[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Nigerian Kenya]

World Assembly SOPA Act:

The World Assembly,

COMMENDING the united states congress for its valiant attempt to pass SOPA, which shows true courage to do what is right, even though they failed to complete the task,
BELIEVING that SOPA was a very good idea and a thing that definitely should have passed, but the best possible policy is one that goes even farther,

HEREBY DECLARES THAT:
1. Each nation, even if it is not a WA Nation, shall have a nationwide internet firewall that blocks copyright-violating websites in the same exact manner that SOPA would have.
2. This firewall shall also block sites for a collection of other reasons, very similar to that of the Great Firewall of China.
3. Everyone in each nation, including Non-WA Nations, not in that nation's federal government will be ineligible to break through said firewall.
4. There shall be no excuse for illegally attempting to break through said firewall, regardless of whether the attempt was successful or not. The punishment is death on the first offense.
5. The individual owners of each nation, including Non-WA Nations are encouraged to follow these restrictions in their own, real, non-nationstates lives.

[Wrapper]

World Assembly SOAP Act:

The World Assembly,

COMMENDING the united states congress for its valiant attempt to use SOAP, which shows true courage to do what is right, even though they failed to complete the task,
BELIEVING that SOAP was a very good idea and a thing that definitely should have passed, but the best possible policy is one that goes even farther,

HEREBY DECLARES THAT:
1. Each nation, even if it is not a WA Nation, shall have free SOAP for everyone.

Fixed that for you. Now go take a shower!

[Hakio]

World Assembly SOAP Act:

The World Assembly,

COMMENDING the united states congress for its valiant attempt to use SOAP, which shows true courage to do what is right, even though they failed to complete the task,
BELIEVING that SOAP was a very good idea and a thing that definitely should have passed, but the best possible policy is one that goes even farther,

HEREBY DECLARES THAT:
1. Each nation, even if it is not a WA Nation, shall have free SOAP for everyone.

Fixed that for you. Now go take a shower!

Approved!

[Brunstab]

The World Assembly,

Observing that Mondays are the most depressing days of the week for many beings,
Noting that many land based beings find liquids raining upon them from the sky saddening,

Hereby bans: rainy Mondays.

[Araraukar]

The World Assembly,

Observing that Mondays are the most depressing days of the week for many beings,
Noting that many land based beings find liquids raining upon them from the sky saddening,

Hereby bans: rainy Mondays.

I'll support if you also ban rain on weekends.

[Mundiferrum]

The World Assembly,

Observing that Mondays are the most depressing days of the week for many beings,
Noting that many land based beings find liquids raining upon them from the sky saddening,

Hereby bans: rainy Mondays.

I'll support if you also ban rain on weekends.

What? Do rainy days and Mondays always bring you down? Whenever you're hanging around, with nothing to do but frown?

[Wrapper]

What? Do rainy days and Mondays always bring you down? Whenever you're hanging around, with nothing to do but frown?

I don't like Mondays. I wanna shoot the whole day down.

[Lavan Tiri]

Ban on Darkseid
Category: Health | Area of Effect: Humanitarian Aid
Author:Your Mom

THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY:

ACCEPTS that we have superheroes for a reason,

BELIEVES that normal villains like Lex Luther and Atomic Skull are, while not "good", are at least containable,

HORRIFIED that some villains, such as the deceased Brainiac, are far more powerful than can be contained,

DISTURBED at the New God Darkseid's frequent attempts to destroy the Earth, and his fetish-like penchant for destroying Metropolis,

ACKNOWLEDGES that Darkseid is a big meany,
and

NOTING that he is not a WA nation, but Superman is,

DECREES a total ban on Darkseid, and all things associated with him, and

ORDERS that any sighting(s) of things related to Darkseid should be reported immediately, so the area may be cordoned off and nuked.

[Honor and Glory]

DECREES a total ban on Darkseid, and all things associated with him, and

Would that not ban superman? and most of the DC multivers as well. Darkseid can be associated to a lot of stuff.

