The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Sierra Lyricalia]

<toasting>

Steph raises her glass and then drinks. She remains silent, her brow furrowing almost imperceptibly.

[Tahkranul]

<toasting>

Steph raises her glass and then drinks. She remains silent, her brow furrowing almost imperceptibly.

Este leans in towards Steph a quietly asks from behind her glass, "What troubles you, darling?"

[Umeria]

OOC: Cubbins would toast with the rest of you if he had a glass. Unfortunately, the only things in his hands are a comic book, and a muffin. I'm tempted to say "to drinks not present".

[Merni]

Ambassador Sir Ripon Spers walks into the bar, tired out from debating the whole day. He holds his briefcase in his hand.
"A mug of Guinness please."
After taking a swig, he feels a bit better.
"To the idiots of the WA, without whom it would be a terribly boring place." he says, raising the mug.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Fairburn: I cannot believe it! I knew that most of the Ambassadors here couldn't read, but the Excidians? I always assumed that they were literate, yet they've responded to the wrong draft! I've been lied to all life! LIED TO!!!

Neville: (enters) Ah, there you are. What gives?

Fairburn: Go away! There is no sanity or justice in this place! I've been duped, deceived, hustled, made a fool! I'm surrounded by idiots! Why is there no person here who's like-minded?

Neville: I'm relieved, quite frankly. Could you imagine a world where there were two of you?

"To the idiots of the WA, without whom it would be a terribly boring place." he says, raising the mug.

Neville: Oh, crud.

Fairburn: Can this be true? Do my ears deceive me?

Neville: Well done, Ambassador...um, Ambassador Whatshisname. You've set him off. I'll be going. (exits)

Fairburn: (raises glass) To Ambassador Whatshisname!

[Merni]

Ripon grits his teeth. "Thank you for the toast, Fairburn. Please do not call me Ambassador Whatshisname. In my country, mine is a perfectly acceptable name." he says, drinking the last of his Guinness.
"Also, I just realise that I've been looking at the wrong draft of your resolution as well. Sorry about that. I assure you I'm literate."
He opens his briefcase, takes the top sheet out of the sheaf of papers and throws it in the bin.
"Oh, what the ****." he curses, realising he's thrown away the wrong document.

[Araraukar]

Ripon grits his teeth. "Thank you for the toast, Fairburn. Please do not call me Ambassador Whatshisname. In my country, mine is a perfectly acceptable name." he says, drinking the last of his Guinness.

"If you want people to call you by your name, you ought to let them know what it is, mister Whatsyourname," Janis pointed out, amused. "I am Janis Leveret, by the way. Using my first name works best, but if you insist on last name, it's miss Leveret."

[Herby]

"To the idiots of the WA, without whom it would be a terribly boring place." he says, raising the mug.

Hey hey hey HEY just ehhhhh just to be clear here, who the hell are you callin' idiots bub?

"Also, I just realise that I've been looking at the wrong draft of your resolution as well. Sorry about that. I assure you I'm literate."
He opens his briefcase, takes the top sheet out of the sheaf of papers and throws it in the bin.
"Oh, what the ****." he curses, realising he's thrown away the wrong document.

Heh. Heh heh heh heh. So you really are one of us idiots, ain'tcha?

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Steph raises her glass and then drinks. She remains silent, her brow furrowing almost imperceptibly.

Este leans in towards Steph a quietly asks from behind her glass, "What troubles you, darling?"

Steph raises an eyebrow at Este as one corner of her mouth tilts up in amusement. "Not bad. You a shrink in your former life? Or a barkeep?"

She takes a swig of beer and continues. "Just one o' those stupid, stupid, shitty things. My old ship, the Edward Abbey, was carrying out OSRI* on a tramp mining operation - basically just make sure everything's above-board, they're pulling the same elements they're filing in the live claim, not poaching someone else's rock, not smuggling anything..." Steph waves her hand dismissively. "Pretty routine, even if the target thinks it's gonna get away with smuggling at T-Zero*. Problem was, these yahoos couldn't find a qualified programmer to run their mining bots, so they winged it. Well, one of the inspection team got too close to one o' the bots, and it smelled the minerals in his suit, like they always do. But shitty code updates, bad kludgy hacking, dipshit search terms... no safety cutoffs or pattern recognition. Fuckin' bot cut right through the poor kid's helmet before anyone knew it was even on him."

