The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

by **Frustrated Franciscans** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 8:52 am

The Three Franciscans enter the bar.
"Why am I here," Friar John asked.
"Because you followed us in here," Brother Maynard replied.
"Yes, but the doctors told me a I have an ulcer," Friar John replied. "I can't drink booze."
"Don't worry," Brother Maynard insisted, "I'll drink your booze for you."
"Oh that was why I am here," Friar John replied. "I have to babysit you two."
"Hey is that her hottness over there," Brother Maynard asked.
"You know that is one of the reasons why I have an ulcer," Friar John replied.
"Ulcers are not caused by worry but generally because of a virus," Friar Tuck replied.
"And who knows what viruses that woman has," Friar John replied.
"You're definitely no fun," Brother Maynard replied.
"That's why he has an ulcer," Friar Tuck said.

by **CreepyCut** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:02 pm

Creepycut slides into the bar, undetected and sits in a corner.
"Lovely..."

by **Biosphere 1** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 8:38 pm

...BOO!

Acorns for everyone!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

by **Separatist Peoples** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 6:23 am

Bell turns from his goat hunt and chucks his makeshift club at the Biospherian representative, who is busy throwing nuts at everybody.

Defeatedly, Bell slumps into a stool between Steph Zalweke and Fleet Marshal Enta, waving a bartender over.

"That goat is too smart for it's own good."

by **The Palentine** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:46 pm

Empress Jhessan sighed again and rolled her eyes. She soon recovered and gave Susa a rather fetching and seductive smile as she replied,
"Awwww you remembered, sugar. Thought to be perfectly honest I had no intention of marrying any of you at that time. it was all for the ratings."
She smiled sweetly at the wannabe Xt'Tap jihadist as she took another sip of her Blue Marlin. She then purred most seductively,
"However there are some benefits of that little incident. I'm unmarried and unattached, if you know what I mean, and I hope you do. Furthermore, I'm feeling kind of randy, none of my playmates are available, and as the song says...you're the only cowboy in this place."

She took another sip before continuing most seductively,
"So cowboy, if you're up for a rodeo, meet me in the 18th floor woman's bathroom in five minutes. Just remember two things.....I hope you've been working on your cardio, and second leave the suicide vest at home...Major Gunns will be conducting a thorough search to make sure you're clear of all devices."
Empress Jhessan finished her drink and then leaned over to kiss Susa(well actually, it looked like she was trying to remove his tonsils with her tongue). Then she stood up and walked out of the bar with her patented 'here it is boys come and get it walk'.

by **Ainocra** » Tue Feb 24, 2015 5:11 pm

The Marshal watches the empress leave with amusement. "Tis alright Bell, here have a drink of scotch."
Alcon again proffers the half full bottle. "Good stuff."

Under the table the Marshal fishes some loose change from his pocket to feed to Chuckie.

by **Sierra Lyricalia** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 11:59 am

Steph gives Bell a sympathetic look before glancing around the rest of the establishment.

"Between you, the friars, and the poor Vice-Colonel, there is a seriously depressing vibe in this room. THIS room, not the damn debating chambers, but the one public refuge of debauchery and fun in this Boschian horror they call a WA headquarters. So. Pardon me, barkeep - tequila shots for me and him - he made quorum, you know! - you in, Fleet Marshal? - and, um... drop three shots of Frangelico in a pitcher of White Russians for the Franciscans yonder. Even an ulcer oughta be soothed and swaddled by that little concoction. Mother's milk!"

by **Ainocra** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 12:21 pm

I'm in, always up for a good quorate celebration

by **Omigodtheykilledkenny** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 2:10 pm

The Palentine wrote:Empress Jhessan finished her drink and then leaned over to kiss Susa(well actually, it looked like she was trying to remove his tonsils with her tongue). Then she stood up and walked out of the bar with her patented 'here it is boys come and get it walk'.

For a moment Susa just sat there, watching after her, his face registering an almost lethal combination of shock and horniness. This had to be the swiftest close in his entire life -- and in complete defiance of what a certain VP had foretold years ago: apparently the empress would go for it if he was the last man on Earth! In your face, Antigone Morgan!

Triumphantly, Susa downed his Arrogant Bastard Ale in one swig, wiped his mouth, then sprang up to catch up with her -- followed, indubitably, by the entire WA press corps...for anything involving spurring the combined rage of Captain Chiang and Manuelo Fernanda (and even Empress Jhessan herself, if Susa made the wrong move) was sure to be the Story of a Lifetime.

by **Ainocra** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:06 pm

The Marshal watches Susa run out and chuckles. "What you think his chances are?"
Alcon surreptitiously feeds some pocket change to Chuckie under the table. "Barkeep Next round is on me, and Nigel's drinks are on me for the rest of the night."

by **Imladris Island** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:11 pm

Looking for a place to relax after a tumultuous day in the Assembly, Fenrin cautiously looked up at the sign. He had never even heard of the Strangers' Bar up until a few days ago. He heard some fellow colleagues from the snakepit discussing it's virtues, or rather lack thereof. After listening to the countless arguments, proposals, and counter-proposals, he was due for a fresh drink, and this seemed to be the only suitable locale close enough to the Assembly to allow himself to rush back in case any legislation was snuck through under some of the lesser-known, but equally important, nations' noses.

