6 Nations Invitational (Rugby Union)

[Somewhereistonia]

Given the lack of a finish to other international Rugby Union tournaments (and as such, lack of proper international practice), the BSA has decided to run a 6 nation invitational tournament, hosted in the nation.

Scorination:

Scorination will be done with Starblaydia's scorinator at around 21:00 UTC. Matchday 1 will be today. I will also use post-WC14 ranks for this tournament.

Tiebreakers if teams finish level on points will be: 1) Points Difference 2) Points for 3) Wins 4) Flipping a coin.

Tournament Format:

Each of the 6 teams are to play each other in the group stage once, with the top 4 teams going through to the semi finals and the winners of those, the final.

MATCHDAY 1
Somewhereistonia v Sorthern Northland
Kelssek v Quintessence of Dust
St Paul's Isle v Virabia
MATCHDAY 2
Quintessence of Dust v Somewhereistonia
Virabia v Sorthern Northland
St Paul's Isle v Kelssek
MATCHDAY 3
Somewhereistonia v Virabia
Quintessence of Dust v St Paul's Isle
Sorthern Northland v Kelssek
MATCHDAY 4
St Paul's Isle v Somewhereistonia
Kelssek v Virabia
Sorthern Northland v Quintessence of Dust
MATCHDAY 5
Somewhereistonia v Kelssek
St Paul's Isle v Sorthern Northland
Virabia v Quintessence of Dust

Teams:
Somewhereistonia
Kelssek
St Paul's Isle
Virabia
Quintessence of Dust
Sorthern Northland

[Somewhereistonia]

Nation: Somewhereistonia
Team Nickname: Eagles
Home stadium: Spektakl-3-Arena
Kit:
First Kit Second Kit Third Kit

Like other Somewhereistonia teams, the national Rugby team is very attacking, focusing on well drilled teamwork and intricate passing. The team have been training solidly in recent weeks in the hope that they can at least win their own tournament.

Coach: Jaak Taagepera

1. Toomas Kaska (33) [Kabano Bears] Captain
2. Oleksandr Pedegs (27) [Qasarian Sparta]
3. Vīts Tomkevičius (23) [Kabano Bears]
4. Urbin Milovski (31) [Qasarian Sparta]
5. Vladimir Kūhna (23) [Kabano Bears]
6. Aurimas Matović (25) [Vairas]
7. Povilas Jacoby (28) [Qasarian Sparta]
8. Frikis Alksnis (27) [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek, QOD]
9. Mart Banoldas (27) [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek, QOD]
10. Stanislavs Sveshnikov (33) [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek, QOD] Vice-Captain
11. Toomas Malchanchenko (30) [Toonmar, QOD]
12. Nikolaj Kūla (30) [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek, QOD]
13. Egidijus Mäkelä (21) [Balakas Birzai]
14. Marislav Kühnert (26) [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek, QOD]
15. Tadas Galkevičius (28) [Põlema Klaipaada]


16. Kukas Varnas (26) [Kursiai Regbio] Fwd
17. Žilvinas Varnas (24) [Mažeikiai Heretics] Fwd
18. Kaspars Prohorenkovs (24) [Baltrex] Fwd (Hooker)
19. Maksims Žofčák (24) [Tourseilles, QOD] Fwd
20. Kristaps Tamošauskas (22) [Balakas Birzai] No. 8
21. Marek Valdas (29) [An Mhumhain, SNO] Half-Back
22. Arytom Nekhaychik (24) [Zzubs, QOD] Half-Back
23. Jarics Aasmäe (27) [RFK Koltelcia] Back
24. Yakov Kallas (28) [Kabano Bears] Back
25. Tomáš Rafaļskis (18) [Talla Heretics] Back
26. Andrejs Kamešs (22) [Karrakiv Wolves] Back
27. Tõnu Altomäns (24) [Qasarian Sparta] Full-Back/Wing
28. Tomas Kļava (22) [Kabano Bears] Full-Back/Wing
29. Rüdiger Grebis (24) [RFK Koltelcia] Full-back/Wing
30. Aleksandr Likhtarovich (21) [Kabano Bears] Utility player

[img]http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/teamsheet.png?t=1240361339]Positions[/img]

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y (Nothing Major)
Godmode injuries Y (see above)
Godmode other events Y

