[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Wrapper]

Easy Come, Easy Go, Will You Let Him Go?
Category: Rhapsody | Type: Bohemian

The Assembled Nations of the World,

WHILE ACKNOWLEDGING that he just killed a man

ALSO NOTING that Beezlebub has a devil put aside for him

REALIZING that he is just a poor boy and nobody loves him
____________________________________________________________

HEREBY spares his life from this monstrosity

ALLOWING him to go anywhere the wind blows

We hereby stone you and spit in your eye.

[Australian rePublic]

Easy Come, Easy Go, Will You Let Him Go?
Category: Rhapsody | Type: Bohemian

The Assembled Nations of the World,

WHILE ACKNOWLEDGING that he just killed a man

ALSO NOTING that Beezlebub has a devil put aside for him

REALIZING that he is just a poor boy and nobody loves him
____________________________________________________________

HEREBY spares his life from this monstrosity

ALLOWING him to go anywhere the wind blows

We hereby stone you and spit in your eye.

He put a gun against he's head, pulled the triger and now he's dead
He also stated that he needs no sympathy

[The Union of Sjaelland and Fyn]

Alright, version 2:

Easy Come, Easy Go, Will You Let Him Go?
Category: Rhapsody | Type: Bohemian

The Assembled Nations of the World,

WHILE ACKNOWLEDGING that he just killed a man

SPECIFYING that put a gun against his head, then pulled the trigger, now he's dead

ALSO NOTING that Beezlebub has a devil put aside for him

REALIZING that he is just a poor boy and nobody loves him

ALSO REALIZING that people think he can stone him and spit in his eye
____________________________________________________________

HEREBY spares his life from this monstrosity

ALLOWING him to go anywhere the wind blows

REMINDING THE WA that he needs no sympathy

[Wrapper]

Alright, version 2:

Easy Come, Easy Go, Will You Let Him Go?
Category: Rhapsody | Type: Bohemian

The Assembled Nations of the World,

WHILE ACKNOWLEDGING that he just killed a man

SPECIFYING that put a gun against his head, then pulled the trigger, now he's dead

ALSO NOTING that Beezlebub has a devil put aside for him

REALIZING that he is just a poor boy and nobody loves him

ALSO REALIZING that people think he can stone him and spit in his eye
____________________________________________________________

HEREBY spares his life from this monstrosity

ALLOWING him to go anywhere the wind blows

REMINDING THE WA that he needs no sympathy

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

(Oh mamma mia....)

[Araraukar]

Earworm Creation Ban

Category: Sanity Rights
Strength: over 9000

The World Assembly,

DEFINING "earworm" as a song or melody that keeps playing in one's head as though they were stuck repeating a single music file,

TESTIFYING that such an earworm can be very annoying, persist for a long time, and be triggered by just the lyrics if one knows the song well,

Hereby,

BANS proposal texts that include well-known lyrics that can cause earworms,

CREATES the Gnome Earworm Prevention Team, which will go around and shoot anyone trying to cause others to have earworms via textual representation.

ENCOURAGES everyone to use the Nyan Cat as an eardewormer.

[Bears Armed]

Earworm Creation Ban

Category: Sanity Rights
Strength: over 9000

The World Assembly,

DEFINING "earworm" as a song or melody that keeps playing in one's head as though they were stuck repeating a single music file,

TESTIFYING that such an earworm can be very annoying, persist for a long time, and be triggered by just the lyrics if one knows the song well,

Hereby,

BANS proposal texts that include well-known lyrics that can cause earworms,

CREATES the Gnome Earworm Prevention Team, which will go around and shoot anyone trying to cause others to have earworms via textual representation.

ENCOURAGES everyone to use the Nyan Cat as an eardewormer.

APPROVED.