As he walked in, he noticed the...uncouth...atmosphere, and clientele for that matter, right off the bat. Friars, field marshals, empresses, and even the worst of them all: the press corps. What was this, some sort of bad joke? To top it off, some crazed looking dignitary ran out past him, with the entire press corps following him. What was that look in his eyes? Desperation?

"Oh well, I may as well join in," he lamented.

After all, he had heard that this placed served a delicious Bloody Mary. The spicier the better...

by **Separatist Peoples** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:15 am

Ainocra wrote:The Marshal watches the empress leave with amusement. "Tis alright Bell, here have a drink of scotch."
Alcon again proffers the half full bottle. "Good stuff."

Under the table the Marshal fishes some loose change from his pocket to feed to Chuckie.

Bell gratefully accepts a swig of good scotch as the tequila shots arrive. "Might as well enjoy the scotch before numbing our tongues with this stuff."

Passing the shots out between the three of them, he raised the first glass.

"To Looting and Pillaging! Er, the law, not the...uh...whatever."

Bell upturns his tequila glass, feeling cheap tequila and expensive scotch mingle oddly in his stomach. Chuckie, temporarily forgotten by his master, kept gorging himself on "snacks" from the Field Marshal, adding to a spread that would have made a garbage disposal proud.

Bell considers Steph's comment on the atmosphere as the booze slowly erodes the first layer of social inhibitions in his brain. "Y'know, Steph, Enta, we could probably spice things up in here if the mood is too low for your tastes. I actually got a care package from my cousin, and it included the best case of the family recipie I ever tasted!"

He pulls out a large flask and uncorks it, releasing a golden aroma that brought to mind sunny days and spring breezes, and just the smallest of hints of thunder. "Don't let it fool you, it kicks like four mules on acid."

by **Araraukar** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:24 am

Separatist Peoples wrote:He pulls out a large flask and uncorks it, releasing a golden aroma that brought to mind sunny days and spring breezes, and just the smallest of hints of thunder. "Don't let it fool you, it kicks like four mules on acid."

"Benjamin, are you trying to cause brain deaths of other ambassadors again?" Janis asked from a couple tables over. She was into her third combination of white-pill-with-cup-of-cocoa and was feeling quite amicable.

by **The Palentine Jaegermonster Corps** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 11:40 am

The door of the bar bursts open and five monsterous looking men wearing immaculate uniforns and snazzy hats walk inside. The bar regulars look a the "men" with some apprehension, as they are recognized as members of the Palentine's infamous Jaegermonster Corps. One peals off from the group and heads to the bar while the rest grab a table. The Jaeger(who answers to the name of Hans) says to Jimmy,
"Barkeep! De lads und Hy need some Ale, und a coople uf bug pies pleeze!"
Hans goes over to the Jaeger's table and waits for the wait-staff to bring over the order.

by **Imladris Island** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:22 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell gratefully accepts a swig of good scotch as the tequila shots arrive. "Might as well enjoy the scotch before numbing our tongues with this stuff."

Passing the shots out between the three of them, he raised the first glass.

"To Looting and Pillaging! Er, the law, not the...uh...whatever."

Bell upturns his tequila glass, feeling cheap tequila and expensive scotch mingle oddly in his stomach. Chuckie, temporarily forgotten by his master, kept gorging himself on "snacks" from the Field Marshal, adding to a spread that would have made a garbage disposal proud.

Bell considers Steph's comment on the atmosphere as the booze slowly erodes the first layer of social inhibitions in his brain. "Y'know, Steph, Enta, we could probably spice things up in here if the mood is too low for your tastes. I actually got a care package from my cousin, and it included the best case of the family recipie I ever tasted!"

He pulls out a large flask and uncorks it, releasing a golden aroma that brought to mind sunny days and spring breezes, and just the smallest of hints of thunder. "Don't let it fool you, it kicks like four mules on acid."

Fenrin adjusted his black robes, typical of a government official from Imladris Island. As he prepared to sit down at the bar, a delightful aroma caught his nose. It reminded him of a concoction his father used to make, although less striking to the senses.

Muttering under his breath, "Could it be that someone else from Imladris is here as well?," Fenrin turned toward the surprising smell. His gaze rested on a table of three ambassadors, who seemed to be much more at ease with this environment than he was. None of the ambassadors looked familiar, however, and none of them had the garb, nor ears, typical of the natives from his small country. He smiled inwardly at the one ambassador's comment of "kicking like four mules;" clearly they had never tried the drought from his own locale, and he doubted they would be able to weather it's potent effects.

