The World Cup of Dreams

[The Babbage Islands]

The portals showed up a few at a time, spread across the world over a couple of centuries. Invisible to ordinary eyes (in most cases), they disgorged shadowy emissaries that fanned out through space-time in lands where the worship of football was greatest. Their mission: To build the World Cup of Dreams.

Approaches took many forms, as did the emissaries. Yet it always boiled down to a simple proposal: "We'd like you to play in the Greatest Football Tournament Ever, with legends like (insert local favourites here). And you can face the greats, too. Guys like Hawk. Tzimisces. Belmore. Di Bradini. Girls, too, like Svoboda and Salamida and a Dallas or six. We can't guarantee everyone, not yet, but it will be a real field of dreams. Are you up for it?"

And slowly they returned, portals, emissaries, and players. Players from many when-wheres, 96 teams of them. Consultation with the mystical SRS oracle had brought forth a matrix of football greatness now present in the Dreamed Realm in the not-flesh. No Ordinary Realities had been harmed in the production thus far; of this the Director was certain.

As certain as anything else in the Realm, that is. The potential for mythic bleed was enormous . . .

---

OOC: You are all invited to help tell the story of the greatest football tournament that never was.

Inspired by TBI's scorinator tests and World Cup 59 RP simulating an all-time World Cup, this takes things to the next level. The event will take place in the Dreamed Realm (with the OOC permission of Arch/AIF and IC gracious permission of his Imperial Majesty the Basileus of the Holy Empire) for the avoidance of paradox. It will feature the top 96 nations in the most recent (post-WC62) SRS rankings, playing in 16 pools of six for qualifying and advancing 32 teams to a standard World Cup format.

Every user is invited to actively participate. If your nation/s is/are in the field of 96, you may submit a roster and/or RPs just like this was a "real" tournament. Feel free to be imaginative. If you are on the outside looking in, you may still post IC (not OOC!) RPs of support for your favorite team or two, provided that you do not interfere with the RP of participants. (If you're caught using puppets to support your own teams, bad things will happen.)

The schedule begins in late December and runs six days a week (skipping Sundays) straight through to conclusion, with a possible missed day or two for holidays.

---

The field
(Schedules will be in the next post)

Group 1

Kaze Progressa (73) -- SRS 20
Queer Poco el Mono Ara (89) -- SRS 14
Starblaydia (2) -- SRS 105
Kingsford (61=) -- SRS 23
Demot (38) -- SRS 34
Vilita (21) -- SRS 47

Group 2

Audioslavia (13) -- SRS 62
Oliverry (55) -- SRS 25
Eauz (19) -- SRS 48
The Lowland Clans (41) -- SRS 32
Polar Islandstates (68) -- SRS 20
Valladares (93=) -- SRS 12

Group 3

Albundania (91) -- SRS 12
Snub Nose 38 (61=) -- SRS 23
Oaker (80) -- SRS 17
Jeru FC (23) -- SRS 45
Lovisa (45) -- SRS 30
Sarzonia (14) -- SRS 55

Group 4

Fmjphoenix (66=) -- SRS 22
Bears Armed (34) -- SRS 37
Ad'ihan (50) -- SRS 27
Septentrionia (81) -- SRS 17
Milchama (20) -- SRS 48
Rejistania (7) -- SRS 88

Group 5

Hockey Canada (90) -- SRS 13
Wentland (64) -- SRS 23
The Babbage Islands (17) -- SRS 52
Europa Britannia (15) -- SRS 54
Ravenspire (69=) -- SRS 20
Bazalonia (40) -- SRS 32

Group 6

Sel Appa (75) -- SRS 18
Dance 2 Revolution (51) -- SRS 26
The Han Empire (37) -- SRS 35
Jasi'yun (84=) -- SRS 15
Lemmitania (32) -- SRS 37
Jeruselem (11) -- SRS 69

Group 7

Zwangzug (56) -- SRS 24
The Belmore Family (65) -- SRS 22
Al Quds (95=) -- SRS 11
Giant Zucchini (30=) -- SRS 38
Liverpool England (9) -- SRS 73
Tanah Burung (47) -- SRS 29

Group 8

Quakmybush (84=) -- SRS 15
Bedistan (3) -- SRS 99
Crystilakere (58=) -- SRS 24
Bostopia (27) -- SRS 40
Akbarabad (78) -- SRS 18
Errinundera (36) -- SRS 35

Group 9

Runaway Moose (76=) -- SRS 18
EL CID THE HERO (93=) -- SRS 12
Svecia (29) -- SRS 39
Ariddia (10) -- SRS 69
Tadjikistan (52) -- SRS 26
Schiavonia (48) -- SRS 28

Group 10

Tynelia (72) -- SRS 20
Cassadaigua (30=) -- SRS 38
Crosshill (82) -- SRS 16
Casari (44) -- SRS 30
New Montreal States (49) -- SRS 27
Commerce Heights (6) -- SRS 91

Group 11

Halfassedstates (74) -- SRS 19
Total n Utter Insanity (12) -- SRS 64
Nethertopia (87=) -- SRS 14
Brazillico (46) -- SRS 29
The Archregimancy (24) -- SRS 45
The Eagles Nest (57) -- SRS 24

Group 12

Dennisov (71) -- SRS 20
Cafundéu (16) -- SRS 54
Yafor 2 (53) -- SRS 26
The FSSO (95=) -- SRS 11
One Red Dot (42) -- SRS 32
Sorthern Northland (18) -- SRS 49

Group 13

Kura-Pelland (69=) -- SRS 20
Bettia (28) -- SRS 39
Valanora (1) -- SRS 131
Druida (83) -- SRS 15
Oglethorpia (60) -- SRS 24
Qazox (35) -- SRS 36

Group 14

Haraki (92) -- SRS 12
Turori (39) -- SRS 33
Vephrall (66=) -- SRS 22
Kelssek (63) -- SRS 23
Squornshelous (5) -- SRS 96
Az-cz (25=) -- SRS 40

Group 15

Dancougar (43) -- SRS 31
Candelaria And Marquez (25=) -- SRS 40
The Sylvanaes Queendom (54) -- SRS 25
Iansisle (87=) -- SRS 14
Cockbill Street (76=) -- SRS 18
The Holy Empire (4) -- SRS 99

Group 16

Aguazul (22) -- SRS 46
Spaam (33) -- SRS 37
Krytenia (8) -- SRS 76
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (58=) -- SRS 24
Gesamtkuntswerk (84=) -- SRS 15
Quohog (79) -- SRS 17

[The Babbage Islands]

Schedule

Qualifying

2012-12-18 1v6, 2v5, 3v4
2012-12-19 6v4, 5v3, 1v2
2012-12-20 2v6, 3v1, 4v5
2012-12-21 6v5, 1v4, 2v3
2012-12-22 3v6, 4v2, 5v1
off day
2012-12-24 6v1, 5v2, 4v3
2012-12-25 4v6, 3v5, 2v1
2012-12-26 6v2, 1v3, 5v4
2012-12-27 5v6, 4v1, 3v2
2012-12-28 6v3, 2v4, 1v5; pot-system group draw posted with scorination

Cup

2012-12-29 Group Stage Day 1: 1v4, 2v3
off day
2012-12-31 Group Stage Day 2: 4v3, 1v2
2013-01-01 Group Stage Day 3: 2v4, 3v1
2013-01-02 Second Round (A1vD2, B1vC2, C1vB2, D1vA2, E1vH2, F1vG2, G1vF2, H1vE2)
2013-01-03 Quarterfinals
2013-01-04 Semifinals
2013-01-05 Third Place Match, Final

The Pools

Group 1

Kaze Progressa (73) -- SRS 20
Queer Poco el Mono Ara (89) -- SRS 14
Starblaydia (2) -- SRS 105
Kingsford (61=) -- SRS 23
Demot (38) -- SRS 34
Vilita (21) -- SRS 47

Group 2

Audioslavia (13) -- SRS 62
Oliverry (55) -- SRS 25
Eauz (19) -- SRS 48
The Lowland Clans (41) -- SRS 32
Polar Islandstates (68) -- SRS 20
Valladares (93=) -- SRS 12

Group 3

Albundania (91) -- SRS 12
Snub Nose 38 (61=) -- SRS 23
Oaker (80) -- SRS 17
Jeru FC (23) -- SRS 45
Lovisa (45) -- SRS 30
Sarzonia (14) -- SRS 55

Group 4

Fmjphoenix (66=) -- SRS 22
Bears Armed (34) -- SRS 37
Ad'ihan (50) -- SRS 27
Septentrionia (81) -- SRS 17
Milchama (20) -- SRS 48
Rejistania (7) -- SRS 88

Group 5

Hockey Canada (90) -- SRS 13
Wentland (64) -- SRS 23
The Babbage Islands (17) -- SRS 52
Europa Britannia (15) -- SRS 54
Ravenspire (69=) -- SRS 20
Bazalonia (40) -- SRS 32

Group 6

Sel Appa (75) -- SRS 18
Dance 2 Revolution (51) -- SRS 26
The Han Empire (37) -- SRS 35
Jasi'yun (84=) -- SRS 15
Lemmitania (32) -- SRS 37
Jeruselem (11) -- SRS 69

Group 7

Zwangzug (56) -- SRS 24
The Belmore Family (65) -- SRS 22
Al Quds (95=) -- SRS 11
Giant Zucchini (30=) -- SRS 38
Liverpool England (9) -- SRS 73
Tanah Burung (47) -- SRS 29

Group 8

Quakmybush (84=) -- SRS 15
Bedistan (3) -- SRS 99
Crystilakere (58=) -- SRS 24
Bostopia (27) -- SRS 40
Akbarabad (78) -- SRS 18
Errinundera (36) -- SRS 35

Group 9

Runaway Moose (76=) -- SRS 18
EL CID THE HERO (93=) -- SRS 12
Svecia (29) -- SRS 39
Ariddia (10) -- SRS 69
Tadjikistan (52) -- SRS 26
Schiavonia (48) -- SRS 28

Group 10

Tynelia (72) -- SRS 20
Cassadaigua (30=) -- SRS 38
Crosshill (82) -- SRS 16
Casari (44) -- SRS 30
New Montreal States (49) -- SRS 27
Commerce Heights (6) -- SRS 91

Group 11

Halfassedstates (74) -- SRS 19
Total n Utter Insanity (12) -- SRS 64
Nethertopia (87=) -- SRS 14
Brazillico (46) -- SRS 29
The Archregimancy (24) -- SRS 45
The Eagles Nest (57) -- SRS 24

Group 12

Dennisov (71) -- SRS 20
Cafundéu (16) -- SRS 54
Yafor 2 (53) -- SRS 26
The FSSO (95=) -- SRS 11
One Red Dot (42) -- SRS 32
Sorthern Northland (18) -- SRS 49

Group 13

Kura-Pelland (69=) -- SRS 20
Bettia (28) -- SRS 39
Valanora (1) -- SRS 131
Druida (83) -- SRS 15
Oglethorpia (60) -- SRS 24
Qazox (35) -- SRS 36

Group 14

Haraki (92) -- SRS 12
Turori (39) -- SRS 33
Vephrall (66=) -- SRS 22
Kelssek (63) -- SRS 23
Squornshelous (5) -- SRS 96
Az-cz (25=) -- SRS 40

Group 15

Dancougar (43) -- SRS 31
Candelaria And Marquez (25=) -- SRS 40
The Sylvanaes Queendom (54) -- SRS 25
Iansisle (87=) -- SRS 14
Cockbill Street (76=) -- SRS 18
The Holy Empire (4) -- SRS 99

Group 16

Aguazul (22) -- SRS 46
Spaam (33) -- SRS 37
Krytenia (8) -- SRS 76
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (58=) -- SRS 24
Gesamtkuntswerk (84=) -- SRS 15
Quohog (79) -- SRS 17

Tournament Draw

Group A
Bears Armed (34) -- SRS 37
Commerce Heights (6) -- SRS 91
Casari (44) -- SRS 30
Audioslavia (13) -- SRS 62

Group B
Total n Utter Insanity (12) -- SRS 64
Bostopia (27) -- SRS 40
The Holy Empire (4) -- SRS 99
Kelssek (63) -- SRS 23

Group C
The Archregimancy (24) -- SRS 45
Bedistan (3) -- SRS 99
Jeruselem (11) -- SRS 69
Polar Islandstates (68) -- SRS 20

Group D
Sorthern Northland (18) -- SRS 49
Rejistania (7) -- SRS 88
Lemmitania (32) -- SRS 37
Demot (38) -- SRS 34

Group E
The Babbage Islands (17) -- SRS 52
Liverpool England (9) -- SRS 73
Aguazul (22) -- SRS 46
Tanah Burung (47) -- SRS 29

Group F
Qazox (35) -- SRS 36
Candelaria And Marquez (25=) -- SRS 40
Sarzonia (14) -- SRS 55
Krytenia (8) -- SRS 76

Group G
Jeru FC (23) -- SRS 45
Europa Britannia (15) -- SRS 54
Valanora (1) -- SRS 131
One Red Dot (42) -- SRS 32

Group H
Starblaydia (2) -- SRS 105
Schiavonia (48) -- SRS 28
Ariddia (10) -- SRS 69
Az-cz (25=) -- SRS 40

[The Babbage Islands]

No matter how long I live, I'll never understand the Dreamed Realm.

Richard Valdemar stepped into the Holy Empire once again. He'd been there several times before, most notably during World Cup 50 when they had co-hosted the tournament with Krytenia. And that was the first time the Bumblebees gave the world something to buzz about.

The offer he had received back home was clear enough, yet at once confusing. "We admire your organisational expertise, and would be greatly honoured if you were to select a representative squad for The Babbage Islands for an all-time World Cup. The Bumblebees presently rank 17th all-time with an SRS total of 52." And so on. How does a team with just two third-places to its credit rank as high as 17th, when there have been over 50 cups in which champions have been crowned?

Then some glimpses of the future were briefly impressed upon his mind. Two . . . three . . . four more semifinals coming! Nice. And two finals. Magnus's little girl puts on big stompin' boots. Jason gets to 70 goals. We get to host again . . . and again, it would seem. Maybe we earn that 17 seed, who knows?

It's too bad that Janice isn't here for this. I miss her.

[The Babbage Islands]

As Richard Valdemar set himself to the selection task, he received further promptings. One led to a document that appeared to be from years in the future. It purported to select an all-time team for something called a Fair Play Trophy. He scanned the list. It looks like we get Caitlyn Ballantyne and it pays off. I need to pursue that arbitration ruling. She's a bona-fide Babbage citizen from birth, Sportgirls folded their federation, should be a slam dunk.

Hmmm! Jerry marries Elizabeth? That's a surprise.

Then Richard came to the tenth name on the list, and his heart skipped a beat. Tegan Nash Valdemar. Really? I married/marry/will-marry Tegan? I wonder what Janice would think about that. And no sooner did he think the question than he knew the answer. She's temple-worthy. You share a profession as a bonus. Well, sort of. She's also a beautiful woman, not necessary but a big plus. Janice expects me to remarry. That was our agreement years ago should either of us pass on. We've had Sister Nash as our guest several times. I think she'd approve.

Any courtship could get sticky, though. Step carefully.

Processing the rest of the list was easy enough after that. We can't get Ganz Ijak, surely he'll play for his homeland. And it looks like we hire foreign successors for a while. But Magnus did it before. Apparently so will his daughter. Can you imagine a lineup where he plays with both his children?

And with a few emendations it all took shape.

Squad for the World Cup of Dreams

The Bumblebees will line up in the 4-6-0 formation first made famous by the World Cup 50 semifinalists. They'll favour a flashy attack (+4.0). In alphabetical order:

Starters
Caitlyn Ballantyne, wingback, 73 caps (34 as captain)/3 goals (TBI record only)
Started in World Cups 54-57. Clubs: Harbour Town (SPG), Blue Ridge FC, FV Harmonie (LTK), Ranca Toco (CAF).

Orson Cook, wing midfield, 133 caps/57 goals
Started in World Cups 49-52 and Cups of Harmony 39-40. Clubs: Greenville Rovers, América (CAF).

Patty Heatherly (Cook), midfield, 84 caps/33 goals
Started in World Cups 49-51 and Cup of Harmony 40. Clubs: Bloomfield National.

Dagrun Hallvarðsdóttir, wing midfield, 70 caps/47 goals
Started in World Cups 56-59. Clubs: Viktoria Baden, Urajbina (KPZ).

Kaitlyn Miller, goalkeeper, 87 caps/3 goals
Started in World Cups 58-62. Clubs: UMFK, SC Lasft (Cafundéu), Bloomfield National.

Jerry Kirkpatrick, centre back, 147 caps (47 as captain)/6 goals
Started in World Cups 51-55. Clubs: West Scoville Tigers, Dunboor FC (CAF).
World Cup Hall of Fame (WC 56).

Katja Mira, wingback, 102 caps/8 goals
Started in World Cups 57-61. Clubs: Parisian, Atlético Central (CAF), Petardos S/A (CAF).

