Chartistani Hot League - Chart Year 64, Season 4
Notes:
- Sweet Melody, Save Your Tears, Young Life Crisis and La Nota were demoted from the Hot League last season. They were replaced by As It Was, Bad Habit, Sunroof and I'm Good (Blue).
First Half ResultsHot League Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Big Energy 50 30 8 12 87 51 +36 98 - Top Half
2 I Hope 50 28 9 13 82 55 +27 93
3 Laugh Now Cry Later 50 26 13 11 93 59 +34 91
4 Vida de Rico 50 26 13 11 85 57 +28 91
5 U 2 Luv 50 25 15 10 87 56 +31 90
6 About Damn Time 50 25 15 10 91 61 +30 90
7 3 Headed Goat 50 26 11 13 81 55 +26 89
8 Got What I Got 50 25 13 12 75 59 +16 88
9 Lemonade 50 24 15 11 97 67 +30 87
10 Levitating 50 24 14 12 90 63 +27 86
11 Hole In The Bottle 50 24 14 12 83 59 +24 86
12 Bad Habit 50 26 8 16 73 61 +12 86
13 Step And A Step 50 24 13 13 72 47 +25 85
14 Blinding Lights 50 25 9 16 89 69 +20 84
15 Tattoo 50 22 16 12 87 58 +29 82
16 Don't Touch Me 50 23 13 14 71 56 +15 82
17 Ay, Dios Mio! 50 23 10 17 82 54 +28 79
18 I Can't Stop Me 50 22 13 15 73 75 −2 79
19 Cold Heart 50 21 14 15 73 62 +11 77
20 Sunroof 50 21 13 16 75 60 +15 76
21 Champagne Night 50 21 12 17 82 74 +8 75
22 Angst 50 20 14 16 77 62 +15 74
23 Rockstar 50 21 11 18 78 76 +2 74
24 Mood 50 20 13 17 73 72 +1 73
25 Dynamite 50 20 12 18 70 77 −7 72
26 Forever After All 50 18 17 15 83 77 +6 71
27 Wep 50 19 12 19 69 68 +1 69
28 Mad At Disney 50 18 15 17 63 64 −1 69
29 Jimmy Cooks 50 18 15 17 69 71 −2 69
30 abcdefu 50 19 12 19 71 77 −6 69 - Bottom Half
31 Positions 50 17 16 17 64 64 0 67
32 Agua 50 19 10 21 67 70 −3 67
33 Driver's License 50 16 18 16 57 57 0 66
34 Excitement! 50 19 9 22 64 66 −2 66
35 I'm Good (Blue) 50 18 12 20 68 73 −5 66
36 Really Love 50 18 9 23 64 80 −16 63
37 Bloody Valentine 50 19 5 26 70 78 −8 62
38 New Boot Goofin 50 18 8 24 73 83 −10 62
39 Birthplace 50 15 17 18 52 65 −13 62
40 H or H 50 15 16 19 70 67 +3 61
41 Love Not War 50 16 13 21 60 68 −8 61
42 Running Up That Hill 50 14 19 17 58 77 −19 61
43 Level of Concern 50 16 12 22 59 70 −11 60
44 Enemy 50 14 14 22 49 69 −20 56
45 As It Was 50 11 20 19 61 73 −12 53
46 Mi Nina 50 12 17 21 69 89 −20 53
47 La Jeepeta 50 13 14 23 61 83 −22 53
48 Kaikai Titan 50 15 8 27 53 75 −22 53
49 Amor Ou O Litrao 50 15 8 27 59 89 −30 53
50 Head & Heart 50 13 12 25 60 89 −29 51
51 Dry Flower 50 11 17 22 60 84 −24 50
52 Jeans 50 13 9 28 57 84 −27 48
53 Neko 50 9 17 24 55 81 −26 44
54 Holy 50 8 19 23 53 74 −21 43
55 Recariei 50 11 9 30 67 95 −28 42
56 Fake Woke 50 12 6 32 57 90 −33 42
57 My Head 50 7 19 24 55 85 −30 40
58 Whoopty 50 8 13 29 58 101 −43 37
Defending champions Laugh Now Cry Later have seemingly once again found their rhythm heading into the second half of the campaign. A "Damn baby" look at the sheer fact that they got a bye to the 2nd qualifying round was enough to put them 3rd after the 50 game slog, only behind I Hope and First Half winners Big Energy. Big Energy were a team that last season were good enough for middle of the Top Half road then came alive in the 2nd Half and finished 7th. Vida de Rico also picked up where they left off and finished in 4th for the half, with U 2 Luv only getting stronger as they finish right behind the house builders. Last season's runners-up About Damn Time, 3 Headed Goat, A Got What I Got side rebounding from a 15th place 2nd half finish, Challengers Cup lovers Lemonade and Levitating rounded off the top 10 for the First Half.
