The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Eireann Fae]

"Kelly!" Rowan exclaims, upon hearing the 'friendly', familiar voice. She smiles as the woman berates some poor bastard over the phone, and laughs out loud after the call when Ambassador Leveret chastised her on her swearing. Clearly this woman had not been in the Festering Snakepit for long, and had never seen Rowan's friend and colleague Alexandra take the floor.

"Fuck her," the child says, grinning, as she takes a seat next to Mrs. Rodriguez and accepts her Green Vesper from Neville, courtesy of the Mesogirian government. Rowan rarely swore, striving for impeccable politeness in her dealings, and on the other side of Kelly, Alex chuckled at her young friend's little joke.

"Thanks, Kelly," says Alexandra, raising her tumbler of spiced rum. "Always a pleasure to see you on our end, but it sounds like you don't wanna be here much at all. What happened?"

[Araraukar]

OOC: Personally I've nothing against swearing when a person is really annoyed, but it seemed so excessive and without any cause that I had Janis comment on it.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Rowan!" said Rodriguez, the gin of recognition finally dispelling her murderous glare. "I... well, I can't say I wasn't expecting to see you, but... hang on, there's no good way to finish that sentence." The Ambassador got outside of another redeye, hiccuped, and tried again.

"It's good to see you, even if it sucks to be here. As for what happened..." she glowered in a non-specific direction, "I am, literally, the only person currently qualified to be a delegate to the WA. When we left last time, some sub-intellect in State burned the old training manuals on the grounds we'd never need them again. Since the President was re-elected on an 'international engagement' platform, they're ramping up diplomatic missions all over: extra consuls, embassy staff, and God listen to me jabber."

"Tee-ell, dee-arr, under the regulations, I'm the only one who's trained to be a WA delegate, aside from Battlesmere, and so I'm here until some poor Undersecretary somewhere can write a new training manual."

[Eireann Fae]

"Shit sucks," says Alexandra, nodding solemnly. The adolescent slams her drink and orders another.

"If there is anything we can do, let us know," offers young Rowan after a sip of her Vesper. "You have always been a good friend throughout my tenure here, and if there is any way to repay the favour, I intend to do just that."

"How's the family?" asks Alex.

[Discoveria]

What is about to be said is very very very IC and should not be considered an attack on anyone.

"The m***erf***ing plagarising son of a b*tch!!!!!!" Special Ambassador Max Schneider's voice can be heard loudly and cleary inside the bar before he storms inside. "I'll kick him in the nuts! The bastard! I spent sleepless nights on that repeal! And not to have some wine growing prick steal it from me!" With these words, he grabs the first beer he sees and drinks it up (although it isn't his). He then proceeds to the bar to order another one. His eyes wander across the room until they meet his boss - Chancellor Iris Jorgsen. Suddenly, Max seems a lot calmer and a smile comes across his face. He takes his beer and sits down next to her.

"What was all that about, Max?" The Chancellor asks with a little smile
"Somebody took our repeal, reworded it and submitted it."
"Well that's not a nice thing to do."
"You don't say?!"
Frustration creeps up again in Max. He takes the orchid and hurls it out of a nearby window. Iris places her hand on his shoulder.
"Come on Max, there's nothing you can do about it at the moment. Just hope it fails to reach quorum and have a drink with me!"
"How could I say no to that?"
"And maybe later...." she leans towards him and whispers something in his ear. Max is smiling again, but this time it's a very big smile.
"You know, I've actually missed you"
"I thought so!" Iris winks at Max

Jack Durkheim, the Utopian Commonwealth's representative in the Stonewall Alliance, entered the bar shortly after Special Ambassador Schneider began his rant. He made his way across to where Matthew was sitting, and they shared a brief kiss before Jack remarked, "What's going on with the Louisistan ambassador?"

"Schneider?" said Matthew. "He's just incensed that another delegation tried to short-cut his repeal with a draft of their own. There are allegations of plagiarism too, but I'm not too convinced of that myself."

"He needs to take the WA a little less seriously," Jack said, "'cause one of these days, the sheer frustration of the lemming-voters and the inane proposals and everything else will get to him, and he'll defenestrate himself just like that. That's what happened to-"

"I know," said Matthew. "Don't remind me, or I might just join Max in plunging to my doom. But at least I won't be landing in the middle of a garden filled with nineteen-thousand statues of people no-one cares about. And no-one will hinder the first responders attending to us. And the Discoverian WA Office won't be secretly profiting from insurance against my death."

