International Basketball Championships V: Everything Thread

[Dancougar]

Here, have an RP cutoff!

Group A
Royalsoldiers 87-85 Secristan
Al-Mumtaz 87-96 Taeshan
Mount Kip 68-80 Tyrrin

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Taeshan                    8   1   863  738
Quintessence of Dust       6   3   842  788
Al-Mumtaz                  6   4   861  867
Secristan                  5   4   867  813
Mount Kip                  3   6   759  830
Tyrrin                     3   7   846  881 E
Royalsoldiers              2   8   838  959 E

Group B
Kalasion 75-80 Newmanistan
Burchadinger 72-102 Dancougar
Bisgea 79-77 Valladares

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Dancougar                  7   2   898  774
Newmanistan                6   3   841  820
Cassadaigua                5   4   842  798
Bisgea                     4   5   750  831
Valladares                 4   6   884  881
Kalasion                   4   6   896  903
Burchadinger               3   7   822  926

* Valladares over Kalasion on H2H PD (195-184)

Group C
Colbaltan 90-117 Sarzonia
Shivat 104-89 Delaclava
Warkus 77-83 Cafundeu

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Sarzonia                   8   1   940  807 Q
Delaclava                  6   3   838  820
Shivat                     5   5   891  889
Warkus                     4   5   779  815
Cafundeu                   4   6   857  909
Qazox                      3   6   863  865
Colbaltan                  3   7   858  921

Group D
The Fanboyists 80-84 Tocrowkia
Dimoniquid 82-102 Sibirsky
Matschusin 90-100 Valanora

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Tocrowkia                  7   2   809  740
Valanora                   6   4   901  871
Dimoniquid                 6   4   888  894
Swartaz                    4   5   785  809
Sibirsky                   4   5   866  834
The Fanboyists             4   6   865  880
Matschusin                 2   7   739  825 E

* Valanora over Dimoniquid with 1-0 H2H record.
* Swartaz over Sibirsky with 2-0 H2H record.

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

BASKETBALL REPORTERS TAKEN HOSTAGE

Pocono City- The team had no problem heading to Kalasion for their big game, however the same cannot be said for the production crew that was to be sent to the country for the game as they were carjacked on their way to the airport. “According the Pocono City Police Department, a group of thugs deliberately rear-ended the vehicle in which the two reporters being assigned to Kalasion, as well as the cameraman, as they made their way to the airport,” said Kevin Collins, the editor-in-chief of The Rocket Report. “When the reporters got out to survey the damage, the thugs pulled guns out and took them hostage. They are at an unknown location right now.” Sherriff Jason Bentley says the thugs have an unusual demand, “They noted that the team is playing better when the Rocket Report has not reported on games, as opposed to when they have. So they have demanded no more Rocket Report coverage for the rest of the qualifying round.”

This certainly puts the Rocket Report in a tough situation. We have this obligation to report games to you, and we have been told that Newmanistan won an otherwise ugly game in Kalasion by the score of 80-75 in the group. But we would also like our reporters returned safely. The police at the moment do not know where the captors are. Coach Phil McDowell pleaded for their safety, “Basketball is not a reason to commit a violent act. Our play on the court has nothing to do with whether or not The Rocket Report covered the prior game. Any trends that point to us being unsuccessful after media coverage and successful when there has not been is merely a coincidence. Please, whoever you are, let the reporters go.

The abducted reporters are:

Joe Loggins- A 36-year old with 12 years of experience covering basketball. He has a wife and two kids: John (12) and Stuart (9)

Brittany Allison- A 23-year old recent college graduate who successfully interned at The Rocket Report (yes, Dancougar News, that is possible), before taking on her full-time job. She played basketball in college. She is single.

Nick Cashman- A 56-year old cameraman with 25 years of experience covering Rockets games in all sports.

[Quintessence of Dust]

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Playoff progression "not assured" says nervous Middleton

Quintessence of Dust's basketball have recovered their form to post successive victories, including comprehensive wins over Group A favourites Taeshan and Secristan, at the fifth International Basketball Championships, leading to hopes that they will once again make the playoffs. However, team player-captain Bill Middleton warned against complacency as the team took their off day to respond to press questions, initially squinting into the flashbulb glare with surprise that anyone had actually heard of them. "Everything's still pretty open," he said, "Like your mom."

Travelling to Tyrrin, Middleton led his team to victory with 29 points, shooting 6 from 7 outside the three point line. The team took an early lead that they never surrendered, and ran out victors by 10 points. Very small forward Masami Tamagotchi registered the team's first ever triple double with 14 points, 10 rebounds and 12 assists.

They then faced their biggest challenge, an away game at undefeated group leaders Taeshan. A tense match saw the lead change 9 times, but Quintessence of Dust outscored Taeshan in every quarter and eventually ran away with it by 19 points as Taeshan shot just 33% from the three point line and 74% at the free throw line. Tamagotchi again starred, with +23 +/- and 22 points. The team played with a three guard offense, and Hanna Kyllönen made the most of the start, with 12 points and 15 assists.

66 points in the first two quarters then set up a second upset victory, this time over the Secristan Millionaires, as Winchester Furman hit high form with 31 points. Kyllönen played over 10 minutes more from the bench than starting guard Lokkainen, and finished on a +25 +/- for the night, with 17 points of her own including a huge jumpshot to end the third quarter.

Middleton proved the difference in the team's final match before the break, as he scored 23 points and registered 12 points to overcome Mount Kip 90-75, though the team shot only 4 from 17 behind the arc. "Coming into this, we thought of ourselves as a good three point shooting team, but compared to teams like Newmanistan, Sarzonia, and Taeshan, obviously we still have a lot to prove," said Tamagotchi, who had a double-double with 10 points and 11 rebounds.

[Dancougar]

Every reporter he'd talked to had asked the same question: "The team has been playing very well; what do you have to do to maintain the momentum?" It was as if the Dancougar media expected the ceiling to come crashing down any time now. True, the team had never advanced out of the group stage of the tournament its nation had founded, nor had it even qualified for the first one. They'd come within a Sara Miranda's three-pointer of taking Newmanistan into overtime. Since then, they'd pipped Cassadaigua by a point and cruised to a 28-point win over Valladares. Despite all that, they were consistently being asked if they would be able to hold up since working themselves into an unfamiliar position atop their qualifying group.