Jason Olson, point, 122 caps/76 goals
Started in World Cups 53-56. Clubs: Wye Celtic, Clube Comercial (CAF).
World Cup Hall of Fame (WC 60).

Kelli Alder (Tormey), midfield, 138 caps/63 goals
Started in World Cups 51-53, 55. Clubs: Belgium FC.

Tegan Nash (Valdemar) (captain), attacking midfield, 151 caps (143 as captain)/60 goals
Started in World Cups 49-53 and Cup of Harmony 40. Clubs: FK Maribor, Dover City, Clube Comercial (CAF), Petardos S/A (CAF).
World Cup Hall of Fame (WC 52).

Nancy Svoboda (Woods), sweeper, 140 caps (79 as captain, 8 as player-manager)/5 goals
Started in World Cups 55-61. Clubs: Pocono City Capitals (NEW), Belgium FC, Bloomfield National.
World Cup Hall of Fame (WC 60).

Manager
Magnus Svoboda, player-manager (reserve forward), 48 caps (22 as captain, 26 as player-manager)/22 goals
Started in World Cup 49 and Cups of Harmony 39-40. Clubs: Bloomfield National, Dover City.
World Cup Hall of Fame (WC 53).

Reserves
Matt Chauvin, defender, 99/3, started WC 50-53
Ronald Dennis, defender, 118/6, started WC 52-56
Aubrey Dew, midfielder, 70/41, started WC 59-61
Wilhelm Freudigmann, defender, 91/4, started WC 49-50 and CoH 39-40
Elizabeth Hanna(-Kirkpatrick), goalkeeper, 98/0, started WC 53-56
Veronika Hennicke, midfielder, 126/27, started WC 52-55
Natalia Karven, midfielder, 74/14, started WC 57-60
Pierre Rouleau, midfielder, 72/5, started WC 49-50 and CoH 39-40
Glen Svoboda, forward, 110/67, started WC 54, 57-59
Saturnino Valle Barajas, defender, 104/8, started WC 57-62

RP Guidance: Please do not godmod or seriously (likely duration more than one match) injure my players. Otherwise, have fun.

[The Babbage Islands]

As I sit down to write this, I don't know who will be reading it or who will be able to read it. But I have to write about it anyway.

I'm in The Holy Empire, getting ready to play football. This wouldn't of itself be too strange. Yes, it's an unusual place, but certainly a lot of football gets played there. And yet this journey is not like the others.

See, while I was on the road for a recent match I was met by a representative of the Empire. Sealed scrolls and all. And he bore an invitation to play in something that he called the greatest football tournament ever. It was, he said, a chance to play with the best against the best. And it was accompanied by a letter from Dick Valdemar at FFB that assured me it wouldn't create a problem with my commitments to club or country.

If it weren't the Empire I'd have been really suspicious. But we've been around enough to know that land has a tenuous relationship with reality. So I followed the instructions, and here I am. And this will take some getting used to, for I'm playing with teammates from my future and my past. We all got brought here at different times, it seems, corresponding to the height of our reputations. Something like that.

There are three Svobodas here, for instance, enough to blow your mind. I think of Nancy Svoboda first as the little girl whose daddy got killed in a plane crash. Or maybe the Nancy of my present, playing sweeper on a champion U-17 boys team. At 13. But this Nancy, a very self-assured woman, has over a hundred caps and has been to two World Cup finals. Her brother Glen apparently plays/will play in Sorthern Northland, he's got a pile of caps too.

But I remember grieving for the loss of Magnus Svoboda, my teammate, mentor, and very dear friend. Now he's my player-manager just like he was when I started in my first Cup of Harmony. And he's not dead, not here, not now, not even a little bit, and playing with his kids who look his age or older. I've met all my successors as captain of the Bumblebees, too. It's surreal.

And the most unnerving moment of all was meeting Kaitlyn Miller, who I gather is our World Cup 62 keeper nine Cups in my future. "Honoured to meet you, Mrs. Valdemar," she said.

I marry a Valdemar?

Smile!

[Aguazul]

Asdrubal Espinoza dreams of a loudmouth and a gambler.

"Lucas Prado sent me," he explains.

Which is the wrong way to begin. "What does he want now?"

"Uh...well...first he wanted me to go find someone more directly tied to what Aguazul was doing. Then, earlier, he said maybe I could try you."

"Then, earlier?"

"I'm from the future."

"You're what?"

"Um, okay, look. You're dreaming. We're having this conversation in your sleep...you know about The Holy Empire, right?"

"I've been there."

"Okay, well." And Pedro Flores begins to explain. "...which is why I had to draft up a some star team."

"Some star team?"

"They'd been asking me to, before. I never got around to it, but I guess I might as well now."

"Congratulations. Maybe now you can go tell Prado that this has nothing to do with you breaking into my dreams."

"Oh, no, I wanted to run it by you."

"But these players are from the future? I've never heard of most of them!"

"Well technically you're going to hear of some more of them, a couple, so it's hardly never."

"Okay, try this. Don't tell me names, those won't mean anything to me. Just go through and tell me when each of them played, and then...you don't even have to tell me, just figure out for yourself how good the team was, then. And see whether it matches up."

"There's a thought. Okay, of the first national team, I figure three starters...Villalobos at left back. Or right back depending on which of the...never mind you don't care. Okay. Riquelme on right...wing, I guess, he was there for one of the Cafundelense team of the season lineups. And Alarcón out on the left wing."

"We've qualified for...exactly one World Cup, so far."

"I know. Okay. And of the current team, er...well, I had to pick the one named to the World XI, didn't I?"

"The what now?"

"It wasn't about diversity, it was just, that's who I have to go with. One player."

"And has this team qualified?"

"We just made the knockouts!"

"Well, that tells you something, doesn't it?"

"...I guess so, yeah. Okay."

"So, maybe you can bench one of the "old timers.""

"They're the current timers to you, aren't they? I'm sorry, this must be weird. You'll probably forget this when you wake up, if that's any consolation..."

"I've seen a lot, I think I can handle it."

"Okay. Well, I'll cut Alarcón, Oraglio was probably better anyway. I just don't want three starting midfielders all from Ciudagua, that would get boring."

"Excuse me?" Espinoza smiles.

"Three from Ciudagua and none from 12 de noviembre. Sorry."

For the first time, Espinoza's eyes truly widen. "What happens to this team?"

"I...probably can't tell you that. Okay. Okay. What about s...somebody who can play on the left wing from the modern day? Maybe he's not really a great attacker, but then Riquelme isn't either, we'll just play a flat four across the middle...that should work. I think."

"Glad to be of service."

"You can still come. I think. There might be a way, a portal or...or a dream. Maybe."

"The chance to meet so many of those old teams...it would be an honor. But we'll see. Good luck."

"Thanks."

"I would wish the national team good luck, too. Nothing much, just from one compatriot to another. But...there's something about the way you look that suggests you don't need it."

Flores shakes his head. "The way you track down some of the lost archives...in another time, you would have made a great megaphone guy."

[Zwangzug]

Alan dreams of a woman he doesn't know. She has short hair, dark skin, and she looks maybe fifty, but he knows better than to guess. Time is a funny thing.

"You are invited to...uh...what does this even say. Inspired by scorinator tests..."

Alan glares.

"That is, the, uh, All-Time World Cup simulation of, uh, World Cup 59?"

"Who are you?"

"My name's Sue. Don't worry, this is a very convincing dream. Okay. Hold on. Ahem! We'd like you to play...no. We'd like you to commentate the Greatest Football Tournament Ever. Uh. All-star teams from all across time and space."

"Doesn't make sense."

"What?"

"Ever? How do you know there aren't going to be other tournaments, other teams in the future? Or has the entire football structure disbanded? In which case, who's left running this thing?"

"You're good. I can see where Kurt gets it from."

"Who's Kurt?"

"Just...another announcer, from Zwangzug. From--your future. He made the same point, recently, the arrow of time and all. But no, it's just the organizers' hyperbole. A special, unprecedented tournament."

"Hmm."

"Okay, let me keep going. With legends like (insert local favorites here). And you can meet--"

"Insert local favorites here?"

"You just made the semifinals, didn't you? And after visiting Bazalonia...the fans are growing, you'll have popular players, now. Maybe not legends, not this early, but...eventual stars."

"Huh. Yeah. I guess we do."

"And you can meet the greats, too. Guys like Hawk. Tzimisces. Belmore. Di Bradini. Girls, too, like Svoboda and Salamida and a Dallas or six. They can't guarantee everyone, not yet--"

"Who are all these people?"

"Okay, some of them haven't come along yet. But you know Hawk and Tzimisces, they're still around."

"As of World Cup 59?"

"And beyond."

"We're not like that. I mean, sure, there's not a lot of player turnover, but that's just because we don't have any subs. And I think the players now like to stick with people who've been around and know...whatever they've got going on."

"No, okay. But we can make an all-star team, the current players and then the up-and-coming ones."

"How?"

"Well, you're dreaming, aren't you? It'll be in the Holy Empire."

"Whoa whoa whoa no. I don't think so. You're going to recruit our players to go back there?"

"No Ordinary Realities will be harmed in the making of this tournament."

"Realities? No no no. We are not--universes unto ourselves, we are simple human beings. We do not stride through the illustrious golden realms--well okay, there was that one time, with the...oooh, yes. But the point stands, you'll never convince the players."

"One of your eventual players is going to become "a bit of a cult figure" in the Holy Empire. I'm sure she'd be up for it."

"She. We have actual women playing on the team, starting and everything?"

"You will. Soon. After this last tournament, you'll have a whole roster full of subs if you want them. People care, now."

"So you're going to recruit players from the future, as well as those from the recent past?"

"Exactly! Or get the coach to do it."

"That's also impossible. Because I'm pretty sure if any of our players had been to the Dreamed Realm beyond the--the times we were already there? We'd remember it."

"Ah, no. I figured on that. That's why it'll be dreamed, for you--most of the team will think of it as just a dream, and might not even remember the tournament after. So they can meet players from the future, learn what happens, with no risk of paradox since it won't stick with them."

"You want them to go meet the legends of the past and the future and not remember it?"

"Look, I didn't come up with this tournament."

"I should say not. There've been fifty-nine World Cups, you say?"

"More than that. I mean technically--"

"This field of ninety-six. How many of them are still active teams?"

"Less than half, but other fans will be able to show up! Cheer on the legends!"

"Legends who they don't know the names of because there isn't any athletic organization around to draw up a roster?"

"Uh...well...that's why it's outside of space and time..."

"Look. We're not legends, we're not immortals, we--do we win much of anything?"

"Well you've got that fish now. And the Cup of Harmony, there was that."

"Okay. But I don't think people will really care about us, that much."

"You can provide a link to the past, then. Tell the fans of my present what you remember."

"How long do I have this job? As announcer?"

"A while yet."

"Then why don't you get me from later?"

"I figure any time is as good as any other. More or less."

"Is my color commentator coming?"

"I haven't asked him yet. I'm holding off for a few cycles to talk to him, he'll be a little more helpful on the far side of 38."

"What happens then?"

"You visit Vephrall. The other half of Vircais' favorite team..."

"Am I missing a cultural allusion?"

"Yeah, that won't make sense for a while either. Wait until World Cup 39 or 40 or so."

"I don't suppose I have much choice."

"Look, if you have a few fond--memories of your last trip to the Holy Empire, I'm sure there would be downtime for you to poke around. You might have a quiet group, between the six of you there's one qualification attempt in the last twenty cycles--"

She cuts herself off too late; Alan's face has fallen. "No," he whispers.

"Under those names," she stammers, but can't hide the catch in her voice. "there's a--successor state--"

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Twenty cycles, we've been gone now? We get the fans, we get the fish, and all for what?"

"I shouldn't say too much--"

"And you have the gall to invite me to this tournament, as some washed-up announcer? You think the fans of the future would actually care to hear from a--a fogey whose country doesn't even bother anymore? I can't get my color commentator to shut up and stop taking square roots! I'd be useless."

"There's something just a little endearing about the square roots. Even you have to admit."

"What do you take me for? The sort of man who proclaims some tournament the greatest of all time? With half the field not knowing it's going on? Twenty cycles after my own team is gone? No. Not me. Not ever. I'm sorry, I'm honored even, talk to the players if they'll let you, but not me. Not like this."

"I understand," says Sue. "And I'm sorry to have bothered you. I'll let The Babbage Islanders know not to expect you."

"...the who?"

"The Bumblebees. You know--you don't, all right, but the Svobodas, Valdemar, Nash, there's quite a complicated genealogy. Or there will be."

"You...you said reality won't be harmed?"

"Of course not. Nor should the players, or visitors, at least for this tournament."

He scowls darkly, but hesitates still. "And I won't have to remember anything?"

"No."

"All right, all right, I'll come. Just to meet these teams from the future, you understand. I see enough of our guys here."

Sue smiles. "Welcome."

[Aguazul]

As always, Aguazul's home and away uniforms are dark blue and dark green respectively, as in the national flag. The goalkeeper's kit is gold. Also as always, 1-11 are starters, numbers increase left-to-right (left-back #2, right-back #5, left outside midfielder #6, right outside midfielder #9). This usually means #6 and #9 are outright wingers who will attack a lot, but for this particular tournament, this is not so much the case and they will take a flatter approach. Nevertheless, style mod remains +2.

Rather than bother with portals and have the event "actually happen" in their timeline, which would require all sorts of retcons and time paradoxes, Aguazul's players and visitors are dreaming this event from different times and will probably forget it when they wake up afterwards. Whether this will hold for the three active players, who presumably could experience it after World Cup 62 in their own timeline, is unclear. Similarly, perhaps those players still living in Aguazul could suddenly "remember" it all as soon as their subjective timelines "caught up" with this.

This team has been chosen with somewhat of an eye towards balance of the clubs and eras represented, and a couple of the choices will be unconventional, nevertheless, it should provide a decent mix of Aguazul's history. The all-time roster lists when these (and all other) players were active, their clubs, goals scored, any notes, and links to wiki articles where applicable.

The numbers after each player represent the last completed World Cup in their own individual timelines (i.e. they remember that and previous tournaments, and as far as they're concerned, this event is happening before the next one).

Manager: Pelayo Sortani (53)

Goalkeepers:
1. Vedillo Bazán (52)
12. Osoro Coceres (58)
23. Jimeno Arellano (56)

Defenders:
2. Chago Villalobos (52)
3. Lita Jaramillo (62)
4. Pepe Raúl Corretja (56)
5. Ruberte Cadena (58)
13. Francisco Cerezo (58)
14. José Manuel Poblano (54)
15. Garcilaso Criville (58)
16. Sesmiro Marroquín (55)

Midfielders:
6. Merlín Salomón (62)
7. Blas Pulido (56)
8. Claudio Albornos (56)
9. Gerardo Riquelme (53) (captain)
17. Juan Esteban Oraglio (56)
18. Sergio Bustamante (51)
19. Diego Héctor Carranza (62)
20. Alvaro Sáez (51)

Forwards:
10. Gunsedal Cisneros (52)
11. Sosimo Lissón (57)
21. Eusebio Nadol (58)
22. Rubén Saavedra (50)

RP Permissions:
Choose goalscorers and issue yellow or red cards as desired. Feel free to injure them, too, although this being the Dreamed Realm that might be a waste of your time.

As far as godmodding other events goes, I'm generally pretty open, but subject to the condition that none of this will have permanent effects (as above); otherwise they'd remember it, and I just haven't RPed that. You can probably get away with more if it involves the active three; if you have any questions, let me know.

An important RP disclaimer: my posts will likely involve all sorts of conversations that couldn't necessarily happen in the "real" RP timeline, maybe filling in the gaps of previous posts and perhaps even involving the characters of my other team (Zwangzug). Should these interactions continue beyond one or both teams' elimination, feel free to just not award any bonus at all; I don't want to run afoul of the "bad things" rule so I'm mentioning this possibility in advance to be on the safe side.

I would apologize for some of these not making much sense in the absence of the backstory, but let's face it, a lot of the backstory doesn't make much sense either.

[Audioslavia]

Seems as good a place as any to post this picture. Ten years today...

World Cup of Dreams
The Team

1: GK: Peter Andersson (WC19-21)
2: RB: Lee Branson (WC 9-13)
3: LB: Arne Carel (WC19-21)
4: CM: Didi Romanov (WC18-21)
5: CB: Andre-Luis Partico (WC59-62)
6: CB: Aron Ceulemans (WC21-25)
7: RM: Taurxa Jeroen (WC21-25)
8: CM: Alexander Marriot (WC20-23)
9: CF: Jackie McLlroy (WC19-22)
10: CF: Arturo Vitalis (WC26-29)
11: LM: Sebastian Fiori (WC27-29)

Manager: Helmut Vilkaous (will possibly be managing the Vilita team also...)

[Bears Armed]

(In the year 2NNNAD.)

(Location: Capital Stadium, Charleston, the Babbage Islands.)