Steph glowers.

"Fuckin' amateurs. I trained the kid on SOWS* and OCIWS* myself. Combat's one thing, but this fuckin' piddling avoidable shit..."

She sighs heavily, then drains her beverage.

"Friends not present, indeed. Here or anywhere else."

*OOC:
Jargon more or less unavoidable in this narration, slight apologies.
T-Zero = Time of commencement of operation
OSRI = Operational Safety & Resource Inspection. Pronounced "OZ-ree"
SOWS = Squad Optical Weapons System i.e. an unwieldy but powerful laser rifle
OCIWS = Optical Close-In Weapons System i.e. ship defense lasers used to vaporize, ablatively divert, or incapacitate bullets, micrometeoroids, missiles, etc. Pronounced "OH-cues"

[States of Glory WA Office]

Ripon grits his teeth. "Thank you for the toast, Fairburn. Please do not call me Ambassador Whatshisname. In my country, mine is a perfectly acceptable name." he says, drinking the last of his Guinness.

"If you want people to call you by your name, you ought to let them know what it is, mister Whatsyourname," Janis pointed out, amused.

Fairburn: Indeed. Just look at me, for example. How big was my entrance?

Neville: (entering the Bar) Ah, here's an Ambassador I don't believe we've met yet! Greetings, my name is Neville and this is Ambassador Fairburn.

Fairburn: Our current proposal is lacking in comments right now. Perhaps you should stop by sometime?

Neville: Well, we do have one delegation that has participated in the debate from the very start...

Fairburn: (holding back tears) Don't...remind...me...

Neville: Let me guess: dramatic effect?

[Tahkranul]

Este leans in towards Steph a quietly asks from behind her glass, "What troubles you, darling?"

Steph raises an eyebrow at Este as one corner of her mouth tilts up in amusement. "Not bad. You a shrink in your former life? Or a barkeep?"

She takes a swig of beer and continues. "Just one o' those stupid, stupid, shitty things. My old ship, the Edward Abbey, was carrying out OSRI* on a tramp mining operation - basically just make sure everything's above-board, they're pulling the same elements they're filing in the live claim, not poaching someone else's rock, not smuggling anything..." Steph waves her hand dismissively. "Pretty routine, even if the target thinks it's gonna get away with smuggling at T-Zero*. Problem was, these yahoos couldn't find a qualified programmer to run their mining bots, so they winged it. Well, one of the inspection team got too close to one o' the bots, and it smelled the minerals in his suit, like they always do. But shitty code updates, bad kludgy hacking, dipshit search terms... no safety cutoffs or pattern recognition. Fuckin' bot cut right through the poor kid's helmet before anyone knew it was even on him."

Steph glowers.

"Fuckin' amateurs. I trained the kid on SOWS* and OCIWS* myself. Combat's one thing, but this fuckin' piddling avoidable shit..."

She sighs heavily, then drains her beverage.

"Friends not present, indeed. Here or anywhere else."

*OOC:
Jargon more or less unavoidable in this narration, slight apologies.
T-Zero = Time of commencement of operation
OSRI = Operational Safety & Resource Inspection. Pronounced "OZ-ree"
SOWS = Squad Optical Weapons System i.e. an unwieldy but powerful laser rifle
OCIWS = Optical Close-In Weapons System i.e. ship defense lasers used to vaporize, ablatively divert, or incapacitate bullets, micrometeoroids, missiles, etc. Pronounced "OH-cues"

Este has no idea what any of the acronym terminology is, and is only vaguely aware that robotics and computer programming is an everyday thing for some cultures, but she's able to follow the gist of Steph's tale. She gives Steph a sympathetic kiss on the cheek and lifts the expensive bottle Bell ordered to her glass as a silent offer to refill it.

"Here and anywhere else indeed."

[Merni]

Ambassador Sir Ripon Spers walks into the bar, tired out from debating the whole day. He holds his briefcase in his hand.
"A mug of Guinness please."
After taking a swig, he feels a bit better.
"To the idiots of the WA, without whom it would be a terribly boring place." he says, raising the mug.

Ripon grits his teeth. "Thank you for the toast, Fairburn. Please do not call me Ambassador Whatshisname. In my country, mine is a perfectly acceptable name." he says, drinking the last of his Guinness.