[St Pauls Isle]

St Paul's Isle Squad - The Saints

1. PROP - Christopher Brooks (24, Western Warriors)
2. HOOK - Matthew Cavanagh (26, Newington Reds)
3. PROP - Kevin Corry (30, Kingsbury Royals)
4. LOCK - John Andrews (20, Kingsbury Royals)
5. LOCK - Chris Aston (23, Howlsford Wolves)
6. FLNK - Daniel Fraser (31, Miller Bridge Marauders)
7. FLNK - Jim Jones (29, Richmond Rebels)
8. NUM8 - Martin Lambert (26, Dolliss Silverbacks)
9. SCRM - Joe Morrell (24, Richmond Rebels)
10. FLYH - Oliver Cohen (19, Western Warriors)
11. WING - Percy James (26, Crystal Coast Admirals)
12. CNTR - Robbie George (18, Southwood Sharks)
13. CNTR - Steve Lewis (25, Crystal Coast Admirals)
14. WING - Tommy Vale (30, Crystal Coast Admirals)
15. FLBK - Robert Shaw (26, Charlton Knights)

Replacements to follow.

[Kelssek]

Kelssek Rugby Federation | Fédération kelssekienne de rugby

First-choice lineup
1 Evan Benacki (Clayquot Reds)
2 Niall Macdonald (Burnaby Lions)
3 Marc-Claude Delachute (Glen Eira)
4 Leigh Kirwan (Breton RFC)
5 Josh Lachlan (Kirkenes Crusaders) [captain]
6 Michél-Antoine Lapierre (Champjaune Alouettes)
7 Alexandre Ducque (Burnaby Lions)
8 Lionel Beauvais (Outineau Nordiques)

9 Sean O'Bryden (Neorvins Argos) *
10 Joel Danforth (Latrobe AFC) *
11 Daniel Peel (Glen Eira)
12 Lee Navanich (Outineau Nordiques)
13 Hugh Kitchener (Vickery)
14 Leigh Newells (Latrobe AFC)
15 Alain Lafleur (Redswyth Rebels) *

Other squad members
Forwards:
Pierre-Marc Lafleur (Burnaby Lions)
Lyle Andrew (Rotor Novanaya)
Stéphane Fournier (Kirkenes Crusaders)
Rob Pender (Rotor Novonaya)
Olivier Pardeau (Mazinaw Stallions)
James Freitagge (Latrobe AFC)

Backs:
Phillip Cheung (Latrobe AFC)
Jaren Domhnaill (Neorvins Argos)
William Deekes (Kirkenes Crusaders)
Ryan Neville (Outineau Nordiques)
Patrick Cantwell (Mazinaw Stallions)
Michael Wainwright (Neorvins Argos)

Players marked with a * will generally be the ones to take kicks, with Joel Danforth the first choice for penalties and conversions.

Head coach: Gordon Canvey

RP permissions
Choose My Goal/Try Scorers: Y
Godmod Events: Y
Injure My Players: Y
Put my players in Sin bin: Y
Send my players off: Y

In general, just ask permission if you're actually going to damage any of them or make them out as really horrible people.

[Quintessence of Dust]

Nation: The Democratic States of Quintessence of Dust (QOD)
Demonym: Quodite
Team nickname: The All Greys. This is both because they wear all grey uniforms; and because while doing so, they apply mind numbingly boring approaches to the game of rugby. With the ball, they tend to set up rolling mauls, snipe around the base of rucks, and when in doubt - or, really, any time - hoof it into touch. Off the ball, the name of the game is slowing down opposition ball. The team's strengths are lineouts and kicking from hand; their weaknesses are in putting together consecutive plays.

Starters

1. Dino Krüger [Ballat]
2. Chippinho Delgado [New Cleethorpes Deathshriek]
3. Stefan Kirsch [Combined Veterans]
4. Clovis Chouinard [Tourseilles]
5. Guo Shao [Toonmar]
6. Alfred Ludwig Bathtub [NCD]
7. Rene Friedman [Tourseilles]
8. Danny Mensen (c) [Highmark City Irish]

9. Tommy Donegan [HCI]
10. Lian Liang [Toonmar]
11. Bernard Franks [An Mhumhain (SNO)]
13. Ignace Durand [Tourseilles]
12. Bill Gerhard [Karrakiv Wolves (SOM)]
14. Ron Diller [Toonmar]
15. Michael Daecher [Ballat]

Reserves: Thibaut Cliché, Matt Grey, Klaus Kastner, Soren Pinneau, Dilbert Qwakinowski; George Hall, Mathias Hedlund, Jack Peters, Florian Wysocki, Bobby Zimmerman, Willy Zimmerman.

