V Winter Olympic Games - roleplay thread

by **Cafundeu** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:09 pm

ROLEPLAY THREAD

This is the official thread for RPing the V Winter Olympic Games. This is not a sign-up thread or roster thread. There are others for these purposes, and the links for them can be found at the bottom of this post.

The fifth edition of the Winter Olympics are going to be held in São Jorge, Cafundéu, the great Empire known for its high number of costs, which are called "taxes" by most foreign nations. Curiously, São Jorge is a city different from most of the Cafundelense cities. Most people, when thinking about our cities, remember the beautiful beaches of Lasft (well, those are a bit polluted, though) and Porto Lacruz (which are the best ones, clean and perfect)... or maybe the huge commercial centres of Cafundó do Juta (the capital of the country) and Astari (home of many important companies)... or just the style of a city full of skyscrapers everywhere, as happens with the cities previously cited and others like Dunboor, Abadia and Cidade Central.

But São Jorge isn't a city of the size of these others. Less populated, there are still many tall buildings, but no "true skyscrapers" (those who are near the level of the tallest in the world). Tourism isn't big, with the exception of some religious caravans who go to the city to visit some of its important temples and historical-religious museums. Business activity is a good one, as this is the second biggest city of the state of Dunboor, but nothing close to the level that could be expected of a Cafundelense city. The importance of the university in the city is very big, as it is a major source of jobs, and also of opportunities for the citizens.

The climate of São Jorge is also another thing that differentiates the city from most others in Cafundéu. Cold and snowy, opposing to the image of the tropical or, at most, subtropical cities of the other states of the country. But thanks to this climate the city had the conditions to host the Winter Olympics, and now has everything prepared in order to welcome the visitors from many different countries. A huge hotel was prepared for the richest tourists and members of the media... the university infrastructure was made available for trainings and its rooms are for rent for the poorer visitors. And, of course, there are the resorts on the mountain area of the city area, some which will hold events of the Olympics.

You could read about the differences that São Jorge has in relation to the rest of Cafundéu. But one thing won't change from what happens in the rest of the country: the living costs. Since the moment you enter the country area, you'll have to prepare to spend money. From the price of stepping on Cafundéu's soil to the price of crossing a street or asking a question, passing through all the possible taxes that you can imagine for all kinds of activities, until reaching the famous costs' costs (or taxes' taxes). São Jorge can be smaller than the most famous Cafundelense cities, but the nature of its citizens and the authorities is still the same, so prepare your bank account.

Schedule
As already told, the schedule will follow those mysterious maps given to us by people who follow something called "RL calendar". So, it will begin on 12/2/2010 to end on 28/2/2010, with the organizer looking to strictly follow the calendar of the "RL 2010 Winter Olympics", as these strange people say.

Participant Nations:
Akbarabad (AKB)
Balida (BAL)
Bergnovinaia (BER)
Bluth Corporation (BLU)
Braäntiiste (BNT)
Brocken Brackh (BBB)
Burchadinger (BUR)
Cafundéu (CAF)
Candelaria And Marquez (CAM)
Capitalizt SLANI (COM)
Casari (CAS)
Cascatoria (CSC)
Combined Team (ALT)
Cyrelia (CYR)
Daehanjeiguk (HAN)
Delaclava (DEL)
Diatraba (DTB)
Edward City (EDC)
Fotar (FTR)
Fujisawan Territories (FJT)
Golgothastan (POO)
Handicapia (HCP)
Iglesian Archipelago (IGL)
Jalanat (JNT)
Jasĭyun (JSY)
Kelssek (KSK)
Kosovoe (KOS)
Krytenia (KRY)
Landau Institute (LID)
Larsistan (LRS)
Lithatrius (LIT)
Logria (LOG)
Muskeegan (MUS)
Newmanistan (NEW)
New Rockport (NRO)
Omigodtheykilledkenny (OMG)
Orange Faiths (OFA)
Orbital Dusk (ORD)
Qazox (QZX)
Quintessence of Dust (QOD)
Ruccola (RUC)
Sargossa (SRG)
Sarzonia (SRZ)
Secristan (SEC)
Seven Castles (SCS)
Shavelle (SHA)
Shivat (SHV)
Sibirsky (SIB)
Sorthern Northland (SNO)
Sportgirls (SPG)
Taeshan (TAE)
Tentalon (TNT)
The Archregimancy (ARC)
The Babbage Islands (TBI)
The Walden Estates (WAE)
The Weegies (WEE)
Unified Beretania (UBT)
Valanora (VAL)
Vephrall (VPH)
Virabia (VRB)
Xanonia (XAN)
Zwangzug (ZWZ)