"If you want people to call you by your name, you ought to let them know what it is, mister Whatsyourname," Janis pointed out, amused. "I am Janis Leveret, by the way. Using my first name works best, but if you insist on last name, it's miss Leveret."

Maybe, miss Leveret, you should read my first post more thoroughly. And you too, Mr Fairburn.

[Louisistan]

OOC: You do realise that your Ambassador hasn't introduced himself, don't you? Are the characters supposed to hear you narrating, or how do you propose they learn the name? Also "you should read the post" is a weird thing to say in-character.

[Kilimantonian]

Ambassador Franlin enters the bar in time to hear this random ambassador shout something about "reading the post".

"Oh, the post has come in, has it? I do hope my shipment of 341 back copies of The Dirovan Times made it in one piece..."

At a shake of the head from Neville, the ambassador slumps down in a corner booth. "The regular, please, Neville - three shots of vodka and a bottle of fermented tomato juice."

[Separatist Peoples]

Este leans in towards Steph a quietly asks from behind her glass, "What troubles you, darling?"

Steph raises an eyebrow at Este as one corner of her mouth tilts up in amusement. "Not bad. You a shrink in your former life? Or a barkeep?"

She takes a swig of beer and continues. "Just one o' those stupid, stupid, shitty things. My old ship, the Edward Abbey, was carrying out OSRI* on a tramp mining operation - basically just make sure everything's above-board, they're pulling the same elements they're filing in the live claim, not poaching someone else's rock, not smuggling anything..." Steph waves her hand dismissively. "Pretty routine, even if the target thinks it's gonna get away with smuggling at T-Zero*. Problem was, these yahoos couldn't find a qualified programmer to run their mining bots, so they winged it. Well, one of the inspection team got too close to one o' the bots, and it smelled the minerals in his suit, like they always do. But shitty code updates, bad kludgy hacking, dipshit search terms... no safety cutoffs or pattern recognition. Fuckin' bot cut right through the poor kid's helmet before anyone knew it was even on him."

Steph glowers.

"Fuckin' amateurs. I trained the kid on SOWS* and OCIWS* myself. Combat's one thing, but this fuckin' piddling avoidable shit..."

She sighs heavily, then drains her beverage.

"Friends not present, indeed. Here or anywhere else."

*OOC:
Jargon more or less unavoidable in this narration, slight apologies.
T-Zero = Time of commencement of operation
OSRI = Operational Safety & Resource Inspection. Pronounced "OZ-ree"
SOWS = Squad Optical Weapons System i.e. an unwieldy but powerful laser rifle
OCIWS = Optical Close-In Weapons System i.e. ship defense lasers used to vaporize, ablatively divert, or incapacitate bullets, micrometeoroids, missiles, etc. Pronounced "OH-cues"

Bell looks between the two morose women. "Well, I feel silly. Here I was lamenting my downed F/A-12, who lies rusting at the bottom of the sea."

[States of Glory WA Office]

"The regular, please, Neville

Neville: Trust me, I'm hardly a regular...Oh, wait, the other Neville.

Fairburn: For Pete's sake, just change your name and be done with it!

Neville: My name is my identity. It's part of who I am. I refuse to change it.

Fairburn: (shrugs) That's your loss.

[Tahkranul]

Bell looks between the two morose women. "Well, I feel silly. Here I was lamenting my downed F/A-12, who lies rusting at the bottom of the sea."

Este laughs at this and quickly kisses Bell's cheek.

"That's to thank you, first for the sensitivity you showed in proposing the toast, and now for care and humor in trying to alleviate the mood before our spirits sink too low."

OOC: Hey, I finally put up my first custom banner... after unlocking a second one. Oy. Gotta break out the pencils and pen again.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Bell looks between the two morose women. "Well, I feel silly. Here I was lamenting my downed F/A-12, who lies rusting at the bottom of the sea."

Este laughs at this and quickly kisses Bell's cheek.

"That's to thank you, first for the sensitivity you showed in proposing the toast, and now for care and humor in trying to alleviate the mood before our spirits sink too low."

Steph nods in appreciation to Este as she tilts her glass to better catch the liquor pouring into it. Then turns to Bell and grins.