^_^

[Lysset]

Ban on the Abuse of Robotic Miners

Category: Robots' Rights
Strength: Significant

The World Assembly,

CONCERNED for the welfare of robotic miners, and that the abuse of these miners may result in the long-feared "Robot Uprising",

DEFINING "Robot Uprising" as "the intentional rebellion of any and all autonomous units with fully functioning Artificial Intelligence against their creators in a violent or lethal manner",

DEFINING "Robotic Miner" as "any autonomous unit with fully functioning Artificial Intelligence capable of extracting valuable or otherwise useful resources from any form of stone or rock, above- or underground",

DEFINING "Abuse of Robotic Miners" as:

1. The intentional misuse of robotic miners for roles other than their intended purpose for an extended period of time and without their consent,
2. The intentional denial of robotic miners such necessities as maintenance, refueling/recharging, or upgrades when such facilities are available, and
3. The practice of intentionally sending robotic miners into dangerous and/or compromising situations when such practices are unnecessary, or without their consent,

HEREBY BANS the abuse of robotic miners as detailed above,

FORBIDS member-nations from transporting robotic miners to nonmember-nations so as to deliberately circumvent this ban,

DEMANDS that member-nations criminalize the abuse of robotic miners as detailed above, and

RECOMMENDS that any nations who are currently dealing with any uprisings of robotic miners as detailed above by sending in mercenaries and military personnel equipped with specialized vehicles and weapons to shut down and/or destroy any hostile robotic miners while ensuring that non-hostile robotic miners are left intact and also rescuing any non-robotic miners that may have been taken hostage, while

CLARIFYING that nations are still free to enact more stringent laws against the abuse of robotic miners.

[Defwa]

Except for the last line in defining which defeats much of the purpose of robot miners, I would actually support that

[Lysset]

Except for the last line in defining which defeats much of the purpose of robot miners, I would actually support that

Well, if it ever actually got passed you could repeal it and get a better resolution passed...

That being said, I doubt that the General Assembly would be interested in passing this sort of resolution anyway, considering the rarity of robotic miners outside of post-modern and future tech nations.

[Araraukar]

considering the rarity of robotic miners outside of post-modern and future tech nations.

OOC: Most tunneling machines IRL might count as "robotic miners" most likely, since they are largely autonomous, though lacking in true AI. Just thought I'd mention, no intention of threadjacking this thread.

[Louisistan]

Read the Debate Act
A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.

Category: Furtherment of Democracy | Strength: Mild |Proposed by: Louisistan

NOTICING a certain misinformedness of nations during discussions of GA proposals outside of the GA chamber,
ATTRIBUTING this to the fact that most WA members do not participate in the General Assembly debates,
APPLAUDING the good work of GAR #122 'Read the Resolution Act' in this field,
nevertheless NOTICING that GAR #122 doesn't go too far enough,

the WA General Assembly hereby

CREATES the World Assembly General Assembly Debate Transcription Bueraucracy (WAGADTB) and TASKS it with
i) Creating written records and transcripts of all debates on the General Assembly floor,
ii) Publishing and archiving those records and
iii) enabling all member nations to access those records

MANDATES every Ambassador to the World Assembly to read the WAGADTB Debate transcripts referring to a proposal before voting on that proposal

furthermore CONSIDERS that Catharge must be destroyed

[Adab]

The New Universe Order

Category: Bookkeeping Type: Sweeping

INSPIRED to do this by the divine order transmitted through Saint Attila,

UNREASONABLY CONCERNED that chaos now reigns in the Universe,

NOT FULLY KNOWING that aforementioned chaos is driven by the misguided perception that reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics and that ontologically it exists only in imagination,

HALF-TRUTHFULLY NOTING that the lives of all sentient beings have been marred by wars and injustice,

REGRETFULLY NOTING WITHOUT CONCRETE PROOF that:

1. If a life is wasted, God gets quite irate.
2. Government officials prefer doing silly walks to attending to the people.
3. Member nations are routinely violating the World Assembly laws and ignoring the World Assembly itself.

