for Nice VC, Mary Grosjean. She is a very versatile midfielder that can fill in pretty much anywhere. They have already started training for the national Team at the Stadium of Roses."

[New Montreal States]

"...Doc Lagacé, out on the front lines of journalism in Lymantatia. Doc, what struck you about the Paladins' win tonight?"

"They did a good job coming back from an early deficit after Jacques Bressler took an early lead."

"John Randle-Cunningham scored a brace to equalize, including a dramatic game-winner in injury time. That makes five on the tournament so far. Is this sustainable?"

"Five goals in three games certainly isn't, but the power and accuracy he showed here on the gamewinner are for real."
"Who's to blame for Bressler's goal?"

"That was all Bressler, finding just enough space to shoot despite excellent coverage from Henri-Réné Lavaillère."

"Did the Paladins miss injured defensive midfielder Seraphin Boucher?"

"Yes, but not as much as a lot of us thought they might."

"So Antoine Boyer is working out fine, then?"

"Boyer turned in a solid 90 minutes of work, but the word in the locker room is that André Vaillancourt-Bosquet is considering bringing Boyer forward as a third center midfielder."

"That's his natural position, right?"

"Yep."

"And what's going to happen to the defense?"

"Matt, you know as well as I do

"Here, in Lymantatia, brevity is the soul of wit."

"Isn't that true everywhere?"

"Yes, but here they practice what they preach."

"Mmm-hmm."

"I met an elderly Lymnatatian sage just outside the press box, who told me that the post-game report that could be seen was not the true post-game report."

"That's pretty deep."

"The real post-game report is within the souls of the players, and the managers, and everyone who attended or watched the match."

"And for everyone else?"

"They only get you and me, Matt."

"Doc Lagacé, everyone. Up next, basket-"

*click*

[Polar Islandstates]

Prologue

The Concrete Museum

**
From the case notes of Wolfgang Lillehammer, PI
It was a reasonably sunny Friday evening when there was a rustle at my door. The beams of light from the sun were doing their best to penetrate the grubby window panes and make their way past my blinds and across the room, throwing great parallel slits of shadow across my carpet as they did so. The standard lamp stood in the corner, unused, and the filing cabinet to the left of my desk slumped on its dodgy leg and hid the battered leather chair that I kept in case of guests. On my desk, a small carriage clock awarded to me by the city after helping with the case of the Wightling corpses ticked merrily away. It was the only sound in the room, until the rustle of brown paper at the door.

Normally I don't look up in situations like that - people that wish to remain anonymous are always sliding vital bits of evidence under my door, and through time and experience in the game I've found that often it's actually advantageous not to know who it was. This time however, the kids across the canal have taken to grabbing seal shit in a bag and setting it alight outside my door. Grabbing my stapler with the greatest range and attack capability I jumped up as soon as I heard the rustling, only to see the grubby envelope slide under the door with about as much style and panache as a grounded walrus. I picked it up and examined the contents.

The first, a plush invitation to a fancy looking event for later that very evening...

Professor Troels Aalesund and Mr Artur Poplaberg cordially invite you to
THE GRAND RE-OPENING
of Jens Christiansen's masterpiece
THE HOVE MUSEUM OF ARCHITECTURE
Black tie, drinks, refreshments, entertainment

The second, and this explained why the first was in my possession despite me definitely not being invited, or caring, was a scrap of paper with a hastily scrawled note...

Wolfgang,
Overheard two crones on the docks talking about the job they're doing here tonight.
Thought you might want to check it out.
A Friend.

I recognised the spidery handwriting, and opened the front door of my office. I strode across the short landing in two strides, taking care to avoid the loose plank that would ditch me in the water if I wasn't careful, and knocked on the door. A stocky man that hadn't shaved for at least a week opened the door in his vest and boxer shorts.

"Yeah?" he said, looking at me as if he'd never seen me before.

"Boris," I said, unimpressed and holding up the pieces of paper at him, "what is this?"

"Dunno mate," he shrugged, "never seen them before in me life."

"Boris, it's your handwriting."

"How do you know me name?" he said, with a sock of hollow shock and a squint of his tiny little eyes. If they got much narrower I'd not be able to see them at all.

"Oh for the love of Thor... Boris we've worked together on cases for the last three years, haven't we? Drop the act. It's boring." I pressed on with my questioning, "Now, what's this?"

"Alright, alright," he said, looking around furtively, "we'll talk in your office, come on."

Pushing me back into the office, he continued to look around suspiciously with his balding head like the moon waxing and waning before my very eyes, before closing the door behind him secretively.

"Care the explain the whole cloak and dagger thing?" I asked, still unimpressed.

"Well I've got my status to think of, haven't I? he answered.

"What statu-... I mean, what do you mean?"

"You know, my status as a part in the criminal underworld of Bjarnarey!"

"Boris, you live next door to a PI; I think if anyone's not worked out by now that you might not be the most reliable secret-keeper in the world then we probably don't have to worry about them anymore. Now, for the hopefully last time, what is the meaning of these bits of paper?"

"Oh, well," he said, suddenly relaxed with the air of a man who didn't quite understand all the words in what was said previously but also realised he didn't care, "I heard some of the guys on the docks talking about the job they've got to do at this party tonight. Couldn't see who it was, but I doubt it's above board."

"And who is this Aalesund guy?" I pressed.

"Dunno mate, you're the PI. Some professor of something. That building's down near the rest of the college buildings in Hove, I know that much."

"Right, so, you're suggesting I go and find out what's going on?"

"Just a thought, aye. You might not want to, but I just thought you should know." he said happily, a dumb smile on his face.

"And who did you steal this invite from?"

"Some old dude walking through the docks." he answered with a shrug.

"I see, well, thank you Boris. You can go now." I said, waving my hands at him to leave. His smile froze slightly on his thick dumb cheeks.

"But, Wolfgang, my tip?" he said, offering his hands out for a bit of money, the usual fee for his information.

"But, Boris!" I said loudly with mock sincerity, waving him out and opening the door for him, "How can I possibly pass on any money for this information when I have no idea who gave it to me?"

Closing the door behind him with a shove, I locked it, and then flicked on the answering machine. I had a tuxedo to look out from my wardrobe.

**

Two hours later, I turned up to the Museum of Architecture in Hove wearing a suit that I was sure had been at least two sizes bigger the last time I wore it. The building had been a lot easier to find than the suit had been.

It was indeed in the Hove area like Boris had suggested, and now the sun had set it was lit up like a Christmas tree against the backdrop of the dark Bjarnarey shale on Langoya island, which itself looked even darker than the night sky. With two sodium searchlights panning over the sky, it looked as though the Bjarnese elite had come out to play that night.

I immediately recognised the building as one of Jens Christiansen's. With his much criticised concrete style, Christiansen had worked his way up and down the nation, creating works for councils and states that bafflingly kept asking for his services. Now dead, he had nonetheless left behind a legacy of terrible concrete piles that featured disastrous design features, stairs that went nowhere, unheatable concert halls and kitchens that worked better as greenhouses, access hatches below the waterline in his Bjarnese works, external surfaces that allowed thieves easy access... I could go on. Now, it seemed like someone had actually gone out of their way to renovate one of his old decrepit buildings and invite people back into it. The whole idea was akin to psychological torture if you ask me, but I don't suppose anybody ever will.

Walking up to the front entrance, I saw two police officers on duty. I knew one of them.

"Klimpt!" I said, holding out a hand to my old friend.

"Wolfgang!" he exclaimed back, taking my hand and shaking it enthusiastically, "Say, I haven't seen you since we took care of that gold business, how've you been?"

"Oh can't complain, can't complain," I responded, even though my ill-fitting suit seemed to contradict me, "how about you? I thought you'd been promoted? What are you doing on door duty?"

"Oh I was!" he answered, "This is a bigger job than you'd think. Some real bigwigs here. Didn't have you down as an architecture fan, though."

"I'm not," I responded flatly, "just got a tip off that needs investigating."

"I see, well, if you do come up with anything illegal make you to tell my colleague over there, we'll be inside soon."

I looked over at his partner on the door, a lanky blonde haired female officer offered her hand in response.

"Officer Kolberg," she said officiously.

"Ah, Wolfgang Lillehammer," I said, shaking her hand and unable to tear my hands away from her striking grey eyes, "a pleasure."

"You do have an invite though, right?" asked Klimpt.

"Of course," I said, handing it over and walking past the pair.

"Good, good, because our host is very insistent that it should be people with invitations only. He's been curiously strict about it, in fact."

"He is?" I asked, curious.

"Oh yeah," said Kolberg, "we had to turn away the Mayor earlier, in fact, said he'd had his invite stolen in the docks earlier but we had to tell him our hands were tied."

"Oh, ahem, is that so?" I said, trying to hide my flushing face.

"It is, and, hey, Aalesund's about to give his speech, you don't want to miss it," said Klimpt, ushering me inside, "go on!"

I stepped inside and was immediately hit with a sense of inadequacy, and not aimed at the building. The waves of tuxedo clad men and gown clad women were all clearly either highly intelligent or highly rich, and I was certainly neither of those things in a way that might raise my social status. They were also all incredibly warm, as the cooling systems appeared to have broken down. Either this was ironic for the grand re-opening of a Christiansen building or it was what the architect had intended all along. Neither would have surprised me. Weird concrete 'jutty-out-bits' littered the room, apparently at random, thought I was the only person banging my shins off them if you purely used 'amount of expletives' as your way of judging that.

I appeared to have already missed the entertainment that the invitation had promised, but I helped myself to a handful of posh looking vol-au-vent and a hefty glass of champagne by way of making it up to myself. I briefly attempted to mingle with the crowds, but soon decided that casually overhearing and listening in on their conversations would be the best plan of action.

It wasn't that productive however, and as I stalked my way around the crowded hall space pretending to look at and enjoy the architectural exhibits on display between the bizarre pillars and unnecessary beams I managed to overhear nothing but dreary details of what was going on in these academics' lives. It was tedious to the extreme, and even walking up the funny looking stairs onto the vertigo-inducing concrete balcony didn't liven things up any for me. I briefly considered going home and giving Boris a clip round the ear, but as I looked down the space past the bobbing heads of the crowd and past the bizarrely placed concrete columns I realised the door was a long way away, and shut, with Klimpt and Kolberg now presumably on other details.