"Hey, I've heard stick jockeys talkin' about their birds. And seen the hangar-side grab-ass, too. Sweetly caress the fuselage... fondle the ailerons... smack the engine cowling like you're slappin' ya girl's butt."

She pauses to take a whiff of the spirit in the glass, then solemnly says, "Very traumatic, I have no doubt."

[Kilimantonian]

Ambassador Franklin starts turning red as he listens to Ambassador Zakalwe's description of how pilots behave towards their planes...

[Excidium Planetis]

"Hey, I've heard stick jockeys talkin' about their birds. And seen the hangar-side grab-ass, too. Sweetly caress the fuselage... fondle the ailerons... smack the engine cowling like you're slappin' ya girl's butt."

She pauses to take a whiff of the spirit in the glass, then solemnly says, "Very traumatic, I have no doubt."

Schultz looks on with a mixture of amusement and mild disgust.

"Were these aircraft, by any chance, sapient? Believe it or not, my nation has encountered aircraft with which such actions could be considered sexual harassment."

[Tinfect]

"Were these aircraft, by any chance, sapient? Believe it or not, my nation has encountered aircraft with which such actions could be considered sexual harassment."

Markhov, who had taken to quietly listening in on various conversations, having run out of reading material, interjects at that,
"Of course, this is why the Imperium ensures that our Artificial Intelligences are capable disassociation with their frames. It quite eases Maintenance procedures, if Technician's reports are to be believed."

[Herby]

Bell looks between the two morose women. "Well, I feel silly. Here I was lamenting my downed F/A-12, who lies rusting at the bottom of the sea."

Este laughs at this and quickly kisses Bell's cheek.

Deeeeeewwwwww I think I'm gonna barf. Neville! Check please!

"Of course, this is why the Imperium ensures that our Artificial Intelligences are capable disassociation with their frames. It quite eases Maintenance procedures, if Technician's reports are to be believed."

Pfffffffffffffffffffff. AI is so overrated these days. Wait. What?

[WA Kitty Kops]

"Of course, this is why the Imperium ensures that our Artificial Intelligences are capable disassociation with their frames. It quite eases Maintenance procedures, if Technician's reports are to be believed."

Pfffffffffffffffffffff. AI is so overrated these days. Wait. What?

The Chief Inshpekshuuner grew bored with the teen reading the comic book and headed over to where Herby was making noise again, hopping onto his hood to get his attention.

"It's fancy speak for you knowing you's you even if you wasn't in your body, and being able to be without being in your body," he explained. "Like when you's dreaming. Do you dream, Rumbly Car?"

[Sierra Lyricalia]

"Were these aircraft, by any chance, sapient? Believe it or not, my nation has encountered aircraft with which such actions could be considered sexual harassment."

"Well, I can't speak for everyone's aerospace forces, but we don't have anything like that yet. The machines are just machines. The brainbox can take over for the pilot in emergencies, but that takes no more consciousness than beating your ass at chess from what I understand. Programming, not personality."

Markhov, who had taken to quietly listening in on various conversations, having run out of reading material, interjects at that,
"Of course, this is why the Imperium ensures that our Artificial Intelligences are capable disassociation with their frames. It quite eases Maintenance procedures, if Technician's reports are to be believed."

"So, your response to harassment and boorish behavior is to tell the victim to retreat catatonically into its own mind and pretend bad things aren't happening outside?"

Steph shakes her head in disapproval.

"Or did you mean any given AI only controls any given bird on a temporary basis, the same as a human pilot flies a plane like it's an extension of herself, but the plane isn't actually her own body... and once the post-flight's over, the AI goes someplace else to hang out and get drunk running on misclocked chips and suboptimal-volt power supplies just like any other pilot? Cuz that sounds like a good way to do it."

[Herby]

"It's fancy speak for you knowing you's you even if you wasn't in your body, and being able to be without being in your body," he explained.

Ehhhhhhhhh say what?

"Like when you's dreaming. Do you dream, Rumbly Car?"

Do I dream? Like ehhhhhh do androids dream o' 'lectric sheep kind o' thing? Heh. Heh heh heh heh. Yeah I dream. I dream of well endowed German girls, ridin' in my backseat, with the top down, their hair blowin' in the breeze, big smiles on their faces, the twinklin' in their eyes, the bounce in their ehhhhhhh hang on I gotta go take a cold carwash.