[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Don't know if this has already been done...

Right To Arm Bears

Only about ten cagillion times.

[Fortitudinem]

The Mother Knows Best Act
Frustrated to see mothers of nation leaders worried sick about their "little baby",
Saddened that their children do not put their laundry in their laundry basket,
And Angered that children nations forget their manners,
Hereby formally introduce:

THE MOTHER KNOWS BEST ACT

Article I: Manners
1) All member nations must say please and thank you.
2) Member nations must hold open the door for young and old ladies alike, unless they are old or young ladies themselves, in which they must find the nearest gentlemen and have him open the door for you.
3) Stand up straight and keep posture.
4) Do not slurp while drink-eating soup.
5) Do not ever make a comment on a woman's age.
6) Nations are forbidden from asking "are we there yet" in a vehicle more than once.

Article II: Behavior
1) Member nations must never lie, or a seagull will get them.
2) Never swallow a fruit seed or a tree will grow from your stomach.
3) Nations may not "give no sass" to their mother.
4) Member nations are prohibited from swallowing gum or it will stay with them for seven years.
5) You must go to sleep at bedtime, not earlier, not later.

Article III: Health
1) Member nations may never eat food fifteen or less minutes before swimming. The penalty is a cramp.
2) Don't keep your fingers in the water too long or you will get pruned.
3) Always wear a hat when your hair is wet, or else you will catch a cold.
4) Eat all your veggies so you can grow big and strong like the other nations!
5) Don't talk back to me or it WILL be a health concern!
6) No desert before dinner.

Article IV: Amending
1) These articles may be amended as mother pleases, by a 3/4 proposal by the House of Mothers, and a 5/6 ratification of the Maternal Assembly.
2) These articles may be amended as member nations please, by a 5/4 proposal by the World Assembly, and a 16/2 ratification of the World Assembly, in other words AIN'T HAPPENING! Only mama makes the rules.

Concerning this proposal. (Aka, "Dear mom," XP)
But slurping sounds are fun! D: And you just banned strawberries! That's not fair. ;~; I don't have a bedtime because space. :3 Swimming is icky, prunes are tasty, and I don;t have a net so the colds get away. Veggies ate tasty. Dinner is dessert, so I can't have dinner before dinner! D: And those amending rules sound totally fair. :3
( )

[Tinfect]

Idea shamelessly stolen from Excidium Planetis' post Here.

Right to Breathe

Category: Human Rights. Strength: Significant
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Noting, that the World Assembly has passed no legislation concerning the right of a Nation's inhabitants to breathe,

Understanding, that if the World Assembly has yet to pass legislation on a particular subject, it is banned by default,

Hoping, that the World Assembly acts quickly to rectify other such legislative oversights,

Hereby Mandates, that all Member States allow their citizens to breathe,

Further Mandates, that all Member States allow citizens to breathe whatever they wish, including, but not limited to,

Oxygen,
Hydrogen,
Sulfur,
Methane,
Helium,
Ammonia,
Hydrogen Sulfide,
Carbon Monoxide,
Chlorine,
Dihydrodgen Monoxide,

[Imperium Anglorum]

Warning Label on Guns
Category: Ineffectual Resolution | Strength: Independent Enquiry | Proposer: Imperium Anglorum

---

Recalling this Assembly's incredible stance in favour of freedom, rights, and liberty with previous legislation against war crimes, crimes against humanity, and civil rights,

Acknowledging that there has not yet been legislation against the misuse of weapons, and,

Believing that action against the horrifying abuses of such weapons is necessary for the functioning of societies and the protection of the human spirit,

The World Assembly:

1. Mandates that all firearms or guns also include a sticker or notice, only removable by the end consumer, which warns the user of possible injury resulting from use;
   
   
2. Directs all nations to enforce this regulation without delay.

[Grays Harbor]

Idea shamelessly stolen from Excidium Planetis' post Here.