RP Permissions: Yes.
Unless there is a compelling reason not to, please use Bill Gerhard for kicking.

[Virabia]

Somewhere in the bowels of the Virabi Rugby Authority:

The VRA's office is for the most part unremarkable. It's just a small cluster of rooms and a lobby on the 3rd floor of McDaniels Plaza, a small five story brick building which lies in the middle of downtown Portsham. Yep, the office isn't even located near those of other sports, nor is it anywhere near as large. However, that's because the VRA is the oldest sports authority in continuous operation. Dating back hundreds of years to the old North Virabi state, where Rugby League was the dominant sport and in all those years it has never moved.

The main door to the office is also just as old. Twelve feet tall, chestnut and engraved with carvings of the sport of rugby in action. It's a masterpiece and art museums from the farthest ends of the world have asked for them to be donated however, each and every time the VRA have declined.

Through those doors walked the Jack Paige, who is working at the authority for a summer internship. In his right hand he held a letter sealed in a plain, white envelope. He walked briskly through the central lobby and into Louie St.Charles' office.

"Louie", Jack said holding up the letter, "this letter came. It's from the Baltic Sports Association"

Louie looked up from his computer, "Hand it here. Now go back to calling stadiums". Jack handed the letter to Louie and then walked out of the room. Louie on the other hand looked at the letter and wondered what it could possibly be about. He figured that it must be important, so, he opened it up, took out the paper and began reading.

The Baltic Sports Association would like to extend an invitation to the Virabi Rugby Authority, for the Six Nations Rugby Invitational...

Figuring that this was the only important part of the letter, Louie decided to skim to the end. He found that he had to call a number. So he did just that. He then leaned over to pick up the phone. Fumbling it a little bit in his hands he dialled the number and brought it to his ear.

A male voice picked up, "Hello", it said in Qas-Russian.

Louie had taken a few years of the language in secondary school so he remembered the basics. Nonetheless he opted to speak in his native tongue English. "Yep, hi, I'm Louie St.Charles, with the VRA. Calling about our invitation to compete in the Six Nations tournament that you're putting on."

The man on the other side asked (in English), "Ok, are you accepting or declining the invitation?".

"We will be participating", replied Louie, "One last question, will this be union or league?"

"Union", replied the man.

"Ok, Have a nice day", Louie said before turning off the phone.

Fuck, now we gotta prepare for union. FUCK, Louie thought to himself. The association had only entered one international Rugby Union tournament before, the ill-fated Rugby World Cup XV, which was inexplicably cancelled part way through. However, that was a few years ago and back then Rugby Union was a little more popular than it was now. Since then, it's waned in popularity due to the rise in popularity of football and the continued dominance of the big five; Hockey, Baseball, Curling, Cycling and Rugby League. Due to this, getting a good roster would be tough and with everybody else working on the nations bid for the Rugby League World Cup, he would have to do the work. He then looked up at the clock and saw that it was getting near noon. So he decided to leave a bit early because, after all, he is the boss.

[Quintessence of Dust]

Posted on the In Brief section of the QBS website.

Liang handed "10" shirt for Six Nations

Toonmar outside half Lian Liang will take over in the troubled outside half position for the opening game of the Six Nations, as the All Greys face world number ones Kelssek. Coach Wolfgang Andrews took the unusual step of announcing only 14 of his starting players two weeks prior to the competition [ICly], naming the starter at 10 only last night.

The position has been historically troublesome for Quintessence of Dust, from Jack Peters' error strewn efforts in Rugby World Cup 11 to Seamus O'Brien and Tommy Donegan playing out of position to try to cover the hole. There was some speculation that Bill Gerhard, who announced a record signing with Somewhereistonia's Karrakiv Wolves, might move into the position, but he remains at outside centre, while Ignace Durand finally gains a starting position with Bernard Franks's move to the wing.