I looked down, and realised I was just in time to catch a good view of the address by what was presumably our host. He walked onto a small stage that I'd been unable to spot from ground level, picked up a microphone, and began to speak. He was an oddly dressed man, and as well as the mandatory tuxedo, he had opted for the classic 'horn-rimmed spectacles and sandals' collection of academic dress.

"Erm, hello? Hello?" he started nervously, tapping the microphone head as the room fell to a hush and turned to look at him, "Hello? Ah, yes, hello! L-ladies and gentlemen, m-my name is Troels Aalesund, and I am the professor of the school of architecture here at Bjarnarey Maritime College. As a result, I have been asked to give a little speech here tonight, and so it g-gives me enormous pleasure to welcome you to this; the grand re-opening of the Museum of Architecture, designed by none other t-than Jens Christiansen!"

There was a brief round of applause.

"Love him or hate him," continued the slightly sinister professor, "there is no denying that Christiansen was a tremendously important architect in the history of Polarian design, and so it has been a labour of love and a b-badge of honour for us here at the department to restore this former classic, the m-m-magnificent b-building, right here on our doorstep, to its former glory. The building will serve now not only as a museum of architecture for the people of the Federation, but also as a tremendous l-learning resource for the students here at the d-d-department."

There was another brief smattering of applause.

"Of course," he went on, "these things cost m-money, and so I have to publicly thank our generous b-benefactor Mr Artur Poplaberg; a Christiansen enthusiast, a Bjarnese local, and heir to the P-Poplaberg fortune."

The professor waved his hands up at the balcony, and a room full of heads turned to face the rotund man stood next to me. He grinned an awkward smile and gave a quick wave, before wiping his copiously sweating brow and turning his tiny black eyes back towards the stage as the crowd applauded.

"Few people are aware that Christiansen was actually b-born in Bjarnarey," continued the professor once the applause had died down, "and we are lucky enough to have several of his b-b-buildings here. Without Mr Poplaberg's kind and continuing donations and his allowing of our research on the Christiansen buildings he owns we would never have able to m-make the breakthroughs that we have in investigating just what made this most complex of architects tick. In fact, I am even more p-proud to announce that only last week we were able to make a b-breakthrough in our understanding of the hollow concrete Christiansen used in his Bjarnese designs when we uncovered a chest of original Christiansen drawings in a safe in Mr Poplaberg's latest Christiansen p-purchase up in Little Wight - a small former customs house that was at one point used as an office by the architect himself when the officials declined the opportunity to move in. It is hoped that with this knowledge we can perhaps b-begin to start working on reusing this lost knowledge once again."

The crowd clapped enthusiastically at this. Odd bunch, clearly.

"But n-now," said the professor, pushing his glasses back up his nose even more sinisterly, "I've kept you for l-long enough. Enjoy the rest of your evening!"

The crowd applauded once more, and the dull, tinny music in the background started up again.

"Say, don't I know you?" asked a voice beside me, accompanied by a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, it was Artur Poplaberg.

"Er, no, no," I said quickly, looking down again and trying not to make eye-contact, not least it gave me the best chance of avoding his toxic breath.

"Sure, I do." he pressed, his massive hand on my shoulder squeezing just a little to tightly to be comfortable, "you're that guy that sunk the old Mayoral Building by The Barge."

Uh-oh.

"Well, I, er, a lot of that had to do with the gold that had been piled up in the basement." I said quickly, "All I did was have the misfortune to be attempting to apprehend the man behind that decision."

"Well I certainly hope you're not going to sink my new Christiansen here!" joked Poplaberg with a rather loud and forced burst of laughter at the end.

"Ha, er, no, no, of course not." I said, humouring him and getting his hand off me as I attempted to extract myself from the situation. "Please, excuse me."

The man collected Christiansen buildings like artworks, he was clearly a nutter. Diving out onto what was apparently a balcony that looked directly onto nothing but the shale of the island behind us, I found Officer Kolberg enjoying a cigarette. An albatross landed without any grace whatsoever with a thump on the roof of the building, startling us both. It picked itself up and looked down at us from under its hooded eyes. I shivered despite being well used to the cold - the last time I'd seen an albatross on a building in Bjarnarey, someone had died. I looked down over the side of the balcony. Somehow, despite only climbing one storey inside, I appeared to be two storeys up outside. The balcony didn't even look straight. Christiansen. Perfectly judging the disdain and confusion on my face, Kolberg chuckled quietly at me.

"Off duty?" I asked, watching as my breath caused as much disturbance in the cold crisp air as her cigarette smoke.

"For now," she said, taking another drag and gesturing towards the roof as the albatross flapped lazily at the air. "Impressive bird."

"Albatrosses give me the creeps." I said quickly and rather more snappily than the social situation demanded, before offering as apologetic small-talk, "Bizarre place for a balcony."

"Indeed," she agreed, "if it was on the other side of the building we'd be able to see the entire city stretching out before us, its light bobbing up and down and twinkling at us. Instead, we get seagull shit, shale, and blank nothing. A quadrilateral of concrete crap."

"I think it's a pentagon actually," I said, pointing at a corner that had been cut by a matter of millimetres for apparently no reason.

"Well, whatever," she dismissed, clearly not bothered by the difference, "say, did your lead turn out to be anything?"

"Oh, no. Nothing important." I said, rattling off the standard response to any questioning like this before realising that it was in fact true on this occasion. "So, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll be off to smash my source with a rolled up newspaper."

"Of course," she chuckled, "be my guest."

And then, just as I was about to step off the balcony, a quirk of Christiansen's architectural acoustics meant we both overheard a conversation happening at least two storeys below us, practically on the waterline, as a man apparently talked into a walkie-talkie with a husky tone.

"Nah mate, nah, it's been postponed... Yeah, something's happened in the capital, mean's there'll be a much bigger thing at The Barge in a couple of days... More impact, yeah... Big news, apparently... I dunno, just what the boss said... Anyway, turns out the Mayor didn't even bother turning up... Aye, yeah, get your lot to stand down and we'll meet the boss at the hangout later... Over and out."

"Did you hear that?" I said, paused in mid-stride and looking sideways at Kolberg.

"Sure did," she said worriedly, taking a last rushed drag on her cigarette and throwing it over the side.

"What's happened in the capital?" I asked.

"No idea."

"Then, what's happening at The Barge in a couple of days?"

"Only a charity football match. Bjarnarey versus Hove in some cheap pre-season thing. Nothing huge. Some player that played for both is retiring or something like that. Can't imagine the Mayor would have even intended to go it, mind."

"Well, you best go tell Klimpt, then. Looks like I'm sticking around for a while, after all." I said, going back and leaning on the balcony rail.

"Indeed," she agreed, "right, see you later."

"Later."

And with that, she disappeared back into the scrum of academics inside.

I strained my neck trying to look over the side of the balcony and into some of the windows down on the waterline, but had no luck in seeing anybody at all, let alone who that might have been on the walkie-talkie. I turned my attention back to the albatross on the roof. The poor thing looked old. It looked down at me with fierce hooded eyes, and yet I saw no sparkle or glint of light in them. It stood up and held its head high, before flapping its giant wingspan a couple of times. With two steps, the wings flapped, and the great bird took off. Circling once, it seemed to look out and leave its eyes lingering on the city one last time, before turning and flying over me. I watched as it silently glided on the air, before flapping twice more, rounding the crest of the mound of shale behind me, and flying out to sea. I never saw it again.

And then, Morten Yarbin died...

The story will continue in Accidents Will Happen

[Aels]

THE BLITZ — The Report's smaller sibling
Huw Price in Drayfill

Thomas: There's really no need to get ahead of ourselves

Aels 0
The Pazhujeb Islands 0

BRYN Thomas knows more than anyone else what it feels like to be the forgotten man. Ten years ago he was the next big thing in Aels, but after a move away to Farrenton Athletic in Eura he was all but forgotten by the Aelsh footballing community, despite having scored nearly 100 goals for Farrenton.

So it's easy to believe the man when he says the team haven't got their arses up their backsides despite an impressive start to the World Cup qualifying campaign, with four points after three games. After all, this is someone who could've done that with his league performances, except that no one would have noticed anyway. On this big stage, everyone's watching.

"We can't get carried away. It's a good start and we know it but in reality it's been one massive thumping on neutral ground, a defeat which hurts as all losses do, and a goalless draw at home in which maybe we could and should have done better."

But the ethos of this team is to focus on what's coming up and not what has happened. So even last night's 0–0 result against The Pazhujeb Islands in front of a roaring 37,000 capacity home crowd at the New Free Stone Stadium has been put behind them, notes vice-captain Rhodri Evans.

"The coaching staff obviously do go through the tape and analyse our strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures but for us on the pitch, we have a good mindset and regardless of the result, we leave it all on the night. Tomorrow morning we're back into training and working for the next match rather than in response to last night."

Good thing too, as there wasn't much to watch—a bore draw that reflected the fact that both sides were about par with each other.

[Gaveo]

The Gaveoan Times

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: Our Qualification Journey So Far

Santiago Rojas scoring a goal against Metropolis Mania.

By: Beni Cortez

In our first match in the 65th World Cup Qualifiers Gaveo loss in at home 3-5. Gaveo played very well in the first half with a two goals from Sebastian Cadiz. Gaveo had the lead 2-0 at the half but Beaverriver came back and took the lead by scoring 5 goals. Gaveo scored one more but that wasn't enough to win, Gaveo lost their first match by 2 goals, 3-5. The next game we had was a series of friendlies but that too was somewhat disappointing as Gaveo only won against Sangti, 2-0. While losses against Sovan Empire and Slembana, and a tie against Boring Paradise.

But things improved for the Gaveoans as we won against Metropolis Mania with a goal from Santiago Rojas in the 78th minute. The game was a dramatic improvement for Gaveo as they improved their play. The next match was another 1-0 win against Telnaior at Gaveo. This time Joshua Hood scored and Gaveo continued it's dominant play. We now face Querria next, will we win? We will find out soon, good luck and go Gaveo!

OOC: Sorry for the bad IC, I am focusing on Felix as I wind down using Gaveo...

[Saugeais]

Matchday 4 cutoff! Brought to you by Soundwave Electronics. If you can't hear it, you can't use it!

Scores

[Saintland]

Royal Square Garden, St. Petrus, Saintland

Prince Ioannes walked out onto the stage. The giant captain of the Saintland National Basketball Team was much bigger than everybody else on the stage.