Right to Breathe

Category: Human Rights. Strength: Significant
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Noting, that the World Assembly has passed no legislation concerning the right of a Nation's inhabitants to breathe,

Understanding, that if the World Assembly has yet to pass legislation on a particular subject, it is banned by default,

Hoping, that the World Assembly acts quickly to rectify other such legislative oversights,

Hereby Mandates, that all Member States allow their citizens to breathe,

Further Mandates, that all Member States allow citizens to breathe whatever they wish, including, but not limited to,

Oxygen,
Hydrogen,
Sulfur,
Methane,
Helium,
Ammonia,
Hydrogen Sulfide,
Carbon Monoxide,
Chlorine,
Dihydrodgen Monoxide,

beat you to it by about 4 years

[Kemintiri of Kemet]

The Right To Whole Bear
Category: Inhuman Rights | Strength: Bear
A resolution to upgrade The Right To Bear Arms

NOTING that bears have popular arms that many feel they have the right to bear

KNOWING that bears do not just consist of arms

CONSIDERING the rest of bears

HOPING that bears will get recognition not only for their borne arms

REALISING that "The Right To Bear Arms" does not include the rest of bears

UNDERSTANDING that the rest of bears are just as fun as just their arms

DECLARING that we, of the World Assembly, have "The Right To Whole Bear"

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Bears do not have arms. They have four legs.

Very original.

[Australian rePublic]

:roll: Bears do not have arms. They have four legs.

Very original.

Don't you get it, it's a pun. The right to bear arms and the right to whole bears

[Kaboomlandia]

Shameless jab at On Plant Rights...

Ban on Mowing the Lawn

Category: Think of the poor grass! | Strength: Sweeping | Proposed By: Kaboomlandia

The World Assembly:

BELIEVING that grass is a sentient being and deserves to live;

ASKING why humans would ever kill the grass;

HEREBY

DEFINES "mowing the lawn" as cutting down grass;

BANS the mowing of the lawn.

[Kaboomlandia]

On Looting Offices

Category: Office Cleanup | Strength: Sweeping

The World Assembly:

KNOWING that sometimes members of the World Assembly just throw up their hands and leave;

ANNOYED that this leaves an empty office that just takes up space;

NOTING that the ambassadors don't come back to get their stuff;

ACKNOWLEDGING that other members of the World Assembly sometimes need extra office supplies;

HEREBY

PERMITS all willing ambassadors of the World Assembly to freely loot the offices of ex-members at will.

[Atomic Utopia]

On Mandatory Open Carry of Nuclear Arms

Category: Arms Regulation | Strength: Sweeping

The World Assembly:

RECOGNIZING that the threat of mutual nuclear and thermonuclear destruction has reigned in peace among nations;

ANNOYED that despite this there is continued gang warfare and violence;

NOTING that an armed society is a polite society;

ACKNOWLEDGING that if you ban something only the bad guys will have that something;

HEREBY

MANDATES that all nations equip all citizens with tactical nuclear weapons and delivery systems.

[Rhinumehr]

Rather than a mega-thread, there should be a subforum. Easier to find separate proposals, and to find what proposal a comment is aimed at.

[Frisbeeteria]

Rather than a mega-thread, there should be a subforum.

If we only allowed stuff that was actually funny or silly, this wouldn't need a mega-thread. Just a /thread would do.

[Caracasus]

Alarmed at the poor spelling and general confusion surrounding homophones found in many nation states (Caracasus included)

Wishing to avoid hilarious yet tragic consequences should nations pass legislation without aid of a spell checker

concerned that peaceful, communal living giant apes may find themselves in possession of firearms, or hauled up on war crime charges. Also wishing to avoid partisan fighters finding themselves tranquilized and fitted with radio collars before being released into the wild.

Mandates that no WA nation passes legislation on either guerrillas or gorillas.

[Bears Armed]

Alarmed at the poor spelling and general confusion surrounding homophones found in many nation states (Caracasus included)

Equal Rights for Homophones

Category: Human Rights.
Strength: Significant.

The World Assembly,

Believing that people have a right to be what they are,

Believing therefore that Homophones should have just as many rights as Heterophones;

Hereby bans any and all discrimination against Homophones within member nations.

[Wallenburg]

A Resolution on

Category: Computer Program | Strength: Highly Irritating

RECOGNIZING the significance of the video game Minecraft in the culture of many nations,

COMMENDING the creators of Minecraft for their hard work and the brilliance of their game,

NOTICING that many nations in the multiverse do not appreciate Minecraft,

ENCOURAGING all nations to show a little respect to the Minecraft community,

REQUIRING all World Assembly nations to build a replica of their nation in Minecraft,

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY RESOLVES that Minecraft-hating nations will just have to deal with it and stop being so disrespectful of the hard work of others.