"ThunderChild shoots! Smith fails to intercept the ball... ThunderChild scores!
"And thirty minutes after the previously last goal, that puts the Bear-Belles back ahead again over the Bumblebees -- now by 3 goals to 2 -- which means that with less than another minute left on the clock this match probably won't be going into extra time after all..."

(Just under a minute later_ )

"The referee blows his whistle to signify the end of the game and that's it: The Babbage Islands two, Bears Armed three, and Bears Armed have won the World Cup yet again. This is not only their sixth World Cup overall but their fourth consecutive triumph, which sets a new World Cup record. Now the two teams' members are lining up and shaking hands with their opponents, and... WHAT?!? What's this? The entire Bears Armed team, along with their coaching and medical staff, have just vanished into thin air!"


_____________________________________________________________________________________________


OOC: I didn't feel up to putting together an all-star selection drawn from all of the Bears' past teams, so I asked TBI whether this would be okay as an alternative. Evidently somebody amongst the people from The Holy Empire who are handling their side of the hosting arrangements slipped up when setting the 'most reecent date' [from a 'mundie' viewpoint] limit on selection for this nation... ^_^ )

[Zwangzug]

Home kits: white with black stripes, away kits, black with white stripes. Style mod 0; we like symmetry.

Rather than bother with portals and have the event "actually happen" in their timeline, which would require all sorts of retcons and time paradoxes, Zwangzug's players and visitors are dreaming this event and will probably forget it when they wake up afterwards. Possibly, those players still living in Zwangzug could suddenly "remember" it all as soon as their subjective timelines "caught up" with this.

I have much more copious background notes on these and many more players, but have not compiled them, except for the Hall of Famers, whose wiki pages are linked. This tournament might provide a good excuse for writing up some more, but then again, it might not. Should you happen to want to read more about anyone in particular, please let me know and I will make it happen. The numbers after each player represent the last completed World Cup in their own individual timelines (i.e. they remember that and previous tournaments, and as far as they're concerned, this event is happening before the next one).

Manager: Doodlypants Mcgimpy (38) A Bigtopian refugee who's prone to mix metaphors, especially when numbers are involved. Probably chosen as coach because he couldn't get through to his players, leaving them free to choose their own tactics.

The starting eleven:

#11, Eddie Barnes, midfield WC35-41, Dunboor FC (36)
#46, Andrew Card, defense WC33-42, Joseon (35)
#10, Brendan Deguela, midfield WC37-42, Chelmar FC, IYC Ajer (41) An all-around athlete whose football knowledge has come a long way.
#9, Mal Faustino, defense WC36-40, AFF (38) Will eventually own a supermarket in Abadia (which expanded into including a restaurant).
#7, Natalie Instonenext, defense WC37-41, Port of Clotaire (40) An assertive-enough captain of her club team, more reserved on the international level.
#26, Natasha Keller, midfield WC39-42, Rovers United (41) Plays with the joy, enthusiasm, and positional tactics of a five-year-old.
#26, Megan Kucinich, midfield WC38-42, Wexax United (40) An adventurous player who's seemingly up for a trip anywhere in the multiverse (except her opponent's half of the field), which has made her "a bit of a cult figure" in the Holy Empire and genuinely enthusiastic to be here for this tournament (whether or not she remembers it).
#1, Simon Ryne Olson, forward WC33-39, Marienburg United (37)
#13, Steven Ruck, midfield WC33-41, IYC Ajer, Cardarel FC (38) Captain for this team (and, as far as he's concerned, the "next" three cycles). Will become a manager in Yafor 2.
#30, Rohit Sharma, forward WC40-42, Namiri Forest, Chelmar FC (41) Still adjusting to this team (his original club plays a 1-6-3-1), and learning to pass.
#3, Peter Vanderpent, forward WC37-41, Albrecht FC (40) A spatial thinker, frequently aware of the correct position to be in, almost as frequently able to get there.

Being from Zwangzug, they train for endurance and will be used to playing without substitutes. Nevertheless, five of the latter have come along for the ride (though in some cases they might not bother to show up to every game).

#27, Rube Tercer, defense WC33-35 (33) The team's first captain, nauseatingly idealistic (especially at this point in his career).
#5, Gary Maini, forward WC37-41, Albrecht Turkish (40) Comparatively unselfish as a center-forward, passes when he should shoot.
#43, Saena Mathash, goalkeeper WC42, Namiri Forest (42 qualifiers) Likely to spend most of this tournament hiding from teammates she hasn't met yet.
#54, Jacob Barons, midfield WC33-38 (36) His steady and capable play earned him the team captaincy beginning World Cup 36.
#28, Dirk Grosa, midfield WC39-42, Spenson Suburbia, IYC Ajer (41) A complaining perfectionist, but with a work ethic that's second to none.

For the uninitiated, yes, we do play a 3-5-3. This involves dominating possession, lulling our opponents into overconfident shots, and trying to wrap things up in a couple hours, max.

---Vanderpent--Olson---Sharma----
--------Keller-------Ruck--------
-------------Deguela-------------
-------Barnes-----Kucinich-------
--Faustino---Instonenext-Card----

RP Permissions:
Choose goalscorers and issue yellow or red cards as desired. Feel free to injure them, too, although this being the Dreamed Realm that might be a waste of your time.

As far as godmodding other events goes, I'm generally pretty open, but subject to the condition that none of this will have permanent effects (as above); otherwise they'd remember it, and I just haven't RPed that. If you have any questions, let me know.

An important RP disclaimer: my posts will likely involve all sorts of conversations that couldn't necessarily happen in the "real" RP timeline, maybe filling in the gaps of previous posts and perhaps even involving the characters of my other team (Aguazul). Should these interactions continue beyond one or both teams' elimination, feel free to just not award any bonus at all; I don't want to run afoul of the "bad things" rule so I'm warning this in public.

I would apologize for some of these not making much sense in the absence of the backstory, but let's face it, a lot of the backstory doesn't make much sense either.

[Candelaria And Marquez]

Mark Baker woke up. There were voices in the kitchen, carrying the distinctive timbre of the human male. This was unusual.

Mark hauled himself out of bed, eased into his waiting slippers, paused thoughtfully, inched his right foot out of its associate slipper whilst balancing on his left, bent down, picked up the right slipper, shook it gently to allow half a dozen genially sweary pillywiggins to fall out onto the carpet, replaced the slipper on the floor, slid his foot back into it, and pottered into the hall. The low winter light of the morning was spilling into the bungalow. Mark could still make out the muttering from the kitchen, behind the ajar door, despite the shouting and laughter from adolescent thuss outside, bursting with the simple thrill of being out in the daytime. The experience never seemed to get old. Come to think of it, neither did they.

Mark pulled open the kitchen door, and yawned. “Oh.”

“Not what you were expecting, Mr Baker?”

Mark gave a half shrug. “Wasn’t expectin’ anything, very much. Might’ve been hoping for summat a tad more interesting. You’ll do for nostalgia value, but as night-time visitors go…? Seriously below par for this city, lads.”

“Mm,” said one of the men, managing to convey both distaste and impatience in a single hum. “Well, it’s a pleasure to me–”

“Wish I could say likewise, lad. Been a long time since any of you MORT buggers showed up.”

“Oh, we’re not MORT,” said the other man, hurriedly. Mark raised his eyebrows.

“Pffh… You reckon? Suits, dark glasses, a business-like white chap and taller, more friendly-looking Hispanic one? Textbook MORT.”

“We’re from… DUH.”

There was an awkward pause.

“The… what?”

“DUH, Mr Baker. The Department of Uncommon Happenings.”

“Wouldn’t that be dowuh?”

“We don’t capitalise the O.”

“It’s, um… unexpected.”

The business-like white one flashed his colleague an annoyed look. “What is?”

“Department of Unexpected Happenings.”

“Is it?”

“I think so.”

Mark reached out for the kitchen chair, clattered it over the tiles, and sat down on it heavily. “You can check, if you like. I’m in no hurry.”

“Oh, would you mind? Ta. I’ve got my ID in here somewhere…”

“Jorge, for pity’s sake, does it really matter? The reason we’re here, Mr Baker, is th–”

“Right, hang on… Blockbuster video, that noodle place opposite the butcher’s… What’s this one? My MORT card, uh, probably shouldn’t’ve…”

Mark angled his neck. “Ooh, Rational Thought-era. You’re more old-school than you look, lad.”

“Um. Ha. I tell a lie. Department of Unusual Happenings. Fancy.”

“No doubt we’ll have got our heads around that by the time the next rebranding exercise happens,” sighed the shorter agent. He fished around his suit for some documents of his own and handed one to the old man. “Here. You might as well just read it. God, I’m dying for a fag.”

Mark gingerly took the proffered sheet by a corner and cast his eyes over the large, curly writing. A minute or so passed. “It’s wet,” he offered, eventually. “You didn’t have a little accident on the way over, did you? I can recommend some excellent adult nappies.”

“A blancmange brought it. It didn’t have hands. And yes, it should have dried off by now. It also shouldn’t rearrange itself into one’s primary language, either. My ‘local favourites’ had a distinctly Latino flavour. It’s a bit of a worry, really.”

“Aye. And you’re actually serious about us going to this dog-and-pony show?”

“It doesn’t appear that we have much choice, sir. We didn’t enter, they entered us. As it were. But if it’s got to happen…”

“I’m the man? That is what you’re here for, right? You want me to manage… what? A bunch of old men? Dream simul… whatevers?”

“We’re not a hundred per cent sure, to tell you the truth. We think the squad members will be plucked from their own times at the appropriate point.”

“How?”

“Uh… arrangements will be made? We think.”

“Well, that fills one with confidence. Why me?”

“You’re the best man for the job,” the agent smarmed.

“I’m clearly not,” Mark snapped. “We have two World Cup winning managers at large. I’m neither of them. And long retired.”

“Mr Le Lan has settled in Krytenia and wants nothing more to do with us. Mr Dannat is still, uh… enjoying his football consultancy role. Excessively so, so we’re told. But even if that wasn’t the case… Your achievements with Gordon Bay City, at least in their first campaign, may never be matched. And that was only a few years ago. You’re still relevant.”

“New name, still bullshitting like your lives depend on it. It’s because this is mucking about with time, and it’s therefore bloody dangerous, and I’m expendable, isn’t it? It’s not as though anyone would miss me. Or believe it, if I never came back. Old Mark Baker. How many times has he been declared dead now? Or been thrown into a maximum security prison, or the damned Sunshine Memory Towers? He’s already been buggered about by Time often enough, he’s a big ol’ temporal anomaly even without the business about his sister, and the yeti, and the elves, and, and, what happened with the Brothers and the Beatrice, and… and all that. In fact, it’d probably be tidier for you lot if I just disappeared anyhow, wouldn’t it?”

“Probably, yes,” the taller man from DUH conceded, “But that really isn’t the point here. Mr Baker, there isn’t a Candelariasian alive who’s lived through as much… weirdness as you. Not now, anyway. If anyone can keep his sanity amidst such a situation as this, it’s you. If anyone can deliver us victory, it’s yo–”

“Who cares about bloody victory? It’s just bread and circuses for those poor Frostican buggers who think they’re the ones living in a dream world. No-one back home will know it’s even happened, how can they?”

“True. But you will. You’ll know. Think about it, Mr Baker. One last shot. Testing your mettle against the best. And what could you have done, if you’d had the best C&M had to offer, each of them at their best? Think about it…”

He need not have continued. The old manager eyes had taken a glossy sheen. Baker ran a hot tongue across his lips. “Never won a trophy, you know. Not a major one. Ever… But, I wonder, I wonder… Adams. What could I do with Adams. And Vélez, perhaps, or perhaps not… Four-four-two man to m’bones, but… Perhaps, ah, what was he name, the one with the hair… Amey, that’s it, perhaps…”

“Can we take that as a yes, then?”

“Hm? Mm, mm. Qiu? Pond? The Albrecht boy, the black one, Kakoo Kakoo, or whatever it was. Didn’t see enough in those last few years, that’s the trouble. Too distracted, too… old. Too old. But I can’t just go for the old guard, can I? Torrealba, Wadders. Old Benji, would he be good enough? Or would the Plunkett boy be more suitable…?”

“Well, that is a relief,” the one called Jorge sighed. “Took us a damned age to find you, as well. The Beaverriver striker was most perturbed. And the inside-centre from Seathen. And that judge chap from Chrinthania, what a filthy brain that one had, Jeeeesus. An… What’re you? Oh. Yeah.”

But Baker paid him little heed. “Kures? Or Hawker. And Hawker, or Torrealba. Never mind the Italians! We could play two, couldn’t we? Pack the base of the midfield…”

The other agent coughed, meaningfully. “Right. Well, glad that’s settled. We’ll just be off then. Jorge, do you want to, um… No, not that one!”

Mark dragged himself away from his thoughts for a brief moment to watch the men from DUH turn momentarily into two large bananas before vanishing. He shrugged to himself. “Hm. Fancy. I always wanted a go on that Pappas boy, I wonder. All the talent in the world, but would he really deserve it, among the best of the best? So many things to think about, heavens…”

The kitchen blurred, just a little. And Mark Baker woke up.

[Candelaria And Marquez]

Candelaria And Marquez National Football Team Squad for the World Cup of Dreams

Assorted Stuff:

1. The Republic of Candelaria And Marquez comprises the islands of Candelaria and Marquez (you see what they did there?), along with the various other smaller islands, semi-autonomous or otherwise, that go to make up the Candelarias archipelago. The archipelago also includes the sovereign states of Gordon Bay City and Ransome-Bkyki Island.

2. Located in the north-west of Rushmore, C&M is a mildly multicultural parliamentary democracy, with numerous small ethnic and linguistic communities amongst the majority English- (Candelaria) and Spanish-speaking (Marquez) populations. Throughout recent years, the nation’s primary focus has been towards sport, particularly that of a competitive, international variety. The country won the World Cup twice, the Cup of Harmony and three Di Bradini Cup gongs, and were multiple world champions in rugby union and field hockey. The domestic soccer league, the CMSC, was considered one of the multiverse’s strongest, and produced several Champions’ Cup, Globe Cup and SBCC winners.

3. Though not be any means an unduly unpleasant place to live, C&M was blighted by the existence of what may be termed the Candelariasian Conspiracy. For many decades, it was official state policy to deny the existence of non-human sentient life in the multiverse, and even the multiverse itself. For a long time this was a simple enough exercise, with few Candelariasian travelling overseas and even those who did mostly doing so to other northern Rushmori nations whose citizens had, at the time, limited grasps of the worlds beyond Oygruppen themselves.

As C&M became increasingly involved in international affairs – and, in particular, sport – maintaining the status quo became a much greater challenge. The clandestine Ministry of Rational Thought (and, later, the more public Ministry of Remedial Teaching) adopted more drastic measures. Travelling supporters were ferried to vast sets built to represent imaginary nations rather than allowed to make their way to countries home to sapient mice, and the like. Others were given elaborate, pseudoscientific, backstories to explain the diminutive stature or pointy ears of other nations’ footballers. Televised matches were shown on delay, with sophisticated CGI used to literally cover up the most physically unusual of opposition players. The Candelarias’ newspapers practised self-censorship lest their journalists face imprisonment or exile; fates that befell many ordinary citizens who dared speak out. Others were publicly ridiculed as nutcase conspiracy theorists, with state stooges (witting or otherwise) used as lightning rods for media mockery of rumours of foreign ‘weirdness’.

Such endeavours involved ever increasing numbers of civil servants and the like, themselves becoming privy to greater and greater slivers of understanding of the MORT’s activities. Only a relative handful of Candelariasians knew the true reasons for their efforts – or, at least, what they believed to be such – namely that they were doing the bidding of an extradimensional community of malevolent fairies. Rebellion within the faerie realm, the invasion of Gordon Bay City, and the subsequent Monument Place Incident conspired to make it clear to all that the fairies were in truth nothing of the sort, despite their own self-delusions engendered by a long campaign of misinformation by the elders of their kin, but instead aboriginal Candelariasians who had centuries earlier fled into their foul realm of the Svartálfar in an effort to avoid slaughter at the hands of European settlers.

All this gave a lot of people a lot of headaches.

With this revelation revealed, many would have hoped that the Candelariasian Conspiracy could be at an end. Others knew, however, that revealing the truth to the country’s public would almost certainly result in civil war – or, at the very least, murderous public anger directed at the government officials, journalists, businessmen, sportspeople and the like who had played their parts in keeping alight the great lie to often deadly ends. So it continued, for a little while longer, as the state exerted greater and greater control over the media in desperation to save their own skins, never mind prevent the collapse of civil society.

4. And then… the Beatrice happened. Or the Hatching, or whatever you want to call it.

What it actually was is not necessarily important. It involved Time and colour and… let’s just leave it at that. For now.

Suffice it to say, the Beatrice was a highly traumatic event for the Candelariasian population, and one which the powers-that-be could simply not explain away. The Truth had been revealed, the Candelariasian Conspiracy was at an end.