"It's a mad world," Jack agreed. "Good thing we're only 'improving' it one resolution at a time..."

[Siu Ming]

A woman with a beribboned hairbun on each side of her head and a suit that looks like it was designed by committee wanders in. "Let's see, the Chief wanted a bourbon and a pizza...Here's hoping he likes the cheap stuff. Delegation budgets..."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Shit sucks," says Alexandra, nodding solemnly. The adolescent slams her drink and orders another.

"If there is anything we can do, let us know," offers young Rowan after a sip of her Vesper. "You have always been a good friend throughout my tenure here, and if there is any way to repay the favour, I intend to do just that."

"How's the family?" asks Alex.

"I appreciate that, but unless you're impossibly good at murdering, or have the power to bend both time and space to your imperial will, I'm not sure you can help. Appreciated all the same though."

At the mention of family, Rodriguez finally and completely perked up.

"Ellen and the kids are great! I did foul, bureaucratic things to get the housing and domestic expenses bills tagged along with my bar tab under the Air Force budget, so they should be following me here sooner or later, on the country's dime. Kids are growing like weeds..."

She smiled some more, and leaned in conspiratorially.

"Ellen and I, we've been thinking about... you know, having some more of our own... together..."

[Retired WerePenguins]

Three small penguins walk into the bar.

"So where's the bossman," one of them asks.
"He's somewhere on a tropical island, trying to get married," the second one replied.
The third penguin, holding a small cellphone, cursed. "The Islanders just beat the Penguins!"
"I'm sure James will do fine on that island, he's an expert in surviving," the second one replied.
"I think she is talking about Hockey," the first one says with a sigh. Turning to the bartender, she orders a large sake and three small cups.

[Eireann Fae]

"Hah!" exclaims Alex, in apparent approval of how Kelly covers her cost of living. "Not as simple as our use of Earth Faeries to provide us with gold for these silly currency-using cultures, but far more devious. I like it! Also, if you're serious about that murdering thing..." Rowan rolls her eyes at the teen's offer. Alexandra had done some time as a child soldier before escaping to Eireann Fae, and still did the occasional clandestine mission to seek out and safe refugees, but such actions were hardly diplomatic of her.

"Anyway," the child interjects before her companion can elaborate. "How will that work, you and Ellen having a child? Can Mesogiria work some genetic magick, or will there have to be a third party involved? Whatever the case, I wish you both the best of luck, and the happiest future your Air Force can provide." The girl grins at the Mesogirian government's expense.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Well, it'sh a lil' complucated," said Rodriguez, and the third redeye started to hit home. "It's, like, not a thing that works out too often, elves and humansh. Chromosomes don't play nice, er sumethin'. You could, like, put our DNA in a jar an', like, mix it up, but that'sh hella expensive, and most places won't do it fer liability reasons."

She hiccuped pleasantly, and invited the two girls to come closer, to partake of an even deeper secret.

"It'sh much more likely to work with opposite-sex elf-human pairs..." and the Ambassador giggled. "An' Ellen... she says if we're gunna do it that way... it'sh gotta be Battlesmere." She giggled again, and turned a mild shade of pink.

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan blushes with Ambassador Rodriquez, but Alexandra's curiosity is piqued. "Ooooerrr," she purrs, winking at Kelly. "And what does 'Thorny' think of this little plan? Would you be down for that threesome?"

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Oh," she said, surprised. Then "Oh," intrigued. And, finally, "Oh," embarrassed. If she had been pink before, Rodriguez was red now.

"I didn't- I mean, I did, a little- But not-" she protested, hopelessly. "Oh dear," she gave up, head in hands.

[Eireann Fae]

Rowan, blushing deeper, smiles into her glass as she drains her Vesper. She signals for another as Alexandra places a hand on the woman's shoulder. "There now," the teen says, in a maternal tone that somehow doesn't seem mocking, "if you're worried about performance anxiety, I can hook up with you and Ellen and get yall acclimated to a third party." Now it's Rowan's turn to bury her face in her hands, hiding the deep crimson her normally pale complexion had taken on as Alexandra made so direct an offer. The elder girl seems dead serious about the offer, but it can sometimes be hard to tell with her...

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Um, well, that's, er, that is," Rodriguez stammered. This just kept getting more awkward. Interest, embarrassment, and a squirmy feeling in the pit of her stomach were busily fighting it out for control.