Dan was sick of it. He decided that he would personally lead the charge against Burchadinger and prove to the media that his team could play. And he wouldn't just beat Burchadinger, he was going to destroy them. And after dumping 40 points on his helpless opponents -- on their own court, no less -- Dancougar were the proud owners of a 102-72 beatdown which improved them to 7-2.

The Wings started the game conservatively, though, opting to move the ball around and take open shots rather than attack the paint. And they had some success. Tony and Ichigo made eight of their first twelve shots, but Burchadinger were matching them stride for stride. Furthermore, they were getting layups over Kondo, who was getting frustrated by the lack of defensive help. Too many passes were getting through. Dan, in the meantime, hadn't been that effective, with just four points as the Wings led 29-25 early in the second quarter. After an 8-0 run by the home team, Aaron called a timeout and the team had to rethink its strategy.

Well, to a point. Dan, of course, was not one for thinking. "We need to pound these guys," he said in the huddle. "Just feed me and Kondo and we'll blast them."

"Let me guess, more of your 'Basquash' nonsense?" asked Sara, rolling her eyes.

"What is this crap we're playing right now?" Dan challenged in reply. "Call it whatever you want, but I call it boring. We're doing an awful lot of running on the perimeter and we're not generating enough chances. If we pound it inside, we assert our strength and wear them down. Easy."

"We're undersized, and you know it," Kira said. "Bro, we just need to get a few defensive stops. The offense is fine, right?"

"I'm not so sure," replied Aaron. "Dan might have a point." There was an exaggerated gasp from the entire team, and Ichigo got jab in the ribs from Dan. "It's true that we haven't generated much of an inside presence, but you'll b eat a disadvantage right from the start."

"Don't worry about a thing," Dan replied. "If I can't create a few good shots out of nothing, what right do I have to be here?"

"All right, you heard the man," Aaron said, breaking the huddle. "Let him pound it for now." Aaron was banking on the entire team stepping up to counter any expected failings in Dan's "strategy," and he certainly got that. Kondo was rebounding more powerfully in his own end, because he couldn't let Buchadinger had too many cracks at the basket if they were running the whole offense through Dan. Sara and Ichigo were passing and shooting more crisply when they got open, as was Tony. But to his surprise, and the team's, Dan came through. He was a monster.

At halftime, the Wings had taken the lead 54-45. By the end of the third quarter, it swelled to 81-60. Dan's aggressiveness had really done the trick, and since so many defenders started converging on him, the rest of his team was getting great looks with minimal effort. Dan's play was wild, there was no doubt about it. But he had an intangible quality that seemed to bring out the best in the team when he was going at full force. Whatever it was, Aaron liked what he saw.

After Dan pulled off a tomahawk jam to make it 87-68, Aaron finally decided that the reserves could head out. As Dan left the court, Aaron stuck out his hand for a high five. Dan smiled. "I told you, didn't I?" he said.

[Sarzonia]

Woodstock Daily Mail

SFBI called upon to aid kidnapping investigation

From staff reports

POCONO CITY -- Sarzonian Federal Bureau of Investigations director Charlie Linville has directed agents to investigate the abduction of three Newmanistanian reporters.

The reporters, identified as Joe Loggins, 36; Brittany Allison, 23 and Nick Cashman, 56, were taken hostage when a vehicle rear-ended the vehicle being driven by the reporters. Current police accounts allege the assailants deliberately rear-ended the vehicle.

"We will expend all possible energy in an effort to bring these criminals to justice," Linville said. As for a rescue effort, Woodstock Police Department chief of police Thomas Cashman (no relation) announced that his department would provide SWAT teams in an effort to mount a rescue.

"When our sporting teams travel outside the country, our department has jurisdiction to ensure their safety," Cashman said. "We have the ability to send a rapid-response team to both assess the situation and mount a rescue mission where appropriate."

Sarzonian lieutenant president Nicole Lewis has pledged the full cooperation of Sarzonian government officials with Newmanistanian and other officials in a rescue effort. She also issued a strong warning to the assailants.

"Mark my words, we will find you and we will bring you to justice," she said. "You can run, but you can't hide."

The news overshadowed Sarzonia's 117-90 rout of Colbatan making the Stars the first team in the fifth International Basketball Championships to clinch a spot in the group stage. At 8-1, the Stars are level with Taeshan for the best overall record in the qualifying bracket.

Coach Henry West announced the team would go about its normal activities in spite of the abduction of the three Newmanistanian reporters.

"We can't live in fear," he said. "We won't allow ourselves to do that."

[Dancougar]

We didn't find any missing reporters, but we did find this MD12 cutoff.

Group A
Mount Kip 92-96 Secristan
Royalsoldiers 64-89 Taeshan
Al-Mumtaz 93-76 Quintessence of Dust

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Taeshan                    9   1   952  802 Q
Al-Mumtaz                  7   4   954  943
Quintessence of Dust       6   4   918  881
Secristan                  6   4   963  905
Tyrrin                     3   7   846  881 E
Mount Kip                  3   7   851  926 E
Royalsoldiers              2   9   902 1048 E

* Quintessence of Dust over Secristan on 2-0 H2H record.
* Tyrrin over Mount Kip on H2H PD (169-164)

Group B
Bisgea 98-112 Newmanistan
Kalasion 89-94 Dancougar
Burchadinger 68-96 Cassadaigua

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Dancougar                  8   2   992  863 Q
Newmanistan                7   3   953  918 Q
Cassadaigua                6   4   938  866
Valladares                 4   6   884  881
Bisgea                     4   6   848  943
Kalasion                   4   7   985  997 E
Burchadinger               3   8   890 1022 E

* Valladares over Bisgea on H2H PD (180-155).

Group C
Warkus 87-100 Sarzonia
Colbaltan 93-83 Delaclava
Shivat 84-76 Qazox

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Sarzonia                   9   1  1040  894 Q
Delaclava                  6   4   921  913 
Shivat                     6   5   975  965
Warkus                     4   6   866  915
Cafundeu                   4   6   857  909
Colbaltan                  4   7   951 1004 E
Qazox                      3   7   939  949 E

* Warkus over Cafundeu on H2H PD (171-170).