Questions
Please do not use this thread for questions about scorination or anything else. For these, use the Nationstates Olympic Games Discussion thread, which link can be found below.

Important links:
Sign-up thread of the V Winter Olympic Games
Rosters thread of the V Winter Olympic Games
NationStates Olympic Games Discussion Thread
Olympic Games articles in NSWiki

by **Virabia** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:04 pm

The Vonghurst Star
Virabian Olympic Team arrives in Sao Jorge

SAO JORGE - At 7:00 this morning most of the Virabian delegation touched down at Sao Jorge Airport, and many have immediately began getting a feel for the city. After a quick tour of the city en route to the Olympic Village most athletes began hitting the slopes/ice/track or whatever to get a feel for the local terrain. Which Skier Mark Wallace described as ''icy and slick". A sharp contrast to the skiing in his native Mountingshire which is usually all powder. Wallace also said that despite it's icyness it's not all that bad. ''it's slick, and skiable, and it's something I can win on''.

However the snow's not the only thing the Athletes are complaining about. It is a concern of the entire delegation that they have to pay to do anything. Even though they are members of the Olympic squad. So far they have paid, but said that starting tomorrow they will refuse. With VOHC (Virabian Olympic High Council) spokesperson Shelly Williams said, "Both the country and the athletes will be bankrupt by the end of the weekend". As of yet no Cafundese response has been issued to this matter. The fear is both repercussions on the Olympic team and perhaps on the Football Squad that might be drawn into Cafundeu for their upcoming Baptisim of Fire competition. We'll keep you posted.

by **Balida** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:34 pm

The Balida Star
Bringing You News That Matters Most

Olympic Games Soon To Begin!
Balida has joined the Olympic games this year for the V Winter Olympic Games. Many of the sports aren't new to Balida, as small competitions take place normally and athletes are never in short demand in Balida.

Men’s Super Combined Skiing athlete, Javier Swider, is a Mil Region native. He is one of the top athlete to compete for Balida and has been skiing all his life. He took up competitive skiing a few years ago and hopes to make his country proud this year.

Balida's curling team should also be mentioned. The team is at the top of their game and are also from the Mil Regions. In the high mountains of Mil, winter games thrive and there is a league dedicated to just curling. John Averson, Price Bellock, Viktor Deneilkov, and Clayton Santill are by far the best curlers in Balida and could be the athletes with the best chance of bringing home a medal.

When it comes to Short Track speed skating, Balida has some top athletes as well. Omer Demling will dominate at the Men’s 500 m, Alex Jose will command the track for the Men’s 1.5 km, and a team of Sam Austin, Max Poucher, Ronnie Tony, and Hector Abraham have a good chance of bring home a medal for the Men’s 5 km Relay.

With all said, Balida is hopeful to bring home some medals their first year. While some athletes are new to the sports they are entered in, others are almost masters at them. We wish them all good luck and the nation is behind them all the way.

Balida's Omer Demling practicing for the Men's 500 meter Short Track.

by **Zwangzug** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:41 pm

Results from the First Possibly-Repetitive Ravendahl Broomball Open

Background information: Unknown for anything else, the city of Ravendahl hosted an invitational broomball tournament for some time. Last...the edition that would have been the most recent was cancelled after the statewide sports administration disintegrated, but enough of the players got nostalgic that they decided to organize the tournament themselves. Extending invitations to all and sundry up until a suitable power of two, they found themselves swamped with entries. This format may or may not repeat, hence the fact that the repetition is merely "possible". Rumors that the format is dependent on a useful choice of acronym have not been officially denied.

The other big change was that there were no divisional breakdowns, on account of them being "too much work". Overall, men outnumbered women significantly if not overwhelmingly among rosters.