Analysts predict that lineout battles could decide the game, with perhaps the world's two best second row forwards - Guo Shao and Josh Laclan - going up against one another. New hooker Chippinho Delgado has been touted as one of the best deep throwers in All Grey international history, while his New Cleethorpes partner Alfred Ludwig Bathtub moves to the back row to accommodate Clovis Chouinard of Tourseilles. With the retirement of Barry Pullman, Danny Mensen, long touted as Quintessence of Dust's future captain, will finally lead out his country.

Quodite referee Tryggve Stereøtype will officiate at the opening encounter between Somewhereistonia and Sorthern Northland, with reports of both countries' networks allowing an extra hour of game coverage in anticipation of numerous scrum resets bound to occur under his scrupulous, if not "stick-in-his-ass"-uluous, eye.

[Virabia]

Due to the declining popularity of Union and a complex contract negotiation with the VUPU (Virabi Union Players Union) and the VLPUC (Virabi League of Professional Union Clubs) that has rendere most of the talent pool inaccessable Virabia will only send 15 men to six nations). These men are all amateurs but, some of them are good enough to play professionally but, they opt not too. We regret this being the case but thats how it is. Still the team hopes to do well in Somewheristonia. We'll have to see just how well or poorly they perform.

Coach: Tom Christie

1. Tom Christie Captain/Coach (34)
2. Larry Fields (31)
3. Jake Grant (32)
4. Loie Sinclair (44)
5. Chas Palin (31)
6. Grig Lowe (43)
7. Larry Armstrong (38)
8. Frank Calliendo (34)
9. Lars Ullrich (18)
10. Tom Cristie (21)
11. Zach Flannigan (35)
12. Felipe Gomez (24)
13.Paul Rudson (31)
14. Albert Kujol (32)
15. Sammy Samson Vice Captain (33)

RP Permission: Anything goes, even kill them.... Actually I will be killing one of them so why not another!

[Somewhereistonia]

MATCHDAY 1
Somewhereistonia 6-24 Sorthern Northland
Kelssek 6-19 Quintessence of Dust
St Paul's Isle 5-14 Virabia

Tables to be posted with MD2 scores.

[Sorthern Northland]

Sorthern Northland Six Nations2047 Squad

Coach: Henry Keeney

Probable Starting XV

1.Melan Rosewarne, Prop, 24, Huntingsdon Kernowyon
2.Kian Azcárraga, Hooker, 31, Highmark City Irish (Quintessence of Dust)
3.Tenin Hinnock, Prop, 27, Oldinghamensians
4.Gaillard Aoki, Lock, 28, Oldinghamensians
5.Francesco Albertazzi, Lock, 26, Vespucci RUFC
6.John Mitchell, Blindside flanker, 27, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
7.Florinio Baltaian, Opneside flanker, 32, Biscuits (Quintessence of Dust)
8.Łukasz Szczepański, Number 8, 26, Dynamo Rhuritania

9.Adrián Gadeas, Scrum-half, 25, Atlético de Castrograd
10.Donnchadh Ó Cadhla, Fly half/kick taker, 29, Highmark City Irish (Quintessence of Dust)
11.Miquel Beltran, Left wing, 27, Rothsbere RUFC
12.Ludwan Woolcock, Inside centre, 23, Huntingsdon Kernowyon
13.Amhlaoibh Mac Catháin, Outside centre, 27, Beningrad Gaels
14.Yonai Susumu, Right wing, 27, Heathfield Abbey
15.Connor McCash, Full back, 21, Heathfield Abbey

Reserves

16.Jean-Louis Avenier, Hooker, 27, Finistère Rugby
17.Feng Tu, Prop, 24, Madalan Dragons
18.Harry Ainsworth, Prop, 25, North Beningrad RUFC
19.Amaury Ratté, Lock, 21, Racing Métro 1093 Beningrad
20.Gudwal Cobeldick, Lock, 22, Huntingsdon Kernowyon
21.Uwe Hagenlocher, Flanker, 23, Dynamo Rhuritania
22.Aidan O'Lynch, Flanker, 25, Ballynafen RUFC
23.Fabian Chesnut, Number 8, 24, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
24.Alfy Milburn, Scrum half, 25, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
25.Telent Moyle, Left wing, 24, Huntingsdon Kernowyon
26.Darcy Caires, Inside centre, 26, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
27.Longin Wojciechowski, Outside centre, 26, Heathfield Lovisans
28.Finn O'Connla, Right wing, 27, Sparrowbottom RUFC
29.Jeremy Burnell, Fly half, 22, Beningrad RUFC
30.Bazyli Woźniak, Full back, 18, Heathfield Lovisans

Kits

Home/Change



If My Opponent RP's First they may:

Do just about anything.