The months that followed saw some of the fears of the country’s elite realised. Anger was turned against them, against anyone deemed to have helped kept the Lie for their only personal ends, and only increased once the true scale of the horrors that had been allowed to be committed on Green Island were revealed. Footballers in particular went from the ultimate national heroes to personas non grata. Immigrant communities, from the developed and third worlds alike, found themselves under siege, with many accusing them of accepting cushy government jobs or state handouts in return for keeping their silence. Many exiles tried to return, but not all were welcomed warmly. Calls for ethnic separatism on Marquez rose to their loudest since the Problems of the ‘70s. Journalists resigned on mass, few expecting to ever be trusted again. For many months, there were daily riots. Albrecht burned.

The government forced through emergency measures to end the country’s fixed-term parliaments and have new elections, with President Robyn Morton taking the first plane to Ad’ihan she could. The make-up of the new parliament was unsurprisingly fractured – a fact which was arguably the most significant in avoiding civil war, with too many separate factions spread across the country with their own interests to protect. Many analysts had expected the previously dominant Modern Liberal and Unionists parties to disintegrate. Instead, while they suffered major drop-offs in support, they retained enough seats to remain relevant – largely with the support of the nation’s army of state employees who had known elements of the Truth and now feared for their lives. In all, sixteen parties and two independents were returned, with Natalie van Dijk’s Social Democratic & Green Party the largest with thirty-nine of the two hundred and sixty seats.

C&M’s second female head of government duly formed what proved to be an unexpectedly stable, broad left, coalition alongside the Unionists, a resurgent Free Marquez, Our Open Eyes (a party formed by returning exiles), Peace & Freedom (a centrist party supporting the rights of recent immigrants) and the sole MPs from the Future and Green Succession parties. Van Dijk herself proved a popular, statespersonlike, figure though both the SD&GP and Conservative parties suffered in more recent polling as the Truth and Reconciliation Committee’s sessions made it clear that they had been as much aware of the truth, and supportive of the MORT’s activities, as the more traditional ruling parties. Van Dijk ultimately announced that she would step down before the next round of elections, along with all those SD&GP MPs who had been members of the House prior to the Beatrice, a declaration that most other parties soon followed. The new, pro-business Progress Party – leaders of the centre-right opposition bloc – look best placed to prosper, though the combined thirty-one seats of the Alliance of Nationalist Parties and the far-right Candelariasians Together! group have many worried for an altogether different direction for the islands’ political future.

Whatever their allegiance, few Candelariasians could care less about football again yet.

We mean ‘could care less’ in the correct, British, sense there. Obviously. Standards.

5. The correct national demonym is Candelariasian. Honest.

__________________

Modifier: -1

My opponent, if they RP first, may do anything.

__________________

Squad:

Head Coach: The venerable Mark Baker, C&M’s manager at their Baptism of Fire, might be likely to stick to a tried-and-trusted, extremely patient, 4-4-2 of Sbaïz – Lopulalan , O’Brien, Davies, Adekunde – Cohen, Corradini (c), Nakatsuru, Kortsarian – Adams and Vélez, but equally… he might not. Who knows? Who cares, for that matter?

Ages are at player’s perceived peak (usually in their late twenties, for some reason… Candelariasians took time to mature) from the era that they will be plucked. Caps and goals represent final tallies. Professional clubs players were drawn from whilst representing the C&M senior side are listed in inscrutable slanty text.

Goalkeepers:

23. Joel Sbaïz – Aged 33 (c. WC45) – 87 caps – KT Hotspur, Chelmar FC [Yafor 2]
The best goalkeeper of his generation… if you listen to Candelariasians and Yaforites. Otherwise, the lanky bugger was merely a very fine World Cup winner. Born on Marquez to refugees fleeing from Macedonian expansionism; Joel’s successful international (if slightly middling club) career was only mildly damaged by the effects of his profound phobia of large, hairy players, added to his id following an unfortunate incident in a friendly with Nethertopia involving a gorilla referee and a bacon butty wagon.

Like many ‘Diegos and Bowlers’ – the popular term for Candelariasians based abroad – Sbaïz, sexy umlaut and all, opted to remain overseas following the end of his playing career, in his case among Yaforites, who tend to the small and hairy and thus proved just about acceptable. He married a local girl, coached orphans, or something, and faded gently into obscurity along with the rest of the Grand Democratic Ducky Duchy.

1. Christian Fernández Montes – Aged 30 (c. WC49) – 74 caps (4 as sub) – El din Marbles, Radyukevich CSC, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu]
A tall, springy ‘keeper with an ingratiatingly exotic habit of punching needlessly from corners; CFM would doubtless have played another campaign or two after succeeding Harry Rosalia as C&M No 1 had the Thing not cut his international career short. After contemptuously turning down a move to the Sargossan league (the terms ‘why on Earth’, ‘frankly’ and ‘Isle of Man’ may have been invoked there), he ended up winning multiple domestic, UICA and personal honours in Cafundéu.

He now owns a luxury car dealership and a gold tooth. Life is good.

22. Harry Rosalia – Aged 32 (c. WC48) – 44 caps (1 as sub) – Mayo Valley, Hanlon Warbirds (loan), El din Marbles, Albrecht FC
When faced with the eternal question, “Who Ate All The Pies?”; “Harry Rosalia” would not be a good answer.

If you were on Pointless, that is. Otherwise, it would be a very good answer indeed. Large, rosy-cheeked and far from mobile, the vaguely Latino west Candelarian native squeezed in between Sbaïz and Fernández during a goldenish period for Candelariasian goalkeeping and proved sufficiently consistent and quick-witted to find a place between the sticks not only as a World Cup runner-up but in winning CMSC and TQCC titles for his country’s biggest club side.

After injury ruled him out of an entire clausura his opted to end his playing career, focusing thereafter on eating all the remaining pies and winning Celebrity Fat Club one year.

Defenders:

2. Gwynfardd Lopulalan – Aged 25 (c. WC45) – 88 caps (4 as sub), 3 goals – Southern Village (loan) [Land de Wood], KT Hotspur – RIGHT-BACK
Cementing his place in the Big Blues first XI at a relatively young age; the Bettian Candelariasian Bettian Candelarian Candelariasian quietly went about notching up an arse load of caps. Solid but sprightly, a clever passer of the ball equally capable of releasing sweeping crosses into the box; he remained a one-club man for the lowly Rosasharn outfit but at least won the World Cup.

He ultimately retired, as was the style at the time, and returned to his ancestral homeland for some reason soon after. Beyond that, you’re on your own.

12. Harris Dixon – Aged 26 (c. WC41) – 54 caps (10 as sub), 1 goal – Albrecht Turkish, A.F.F. [Cafundéu] – RIGHT-BACK
A somewhat surprising selection for the ultimately tragic Albrecht native. An out-and-out defender who captained his country’s under-21 side to DBC glory before making an immediate step up to the senior side; Dixon took time to oust the more offensive-minded William Burgos and establish a place in the first time before being himself overhauled by Lopulalan.

Throughout, few knew the depths of Dixon’s emotional torment, the first inklings of which emerged in a public arena following a post-match interview in which the defender stunned the Candelarias by coming out as black. By the time A.F.F. and Dixon won the Cafundelense First Division Grand Final however, it was clear that he was still struggling with his racial identity, appearing pallid and gaunt. A Candelariasian team-mate claimed soon after that his countryman had been using vast quantities of hydroquinone as a whitening agent for several months prior to undergoing as many as twenty-five sessions of ablative laser surgery on his face, neck and lower limbs. Upon a return visit to see family in C&M he was sequestered under the Mental Health Act. A spout of baby-dangling probably also contributed to that.

He was ultimately released, following the finalisation of a costly divorce, and remains in the care of his mother and siblings.

3. God’s Power Adekunde – Aged 28 (c. WC44) – 77 caps (2 as sub), 1 goal – Albrecht Independent FC, Port of Clotaire, Albrecht Turkish – LEFT-BACK
On current trends, based on a look at the national census and a cursory glance at twitter, by the year 2050 almost 50% of the Candelariasian population will carry one of the surnames Khan, Styles or Adekunde.

The eldest child of immigrants Imomotimi and Kathryn Adekunde; GPA became one of seven sporting Candelariasians, following their starring roles in their own reality show, and one of three footballing brothers. Big Zac might have scored in a World Cup final (which is to say, he did), but it was his elder brother who proved the most consistent star, steaming powerfully forwards from full-back after scaring the opposition off the ball. Like Lopulalan, he could also fill in at centre-half in a pinch.

Following his playing career, God’s Power took up a managerial role at his boyhood club, with Zac and their less successful middle brother Barry as his assistants. His appointment lasted only a season before the Happening happened, but he remains involved at the now amateur club and, unlike many of his sporting countrymen, retains the respect of his community as a powerful voice for the capital’s increasingly beleaguered third-world immigrant population. Proving as equally fecund as his father, he has four children (Continent, Fear the Lord, Jesus Christ Came Into The World To Save and LaToya) and a gorilla named after him. He and Sbaïz no longer stay in touch.

13. Oliver Wilkinson – Aged 29 (c. WC49) – 80 caps (4 as sub), 8 goals – El din Marbles, Arrigo Portuguese – LEFT-BACK
While far from possessed of the talent of Brandon Qiu, whose career was so regrettably cut short by the Occurrence, and not having anywhere near as good a name as Doug Szczechowicz or, indeed, Love Cummins; Olly Wilky deserves his spot on steadfastness alone. A perfectly acceptable defender, his best asset was his link play with former club team-mate Randjelovic, and so it will likely be here too. He also had really lovely eyes, like they were proper deep into his skull, you know, sort of brooding but blue, and… Anyway, he was also captain for a bit.

Following the Incident he retired to focus on building dry stone walls, which gives him immense satisfaction.

6. Jacob Davies – Aged 29 (c. WC51) – 106 caps (3 goals) – Marquez-Onwere, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu], Porto Lacruz [Cafundéu] – CENTRE-BACK
Few would have picked Davies out in his teens as a star in the making, never mind C&M’s first and only player to reach one hundred caps – and he would doubtless have managed more had the Episode not cut off his international career arguably when he was reaching his peak. Named the CMSC’s Young Player of the Year for its XXXIV season, he went on to be a Defender of the Year in Cafundéu and a World Cup winner – relying not on height or pace, neither of which were anything special, but simply on his supreme confidence on and off the ball.

Following a short spell at mid-table Porto Lacruz, Davies returned to C&M to become a list member of the House of Representatives for the Unionists, one of the two crumbling ‘natural parties of government’ now seen as speaking on behalf of state workers and other individuals privy to greater than average knowledge of the outside world and pre-Incident understanding of the Candelariasian Conspiracy. He’s also the star player for the C&M All-Party Parliamentary Football Club, for whom he plays up front.

5. Eric O’Brien – Aged 27 (c. WC46) – 87 caps (1 goal) – AFC MN Smith, Marquez-Onwere – CENTRE-BACK
An intelligent organiser of the back four and a natural leader of men, the Sorthern Candelariasian Northlandish Candelarian and Davies were perhaps not the most obviously of partners – and certainly not the fastest – but their time spent together at MarquezOW helped take C&M to the WC48 final, three cycles after the young man played an inspirational role in the Big Blues’ first World Cup title.

He retired to continue his heroic battle against piles, and to complete the Sorthern Candelariasian Dream by opening a pub.

15. Benji Fu – Aged 28 (c. WC37) – 76 caps – Albrecht FC, Radyukevich CSC, Candelaria Arsenal – CENTRE-BACK
A member of the Baptism of Fire squad; placid Benjamin “Pity The” Fu became captain for his country’s second cycle and lead them to two World Cup finals and the competition’s last sixteen before his waning powers, and habit of occasionally hacking randomly at opponents and giving away penalties, became too obvious to ignore.

An elegant figure, whose range of passing and special awareness allowed him to play lower level football well into his forties, Fu’s subsequent career was in the world of music – leaving his moderately successful band, Ultimate Fantasy Girlfriend, he enjoyed stints on the sticks for The Icky Tendrils of Passive Dumbening and Marooned Navy well into his fifties. We’re not sure what he did in his sixties. Die, possibly. Can’t remember.

Midfielders:

14. Niv Cohen – Aged 28 (c. WC44) – 82 caps (2 as sub), 20 goals – AFC MN Smith, Albrecht Turkish – RIGHT MIDFIELDER
Like Eric O’Brien, Cohen was a product of the vaunted Smudgers academy who went on to captain his country. Unlike him, Cohen was a native of MN Smith’s home city of Bove, and a proud member of the city’s significant Jewish community. The only known Jew to be a World Cup winning captain (‘known’ being used here in the sense of ‘we know Jeruselem, Jerueffsee and Milchama have never won the World Cup and we can’t be arsed to check several dozen other World Cup willies just in case); Cohen’s crosses (how ironic) and free (how ironic) kicks earned him international plaudits and even a nomination from some hopeless backwater footballing nation for the World Cup All-Time XI. Which we don’t think ever happened, so technically he might still have a chance of being in there, y’know.

Cohen retired to put his feet up, engage in some light punditry and coaching, and campaign for anti-Semitism in Candelariasian society. Or against it. I forget.

16. O’Sullivan Caras – Aged 25 (c. WC37) – 84 caps, 11 goals – Arrigo Portuguese, Caires City, Central United [Cafundéu], Clube Imperial [Cafundéu], SC Lasft [Cafundéu] – RIGHT MIDFIELDER
Another boffer, and a mainstay of the squad for ten years without ever being truly loved by the C&M faithful. The overtly religious tats and holier-than-thou onfield bling was probably part of that. Later players to occupy his position for shorter periods of time might well have been technically better, but Caras’ impact as a crosser of the ball and a popular member of the team among his fellow pros made him a vital early piece of an unfinished Candelariasian jigsaw.

The Marquezian’s career came to a close after the thirty-second Cup of Harmony, during which Caras suffered a severe injury to his right arm forcing an amputation at the elbow thanks to an unfortunate subplot involving drug-dealing Swedish vicars and translucent sheep. He returned to C&M to work with parasportspeoples.

11. Aaron Kortsarian – Aged 29 (c. WC44) – 68 caps (6 as sub), 19 goals – Candelaria-Allemali, KT Hotspur, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu] – LEFT MIDFIELDER
In terms of pure ability, one might argue that Aaron of the Nuts was the best Candelariasian player of all time, cutting in from the left to consistently beat opponents with a trick or scorching run and deliver a pinpoint pass. A DBC player at eighteen, his early career was blighted by injuries but he finally blossomed late to drag C&M to the WC45 final, as well as being named the second-best player in the Cafundelense league one year, which means a lot to your average Candelariasian football fan of years past.

He was also ginger. His first name rhymes with ‘barren’.

A relatively cerebral young man with a keen interest in archaeology and anthropology, he retired to a life of leisure in Cafundéu.

21. Koviljko Randjelovic – Aged 23 (c. WC48) – 82 caps (4 as sub), 19 goals – Arrigo Portuguese, Albrecht Turkish – LEFT MIDFIELDER
Born in the failed state of Squornshelous, Randjelovic arrived on the Marquezian coast as a ten year-old, clinging to a wooden raft with two small sisters, a lampshade, and scurvy. Captaining his adopted country to DBC10 victory; this protégé of former Squornshelan striker Djagbor Cvecej proved an exceptionally talented dribbler once he had learnt Spanish and stopped hitting people, and emerged as a poster boy for refugees made good and a world class cog in the WC49-winning machine.

He could also drink any of yous – any of yous – under the table, and was last seen suffering from acute liver failure.

4. Matteo Corradini – Aged 28 (c. WC41) – 95 caps (7 as sub), 6 goals – Albrecht FC – DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER, CAPTAIN
His career might have come and gone before C&M lifted the World Cup, and he may played in the defensive holdy fulcrummy pivotty role that plenty of later Candelariasians have excelled at, but no-one would argue against his inclusion here. Matteo Corradini remains a true legend for club and country alike.

Certainly, he was a very fine footballer, technically accomplished but more than happy to put his foot in when required and protect the back four. He could certainly make a huge difference to the attack, but it was his stellar displays at the base of the midfield that helped cement C&M’s early reputation as an unusually defensively-minded national side. The most infamous moment of his life, onfield or off, came at CoH33 when, a cycle after having bestowed upon the Rennidanian quite the nasty tackle, the late midfielder Robert Golos attacked Corradini with boot in hand, repeatedly striking the Candelariasian captain’s face. Several matches later, Corradini re-emerged with an extensive mask covering the lower half of his face, supposedly to ‘protect the sensibilities of a global television audience from viewing his grotesque visage’. He played in the final, a C&M victory.