Group D
Matschusin 88-113 Tocrowkia
The Fanboyists 98-105 Sibirsky
Dimoniquid 80-97 Swartaz

Team                       W   L    PF   PA
Tocrowkia                  8   2   922  828 Q
Valanora                   6   4   901  871
Dimoniquid                 6   5   968  991
Swartaz                    5   5   882  889
Sibirsky                   5   5   971  932
The Fanboyists             4   7   963  985 E
Matschusin                 2   8   827  938 E

* Swartaz over Sibirsky with 2-0 H2H

[Newmanistan]

“Let me get this straight? You’ve kidnapped us because you want the Rocket Report to stop covering the International Basketball Championships because you have noticed some stupid trend that the team has played better when we haven’t covered a game over when we have?” Reporter Joe Loggins shouted at his captor.

The taller of the three captors, known only as Biggs, took out his gun and smacked the tied up Loggins across the face with it. He pointed it at Brittany and Nick to make sure they would not say anything before declaring, “Yo man you shut the hell up! No one gives a fuck about you and if I have to I will do more then just smack you with this.” Biggs smacks Loggins, this time, with his bear hand and not the gun. Cameraman Cashman, bravely spoke up anyway, “It’s just a coincidence. Like the Pocket Rocket rap song where he talks about “Maggie being his biotch? It’s all Maggie’s doing. Anyway, don’t you think the Rocket Report will just send another crew to the next games?”

“There is no Margaret!” declared Biggs. “It’s a conspiracy! You fools all think that results of games can be decided randomly, well fuck that! There’s something else going on here and you are all to blame! Like we told the coppers, if the Rocket Report covers another game you will all be shot down!” The hostages all rolled their eyes. There was no negotiating with these people, and their lack of faith in Margaret, the Goddess of Scores, demonstrated that they had no comprehension of how the sports world operates.

The second captor, known as High Rolla, walked over to the young Brittany Allison, who’s been quiet this whole time. “Can I?” asked High Rolla of Biggs as he held Brittany by the shoulders, with the appearance that he desired to have his way with her. Joe and Nick feared for their co-worker, but breathed a sigh of relief when Biggs shouted “No!” and pointed his gun at his partner. “You will respect the lady, that’s not why we are doing this. Put her down now! Turn on the news and see if they are talking about us!” Brittany wasn’t sure if she should thank Biggs or not, so she remained quiet as they turned the TV on to see what may be going on with the police search and what kind of overall response they might be getting. They were happy to know that the cops did not seem to have good leads as to their whereabouts at the time and watched random recaps of other IBC games with much interest. For a while they seemed ok with everything until a report of the SFBI getting involved.

“What the hell does Sarzonia have to do with this?” Biggs asked his partners, concerned, “They need to mind their own business!” His partners did not have the answer while the group of reporters were obviously grateful that the SFBI would assist Newmanistanian law enforcement as any outside help is greatly appreciated. The reporters couldn’t be sure of it, but they think the friendships that they established with some Sarzonian media members during the finals of the last International Basketball Championships may have had something to do with it. Perhaps they persuaded the SFBI to get involved. The captors went to discuss this how they should react to this news, and left the reporters there, tied up, but able to watch the game with Bisgea, which was about to tip off.

(OOC: Some foul language, and images portrayed in here that I don’t usually use, so I apologize for that. I don’t believe I have gone overboard with anything based on what I have seen previously in other RP’s in the NS world).

[Warkus]

"Warkus Needs"
Today we will be discussing what our basketball team needs to get back in this championship. Warkus needs better defence, they are too offensive. Warkus needs to back down on the fighting and swearing, children watch basketball. Overall Warkus needs to put in total effort, they are way down and just 1 loss could break them. Unless they really get their act together, and hope that they will bounce back and take this competion by surprise.

[Sarzonia]

After the two SFBI agents showed their passports and flashed their badges, they made their way through the security checkpoints at the airport in Pocono City. They walked over to the rental car counter and showed their identification badges.

"Right this way, sir, madam," the clerk said.

They were shown to a late-model four-door sedan that was painted black, which was exactly what they ordered.

"Hmm, a hybrid," the male agent said with a slight smirk.

"It's an Estrella Triton," the female agent said matter-of-factly. She looked and saw the clerk, who'd shown no change in expression, but she was able to detect a gleam in his eye. She could tell it was a knowing gleam because the vehicle the agents were getting was of Sarzonian manufacture.

They got into the car and drove to the police station. They'd asked for the images from the traffic cameras near the intersection where the collision took place. When they got there and looked, they ran the camera.

The male agent then opened his mobile, pressed a few buttons to encrypt the signal from his phone, then called headquarters.

"You got that GPS on the vehicle? Here's the license number. It appears to be..."

They knew the information they'd get back wasn't guaranteed to be 100 percent accurate, but they hoped they'd find some clues.

"I'll go and see if I can find some witnesses who saw the crash," the female agent said.

"Don't go out there without an escort," one Newmanistanian cop told her.

"Don't worry. I got this," she said.

"She's tough," the male agent told the cop. "All female Sarzonian cops are tough. You'd rather deal with a male cop than a female cop, let me tell you."

[Dancougar]

For whom shall the MD13 cutoff be lucky? Unlucky?

Group A
Secristan 99-114 Tyrrin
Taeshan 85-70 Mount Kip
Quintessence of Dust 95-89 Royalsoldiers

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Taeshan                   10   1   1037  872 Q
Al-Mumtaz                  7   4    954  943
Quintessence of Dust       7   4   1013  970
Secristan                  6   5   1062 1019
Tyrrin                     4   7    960  980 E
Mount Kip                  3   8    921 1011 E
Royalsoldiers              2  10    991 1143 E

* Al-Mumtaz over Quintessence of Dust with 2-0 H2H record.

Group B
Newmanistan 94-77 Valladares
Dancougar 97-68 Bisgea
Cassadaigua 76-96 Kalasion

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Dancougar                  9   2   1089  931 Q
Newmanistan                8   3   1047  995 Q
Cassadaigua                6   5   1014  962 Q
Kalasion                   5   7   1081 1073 E
Valladares                 4   7    961  975 E
Bisgea                     4   7    916 1040 E
Burchadinger               3   8    890 1022 E

* Valladares over Bisgea on H2H PD (180-155).

