[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[States of Glory WA Office]

Puppy-Woodchipper Safety Act
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING that some inhabitants of member states choose to throw puppies into woodchippers,

HORRIFIED at this practice,

WONDERING how any anyone can resist puppy eyes,

HEREBY:

1) REQUIRES member states to ban the act of throwing puppies into woodchippers,

2) MANDATES that member states must prosecute and sentence this act to the fullest extent of the law,

3) CONDEMNS anyone who wishes to throw puppies into woodchippers,

4) RECOMMENDS that member states should extend these protections to kittens and adult dogs.

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Puppy-Woodchipper Safety Act
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING that some inhabitants of member states choose to throw puppies into woodchippers,

HORRIFIED at this practice,

WONDERING how any anyone can resist puppy eyes,

HEREBY:

1) REQUIRES member states to ban the act of throwing puppies into woodchippers,

2) MANDATES that member states must prosecute and sentence this act to the fullest extent of the law,

3) CONDEMNS anyone who wishes to throw puppies into woodchippers,

4) RECOMMENDS that member states should extend these protections to kittens and adult dogs.

Teran Saber: "No protections for adult felines? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be thrown into a woodchipper."

[Imperium Anglorum]

Housecat Memorandum
Category: Housecat Rights
Strength: Preventing Animal Abuse

Believing housecats to be sacred and beyond any sense of the profane,

Seeing that they are fantastic pets and the best of buds, the World Assembly bestows

Protection upon housecats.

[Calladan]

Puppy-Woodchipper Safety Act
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING that some inhabitants of member states choose to throw puppies into woodchippers,

HORRIFIED at this practice,

WONDERING how any anyone can resist puppy eyes,

HEREBY:

1) REQUIRES member states to ban the act of throwing puppies into woodchippers,

2) MANDATES that member states must prosecute and sentence this act to the fullest extent of the law,

3) CONDEMNS anyone who wishes to throw puppies into woodchippers,

4) RECOMMENDS that member states should extend these protections to kittens and adult dogs.

When you say the fullest extent of the law, would it need to be a specific law about puppies and wood chippers? Because currently we don't actually have a law about that, so if someone threw a puppy in a woodchipper, the "fullest extent of the law" would be to go "You are a very naughty person" and that would be it.

So would we have to create a specific law about puppies and woodchippers, or could we use a generic animal cruelty law (because we do have some of those you will be glad to know).

[States of Glory WA Office]

Puppy-Woodchipper Safety Act
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING that some inhabitants of member states choose to throw puppies into woodchippers,

HORRIFIED at this practice,

WONDERING how any anyone can resist puppy eyes,

HEREBY:

1) REQUIRES member states to ban the act of throwing puppies into woodchippers,

2) MANDATES that member states must prosecute and sentence this act to the fullest extent of the law,

3) CONDEMNS anyone who wishes to throw puppies into woodchippers,

4) RECOMMENDS that member states should extend these protections to kittens and adult dogs.

When you say the fullest extent of the law, would it need to be a specific law about puppies and wood chippers?

You have to make such a law. Clause One says so.

[Calladan]

When you say the fullest extent of the law, would it need to be a specific law about puppies and wood chippers?

You have to make such a law. Clause One says so.

But does it? All it says is I have to ban that. It doesn't say that I have to punish them if they do it. In the same way that smoking is banned in public buildings, but if we find anyone smoking in public buildings, we just ask them to put the cigarette out, or to go outside to smoke the rest of it.

So I could ban throwing puppies into woodchippers, and but not necessarily punish them for it.

Also - on an excessively pedantic point - what if they drop, place, slide, push or tip the puppy into the woodchipper? Would that be against the law that forbids throwing said puppies into said woodchippers?

[States of Glory WA Office]

You have to make such a law. Clause One says so.

But does it? All it says is I have to ban that. It doesn't say that I have to punish them if they do it.

Yes it does. Clause Two deals with that.

Also - on an excessively pedantic point - what if they drop, place, slide, push or tip the puppy into the woodchipper? Would that be against the law that forbids throwing said puppies into said woodchippers?

Technically, no, but why are you even being this pedantic over a joke?

[Calladan]

But does it? All it says is I have to ban that. It doesn't say that I have to punish them if they do it.

Yes it does. Clause Two deals with that.

Also - on an excessively pedantic point - what if they drop, place, slide, push or tip the puppy into the woodchipper? Would that be against the law that forbids throwing said puppies into said woodchippers?

Technically, no, but why are you even being this pedantic over a joke?

Lack of sleep. Boredom due to a three day weekend. (OOC - boredom is mostly due to not getting to see my girlfriend over the said three day weekend because of not being able to drive but that's a whole other matter). Plus - you know - it's fun.

And (I swear this will be the last thing I say on the matter) Clause 2 just says I have to punish them to the full extent of the law. If the law merely dictates saying "don't do that again" then that is all the punishment I have to give

(And I promise I am done. Well - 99% promise at least).

[Bears Armed Mission]

Upon The High Value of Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Strongly urges all member nations to promote Brevity amongst their populations’ would-be witticists.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Upon The High Value of Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Strongly urges all member nations to promote Brevity amongst their populations’ would-be witticists.