[Lavan Tiri]

DECREES a total ban on Darkseid, and all things associated with him, and

Would that not ban superman? and most of the DC multivers as well. Darkseid can be associated to a lot of stuff.

That's the point.

[Defwa]

Marvel is better anyway

[District XIV]

Marvel is better anyway

"Trying to spark some controversy there, ambassador?" the Fourtese delegate chuckles.

[Honor and Glory]

That's the point.

*flicks his nose* gotcha

[Lavan Tiri]

That's the point.

*flicks his nose* gotcha

*nueters him/her/it*

[Hakio]

Please, Think of the Alien-Synthetics Act!


Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Patronizing

The World Assembly,

Realizing that most of the Ambassadors making up this council are human,

Pissed off that you don't think of the gelatinous blob alien ambassador in the back when writing your proposals,

Believing that your ignorance of the plight of sentient synthetics is saddening, thus the least you can do is keep them in mind when you're writing your horrible human-centric proposals,

Hoping that you are not actually a speciesist who is bigoted towards the aliens of other planets, moons, stars, and asteroids,

Blames such shortcomings in international understandings for the creation and success of the Borg, a cybernetic super race of robotic humanoids and their aggressions towards our fleshy selves,

Hereby creates the Think of the Aliens Research Team or TART to turn all proposal writers into bleeding hearts sympathetic of our extraterrestrial brethren or else be punished by having to clean the King of the Hutts,

Further urging people to overthink and overcomplicate all of their resolutions as to be interspecially appropriate.

[Bezombia]

Thread needs more action.
Here we go!

On the Enforcement of Local Laws

NOTING that most nations have their own local set of laws;

FURTHER NOTING that in many cases these laws differ from WA statutes;

FURTHER FURTHER NOTING that these laws are, 100% of the time, created by Nationstates Issues;

FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER NOTING that many WA statutes invalidate these Issues;

FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER NOTING that this is basically two gameplay elements conflicting with each other;

FINALLY FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER NOTING that this is ridiculous;

The World Assembly,

MANDATES that all further (etc.) WA resolutions fully comply with all Nationstates Issues;

MANDATES that all further (etc.) Nationstates Issues fully comply with all WA resolutions;

IGNORES how ridiculous this proposal is;

CREATES the Council for Council Creation and Maintenance, a completely irrelevant council that has nothing to do with this proposal;

UNCREATES that council, because it's dumb;

FURTHER MANDATES a limit of three "furthers" preceding each clause in all future mandates;

HEREBY does all the shit listed above.

[Mereon]

I poasted in the wrong thread, so I'm moving this over here:

Proposal

---

Ban on Torture

DEFINING torture as any act performed with the intent to cause undue distress and/or pain upon a person in order to extract information.

RECOGNIZING that such methods are physically damaging and morally wrong

HEREBY creates the World Assembly Rights Insurance Organization (WARIO).

DEMANDS that all nations currently practicing torture must cease and desist.

THANKS YOU for your effort, and a

GIFT BASKET will be sent shortly.

[Ainocra]

On Chester Pearson
A resolution to modify universal standards of healthcare for Chester.

Category: Health
Area of Effect: Healthcare
Proposed by: Ainocra

Recognizing: That Chester has been a huge grumpy pants lately.
Suspects: that the cause of said grumpiness is due to many factors, most notably that his shoes and his pants are both too tight.
Affirms: that Chester needs to cheer up.

To that end
Directs: The World Assembly General Fund to procure the services of an escort for said grumpy pants for a period of no less than 48 hours.
Empowers: said escort to perform acts of questionable morality upon the person of grumpy pants until such a time as he is once again fit for sentient company.
Orders: the GAO to audit Chester's happiness level and repeat the above steps as necessary.

Cognizant: of the fact that he will throw something at me any minute.
Insists: That this will be good for his mental health.

[Chester Pearson]

On Chester Pearson
A resolution to modify universal standards of healthcare for Chester.