[Somewhereistonia]

MATCHDAY 2
Quintessence of Dust 26-38 Somewhereistonia
Virabia 6-17 Sorthern Northland
St Paul's Isle 0-44 Kelssek

Pos   Team                        P      W     D      L       F      A     PD     Pts
1	Sorthern Northland	2	2	0	0	41	12	29	4
2	Kelssek	                2	1	0	1	50	19	31	2
3	Quintessence of Dust	2	1	0	1	45	44	1	2
4	Virabia	                2	1	0	1	20	22	-2	2
5	Somewhereistonia	2	1	0	1	44	50	-6	2
6	St Paul's Isle	        2	0	0	2	5	58	-53	0

[Virabia]

It couldn't have been past midnight but, nonetheless it was dark and the street lights didn't do all too much to change that and certainly in the shadows criminals lurked waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting drunkard. Where the light shone, the calibre of the people didn't improve all too much. Lowly hookers would stand on the side walk, waiting for a john to pick them up.

It was into this grim scene that Larry Fields stumbled into. He was drunk and stumbling all over the place. The prime target for any of the thieves or other criminals. For a while he stumbled down the "right path" generally avoiding any contact with the crooks. However, he was drunk and a mistake was bound to be made.

A few metres up the sidewalk a pimp and his hooker were arguing, "Listen, listen, I didn't try to get no money", her pimp, a tall muscular black man, back handed her. It was obvious in his face that he was mad and not one to be double crossed. The hooker on the other hand, had a look of fear on her face. She had a slender build. She wore lingerie, and her face was adorned with make up which did two jobs. One, to make her more "attractive" and the other to cover up various scars and other wounds that come with her "profession".

The pimp yelled, "Oh, come on, with all the tourists in this town for Six Nations you gotta be bringing in some more fucking money. This is the last time, you'll be paying me late." The Pimp raised his gun over the prostitute's head. He didn't have the intention to fire but, his finger slipped and a bullet was buried through her head. There was no doubt that she would be a goner.

The pimp then turned his head and saw Larry stumbling, afraid that Larry would report the crime, he fired a few rounds right into his stomach, before running away from the scene of the crime.

For minutes, Larry laid in the middle of the side walk, slowly bleeding out. Luckily for him the five rounds were were trapped in his fat and it would take him a while to fully bleed out. However, it was the middle of the night and he was laying unconscious in the middle of the seedy part of town so it was unlikely that someone helpful would reach him...

[Somewhereistonia]

Host Announcement: MD3 results will be a few hours late tonight.

[Quintessence of Dust]

Posted on In Brief section of the QBS website, presumably a week apart.

Donegan overturns Kelssek on off day for Danforth

A superb showing from veteran inside half Tommy Donegan and rookie standoff Lian Liang led the All Greys to a confident 19-6 over former World Cup champions Kelssek on the opening day of the Six Nations in Somewhereistonia. Donegan won the Man of the Match award for an efficient showing behind the scrum, setting up the game's only try with a well read quick pass to Ron Diller, who crashed through three Kelssek defenders to score on the wing. Bill Gerhard made the touchline conversion, and kicked three of his four penalty chances.

It was an assured showing from the Quodite kicking machine, whose opposite number struggled. Joel Danforth made just one of five penalty chances as Evan Benacki repeatedly got the better of Stefan Kirsch at the scrum. Sean O'Bryden took over the tee duties late on, connecting on a long range effort to reduce the deficit to 10 points, but fullback Michael Daecher struck back with a skimming drop goal for a final score of 19-6.

New captain Danny Mensen attributed the winning start to domination at the lineout, and sensible ball handling in the second half, when the strong crosswind played havoc with attempts to kick the ball. "We played a pretty sensible game, to our strengths, and it paid off." He praised Donegan's assured passing and running: "He really controlled the game, and it always seemed like he made the right choices."