Approved.

[Wrapper]

Upon The High Value of Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Strongly urges all member nations to promote Brevity amongst their populations’ would-be witticists.

Too verbose for me.

Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Urges the promotion of Brevity.

[Tinfect]

Upon The High Value of Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Strongly urges all member nations to promote Brevity amongst their populations’ would-be witticists.

Too verbose for me.

Brevity

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: The World Assembly,
Recognizing that Brevity is the Soul of Wit;
Hereby,
Urges the promotion of Brevity.

Upon The High Value of Brevity in World Assembly Legislation and General Conduct within Member-States

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Text: This Grand World Assembly, on which rests the hope of the World's Nations for improvement on the barbaric structures developed by the abhorrent reprobates within Non-Member States,

Recognizing to the greatest extent possible by the assembled nations and sapients present within the halls and rolls of the World Assembly, that Brevity, also known as succinctness, and conciseness, is a value to be upheld as the greatest institution of wit, and may yet be considered, by some valued scholars within Member-States, as the 'Soul of Wit', owing to its inherent value to the production of witty and poignant commentary and writing,

Hereby, with the legitimate power provided to it by its Member-States and their varied and valued constituents and institutions,

Urges that Member-States actively promote Brevity within their cultural production of literature and writing, as well as within those realms purely of the vocal variety which might benefit from the introduction of Brevity into their constructive processes.

[Wrapper]

Upon The High Value of Brevity in...

tl;dr

[States of Glory WA Office]

It's my 300th post, so I might as well do the obvious.

Declaration on Blasphemy and Madness
Category: Sparta | Strength: Well-kick

The World Assembly,

WORRIED that the Persian ambassador brings the crowns and heads of conquered kings to the steps of the World Assembly Headquarters,

CONCERNED that the Persian ambassador insults the World Assembly Secretary-General,

ANGERED that the Persian ambassador threatens member states with slavery and death,

CONSIDERING that this resolution has chosen its words carefully,

BELIEVING that the Persian ambassador should have done the same,

ACKNOWLEDGING that the Persian ambassador believes this to be blasphemy,

NOTING that the Persian ambassador also believes this to be madness,

HEREBY:

1) DECLARES that THIS...IS...THE WORLD ASSEMBLY!

2) KICKS the Persian ambassador down a well.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Declaration on Blasphemy and Madness
Category: Sparta | Strength: Well-kick

...

On Dramatic Historical Accuracy
Category: Nitpicking | Strength: For Fuck's Sake, Really?

COGNIZANT that Greek polises had a massive influence on Western civilization;

APATHETIC about ancient Persians in general and imperial conquerors in particular;

RECOGNIZING the necessity of a certain amount of dramatic conceit for the sake of spinning a good yarn;

BUT TOTALLY UNABLE to stomach this much wet, pungent horseshit any longer;

The World Assembly hereby:

1. Reminds member nations that homosexuality was a plain fact of life in ancient Greece, to the degree that a man often placed higher priority for intimacy and emotional involvement on his male lover than on his wife;

2. Points out that, while Spartan grunts delayed a marching army, the Greek counterattacks would have gone exactly nowhere without Athenian naval might;

3. Reminds member nations that, while the survival of Greece was indispensable for the later development of modern democracy, Sparta itself was a totalitarian military dictatorship, and proudly so;
a. for example, while other city-states developed art, poetry, mathematics, philosophy, etc., the only poetry we have from Sparta is either jingoistic pablum or the stoic lamentation of mothers whose sons came home dead, if at all;

4. Scoffs out loud at the divorce from reality necessary to call Athenian troops "boy-fuckers" when literally the entire Spartan military order was built on institutionalized pederasty;

5. Warns member nations about the endemic nature of fascist themes presented with approval in Frank Miller's work;

And,

6. Just generally laughs out loud at every single aspect of the dramatization of the Battle of Thermopylae, and calls loudly for a much better scriptwriter for the inevitable reboot, reimagining, alternate version, or whatever it winds up being.

[Umeria]

The Anti-Act Act

Category: Furtherment of Democracy, but Acting Like Political Stability | Strength: Seems Strong, but Really Just Acting

Alarmed that the word "act" has seen far too much action in resolutions,

Concerned that the authors of these resolutions are placing "act" in random places simply to act like they're more accentuated than they actually are,

The World Assembly hereby enacts that:

• All resolutions that contain the word "act" shall be retracted from WA law, so as to redact the fact that "act" and all of its forms and factions should acquiesce back into a mere accessory,
• Citizens that do not accept this act shall be considered "act" activists and punished accordingly,
• Traditions such as "Anti-Actinium Day", where cats crack stacks of Actinium with an axe, shall be accepted by all.