Prince Ioannes - When my younger brother Andreas first approached me about the Saint, I was skeptical. I admit, I wasn't sure about getting involved in this project. I had my doubts as to whether he could create an pocket-sized interactive entertainment machine more powerful than any computer in the Kingdom, but I took a chance and, with the help of RepublicSoft, he has accomplished everything he set out to do. But, that isn't why I am out here to speak to you today. I'm here to talk to you about the Real Basketball Simulator. This thing is as real as it gets. It has every detail you could possibly want in a basketball simulator, including those classless fans from Cassadaigua that toss apples at opposing players. Rather than tell you, I'm going to show you.

Prince Ioannes picked up the Saint and selected the Real Basketball Simulator. He touched the screen at the title screen to load the menu screen and chose the "Exhibition" option. He selected Saintland and Cassadaigua. On the stadium select screen, he selected the Island Convention Center in Tapia Reis, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. That was the very location where Cassadaigua had eliminated the Sanctii from the International Basketball Championship.

Prince Ioannes - In the Real Basketball Simulator, the programmers at RepublicSoft have included every league and every national team that they are aware of, with the exception of a few leagues in the Free Republics that were not properly licensed. Every team has been programmed to play according to their actual style of play and every basketball player's abilities have been carefully rated. Out of the box, only the national teams and the teams from the Saintland league will be playable without an Internet connection with the Saintland regional version, but all other teams can be downloaded and the user will be able to save up to 15 leagues for use whenever their Saint is not connected to the Internet. Rosters are always being updated and will be available to download.

When the game started, it looked just like a Royal One broadcast, complete with the Royal One basketball announcers. Prince Ioannes would win the opening tipoff against Kiersten Clarke and the Sanctii would get the ball first. Prince Ioannes quickly passed the ball down the court to Alessandro Delluius. Delluius went for an open 3 and made it to put the Sanctii up by 3. The Sanctii in the crowd watching the presentation applauded. Several simulated Dagan fans started to throw apples onto the court. They weren't happy that their nation was behind early.

Prince Ioannes - I told you that the Real Basketball Simulator is as real as it gets.

Cassadaigua moved the ball to the other end of the court and Brittany Baynes set up a shot by Ashley Stokes. Stokes was fouled by Paulus Delluius. As she went to the free throw line, a bunch of Dagan men in attendance began to chant "no means no" at their nation's shooting guard.

Prince Ioannes - It looks like the Real Basketball Simulator even knows that Ashley Stokes was involved in "raping" a man when she was in college. I don't know how she could do that, but as they say, if there's smoke, there's fire.

Most of the crowd, even most of the foreign journalists, laughed. Stokes made the first free throw and missed the second. Prince Ioannes rebounded and passed ahead to Lucas Cornificius. The Sanctii made their way to the other end of the court and Petrus Sacerdus passed to Prince Ioannes in the paint. Prince Ioannes leaped and dunked the ball into the basket. The Sanctii were up 5 to 1.

Prince Ioannes - That's how you dunk a basketball.

Prince Ioannes continued playing the Real Basketball Simulator. The Sanctii continued their run, jumping out to an 11 to 3 lead early on. However, Cassadaigua came back and the score was tied at 19 at the end of the first quarter. Brittany Baynes had tied it with a 3-point buzzer beater as time expired.

Prince Ioannes - This will conclude our demonstration of the Real Basketball Simulator. That is, of course, not the only mode in the Real Basketball Simulator. The Real Basketball Simulator will also include a 1-on-1 mode, a 3-on-3 "street" basketball mode, a 3-point contest mode, a Skills Challenge mode and a slam dunk contest option. With all of the modes included, the Real Basketball Simulator will keep the serious basketball fan busy for a very long time. All of these modes will also work online. This means that you can play simulated basketball over the Internet against your friends and even against total strangers.

Prince Ioannes could tell that the crowd was listening closely to what he was saying.

Prince Ioannes - To tell you more, I want to introduce the producer of Real Basketball Simulator, Seth Bennett.

Seth Bennett made his way onto the stage.

Seth Bennett - Thank you, Prince Ioannes. When we began development on the Real Basketball Simulator, we wanted to make a basketball simulation that was true to life. We wanted the Real Basketball Simulator to be made with the same high quality as the Real Soccer Simulator and I am confident that we have accomplished that goal. In order to accurately rate the abilities of all the basketball players in the world, we sent scouts around the world to scout the top basketball players. Their research has enabled our team of talented programmers and designers to produce the most realistic interactive simulation of basketball ever made. That is not just hype. The Real Basketball Simulator simply is so realistic that it blows away everything else on the market at the present time. The Real Basketball Simulator is as real as it gets.

The crowd applauds loudly.

Seth Bennett - Thank you for your applause. Continuing on, we wanted to provide a variety of unique experiences to keep users entertained even when they get tired of the regular basketball mode. I believe we have done exactly that. We have the largest array of features I have ever seen assembled in a simulation of basketball and we also have, like the Real Soccer Simulator, a true to life career mode that enables you, the user, to be a basketball player or coach and work your way up to becoming a legend of the sport. Career mode is designed to be real to life, simulating the way things actually are in the league in that country. In the Saintland League, the user will not be able to select the coach option, as Sanctii teams do not have coaches, and must earn the captaincy by playing well enough to be named team captain. We want to make our experiences as real as possible and we are confident that we will achieve that. In the meantime, we have a trailer showing all the game modes.

Prince Ioannes handed the Saint to Seth Bennett and Bennett selected the Real Basketball Simulator trailer video. A video played, showing all the modes previously discussed and focusing on all of the features available in the Real Basketball Simulator. The trailer showed all the micromanagement that is possible in the coach version of Career Mode. Player career mode practices were also shown in the trailer. When the trailer was done, the crowd applauded loudly.

Seth Bennett - As you can see, in player career mode, you will have to practice to keep your skills up. This is just like the Real Soccer Simulator. Practices will, as much as possiible, resemble actual practices from the nation in question. In some cases, they may be generic because our scouts were unable to discover information regarding that nation's practice methods, but the Real Basketball Simulator is designed to be real in every aspect. We aren't overlooking even the smallest details. We know that our users want a real simulation of basketball that reflects the way the sport is actually played. We are intent on releasing a product that does exactly that. I have the privilege of concluding this presentation by announcing that the Real Basketball Simulator will be available in the launch window and will only be available on Doors 9 and the Saint. The Real Basketball Simulator will be exclusive to the Saint during the launch window.

The audience applauded once again as Mr. Bennett and Prince Ioannes left the stage. Dirk Roth and Prince Andreas both came back on stage. Dirk Roth spoke first.

Dirk Roth - A most interesting presentation. I'm sure the Real Basketball Simulator will be another hit from Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland and RepublicSoft.

Prince Andreas - That certainly isn't everything we have to offer. Next, we will hear from Iulietta Perquitienus of Cantus Virginum. As Miss Perquitienus is not fluent in English, I will translate for her.

---

Group claims responsibility for heckling at recent Cantus Virginum concert

(SP) A group calling itself Vindicta Progressvm has claimed responsibility for the heckling incident during the recent Cantus Virginum concert at Royal Square Garden. This comes a week after the entire Kingdom was shocked by the vicious and mean-spirited behavior of these disrespectful brats. Since they were spread out throughout RSG and were not clearly identifiable, authorities could not track them down and no arrests were made at the time of the incident. "This incident was appalling. The Princess Maria attended this concert. I can't even describe how difficult it was to console her. She cried for hours after that concert and all because of a handful of brats. I promise to put the police to work tracking down each and every member of Vindicta Progressvm. I have already defined Vindicta Progressvm as a 'such illegal organization' as per my Royal Decree earlier this year. Therefore, they are now as illegal as Feministvs Sanctvsterra in my Kingdom. It is now illegal to join, financially support, or otherwise aid Vindicta Progressvm in any of their endeavors and I decree this to be retroactive. I promise that each of these delinquents will be brought to justice and shipped off to reform school." - King Paulus XV

Vindicta Progressvm uploaded a video to Sanctustube earlier today, in which a youth, apparently a foreign resident, explained the nature of their organization and its goals. They claimed responsibility for the disruption of the halftime show at the International Basketball Championship home game against Mapletish and for the heckling at the recent Cantus Virginum concert. Vindicta Progressvm is apparently a group, organized similarly to the infamous Feministvs Sanctvsterra, of students from Progress High School that oppose the methods of their High Inquisitor, Sister Maria Polus. Their video, which has now been taken down, denounced Sister Polus and criticized Cantus Virginum for being good influences to the young ladies of our Kingdom. Needless to say, it was an abomination and the SP applauds Sanctustube for taking that filth down quickly and distributing copies to the proper authorities.

Progress High School was the worst foreign resident school in the entire Kingdom. The school was a den of vice located in St. Ioannes village. Then, a few youths were arrested at 3 in the morning for fornicating in a public park. It turned out that they were from that school. Soon, there was a wave of fornication arrests involving high school-age youths from throughout the Kingdom. There were news reports that several schools, including Progress High School, were teaching a now banned subject called "sex education" as part of the curriculum. This necessitated a decree by King Paulus XV to clean up foreign resident schools and better monitor the foreign resident population.

King Paulus XV's Decree took the reasonable middle ground, but soon infuriated imperialists from the WA. The Kingdom of Saintland has never been a member of the wicked WA and will not join, so long as it is an agent of Satanas that mandates the passing of numerous wicked laws in all member nations. King Paulus XV wisely permitted foreign resident schools to continue to exist. Our Kingdom has a worldwide reputation for being welcoming to foreigners. We want them to convert to the True Church of their own free will, so we do not believe in forcing them or their children into the Church. Apparently, that is not good enough for some foreign regimes, which apparently want to impose their wickedness upon our Kingdom and corrupt our youth. The Kingdom of Saintland will never give in to foreign pressure. We will never permit foreign resident youth to corrupt the morals of native Sanctii youth, nor will we ever disestablish the Church of Saintland or abolish the divinely-ordained distinctions between men and women. We will always stay true to the teachings of God, as expressed through His True Church. We will not become just another nation. We will remain God's Righteous Kingdom, in this world.

Per his Royal Decree, King Paulus XV appointed Sister Maria Polus as the High Inquisitor at the infamous Progress High School. Sister Polus is a nun who is notable for her piety. She seemingly has a seriousness about her to a greater extent than any other nun. She was the perfect choice for that job, as Sister Polus fast gained a reputation as the strictest High Inquisitor in the entire Kingdom. A school like Progress High School that was filled with delinquents and faculty members that were deliberately corrupting their students desperately needed a strict authority figure like Sister Polus to straighten out the students and faculty. For the most part, she seems to have done a good job.