Group C
Sarzonia 120-79 Cafundeu
Delaclava 81-68 Warkus
Qazox 82-107 Colbaltan

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Sarzonia                  10   1   1160  973 Q
Delaclava                  7   4   1002  981 Q
Shivat                     6   5    975  965 Q
Colbaltan                  5   7   1058 1086 E
Warkus                     4   7    934  996 E
Cafundeu                   4   7    936 1029 E
Qazox                      3   8   1021 1056 E

* Warkus over Cafundeu on H2H PD (171-170).

Group D
Tocrowkia 88-91 Valanora
Sibirsky 74-72 Matschusin
Swartaz 66-100 The Fanboyists

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Tocrowkia                  8   3   1010  919 Q
Valanora                   7   4    992  959
Sibirsky                   6   5   1045 1004
Dimoniquid                 6   5    968  991
Swartaz                    5   6    948  989
The Fanboyists             5   7   1063 1051 E
Matschusin                 2   9    899 1012 E

* Sibirsky over Dimoniquid on H2H PD (218-203).

[Qazox]

At 3-8, with one game remaining, and eliminated, the Qazox Quakes offically forfeit their match against Cafundeu. When asked why; a QIBA (Qazox International Basketball Association) spokesman had this to say:

"Our participation in this event was predicated upon this team reachinbg certain milestones, and as such they were to be paid accordingly. With the dissapointing showing at this years event, the players uniamimously decided to leave this tourney on their own accord, not under the orders or wishes of the QIBA; as such we humbly apologize to Dancougar, the hosts of this event, and Cafundeu, our opponents in the final group stage game. We hope this isolated incident, an incident beyond our control, will not affect Qazox participation in the next IBC. Once again we apologize.

According to a source close to the players, they were told that they were not being paid for this tourney, despite promises that they would be, by QIBA. QIBA reportedly had a contract stating that if the team did not qualify for the knockout rounds, they would not be paid, though the QIBA spokesman refused to comment upon this. The players are going back to Qazox, and a press conference is scheduled for 11:00am QST with the players about this incident.

[Newmanistan]

“Thank you guys for coming, we appreciate all the help we can get in finding these criminals,” said Pocono City Police Department Chief Richard Perry to an agent of the SFBI, who inquired what kind of leads they may have. “What we have is pretty good,” answered Perry, “but not good enough, we have great information on the car they used and the license plate number.”

“Unfortunately,” answer deputy Kenneth Hampton, “the vehicle was abandoned just north of exit 7 on InterEmpire (as opposed to interstate) 3. The vehicle was also stolen outside the This Old Lady retirement home. It’s registered to an 82-year old woman, who has since reported it stolen. Forensics has been all over the vehicle looking for prints, and we have obtained some. We have been able to identify one of the men, his name is Jason Pearle and he is from Dover City. We have searched his last known address but the house is completely vacant. The Dover City police department will continue to monitor the residence.”

“Pearle is better known on the streets as High Rolla.” said Perry. “He was arrested for assault on a bookie in Dover City five years ago when the bookie allegedly pocketed money that Pearle had won on a World Baseball Classic bet that year. He served his time and hadn’t really been in trouble since then. The Dover City police busted a gambling ring shortly after that arrest, but it appears as though he is getting back into that sort of thing. There are several old acquaintances he hung out with who may be interested in cooperating with us for their own benefit so we get to know his whereabouts.” Perry paused to let the SFBI agents get a grasp on this information, before continuing.”

“I think we could best use your help in approaching some of these old ties of Pearle. See what they know, and do some undercover work. Perhaps see if they want to place bets in the Lacrosse final as a way of getting friendly with them. This will help us find out where he may be and who he may be working with. We don’t think he is in Pocono City or Dover City, both would be too obvious. We have reason to believe he is in Riverside. (A small city midway between the two bigger cities.) Meanwhile, I have other agents trying to find out what they may have done after abandoned the vehicle.”

“Sir if I may,” asked deputy Hampton of one SFBI agent, “those are some pretty tough looking people you’ve brought with you. I am grateful that they are on our side!”

A young person appearing to be a secretary walked up to the men, "Rockets beat Valladares. More fuel to the conspiracy theory of the criminals."

[Quintessence of Dust]

Posted on the popular sports blog He's Had An Absolute Holocaust.

D-Day
Posted by ShutItDown

So, the final matchday of group stage play in the International Basketball Championships is upon us. To progress to the playoffs, Quintessence of Dust need a win - or, if they lose, they will have to rely on a Taeshanite side with nothing to play for to beat top-ranked Secristan. With qualification wrapped up in Groups B and C, the only other question surrounds Group D, where five teams are still in the mix. Below are some spotted thoughts on the IBC so far:

Our undersized team was muscled out of it by Al-Mumtaz's dominant frontcourt players - their center grabbed 22 points and 17 rebounds - and 76 points, not helped by Bill Middleton contributed only 10, was never enough. Hanna Kyllönen shot for 22 and had a game high 3 steals on defence. Things were much more evenly matched on receiving R***lsoldiers at home, and Masami Tamagotchi and Winchester Furman both got points-rebounds double-doubles, with 23-11/13-10 respectively. Also important were the bench players: Hanna Kyllönen scored only 7 points but had the best +/- (+11), while Kyösti Kettunen shot 12 points in 18 minutes.

As for favourites, quite simply, there isn't one. The defending champions Newmanistan have, by their own admission, been subpar, and driven to distriction both by off-field activities and on-field Dagan midriffs. The two teams likely to finish with the best records are Sarzonia and Taeshan. They have been dominant, respectively, on offence (Sarzonia the only team to score over 1100 points across 11 games) and defence (Taeshan the only team to concede fewer than 900). But both have demonstrated that they can be beaten.

The home team have performed much better than on some past occasions, but they appear very undersized, occasional surprising bursts of athleticism notwithstanding. By contrast, the tall Dagans have not really dominated and could finish without a winning record. Coming off the backs of their World Bowl victory, Tocrowkian sports teams have much to cheer, but they've faced perhaps the easiest ride in Group D.

The undoubted surprise package has been Al-Mumtaz's mysterious team (who could, incidentally, prove the undoing of Quodite qualification hopes). Also qualifying for the playoffs on their first appearance are Olympic gold medalists Shivat, who could benefit from a move to knockout format in the late stages. At this point, it's anyone's to win - but one thing seems clear: unless something changes dramatically, the IBC trophy is going to change hands at the end of the tournament.

