AN INTERVIEW WITH THE EMPEROR
Pocono City- Being a reporter that is fortunate enough to cover the national sports teams, you are able to go to many different cities, countries, and regions of our huge world that you never would have seen yourself going to otherwise. It is a very rewarding experience for sure, and I will look forward to going to places such as the Whirl Islands and Hemas this time. I’ve already been to Queer Poco el Mono Ara and Hossaim, so no, I am not slighting them. Though one thing I would never have dreamt of is being in the Private Quarters of His Highness, Emperor Michael IV, here in the Royal Palace. But here I (Shannon Spencer) am, just myself and the Emperor, and of course, a couple bodyguards and a camera crew, here to talk about World Cup 54.
(Off camera)
SS: Great job with my makeup today, I’m sure you picked up your game because of where we are.
Makeup artist: Uh, sure.
SS: Before I start, may I just touch your crown? That would be so cool.
EM: (laughs) Sure. (She does and gets all giddy as the Emperor then motions to the makeup artist to brush off any possible smear on that spot).
Cameraman: On in 3, 2, 1.....
(On Camera)
SS: Good evening Newmanistan, and welcome to a most special place in Pocono City. I am joined by the biggest Rockets fan of them all, Emperor Michael IV, and this is truly a moment in which I will cherish always. Thank you, your highness, for taking this time.
EM: It is my pleasure, this is a big event for the Empire and it deserves me taking the time for it.
SS: Newmanistan took two Cups off because of the rumors that your predecessor and late sister Empress Jessica, and the Spirits of Tundra Falls were pissed off at you for continuing to display the Bird on Skates as a Trophy as disrespecting the Kingdom of Dancougar after the terrible manner in which that nation ceased to exist. It was rumored that as a means of apology you had to pull the teams out of international competition, but were given a pass for the World Baseball Classic. So, what’s different now? Why is it ok to return?
EM: My sister always told me to do what I thought was right. I feel that our people suffered enough with the length of time that were out of the World Cup, and the World Bowl as well. If I needed to be punished, it had to be me, not our people.
SS: Have you asked your sister for her blessing to return the Empire to the competition?
EM: Again, she wants me to do what I thought was right. I was in my earlier days on the throne then, and I should have been more respectful about the Bird on Skates Trophy after the Dancougar tragedy. I realize that now. I know that I have her blessing, I just know it.
SS: After Secristan ceased to exist, you moved in to take over 70% of the land, agreeing to allow Cassadaigua to move westward for the other 30%. It was a success. What do you think the Empress is thinking about this?
EM: I’m sure she would agree. We couldn’t just allow Secristan to burn to the ground and we moved in to help out their people. It wasn’t about taking over Amherst to gain complete control of the Penthoria River, but it was about helping their people. Gaining complete control of the Penthoria is a benefit, or perhaps, a reward.
SS: Some will say it was about the Penthoria, though.
EM: I know, sadly enough. But anyone thinking about it with common sense knows that it was not our intention based on what we agreed to give to Queen Cassie. They got Lakeland, for Pete’s sake. Don’t you think we would have wanted that city for its strategic location for trade to the Eastern nations of One Big Island? We also allowed them to increase their coastline on the Gulf in a greater fashion then we originally proposed. It’s not a 50-50 split because we did the original military and now humanitarian efforts, and the Queen did not object to that. They deserved to move westward, and we acknowledged that. We’re helping the former Secristani people and I know that the Cassadagans are as well. We’ve always gotten along with them, and you know that I believe in fate. I believe that this World Cup being hosted in Cassadaigua and our former World Cup 49 co-hosts The Babbage Islands is indeed fate, and perhaps the ultimate blessing of both the Empress and the Spirits for us to return to World Cup play.
SS: Unfortunately, it is unlikely that Newmanistan will make it there, though?
EM: Well, it is. But never say never. We’re talking about a nation that was down three-games-to-none in the best of seven championship series against Tarrentum in World Baseball Classic 17 and rallied to win the series. The motto is “”Making the Impossible, Possible”. It is a tough adjustment, but I don’t want to just discount our chances.
SS: Renowed statistician Margaret Johnson though quoted Newmanistan’s chances of advancing, “They better bow down and kiss my ass over and over again if they want any chance of getting there. Rubber chicken sacrifices are not sufficient.”
EM: Yeah, I know. Nor will painting the country Black and Gold, or allowing The Babbage Islands to run one of the cities in the former Secristan. You don’t mess with Margaret. She has that aura about her. But we need her, and we need her bad! It’s happened though.
SS: Getting serious again, you mention that there is a reason there are no ties to previous rosters, and that could be understand. Jeremy McAllister, Jr could have been seen as a possible coach, so I imagine he was not too happy about the news.
EM: Certainly he is not happy, but this return is about us moving on. As I said before, I have to go with my gut about what I feel is right and moving on is what is right. J-Mac and company are important people in our nation’s history, but the new Rockets teams in the World Cup are going to allow new people to establish themselves and become important as well.
SS: Why is it, in your estimation, that Newmanistan can’t just pick up where they left off? All of the sudden we have to stink and work our way up again?
EM: You’ll have to ask Margaret that. What it is, is a transition. I think we’ll play well, and the team will show flashes of what made Newmanistan once a top-25 ranked team in the world. But at the same time, we will show that inexperience. Transitions like this are not easy. I made mistakes in my first few years as Emperor, and as good as we know our national team is, they may make some mistakes, and we will have to be understanding of them. But as I have said, we have that ability in us. And I’m sure Queer Poco el Mono Ara staff aren’t looking at us as the 204th ranked team, but as the Newmanistan that was once a top-25. I’m sure the Whirl Islands is thinking “Dammit, why do THEY have to be third seed in our zone?!” We still have that aura.
SS: One thing to note, too, is that we will be hosting an interzonal. What went into that?
EM: Well, our relationship with the governing bodies of both of the hosts obviously helped when we submitted our application. And I think that they both know that a Newmanistan that returns to World Cup prominence will only benefit them as a fellow nation of One Big Island. I think too, they wanted to have one interzonal here within the region, so there were a number of factors that worked well for us. I think that the Rockets will indeed make the interzonal, but if not our fans can count on watching teams of a high level play on our soil once again. There’s some good nations potentially waiting in the wings.
SS: It all starts with a friendly against The Babbage Islands and it is built up as the Empire’s “We’re back!” game. It will be held in Tundra Falls, and it should be exciting.
EM: It’s definitely a game intended to celebrate our return, and I thank The Babbage Islands for accepting the offer. They were the natural first choice, given we once hosted a World Cup together, as you know. It’s obviously a great test for us, they have become a powerhouse. I don’t know if we’ll feel the full force of their starting lineup or not, but I know that we will use our full starting lineup. For us, we gotta get these guys working as a unit against a nation of their caliber. I hope it is a good game and it’s a great way to kick this off.
SS: Well then, I guess that just about covers everything. I’d like to thank the Emperor for his time, and inviting us to this special room in the Palace.
EM: It was my pleasure. I hope that all of our wonderful people enjoy the World Cup, and the return of the Rockets at this level of competition. If our fans know one thing, it’s that qualifying for the World Cup is difficult so I know the expectations will be reasonable. Remember, as Tarrentum learned on the baseball diamond, we are the nation that makes the impossible, possible, so believe in us, tonight, and every night.