The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Silverakia]

Waking up, Amelia realized that everyone left her. She groaned.

"I guess its time to stay here and get wasted!"

She promptly glugged down her vodka.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

Heh. Heh heh heh. That's awesome man wait wait wait WHAT? Eh. Okay so ehhhh apparently it says here that you died five years ago. Damn that's bit o' bad luck, ain't it? So ehhhh what was dyin' like, bub?

Columbo blinks slowly, then puts his left hand to his head. "Oh...oh this is weird. This is nuts!" He points to Herby and exclaims, "A talking car! A real talking car! Like in a cartoon or something! Whoa, that's just amazing! So wait, what did you say about me dying? I mean, I know these cigars aren't all that good for me--I always say I should quit, you know--but I'm doing all right. I'm a pretty healthy man."

[Excidium Planetis]

Unless otherwise stated, all Excidians speak English and will only understand English and Loglan. The standard explanation for why they can converse with others is
1) those others do actually have universal translators
2) those others are speaking English or Loglan

If neither of these is the case for your (general you, not Wallenburg obviously) delegation, please notify me immediately and I will begin RPing a lack of communication immediately.

On an OOC note, all of my characters speak Latin.

So, basically Parsons and North been calling my nation Fall of Planets this whole time?

[Araraukar]

Columbo blinks slowly, then puts his left hand to his head. "Oh...oh this is weird. This is nuts!" He points to Herby and exclaims, "A talking car! A real talking car! Like in a cartoon or something! Whoa, that's just amazing! So wait, what did you say about me dying? I mean, I know these cigars aren't all that good for me--I always say I should quit, you know--but I'm doing all right. I'm a pretty healthy man."

"If you think that is weird, wait until you meet the talking plants," Janis remarked while waiting for Gerald's answer. "As for your status as a living person, most of those people whose records show any sign of you, have you as having died. Don't worry, we get some zombies here from time to time, your kind is as welcome here as any other."

OOC: Now I may need some counceling after imagining a zombie Columbo... Huge fan of the series/movies when I was a kid, by the way.

So, basically Parsons and North been calling my nation Fall of Planets this whole time?

OOC: Well it is your nation's name, so I think we all have.

[Imperium Anglorum]

On an OOC note, all of my characters speak Latin.

So, basically Parsons and North been calling my nation Fall of Planets this whole time?

OOC: Well, more like the Destruction of Planets. Though, anything written in Latin in real life are treated as if they were Ancient Greek or Etruscan.

[Wallenburg]

Spotting the tall Wallenburgian, Janis grabbed her drink and made her way to Gerald. "Hey there," she said, "I wanted to thank you for looking after my cat. I thought about getting you a souvenier, but wasn't sure what to get you, so instead," setting her cup of cocoa down, Janis pulled a thick envelope from her satchel, "I brought you back a lot of photos. I had them print them out, because of the technical difficulties of getting them to you otherwise. They're pictures of Araraukarian wilderness landscapes and animals."

She held out the envelope, and only then it registered to her that something was off.

"Uh, did something worse than a civil war happen while I was gone?"

Gerald looks down at Janis and nods grimly. "Regrettably, one of our office's staff has died by a gunshot to the head. We're all very shaken up. He was a good, loyal, hardworking man." He takes a sip of his whiskey and leans back a bit in his chair.

The doors to the hallway open and the Wallenburgian coroner comes in, walking quickly and directly to Gerald and Officer Lapsis. "Gentlemen, I'm afraid the situation is worse than I thought. I checked the body and the photographs for gunshot residue, and there is none. The gun was not fired from Mr. Kimering's hand."

"What do you mean by that?" asks Gerald.

Lapsis sighs and turns to Gerald. "I'm afraid, sir, that it means Mr. Kimering was murdered."

[Herby]

Columbo blinks slowly, then puts his left hand to his head. "Oh...oh this is weird. This is nuts!" He points to Herby and exclaims, "A talking car! A real talking car! Like in a cartoon or something! Whoa, that's just amazing! So wait, what did you say about me dying? I mean, I know these cigars aren't all that good for me--I always say I should quit, you know--but I'm doing all right. I'm a pretty healthy man."

Oooh right right right gotta stay in character. Okay okay I'll just go over here and watch you work. Heh heh this is gonna be good.

Lapsis sighs and turns to Gerald. "I'm afraid, sir, that it means Mr. Kimering was murdered."

Herby activates his radio and his external speakers to play three seconds of an ominous "DUN DUN DUUUUUUN" sound effect.

[Araraukar]

OOC: Well, more like the Destruction of Planets. Though, anything written in Latin in real life are treated as if they were Ancient Greek or Etruscan.

OOC: Fun fact: Nuntii Latini is a weekly Finnish news broadcast about current events (both in Finland and elsewhere) in Latin. Not sure if this link works outside Finland, but if it does, you can listen to it here: http://areena.yle.fi/1-1931339

*snip*

"Ehh, I see you're going to be busy, so I'll get out of your hair," Janis said, putting the envelope with the photographs on the table and then backing away. She wasn't sure if Ogenbond knew who had played the prank on him, but in any case she didn't want to get involved in anything that included deaths by gunfire. So she retreated back to the bar counter, watching the unfolding of the events like most other Bar patrons.