Eagles take advantage of defensive blunders

A shockingly poor defensive showing from the All Greys saw their good start against Kelssek overturned in a 38-26 loss to Somewhereistonia, hosts of the rugby Six Nations. The Eagles scored six tries as their back three thoroughly outmatched Ron Diller, Bernard Franks, and Michael Daecher. Eagles kicker Stanislavs Sveshnikov had a rotten day from the tee, missing three penalty attempts and two conversions, but kicked wonderfully out of hand to exploit Daecher's obvious unease under the high ball.

A mixture of cross field kicks, high testers and a brilliant grubber set up four of the Eagles tries, for their back three and blindside flanker Povilas Jacoby. Frikis Alksnis powered over from a scrum five, and in perhaps the biggest indignity of the day Sveshnikov, who gave up kicking for goal, found the corner with a precision penalty, setting up Vladimir Kūhna for a catch and drive from the lineout. Dino Krüger and Rene Friedman went over for the All Greys, while Bill Gerhard landed four of five penalties.

[Somewhereistonia]

MATCHDAY 3
Somewhereistonia 20-13 Virabia
Quintessence of Dust 39-0 St Paul's Isle
Sorthern Northland 43-20 Kelssek

Pos   Team                        P      W     D      L       F      A     PD     Pts
1	Sorthern Northland	3	3	0	0	84	32	52	6
2	Quintessence of Dust	3	2	0	1	84	44      40	4
3	Somewhereistonia	3	2	0	1	64	63	1	4
4	Kelssek	                3	1	0	2	70	62	8 	2
5	Virabia	                3	1	0	2	33	42	-11	2
6	St Paul's Isle	        3	0	0	3	5	97	-92	0

[Somewhereistonia]

MATCHDAY 4
St Paul's Isle 7-42 Somewhereistonia
Kelssek 13-7 Virabia
Sorthern Northland 27-22 Quintessence of Dust

Pos   Team                        P      W     D      L       F      A     PD     Pts
1	Sorthern Northland	4	4	0	0	111	54	57	8
2	Somewhereistonia	4	3	0	1	106	70	36	6
3	Quintessence of Dust	4	2	0	2	106	71      35	4
4	Kelssek	                4	2	0	2	83	69	14 	4
5	Virabia	                4	1	0	3	40	55	-15	2
6	St Paul's Isle	        4	0	0	4	12	139	-127	0

[Quintessence of Dust]

OOC: Unless like four people are about to post...d'you think you could delay scorination until after the weekend? Would give us some more time to RP.

[Somewhereistonia]

OOC: Unless like four people are about to post...d'you think you could delay scorination until after the weekend? Would give us some more time to RP.

OOC: Done. Next matchday should be 3 days from now.

[Somewhereistonia]

MATCHDAY 5
Somewhereistonia 35-44 Kelssek
St Paul's Isle 8-29 Sorthern Northland
Virabia 6-30 Quintessence of Dust

Pos   Team                        P      W     D      L       F      A     PD     Pts
1	Sorthern Northland	5	5	0	0	140	62	78	10
2	Quintessence of Dust	5	3	0	2	136	77      59	6
3	Somewhereistonia	5	3	0	2	141	114	27	6
4	Kelssek	                5	3	0	2	127	104	23 	6
5	Virabia	                5	1	0	4	46	85	-39	2
6	St Paul's Isle	        5	0	0	5	20	168	-148	0

Semi-finals:
Sorthern Northland v Quintessence of Dust
Kelssek v Somewhereistonia

[Sorthern Northland]

blogsnorth.sn
Best in the world... but more unpopular than ever

The defending world champions. The number one ranked team in their sport. Five wins in their last five matches.

Sorthern Northland's rugby union team are perhaps the best Sorthern sport team around at the moment. The failures of the national road cycling team at the Olympics has been well documented recently. The football team, whilst consistently ranked among the top eight or so teams in the world habitually fails to even make the quarter-finals of the World Cup. The rugby league team appears to freeze the moment it walks onto a pitch in a final. The ice hockey team is decent for a nation in which the sport is a niche.