Unfortunately, there appear to be a number of incorrigible delinquents attending Progress High School. The SP can confirm that a student at that school was arrested as part of the arrests of Feministvs Sanctvsterra members during the Cup of Harmony. Since then, Feministvs Sanctvsterra has not been heard from, within the borders of the Kingdom of Saintland. The only acts that terrorist organization has engaged in since the end of the last World Cup Cycle have been outside of the Kingdom. Several of their members were in attendance at the World Baseball Classic in Cassadaigua, heckling Sanctii athletes and spreading vicious slanders against the Church of Saintland and the King's Government. More recently, they were seen competing in the event styling itself the "World Korfball Classic" in the city of Baseton in the Free Republics. While the SP cannot condone anybody participating in the mixed-gender "sport" of korfball, we still went to send our congratulations to New Sideburn on denying those terrorists a spot in the finals. Although New Sideburn may be a nation known for their thuggishness, at least they are not a gang of terrorists attempting to destroy the Church of Saintland and the King's Government.

Now, Vindicta Progressvm has emerged as a second terrorist organization in our Kingdom. Fortunately, their members that illegally protested the halftime show of the basketball game against Mapletish are in reform school right now. Unfortunately, those hecklers from the recent Cantus Virginum concert are not. God willing, they will be joining their fellow incorrigible delinquents in a Church of Saintland reform school very soon. We can only pray that they will someday repent of their ways and embrace God's Truth. If not, it won't be long after their release from reform school until they end up in a prison. Either way, they will be reformed and put back on the right path.

[New Sideburn]

Cathy Stokes' Dream Diary
November 25, 330
I dreamt that I was waking up from a dream. Someone said "What did you dream about?" I looked to my right and there was a hot journalist made out of bronzed skin, steroids and peroxide. I said "I dunno." He laughed at me, and then took a photo of me. I told him, "You aren't publishing a picture of my tits on your newspaper." He said, "No," and I looked down and I had the upper body of a man and the lower body of a horse. I woke up, felt vaguely haunted and made sure we weren't playing Karditan or the Equestrian States in the qualifiers.

Escher cleared her throat and gave the list another cursory glance.

REASONS THE ARCHREGIMANCY WILL HATE US
+ 2 lesbians
+ 1 bisexual male
+ Gethin Ramsey
+ A lot of rowdy fans
+ Women
+ A lot of rowdy fans who are women
+ 5 atheists, 2 agnostics, the rest are Catholics and most of them have lapsed
+ Gethin Ramsey

After some thought, she underlined the second occurrence of her gaffer's name, then tucked the list into her pocket. One thing was for sure, the match was going to be an interesting one...

It was an interesting one for many reasons, not all of them pleasant.
For one, they'd been asked not to bring many fans. Just... a thousand, in fact, and preferably no women at that. New Sideburn had refused the second request (besides, how would they enforce it?), but grudgingly accepted the first. The Archregimancy was... remote. Very remote. And it apparently liked to keep itself that way.
This didn't suit the Cormorants, who seemed distinctly ill at ease in the eerily quiet stadium. But they knew they had to win against...
... against...
... well, they were monks, no two ways about it.
Ninety minutes passed, slowly and painfully. It ended 1-3.
"No chance of a nearby pub?" said Dale hopefully as they left the pitch.
"Shut up," snapped Portia.

They took the first flight out, feeling disheartened and shaken.
"I miss being the plucky underdogs all the neutrals liked to see winning," Anna said sadly after a while.
"How d'you mean?" asked Paolo Crewe. The Maximum City goalkeeper was new to all this, and as a player in a team that was permanently dark horses at best his confusion was understandable. The novelty of that wore off after a while.
"Well, last qualifiers, we got utterly smashed against some of these sides. Shut out a lot, too, and could never keep a bloody clean sheet. But every victory seemed really special. And we never really expected to beat anyone seeded above us. Anyway, the playoffs were way out of reach and we all knew it. We were just ... playing for pride, pretty much. But here... I mean, 3-1 loss against one of the top ten in the world! And they were playing at home, too! And we're coming home disappointed?"
"Shouldn't we always go out swinging for a win?" countered Lucia.
"Sure, but we should accept that it won't always happen," Anna shot back.
"She has a point," murmured James Yorke, or just 'Yorkie' to pretty much everyone.
"Basically I'm just saying we shouldn't beat ourselves up over every loss. I mean... the bookies expected it, and even we knew we only had an outside shot at it. We did well out there; they just did better. Now we got a match against Gordonopia next; we're at home, literally a hundred and twenty times as many fans, a big team but well reachable, and I think we should look ahead to that. Right?"
"Yeah," muttered Gerd, without much conviction.
"Right!" said Anna, brightly. "Then that's settled."

[Qazox]

New Bruxen Hotel and Casino Field, New Bruxen-

The rumors of the Wolves death as predicted by us...might have been a bit premature. A rousing 4-1 win over Boring Paradise has Qazox off to their best qualifying start in 12 years at 4-0-0. Erika Bastille's 2 first half goals just 6 minutes apart sparked the Wolves' 4 goal first half. Though BP did manage to get a second half goal, they looked disjointed for most of the match.

With Qazox' easiest portion of the schedule done, they head on the road to face Estope.

GOALS:
Bastille- 14'
Bastille- 20'
Hilton- 32'
Wayne- 37'
Armours- 64'

[Nandezia]

by Tomas Ubina
Nandezia Gain First Point in Qualifying
Nandezia have finally put themselves on the map by gaining their first point against Phing Phong away from home. This point moves them into 8th place on goal difference, with 14 games left to go in the qualifying stage of the competition. Manager Dani Clemente says the team will ride the confidence from this result into the next match, and hopefully keep up the positive progression.

The game started out horribly for the Canaries, as an early goal by Phing Phong in the 5th minute, and then an own goal by Nandezian defender Timoteo in the 8th minute, saw Phing Phong take an early 2-0 lead. Then, however, especially after half time, the Tweeties got their act together and began working together out of the back, and playing smartly. Nandezia finally got one on the board after several minutes of attack in the 74th minute, when Felix Alban headed home a Lothaire cross. In the 84th minute, Alban played a layoff pass to Chevalier who was able to get it past the one defender left guarding the net. The Canaries had salvaged a point from this match, making the final score, 2-2.

Nandezia will play their next game back in Nandezia at La Gomera in Isleno. They are hosting Neu Engollon, the 6th place team in Group 10. Forward Felix Alban has stated the importance of taking points from this match. Winning the home games is what matters most to Alban, and he says although Neu Engollon will be stalwart opponents for the Canaries, he is fully expecting if the Nandezians can play their top football, which they haven't been as of late, that they can take the full 3 points from the match, and start inching their way back up the table.

[Cassadaigua]

No Audioslavia hangover,
by Adrienne Geraci

There were some people concerned that we would have somewhat of a hangover after getting a huge win over Audioslavia as we went to Atlantian Oceania to take on Kiryu-shi. In a way then, it may have good that the schedule makers put these games back-to-back, because we are all very much aware that we have to beat more then just Audioslavia to qualify. We are the third seed in the group, after all, and not the 2nd. That honor belongs to a pretty damn good squad from Kiryu-shi, and this game was just as important. The Kiri are known more for their defensive soccer, and we expected a grind-it-out type affair. That’s what we got, and there would only be one goal in the match. Fortunately, that came off the foot of Erika Fenwick in the 49th minute. After a scoreless first half, in which a lot of tactical strategy went into play on our end, and surely also with Reah Wilson’s team, getting a goal early in the second half was key to deflate the home crowd. They had a couple chances, but we made the plays we needed to make on defense, and when tested, Lauren Kearns made the saves. So now, after that terrible opening matchday draw against City of Woe, we have pulled to 3-1-0, with wins against the top two seeds of the group in the bag already for the first half.

It was really a beautiful day for soccer, and I think the fans made the most of it. They deserve it, here. However, our hotel stay was not the greatest. First, when we checked in, we were not assigned the proper amount of rooms. This was not the fault of the front desk staff, as apparently a CASE secretary forget to fax the hotel “page 2" of our rooming list. So I really hope the next time we go on the road for a qualifying game, that CASE properly sends the complete rooming list to the hotel. We managed to get by, as instead of us all having our own individual rooms, we paired up all of the expected substitutes and reserves and made them have to sleep two per room. Those of us in the starting lineup were still able to have our own individual room. So fine, whatever, things happen. Well anyway, I get to the room and it’s a scalding 90-degrees. Evidently, after the housekeeper cleaned the room, they decided to turn the heat up to the max (or didn’t realize that it was set that way). So again, fine, I turn the heat all the way down, and crank up the air conditioner, and go to a friends rooms and we proceed to play RTRapidTransit for a little while. Ok, a long while. Man, that game that became famous during the World Baseball Classic really can be addicting. So we play it, and of course Erica Kenney wins, because she been addicted to the game already for months, and I go back to room. Apparently, I did not set the air conditioner properly because a room that had once been 90-degrees now felt like it was about 40. I then undress to take a shower (calm down, boys) and just as I am about to get in, I find that I was not left any soap in my room by housekeeping. Fine, I’ll just take a warm shower. But apparently then, there were only two settings on the water faucet. Really, really, really hot, or lukewarm. Finding a correct median temperature was impossible. Then after that, the wireless internet was awfully slow. That about sums it up, fortunately, the bed was really comfortable, and I woke up at 6:13am on my own, meaning that I wasn’t that ill-affected by not getting the 6:00am wake-up call that I had asked for.

See, sometimes, it’s not all that glamourous when on the road, but I must say the country of Kiryu-shi, and specifically Sakaino National Football Stadium are beautiful. Perhaps one day when not here to play soccer, I’ll visit on a vacation.

[Brenecia]

It had all started with Tomas Proudfoot.