[Yukonastan]

Ban Popups!
Proposed by: Does it matter? | Strength: Mod-firing

RECOGNIZING that popups are obtrusive;

REGRETTING that such popups may be "untameable"

FRUSTRATED with the reduction in productivity resulting from popup advertising; and

PISSED at the audacity of "those damn popups"

HEREBY the World Assembly moves to

BAN the production, testing, delivering, and viewing of popups;

PUNISH creators of such intrusive ways of advertising with a slap on the wrist; and

DECREES that all member states devote at least $1,000,000 or 5% of GDP on popup blocking research; and finally

PERMITS individuals engaged in such research to create popups for testing of popup blockers.

[Blaccakre]

viewtopic.php?p=25116378#p25116378

[Defwa]

SEEING some digits as stubbornly uneven,

DISAPPROVING of such impure quantitative unit sets,

Hereby,

2. BANS show of whatever number that cannot divide easily in half as integers,

4. ALLOWS substitution of each number that isn't even with this expression: half of double that original non-legal number,

6. CONDEMNS each word that is itself uneven in characters,

8. THINKING of children, whom will be assisted most.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

h/t Grays Harbor for the title.

Happy Organic Puppies For The Children
Category: Rainbows, Unicorns, and Cinnamon Buns | Strength: Cloying

UNDERSTANDING that children are our future and also totally never selfish little brats;

MEANING to make a nice resolution for nice people that sounds nice for a change, rather than all this jiggery-pokery about machine minds, alcohol abuse, and the slaughter of civilians;

SQUEEING with joy at the notion that our wittow childwen are totally prepared to be responsible for the care of animals;

and

REALLY REALLY REALLY STOKED because it loves it the shit out of some dogs,

the World Assembly herby:

1. Establishes the Happy Organic Puppy Farm, Training Center, and Cineplex ("HOPF"),

2. Directs member nations to cause their inhabitants to feel happy about the HOPF since it is, after all, Happy,

3. Charges the HOPF to aid member nations in the safe raising and distribution of puppies, and in keeping them from being given to mean or unsuitable owners,

4. Mandates that playing with puppies be carried out only in a safe and caring environment.

5. Also, by the way, and whistling nonchalantly, defines "puppy" as "nuclear weapon," "playing" as "use against a target," "safe and caring environment" as "dire strategic necessity," and "unsuitable owner" as "non-WA member, terrorist, or criminal organization or individual."

[Imperium Anglorum]

h/t Grays Harbor for the title.

Happy Organic Puppies For The Children
Category: Rainbows, Unicorns, and Cinnamon Buns | Strength: Cloying

UNDERSTANDING that children are our future and also totally never selfish little brats;

MEANING to make a nice resolution for nice people that sounds nice for a change, rather than all this jiggery-pokery about machine minds, alcohol abuse, and the slaughter of civilians;

SQUEEING with joy at the notion that our wittow childwen are totally prepared to be responsible for the care of animals;

and

REALLY REALLY REALLY STOKED because it loves it the shit out of some dogs,

the World Assembly herby:

1. Establishes the Happy Organic Puppy Farm, Training Center, and Cineplex ("HOPF"),

2. Directs member nations to cause their inhabitants to feel happy about the HOPF since it is, after all, Happy,

3. Charges the HOPF to aid member nations in the safe raising and distribution of puppies, and in keeping them from being given to mean or unsuitable owners,

4. Mandates that playing with puppies be carried out only in a safe and caring environment.

5. Also, by the way, and whistling nonchalantly, defines "puppy" as "nuclear weapon," "playing" as "use against a target," "safe and caring environment" as "dire strategic necessity," and "unsuitable owner" as "non-WA member, terrorist, or criminal organization or individual."

I would vote for it.

[Sobaira]

OOC: What better way to get into the practice of writing my own proposals?