‘The Man in the Plastic Mask’ remained a key part of the squad for several more years, but struggled to find a role in public life thereafter. Now maskless, though scarred for life, he cut a bitter figure, unable to attract a big managerial job and unwilling to drop down to the CMSC2 or below. He was given a shot with the national under-21s, which ended in a rare group stage failure, and focused after that as a sponsor – first of nephew Alessandro, who went on to win two Olympic medals in gymnastics, and then of son Enrico, a promising full-back at Albrecht FC who was only a teenager at the time of the Occasion.

8. Connor Mengucci – Aged 31 (c. WC43) – 88 caps (13 as sub), 2 goals – Albrecht Turkish, Candelaria-Allemali, América [Cafundéu], Petardos S/A [Cafundéu] – DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER
Despite his late blossoming, from a poor man’s Corradini into a very valid replacement, Mengucci’s career did not last quite long enough for him to add a World Cup medal to his cabinet, but he is still remembered extremely fondly.

Slim but powerful, the eloquent blond added more accurate distribution to his stopping game in later years before retiring to run a chain of pizza restaurants (just-a like great-a-great-a-grandmother used to make) and write articles for Cafundelense football magazines. Neither was to be his destiny however, for as a coach he stunned the experts by guiding lowly Eldorado into fourth in the Primeirona, being named the league’s best manager before taking over at Dunboor FC. He presumably remains there still and, among that small group of Candelariasians still hopeful of a return to international football in their lifetimes, Mengucci is the Chosen One who will return to lead a new generation of Big Blues to glory from the dugout.

17. Jesse Nakatsuru – Aged 24 (c. WC48) – 94 caps (4 as sub), 43 goals – Albrecht FC – ATTACKING MIDFIELDER
Dear Jesse. He of the hair, the slightly effeminate eastasian appearance, the light sprinkling of acne, the reassuring Old Testament name. He could have walked out of the pages of Non-Threatening Boys Magazine, but Nakatsuru was no mere pin-up. Possessed both of midfield creativity and a considerable goalscoring threat, he was indisputably a world class player in a national team not always reliant on individual talent, even if his occasionally antagonistic relationship with a certain midfield partner and national heroine didn’t always endear him to the non-Albrecht FC supporting public.

Come his late twenties, and the Experience, Nakatsuru found himself out of a job and, as with many of his peers, at odds with much of the Candelariasian population. He returned to his father’s home isle of Ilbon for a time and embarked on an H-Pop career, but now resides in the rural west of Candelaria, in a big house with a long driveway, bodyguards, and several vicious dogs.

19. Jhanna Young – Aged 29 (post-WC51) – 81 caps (12 as sub), 41 goals – Green Island – ATTACKING MIDFIELDER
Ahhh… Jhanna. Born on semi-autonomous Green Island in the week her centre-half father Ben led the C&M Under-21s to the second Di Bradini Cup title, Jhanna Victoria Young was a star of her native island within a handful of years, and very soon the sweetheart of the entire Candelarias. Beautiful, but in an approachable sort of way. Fashionable and brimming with attitude but in a wholesome, down-to-earth sort of way. Blonde, blue eyes. Oh, and she could play! Excellent ball control, a fine footballing brain, plenty of pace. In her, did a nation pin its hopes, its dreams, its fantasies. They were with her, and were her. She was a people’s Mary-Sue. The first lady of Candelariasian football. Our Jhan.

Few had any inkling of the personal struggles engaged within that lovely head – first in tempering the confidence, née arrogance, that came from being the daughter of a professional player and one who had learnt at the feet of the elves of Marlow Park; then in dealing with the clandestine abduction of her siblings as Sam Mc O’Neil’s mad regime on Green Island reached breaking point. Taking on the captain’s armband in C&M’s final cycle, she did not let any of this affect her onfield displays. Even after the Phenomenon she continued to improve, and may not have reached her peak for another year or so, playing park football with the children, Special or otherwise, of her beloved island.

20. Dionísio Madeira Lobos – Aged 23 (c. WC39) – 53 caps (1 as sub), 16 goals – Central United [Cafundéu], Caires City – ATTACKING MIDFIELDER
C&M would have plenty of options in this position, but one of the best is hardly a Candelariasian at all. Born and raised in Cafundéu, Dionísio arrived at second-tier Caires City as a nineteen year-old makeweight for O’Sullivan Caras. What happened next was wholly unexpected. The young man turned out to be a wondrously talented player, almost single-handedly helping City to promotion with record tallies of both goals and assists. He would win his club’s Player of the Season gong four times in a row, and lead a relatively modest side with a relatively modest budget first to second in the CMSC1, then to back-to-back titles and a CMS Cup.

Before too long, international honours came calling – but it was for C&M, gaining citizenship five years after his arrival, that he made his debut at the thirty-third Cup of Harmony, playing a major role in their successful drive for glory. He remained an immediate first choice pick, not universally loved but a cult figure for both club and adoptive country. Upon his retirement, Dionísio was unexpectedly handed the managerial job at City, just days after the previous incumbent had been sacked despite winning the Globe Cup. Though he could never quite live up to the glories of his playing days, Dionísio as head coach still guided City to the top of the UICA rankings and competitive finishes in the league. He remains involved in the club, despite its now amateur status.

Forwards:

10. Danny Adams– Aged 29 (c. WC49) – 97 caps (9 as sub), 57 goals – AFC MN Smith, Albrecht Turkish, Central United [Cafundéu], Dunboor FC [Cafundéu], Petardos S/A [Cafundéu] – STRIKER
THERE’S ONLY NIIIIIIINE DANNY ADAMSES!!

A highly unusual example of a Candelariasian first called up for international duty whilst still eligible for the under-21s, Adams was putting them away by the bucketload for the Smith whilst still a teenager and clearly destined for great things. The fox-in-the-box’s career stumbled slightly at Turkish, but he soon regained his form following his seemingly inevitable move to Cafundéu (Candelariasians did play in other countries as well… honest…), breaking the twenty-goal barrier in his first season at a Central United side attempting to resurrect past glories, and voted the league’s best youngster.

The following season Adams was at Dunboor, upping his tally from twenty-two to twenty-four, twenty-nine the next, and twenty-seven and the Player of the Season award in his first for Petardos S/A the following term. Around the same time, Adams played a key role in C&M’s second World Cup title, despite group stage accusations of selfishness. Such claims would always dog his career, with some daring to question whether his immense goals return always justified his lack of involvement throughout the ninety minutes. For some, he was ‘just a goalscorer’, but it says much for him that, after his final cycle at WC50, C&M’s new manager Carlos Panadero simply couldn’t countenance replacing him, and switched to a 4-6-0. Two more twenty-goal seasons brought his club career to a happy close and Adams retired, becoming a pundit for both Candelariasian and Cafundelense TV. Despite his status as a working-class Bove hero, he remained based in the latter nation thereafter.

18. Ignacio Vélez – Aged 27 (c. WC38) – 85 caps (8 as sub), 49 goals – Marquez-Onwere, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu] – STRIKER
It’s probably important at this point that we provide another example of the intimate relationship of old betwixt Cafundelense and Candelariasian football, don’t you think? Enter Ignacio: the first great Hispanic hero of the Big Blues, who notched up a frankly insulting number of goals for a still not terribly good international team. Slow but deadly, he and Adams had much in common, hanging off the shoulder of the last defender before rifling one in with unerring accuracy. Could they play together? We never found out, and might not here either with the management just as likely as not as to prefer an extra midfielder or a big man leading the line. None the less, on a pound-for-pound basis, there can be no doubt that Iggy earned his place.

A party animal with a dizzying array of conquests, Vélez (and his not-quite-as-good younger brother Rául, also a C&M international) hailed from the village of Calamocha, responsible for churning out a somewhat worrying number of gifted professional players. The CoH was his greatest moment of onfield glory, but he also won league titles in C&M and Cafundéu. He was appointed Cafundó do Juta’s YTS coach thereafter before his recent top-flight experience and impressive knowledge of David Bowie’s back catalogue saw him become assistant coach of the Cafundéu national team, an appointment hardly welcomed back in the Candelarias and provoking a public feud with his brother. He later led Clube dos Banqueiros to promotion but his managerial career stuttered thereafter, leading his club to successive relegations before suffering a second sacking at Khalmar-Tijhus the following season.

7. Abdul Ibadulla – Aged 24 (c.WC44) – 83 caps (8 as sub), 34 goals – Radyukevich CSC, Juavi FC [Valanora] – STRIKER
Big man, good feet. C&M have had a few tall target men, but the Clotaire native was proving himself the best of the bunch at a young age, his scoring feats for the Jukos and the C&M Under-21s leading to a switch to Juavi FC. The Vanorian side never quite made the breakthrough to become genuine title challengers under their Candelariasian captain, but Abdul still won the Silver Cup (being named MVP into the bargain) and took his side to a Globe Cup final, while he was twice named in the league’s best XI. And, of course, he scored in a World Cup final. Which was nice.

Always a bit on the beardy side, he went seriously Muslim for a bit after his playing days, and his current whereabouts are unknown. His brother Alam Ibadulla, a former spin bowler for Clotaire, claims to still be in contact with him, though. Which is nice.

9. Steven Fritz – Aged 25 (c. WC33) – 34 caps (3 as sub), 13 goals – Caires FC, Albrecht FC, Arrigo Portuguese – STRIKER
The Little Legend himself. Thirteen goals may seem a modest international total, compared to other C&M forwards such as Ramiro Novo, Tom Smith and David Spooner, but Fritz was simply born too early to display his talents on the grandest stage. Receiving his first call-up at the age of thirty for the Baptism of Fire, Fritz’s pace was already suffering. What could he have done in international colours had he received his chance just a few years earlier? Candelariasians – and particularly Albrecht FC fans – have long debated it. Maybe now, a handful of them will get the chance to find out whether the man who powered the Scorpions to five league titles in six seasons in the years approaching Candelariasian football’s International Era could have torn apart the world had he only had the service of a Nakatsuru or Young. Or perhaps not. You’d have to think he’s very much the twenty-third man here. Or… twenty-second. Man speaking figuratively, here. Mm.

Fritz became something of a recluse following a final fling at Portuguese, struggling with the new realities of the multiverse he had encountered on his travels. His whereabouts were last known a few years ago, when he was living out west in a caravan with two seventeen year-olds. Candelariasian public attitudes to such things were still more ‘Get In There, My Son!’ than ‘Now Then, Now Then’ at that point, and in the more judgey times that have followed he appears to have rather dropped off the map.

First Reserve:

24. Jake Swailes – Aged 18 (c. WC46) – 2 caps (both as sub) – St. Patrick’s FC [Sorthern Northland] – LEFT MIDFIELDER
So many choices, of course. Centre-half Enrique Silva de Aviz was the most-capped Candelariasian not the make the twenty-three. The likes of Ricky Archer, Lawrence Amey, Ben Head, Ogus Kures and Gabriel Macanás made invaluable contributions over the years, and, in terms of pure technique, it’s hard to leave out José Felipe Cassumba Domingos or Diego Fernando Pappas.

But there can only be one choice. One man – one boy – who came to C&M in their hour of need. Twice. That manboy was Jake Swailes, or possibly Jake Swails, a trainee at St. Pat’s in the Sorthern lower leagues. Born in Little Clotaire and possessed of a Candelariasian granny; Swails, or possibly Swailes, was plucked from the stands by defensive coach Boston Mårtensson during a friendly international to don the blue and green for a C&M side suffering both from injuries and several absentee plays (who had refused to travel due to swans) and play half an hour. The visitors lost two-one and Swails, or conceivably Swailes, barely got a touch. But that’s not the point, is it?

A qualifying campaign later, visa problems left C&M once again with half a squad for a trip to Achtervolging, and Swailes (and quite possibly Swails as well) was dragged back onto the substitutes bench thanks to his luscious red and gold passport and played the final five minutes. Despite these exploits however, neither Swailes or Swails really made it as a pro, or indeed semi-pro, at St. Patrick’s. We think he might have become a mud clerk. We’re not sure.

Swailes is believed to have died in the Sorthern nuclear conflict. God knows about Swails, though.

[Qazox]

6 former Qazoxian greats along with 5 of the best Qazox has to offer from today, and the 1st coach to take Qazox to the World Cup... what could go wrong?? We don't know exactly how the old-timers got here, but the current players are here willingly (we think) and all are eager to see if Qazox can prove they are amongst the top 32 teams of all time, anything less will be seen as a failure; anything more icing on the cake.

COACH: Reggie Hassok (WC 31-32)
FORMATION: 3-3-4/3-3-2-2/3-5-2
GK- Marc Klick (WC 46-48)
DB- Tobias Carrera (current)
DB- Fernando Turek (WC 30-32)
DB- Juila McDaniels (current)
MD-Marsha Tanner (current)
MD- Raul de Olivares (WC 42-44)
MD- Harley Rose (current)
LW- Ryan Percy (WC 47-50)
RW- Daniel Spaatz (current player)
FR- Kallie Jaus (WC 41-44)
ST- Matilda Swords (WC 45-48)

SCHEDULE
2012-12-18 KURA-PELLAND
2012-12-19 DRUIDA
2012-12-20 BETTIA
2012-12-21 OGLETHORPIA
2012-12-22 VALANORA
2012-12-24 KURA-PELLAND
2012-12-25 DRUIDA
2012-12-26 BETTIA
2012-12-27 OGLETHORPIA
2012-12-28 VALANORA

The #1 ranked team of all time. 2 multiple-time World Cup champions, 3 teams that have had the experience to play in a World cup Final, 4 teams that have hosted a World Cup Final and 5 teams that all have done better than Qazox in the World Cup. Yeah it's a mountain of history that Qazox must face down just to get out of the group stage. 96 teams, all of which have had various amounts of success at the World Cup and only one can become the Champion of Champions. Can Qazox be that team?

[Commerce Heights]

The World Cup of Dreams? It was an equipment manager’s nightmare.

The clock was ticking down to kickoff. The kits were still in boxes. He couldn’t even think of where he was, or who these players were. For a fleeting moment, he thought he recognized a face—is that Alejandro Bolúfero over there? What? It can’t be. Get back to work.

He cut through the tape to find the silver and blue away colors of Yuba United. But the dyes seemed a little off, and upon further inspection, the shirt was stained by a red screen-printed abomination of a logo rather than sanctified by the two-letter hallmark of the greatest club ever to play the game. He scrambled to find the lettering in the box so he could finish the job he was probably supposed to have done hours ago, but all he could find were stars. Little stars, big stars, gray stars, brown stars, white stars, red stars, blue stars. Hundreds and hundreds of stars. Why would anyone need so many stars?

He reached into his bag for his emergency stash of letters and numbers. Given how well the day was going, he was surprised to find an ample supply. (Not quite a complete set, mind you—he always hated the one-piece letter Å, preferring to construct it from its constituent components.) Unfortunately, it was only an ample supply of white letters with purple trim and purple letters with white trim, the favored colors of the PSC. Even as a cadre of Casarans took up residence in his head—Who designed your kits? Was it us? Was it us?—he bit his lip and spelled out the names on the roster in a color that might make even a Starblaydi cringe. Oh. I guess there is a Bolúfero on this team.

He completed the set of twenty-three kits in the nick of time. He took a deep, deep breath, but before he could exhale, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to face World Cup– and Champions’ Cup–winning manager Alfreda Alesanka.

“Aren’t you going to put stars on? For the two World Cups?”

World Cups‽ This is a nightmare.