TEARFULLY DECLARES that this hallowed institution can do nothing but ring down the curtain,

NEVERTHELESS URGES member states to always look on the bright side of life,

HAPPILY NOTES that a new organization shall rise from the ashes, called the New Universe Order (NUO), which shall be the cause of much rejoicing,

HEREBY DECLARES that the New Universe Order's headquarters shall be located in the still-peaceful planet called Earth, more specifically in the Norwegian fjords,

SPECIFIES IN A BRIEF SUMMARY that:
1. The New Universe Order is established to keep control over the Universe until the arrival of the Messiah, who shall be born in an earthly stable under a great star in the sky when the time comes.
2. The New Universe Order shall dissolve itself once the Messiah announces His presence in this Universe.
3. All states in this Universe shall become provinces of the New Universe Order, as stated by Saint Attila.
4. The New Universe Order shall take care of sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health in all of its provinces.
5. The New Universe Order shall also provide an association football field within the grounds of the headquarters, which can be used by the representatives of all provinces to play association football and have philosophical discussions in peace.
6. An argument clinic shall be open at all times to provide advice to representatives on civil discourse and healthy argumentation.

PROUDLY DECLARES the establishment of a New Universe Order Armed Forces, which shall conscript a billion terrible monsters and legendary black beasts constructed by the best technologies of this Universe. Food for soldiers shall be hamsters, elderberries, and spam; hamsters and spam; elderberries and spam; or spam,

FURTHER ANNOUNCES the establishment of a New Universe Order Inquisition, solely to sentence all criminals to death. The Armed Forces shall provide hand grenades required for the execution. The last meal shall be lambs, sloths, carp, anchovies, orangutans, breakfast cereals, and fruit bats. Every execution must adhere to the method stated in the Book of Armaments, verses 9 to 21: take out the pin and count to three before throwing the grenade at the victim, no more, no less. Four shall not be counted, nor two. If the victim survives, repeat this process until he or she has died, hopped the twig, bit the dust, breathed his last, passed on, ceased to be, expired, gone to meet his or her maker, been bereft of life, kicked the bucket, shuffled off the mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the choir invisible,

FURTHER FURTHER ANNOUNCES that engaging in an act of cross-dressing on a river and in a forest; selling a dead bird; and, in the process of conducting an interview, failing to aid the interviewed in case of a medical emergency are unlawful and punishable by death,

FURTHER FURTHER FURTHER ANNOUNCES that Saint Attila shall be installed as patron saint of the New Universe Order,

AND FINALLY AT THE END OF THIS RESOLUTION DECLARES that the New Universe Order shall be the successor to the World Assembly and supreme non-divine authority of this Universe until the Messiah arrives,

PLEADS, in the name of culture, that all graves of decomposing composers be taken care of properly.

[Mundiferrum]

World Assembly Renaming Act

Category: Whatever | Strength: Strong | Proposed by: Mundiferrum

Recognizing the World Assembly as the world's governing body,
Acknowledging that the "World" being referred to by its name is the collective multiverse of nations that is, err, the world,
Further acknowledging the interspecies nature of this multiverse,
Observing incidents wherein the term "world" is confused for a singular planet, akin to the term's traditional usage,
Further observing that such confusion leads to humanocentric assumptions,
Noting that such assumptions often lead to misunderstandings in resolution debates,
Reasoning that said misunderstandings decrease the efficiency of the drafting process, and damage the health of ambassadors to the World Assembly,

The World Assembly hereby
Renames itself to the "Assembly of the General Multispecies Multiverse",
Clarifies that in resolutions passed before this, the term "World Assembly" shall effectively mean the same as "Assembly of the General Multispecies Multiverse",
and Hopes that the aforementioned misunderstandings never happen again.

[Louisistan]

General Assembly Motto Reassignment Act

NOTING the importance of a motto for such an esteemed body as this,
RECOGNIZING the fact that such a motto must be representative of the body's act and work,
REALIZING that "Improving the world one resolution at a time" is hardly a fitting description of the GA's endeavors in the last time,

the WA General Assembly

ABANDONS its earlier motto "Improving the world one resolution at a time"
and RESOLVES that henceforth this esteemed Assembly's motto is:
"Who do these foreign chappies think they are?"