[Sarzonia]

Gladys Merrill walked out to the vehicle and looked around before getting in. She wasn't afraid of the possibility that someone might try to kidnap her, but she wanted to be absolutely sure. She got in the car and drove in the direction of the GPS coordinates.

At a stop light, she read the text message from her male colleague and typed back OK. She then made a turn and drove in the direction provided.

She came upon a simple looking home and parked the car. She walked up and rang the doorbell.

"Uh, yes?" the gruff looking man said answering the door.

"I'm Detective Merrill with the Sarzonian Federal Bureau of Investigations," she said, flashing her badge. "May I come in?"

The man raised an eyebrow, but stepped aside and motioned with his left arm extended and his palm out.

Merrill walked in.

"Mind explaining what you're doing here?" the man said.

"We're helping the Empire's investigation into the kidnapping of three Rockets Report journalists," she said. "We were wondering if you had any information that could help in our investigation.

"Um I'm not sure," the man said.

"Do you know someone by the name of Jason Pearle?"

"Jason Pearle?"

"Also known as High Rolla."

The man drew his breath in and exhaled.

"I know High Rolla," he said. "He stole 1,500 gold coins from my convenience store three years ago."

"I see," Merrill said, writing this down in a notebook she had with her.

"I know someone who says he frequently goes to a dive bar on the east side," the man said. "Here's the address," he said, pulling out a business card and handing it to Merrill. "There's an apartment building across the street from it. It's not a safe neighbourhood."

"Thank you," she said, writing this down.

"That's all I know," he said. "I don't go to that part of town very much."

When she got back in the car, she headed for another address where the person was said to know something about High Rolla.

[Qazox]

QIBA PRESS RELEASE:

Due to international pressure, and despite the loss of our players, Qazox will play Cafundeu with the following lineup, made of QIBA staff members:

PG: John Macha (QIBA Accountant) 5' 4"
SG: James Kendal (QIBA Lawyer) 5' 3"
SF: Denise Lomax (QIBA Lawyer) 5' 4"
PF: Henry Kelley (QIBA Equipment Manager) 5' 6"
C: Issac Aster (QIBA Baggage Handler) 6' 4"

Yes. these are the only QIBA staffers who have evr played basketball. Take pity on them, please.

[Dancougar]

The final RP cutoff of the qualifying stage!

Group A
Secristan 94-91 Taeshan
Quintessence of Dust 94-91 Tyrrin
Al-Mumtaz 86-82 Mount Kip

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Taeshan                   10   2   1128  966
Al-Mumtaz                  8   4   1040 1025
Quintessence of Dust       8   4   1107 1061
Secristan                  7   5   1156 1110
Tyrrin                     4   8   1051 1074
Mount Kip                  3   9   1003 1097
Royalsoldiers              2  10    991 1143

* Al-Mumtaz ahead of Quintessence of Dust with 2-0 H2H record.

Group B
Newmanistan 107-102 Dancougar
Cassadaigua 93-92 Valladares
Burchadinger 60-66 Bisgea

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Newmanistan                9   3   1154 1097
Dancougar                  9   3   1191 1038
Cassadaigua                7   5   1107 1054
Kalasion                   5   7   1081 1073
Bisgea                     5   7    982 1100
Valladares                 4   8   1053 1068
Burchadinger               3   9    950 1088

* Newmanistan ahead of Dancougar with 2-0 H2H record.
* Kalasion ahead of Bisgea on H2H PD (177-167).

Group C
Sarzonia 85-106 Delaclava
Qazox 111-90 Cafundeu
Shivat 97-86 Warkus

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Sarzonia                  10   2   1245 1079
Delaclava                  8   4   1108 1066
Shivat                     7   5   1072 1051
Colbaltan                  5   7   1058 1086
Warkus                     4   8   1020 1093
Qazox                      4   8   1132 1146
Cafundeu                   4   8   1026 1140

* H2H record: Warkus 3-1,  Qazox 2-2, Cafundeu 1-3

Group D
Tocrowkia 80-87 Sibirsky
Swartaz 79-76 Valanora
Dimoniquid 89-95 Matschusin

Team                       W   L     PF   PA
Tocrowkia                  8   4   1090 1006
Sibirsky                   7   5   1132 1084
Valanora                   7   5   1068 1038
Dimoniquid                 6   6   1057 1086
Swartaz                    6   6   1027 1065
The Fanboyists             5   7   1063 1051
Matschusin                 3   9    994 1101

* Sibirsky ahead of Valanora on overall PD (H2H tied 165-165).
* Dimoniquid ahead of Swartaz on overall PD (H2H tied 171-171).

Information about the finals and Best of Rest tournament to follow...

[Dancougar]

For the final round draw, teams were divided into pots based on their overall record and point differential, with all group winners going into Pot A, second into Pot B, and third into Pot C. Two teams are draw from each pot to create two six-team groups. Single round-robin play will determine which four teams -- the top two in each group -- advance to the semifinals.

FINAL ROUND DRAW           W   L     PF   PA   PD      
Sarzonia                  10   2   1245 1079 +166
Taeshan                   10   2   1128  966 +162   Pot
Newmanistan                9   3   1154 1097  +57    A
Tocrowkia                  8   4   1090 1006  +84      
Dancougar                  9   3   1191 1038 +153
Delaclava                  8   4   1108 1066  +42   Pot
Al-Mumtaz                  8   4   1040 1025  +15    B
Sibirsky                   7   5   1132 1084  +48      
Quintessence of Dust       8   4   1107 1061  +46
Cassadaigua                7   5   1107 1054  +53   Pot
Valanora                   7   5   1068 1038  +30    C
Shivat                     7   5   1072 1051  +21      

GROUP A: Taeshan, Sarzonia, Al-Mumtaz, Sibirsky, Valanora, Quintessence of Dust
GROUP B: Tocrowkia, Newmanistan, Dancougar, Delaclava, Shivat, Cassadaigua

MD15 (Feb 1): 1v2, 3v4, 5v6
MD16 (Feb 2): 1v3, 2v5, 4v6
MD17 (Feb 3): 1v4, 2v6, 3v5
MD18 (Feb 4): 1v5, 2v4, 3v6
MD19 (Feb 5): 1v6, 2v3, 4v5
MD20 (Feb 7): Semifinals (Best of Three: A1 v B2, A2 v B1)
MD21 (Feb 8 ): Semifinals (Best of Three: A1 v B2, A2 v B1)
MD22 (Feb 9): Semifinals (Best of Three: A1 v B2, A2 v B1)
MD23 (Feb 10): Finals (Best of Three)
MD24 (Feb 11): Finals (Best of Three)
MD25 (Feb 12): Finals (Best of Three)

---

A similar process was done for the Best of the Rest tournament, although only one team was drawn from each of four pots to create four groups of four. Single-round robin play will determine which four teams -- group winners at this stage -- advance to the semifinals.