There was something that Blake had noticed with the players from the Sideburnese Premiership. The playstyles of the Sideburnese and the Brenecians had... a lot of similarities, that was true. They both valued speed, physicality and direct play, and scorned possession. But they did this in different ways. Brenecians were more rigid and defensive, set into their formations and generally well-drilled in them. The Sideburnese, however, flowed chaotically in attack. When they were in possession, the entire team came forward like a flood and washed over the opposition.
This, he had learned, had a lot to do with wing-backs who could start an attack even from their fairly defensive positioning. They were the ones who really leveraged the wing-play; the diamond favoured by the national side in particular lacked any players restricted to the wings. Meanwhile, he felt bound to his wingers.
So he'd started Tomas Proudfoot, currently playing for the Violence Chariots, at left-back. And he'd tried to drill the wingers to work with their full-backs, to overlap with each other. It hadn't seemed promising at training.
It was working wonders here.
Where the Sideburnese used the wings mainly as another way to threaten the centre, the Brenecian wingers, Spitfire and Macbeth, really knew how to dominate the flanks. The Patriots found themselves dominating 66% of the pitch. The Sudagians were being pushed off the pitch, and their opening goal (a third minute header off a corner) was looking terribly distant. Brenecia had pulled one back from Twining, and had threatened several times since.
It was the sixtieth minute. Spitfire passed to Proudfoot who rolled on a forward pass, cutting Sudagiu's right-back out of the play entirely. Spitfire neatly ran onto the forward pass, glanced up to find the penalty area at her mercy, and let fly.
Edmund Pike rose above the defenders, just in front of the goalkeeper, and smashed the ball into the net with real vicious power.

The Patriots had won a game for the first time since the Baptism of Fire.
----------------------------------------
SCOOP OF THE DAY with MEREDITH FINCHE

Hi-hi! It's Finchy here, and I am, as usual, bringing you the latest in the recent past! Our Yesteryear XI has been a real hit with the fans, and I'm sure you can't wait to hear our next choice...
But for now, let's talk about the game. It was an interesting gamble, playing Proudfoot instead of Silence, but I guess it worked out! It was clearly the pressure on the wings that won us the game, after all. But not just that, it's heroic target man Edmund Pike who has to be on the receiving end of all this! And with five goals in nine games, I'd say he's done a bloody good job! He's easily the best man for the job in the country, largely because Huckerby is really, really old.
But I digress.
Our next member of the dream team is its captain, Eleanor Reed! Eleanor has the record of being the oldest goalscorer in Brenecian Championship history, at 41 years and 8 months when she scored a free kick for Envy River in 309. Eleanor was remarkably tall for a woman at 6'1", which of course better enabled her to ... well, be a centreback. The redoubtable Reed was primarily known for her ability as a leader, and could single-handedly inspire victories where defeat seemed certain! However, that's not to say she was any slouch as a player; in fact, most people said she was just as fast at 18 as at 42! Granted, they said that was probably her weak point, but I always see myself as a 'glass half-full' person.
The next match is going to be a thriller, as the Patriots take on the Free Republics! We'll be travelling to Nicholls Enterprises Stadium, which... is not the most charming of names, I suppose. But we'll make do. It fits 66 thousand, which should give a good atmosphere. They play in a daring 3-4-3 diamond formation. That means it's probable that our brave boys will try to exploit their weak wings. Oh, and they're absurdly young; like, fifteen-year-old in the starting eleven young. That's pretty young. So they're probably pretty easy to knock about. Hopefully we knock seven kinds of hell out of them and come back home in time for tea, eh? Well, that's all for now; see you next week!

[Jeruselem]

Two naked redheads at Dazza Dallas Stadium ... Princess Katy and Isabella Rachel Dallas

Katy: Hello, this is Princess Katy once again. I'm with another Dallas, Isabella Rachel Dallas. Better known as Rachel Fox.
Rachel: Hello, and hello to my fans out there
Katy: She's naked because she chose to be.
Rachel: I spend most my working life nude anyway
Katy: So you're here to watch the team play.
Rachel: Yes, I'm a patriot too.

Katy: Jeruselem beat Mesoland 1-0. Not much a game really today
Rachel: They sure made hard work of it but 3 points for the Princesses all the same
Katy: And still the best defense in the group
Rachel: We aren't scoring a lot of goals but we keep them out
Katy: Do people know you are a Dallas?
Rachel: Depends know you ask. Jeruselemites can spot a Dallas a mile away.

Katy: Some say you're one of prettiest Dallases around
Rachel: Me? No way. I'm pretty but you're in another league.
Katy: So why do porn. You're very educated and very smart.
Rachel: Mum said do a job you enjoy. I tried many jobs. None really make me happy until I started making movies.
Katy: Surely you could be on TV for Naked News or be a normal actress.
Rachel: Well, I love my job

Katy: I guess that's what matters in the end.
Rachel: Good work, good pay.
Katy: Jeru FC beat Eastfield Lodge 5-3 with Melody Dallas's team registering a win after a loss and draw
Rachel: Oh yes, the Jeru FC boys. They are fans of mine.
Katy: They are fans of any naked Dallas.
Rachel: Some are truly weird though. I wouldn't want to work with them.

Katy: My sister has to.
Rachel: Yes, they are creepy.
Katy: And Eura lost to the he Licentian Islands 5-3 OMG!
Rachel: We just played those two didn't we?
Katy: Yes, amazing.
Rachel: Yeah, wow.

Katy: Did you know Beaverriver is 2nd in our group 6?
Rachel: Really? That's amazing. I know all about beaver ...
Katy: I'm sure they have different beavers
Rachel: I have a dirty mind
Katy: Well, so do I.
Rachel: You're doing a great job covering the cup Katy

Katy: Thanks. I'd rather be out there kicking goals.
Rachel: I tried football. Not much good at at.
Katy: Nevermind, that. You've made music video too.
Rachel: Well, I have. I don't sing much. I mean you and Melody can sing. I'm awful
Katy: You're not that bad.
Rachel: I'll stick to bonking.

[Jeru FC]

Jeru FC coach Princess Melody and player Dream Lord

Melody: Did you score a goal today? I mean that's impossible.
DL: Yeah I did.
Melody: By sneaking around again
DL: Yes well. That's my method.
Melody: Maybe you can sneak around and help defend the goal
DL: Nah, they'd see me.

Melody: No wonder we concede to many goals
DL: we have no idea how to defend
Melody: The defenders have no idea. The rest even less. Only the keeper saves us from worse scorelines.
DL: I could sneak around and punch people
Melody: That's not legal
DL: Oh well

Melody: Who posted a video of me in the shower last week?
DL: Not me
Melody: Why?
DL: I don't do distance videos
Melody: Oh yes
DL: Wasn't me

Melody: Nevermind
DL: So we getting better
Melody: Maybe try stopping the other team from scoring
DL: Sounds like hard work
Melody: Well get used to it buddy
DL: The concept of work is hard enough

Melody: That Vance finally started doing his work
DL: He says he could get a date with your daughter
Melody: I guess a hattrick a good start
DL: I think he worked out how to tie his shoes properly today
Melody: Gee, he's a bit slow
DL: Or maybe he got the shoes wrong way round

Melody: I guess he figured it out finally
DL: I'm no dummy
Melody: You're very clever, and creepy
DL: Thanks
Melody: No you can't date my daughter
DL: That's OK

Melody: That Ice Warrior guy is ... so ... cold
DL: He's got no emotions.
Melody: Why is that?
DL: Oh some genetic disorder
Melody: God I'm a bundle of emotions from hell
DL: He does his job I guess

Melody: No fun to talk to
DL: Yes, better than Daryl Dalek
Melody: He sure likes killing stuff
DL: Yes

[Commune-PDTv2]

Beta collapsed back into the plush seat in the directorial box. Relief. Finally some good news. The final whistle had blown and the Commune has emerged victorious. Victorious under their own steam. Granted, a lacklustre 1-0 victory over a lowly ranked team within their group at home was hardly the appearance of future world champions but Beta still clung to a minute thread of hope. There were many more matches to go and finally one of the scientists predictions had come true. Hopefully, it was the first of many.

He sent a quick message to Epsilon-Gamma, telling him to obviously leave the facts as seen but just elaborate upon the dominance of the Communadi xylovitus. Also to make the goal a little more dramatic. The mad scramble in the box which resulted in the goal was to be changed to a fearless scorcher of a header. Header? Hmmm ... theoretically, as it used it's roots, it was still a kick ... nevermind. Who was going to argue over the anatomy of the beast?

The Xylovitus was being escorted, under armed guard, from the pitch. 'twas a strange sight, watching the creature walk in a bipedal fashion. Cumbersome, strained and accompanied by goading shouts from the guards, celebrating the victory yet seemingly remaining ignorant of the player who had just won. Beta watched this torturous procession reach the edge of the pitch where the Xylovitus turned and looked straight up to where Beta was stood. The pair looked silently at each other until a guard fires his gun into the creatures leg. It recoiled in pain and sap began to drip from these new holes. With one final look to Beta, it turned away and continued. It was difficult to tell but Beta was sure it was limping.

He sat back into his chair. Great! Now the damn tree in injured ... He sent a message to the scientists to prepare a medical examination for the creature and it was then that he noticed it. Writing upon the field. Many small yellow flowers spelling out a single word amidst the white lines and brown scars in the turf.

'Beta'

[Neu Engollon]

Schwartzgarten, Grisbenden Canton, Neu Engollon 22 June 2013

We went to the game against Homelands Our in Omholt Stadium. Homelands Our. Dad made me watch this space movie where a little pointy-eared green guy talked like that. All his words were backwards and he didn't make much sense, but all the humans thought he was soooo smart. My Dad really likes the movie a lot, along with the one with the big black helmet mask guy. Wait, I think he's in both of them. Ugh, who cares? It's no Super Sammy Samurai.
So, yeah, Omholt Stadium is named after the famous Omholt family. This movie came out pretty recently about them and the Toft family and how they don't like each other much because they have different breueries. The Tofts own the Burgunden Breuerie, which a bunch of Tofts have run for a long long time. I asked Mrs. Toft about it and she just smiled and said it was a bunch of hooey and that the Omholt's were perfectly nice people and everyone likes each other. Later, Dad told me that she just married into the Toft family, so she didn't grow up with all the crazy stuff that went on between them, learning to hate the Omholts.

So, the game actually was pretty good and I tried to pay attention for most of it. It started out very early with a yellow card on Alessandro Columbano, one of our midfielders. I was watching, but I still don't get why. Then Vuson scored the first goal around 23 minutes off an assist by Grazzani. Right before the half mark, an HO forward scored a goal on Flegzut and Oskar didn't come back after the half, with Iggy Anselmetti back in goal after so long not doing it, when they came back onto the field. Being a goalie that is. I'm bad at this. So, after two more yellow cards, one for Labrecq and one for one of their midfielders, the Goats captain, Brenz, drilled one past their keeper around the 60 minute mark and they kept trying but could never get one back on us. We won 2-1.