Reaching into a hidden pocket of his robes, he searched for the hidden flask that he normally carried. Would the barkeep mind if he imbibed in some outside drink? Fenrin decided no, or if the barkeep did mind, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

by **Ainocra** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:20 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
Ainocra wrote:The Marshal watches the empress leave with amusement. "Tis alright Bell, here have a drink of scotch."
Alcon again proffers the half full bottle. "Good stuff."

Under the table the Marshal fishes some loose change from his pocket to feed to Chuckie.

Bell gratefully accepts a swig of good scotch as the tequila shots arrive. "Might as well enjoy the scotch before numbing our tongues with this stuff."

Passing the shots out between the three of them, he raised the first glass.

"To Looting and Pillaging! Er, the law, not the...uh...whatever."

Bell upturns his tequila glass, feeling cheap tequila and expensive scotch mingle oddly in his stomach. Chuckie, temporarily forgotten by his master, kept gorging himself on "snacks" from the Field Marshal, adding to a spread that would have made a garbage disposal proud.

Bell considers Steph's comment on the atmosphere as the booze slowly erodes the first layer of social inhibitions in his brain. "Y'know, Steph, Enta, we could probably spice things up in here if the mood is too low for your tastes. I actually got a care package from my cousin, and it included the best case of the family recipie I ever tasted!"

He pulls out a large flask and uncorks it, releasing a golden aroma that brought to mind sunny days and spring breezes, and just the smallest of hints of thunder. "Don't let it fool you, it kicks like four mules on acid."

Alcon smiles broadly. "Only four mules?" With a twinkle in his good eye the Fleet Marshal slides his now empty shot glass over. "To looting ad pillaging."

by **Sierra Lyricalia** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:07 pm

"Hoooooo!"

Steph grimaces and slaps her empty shot glass down on the bar. As the aroma of cherry blossoms, cut grass, and warm rain wafts over, she pauses and unscrews her face from what the cheap agave did to it - the tequila wilting before the intoxicating power of the coming thaw.

"Now that is something you don't get a whiff of every day. I dunno what on earth it is, but it's calling to me. Now, where's a clean glass when you... ah."

Seeing no staff nearby, Steph stands up on her stool's footrest, leans over the bartop, and slides a brandy snifter out of the overhead rack to hand to Bell. She gets a second glass, and then a third. Sitting back down, she leans over to take another sniff of the unadulterated springtime wafting out of the flask.

"Mules or no mules, that smells fantastic, Benjamin. I'm in. What'd you say the stuff is called?"

OOC: Seriously, you read my damn mind. It's 13 Fahrenheit a few feet behind me, with an expected nightly low of 5 (-15 C). I'm ready for some damn springtime now!

by **Separatist Peoples** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:11 am

Sierra Lyricalia wrote:"Hoooooo!"

Steph grimaces and slaps her empty shot glass down on the bar. As the aroma of cherry blossoms, cut grass, and warm rain wafts over, she pauses and unscrews her face from what the cheap agave did to it - the tequila wilting before the intoxicating power of the coming thaw.

"Now that is something you don't get a whiff of every day. I dunno what on earth it is, but it's calling to me. Now, where's a clean glass when you... ah."

Seeing no staff nearby, Steph stands up on her stool's footrest, leans over the bartop, and slides a brandy snifter out of the overhead rack to hand to Bell. She gets a second glass, and then a third. Sitting back down, she leans over to take another sniff of the unadulterated springtime wafting out of the flask.

"Mules or no mules, that smells fantastic, Benjamin. I'm in. What'd you say the stuff is called?"

OOC: Seriously, you read my damn mind. It's 13 Fahrenheit a few feet behind me, with an expected nightly low of 5 (-15 C). I'm ready for some damn springtime now!

“Gravediggers” Bell said ominously, pouring about a jigger into each glass, spilling only a single drop. The liquid, a blend of various homebrews, was a clear, golden liquid that smelled sweetly in the glasses of meadows and fresh air. Lifting his glass, Bell toasts, “Mud in your eye, friends!”

He drained the glass in one gulp, the Gravedigger running refreshingly down his throat to his belly, which, after a second of satisfaction, erupted into a veritable thunderstorm of pounding hammers and tingling dances of lightning where the alcohol simply effervesced. Bell pounded on the bar a few times, eyes watering, and wheezed a bit.

“Ol’ Jeremy must have replaced that leaky gasket in his still. That’s the best stuff yet to come out of his rusty old copper monster. Good old Dew of the Mountain moonshine and a number of homemade blended liquors. A guaranteed bad-decision maker.” As he spoke, the single drop that had run down the glass was busy boring a hole in the bar’s varnish.