[Tahkranul]

Este waves farewell to Ari before turning back to Steph and Bell.
"Karaoke?"

"Madame Ambassador, if you would like to, then by all means, partake, but I would hate to violate extant GA legislation on torture by grabbing ahold of a microphone."

Este pauses a moment before giving a hearty chuckle.
"Torture? Oh, darling, I think I'll pass. Besides, my commitment to my diplomatic appointments means I should restrain myself to only taking up political microphones -- and being newly arrived here, we certainly want to keep things as friendly as possible, as difficult as political discourse can make that," she sets down the now empty glass Bell provided her with and hoists her martini aloft, "there are ways of keeping things pleasant."

[Wallenburg]

Herby activates his radio and his external speakers to play three seconds of an ominous "DUN DUN DUUUUUUN" sound effect.

Gerald glares at Herby, then returns his attention to Lapsis. "Murder? Why would anyone want to murder Erwin? He didn't have any enemies."

"Mr. Gonzalgez, was Mr. Kimmering behaving strangely recently?" asks the officer. "Missing work, leaving the offices?"

"No, no. He was happy as always, working diligently. Nothing out of the ordinary crosses my mind."

The officer nods and pulls out a notepad. He puts a pen to the paper and begins to jot down notes. "Anyone else from your offices behaving unusually?"

"Well, Mr. Ogenbond has been on edge recently, but he couldn't have killed Kimering even if he wanted to."

Lapsis raises his eyebrow, "And why is that?"

"Well," answers Gerald, "he only recently returned from Independence, and nearly the entire delegation was with him this whole time."

"Thank you, sir. I'm going to get back to you, but if most of your staff was together with Ogenbond, I should probably assess the alibis of your staff members."

Officer Lapsis stands and turns to Columbo, "And, you, sir, I'd appreciate if you would help me solve this case. I know a policeman when I see one, and you certainly have contributed to our investigation."

[States of Glory WA Office]

(Neville enters the Bar, still wet from the Reflecting Pool)

Neville: It turns out that there are no launderettes near here and my office isn't equipped with a washing machine. This has rather...(puts on shades)...dampened my enthusiasm.

(takes off shades) I do apologise for that. Anyway, I'll be leaving my clothes on the radiator. That does mean that I'll be naked, but before you panic, I do have a sleeping bag I can bunk in. I'll just drift off until my clothes get dry, if you guys don't mind. Before I do so, any news?

[The Eternal Kawaii]

(Neville enters the Bar, still wet from the Reflecting Pool)

Neville: It turns out that there are no launderettes near here and my office isn't equipped with a washing machine. This has rather...(puts on shades)...dampened my enthusiasm.

(takes off shades) I do apologise for that. Anyway, I'll be leaving my clothes on the radiator. That does mean that I'll be naked, but before you panic, I do have a sleeping bag I can bunk in. I'll just drift off until my clothes get dry, if you guys don't mind. Before I do so, any news?

The old Kawaiian nekomusume looked up from her religious-trinkets-sales-table in horrified shock. "None of THAT, young man!" she said sternly to Neville, going over to the bar with a spare tablecloth for the Barlord to use as a makeshift yukata.

[States of Glory WA Office]

(Neville enters the Bar, still wet from the Reflecting Pool)

Neville: It turns out that there are no launderettes near here and my office isn't equipped with a washing machine. This has rather...(puts on shades)...dampened my enthusiasm.

(takes off shades) I do apologise for that. Anyway, I'll be leaving my clothes on the radiator. That does mean that I'll be naked, but before you panic, I do have a sleeping bag I can bunk in. I'll just drift off until my clothes get dry, if you guys don't mind. Before I do so, any news?

The old Kawaiian nekomusume looked up from her religious-trinkets-sales-table in horrified shock. "None of THAT, young man!" she said sternly to Neville, going over to the bar with a spare tablecloth for the Barlord to use as a makeshift yukata.

Neville: (looks at yukata) Um...how do I use this thing?

[The Eternal Kawaii]

The old Kawaiian nekomusume looked up from her religious-trinkets-sales-table in horrified shock. "None of THAT, young man!" she said sternly to Neville, going over to the bar with a spare tablecloth for the Barlord to use as a makeshift yukata.

Neville: (looks at yukata) Um...how do I use this thing?

The old Kawaiian nun just smiled and draped the cloth over Neville's shoulders, saying, "Just wrap it around yourself. A man of your station here should have a care for modesty; you don't want to set a bad example for the patrons, do you?"

[Tahkranul]

Neville: (looks at yukata) Um...how do I use this thing?

The old Kawaiian nun just smiled and draped the cloth over Neville's shoulders, saying, "Just wrap it around yourself. A man of your station here should have a care for modesty; you don't want to set a bad example for the patrons, do you?"

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

[Wallenburg]

The old Kawaiian nun just smiled and draped the cloth over Neville's shoulders, saying, "Just wrap it around yourself. A man of your station here should have a care for modesty; you don't want to set a bad example for the patrons, do you?"