It feels pretty good to see Dad so happy. We only lost one match so far, but this is also the first match we've actually won. We got invited to join the team again after, at the Burgunden BreuPub, funny enough, on Omholt Strasse.
I didn't go, though. Mom was waiting outside the stadium for me. I was so happy to see her. She drove down from home, because it's only like a little over a two hour drive. She told Dad she would bring me back to the hotel, the Paradise, and he said okay.
We went for root beer floats and we talked a lot. I got to the hotel pretty late, but Dad was still up. I think he had a good time at the BreuPub and was happy to have some adult guy time with the Goats. He and Mom barely said anything to each other, but that's accorzu. I think they still like each other.

We have to catch a flight really, really early in the morning for Isleno, Nandezia. One country I've actually heard of. Should be fun and interesting to see La Gomera. More tomorrow, dear old journal.

Manny.

[United Gordonopia]

The Beautiful Game: A History of Football in Gordonopia
By Dr. Frank Donaugh, Imperial University

Chapter IV - The Cup

Gordonopian club football is distinct from most elite leagues in that it does not have a true cup tournament. Today, the 'Gordonopia Cup' simply acts as a post-season playoff for the top eight Premier League teams, while the Inter-League Cup is exclusive to the eight regional leagues, and determines promotion to the Premiership. While this may set the nation's system apart today, it was not always the case.

The early pioneers of Gordonopian football had successfully spread the game to a variety of cities and towns by the start of 1907, and were at the forefront of a burgeoning minor sport. Matches regularly drew crowds in the hundreds, sometimes even thousands, and several clubs began tours around the country to play in other cities. But there was no national organization.

After the success of their inter-city match, Manley and Faulkner agreed to organize a convention on football. Representatives from every club at the time were invited to Deska with the goal of creating some body to unify them.

For two weeks, they met, argued, and in their time off viewed exhibition matches between the several clubs that had formed in the Deska area. Finally, on May 9th, they hammered out an agreement. The 'Republic Cup' would organize all 84 active clubs into one single tournament.

The teams were drawn into groups of five or six by geography in order to keep travel costs down. After each team had played one round robin within their group, the top four teams would enter a knockout round, with the final match to be played in Gordonopia City. Many of the representatives were hesitant to accept Manley's proposal to rent out the Gordonopia City Athletic Club's track stadium, which sat over 25,000 people, though after Manley boldly assured them that he could sell out every seat, they relented.

The cup played through, minus some teams who were forced to forfeit matches due to lack of funding, and to the pleasure of some of the organizers, the final came down to FC Deska and Gordonopia FC. While Manley had already been able to sell a number of tickets to people interested after reading about the last exhibition match or several of the feature pieces on the sport he had managed to get placed in papers, billing the final as a rematch of the game a year before, and an inter-city rivalry at that, helped drive sales even more. Though the last tickets weren't sold until he day of the match, 25,000 spectators packed in to watch FC Deska avenge their previous loss 2-0; an unprecedented number for anything that wasn't running.

It was a high-water mark for the sport, one that would be hard to follow up on. But after papers around the nation reported the significance of the crowd, the sport was truly brought into the spotlight for the first time.

[Paradystopia]

JW: Taking SparkyMarks' comment from our last show we're going to try and bring this show back onto football.
YS: Ah man! That sucks.
JW: Well, this is meant to be football show ...
YS: I dunno. Whirled Cup could equally be about creative use of spirals in chalice design.
JW: True, but it isn't.
YS: Yeah, I know.
JW: So, football. Well, Paradystopia lost their first game of the qualifying to Gyastoky
YS: Who?
JW: Gyastoky?
YS: I don't think that's what they're called ...
JW: Oh ... I've never been good with foreign names.
YS: I can tell.
JW: So what are called?
YS: I've told you dude, I don't watch the football. I neither know nor care.
JW: Gyarados?
YS: What?
JW: No, that sounds too much like a Northern Sunrise Islander
YS: Gyatso-Kai.
JW: Yeah, them. I thought you didn't know anything about football.
YS: I don't, but the internet does.
JW: Oh. So, anyway, Gyatso-Kai defeated Paradystopia in a close fought battle. To be fair the Paradystopi should be proud. They were unlucky not to hold onto the one-all draw, conceding the final goal in the fifth minute of added time.
YS: Added time?
JW: Yeah, you know, when they add time on at the end for stoppages
YS: Stoppages?
JW: Yeah, injuries, fouls, etc.
YS: Good grief, this game is stupid. If you're gonna play 90 minutes, then play 90 minutes. Why add time on?
JW: Because sometimes it is called for
YS: Yeah right. I'd just set up a massive alarm clock. 90 minutes, nothing more, nothing less.
JW: THAT is a stupid idea
YS: Not as stupid as arbitrarily adding time on at the end.
JW: It's not arbitrary. The fourth official tallies ...
YS: Fourth official? Like a secret referee?
JW: No, just a ... err ... fourth official.
YS: So the secret referee rolls a dice or something and goes 'Oh, today we are going to play an additional 5 minutes'
JW: You've totally missed the context
YS: So what else does the secret referee do?
JW: Errmm ... I'm not entirely sure. It's mainly the added time I think. Oh and substitutes.
YS: Substitutes?
JW: Damnit Yapper, do you know anything about football.
YS: Nope
JW: What do you know?
YS: Well, The reigning champions are .. err ... is it Aubergine-Halvesia? and they beat Assumvuh in the final.
JW: Assumvuh?
YS: I'm sure it's Assumvuh.
JW: Well, the champions are Audioslavia and the runners-up were Andossa se Mitrin Vega
YS: No, Assumvuh.
JW: Really not.
YS: Assumvuh
JW: Wait, how is Assumvuh spelt?
YS: A s m v
JW: Ah ... I see. That's an acronym.
YS: Oh
JW: So you were nearly right.
YS: I prefer Assumvuh
JW: Anything else you know about World Cup Football
YS: ... don't think so ...
JW: Your enlightened perspective brings so much to this show
YS: Thank you very much for your kind comments James
JW: That's was sarcasm ...
YS: I know. Ditto ... Arsehole

[Omarios]

"Coach Ramo enters the dressing room"
"Sigh"


"Ok, we are officially not going to the WC, why guys why?
"You are not even scoring goals anymore.."
"Its quite a shame that we are losing 4-0 every goddamn time we enter the ******* field."
"Just..just try your best OK??

[Filopines]

PHRASEBOOK & DICTIONARY
Intro|Survival Phrases & Numbers

---

GRAMMAR...MAYBE?
I/me - akyo/kyo
my - akyon/kyon
he - naya
and - y/gan
a/an - tuk
the - ing
of - sa
at - sa
be - kik
am/is/are - si
you - ikaw/ka
this - kani/ni
where - dal
we/us - pik
they - sila
who - kinsa
it - gid
some - ika
have - naa
this - kani
that - kana
our - ato
if - kon
but - sek
so - taw
also - pud


plural for common nouns - dian
eg. ing dian yarak (the arms)

past tense for verb - nil- (prefix)
eg. niltawani akyo (I understood)

present tense for verb - nag- (prefix)
eg. nagtawani akyo (I understand)

future tense for verb - -hat (suffix)
eg. kawanhat akyo (I will eat)


The car - Ing dian kara
A baby - Tuk bañera
Some avocados - Ika dian abukadu
My beer - Akyon carayam
We are men - Pik si lalaki
This is John - Kani si John
I am Pedro. - Akyo si Pedro. / Pedro kyo.
He is John - Naya si John. / John naya.
You are Lachlan - Ikaw si Lachlan. / Lachlan ka
They ate it. - Nilkawan sila gid.


How to use 'nga' in a sentence
Ancient basket - Isutul nga khantas
A bird's aunt - Tuk ibulu'ng tiya
An angry car - Tuk igura'ng kara
Our car - Ato'ng kara
In the above sentences, if 'the word' ends in a vowel (in this case, 'ibulu', 'igura' and 'ato') a 'ng' is added to the end of the word, not a seperate word ('nga').


The basic sentence structure in Filopinian is verb-subject-object.
Harry ate an apple. - Nilkawan si Harry tuk silitik.
I accept Atlantian Oceania. - Nagdaluat akyo Kolanguy.
I will eat an apricot. - Kawanhat akyo tuk albarkue.


In sentences that contain the word 'have' ('naa'), 'naa' always comes at the start of the sentence, akyo/kyo becomes akyo'y/kyo'y and 'the' (ing)/'a'/'an' ('tuk) is removed.
I have the/a/an apricot - Naa akyo'y albarkue.


Whenever the, a or an is used in the same sentence more than once, 'sa' comes before the object instead of 'tuk' or 'ing'.
The horse will eat the apricot. - Kawanhat ing kabayo sa albarkue.

(OOC: I'm not a linguist so this may not seem so good. Where I say 'the word', I don't know the name for that type of word.)

[Krytenia]

The Inevitable Rise Of Squid-Boy
By Rami Niblick in Jhanna

ONE thing is for certain, and always has been. When the cyan and purple face each other upon the field of play, the form book counts for nought. Starblaydia may be the sixth best team in the world on paper, Krytenia may have slipped to seventy-fourth, but Margaret will sometimes don her velvet blindfold and tear up the formbook in the way that circus strongmen do with telephone directories. An even game that slithered hither and zither, and in the end one good finish was the difference. Sadly for those of a Krytenian persuasion, though, that one strike came courtesy of Antonio Calamari.

Despite being the visitors to the Stadii di Bradini, Krytenia started the more positive side, taking the game to their opponents. Captain Esteban Martinez was finding plenty of room to distribute the ball against his surprisingly sluggish opposite number Ezekiel Stark, whilst Brian Hampton found himself getting into good positions down the right. It was one of these bombing runs that set up the first good chance of the game, as a whipped cross found the head of Martyn Hannigan, who headed narrowly over the bar from eight yards out.