BEST OF REST DRAW          W   L     PF   PA   PD            
Secristan                  7   5   1156 1110  +46
Dimoniquid                 6   6   1057 1086  -29   Pot
Kalasion                   5   7   1081 1073   +8    D
Colbaltan                  5   7   1058 1086  -28      
Swartaz                    6   6   1027 1065  -38
Bisgea                     5   7    982 1100 -118   Pot
Tyrrin                     4   8   1051 1074  -23    E
Warkus                     4   8   1020 1093  -73      
The Fanboyists             5   7   1063 1051  +12
Qazox                      4   8   1132 1146  -14   Pot
Valladares                 4   8   1053 1068  -15    F
Mount Kip                  3   9   1003 1097  -94      
Cafundeu                   4   8   1026 1140 -114
Matschusin                 3   9    994 1101 -107   Pot
Burchadinger               3   9    950 1088 -138    G
Royalsoldiers              2  10    991 1143 -152      

GROUP C: Secristan, Warkus, The Fanboyists, Matschusin
GROUP D: Colbaltan, Bisgea, Mount Kip, Cafundeu
GROUP E: Kalasion, Tyrrin, Qazox, Royalsoldiers
GROUP F: Dimoniquid, Swartaz, Valladares, Burchadinger

MD15 (Feb 1): 1v2, 3v4
MD16 (Feb 2): 1v3, 2v4
MD17 (Feb 3): 1v4, 2v3
MD18 (Feb 4): Semifinals (Single Game: C1 v D1, E1 v F1)
MD19 (Feb 5): Final (Single Game)

---

Dancougar will be using several different venues for the tournament, including major arenas, college facilities, and one football/gridiron stadium.


King Daniel III Athletic Center
Capacity: 19,000
Location: Yuki City
Hosts: Group A, Semifinal A1 v B2
Description: Originally constructed to host the first IBC tournament, the arena has aged gracefully and has seen many upgrades over the years, as it has seen heavy use for college games and tournaments. It is located west of downtown near the campus of the University of Dancougar, which is its main tenant, meaning that there are plenty of small eateries and bars to be found within walking distance. Being in the capital also means visiting fans have easy access to many monuments and museums detailing Dancougar's glorious history... and its intern outsourcing agencies, if you need fresh victims.


Peterson Events Center
Capacity: 16,500
Location: Stoneridge
Hosts: Group B, Semifinal A2 v B1
Description: Welcome to blue collar Dancougar; the city of Stoneridge sits at the confluence of the Mugen and Gilderome Rivers and one boasted the highest industrial output of the nation. Things have settled down since then, but the Events Center is part of its urban renaissance. The arena is the centerpiece of an entertainment district which also abuts some shadier areas of town, so travellers should be wary of walking alone at night.


Leonard Sweetwater Arena
Capacity: 17,500
Location: Port Royal
Hosts: Group C, Group D, Best of Rest Semifinal C1 v D1, Best of Rest Final
Description: Located at the waterfront of this eastern port city, the arena, named after the man who brought basketball to Port Royal University, is within walking distance of many of the city's prime nightlife destinations. Transportation within the city and to neighboring Eastport, just across the Kishin River, is provided through the Metropolitan East Transportation Authority (META). The historic docks are also a popular tourist attraction.


City of Eastport Athletic Center
Capacity: 17,000
Location: Eastport
Hosts: Group E, Group F, Best of Rest Semifinal E1 v F1, Best of Rest Final
Description: This arena is located farther inland than its neighbor across the river in Port Royal, so it does not share the same scenic view. Eastport has long had the worst reputation of the two cities for not being as modern or hip, and it's taking slow strides to catch up. There's far less to do around here than across the river, but thanks to public transportation, that hardly matters. Expect more discounts on this side, though, as Eastport attempts to keep tourists dollars from leaving.


Kirk Patrick Lockhart (KPL) Arena
Capacity: 61,000
Location: Kildare
Hosts: Finals
Description: Originally built a few years ago for the Sporting Kildare D-League franchise, the organizers' ambitious plans to stage a basketbal game there were tested during the college season and approved for use in the IBC final. Located southwest of Port Royal in the same state of Juusenkitai, the arena's roof will be closed and a court erected at field level. Organizers are hoping that the novelty of playing basketball in a football stadium will draw fans both domestically and from abroad in an attempt to give the game and tournament extra exposure. It's a plan which will certainly test Kildare's logistics, as the city has a much less-developed transport and hotel infrastructure.

[Qazox]

The QIBA staffers stunned Cafundeu 111-90, as Henry Kelley, the team;s equipment manager scored a Qazox record 43 points as he went 7-9 from 3 point land, and went 11-13 on FT. Also a suprise was the 20 points from Denise Lomax, the first woman to play for the Qazox team.

So despite the rough outing, QIBA will send a team to IBC Seven, whereever it is. But the real question is why did QIBA refuse to play the players, and who was behind it?

[Quintessence of Dust]

Posted on the In Brief section of the QBS website.

New challenges, old challenges

The Quodite national basketball team has made the playoffs of the IBC despite their amateur status, thanks to a heroic 16 point comeback against Tyrrin. With Secristan beating Taeshan and al-Mumtaz winning against Mount Kip victory was crucial, and very small forward Masami Tamagotchi led with 29. Substitute guard Hanna Kyllönen hit a 30 foot jumper to claim victory after Tamagotchi's driving dunk drew the teams level with 20 seconds to play, and Kyösti Kettunen then recovered a defensive rebound and quickly got the ball to the team's best three point shooter.