The top team out of the 4 newcomers was Bad Habit, who finished 12th and comfortably made it into the Top Half with room to spare and a tongue to bite with 86 points. The nearest newcomer to them, Sunroof, also made it into the Top Half but in 20th and with worries on the back of their minds. The other 2 newcomers, the team to beat As It Was and the recipients of the "I'm Owned by That Guy who Was Once Popular 5 Years Ago" award I'm Good (Blue), finished in the Bottom Half 45th and 35th respectively. A far cry from all 4 newcomers last season finishing in the Top Half (And About Damn Time one thicc:30 away from the title), but this is nothing more than the mean.
abcdefu told Mad at Disney and Jimmy Cooks to screw their mothers after failing to respond in earnest to both teams getting 3 points on the final day, as 53rd ranked Jeans pulled them into hell with a 1-0 loss and another trip to the Bottom Half. Agua responded to their 14th place finish last term with concern, from none other than Level of Concern, as they also dropped into the Bottom Half with a 1-0 loss. Running Up That Hill, Driver's License, Excitement! and H or H all slipped from top 29 to bottom 29 as well, but of course, most worry came over to the Bottom 4.
As is a fixture in the Hot League, Fake Woke ended the First Half in the bottom 4 positions, which, according to the Scripture of the Hot League, automatically means they finish like 15th in the Bottom Half. Recariei hasn't been in this position before, but historically they have always turned things up in the 2nd Half and stay alive. Whoopty though? That's another story. Whoopty haven't been in this sort of scenario before, they finished 14th in the Bottom Half and now they were somehow bottom like blue cheese. My Head
, however, isn't phased. You know what happens when teams with emojis in their name aren't phased, right?
2nd HalfTop HalfTop Half Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Vida de Rico 28 16 6 6 49 34 +15 54 - IFCF Champions League
2 Mood 28 15 7 6 42 28 +14 52 - IFCF Challengers Cup
3 Laugh Now Cry Later 28 14 7 7 43 30 +13 49 - IFCF Challengers Cup
4 3 Headed Goat 28 13 9 6 52 37 +15 48 - IFCF Challengers Cup
5 I Hope 28 12 11 5 40 27 +13 47
6 Don't Touch Me 28 13 8 7 45 33 +12 47
7 Hole In The Bottle 28 12 8 8 45 35 +10 44
8 Ay, Dios Mio! 28 12 7 9 42 35 +7 43
9 Got What I Got 28 11 8 9 34 27 +7 41
10 Champagne Night 28 11 8 9 42 43 −1 41
11 Bad Habit 28 13 2 13 33 36 −3 41
12 I Can't Stop Me 28 10 9 9 36 38 −2 39
13 U 2 Luv 28 10 7 11 35 32 +3 37
14 Levitating 28 10 7 11 41 41 0 37
15 Big Energy 28 9 10 9 36 40 −4 37
16 Step And A Step 28 7 14 7 29 29 0 35
17 Forever After All 28 9 8 11 30 37 −7 35
18 Tattoo 28 7 12 9 31 36 −5 33
19 About Damn Time 28 6 14 8 39 36 +3 32
20 Lemonade 28 8 8 12 41 39 +2 32
21 Cold Heart 28 7 11 10 37 41 −4 32
22 Blinding Lights 28 9 5 14 36 53 −17 32
23 Sunroof 28 7 10 11 39 38 +1 31
24 Jimmy Cooks 28 7 10 11 38 46 −8 31
25 Dynamite 28 8 6 14 38 49 −11 30
26 Wep 28 7 9 12 29 42 −13 30
27 Rockstar 28 5 14 9 38 46 −8 29
28 Angst 28 6 9 13 30 47 −17 27
29 Mad At Disney 28 6 8 14 30 45 −15 26
An unexpected title race between the house builders and the game of love players came all the way down to the final day. With defending champs Laugh Now Cry Later all but confirmed for Challengers Cup football, both teams traveled away, with Mood meeting up with former kingpins DTM (Who could still make the IFCF Challengers Cup should results go the right way) and VDR facing a Tattoo team with nothing to do. Unless they drop points in Gaon, Mood would become champions of Chartistan. If otherwise, and especially with a loss, Vida de Rico would become champions.