"I... I don't know? This is... weird. No, wait, you're not weird, you're really nice, it's just..." and she shrugged helplessly. "I don't even know what to say." She put her head down, looking into her drink. "It's already weird enough, thinking about Ellen and Thronic... you know... I can't decide if it would be better or worse if I were there... Is this, er, something you've, um... before, you know...?"

[Eireann Fae]

"Not yet," Alexandra replied, looking down at Kelly's drink. She smiles a devious little smile and moves her eyes up to meet the Mesogirian's. "I'm always down for something new, though. Sounds like fun, monage y traws."

"Ménage à trois," chimes in Rowan, accepting a third round from Jimmy with a shy smile. "It is French for-"

"I know what it means!" replies Alex, her eyes darting to playfully glare at Rowan before returning to Kelly. "By the way, there's nothin' wrong with 'weird'. Life without weirdness sounds boring as hell to me," she continues, lowering her voice to a near whisper, "I like to keep things interesting. Barkeep!" the teenager cries suddenly, slamming her tumbler on the bar. "More rum, if you would be so kind, and another redeye for the lady!" Alex smiles once more at Kelly, her hazel eyes sparkling like gems against the honeyed backdrop of her smooth skin. "She's got some loosening up to do."

"Not all of us could pull off your planned WorldVision^† performance with a straight face, Alex," chides Rowan, blushing again before hiding her face in her drink.

"It ain't easy bein' sexy," replies the teen with a wink. Her routine for the upcoming concert would be controversial, to say the least. Thinking on the matter gives Alex an idea. After thanking Jimmy for the newly arrived drinks, she turns her attention back to Kelly, staring deep into the woman's eyes. "You should come to the concert. Could be fun, and I can give you a little preview of what I offer. The host hasn't even been chosen yet, so it's probably still a week or two away, but as soon as the venue is set I can try to get you some tickets. Ellen, too. Mary Jane can watch the little ones."

^† Referring to this RP event. Not gonna divulge the whole act here, but you can probably get the gist of it ;-)

[Louisistan]

An aide of the Louisistanian Delegation enters and walks towards Schneider. "He didn't reach quorum, Sir. Ours is now the only repeal for GAR #237 awaiting approval." - "Gerald, can't you see the ambassador is busy?" asks the chancellor, while still staring into Max' eyes. The young man leaves, confused. "So Max... I hear your office is ... right upstairs?"
The two get up and walk up the staircase which directly connects Max' office to the bar.

[Riysa]

The Riysian Delegate, Ambassador Zephyr Kaiser, entered the bar. Fiddiling a little with his coat, he took off his fedora and glanced at this unusual place; he hadn't heard of the WASB until today, and had been wanting to see how intriguing it was. Deciding that, after a long day, something to drink would be nice, he walked up to the counter. "Hello, what kind of beverages are available here? Especially non-alcoholic?"

[Potted Plants United]

The small unobtrusive cactus was following what discussions it could, because humanoid mating rituals were a continuous source of puzzlement for the hivemind, and it had been instructed to relay any information it could, on the matter. With more people coming in, it had lost track of the orchid, but maybe the intruder plant could be spotted once its eyebuds were finished. It would take at least another full day, even though all energy not spent on minimum survival, was now directed in their growth.

[Discoveria]

The small unobtrusive cactus was following what discussions it could, because humanoid mating rituals were a continuous source of puzzlement for the hivemind, and it had been instructed to relay any information it could, on the matter. With more people coming in, it had lost track of the orchid, but maybe the intruder plant could be spotted once its eyebuds were finished. It would take at least another full day, even though all energy not spent on minimum survival, was now directed in their growth.

"The Bar seems to have a few more plants and things in it than the last time I came here," said Jack. "Didn't realise Neville was into cactuses. Bit of an odd place to put one though- wait, is the pot moving?"

"Where?" asked Matthew. "That thing? ... I can't quite see from here. You probably just need your eyes tested again."

"Whatever," Jack said. "I swear the whole pot just wobbled a bit. It's creepy, I tell you. And that poor diplomat who got eaten by a sentient plant - just horrible," he shuddered.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"Umm, well, it's not that weird is bad... today's just been strange, kinda a see-saw thing here." Her own voice was low. "From the worst posting ever to getting hook-up offers from diplomat teenagers... kinda a lot for one day. You're really nice, though... but, like, I know you guys," and she made a vague gesture that seemed to encompass Rowan, Alex, and their entire society, "Have your own ideas about sex... but this'd be more than a mite scandalous back home." And then she snorted, and shook her head. "Says the woman married to an elf."