If ever there was a time for Sorthern rugby union to restore itself to the giddy days of the tenth Rugby World Cup - a time when Sorthern Northland's 30-23 to Candelaria And Marquez nearly brought about national mourning - it would appear to be now.

In reality however, such a thing happening couldn't seem further from the truth. Of the matches Sorthern Northland did manage to play at the eventually abandoned 15th Rugby World Cup the majority of Sortherners were seen to openly be supporting the opposing team. A shock defeat to South Norwega was widely celebrated, and the eventual abandonment of the tournament was met with a disparaging disappointment. Largely because it prevented supposedly more deserving champions from taking Sorthern Northland's place on the throne.

Whilst still considered internationally a big enough union nation to be invited to the Six Nations event in Somewhereistonia the tournament has gone largely unnoticed in Sorthern Northland. Each of the Sorthern wins from their five games thus far largely unmentioned on television news programmes, and only being mentioned in newspapers when a bit of space at the edge of the page needs filling.

The semi-final though appears to have piqued the interest of Sortherners. Revenge has quietly been spoken of, ghosts laid to rest mentioned. Foes finally getting their comeuppance. The foes though are not the other teams, but the Sorthern team themselves. The opponents hailed as the gallant grey suited knights coming to fend off the hordes of evil that is Sorthern rugby union?

None other than Quintessence of Dust, the beaten finalists of Rugby World Cup 13 that Sortherners feel so guilty of having denied a deserved World Cup. A Six Nations semi-final victory may not make up for a World Cup final defeat, but for many a Sortherner, an All Grey victory tonight would be a just result, no matter how deserving of victory either teams performance is.

[Somewhereistonia]

Semi-finals:
Sorthern Northland 6-34 Quintessence of Dust
Kelssek 34-37 Somewhereistonia


So, the final:

Quintessence of Dust v Somewhereistonia


Sorthern Northland's fans will be happy!

[Quintessence of Dust]

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
"Increasingly difficult to tell who is more guilty about winning" - Andrews

Coach Wolfgang Andrews last night admitted that Quintessence of Dust's huge win over Sorthern Northland in the semifinals of the Six Nations competition in Somewhereistonia had come with an "aura of guilt", given the comparatively slight attention being paid to the competition by Quodite media, in contrast to the ongoing Olympics in Outanabout, Kelssek. He also acknowledged similar sentiments from the Sorthern camp after their victory in the final of Rugby World Cup 14 - leading to confusion over "whose turn it is to be guilty about winning this time".

The match - in which the All Grey defence finally stepped up, conceding no tries and allowing only two penalties - went sharply downhill for the world champions in the second half after being a relatively close 13-3 at half time, through a Bernard Franks try and 5 points off Bill Gerhard's boot. But the arrival of Jack Peters at stand off to replace Lian Liang, who had twice punted straight into touch in the first forty and missed a tackle to almost set up a breakaway try, heralded a change in the weather. His cross field kicking played havoc with the Sorthern defence, and Gerhard, Michel Daecher and Ron Diller all crossed for scores. Gerhard kicked 9 points for 19 on the day.

But the win appeared to give little joy to the All Greys. "We wanted so badly to win the Rugby World Cup [14]," said captain Danny Mensen. "But this time, the fans back home haven't really got behind this tournament in the way we'd wanted. So we almost feel like we've robbed the Sortherners their place in the final. It's all getting a bit much." He then broke down in tears, before passing the Empathy Ball on to the next person in the pitch wide Sharing Circle formed by players and staff of both teams to discuss the day's "Emotion Topic: How does this make you feel?"

After his assured display, it is not clear whether Rogers will start against Somewhereistonia, who eased past Kelssek to give themselves a shot at winning their own title, or whether Liang, who performed creditably through the first three group stage games before suffering a loss of form, will retain the number 10 shirt. Hooker Chipinho Delgado also needs to be cleared after receiving a cut that has almost closed up his left eye.

Despite the controvery over who deserved to win, Andrews remained forthright about his tactics for the final. "This time, no messing around. The moment we take the lead, we're kicking everything into touch," he confirmed, as he covered how the All Greys would deal with the quick Eagles backs. "Also we will sit on them," he said.

[Somewhereistonia]

Final
Quintessence of Dust 30-10 Somewhereistonia

So, the champions of the 6 Nations' Invitational are:

Quintessence of Dust