---

Commerce Heights Bulldogs
(3–3–4 formation · style modifier +5 if applicable · starters in bold)

1 · GK · Dirk Vojtilo (World Cup 12 bronze medalist)
2 · FL · Davido Agiaro
3 · FC · Migelo Luiso (World Cup 39 gold medalist & World Cup 41 silver medalist)
4 · FC · Alejandro Bolúfero (World Cup 36 bronze medalist [as coach])
5 · FC · No Bum-mo (World Cup 39 gold medalist & World Cup 41 silver medalist)
6 · MR · Michael McCormick (World Cup 12 bronze medalist)
7 · DR · Paul Derbyshire
8 · ML · Im Il-man
9 · MR · Göran Leisten (World Cup 39 gold medalist)
10 · FL · “Simoleon” (World Cup 15 gold medalist)
11 · FC · Cyprus Pound (World Cup 15 gold medalist)
12 · MC · Judith Pérez (World Cup 36 bronze medalist)
13 · GK · Friedel Kuban-Schnellfrieder
14 · ML · Bradley Cox (World Cup 39 gold medalist)
15 · DC · Franc Switzer (World Cup 15 gold medalist)
16 · DR · Evelyn Richards (World Cup 39 gold medalist)
17 · MC · Włodzimirz Tokay
18 · DC · Hoŋ In-jû (World Cup 41 silver medalist)
19 · DL · Antonio Gryglewski-Cebrat (World Cup 12 bronze medalist)
21 · DL · Níkos Papadiamántis
22 · GK · Ha Sûn-ji (World Cup 39 gold medalist & World Cup 41 silver medalist)
31 · FR · Billy Quigley (World Cup 12 bronze medalist)
37 · FR · Lance McFatridge

Coach: Alfreda Alesanka (World Cup 39 gold medalist & World Cup 41 silver medalist [as coach])

 

[The Babbage Islands]

Qualifying: Round 1 of 10

Group 1
Kaze Progressa (73) 3–1 Vilita (21)
Queer Poco el Mono Ara (89) 0–2 Demot (38)
Starblaydia (2) 3–2 Kingsford (61=)

  Group 1                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kaze Progressa                  1    1   0   0     3    1   +2     3
2 Demot                           1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
3 Starblaydia                     1    1   0   0     3    2   +1     3
4 Kingsford                       1    0   0   1     2    3   −1     0
5 Vilita                          1    0   0   1     1    3   −2     0
6 Queer Poco el Mono Ara          1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0

Group 2
Audioslavia (13) 1–0 Valladares (93=)
Oliverry (55) 1–1 Polar Islandstates (68)
Eauz (19) 1–1 The Lowland Clans (41)

  Group 2                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Audioslavia                     1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
2 Eauz                            1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Oliverry                        1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Polar Islandstates              1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  The Lowland Clans               1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
6 Valladares                      1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0

Group 3
Albundania (91) 0–1 Sarzonia (14)
Snub Nose 38 (61=) 1–0 Lovisa (45)
Oaker (80) 0–3 Jeru FC  (23)

  Group 3                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Jeru FC                         1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
2 Sarzonia                        1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
  Snub Nose 38                    1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
4 Albundania                      1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
  Lovisa                          1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
6 Oaker                           1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0

Group 4
Fmjphoenix (66=) 1–4 Rejistania (7)
Bears Armed (34) 1–1 Milchama (20)
Ad'ihan (50) 1–1 Septentrionia (81)

  Group 4                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Rejistania                      1    1   0   0     4    1   +3     3
2 Ad'ihan                         1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Bears Armed                     1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Milchama                        1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Septentrionia                   1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
6 Fmjphoenix                      1    0   0   1     1    4   −3     0

Group 5
Hockey Canada (90) 1–1 Bazalonia (40)
Wentland (64) 2–2 Ravenspire (69=)
The Babbage Islands (17) 1–0 Europa Britannia (15)

  Group 5                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Babbage Islands             1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
2 Ravenspire                      1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
  Wentland                        1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
4 Bazalonia                       1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Hockey Canada                   1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
6 Europa Britannia                1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0

Group 6
Sel Appa (75) 1–0 Jeruselem (11)
Dance 2 Revolution (51) 2–0 Lemmitania (32)
The Han Empire (37) 1–1 Jasi'yun (84=)

  Group 6                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Dance 2 Revolution              1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
2 Sel Appa                        1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
3 Jasi'yun                        1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  The Han Empire                  1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
5 Jeruselem                       1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
6 Lemmitania                      1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0

Group 7
Zwangzug (56) 2–3 Tanah Burung (47)
The Belmore Family (65) 2–4 Liverpool England (9)
Al Quds (95=) 1–0 Giant Zucchini (30=)

  Group 7                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Liverpool England               1    1   0   0     4    2   +2     3
2 Tanah Burung                    1    1   0   0     3    2   +1     3
3 Al Quds                         1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
4 Zwangzug                        1    0   0   1     2    3   −1     0
5 Giant Zucchini                  1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
6 The Belmore Family              1    0   0   1     2    4   −2     0

Group 8
Quakmybush (84=) 1–1 Errinundera (36)
Bedistan (3) 3–0 Akbarabad (78)
Crystilakere (58=) 0–0 Bostopia (27)

  Group 8                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Bedistan                        1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
2 Errinundera                     1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Quakmybush                      1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
4 Bostopia                        1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  Crystilakere                    1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
6 Akbarabad                       1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0

Group 9
Runaway Moose (76=) 2–2 Schiavonia (48)
EL CID THE HERO (93=) 1–2 Tadjikistan (52)
Svecia (29) 2–1 Ariddia (10)

  Group 9                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Svecia                          1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
  Tadjikistan                     1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
3 Runaway Moose                   1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
  Schiavonia                      1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
5 Ariddia                         1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0
  EL CID THE HERO                 1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0

Group 10
Tynelia (72) 2–3 Commerce Heights (6)
Cassadaigua (30=) 0–0 New Montreal States (49)
Crosshill (82) 0–0 Casari (44)

  Group 10                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Commerce Heights                1    1   0   0     3    2   +1     3
2 Casari                          1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  Cassadaigua                     1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  Crosshill                       1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  New Montreal States             1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
6 Tynelia                         1    0   0   1     2    3   −1     0

Group 11
Halfassedstates (74) 0–0 The Eagles Nest (57)
Total n Utter Insanity (12) 2–2 The Archregimancy (24)
Nethertopia (87=) 5–0 Brazillico (46)

  Group 11                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Nethertopia                     1    1   0   0     5    0   +5     3
2 The Archregimancy               1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
  Total n Utter Insanity          1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
4 Halfassedstates                 1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  The Eagles Nest                 1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
6 Brazillico                      1    0   0   1     0    5   −5     0

Group 12
Dennisov (71) 1–1 Sorthern Northland (18)
Cafundéu (16) 3–0 One Red Dot (42)
Yafor 2 (53) 1–1 The FSSO (95=)

  Group 12                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Cafundéu                        1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
2 Dennisov                        1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Sorthern Northland              1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  The FSSO                        1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Yafor 2                         1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
6 One Red Dot                     1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0

Group 13
Kura-Pelland (69=) 1–2 Qazox (35)
Bettia (28) 3–3 Oglethorpia (60)
Valanora (1) 0–1 Druida (83)

  Group 13                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Qazox                           1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
2 Druida                          1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
3 Bettia                          1    0   1   0     3    3    0     1
  Oglethorpia                     1    0   1   0     3    3    0     1
5 Kura-Pelland                    1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0
6 Valanora                        1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0

Group 14
Haraki (92) 0–0 Az-cz (25=)
Turori (39) 1–1 Squornshelous (5)
Vephrall (66=) 0–1 Kelssek (63)

  Group 14                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kelssek                         1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
2 Squornshelous                   1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  Turori                          1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
4 Az-cz                           1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
  Haraki                          1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
6 Vephrall                        1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0

Group 15
Dancougar (43) 1–1 The Holy Empire (4)
Candelaria And Marquez (25=) 2–1 Cockbill Street (76=)
The Sylvanaes Queendom (54) 2–2 Iansisle (87=)

  Group 15                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Candelaria And Marquez          1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
2 Iansisle                        1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
  The Sylvanaes Queendom          1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
4 Dancougar                       1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
  The Holy Empire                 1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
6 Cockbill Street                 1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0

Group 16
Aguazul (22) 3–0 Quohog (79)
Spaam (33) 0–1 Gesamtkuntswerk (84=)
Krytenia (8) 3–0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (58=)

  Group 16                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Aguazul                         1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
  Krytenia                        1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
3 Gesamtkuntswerk                 1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
4 Spaam                           1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
5 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega          1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0
  Quohog                          1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0

[Starblaydia]

"You know why your team didn't win the World's Fair Play Trophy?"

"Because, Juan," Simeone said, "your team well and truly dicked mine by four goals to nil in the second match, meaning we couldn't catch your perfect record?"

"It's because you didn't play."

"Come on, Juan, I was only organising the team, I could hardly pick myself in the number ten position, and who else in Starblaydi history - up until now, before you say anything - would have been able to wrap their brains around all those simulacra of the players?"

"Another simulacrum?" Juan rolled his eyes for effect. Sometimes he really did need to hit Simeone with the proverbial anvil to get him to understand. "A perfectly competent manager, you are, but you're a better player. And a two-time World Cup Winner, no less."

"But that's with the Holy Emp-" Simeone began to protest.

"Doesn't matter. The World Cup of Dreams, as far as the mundies are concerned, is taking place after the World's Fair Play Trophy, and as everything is in the Dreamed Realm you're allowed to have another crack at putting the team together. The one condition is that, this time, you play.."

"But who'll manage the team?"

"Lex Panarii won the World Cup twice as a manager for your team, so he's perfectly qualified. Why you didn't have Georges Blanc or Pedro Rujano in that position, I'll never know."

"I meant it to be a Hall of Fame thing, as well as balancing World Cup with AOCAF titles in the players. A bit of everything like the World Cup 60 team was an attempt to be."

"You never did do very well, Simeone, when you tried to spread yourself too thin. I always remember you being at your best when you were focussed on one thing, like scoring goals. Anyway, these ninety-six invites are based on the Spaam Ranking System, which as far as I can tell are made up Spam, bacon, sausage and Spam."

"You're making my hungry now, Tzimisces."

"Food!" Juan exclaimed, "That's a good idea. In fact, I'll go and get us some Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam."

"Dreamed Realm Takeaways are the best."

"Aren't they? Oh, and I seem to remember your first match in this World Cup of Dreams is against Kingsford. Don't go including Enrico Bigon in the team for old time's sake, please."

"Just because he was the first Starblaydi player to play abroad, and for a Kingsford team, doesn't mean even I would include him in a team. He wasn't that good. I wonder if we'll face Jingus Gonorrhea?" A look of disgust spread across Simeone's face. "I'm not so hungry any more, actually."

"Why?"

[Qazox]

An opening night win-

A 2-1 victory for Qazox over Kura-Pelland in the opener, and Qazox' two best scorers ever led the way by suprisingly NOT scoring tonight. In a simulacrum of Brazillico's national stadium; Kura-Pelland took the early 1-0 lead in the 33rd minute, as a bouncing shot skipped over the diving Marc Klick as the sellout crowd roared in appreciation for seeing K-P back on the pitch. But as they've done before, though not often enough, Qazox didn't fold under the pressure. With most of K-P's defense keying on Kallie Jaus and Matilda Swords, it allowed one of the former Qazoxian coaches on this team, Ryan Percy to slip past and tie the game at 1-all in the 41st minute. In the second half, K-P continued it's stance of not allowing Jaus or Swords to score or handle the ball in space. That strategy's flaw once again came to light in the 70th minute, when Daniel Spaatz broke free and Jaus found him alone at the top of the box for the game-winner, a stirring blast that just stayed under the left corner. K-P did manage to get a couple of good looks and shots in the final 5 minutes, but Marc Klick stood firm and Qazox escaped with the 2-1 win.

In other group action, Valanora was stunned by Druida 1-0 and Bettia/Ogelthorpia battled to a 3-all draw. Up next, Qazox will face Druida.

[Yafor 2]

[OOC: Ahh. Screw it. This isn't a comeback; frankly, I have no interest in that at all. This isn't even a celebration of Yaforite football (and its amazing propensity for losing in the second round of the World Cup). This is me, back Stateside for the holidays, taking some time off to post some stuff about long-forgotten players [we pause here to praise the wonderful efforts of my favorite other NSsporter from my real Uni, Zwangzug, whose incredible work in saving most of Jolt made this post possible] and maybe even get a roster or so down there. If you have quibbles about my selections...I'm amazed, because then you actually read my posts. So, without further ado, a prologue and a roster (sounds like a terrible film)!]

The look of confusion was back again. Raised eyebrows, creased forehead, pursed lips. He recognised it - it was his own expression, after all, placed firmly on his own blank face. He had that look often (when he had first, in fact!), but it was still a marvel to see it on the face of another. Well, not really another. Him, you know?

"Wait...how can you be me?" The voice was the same as well, that barely-cracking baritone, symptomatic of his youth. "I'm here. You're not here. Therefore you're not me. Isn't that how bodies work? Did someone change the rules of space and location when I wasn't looking?" Sarcasm to mask confusion. That was familiar as well. They were the same, after all.

"I'm you, older." The explanation was obvious, but a younger Hares had always had trouble grasping the obvious. "You just finished Cup of Harmony 17, right? Congrats on winning, by the way." The other Hares (well, that's what he was, after all. Another Hares Dalermo. He couldn't be the same one. He had no memory of meeting himself.) "I'm eleven years older. Forty-one, even. Much older." It was an easy calculation; world cup forty-seven minus world cup twenty-five. Yaforite time dilation took care of the rest. A Zwangzugian physicist would have loved the solution to that problem. Not that it was relevant.

"But how can I be looking at you? I don't see a TARDIS or Stargate or something around..." Now that was a more useful question. Honestly, he was amazed at the speed with which his youthful self had accepted his explanation - he had probably theorised it already. He remembered being younger, feeling the need to be superior to everyone, in every way. That compulsion had never left him, of course, but he had grown better at concealing it. Nowadays, no one ever argued with him. They just assumed that he was substantially more knowledgeable on every topic. It was a more comfortable way of winning fights; no need to fight the battles, just have the invincible army. The younger Hares would learn in time. He had, of course.

"No idea." His response was inadequate, but that was all he had to offer. "If I had to hazard a guess, it's probably some Dreamed Realm machinations. If they can do blancmanges and legends, they can do anything." He was pretty sure that his guess was correct, but there was no real way of checking. The Dreamed Realm was a miraculous invention, a complete fairytale, a fascinating mythos, and utterly made-up. All of them at once. If it could exist on so many planes of understanding, they could exist on the same spacial plane, after all! And was that not Ilsinha, the brilliant dribbler, hot-tempered suffragist, and brutally murdered beauty, passing along the ground, her patented glare of fury burning a path in the very air in front of her? If a dead woman could walk (or stride madly, it seemed), why could he not meet and speak with his younger self? Why not at all?

They were interrupted by the sound of a megaphone and a voice, well familiar from the just completed World Cup, that of Shaan Magerin. Of course he would know what was going on (or prepare some balm to soothe their fears). If any man could fix a problem of this sort, it would be Shaan Magerin. That man could command two hated nations with a single sound of his voice. Or "yell", even. Or his pacing along the sidelines (which would have powered more faster-than-light spaceships than the Einstein Rotational Drive). Or his phenomenal split-second judgements of others, which were always borne out. He didn't like Magerin very much (the Redeem Team had needed a real manager. He was a real manager - ask Parwood City!), but he could still respect the coach's talent.

From across the field, Yaforites trooped. He recognised old friends with whom he played (a young Gerod Flamer engaged in an animated discussion with a similarly-befuddled old Gerod Flamer, the Malar twins, still on the same wavelength as they ever were), younger players whom he had coached (most of the core of the team from the early-forties. From Prince Sebard's delirious expression, maybe forty-one? Or forty-three? The Sebard-Deguelas had had a series of beautiful, plump children [they do say that multi-racial children are the most beautiful. He wasn't married. He didn't know a lot of children.]. There were a couple he didn't recognise, either (a young girl, jumping and running happily, like any teenager? A hulking foreigner, probably a defender? Maybe a Sortherner?).

It was clear, though, both to him and, as he glanced in his peripheral vision, to his younger self as well, why they were here. This was some kind of all-time Yaforite team. They were in some kind of all-time tournament.

The Golden Wolves World Cup of Dreams Roster
Now with some comments for each position, too!

The player name is followed by where in their current timeline they are. For the most part this is just following a World Cup. For players, this is followed by their club at the time.

The formation is an incredibly-Yaforite 4-1-3-1-1, which often folds into a 4-4-1-1 when defending for long periods of time, while in attack often resembles something closer to a three-back, with the outside backs pushing up alongside the wingers. Like most Yaforite teams in memory, the style modifier is a -1, and, also like most Yaforite teams in memory, this is a very strong defensive side, who prefer a 1-0 victory to a 5-3 one.

The starting lineup (from left to right) will most likely be as follows: Juile; Vidanel, L. Riegan, Accursas, and Bahsir; Juhan; Otavias, Sebard, and Valinial; Ilsinha; Dariegan

Management Staff
Shaan Magerin (WC47) Manager-in-Chief
Gerod Flamer (CoH20) Assistant Manager
Hares Dalermo (WC47) Assistant Manager
Mosada Juhan (CMSC XXXIX) Assistant Manager
A fairly diverse management staff includes only one real-life pairing, that of the point-of-view character from the above prologue (Hares Dalermo) and Shaan Magerin. Gerod Flamer was first an assistant manager for the national team to Keron Alhrem, but his greatest success was as the full-time manager of the squad during Cup of Harmony 20, where the Golden Wolves lost in the final to Schiavonia, making them only one of three teams in history, at that time, to reach two Cup of Harmony finals. Juhan never coached the national team, actually, but he's here for his remarkable work in the last CMSC season on record, where he took a Caires Sports side which had barely qualified for promotion and led them on one of the greatest runs for any CSC side in the modern CMSC. That was also a surprisingly attacking side, so the former defensive midfielder is here, strangely, to improve their attacking potential.

There a few oddities of note: first, all three assistant managers are actually also on this team as a players (a sad commentary on the closed nature of the Yaforite football scene). As a result, if I actually post consistently (which is both possible and unlikely, given my own propensity for laziness), the plotline will be exploring that, mostly because the idea of seeing a younger version of yourself, what you would tell them, etc. is a fascinating one. Second, this Yaforite side will not be very consistent tactically in matches. Magerin is known for his very rapid (often early first-half) substitutions and changes of shape - his supporters call him a tactical genius, while his detractors prefer "annoying meddler" (the truth, as is its wont, is somewhere in-between). As a result, there will be a lot of substitutions and changes to fit opposing tactical formations. You have been warned.