[Yukonastan]

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Draft Moratorium of Thermonuclear Weapons
Category: General | Strength: Strong | Proposed by: Yukonastan

---

NOTING: that a great number of nations use weapons of mass destruction in war;

DEFINING: a weapon of mass destruction as a weapon that causes undue death and harm by the effects of: Blast; Radiation; Fire; Disease; Poisoning, and which has been actively demonstrated to take out a great amount of people and/or property with a single instance of the weapon;

RECOGNIZING: that people have been victims of weapons of mass destruction;

REALIZING: that such weapons are considered highly effective due to the death and destruction they bring;

The World Assembly General Assembly and its member states hereby

BAN the development, use, and stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction,
EXPEDITE the destruction of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction,
PROTECT innocent lives lost during development and production of weapons of mass destruction.

Thank you.

[Chester Pearson]

---

Draft Moratorium of Thermonuclear Weapons
Category: General | Strength: Strong | Proposed by: Yukonastan

---

NOTING: that a great number of nations use weapons of mass destruction in war;

DEFINING: a weapon of mass destruction as a weapon that causes undue death and harm by the effects of: Blast; Radiation; Fire; Disease; Poisoning, and which has been actively demonstrated to take out a great amount of people and/or property with a single instance of the weapon;

RECOGNIZING: that people have been victims of weapons of mass destruction;

REALIZING: that such weapons are considered highly effective due to the death and destruction they bring;

The World Assembly General Assembly and its member states hereby

BAN the development, use, and stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction,
EXPEDITE the destruction of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction,
PROTECT innocent lives lost during development and production of weapons of mass destruction.

Thank you.

Did I miss the part where I am supposed to laugh or find this amusing?

[Yukonastan]

---

Draft Moratorium of Thermonuclear Weapons
Category: General | Strength: Strong | Proposed by: Yukonastan

---

NOTING: that a great number of nations use weapons of mass destruction in war;

DEFINING: a weapon of mass destruction as a weapon that causes undue death and harm by the effects of: Blast; Radiation; Fire; Disease; Poisoning, and which has been actively demonstrated to take out a great amount of people and/or property with a single instance of the weapon;

RECOGNIZING: that people have been victims of weapons of mass destruction;

REALIZING: that such weapons are considered highly effective due to the death and destruction they bring;

The World Assembly General Assembly and its member states hereby

BAN the development, use, and stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction,
EXPEDITE the destruction of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction,
PROTECT innocent lives lost during development and production of weapons of mass destruction.

Thank you.

Did I miss the part where I am supposed to laugh or find this amusing?

Mhm. The part where I mention the banishment of thermonuclear weapons on NS.

[Mundiferrum]

Mhm. The part where I mention the banishment of thermonuclear weapons on NS.

[Frustrated Franciscans]

I've been thinking about this one for a while; real truth in resolutions: Here is the first draft.

World Assembly Carbon Exchange Market
Category: Environmental Strength: All Industries Proposed by: No sane Person Ever!

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NOTING: that the false linkage of manmade carbon dioxide emissions and global temperatures is believed by the public at large;

BELIEVING: that you can fool all of the people some of the time;

DESIRING: to make a quick killing in the market;

KNOWING that nothing we can do can actually help anyone in any way;

The World Assembly hereby

ESTABLISHES the Carbon Emission Limitation Commission, known as the no breathe / no burn committee;

REQUIRES the commission to establish mandates for corporate / individual creation of carbon dioxide

PROHIITS individuals and corporations from exceeding the quota;

ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Carbon Exchange Market (WACEM) to allow people and corporations who go under the quota to trade their remaining credits with those who go above;

UNDERSTANDS that the WACEM will change excessive fees for all transactions;

HOPES I can get a cut of the take

[District XIV]

Idea taken from this post.