Mood proceeded to give up the title with a 3-1 loss to Don't Touch Me. All Vida de Rico needed was a dos a cero against Tattoo to clinch the title, bragging rights, and qualification to the IFCF Champions League.
DTM didn't end up clinching IFCF football after all. The 2 teams above them, 3 Headed Goat and I Hope, both drew 1-1 at home to Big Energy and Ay, Dios Mio! respectively. 3 Headed Goat had one more point to their name and once again made the Challengers Cup, with I Hope once again proving to be a class outfit with a 5th place finish. While the once dominant DTM gained a bit of their glory days back in 6th, Hole In The Bottle, Ay, Dios Mio!, Got What I Got and Champagne Night rounded off the top 10. Rockstar's dominance more and more seems like a thing of the past. 27th place does that to you.
Bottom HalfBottom Half Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Driver's License 28 17 4 7 49 26 +23 55
2 Excitement! 28 16 3 9 45 35 +10 51
3 Agua 28 14 8 6 47 32 +15 50
4 H or H 28 14 6 8 48 34 +14 48
5 Amor Ou O Litrao 28 14 5 9 42 43 −1 47
6 Bloody Valentine 28 13 7 8 47 36 +11 46
7 My Head 28 12 10 6 43 33 +10 46
8 Level of Concern 28 13 6 9 41 35 +6 45
9 Really Love 28 13 5 10 41 39 +2 44
10 Whoopty 28 11 10 7 42 33 +9 43
11 Running Up That Hill 28 11 9 8 48 41 +7 42
12 I'm Good (Blue) 28 12 6 10 40 34 +6 42
13 Holy 28 11 7 10 36 37 −1 40
14 Kaikai Titan 28 10 9 9 42 42 0 39
15 Fake Woke 28 11 5 12 41 32 +9 38
16 Positions 28 10 7 11 38 34 +4 37
17 Dry Flower 28 9 10 9 41 39 +2 37
18 Head & Heart 28 10 7 11 26 39 −13 37
19 abcdefu 28 10 5 13 39 42 −3 35
20 As It Was 28 10 4 14 44 44 0 34
21 Mi Nina 28 10 4 14 36 42 −6 34
22 Enemy 28 9 6 13 35 43 −8 33
23 Neko 28 9 5 14 31 47 −16 32
24 Love Not War 28 7 8 13 30 40 −10 29
25 Birthplace 28 7 7 14 34 40 −6 28
26 Jeans 28 7 7 14 27 41 −14 28 - Demoted
27 Recariei 28 7 7 14 31 47 −16 28 - Demoted
28 New Boot Goofin 28 7 7 14 32 49 −17 28 - Demoted
29 La Jeepeta 28 7 6 15 28 45 −17 27 - Demoted
...What did I tell you about Fake Woke finishing 15th?
Before we get to the hell that was this year's relegation fight, let's talk about As It Was and I'm Good (Blue). IGB found life in the bottom half to be easy as they finished 12th, but As It Was had more trouble than expected. Newly added team, tons of promise to see DTM and Rockstar off, and, now they're stuck in perennial relegation contention. Even THEY know it's not the same, that's how bad it was. Come back when you finish in 7th like My Head
did.
Okay, now let's talk about the relegation scrapheap. Heading into the final day, 6 teams were in the fight for survival, with only 2 of them being allowed to go up: Birthplace, Jeans, La Jeepeta, Love Not War, Recariei and New Boot Goofin. Recariei and NBG were 3 points behind Birthplace and Jeans for safety, so they had to move hell and high water to survive. Birthplace and Jeans were 3 points above Recariei and NBG so unless they screw up badly they were safe. Stuck in the middle were La Jeepeta and Love Not War, with Jeepeta 1 point below the drop and LNW 2 points behind, survival was doable but they had get everything right to do so. So, how did the final day go?
Final Day - Relegation Battle Teams
Birthplace 1–2 Recariei
Excitement! 1–2 New Boot Goofin
La Jeepeta 0–3 Love Not War
Jeans 0–2 Amor Ou O Litrao
Of course La Jeepeta had to play Love Not War for survival. With a 3-0 loss at home, the most memed team in Chartistan and the "Team That Will Never Die" finally, mercifully, died. Despite beating Excitement!, however, goal difference wasn't enough to bring New Boot Goofin' on up. Hell, Birthplace lost to Recariei and guess what? Birthplace stayed up. Oh yeah and Love Not War survived as well. 6 teams separated by, what, 2 points at the end? That's the magic of the Chartistan Hot League.
Hey Fake Woke! Have the "Team That Will Never Die" moniker I stole from La Jeepeta. Thank you!