Goalkeepers
*Imon Juile (WC41) Club Imperial
Amern S'toris (WC47) Marquez-Onwere
It speaks volumes, I think, that these two keepers are essentially the only two keepers in all of Yaforite National Team footballing history to get a somewhat significant number of caps, and that their most prominent clubs were both abroad (Cafundeu and Candelaria and Marquez, respectively). Yaforites never produced goalkeepers particularly well and these two certainly rise above the backlog to a fairly large extent. Juile was an excellent shot-stopper and fairly good with his arms and feet. His one big weakness (as both Dancougar and Casari found, to their benefit) was his ability to stop penalties. The penalty shootout in the second round of World Cup 40, in particular, was considered a predetermined outcome by many commentators, both due to the talent of Yuji Watanabe, and because of Juile's inability to stop penalties. It's a strange skill (or absence of skill) for a keeper of his abilities, but nonetheless, it is his biggest weakness.

In the event of late penalties, then, it would actually not be a surprise to see Magerin bring on his backup, the Candelarisian-based Amern S'toris. S'toris was one of the better keepers in the CMSC for most of his tenure (if we're allowed to engage in a little self-horn-tooting), but that was primarily due to his skill with his reflexes. S'toris can be flawed while in the air, and his small size (and, indeed, the small size of this entire team) can be a problem on things like set pieces, but S'toris is certainly not outclassed in relation to the other keepers here. Hopefully.

Left Defenders
*Damer Vidanel (WC43) Chelmar FC
Valid Cuoran (WC40) IYC Ajer
Speaking of weak positions for Yaforites, we present the granddaddy of all weak positions, left back. Seriously. I had to look for wages to attempt to find any left backs of ability and, instead, I'm stuck with these two. Vidanel was undoubtedly talented, with a big, physical body and extreme strength, but he was not particularly good at pushing up the field, and he only played for the national team for a few cups because of his age before getting noticed (as he spent most of his career in the lower divisions). Cuoran was similarly a talented player, but essentially in the exact opposite vein as Vidanel (which maybe is why Vidanel replaced him). He was a lithe, slim player who was fairly solid going forward (especially with the more defensive Ahsian Vanadrin in front of him), but struggled against more sizable opponents, high-paced attack, and players who forced him to defend on an island. All in all, not the best position for the Golden Wolves.

Central Defenders
*Lhatis Riegan (WC41) Chelmar FC [CAPTAIN]
*Herod Accursas (WC41) Chelmar FC
Hares Dalermo (CoH17) Ajer United
Kayleton Fishsnapperbotton (VI 3) Oblast Rangers
Look, the younger version of Hares Dalermo! "VI" is "Vahala Invitational", by the way. Fishsnapperbottom didn't play on any particularly notable Yaforite teams, but the Sorthern-based player (who was of Bostopian descent and an enemy of his brother, who was the Sorthern Northland captain, Kaeton) was a big, physical, strong defender. Yaforites don't produce that kind of defender and it wasn't his fault he was stuck with terrible players, so he's on. Dalermo is sort of the opposite - he's the standard-bearer for the defense for the Cup of Harmony 17 side, where the Yaforites were champions. That was a side driven by the defense, so it's little surprise that the man who revolutionised the position of centre defender due to his ball-handling ability out of the back is in the side. Also, with the first two on the teamsheet here, not a lot of Yaforites really got a chance to play centre back very often.

So, the first two. The older of the Riegan brothers (there are two sets of brothers on this team!) and his partner, the Jeruselemite-descended Herod Accursas. Anyone who knows the glory days of Yaforite football knows these two. Riegan's the captain of this side, much as he was the captain of most of his sides, as well as the dominant presence. Solid defender, comfortable on the ball, excellent covering on the tackle, and quick enough (at this stage in his career) to outrun a ball chipped over the top. Accursas was the bigger defender, much more at ease in the air, stronger, and with the interesting skill of being able to smash free kicks with exceptional power. The last was what endeared Accursas to many foreigners, as his free kicks were always of the "incredibly watchable" variety.

Right Defenders
*Nilan Bahsir (WC41) Cafundo de Juta
K'thalin Delovar (WC47) IYC Kaltar
Surprisingly, this one is actually a position of strength, though it wouldn't have been on the list of "strong positions" if you'd asked me before doing this exercise. Delovar was an incredibly pacey little player, as well as being the first female we've mentioned so far. Very strong going forward, able to cover most opposing outside midfielders (particularly given the rise of the 4-3-3 as a formation. Her ability to get forward and keep pace with outside forwards is perfect against that formation). She's be starting at left back but, sadly, she's up against one of the best defenders ever to put on a Yaforite uniform. Nilan Bahsir, one of the greatest defenders ever to play at Cafundo de Juta (and a really good commentator in his post-playing career, to boot). Good at shooting from distance and crosses and incredibly difficult to beat one-on-one, Bahsir is one of the players other teams attempted to keep the ball away from. In fact, that's the easy route to beating this Yaforite side - just focus on the other side of the pitch.

Defensive Midfielders
*Mosada Juhan (WC41) Chelmar FC
Atoras Riegan (WC47) IYC Toralen
The toughest decision for the selection committee (read: me) was whether or not to leave Aranar Made'er off or keep him and remove Atoras Riegan. The eventual decision went with the younger Riegan brother, but that only points to the quality of this position for Yaforites, as Maharta Kiranar or Klientar Loverado, or any number of other didn't even get a sniff. Juhan was a dynamic defensive midfielder, a whirlwind on the pitch who made sure that his sides won the little battles. Not an excellent passer and not very good going forward, but Juhan was a tremendous destroyer and often marked the opposing sides' best central attacking player out of the match. Riegan was never quite that level (nor at the level of his older brother), but the centre-defender-turned-centre-midfielder-turned-defensive-midfielder was a player with enough defensive and offensive ability on the ball to make other teams think twice before giving him too much space. Not as good one-on-one as Juhan, he was nonetheless the best of a fairly talented group of defensive midfielders on the Yaforite lists.

Left Midfielders
*Amario Otavias (WC43) Chelmar FC
Ahsian Vanadrin (WC40) IYC Ajer
It might not just be the defenders. It might just be that Yaforites are bad at things that require using the left foot? This is another very weak position for the Yaforites, as the presence of the utterly unspectacular Ahsian Vanadrin indicates. Solid. That's the only adjective that was ever used to describe Vanadrin. "Solid". That's not a compliment. That just means that he was completely forgettable. Otavias wasn't, of course, but he would not be on this team were he on the other side - as a pure dribbler or attacker, he was nothing amazing, though he was very good. Strong from set pieces (he'll take a fair number of the required ones) and a great penalty-kick taker (he'll take those as well), but he wasn't particularly speedy or a wonderful dribbler, just above average in a variety of areas. The hype was because he was being compared to, well, Ahsian Vanadrin.

Centre Midfielders
*Prince Sebard (WC41) IYC Ajer
Gerod Flamer (CoH17) Gigidorel FC
Ah. These guys know what they're doing. Prince was probably the greatest player ever to put on the uniform of the Golden Wolves and Flamer was the player who inspired him. The most notable quality (which they share) is how assured the two of them were, either on the ball or not. Flamer's outside shot was masterful, while Sebard was an incredible passer with phenomenal vision, but the defining feature for both players was the willingness to sacrifice their own skill/numbers for the good of the system. Against very attacking sides, both players will drop deep and play the role in a Yaforite double-pivot, something very few superstars would do. Similarly, both, while possessing the ability to push forward and score or dribble through defenders, often chose to use their own abilities as a smokescreen to trick the defence prior to a pass. They'll be very strong in the centre of the park, and players through whom the entire Yaforite offensive system will be routed.

Also, I'm embarrassed that at some point in the distant past I thought "Gigidorel FC" was a suitable name for anything.

Right Midfielders
*Ahershk Valinial (WC47) Caires Sports Club
Vashil Nahanor (WC40) Chelmar FC
Much like with the defenders, the midfielders have one side as a massive weakness and the other side as...not. Nahanor and Valinial are two players who are actually remembered in Yafor 2 and beyond, and the competition as to who would start was one of the most aggressive on the list (read: I picked Valinial just for CamCam). Nahanor was a Chelmar FC and Yaforite National Team mainstay who was essentially the prototypical winger: very quick and skilled at accelerating past players, good skills on the ball, and an excellent crosser. He was the type of winger who caused outside backs nightmares, because he was so good at getting past and then putting the ball in the box. Valinial, on the other hand, was a much more physical and aggressive player, good at bullying past defenders, then using his surprisingly silky touch on the ball to get past a centre back before depositing the ball into the back of the net with force. He was much more direct and, as a result, he was the centerpiece of most Caires Sports sides. Both were good on the defensive end of the ball as well, as their stamina allowed them to work at tracking back, something Yaforite wingers in general are good at. These two are bound at the hip for another reason: Matt Simpson actually plucked Valinial from the Chelmar FC youth side after watching his play on the Yaforite U-21 side. Chelmar loved him (and, indeed, though he was the next in their extensive production line of wingers), but chose to let him go for a fee which, in hindsight, was a pittance, due to the presence of a twenty-four year-old starter in front of him who they saw as a starter for a long time, Vashil Nahanor.

Attacking Midfielders
*Ilsinha (WC47) CA Condadore [VICE-CAPTAIN]
Jenny Majorheily-Orinova (DBC 13) Caires Sports Club
A pair of foreign-based females, Ilsinha and Jenny have a surprising amount in common. Both were incredible dribblers and the focal point of the attacks for the Golden Wolves sides. Both were the key attacker for their foreign club. However, attitude-wise, their differences were incredible, as well. Ilsinha was a firebrand, a player who called for and succeeded at female equality on the Golden Wolves. She was a dominant, Type-A character who controller her teammates for her own ends, didn't love passing, but was an offensive juggernaut for her career, prior to her grisly murder on the streets of a southern Yaforite city. Jenny was the opposite, a quiet, almost-boring girl who, due to her youth, focused more on superficial matters. She, however, was similarly talented, and a brilliant passer, as well. In terms of pure athletic and footballing talent, this position may be unrivaled on the team, and it is actually something of a surprise that Ilsinha starts over her much younger counterpart, let alone falls second-in-line for the armband, but it could be attributable to Magerin, who loved Ilsinha as a player and person for the entire duration of their period together as coach and player.

Strikers
*Vorin Dariegan (WC47) KT Hotspur
David Insfield (WC41) CF Mont-Pluie
Fernando Malar (CoH17) Ajer United
Francisco Malar (CoH17) Ajer FC
Let's have a minute to talk about the career of Vorin Dariegan, will we? When he first came up, in the twenties and thirties, Dariegan was young, impressionable, and built to be a second striker. He was most talented at player off another, passing it up, dropping deep, and all the rest. He then moved to the CMSC and KT Hotspur, and totally revamped his entire style of play, turning into a pure finisher and ball-winner, a solo striker who, due to the length of his career and the consistency of his goalscoring ability, became one of the highest scorers of the CMSC's modern era. This version of him is somewhere in the middle, in that brief period when he was both passer and finisher. The point, however, is that he's a player who, though hard work, changed his entire style of play and ended up playing into his early forties at a very high level. That's very, very impressive.

There are more backup strikers than any other position, but that's more because one cannot leave behind either of the Malar brothers, with their telepathic connection (or so it's said) and their equal numbers of goals scored. They were never successful playing with anyone else, but together, they were the mark (and the best known components of) those early Yaforite teams. Insfield was a pure poacher, a giant physical player of Bazalonian descent who out muscled defenders in the box and then slammed it home. He's actually the highest all-time scorer for the Golden Wolves, despite his short career with the National Team, and it's that achievement which gets him past other competitors like Zyante Meleherat and Iktam Velastros. Honestly, Yaforites don't really produce strikers very well, so he's the best of a thoroughly mediocre bunch, just like several of the positions on this team.

Kits, thanks to someone? I don't remember who. Whoever it was, thanks! They're awesome!

[Sorthern Northland]

Sorthern Northland all-time XI*

*Or possibly an ex-Port of Clotaire plus a couple of friends selection

Goalkeepers
Piran Hean (WC 45 - 52) - The first Sortherner to captain his side to a World Cup final. Played for Rothsbere Atletic, Bradwell Saints and Ousevale Borough before coaching spells with Sorthern Northland and a management stint with Ansernia Islands.

Defenders
Margh Bastian, right back (WC 46 - 51) - Pacy full back who started at East Reading before moving to Atlético Jutense and becoming a fan favourite in Cafundéu. Opening a brewery upon retirement before managing the Ansernian team alongside good friend Hean.
Alan Cooper, centre back (WC 44 - 49) - One of the great pioneers of Sorthern football in that he was among the first to be a great success abroad following his switch to Port of Clotaire in Candelaria And Marquez. A legend for both club and country, his career was tragically cut short following a breakdown after his family were the victims of a goose attack. Captained his country.
Brian Andrews, centre back (WC 45 - 51) - The partner of Cooper for so long at club and international level. Never had much pace but towards the end of his career his experience often made up for that. Form decreased somewhat following Cooper's retirement and many said that was no coincidence.
Santiago Fuentes, left back (WC 46 - 51) - Another of Port of Clotaire's Sorthern alumni, Fuentes inherited the national captaincy from Cooper. Though he was later stripped of it following a controversial incident in which he was seen drinking Bostopian beer. Whilst reasonably good, full backs never were Sorthern Northland's strongest point.

Midfielders
Siobhan Ní hÓgáin, right wing (WC 49 - 54) - The first woman to play internationally for Sorthern Northland, Ní hÓgáin not only broke down a barrier in Sorthern sport, but also raised the bar for wingers outside the country. Her greatest success came at Corcaigh, where she was regarded as one of Sorthern Northland's most successful club's best players.
Martijn Barentstochter of Bergkamp of Drotske of Groethuysen of Hackenbroch of Struycken, central midfield (WC 47 - 53) - Whilst his name had a lot to do with his popularity Martijn was always a highly regarded player. As far as carrying out the dirty work in midfield went Martijn was amongst the best in the business. Widely regarded as the star of Nethertopian CMSC club NAPPC.
Will Hooper, central midfielder (WC 47 – 54) - Sorthern Northland had some excellent playmakers over the years. Krofcky and Ní Cheallaigh were both names to delight the purists yet neither came close to having the class of Hooper. Over a number of years Hooper delighted many in the shirt of Port of Clotaire with his masterful displays not on how to play the game, but how to orchestrate the game. Has kept his connections to Clotaire by going on to manage the Clotairien Club in Ancharmunn.
Feng Shui, left wing (WC 36 - 45) - Perhaps the first internationally recognised star of Sorthern Northland. Feng Shui was there from the start as Sorthern Northland made their bow at the Baptism of Fire for World Cup 36. Feng Shui was already 82 years old by this point. Never had pace (what with being an octogenarian), but had an irresistible array of tricks and flicks with which he regularly beat far younger opponents. Finally hung up his boots following World Cup 45 at the age of 102.

Forwards
Lee Waywide (WC 40 – 45) - First emerged as a much mocked youngster before going on to make his name at the 4th Di Bradini Cup. Aside from almost causing a minor diplomatic incident when hitting Newmanistan's Empress Jessica during an airport held training session the Di Bradini Cup was the start of a fruitful career for Waywide. Having started out at the renowned St. Patrick's he went on to star for Port of Clotaire. One of Sorthern Northland's highest goalscorers, or possibly even the record holder.
Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa (WC 46 - 52) - Part of the fine line of players to tread the well worn path between St. Patrick's and Port of Clotaire, Arrigorriagakoa was widely regarded as second only to Waywide for many. A diminutive, pacy and prolific striker who always played with a smile on his face, Iñaki was as popular for his persona as he was his world class ability.

Manager
The shortlist of possibilities for the managerial role throws up a number of worthy options. Kevaughn Ó Criomhthain will forever be unmatched in that he was the first manager to guide Sorthern Northland to the World Cup finals. His death following the increasing militarism of Sorthern football during World Cup 40 however put a premature end to his legacy (or perhaps even enshrined it). Then there was Merginn Moffat, the Jeruselemite who turned Sorthern Northland into a regular feature of World Cups, or Eoin Ó Raghallaigh, the man who at the 27th AOCAF Cup lead the country to it's first title, or even Caio Meback, the Cafundulense vetren who laid down the foundations for what would become the world's dominant team.

The only choice however can be Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa, a man who came from children's football to lead Sorthern Northland to back to back World Cup victories.

[Zwangzug]

Alan sighs; the loss was hardly a surprise, at least based on the ranks he's still trying to wrap his head around. He's going to show Coach Mcgimpy, who's not quite as used to the Holy Empire yet, around. The coach is running late, but then, Alan has all the time between the worlds.