Ban on Oxygen
Category: Banning | Strength: Breathtaking | Proposed By: Some Norwegian Guy

Noting that oxygen is cool and all,

Acknowledging that, erm, oxygen is required for, um, survival in many species,

Appalled that 100% of human beings in modern-tech societies die after breathing oxygen their whole life,

Distraught that species who have never made contact with oxygen may sustain serious injury or even die due to exposure,

Wishing for a solution to this problem,

Hereby:

Bans the consumption, production, inhaling, and doing whatever with or to oxygen,

Punishes those who attempt to violate these prohibitions by forcing said individuals into camps and making them inhale carbon monoxide,

Takes one last breath of oxygen before departing the floor.

[Unified Protectors]

Ban On Vehicular Left Turns

Category: Advancement of Industry | Strength: Sweeping | Proposed by: The Turn Discriminator

Description: The World Assembly,

Concerned with the current state of roadways and vehicular routes in nations as well as vehicles being operated by citizens in such roadways,

Realizing there exist a flaw in the structure of these roadways and vehicles in which compromises the safety of citizens in all nations where freedom vehicular movement is permitted,

Revealing that this flaw is the "vehicular left turn" which causes confusion on roadways by creating a third direction, and therefore option, for vehicle operators to choose from,

Understanding that a any major changes to roadways and vehicles, as a large part of infrastructure will require substantial resources on the part of nations,

Believing that such changes will be greatly beneficial and have many positive outcomes; in particular, the safety of citizens by limiting directional confusion on roadways,

Defines, for the purpose of The World Assembly:

1. A 'left turn' as a turning of an object between the bearings of 0 degrees and 180 degrees, where 0 degrees is the linear continuation of the object and 90 degrees is a right-angled right turn,
   
   
2. A 'vehicle' as an automatically or mechanically motorized means of transportation, of which vary in size, shape, and handling capabilities and travel by land. Including but not limited to: automobiles, trucks, motorcycles, bicycles, mopeds, streetcars, trains, and bulldozers and other construction equipment,
   
   
3. A 'roadway' as land over which vehicles can move, with or without obstruction, and a route for said vehicles to achieve their destination. Roadways include all: expressways, streets, highways, trails, railroads, bridges, and paved, gravelled or flattened surfaces,

Hereby:

1. Declares the 'vehicular left turn' to be outlawed in member nations,
   
   
2. Instructs all member nations to strictly enforce this policy and impose a minimum criminal punishment of 'life in prison' for any offence upon this legislation, and leaves further punishments to the discretion of member nations,
   
   
3. Requires vehicle manufacturers in member nations to pertain to this legislation and produce adequate vehicles that have no 'left-turning' function,
   
   
4. Mandates that member nations change roadways to suit such vehicles.

[Herby]

Ban On Vehicular Left Turns

Oh, hell no!

[Araraukar]

Ban On Vehicular Left Turns

To account for British (and a few other) realms, you should also ban right turns.

[District XIV]

Ban On Vehicular Left Turns

To account for British (and a few other) realms, you should also ban right turns.

Yeah, no one should ever turn down the path of rightism...

[West Angola]

CONDEMN AND BAN HERBY

Category: Cars 'n Stuff
Strength: Ineffectual

The World Assembly,

NOTING the large amount of proposals which have sought to give Herby something to do,

LAMENTING the failure of these proposals to pass,

DETERMINED to keep Herby off the street corners,

THINKING of the children,

CONVINCED that Herby is affecting the outcome of these proposals to keep him from having to work,

CHANGING the rules to make condemnations to purview of the GA and this worthy of such,

FURTHER CONVINCED that Herby is clearly bad luck for proposals,

DECIDING that he must be banned from the World Assembly to keep him from jinxing future legislation,

HERBY creates the Herby Energy Reallocation Benefit Youth to find constructive things for Herby to do.