As the first half progressed, though, the Starblaydis began to assert their superiority. Rodundo's shot in the twenty-seventh minute went narrowly wide, and perhaps the best chance of the first half fell to captain Vincenzo Natrionne. His stinging volley from a Lorenzo corner looked to be finding the top corner, but Owen Hazell cleared off the line with his head (well, face) to leave the goal unbreached. Krytenia were reduced to counter-attacking, but nearly got the opener just before the break; Valrauncion, playing against the nation of his birth, shot well from twenty-five yards, but a good diving save from Dean Prinns denied him.

The teams changed ends, and the game flattened to a plateau as the two sides' midfields got the measure of each other. Chances became fewer, and tackles became more robust, as Rodundo, Ó Donndubháin, and Ignatieff all found themselves getting in the Charmunnry referee's notebook. That didn't stop Martinez pinging the bar with a free kick though, nor did it stop Andrew Valentine saving well from a rare Stark stinger.

The deciding moment, though, came an unlucky thirteen minutes from time. A long Stark pass found substitute Jory Masters, who, with his back to goal and Chisholm giving him close attention, laid the ball off for Antonio Calamari to run on to. Calamari struck the ball with force first time, and the shot had the beating of Valentine.

Defeat may have led to the Aces slipping from first to third in the table, but in the cold light of day this result is far from a disaster. It does, though, put more importance on their next game as they take on Legalese at Ellisham's Wanderers Park. Onward!

STARBLAYDIA - 1
Calamari 78

KRYTENIA - 0
no scorers

[Ko-oren]

A victory by two goals? What is this?

Winning a game by two goals. It's still possible. We know that we can score more than one during ties or losses (5-4 versus The Holy Empire), but winning by more than one goal? Unnecessary... Though it does feel good to do it from time to time. Liventia's pretty good at it, judging from their +8 goal difference (which they had already after MD3, because they tied with the Holy Empire just last match. Thanks for that). It would have been nice to have filled the stadium for a game that sees a good victory like this, but the National Stadium had some 3000 empty seats. Meanwhile, the people from Esthauan are still lobbying for their first World Cup Qualification game: there are three stadiums designated as NT stadiums. We've had three home matches so far, two of which were in the National Stadium, one has taken place in the Wind Arena in Tangku. Esthauan expected at least the third match to show that they are not 'the third stadium', but rather 'one of the three stadiums'. Still they should've known that the allocation has taken place a while ago (though is still subject to change. Important games are more often than not played in Ko-oren City, sometimes even Tangku).

Another timid and defensive match, but not one but two balls luckily crossing the goal line. With just six shots on goal (it has to be said that all six were pretty close), you cannot expect to score 5 or 6 goals, either. But there are enough examples of matches where a team had one shot on goal, and scored it. In the bigger picture, Ko-oren had 10 shots total, of which 6 were on goal. That is not a bad thing either. Iturributa was kept to 3 shots on goal, from 7 total shots. That might be an even better statistic. But if Ko-oren would concentrated on just making sure to not concede goals, you'll end up drawing everything 0-0 (see: World Cup 64. 7 ties, just one short of the most drawing nation), though the overall tendency of the national team is even more defensive than last cycle. Maybe it is because the counterattacks are done with a bit more oomph, or speed, or conviction.

For the rest, the game was pretty standard, although many passes by both teams were bad. At least one in five did not reach its destination, which is a bad thing if one team does it, but it levels things out if both teams give the ball away without a reason. An example of a good pass was in the 38th minute, where a cross from Talmis reached Shiribeshi, who could have headed it, but waited a split second to kick it behind the Iturributa goalkeeper. He did more or less the same thing after 66 minutes, showing that he still knows where to stand if things get interesting, and that the only thing that really changes about him is his age. This time, the cross came from Alfar, reaching Tokachi who tried to head it. He was unsuccessful, but the ball remained in play for Shiribeshi to shoot it hard past the goalkeeper. Again, he could've chosen to head it. But seeing as there was no defender near him, why not?

A more depressing thing about the match was the number of yellow cards. Three bookings by the seventh minute (though those were all from the same situation. Two yellows for Iturributa and one for Ko-oren because of a small fight for a corner kick). Those three cards were not the only one, though. The visitors really saw this match as one they could upset and they played with gusto for it. Maybe a bit too much, because they ended up with four yellow cards. Ko-oren had three though, so not a big difference. But they way in which the Iturributan number 18 got his red, might have been a clear sign to them that they were trying to win the match in all the wrong ways. After a tackle that was worth at most yellow, he started a discussion with Tokachi, and they pushed each other over. Yellow for Tokachi, red for his opponent.

Ko-oren 2–0 Iturributa (SoT 6-3, S 10-7, Poss 53-47, Pass 78%-73%)
@National Stadium, Ko-oren City, Ko-oren
19:30, 13C, rain. Att: 63,827

Goals:
'38 Shiribeshi, '66 Shiribeshi - /

Yellow:
'7 Norn, '39 Talmis, '83 Tokachi - '7 #4, '7 #6, '60 #8, '84 #2
Red:
/ - '82 #18

Subs:
'59 Sanuki OUT, Erlenajaur IN
'67 Talmis OUT, Eregrent IN
'82 Idrasil OUT, Haukderevnastar IN

Chapter 4: Cities

Apart from regions and states, Ko-oren has some typical and interesting cities too. The majority of Ko-orenites live in cities with a population over 100,000. Cars are not easily available in the country, so most people rely on public transit, which is better and more efficient within cities. Living in more populated areas is now beneficial to most people, which also accounts for the decent growth figures.
While most cities are built in places that used to be an advantage to economy and commerce, a good number of towns and cities are built in ‘interesting’ places. This includes on the top of cliffs, on mountainsides, around lakes and in forests. Usually, the city has some sort of river near it to at least make sure the people had clean water and the farmers could grow crops. This was all before modern times, but the cities built at that time are still there, obviously.
The largest cities are in the states of Othushun and Arelothun. More on these states later, but the cities are important. The two largest cities of the country are in these states: Sraltlur in Othushun and Tangku in Arelothun. There is one more city that needs to be mentioned when we are talking about biggest and most influential: Ko-oren City, in the (northern) state of Kthosl. All three are over 10 million, and though Ko-oren City is the smallest of the three, it is more influential due to the government being located here. Ko-oren City is also known for its large and ornamental buildings, nicknamed the City of Palaces. Sraltlur is the City of Light, known for its bright sky all year round, in addition to the fact that the city is often perfectly located to watch comets, stars and even the northern light, despite their not-so-northern position. Tangku is the hottest large city of Ko-oren, nicknamed the City of the Sun.
Apart from these three, Othushun also has Kolkath and Enkl, and Lirad, Wastan and Alara. The latter three are just under one million in population, the other two are around two million. They are all known for their sprawl, water and clear sky (no air pollution or excessive light at night). Arelothun’s cities, Arboren, Segonana, Senoren, Egevea, and that is just the cities over two million inhabitants, are known for their relatively high temperature, as well as other aspects, such as bridges (Arboren), arches (Senoren), or even dragonflies (Egevea). This last example is a special one, as the national animal of Ko-oren is the dragonfly. It used to be a symbol of just the city, but it extended to the state and even the country.
Other important cities include Maethoru (west) and Sishinova (east), for being the largest city in their region. The last large city not yet named is Esthauan, in northern Ko-oren, which as ancient, massive trees in the city center that still bloom and grow.

1 Overview
2 Geography 1: regions, cities, distances
3 Geography 2: climate, weather & landscape

4 Cities
5 Population, demographics

6 Meritocracy, Ministries
7 Politics, Democracy

8 Age writing
9 Age writing 2

10 Colonies: ARO & TAO & SVO
11 Colonies: IRO & NKO & ZAO
12 Thaulandi

13 Sports: football, baseball, gridiron, field hockey
14 Sports: others (rugby, handball, ice hockey, basketball, marathon), sports per state

15 History 1
16 History 2

17 Language

[Apox]

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

George got off the bus stop, after what felt like, and probably was an eternity on said bus, and looked around at the vast empty wasteland around him. After a short while of looking around, and wondering if this was actually where he was supposed to be, he spotted a small house in the distance.

He trudged across the blasted heathland, which was very boggy underfoot, before arriving at the door of the house. He knocked. Silence. He knocked again. Still silence. On the third time of knocking, the old, battered wooden door swung open, revealing a dark, musty abode.

"Sir Marshall?" he asked, peering in apprehensively. More unbearable silence. Suddenly, a figure appeared out of nowhere, scaring the life out of George and making him stumble back outside into a puddle.

"Bye God you're persistant!" said the figure, coming out of the shadows and revealing himself to be indeed Sir Richard Marshall. George had met him before, only a couple of time and only briefly, but it was definitely him.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" George smiled and replied,

"Ah, yes Sir Marshall, I'm George MacLaren. I met you a couple of time when we were both living." Sir Richard frowned slightly and squinted, examining him. After a couple of seconds he agreed,

"Why of course you are! How are you? And what can I do for you George? Please, call me Richard." He went back inside and motioned for George to follow. They sat down around an old table inside what must have been a kitchen. George started,

"Well you see it's all about this bet I have..." and he told him the entire story. After he finished Richard sat back, considering whether it sounded good for him to take part.

"Well, I certainly see where you are coming from, it would be interesting to show those people from Haïtiens what us Apoxians are made of. What sort of role did you see me in? Not playing surely?"

"Er, I was thinking you might be the manager for us? Seeing as you brought the sport to Apox." More deliberation on Sir Richard Marshall's part.

"I suppose I could come, when are you planning on playing them? Who have you got at the moment?" George blushed slightly, deciding to tell him the definite to start.

"Well, we're playing them in two weeks tomorrow, and regarding the team we have, er..." he was cut off.

"Oh what the Hell, count me in. Maybe I'll get to show off my managerial prowess against Henry Finch. Yes, I'll manage you, do I need to come to the training ground?"

"Well we don't have a training ground at the moment, but you could come back to where we're based, the Rose & Thistle pub in Dwyle."

"Ah, Dwyle. Haven't been there for ages. Well, haven't been anywhere but here for ages. The next bus might be here in 20 minutes, let's go!" he said, standing up and heading out the door, not bothering to close it, "Are you coming?"

---

And that's a first real slip up for the team, against quite a toothless Antoletia side, who despite being the groups third seed, were quite beatable at home in front of a large Royal Stadium crowd. The only consolation is that we haven't lost yet, although beating everyone apart from the Sylvanae, with a loss there, would actually mean we'd have one more point, and therefore be in a better position.