Category: Health
Area of Effect: Healthcare
Proposed by: Ainocra

Recognizing: That Chester has been a huge grumpy pants lately.
Suspects: that the cause of said grumpiness is due to many factors, most notably that his shoes and his pants are both too tight.
Affirms: that Chester needs to cheer up.

To that end
Directs: The World Assembly General Fund to procure the services of an escort for said grumpy pants for a period of no less than 48 hours.
Empowers: said escort to perform acts of questionable morality upon the person of grumpy pants until such a time as he is once again fit for sentient company.
Orders: the GAO to audit Chester's happiness level and repeat the above steps as necessary.

Cognizant: of the fact that he will throw something at me any minute.
Insists: That this will be good for his mental health.

[Greater Louisistan]

The Last Christmas Act
A resolution to get on your nerves
Category: Earworm/Commendation | Strength: Overpowering | In Violation of: Earworm Creation Ban

NOTING that Last Christmas the WA gave you its heart
APPALED that the very next day, you gave it away

this year to save itself from tears,
the WA RESOLVES,

the WA will give it to someone special

and thus hereby commends Christmas.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Strength: Overpowering | In Violation of: Earworm Creation Ban

It sure as hell is both of those things

I see your pop secular earworm and raise you a devout post-medieval heart-wrencher! For all our sanity's sakes.

[The Unwanted Cake Mongers]

So Im pretty new here and I had an idea for a proposal to the General Assembly, but apparently such shenanigans are frown upon so following something I read in the rules I thought Id post it here.
The proposal argues that the sale to, ownership, or operation of weapons of mass destruction to civilians should be banned. However if civilians do wish to become the owners of a weapon of mass destruction they must file to buy a tick to the bi-annual weapons raffle, the proceeds of which will go to the girls scouts association for the purpose of purchasing drug sniffing dogs.

just saying...

[Imperium Anglorum]

Resolution for Extraterrestrial Threats
Category: International Security | Strength: Significant

The World Assembly,

RECOGNISING that the there exists an existential threat to civilisation by extraterrestrial forms of life;

CONDEMNING unpreparedness in the face of that non-zero possibility;

Hereby,

URGES security funding into orbital weapons platforms equipped with railguns designed to fire warheads with a yield above 500 gigatons of TNT for the security of mankind, and

DRAFTS all persons with a last name of 'Shepard' or a name of 'John-117' into the military for active service in case of an extraterrestrial attack.

[Nigerian Kenya]

Universal Military Conscription Act:

RESPECTING those who willingly serve in the military of their nation, but

REALIZING that in many cases a solely-volunteer-based military is not fully sufficient to meet the military needs of a given nation, hereby declares that:

1) EVERY first-born male child will be separated from their parents at age 3 and will be educated academically and militarily separate from the rest of the populace, and will sleep in military-style barracks. Until such time that they reach age 60, they will be forced to go to bed at 8 pm each evening (unless fighting-related obligations necessitate an exception), and will not be allowed to celebrate holidays or birthdays, have any sort of love life, or have unsupervised use of any mechanical or electronic devices.

2) EACH of these children shall serve as official members of the military from the age of majority in their nation until age 60, at which point they will be forced into retirement.

3) ANYONE who tries to resist this draft will serve at least 4 years in jail. Death may be used as a punishment in extraordinary circumstances, at the discretion of each nation.

4) Children born prior to the passage of this resolution are not subject to it, regardless of their place in the birth order.

5) The remaining populace will still be encouraged to serve in the military on a volunteer basis.

6) This resolution applies to WA and NON-WA nations, and is immune to repeal once passed.

[Lavan Tiri]

On Your Mom.
Category: Tasteless Jokes | Area of Effect: Your Mom | Author: Inigo Montoya.

THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY:

ACKNOWLEDGING that your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house she really sits around the house,

RECOGNIZING that your mom is so dumb that she sold her car for gas money,

BELIEVING that your mom is so ugly, even Hello Kitty said goodbye,

HEREBY makes your mom your mom.