Captain/coach Bill Middleton was nonplussed after the game, however. "Like your mom, this game had a good end," he said, "But I think a certain amount of drama was always inevitable. Honestly, did you really think we'd give up the obligatory buzzer-beater RP if we had the chance?" He nonetheless praised Kyllönen's game winning shot: "Unlike your mom, I'm not sure I'd have been able to hit that."

However, there will be some familiar faces in the playoffs as the team has been drawn into the same group as both Taeshan and al-Mumtaz. Middleton thanked home supporters in Quintessence of Dust, few of whom are expected to be able to make the trip to Dancougar, but said going on the road would be an exciting challenge. "It's lucky we're not in the Black Wings' group, at least: gives us a sporting chance of getting the crowd on our side," he said at a press conference while sporting an "I <3 ROBOTS" t-shirt.

However, the group draw also puts the tournament's two strongest teams - Taeshan and Sarzonia - in Group A. "We'll definitely have our work cutout to make the semis," said Middleton. "It's not going to be easy. Unlike your mom."

[Sarzonia]

Somehow, Sarzonian national teams have gotten used to the idea of being placed in Groups of Death.

That trend continued here as the Stars were drawn in Group A of the International Basketball Championships with fellow top team Taeshan. Quintessence of Dust and Valanora were the other teams that immediately caught the Stars eyes.

"Taeshan went 10-2 like we did," coach Henry West said. "And we have to open with that team. Our backs will be to the wall."

Their backs are definitely to the wall after Delaclava defeated the Stars 106-85 in the final match of qualifying at The Palestra. Guard Chris Draden said the Sarzonian supporters booing the team "wasn't right."

However, point guard Brandon Collins had a different opinion.

"If I were in the stands, I'd boo me too."

West said the result gave the Stars "a bloody wake up call.

"That may turn out for the better for us," he said. "If we win all our matches, perhaps we go into the group stage with a big head. Now we can't after that pasting in front of our home supporters."

Draden conceded that Delaclava "are a very good side.

"They're not a team you can afford to take lightly," he added. "We saw that in Catherina and we saw that in Woodstock. Now we're going to have to do what we can to make it to Yuki City."

*************************************************************************

Matt Linville grimaced as he read the reports coming in from Merrill. The male half of the SFBI agent pair wasn't getting anything solid yet. At least not solid enough to find a specific place to bust down the door of and spring the reporters.

However, what he was getting was leading them to a general vicinity of Pocono City. That at least narrowed down where he and Merrill were looking. As for Merrill, she happened upon a house in a swanky neighbourhood of Pocono City and knocked on the door.

"This is the McAllister residence," what looked like a butler answered as he opened the door.

"Detective Merrill, Sarzonian Federal Bureau of Investigations," Merrill said, flashing her badge.

"Merrill?" The butler asked. "Are you related to Chris Merrill?"

"Who?" Gladys asked before she suddenly realised who he was talking about.

"Not that I know of," she said, briefly snapping from her gruff demeanor at the thought of the team that just fell short of glory in the long-delayed Di Bradini Cup. She then snapped back to reality.

"We're investigating the recent abduction of three Rockets Report journalists," Gladys said. "We were wondering if you had any leads into the whereabouts of Jason Pearle, also known as High Rolla."

All of a sudden, a ruggedly handsome man appeared behind his butler with a startled look on his face.

"We don't even know who that is," said the man, who would later identify himself as Jeremy McAllister, Sr. "However, I saw a group of three people being led across InterEmpire 16* headed to the east side of the city." He pointed in the direction where the highway was, then pointed in the direction where he saw the group being led.

"I couldn't really make out what it looked like, but it was unusual."

Merrill took down the notes and then texted the message with maximum encryption to Linville. When Linville saw the text, he turned to Perry.

"We got another lead," he said. "From a rather ... famous source." He showed the text message to Perry, whose eyes widened.

"That can't be!" he said. "THE Jeremy McAllister?"

"Apparently," he said.

After a few more minutes of general questions, Merrill left the house and was on her way.

*OOC: That's the highway number that first came to mind for me. If you have another more appropriate highway number, let me know and I'll change it to that.

[Newmanistan]

“The Fanboyists is favored by a goal and a half, give me 500 gold coins on Dancougar,” said a man into his phone before screaming, “Yes of course I mean 500 grand, what do you think I am some rookie gambler?!” He slams down the phone just as the door bell rings, he goes to answer.

“I’m Detective Merrill with the SFBI.” (Flashes badge) “May I come in?”

The man has no idea why this women would want to his East Side apartment, but allows it. “Saaarr-zoniia? What’s this about?”

The detective looks around and tries to calm the man down and let him know he is not in trouble, she notices the list of gambling odds concerning the Fanboyists-Dancougar lacrosse final, “Some game that lacrosse, who do you think will win?”

“Dancougar,” the man answers, getting more calm in her presence. The detective gets to the point with the man and gets a valuable piece of information about High Rolla having a friend in Riverside that he has hung out with in the last few years and that the two of them still like to serve as bookies. He himself told the detective that he stopped using their services six months ago when he did not receive his winnings after wagering on a domestic baseball game. She collects every bit of infomation she can before leaving. The detective did not answer his question about why she came to ask him these questions,

Meanwhile, various police agencies throughout Newmanistan have begun to work together and are slowly piecing together the puzzle. Information about a Riverside connection was great news for them.

“We have a great lead, none other then Jeremy McAllister has provided us information about another vehicle that was used, here is the information I gathered! What are the odds that Jeremy would provide such helpful information!” shouted Merrill to PCPD Chief Richard Perry, though she was caught off-guard as the authorities briefly laughed.

“That guy again. He’s nice and all, but he’s not really Jeremy McAllister. He changed his name when he was 20 and has become an impersonator. J-Mac doesn’t live in Pocono City, he lives in Putnam Lake (OOC: which would be like New York- California, distance wise), and in Lakeport, Dancougar. Plus he is probably still in The Babbage Islands right now. The guy in Pocono Village you saw is known for doing stuff like this, he craves attention. But the information, it doesn’t matter who it came from, it should be investigated. We still believe they are in Riverside.”



(At the unknown location)

“You all see how da Rockets have been playing since we have tied you up! Three and oh see I told you there is no Margaret!” shouted Biggs to Joe Loggins.