Prohibiting Animal Abuse
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Significant

RECOGNIZING that animals are sentient beings capable of experiencing stress, fear, and pain;

BEMOANING that sometimes those very same animals are big stupid fat jerks;

APPALLED at the lack of legislature to defend us against those non-person bullies;

RESOLVED to fix that problem and give them a taste of their own medicine,

the World Assembly herby:

1. DEFINES an ANIMAL JERK (hereafter an AJ) as an animal that has ever in its existence harmed or caused distress to a person, or will do so in the foreseeable future,

2. GRANTS the right to every citizen to accost an AJ,

3. ABSOLVES every citizen of what they may do when they accost an AJ,

4. REQUIRES that every citizen when confronted by an AJ do at least as much damage to them as the AJ probably has done to others, if not in excess of this, up to and beyond pointlessly killing the AJ,

4.a ENCOURAGES giving AJs noogies, wedgies, titty twisters, hurts doughnuts, wet willies, swirlies, or whatever they deem appropriate to defend themselves against the AJ if they are to leave it alive,

5. ENCOURAGES making public displays of comeuppance against the AJ, such as in front of their peers, friends, family, or loved ones,

6. REQUIRES that no meat or useful product from an AJ be used because who would want to use those jerks anyway,

7. ENCOURAGES as part of 5. to make a show of intentionally wasting the products from a killed AJ, such as but not limited to burning their bodies, flushing them down the toilet, or defecating right onto them,

8. HOPES that animals learn their lesson, think of the children, and end this abuse.

[Imperium Anglorum]

OOC: What better way to get into the practice of writing my own proposals?

Prohibiting Animal Abuse
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Significant

RECOGNIZING that animals are sentient beings capable of experiencing stress, fear, and pain;

BEMOANING that sometimes those very same animals are big stupid fat jerks;

APPALLED at the lack of legislature to defend us against those non-person bullies;

RESOLVED to fix that problem and give them a taste of their own medicine,

the World Assembly herby:

1. DEFINES an ANIMAL JERK (hereafter an AJ) as an animal that has ever in its existence harmed or caused distress to a person, or will do so in the foreseeable future,

2. GRANTS the right to every citizen to accost an AJ,

3. ABSOLVES every citizen of what they may do when they accost an AJ,

4. REQUIRES that every citizen when confronted by an AJ do at least as much damage to them as the AJ probably has done to others, if not in excess of this, up to and beyond pointlessly killing the AJ,

4.a ENCOURAGES giving AJs noogies, wedgies, titty twisters, hurts doughnuts, wet willies, swirlies, or whatever they deem appropriate to defend themselves against the AJ if they are to leave it alive,

5. ENCOURAGES making public displays of comeuppance against the AJ, such as in front of their peers, friends, family, or loved ones,

6. REQUIRES that no meat or useful product from an AJ be used because who would want to use those jerks anyway,

7. ENCOURAGES as part of 5. to make a show of intentionally wasting the products from a killed AJ, such as but not limited to burning their bodies, flushing them down the toilet, or defecating right onto them,

8. HOPES that animals learn their lesson, think of the children, and end this abuse.

*Founds region*, *gets a single endorsement*, *approved*.

[Sjaelland and Fyn]

Prohibition of "Deez Nuts"
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong

The Esteemed Nations of the WA,
ASHAMED of the constant use of the phrase "Deez Nuts" in conversation,
AWARE that this phrase is just outright terrible,

Hereby:
PROHIBITS the use of the phrases "Deez Nuts", "Deez Nutz", "These Nuts", or any other variation of the phrase in conversation
EXEMPTS the phrase "these nuts" if the speaker is referring to the food
MANDATES that any current use of the phrase should be replaced by the phrase "Doze Nuts", "Doze Nutz", "Those Nuts", or any other variation of that phrase

[Adab]

Ban Life
Category: Miscellaneous | Strength: Extremely Strong

The Forsaken Nations of the World Assembly,

Recognizing that our existence has only served to cause homelessness, disease, poverty, war, bloodshed, profanity, and the potential of nuclear holocaust among other problems,

Noting that countless millennia of existence have done nothing to improve this situation and instead has made it even worse with the passage of time,

Appalled that our intelligence, so greatly endorsed and nurtured throughout the ages for various purposes, has only led us down the path of darkness, in which peace among all nations has become a far-fetched fantasy and the ideas of honesty, cordiality, and humbleness dead amid the mud and the blood and the beer of civilization,

Further noting that our keen wits have served as a wicked, destructive instrument, spreading mischief and suffering across the plane of existence,

Concluding that life has been one utterly unsuccessful exercise,

Hereby:
Forbids life, and orders all member nations to take appropriate measures to ensure that life ceases to exist in any and all forms, even if that means trouble with non-member states.