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

OOC: Where's a well-endowed German when you need her, eh Herby?

[Silverakia]

The old Kawaiian nun just smiled and draped the cloth over Neville's shoulders, saying, "Just wrap it around yourself. A man of your station here should have a care for modesty; you don't want to set a bad example for the patrons, do you?"

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

Amelia paused, and started chuckling. "Ahahahaha! I know, right! It's a bar! Who needs good examples and modesty?"

[Separatist Peoples]

The old Kawaiian nun just smiled and draped the cloth over Neville's shoulders, saying, "Just wrap it around yourself. A man of your station here should have a care for modesty; you don't want to set a bad example for the patrons, do you?"

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

"Hardly the first time somebody's been naked in the bar, certainly. It's rapidly becoming a tradition. Even happens in the debate hall occasionally."

[Excidium Planetis]

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

"Hardly the first time somebody's been naked in the bar, certainly. It's rapidly becoming a tradition. Even happens in the debate hall occasionally."

"I don't believe I have had the displeasure of witnessing that. I did threaten to go topless in the debate hall, once." Schultz remarks.

"No, wait..." She makes a disgusted face. "Santos once did some nude ritual thing. I did, unfortunately, see that."

[Separatist Peoples]

"Hardly the first time somebody's been naked in the bar, certainly. It's rapidly becoming a tradition. Even happens in the debate hall occasionally."

"I don't believe I have had the displeasure of witnessing that. I did threaten to go topless in the debate hall, once." Schultz remarks.

"No, wait..." She makes a disgusted face. "Santos once did some nude ritual thing. I did, unfortunately, see that."

"I did it once, to twit the ambassador from New Molsona, who was trying to draft an appalling bit of legislation that would have made guns legal in all jurisdictions, but not to homosexuals."

Bell rubs the bridge of his nose, "You can see where the jackass was going with this. So, I bared it all. After he was done vomiting on other ambassadors at the concept of a member of his own gender's member, he resigned. It was, on the whole, worth the loss of my modesty to protect the world from that kind of obscene thinking."

[Tahkranul]

"I don't believe I have had the displeasure of witnessing that. I did threaten to go topless in the debate hall, once." Schultz remarks.

Este grins at that. "Dear, are you sure that would've been a threat, rather than a treat?"

"I did it once, to twit the ambassador from New Molsona, who was trying to draft an appalling bit of legislation that would have made guns legal in all jurisdictions, but not to homosexuals."

Bell rubs the bridge of his nose, "You can see where the jackass was going with this. So, I bared it all. After he was done vomiting on other ambassadors at the concept of a member of his own gender's member, he resigned. It was, on the whole, worth the loss of my modesty to protect the world from that kind of obscene thinking."

The grin slides right off Este's face and she goes quiet for a moment.
"It's everywhere, isn't it? That nonsense. The Empire -- former empire -- punished homs with death. To the point a lot of constables would just shoot you to save themselves the time of arresting you. Being bi, I could get by alright, but that wasn't an option for some. Lost a lot of friends. Almost lost more."
She inhales sharply and seems to snap herself out of her reverie.
"But together we persevered, we overcame, and when we established our own democratic nation atop the ashes of the old, we made damn sure to throw that hateful nonsense out and constitutionally protect the rights of not just our workers and our homs, but also the Nomadic Tribes, and the other two sapient races that live within our borders. At long last, we can proudly stand before our Ancestors a liberated people!"
Este hoists her martini glass and downs a hearty drink from it, brushes her blue hair back from her protruding grey eyes, and grins sheepishly.
"I, uh, seem to have gotten a bit carried away there. Apologies."

[Umeria]

Cubbins continues to read, trying not to hear the other ambassadors' conversation, and failing.

[Excidium Planetis]

"I don't believe I have had the displeasure of witnessing that. I did threaten to go topless in the debate hall, once." Schultz remarks.

Este grins at that. "Dear, are you sure that would've been a threat, rather than a treat?"

"Perhaps. The Ambassador I threatened did say he was fine with it, after advocating a gender less law code as a solution to transsexuals, which he said various things about that it would be quite impolite to repeat."

[Morteuphoria]

"Modesty in a bar?" Este chuckles over her martini. "What a novel concept."

Amelia paused, and started chuckling. "Ahahahaha! I know, right! It's a bar! Who needs good examples and modesty?"

"Much truth in that indeed!", interjects the Supreme Emperor of Morteuphoria. The bar is a place to relax, dull yourself, and not think at all about anything political." He takes a long glug of beer from a mug before continuing, "They're a good place to let people get things out of their system that they need to keep out of normal society. Something like that would probably end up in an execution on the streets in my nation, but in a bar, have fun."

[Morteuphoria]

Este grins at that. "Dear, are you sure that would've been a threat, rather than a treat?"

"Perhaps. The Ambassador I threatened did say he was fine with it, after advocating a gender less law code as a solution to transsexuals, which he said various things about that it would be quite impolite to repeat."

"Some people are quite silly when it comes to things like that. As far as transsexuals and gays, they cannot reproduce more citizens for labor and productivity. But need not disallow existence for something such as that. But THEY must make up for that by being extremely patriotic and productive members of society."