Round One

The first match saw Broom Chicka Broom and Da Doors play to a scoreless draw. After a quick realization that there were a lot more teams who needed the ice, both teams agreed that penalty shootouts would be the tournament's official tiebreaker. Broom Chicka Broom advanced, with Scott Halliman the only goalscorer; Da Doors could comfort themselves with the thought that this time around, nobody would need crossbows.

Other games had plenty of goals, though, including some in the ever-popular Last Blast. The Green People Eaters even scored two at the end, though it wasn't enough to stop them from losing 3-2 to Zodiak.

There were several other shootouts, the longest-running of which saw Wheelism defeat Psych In. In a showdown of teams that had the (probably dis, in both cases) honor of representing their cities, Ice Scrapers defeated Theodicers. Upset of the round went to The Hornblowers, dismissed as coming from too far south to be much good. Instead, they toppled Board Daze 3-0; Board Daze blamed the roughshod facilities for interfering with their passing game plan.

Finally, spare a thought for those teams who, instead of holding out hope for victory, simply focused their efforts on picking names so ridiculous nobody would be proud of beating them. Sure enough, My Wife and A Dead Horse were duly eliminated; Around the Bush won, however, against Snow Cylinders.

There were no reported broken bones.

Round Two

It snowed during this round of competition, but most teams didn't seem to be too adversely affected. The most notable exception to this was Vroom Ballers, who were falling this way and that during their 2-0 defeat to Insipid Dimwits. It would have been 2-1, except for the rule that you can't kick the ball into the goal. Even if you're lying on the ice.

Other teams from the north also did well this round; the Cham Peons (they're from Cham...it's in Tulf...yeah) defeated Cool Beanies, Bingness' Thünderkinder defeated Pie on the Ice, and The Quantum Cloud, from Ildynia, might have lost. Except they didn't.

It was, alas, the end of the line for Around the Bush, beaten by Whether Station. Also thanked for coming (by which is meant, told to get out and let the other teams squeeze a little less tightly without the use of "bleep"...broomball players aren't the kindest around) were The Spear Its, from Tisawa (one of the Zebra Isles). Non-contiguous Zwangzug remained represented by all-out-defensivists Efdibindi, of the Picksall Islands.

There were no confirmed broken bones.

Round Three

Belated credit is probably due to whoever it was that suggested that the first real wave of Bigtopian/Lilliputian/what have you refugees be resettled somewhere ridiculously cold. As long as you have so much culture shock, why not go all the way?

So it was that the city of Shorn, up north in Dancirk, became host to such a diverse population. And apparently even gridiron football got too tame for some of them, leading to the rise of the Phightin' Phalanges broomball team. Who just got eliminated by the Myst Sticks.

Oh well.

Center Post claim that there are two styles of defense, neither of which work, so they just don't bother. They defeated More Morons, though seem surprised at their own success (or maybe are just frustrated they haven't gotten to attack in a Last Blast yet).

The Quantum Cloud finally did lose, although if Tyler Michaux hadn't been kneeling for his goal who knows what might have happened? Broom Chicka Broom were convincingly swept aside by The Duofied Team, and The Hornblowers were also eliminated at the hands of The Duck Phones.

There was no...

Alright, there might have been one broken bone. But it was his toe, okay? You don't go for an official x-ray if it's just somebody's toe!

Bunch of pansies.

Round Four

So you know how we said there were a lot of good teams from the north?

Yeah, about that.

Can't really get around the backstory dump, so I'll make it brief...one of the larger "countries" to exist before the establishment of the modern Zwangzugi state was Jorvelk, up sort of where Yovell is and probably going into other districts. At any rate, some of its inhabitants were the most teed-off about the encroachment of said modern state, left Jorvelk, and tried to find somewhere that Zwangzug wouldn't bother annexing. Because another slightly teed-off, ethnically conscious group is exactly what Namiri needs...