"So, if you're not chasing dreamed ladies, I have a puzzle for you."

"What are you...why would you insinuate I wanted to "chase" dreamed ladies? I am shocked and appalled at the very concept!"

"Lady, singular, I don't care. The Yaforite roster is in, you're invited to compute how long it would take twenty-two World Cups to elapse for them. But only if you want, of course."

Alan glances at the roster. "I'll pass it along."

"Right. Well. I'd hate to distract you from whatever it is that you're doing, so--"

"No, stick around. If you don't mind. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on myself."

"Sure," says Sue.

"So. We've been drawn into groups, and the groups have been seeded based on...the..."

"Consultation with the mystical SRS oracle."

"But the Spaam Ranking System was not incredibly mystical, it was--well-known, enough, before my time granted, but it exists. A way of comparing past teams."

"Right."

"Now, you said, the World Cups are still happening, outside of here. So the SRS totals that were used to seed all of us, they can only be accurate through a certain point. Well, as far as our group is concerned, they might well be all-time totals, but the others--there are active teams, somewhere. Aren't there?"

"Yes..."

"Better idea, the next hosts, are either of them here?"

"Both of them, actually."

"Right, so those can't possibly be their all-time totals, because they'll qualify for the next tournament and get an additional point if not more."

"I'm with you so far."

"So--whatever this point is, sometime beyond World Cup 59, the players have to come from at least before then, right? Which admittedly doesn't narrow it down much in any case."

"Alan?"

"Yes?"

"Look around you."

He does. "Dreamed Realm. Right. But--no, it's like--" He picks up the roster again. "Time dilation. Maybe it goes at different speeds, four years somewhere, two somewhere else, that's...contrary to what you'd expect, even you have to admit."

"To be sure."

"But it's still--time only going forward in one direction. Even if you had players from well before you started qualifying and earning SRS points, that would be strange..."

"Tercer hasn't qualified yet, has he? And he's here."

"No. But that still makes sense. It's the players from beyond--59 or whenever this cutoff is, that don't make sense. Because how do we know they're even telling the truth?"

"Is that really the most intriguing thing about the Bear-Belles?"

"They're strange-looking people, to be sure, but diversity has few limits."

"Alan?"

"Yes."

"This may be hard for you to believe, but not everyone is as concerned with being completely accurate and making complete sense as you."

"But that's--" He sputters, clenching the Yaforite roster until it crinkles in his hand. Then he uncrinkles it, suspiciously watching it lie on the ledge before him, unmoving.

"It's still just paper. Even here."

"Sue?" he asks, glancing over at Mcgimpy, who's finally getting there.

"Yes."

"You said we'd all probably forget this because we haven't caught up to whenever these seeding ranks are from yet."

"Yes."

"So when--specifically--are you coming from?"

"Excellent question," she says. "But I should go."

"Wait, you can't just--"

"Good luck with your tour," she says, and darts off.

[Sorthern Northland]

Many would look at Kieran Jarvis and see a man doing pretty well for himself. He had a large house in what was considered one of the more desirable places to live, a steady well paid job, a couple of nice though not particularly ostentatious cars and went on skiing holidays most years. Not bad for someone who had arrived as a young man with his only possessions being what few things he had managed to grab whilst fleeing what he had termed 'the disaster'. Then of course there was his family. He'd met and married a stunning local girl and with her had fathered a beautiful baby boy.

Brandon now was five coming on six, and reminded his father of himself. What few photos remain of Kieran's childhood revealed a stunning likeness between father and son and what was more the five year old son showed the same traits as his father had at that age. Brandon was a child who lived and breathed football. His first steps, much to his mother's consternation, had involved using a prized vase as a goalpost. That particular 'match' was brought to an abrupt by one smashed goal and a stern telling off. Since then however the youngster had blossomed, showing a natural nimbleness of foot and touch of control that would have only would be youth scout purring in appreciation.

There were no such scouts however. Not here, for Kieran's escape had taken him to a land where football was at best ignored, at worse discredited. Whether or not there had been ever been a footballing history here was impossible to tell though there were signs. Run down venues with a patch of grass that looked almost the right size for a football pitch, most of these had other uses now, but some, just a few, had just a couple of remnants that suggested that perhaps a stand had once stood or the foundations of something that could easily be a floodlight, or even bits of mangled metal that could feasibility have been turnstiles.

It was a far cry from the land that Kieran had grown up in. Football reigned supreme there. The best players were fêted as superstars, as heroes. The national team had even been amongst the world's best, with the trophies to prove it. Such status was what Kieran had grown up craving, and indeed what he looked destined to do. He'd played in his local clubs youth side, a club that was one of the best in the country, he'd captained them to a national title no less. Been called up to representative sides, been touted as a future international, and then 'the disaster' had happened, and with it his football career finished before it had even started. All experiences that Brendan would never have.

They would at least share one common aspect in their respective football lives however. Neither ever would make it. Neither would play professional football, neither would travel the world and beyond representing their country, neither would ever stand shoulder to shoulder with some of the most highly regarded players the world had to offer. Instead all they had to make do for their aspirations were the stories of greats from a bygone age and the fantasies of their dreams.

In those at least, father and son would be able to share and live out their desires as footballers.

[The Babbage Islands]

Eight women starting for the Yellow-and-Black. That's right, eight. I remember when I was first signed by FK Maribor there were only nine of us in all of professional football. The world is always full of surprises.

But even in this place of not-really-real Europa Britannia are no surprise. They won two World Cups, the ninth at home and the eleventh in Warnocks Wizards, and were second in the very first World Cup. They also carry the top seed in Group 5 here, though it appears to have been a close decision. I'm still wrapping my brain around two (losing, darn it all) Bumblebee finals yet to come.

So we go out and win one-nil. There's something about a 1-0 score that is invigorating no matter what happens. The match always feels intense for 90 minutes. When you lose, it hurts maybe a little more, but you have the balm of knowledge that you were in the fight. When you win, the release of all the pent-up tension is exhilarating. And when a dead guy scores the game-winner off the bench -- Magnus Svoboda (81') -- you're in dreamland somewhere.

Out on the pitch it was kinda familiar, kinda strange, sort of like the rest of the arrangements here. I've had a lot of experience in the 4-6, and I'm used to Orson Cook, Patty Cook, Kelli Alder and lately Jason Olson playing around me. Patty's not on the wing, though, that spot is taken by Dagrun Hallvarðsdóttir who is a young scoring machine. Granted, she didn't score this time, but she and Jason kept their keeper on his toes.

One more surprise, though. Richard Valdemar looked me up for lunch, and I don't think we spent five minutes on business. Just two friends chatting away as though this was all real. It was nice.

Smile!

[The Babbage Islands]

Qualifying: Round 2 of 10

Group 1
Vilita (21) 2–2 Kingsford (61=)
Demot (38) 0–0 Starblaydia (2)
Kaze Progressa (73) 0–3 Queer Poco el Mono Ara (89)

  Group 1                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Demot                           2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
2 Starblaydia                     2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
3 Queer Poco el Mono Ara          2    1   0   1     3    2   +1     3
4 Kaze Progressa                  2    1   0   1     3    4   −1     3
5 Kingsford                       2    0   1   1     4    5   −1     1
6 Vilita                          2    0   1   1     3    5   −2     1

Group 2
Valladares (93=) 3–1 The Lowland Clans (41)
Polar Islandstates (68) 1–1 Eauz (19)
Audioslavia (13) 3–1 Oliverry (55)

  Group 2                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Audioslavia                     2    2   0   0     4    1   +3     6
2 Valladares                      2    1   0   1     3    2   +1     3
3 Eauz                            2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
  Polar Islandstates              2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
5 Oliverry                        2    0   1   1     2    4   −2     1
  The Lowland Clans               2    0   1   1     2    4   −2     1

Group 3
Sarzonia (14) 4–0 Jeru FC  (23)
Lovisa (45) 2–0 Oaker (80)
Albundania (91) 0–0 Snub Nose 38 (61=)

  Group 3                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Sarzonia                        2    2   0   0     5    0   +5     6
2 Snub Nose 38                    2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
3 Lovisa                          2    1   0   1     2    1   +1     3
4 Jeru FC                         2    1   0   1     3    4   −1     3
5 Albundania                      2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
6 Oaker                           2    0   0   2     0    5   −5     0

Group 4
Rejistania (7) 1–1 Septentrionia (81)
Milchama (20) 6–2 Ad'ihan (50)
Fmjphoenix (66=) 1–3 Bears Armed (34)

  Group 4                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Milchama                        2    1   1   0     7    3   +4     4
2 Rejistania                      2    1   1   0     5    2   +3     4
3 Bears Armed                     2    1   1   0     4    2   +2     4
4 Septentrionia                   2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
5 Ad'ihan                         2    0   1   1     3    7   −4     1
6 Fmjphoenix                      2    0   0   2     2    7   −5     0

Group 5
Bazalonia (40) 0–0 Europa Britannia (15)
Ravenspire (69=) 1–4 The Babbage Islands (17)
Hockey Canada (90) 0–1 Wentland (64)

  Group 5                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Babbage Islands             2    2   0   0     5    1   +4     6
2 Wentland                        2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
3 Bazalonia                       2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
4 Hockey Canada                   2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
5 Europa Britannia                2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
6 Ravenspire                      2    0   1   1     3    6   −3     1

Group 6
Jeruselem (11) 1–0 Jasi'yun (84=)
Lemmitania (32) 1–1 The Han Empire (37)
Sel Appa (75) 2–0 Dance 2 Revolution (51)

  Group 6                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Sel Appa                        2    2   0   0     3    0   +3     6
2 Dance 2 Revolution              2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
3 Jeruselem                       2    1   0   1     1    1    0     3
4 The Han Empire                  2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
5 Jasi'yun                        2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
6 Lemmitania                      2    0   1   1     1    3   −2     1

Group 7
Tanah Burung (47) 4–2 Giant Zucchini (30=)
Liverpool England (9) 1–0 Al Quds (95=)
Zwangzug (56) 1–1 The Belmore Family (65)

  Group 7                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Tanah Burung                    2    2   0   0     7    4   +3     6
2 Liverpool England               2    2   0   0     5    2   +3     6
3 Al Quds                         2    1   0   1     1    1    0     3
4 Zwangzug                        2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     1
5 The Belmore Family              2    0   1   1     3    5   −2     1
6 Giant Zucchini                  2    0   0   2     2    5   −3     0

Group 8
Errinundera (36) 1–1 Bostopia (27)
Akbarabad (78) 0–0 Crystilakere (58=)
Quakmybush (84=) 2–3 Bedistan (3)

  Group 8                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Bedistan                        2    2   0   0     6    2   +4     6
2 Errinundera                     2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
3 Bostopia                        2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
4 Crystilakere                    2    0   2   0     0    0    0     2
5 Quakmybush                      2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     1
6 Akbarabad                       2    0   1   1     0    3   −3     1

Group 9
Schiavonia (48) 1–2 Ariddia (10)
Tadjikistan (52) 1–1 Svecia (29)
Runaway Moose (76=) 0–3 EL CID THE HERO (93=)

  Group 9                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Svecia                          2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
  Tadjikistan                     2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
3 EL CID THE HERO                 2    1   0   1     4    2   +2     3
4 Ariddia                         2    1   0   1     3    3    0     3
5 Schiavonia                      2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     1
6 Runaway Moose                   2    0   1   1     2    5   −3     1

Group 10
Commerce Heights (6) 1–0 Casari (44)
New Montreal States (49) 1–1 Crosshill (82)
Tynelia (72) 1–1 Cassadaigua (30=)

  Group 10                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Commerce Heights                2    2   0   0     4    2   +2     6
2 New Montreal States             2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
3 Cassadaigua                     2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
  Crosshill                       2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
5 Tynelia                         2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     1
6 Casari                          2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1

Group 11
The Eagles Nest (57) 2–1 Brazillico (46)
The Archregimancy (24) 3–0 Nethertopia (87=)
Halfassedstates (74) 1–2 Total n Utter Insanity (12)

  Group 11                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Archregimancy               2    1   1   0     5    2   +3     4
2 Total n Utter Insanity          2    1   1   0     4    3   +1     4
3 The Eagles Nest                 2    1   1   0     2    1   +1     4
4 Nethertopia                     2    1   0   1     5    3   +2     3
5 Halfassedstates                 2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
6 Brazillico                      2    0   0   2     1    7   −6     0

Group 12
Sorthern Northland (18) 2–1 The FSSO (95=)
One Red Dot (42) 2–0 Yafor 2 (53)
Dennisov (71) 3–1 Cafundéu (16)

  Group 12                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Dennisov                        2    1   1   0     4    2   +2     4
2 Sorthern Northland              2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
3 Cafundéu                        2    1   0   1     4    3   +1     3
4 One Red Dot                     2    1   0   1     2    3   −1     3
5 The FSSO                        2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
6 Yafor 2                         2    0   1   1     1    3   −2     1

Group 13
Qazox (35) 2–0 Druida (83)
Oglethorpia (60) 1–1 Valanora (1)
Kura-Pelland (69=) 0–1 Bettia (28)

  Group 13                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Qazox                           2    2   0   0     4    1   +3     6
2 Bettia                          2    1   1   0     4    3   +1     4
3 Druida                          2    1   0   1     1    2   −1     3
4 Oglethorpia                     2    0   2   0     4    4    0     2
5 Valanora                        2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
6 Kura-Pelland                    2    0   0   2     1    3   −2     0

Group 14
Az-cz (25=) 1–0 Kelssek (63)
Squornshelous (5) 2–2 Vephrall (66=)
Haraki (92) 2–0 Turori (39)

  Group 14                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Haraki                          2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
2 Az-cz                           2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
3 Kelssek                         2    1   0   1     1    1    0     3
4 Squornshelous                   2    0   2   0     3    3    0     2
5 Vephrall                        2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
6 Turori                          2    0   1   1     1    3   −2     1

Group 15
The Holy Empire (4) 2–0 Iansisle (87=)
Cockbill Street (76=) 1–0 The Sylvanaes Queendom (54)
Dancougar (43) 1–1 Candelaria And Marquez (25=)

  Group 15                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Holy Empire                 2    1   1   0     3    1   +2     4
2 Candelaria And Marquez          2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
3 Cockbill Street                 2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
4 Dancougar                       2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
5 The Sylvanaes Queendom          2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
6 Iansisle                        2    0   1   1     2    4   −2     1

Group 16
Quohog (79) 2–4 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (58=)
Gesamtkuntswerk (84=) 0–0 Krytenia (8)
Aguazul (22) 2–2 Spaam (33)

  Group 16                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Aguazul                         2    1   1   0     5    2   +3     4
2 Krytenia                        2    1   1   0     3    0   +3     4
3 Gesamtkuntswerk                 2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
4 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega          2    1   0   1     4    5   −1     3
5 Spaam                           2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
6 Quohog                          2    0   0   2     2    7   −5     0

[Zwangzug]

It's like the agenda has nothing to do with all the things they actually would have to do, playing at home. Eat? Sleep? Do they even have to do that? Practice, sure, a little bit, but most of the team knows each other--they just don't last long enough to get much new blood in, apparently.

Listen to well-meaning but clueless foreigners asking if she belongs in Group 12. Tell them no, for the last time, she's not Sorthern.

Listen to Eddie get all excited about having heard of the other team and talk about how cool the entire premise is.

Listen to Andrew mutter about how stupid the entire premise is.

Listen to Mal make some snide remarks.

Listen to Peter try and change the subject and engage Mal with regards to the finer points of restaurant entrepreneurship.

Play football. Concede. Watch an equalizer.

Get pulled into conversation with surprisingly-pleasant benchwarmer. Listen. Follow along. Learn that it's Rube's first time at least in this part of the Dreamed Realm. Nod head politely. Tolerate political enthusiasm. Learn that in his experience, Lutherans don't say the Hail Mary, that's more of a Catholic thing.

Consider texting domestic teammate to break news. Curse patchy interdimenstional signals.

Listen to Brendan informing yet another well-meaning but clueless foreigner that this is not group 12. Wonder if he's actually trying to speak Spanish. Wonder whether this is just the Holy Empire being magical and translating everything.

Wonder what this foreigner wants, since he hasn't noticed her.

Look up and down group 7 again. Group 7, hadn't the real team been drawn there so many times in the real world? It's the sort of thing numerologists go on about. Marvel at the presence of the second and third champions. They won when the game was still young! Before the fadeouts, the nightmares, the bitterness...they could have it all, they could speak their mind and get lucky without fear.

Wonder whether, beyond time and space, she might be brave enough to do the same.

Listen to the retreating foreigner, singing maybe under his breath...

When you're silent for a moment and it's not by your own choice and you fear that you won't be able to get back your lost voice, when you make the game look easy and can't quite explain it's hard, when nobody will listen to your whispers once you've starred...

Ask “Well? Then what?”

Pause because she doesn't expect him to stop, whirl, extend a hand. "I'm getting there. Name's Sosimo."

"I'm Natalie."