Olim Benzari and Will Fich were both back into the side for this game, with Olim taking the captaincy back from Jack Forster, while Antoletia fielded pretty much a full strength side, with only Stefan Sala not starting due to a niggling ankle injury, with Hannibal starting in his place.

The match kicked-off slowly, with both teams struggling to retain possession and create any solid chances on goal. After a scrappy couple of minutes, Keri Ularu managed to scramble a shot at Adolf Dumitrescu in goal, but it was easily parried away. A couple of minutes later, Dumitrescu was doing more scrambling around in goal, as Jack Moses headed a fiery ball into the box off a corner.

However, Antoletia managed to stop any further Apoxian advances created a defensive wall, and looking for the counter attack, which was how the first goal came about, as Alec Raț tackled Will Fich as he was going forward, quickly putting a through ball through to Hiarchratez, who quickly seized the opportunity to take the ball forward, out pacing Dan Weekes who was struggling to get back, and scoring a relatively simple goal past Will Hewitt, who couldn't reach the ball as it sped past him. The small away fans section erupted into cheers, while there was a stunned silence around the rest of the ground, as people couldn't fully believe what was going on.

The ball was brought back to the half-way line, and play restarted, but the Antoletian defense proved hard to break down once again, and the first half ended 1-0 to the away side.

Both teams returned to the pitch, no substitutions made yet, to continue play, with Apox kicking off the second half. More early scares for the home team, as the Antoletian captain, Filip Constantinescu, curved an excellent shot into the box, which Will Hewitt had to make an exceptional save to prevent the goal. However, the Apoxian team settled into the game, and slowly the flow began to change, with the Antoletian's being put under the most pressure. Keri Ularu, Jack Moses, Olim Benzari and then Keri Ularu again, all had shots on goal. It was clear that an Apoxian goal must surely come soon.

And it did indeed come, in the 71st minute, from a free-kick. Fred Barnett had been floored by an aggressive tackle on him by Sebastian, who received a yellow for his foul. Will Fich stepped up to take the free-kick that had been awarded, about 30 metres out from the goal. He stepped back and curled a shot in, which the multitude of players in the box jostled and struggled to get their heads on. However, no-one, not even the keeper managed to touch the ball, as it smashed into the back of the net, in the top left corner.

So it was then game on, and both sides went quite attacking, though Apox with more success, as a number of good chances were set up for the side, though unfortunately none converting into goals, despite the best efforts of Keri Ularu and Fred Barnett up front, as both players put in a lot of effort to give their side the winning goal. However, it was to no avail, and the match ended a disappointing 1-1 draw.

Team Sheet from the Match (scorer in bold)
GK - Will Hewitt
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Matthias Sindelar
CD - Dan Weekes
LD - Hans Nielssen
RM - Olim Benzari (c)
CM - Jack Moses sub John Carpenter 80'
CM - Will Fich
LM - Fran Gracie
CF - Fred Barnett
ST - Keri Ularu

[Sangti]

Roman was in Baoyam Hotel, sending his news report to his boss. The message reads:

This is my match report for matchdays 3 and 4. I am sure that the guys at the DDS do not proofread the articles that they receive, so just post it in the website for the Sangtians to see the report.

From the one who got shouted at the meeting while scooping the last match,
Roman

For one last time, he checked his attachment, downloaded it and read it one final time to make adjustments.

There were 2 .doc files in the attachment. One saying MD3 and one saying MD4. He opened it both. The first day says:

CRUSHED
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

John Utanes "celebrating" after scoring a goal.

The Royal Kingdom of Quebec 4 (Hong 43' 62' 73', Johnson 13') Sangti 1 (Utanes 76')
World Cup 65 Qualifying Group 16
Green Point Stadium, St. John's, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec

Sangti were crushed by the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, 4-1 yesterday here at St. John's at the Royal Kingdom of Quebec. Goals from Hong Chun Joo (a hattrick) and Riley Johnson proved more than enough for the Grim Reapers to beat the Agilang Dilaw, whose goal came from John Utanes in the 76th minute.

Sangti was uninspirational in this match, and looked to struggle in the entirety of the match. Their defense was broken in the 13th minute when Johnson headed in a cross that left backup keeper Brian Cua no chance. 1-0. Then the lead doubled in the 43rd minute when Hong drilled in a free kick outside the box, 2-0.

It seemed that Jerous Manalo's halftime team talk had an effect to the players--they still struggled, and Hong again punctured the defense with two easily-scored goals in the 62nd and 73rd minutes. However, John Utanes won a penalty kick and took the kick himself. He scored and it was now 1-4. However the score stood at 4-1 at the end of the game.

"It was disappointing. I don't know what to say.' Jerous Manalo said. Sangti remains eighth in Group 16 with 1 point in three games. They next face Sondstead at the Inversores Chinos in Baoyam."

"OK. Time to check the other."

BREAKTHROUGH
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

Sangti 2 (Magcaleng 21', Utanes 85') Sondstead 0
World Cup 65 Qualifying Group 16
Estadio de los Inversores Chinos, Baoyam, Sangti

Sangti got the breakthrough they badly needed. A win in World Cup qualifying. They beat a Sondstead side that fought hard despite the defeat. It was otherwise a hard-earned win by the Agilang Dilaw, but they remained in eighth, six points behind leaders Wight, who beat Saintland 4-3. Sangti will face Aquitayne at their home ground for MD5 and will travel to Narsora for MD6.

Adrian Magcaleng celebrating after scoring the first goal

Adrian Magcaleng scored a screamer after 21 minutes of end-to-end action from both sides. The game was tight with Sondstead looking the sharper team at the moment after trailing courtesy of that goal.The half ended 1-0 in favor of the Agilang Dilaw.

It was a neck-and-neck battle at the second half. Chance after chance it went, but late in the match, John Utanes broke free of his marker and hit a piledriver of a shot that gave keeper Adam Edelwülfssünr no chance. The final score, 2-0.

Utanes securing a win for Sangti

The Agilang Dilaw will have a relatively light schedule with Aquitayne, Narsora and The Sovan Antithesis on their radar before visiting Wight. Alwin Villejo of Carbonel Nuelma was seen in the stands in Baoyam. It was rumored that he was called up by Jerous Manalo to replace Williard Navarette and take the number 1 jersey.

The rumor was confirmed when Jerous Almirante, the FAS Chairman released an official statement:

The Futbol Associacion de Sangti would like to announce the call-up of Alwin Villejo of Carbonel Nuelma to replace the injured Williard Navarette of CD Viocla and will take the number 1 shirt, but it is in the prerogative of Jerous Manalo whether to put him in the starting lineup or not.

Jerous Almirante
FA Sangti Chairman

I LOVE YOU N*** H********

"Oh what the fuck did I just wrote?"

Roman edited his files and sent it to his boss. Minutes later he received a call. It says "BOSS".

"Hello."

"Good job Roman, well, you should constantly give me updates, or else..."

"What else?"

"I'll tell Romeo to write an article of your infatuation to Nova Hellstrom."

"What the fuck? Who in the right state of mind would have fallen for that b****?"

"You. See you around. Keep the articles coming."

"Wait. WAIT!!!"

(call disconnected)

That will make Roman write more articles for the World Cup. Good job, boss. But how did he knew Roman's infatuation? He had access to the laptop of his staff, that's why.

[San Potato]

Shocking Victory by Fhiddlehinton(or something)

This San Potato team is definitely no stranger to losing to lowly teams, but a team as low as Fiddlephinton is embarrassing.
And also the fact this was their first win.
And we were up with 20 minutes left.

Fiddlehinton 3-2 San Potato

48% Possession 52%
5 Shots 32
4 On target 12
6 Fouls 9
0 Bookings 1
2 Corners 10

Goalscorers
13'-Fiddlehinton
54'-Hardaway Jr
68'-Joe Johnson
85'-Piddlehinton
90+'-Fiddlepipton

Our Crusaders looked ready to take this by storm, which was really shown at the start. As soon as they kicked off, it became a shooting practice.
Shot after shot . Miss after miss. Unable to find a way to score. Or they just got blinded by something.
In what really should be an easy win, it became something for San Potato to comeback after Puddlehinton took advantage of a glaring error at the other end of the field and exploited it on the next counter attack. With not time to regroup, the crusaders just had to watch the Fhiddletinton forward slot it past Devin Johnson for a 1-0 lead at the 21 minute mark. F$%#^$! B^$@^&@#.

And that was really the story of the whole first half.
San Potato attack. Shoot. Miss.
Piddlehinton counter-attack. Exploits the D. Easy goal.
GG San Potato GG.


It was mostly a different story in the second half. San Potato actually managed to find the back of the net in one of their 2534 attempts to attack. Only because of a blunder in the free kick.
The Phiddlehitton goalie tried a long but low and slow pass to the defender which Jr saw and reacted quickly, intercepted the ball and scored from a long way out against a keeper off his line.

Devin Johnson managed to pull off a fine double save against Piddlehinton's attacker to turn it into a corner. Had that went in it might have probably been 4-1 instead of 3-2.

Finally, Joe Johnson, who has not really been in his best form for this qualifiers, started a bursting run from Devin Johnson's goal kick to him and blitzed past the defense like an olympic sprinter. Not bad for a player who has been slightly past his prime. However it was his finish that really made the hostile Piddlehinton crowd go wild.

Johnson from the middle, jukes past the defender to the right and then took an off balance shot just inside the box and it somehow got into the net.
Top left corner. Johnson was shocked. Hell everyone was shocked at this amazing goal. 2-1 San Potato.

But what really ruined the night for San Potato was 2 blunders by Devin Johnson which caused san Potato to lose.
So close yet so far
The first goal really was unacceptable. Devin should have gotten the ball easily but the weak shot by the midfielder somehow slipped from Johnson's hand and into the goal.
The second was not as bad, but the fact that it costed us the game, I think I know who is going to be eaten by our fans tonight.
It was a stupid decision for Johnson to try make an acrobatic save when he could have just do a normal save and not risk any chance of the ball going in. But no. This 50 year old decided that he was still 23 and just... I can't really tell you how it went. But Hardaway Sr's interview should really tell you how it went.

"Bloody hell. Bloody F****** Hell. That man Devin is going to get alot of heat not only from me, but from the players, the staff and all the fans. Slipping the ball away for them to tie the game was bad enough. But, Trying to do what he just did at the end of the game? He be getting a whippin from me tonite.

And yeah. That is all we have for you today.


-Your daily meat