“Sir, how much longer is this going to go on for? You’ve made your point. Just let us go. I am sure the police are on to you by now and are getting closer and closer to this location.”

High Rolla emerges from another room screaming in celebration, “Dancougar wins! Secristan out! Cha-ching!” We just have to pay out 600 grand in winnings for the Dancougar lacrosse game but that’s nothin we can cover it. Secristan eliminated in basketball, none of those scumbags collect anything! Yeahh booyyyy!!!” But Biggs had even more good news, Petrados whipped Newmanistan in the Svoboda Cup final, Rockets cant cover spread, we don’t got shit to pay out there either.”

“Brittany, I have a job for you if you are up for it.” Biggs said before changing his tune, “Well, you will be up for it.” (Points gun at her). Brittany naturally fears the worst, only to be led to a desk. “Sit in the chair. Call these people and use that sexy voice of yours to convince them to place money on the Rockets not to cover the spread. And don’t do anything stupid.”

Biggs turns on the TV and listens to the reports that the police feel they have narrowed their location down. He laughs, “Ha! They think we’re in Riverside. It’s gonna be a long way to go for you people so you better behave.”

[Taeshan]

X Island Inquirer

Well so far it has been a great season and from here on out it only gets better. After failing to make it to the final four last season during a cinderella seaosn the Purple Knights have turned the offense on this year and have only lost 2 on there way to winning their group by a substantial margin. At 10-2 they are tied for the second highest coming into the second group stage with Sarzonia and will look to make it at least to the semifinals this year. The rest of their round two group will comprise of Al Mumatz, Valanora, Sbirisky and Quintessence of Dust in Dancougar.

They couls very well be out if they lose more then one game in this round so they will need to work very hard and unlike last year luck will probalbly not be on their side so look for some high scoring action in this second round. There main opponents for the 2 semi-finals spot will be Sarzonia, nad an opening night match will be the start for them so a big game will start the campaign. IOf they can get past them they will have a very good chance of making it farther, but they will still have very tough competition from the rest of this interesting group.

[Quintessence of Dust]

Posted on the website of The New Cleethorpes Enquirer Magazine. And after complaining about everyone else having one track minds...

Baseball, hangovers, college tail distract from playoffs preparation

YUKI CITY (DAN.) -- Just days after a fairytale conclusion to their qualification run saw Quintessence of Dust's first (recognisably human) national basketball team make the playoffs of the International Basketball Championships, their prospects have taken a dip, leading to major national sports figures to speak out over the lack of preparation and resources made available to them. "I think it's a legitimate concern," said Alfred Cynus, former Secretary of Sport, from Sao Jorge, Cafundeu, where he is part of a small group of athletes from the Quodite delegation to the Fifth Winter Olympics who have travelled early to the Olympic Village. "They clearly don't have the support structure most national teams do."

While Quintessence of Dust is well known for furnishing international sport teams with administrative and support staff that frequently outnumber athletes by 3 to 1 - including a commitment to slightly ditzy administrative interns that would mark them out for ridicule in any country other than Dancougar - the basketball team's support supplied by the Department of Sport and National Minor Sports Federation has been limited to three dogeared copies of Make My Day, Dunk! magazine from the 1980s, a motivational Whale Noise CD, a complimentary cheese selection, and two Risotto Hut vouchers.

Player/captain/coach Bill Middleton has not helped matters by missing every single practice, instead remaining in his darkened hotel room during the day recovering from what MNSF spokesperson Kerttu Grönholm labelled the team's "regrettable" proximity to the women's dorms at the University of Dancougar. Meanwhile, she said the events that led to the team's three physicists and eight fourth-string cheerleaders from the UoD being found trying to stage an impromptu rave in the Museum of Administrative SNAFUs are "under review".

But perhaps the most damaging blow to Quodite hopes has been the decision of very small forward Masami Tamagotchi to leave the squad, returning to New Cleethorpes to enter training with the national baseball team ahead of the World Baseball Classic. While basketball remains a fringe event, baseball's popularity has rocketed to eclipse everything other than ice hockey in recent years, and the WBC14 is being touted as second only to the coming Olympics in terms of national anticipation.

"My priority has always been baseball. I retired from football to give my club and my country my all, and while playing in the IBC has been an enjoyable experience, now I have to concentrate on what's important," said Tamagotchi. "I certainly don't mean to leave the team in the lurch, but these days the international sport calendar is so densely packed that this kind of clash is just unavoidable." She said she would be eager to return to international basketball if future opportunities arise, however. "It's been a lot of fun."

Ahead of tonight's showdown with Valanora, all eyes will be on the dynamic duo of guards Middleton and Hanna Kyllönen, who will have to lead the offence without Tamagotchi's presence. "I think how the two of them play together is going to be key," said Brian Gobbleson, veteran QBS commentator. "But we have a decent rivalry with Valanora through our ice hockey encounters, so expect all four travelling Quodite supporters to be very vocal, and look out for a few elbows."

When approached for a comment on this article, Mr Middleton refused to leave the mattress castle he had constructed in his hotel bathroom, but did issue a few croaky groans, and was reported by second hand sources as noting that "those college girls do not mess about".

[Dancougar]

Apologies to all involved, but the IBC schedule is being pushed back a day. Normally I don't mind scoring this late at night, except I spent all weekend at a convention center doing a lot of not sleeping, and I'm going to be sooooo dead at work tomorrow if I don't tap out, like, now.

[Dancougar]

When suddenly, the RP cutoff. Tables after matchday 16; tiebreakers will remain the same as in the qualifying stage.

Group A
Taeshan 85-104 Sarzonia
Al-Mumtaz 83-89 Sibirsky
Valanora 92-95 Quintessence of Dust

Group B
Tocrowkia 94-105 Newmanistan
Dancougar 103-90 Delaclava
Shivat 76-75 Cassadaigua

Group C
Secristan 90-71 Warkus
The Fanboyists 99-78 Matschusin

Group D
Colbaltan 85-56 Bisgea
Mount Kip 82-84 Cafundeu

Group E
Kalasion 76-97 Tyrrin
Qazox 103-79 Royalsoldiers

Group F
Dimoniquid 87-97 Swartaz
Valladares 89-81 Burchadinger