Rodriguez's blush had made it up to her ears now, and the effect was actually a little cute. This Alex girl, was giving Kelly an uncomfortably warm feeling at the base of her stomach, but whether that was the drink or not, it was hard to tell.

"A concert that shows... what kind of concert is this?" she asked, a little intrigued despite herself.

[Araraukar]

"Whatever," Jack said. "I swear the whole pot just wobbled a bit. It's creepy, I tell you. And that poor diplomat who got eaten by a sentient plant - just horrible," he shuddered.

OOC: The person eaten was a diplomat's aide, and the plant wasn't sentient yet - it was quite probably the fact that it ate a sentient being that kicked the hivemind into sentience.

IC: "You think that's horrible?" Janis said, nursing her orange juice sullenly. "Imagine sharing your office with that plant, and then being told you're not allowed to get drunk! Fortunately the plant applied for nation status and we got a new office..."

[Eireann Fae]

"Sorry," says Alex, smiling sweetly. "From being born in a nation that conscripts child soldiers to escaping to a nation that cherishes absolute freedom, even amongst its youth, I sometimes forget that such a proposition would be inappropriate to most foreigners. I like you, Kelly, but I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt you, even socially or politically."

"Only physically," quips Rowan, winking at Rodriguez, "and only if you like it like that."

Alexandra blushes at the joke, her honey-hued skin taking on a pretty rose colour at her cheeks. "But seriously," the teen continues, "I get it. I don't know about Mesogiria in particular, but some places probably would sign a death warrant over such a thing. If I cost you your job, we wouldn't be able to have these delightful conversations, and then where would we be? But still," Alex leans forward to whisper softly into Kelly's ear, "you're very pretty when you blush."

Rowan giggles at her friend's antics, then remembers the question about the concert. "WorldVision is an event where dozens of nations compete to put on the best musical show. There is a different host for every nation, and the host is decided democratically before each event. Each nation is allowed one act, including the hosts. Alex and I have represented Eireann Fae in the last two concerts, along with another friend in the most recent one. This time around, Alex is doing a solo show, and it is... well..."

Alexandra finishes the girl's statement as Rowan nervously sips at her Vesper, "Interesting."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

It was like being back at school, getting drunk and being hit on by underclassmen. Rodriguez enjoyed that, rather a lot. That feeling probably went a long way towards helping her calm down.

"It's not me that would have a problem with it," she said, a little hesitantly. "It'd just be... something people would whisper about, since you're like ten years younger than me. Not that anyone would ever have to find out, the paparazzi seem pretty neutered around here..." she trailed off, grinning a little.

"And you're not so bad looking yerself," she giggled, tapping Alex on the nose playfully. That was more than a little provocative in Mesogirian society, but she probably didn't know that. "Sounds like I'd like seeing this 'concert.'"

[Eireann Fae]

Alex playfully scrunches her nose as Kelly taps on it. Such an action is usually reserved for small children in Eireann Fae, but the woman's tone wasn't patronising, so the teen took it as a sign of endearment. "I won't tell if you won't," she promises, with a devilish grin. "So far as I'm concerned, what Humans and Elves do behind closed doors is our own business. Of course, the paparazzi may take a bit more of an interest in me for a while after my planned performance at WorldVision, but I'm sure I could ditch them well enough to discretely spend a night or three with you and yours. I've never laid with an elf before - how erogenous are those ears?" Alexandra knows that's quite a pointed^† question, but she does so love to see Kelly blush.

^† Pun intended :p

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Alex playfully scrunches her nose as Kelly taps on it. Such an action is usually reserved for small children in Eireann Fae, but the woman's tone wasn't patronising, so the teen took it as a sign of endearment. "I won't tell if you won't," she promises, with a devilish grin. "So far as I'm concerned, what Humans and Elves do behind closed doors is our own business. Of course, the paparazzi may take a bit more of an interest in me for a while after my planned performance at WorldVision, but I'm sure I could ditch them well enough to discretely spend a night or three with you and yours. I've never laid with an elf before - how erogenous are those ears?" Alexandra knows that's quite a pointed^† question, but she does so love to see Kelly blush.

^† Pun intended

Rodriguez giggled again. Now it was definite, the drink was getting to her. "What happens at the WA stays at the WA?"

"Ellen can't really wear earrings, neither can most elves," she said, brushing her own hair back and running a finger along the back side of her ear down to the small stud piercing in the lobe at the bottom. "They'd rub too much, and then she'd be... you know... all the time." She giggled again. "And touching, well..."