[States of Glory WA Office]

#Proposal
#Tweets | #Sweeping

The WA

NOTING Twitter's power

REQUIRES proposals be 140 characters or less
REQUESTS proposals to use hashtags instead of category/strength

OK, that was actually much harder than I thought. #WorthIt

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Redundant proposal of redundancy
Category: Administration
Strength: Redundant

Noting the lack of redundancy in the World Assembly,

Believing that there is a lack of redundancy in the World Assembly,

Concerned about the World Assembly's lack of redundancy

Hereby:

1. Requires that member nations set up redundant departments of redundancy

2. Mandates that a redundant department of redundancy be set up in each member nation

3. Establishes a redundant committee of redundancy to oversee each redundant department of redundancy

4. Establishes a redundant committee of redundancy committee to oversee the redundant committee of redundancy.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

#Proposal
#Tweets | #Sweeping

The WA

NOTING Twitter's power

REQUIRES proposals be 140 characters or less
REQUESTS proposals to use hashtags instead of category/strength

OK, that was actually much harder than I thought. #WorthIt

Can't resist this (from the Security Council Illegal proposals thread).

Hashtags in proposals should be a deletable offence.

[Ochea]

Ban Communist Nation's

A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Description: Intro- I have noticed a lot of communist nation's with their own country's dictators, and not a lot of human rights. I saw we ban all one party nation's and set up a Republic or Kingdom to better the Human Right's for each nation.

Act 1- Restrict all Communist nation's from the World Assembly member states.

Act 2- Enforce laws to give citizens more rights.

Act 3- Change the status of a one party to a Republic, or Kingdom.

Approvals: 5 (The Gipper, Doge rica, NewYorkState, Cresenthia, Aramythia)

Status: Lacking Support (requires 82 more approvals)

Voting Ends: in 1 day 16 hours

I see lots of spelling and grammar errors. They probably should have checked their resolution before submitting....
If a type of nation is going to be banned to increase civil rights, it should be dictatorships, which usually have really low civil and political rights, instead of communist nations, which usually have medium / high civil and political rights.

[Tinfect]

I see lots of spelling and grammar errors. They probably should have checked their resolution before submitting....
If a type of nation is going to be banned to increase civil rights, it should be dictatorships, which usually have really low civil and political rights, instead of communist nations, which usually have medium / high civil and political rights.

You're in the wrong thread mate.

[Bears Armed]

Ban Communist Nation's

A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Description: Intro- I have noticed a lot of communist nation's with their own country's dictators, and not a lot of human rights. I saw we ban all one party nation's and set up a Republic or Kingdom to better the Human Right's for each nation.

Act 1- Restrict all Communist nation's from the World Assembly member states.

Act 2- Enforce laws to give citizens more rights.

Act 3- Change the status of a one party to a Republic, or Kingdom.

Approvals: 5 (The Gipper, Doge rica, NewYorkState, Cresenthia, Aramythia)

Status: Lacking Support (requires 82 more approvals)

Voting Ends: in 1 day 16 hours

I see lots of spelling and grammar errors. They probably should have checked their resolution before submitting....
If a type of nation is going to be banned to increase civil rights, it should be dictatorships, which usually have really low civil and political rights, instead of communist nations, which usually have medium / high civil and political rights.

This thread is for posting deliberate jokes. Pointing out illegalities such as this go, if the proposal doesn't have a thread of its own anyhows, in that one... where, as it happens, this particular proposal has already been reported.
but
"Hrarroom!" ( = "Greetings!"), anyhows.

[States of Glory WA Office]

WA Security Fund
Category: Furtherment of Democracy | Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

NOTING the existence of a funding mechanism for resolutions passed by the General Assembly,

CONCERNED about the lack of such a mechanism for resolutions passed by the Security Council,

UNDERSTANDING that up to this point, expenses incurred by the Security Council have mostly been covered by the finances which are available to the General Assembly,

ACKNOWLEDGING that the purchase of badges is cheaper than the establishment of committees, the maintenance of WAHQ and bribery,

WORRIED nonetheless about the debts owed by the Security Council to various badge-producing corporations,

WISHING also to create further separation between the General Assembly and the Security Council,

HEREBY:

1) ESTABLISHES the WA Security Fund, which shall be the central source for the funding of SC operations, and the monies from which shall be spent only on shiny badges, the enforcement of liberations and cheap booze,

2) ESTABLISHES the WA Security Accounting Office (SAO) which will publish a budget for the Security Council to mismanage,

3) DECLARES that member states will have to argue amongst themselves over whether donations to the Security Fund are optional or mandatory,

4) PROVIDES that annual surpluses in the SC budget will be spent on knick-knacks,

5) CLARIFIES that this resolution is no way, shape or form a coerced taxation scheme, no sirree, nothing to see here, move along now, and

RECOGNISING that none of the above falls under 'Furtherment of Democracy',

6) BEGS member states to be more accountable in terms of their taxation policies.

[Umeria]

The Resolution that Breaks All the Rules
Category: Rule-Breaking | Strength: Infinite

The World Assembly,

Noting that many people have tried to make a joke resolution that breaks every GA proposal rule;

Wondering why no one thought of this before;

Hereby violates every GA proposal rule.

[Tzorsland]

The Resolution that Breaks All the Rules
Hereby violates every GA proposal rule.

In order to make it perfect, you need to misspell Hereby as Herby.