Long story short, it didn't work, but there's still a Jorvelki community of some sort. Mixed in with the locals, of course, and now a new generation is old enough to compete in this sporting stuff. Apparently the criteria for inclusion in the "Jorvelki Exiles" wasn't that stringent; or, more likely, people realized how good a midfielder the annoyingly-competent ski jumper Viroopa Helgasdottir had the potential to be. Not big on diacritics, your Jorvelki. Anyhow, it doesn't really matters, since they finally got eliminated thanks to the Narrow Roadgoers. Took them long enough.

Other news...Center Post finally got their last blast, and Jake Kinhan's goal wasn't enough as they crashed out to the Friday Night Mites. And we're really getting down to the end of it now, what with the Mild Blizzards' exit. Including, perhaps unsurprisingly, several holdovers from the Wild Blizzards (the open division's champion last time around), the Blizzards and their defeat say something memorable and pithy about time dilation but I don't know what it is.

Round Five

Ooh, speaking of the old divisions, the last all-female team went out at this stage. That'd be mpN, eliminated by the Insipid Dimwits. Who could, scarily enough, go all the way at this rate. Probably not what we want to see.

Oh, and what about Myst Sticks versus The Duofied Team? The game had a little bit of everything, where by "everything" I mean "lots of goals", and what about a Last Blast that actually meant something? Apparently Myst Sticks didn't realize that, with a one-goal lead, defense is really important (to be fair, both teams had been failing to realize this for the bulk of the game), and duly conceded a last-minute goal to Henry Slater. Come the shootout, though, neither team could bring themselves to score until Suzie Tam finally sent The Duofied Team through to...can we keep calling it round six?

Hey, guys, we should probably find out whether we wanna call it round six.

Dude, it doesn't even matter, we're in charge!

Heck, yeah, you're right. Okay, bring on round six! Yeah!

Round Six

At this point we should probably just report all the games, so okay; The Duck Phones beat Efdibindi 2-1, Insipid Dimwits beat The Interrobangs 3-0, Moondry beat The Duofied Team 3-2, and Maskerade beat Tappers United 1-0. Uh, that goal was scored by Amy Durret. Okay, guys, we're moving on to round seven, right?

Sorry, they want me to do a backstory dump too.

Deep breath now...In the early eighties, the Liberal Conservatives seemed to be taking control of the Parliament. This was really a false dawn, and years of fragmentation followed, but for a brief time, they actually did have some power. One of the first things they did was to institute a "sunshine policy" for more transparency in government, giving more citizens more access to state documents. This was indeed popular and successful...in fact, too successful for the Liberal Conservatives. Somebody got wise of a heavily censored document about "tappers", and, after much wild speculation, one of the representatives sheepishly admitted to beginning a project to subsidize dance troupes.

Well, that was mocked as a waste of taxpayer money, government interference with the arts, etcetera etcetera, and the sunshine project didn't last too much longer. So now we have Tappers United, who are from Zwischen, and apparently making some sort of joke about the government. Right? What else am I supposed to say? Erik Vanderveer would probably be a good ice hockey player if he could skate, but he can't, so...?

Kay, round seven now.

Round Seven

A convincing 4-1 victory for The Duck Phones gave them their place in the final, and Moondry's goal (through Brian Jasper) only came in the Last Blast. And the Insipid Dimwits did go all the way to the final. Well, technically, most teams made it to the site of the final, plus or minus. Ravendahl isn't that big. Point is, though, they defeated Maskerade 2-1. Not that anyone really wanted Maskerade to win it all, of course. I mean, being forced to wear protective gear is one thing. But bragging about it and all? With less stringent rules this time around? Really?

Those of you who wish to watch the final replay, and perhaps Sorthern Northlanders, should avert your eyes about now...

Silly forum code not letting me bold the spoiler title.

Perhaps more importantly, though, the tournament proved that a group of generally-sane Zwangzugian broomballers can in fact be trusted to organize a large winter sporting endeavor. And in this day and age, that can only mean one thing...

by **Qazox** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 10:02 pm

As one of the 4 nations to participate in every Winter Olympics, Qazox is sending a decent delegation to São Jorge, Cafundéu, of 119 athletes in 37 events.

Returning for the Olymics are 10 medalists from the Alavaria, Kelssek games of 4 years ago including Erica Deneen, who is trying once again to become the first Qazoxian athlete to win 2 medals in 2 disciplines.