Looking over at his friend’s faces, he added reassuringly “Its good, but that first gulp is a doozy, and it hits you before you’d expect it.” His eyes were already starting to unfocus a bit. “If nothing else, it’s a hoot to give to the unsuspecting.”

As the tears cleared out of his eyes, Janis Leveret caught Bell’s attention. “Janis! It’s been too long! Come and join us, we have Gravediggers and irresponsible ideas!”

by **Ainocra** » Fri Feb 27, 2015 10:44 pm

Grinning Alcon raises his glass and tosses the shot off. "Holy mother of Prego that's good!"
Blinking tears out of his one good eye he wheezes out. "You gotta put me in touch with that guy."

by **Sierra Lyricalia** » Sat Feb 28, 2015 1:20 pm

Still unable to get over the heady aroma of the spirits in her glass, Steph swirls it around for a few seconds more before draining it. She shakes her head convulsively for a moment, jerks her left arm once, and finally relaxes on her barstool once more.

"Holy shit. Now that is somethin'. I know better than to ask for a family recipe, but daaamn. That's a nice thing to savor while I get outside to the steps of the Vastivan pool. Neville? A half-bottle of Romulan ale, and a forty of Altair water? No, that's not my usual poison. Thanks."

Steph stands, steps off balance for a moment, and recovers her footing.

"Got some news, gentlemen. Gotta pour one out for... well, a legend in the astronaut and diplomat corps. Heh. Funny, that. Never thought I was copying that career path so exactly, but there it is, I guess. Never met the guy, but he's from my own hometown too, so... gotta pay respects."

She grabs the two bottles, one in each hand, and turns to leave.

by **Kingdom of the Polar Bear** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:07 pm

Aurora looks around the establishment at the craziness going on and says, "Man glad i'm not stoned or else things would really be messed up to me,"

by **Frustrated Franciscans** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 7:42 pm

Brother Maynard sips a pint of Guinness while reading this large book. "So what do you call the combined influences of both Hobbes and Locke," he asks Friar Tuck.
"No Idea," Friar Tuck replied.
"Hobblelockean."
"What?"
"Hobblelockean," Friar Tuck insisted. "Say it three times fast."
"You're drunk."
"The World Assembly is a Hobblelockean Gnometopian Tyranny of the Fluffies!"
"Definitely Drunk."
"And you?"
"I definitely need another Guinness! Perhaps then you will make sense."

by **Ainocra** » Wed Mar 04, 2015 12:43 am

The Fleet Marshal's pocket beeps twice. "whazzat?"
Drunkenly he fumbles in his pocket producing a holocommunicator. "I got a message."
Pressing a button in it the image of the Marshal's adjutant appears. "Sir your repeal has made quorum."
Struggling to focus his one good eye the Marshal nods solemnly. "Very good, keep me posted."
Stuffing the still active communicator back into his pocket he proclaims loudly "Next round is on me!"

by **Retired WerePenguins** » Wed Mar 04, 2015 7:36 pm

A completely naked elderly man, wearing nothing but two orange arm bands and a GPS monitoring bracelet on his leg, enters the Stranger's Bar.

"I'm back," he announced as he headed towards the bar.

"And you are," a patron asked. "Forgive me, but I can't place the uniform."

"I'm Robert Brown," the naked man replied. "Past First Husband of the Totally Naked Fraternity of Retired WerePenguins!"

"And currently accused of acts of pedophilia," replied one of two uniformed female guards who follow Robert into the Bar.

"Are you sure we can let him in here," the other female guard asks.

"I'm sure it's fine. It's a bar. They don't allow minors in here, do they?"

"I've got my hands on the punishment remote, just in case."

Robert smiled as he heard the remark of the guard. The punishment mode of the tracking device might be considered a "weapon" in the technology of the weapon nullifier, or at least he hoped that was the case.

by **Retired WerePenguins** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:50 pm

Former Ambassador Flash Blonde enters the bar, fully clothed, although oddly so.

"Hey Father in Law," he exclaims, seeing the naked Robert Brown, "Why are you naked? Don't know that nudity is only required within the nation? Some people still think nudity is disgusting, you know."

"Prison regulation ordinace 557 457 653 221," one of the guards replied, "which says, 'Prisoners and accused awaiting trial must wear prison uniforms at all times even when outside of the prison facilities.' With the adoption of the public nudity requirement laws, the uniform was adjusted accordingly. Thus all prisoners must wear nothing but an orange armband."

"That doesn't seem fair," Flash objected.

"Law is never supposed to be fair," the guard replied.

"So what's up for debate?"

"You don't want to know," Robert replied. "I think they are discussing nuclear explosions in space."

"Cool," Flash replied. "I love explosions in space. Did I ever tell you how I saved the universe?"

"About a million times," Robert replied.

The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

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