Qazoxian favorites to win medals are:

Women's 500m (Long track)- Tiffary Stoer
Men's 1000m (ShortTrack)- Mike Quinlan
Women's Skeleton- Paulette Higgins
Women's Curling
Men's Ice Hockey
Men’s Alpine Combined- Frank W. Jones
Women’s Slalom- Erica Deneen.

The Flag Bearer for Qazox will be Erica Deneen, marking the 2nd consecutive Winter Olympics that a woman has been the flag-bearer.

by **Cafundeu** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 11:50 am

After hearing some doubts and complaints about our living costs, also known as Cafundelense taxes, we of the Ministry of Finances wrote some information about them to anyone interested. As we wrote this quickly, we may have overlooked some things, and many other information isn't in this guide, but this is a good start for anyone willing to know more about the costs which are charged here for any person. Well, I guess it is time for us to pay for writing this.

SMALL, NOT DETAILED, OFFICIAL, SLIGHTLY CORRECT BUT INFORMATIVE GUIDE ON CAFUNDELENSE COSTS/TAXES
by Counsellor-Minister of Finances Devir Malbrando

This is a serious guide of how to handle the living costs in Cafundéu. Read carefully all the points here, and please pay the cost of reading this and of receiving one of those. Oh, and of course the costs for these costs.

- As you already know, living costs in Cafundéu involve practically anything. We just don't charge costs for things that we can't really keep track of: for example, how many times you go to the bathroom at your home (if you are in a hotel or public building, though, we can keep track of this and will charge costs); about particular things you do in private that don't involve public objects or resources (while cooking at home, you may have to pay about the amount of water used, but not of adding an extra slice of cheese in your sandwich, since we can't keep track of this); and, in rare cases, when the action which would involve costs ends being so beneficial for Cafundéu as a whole that the government can let it go.

- All the living costs mentioned here are more commonly called "taxes" in most foreign nations. Some of them are really taxes, yes, as they would involve the using of public resources or public buildings/government officials/etc. But the government isn't the only one who can charge people for their actions. Inside a private building, for example, the owners of the building can demand for their visitors to pay. Or, if you are talking to your wife, she can have a price to answer questions or to do other things - people can receive money for living costs too.

- We keep track of the actions that involve a cost done by any person. In the case of the Cafundelenses, their identity card will store the costs they paid and the ones they didn't. Cameras will register most things, while others will be registered when the person is asked to show his/her identity card. For foreigners, the same thing happens. As soon as he/she enters the country, will receive a temporary card to register the costs.

- Those who pay all their taxes/costs are generally more trusted by the Cafundelenses. But those who don't, the first consequence will be the distrust. For any action that demands the showing of the identity card (as eating in a restaurant, entering in a hotel, going shopping, taking a bus, most related with private companies or services), the card will reveal that the person is in debt. By discovering this, most companies and service providers simply ask the debtors to leave, refusing to receive them. For other things, like crossing the street or asking questions to a policeman, there isn't a way for them to know the person is a debtor, so they'll still be able to do those things. But at the same time, the debt will keep increasing when they do this, as the cameras are registering.

- Now to other consequences of the debt: if the person owes money to a private services provider (water or energy distributor, restaurant, shop, a specific person), the ones willing to receive the money hire a special lawyer, who works only with these debt cases, which usually involves a lot of extra costs. For some time, it will seem that the debt has been forgotten, but suddenly the debtor will discover he is being sued, and that the money asked is much more than the initial debt. As the Cafundelense government usually works in favour of the companies, these legal actions mostly end with justice action to force the debtor to pay his debts.

- If the debt involves taxes, with this word meaning only the public costs (walking the streets, entering the country, travelling), the action against the debtor isn't so cruel. The government has tax collectors who, approximately one week after the deadline of the tax expires, visit the debtor. Note that, as foreigners have to give much more information of where they are staying and what they are going to do in the country, they are easier to find. In this visit, the tax collector will attempt to negotiate the debt, possibly dividing the payment in months or by asking goods or services in exchange. When they announce the debt, the debtor will surely notice that it is much higher than the initial debt. This is not because the tax collectors are willing to explore you, but actually because the debt is really much higher at that point, thanks to the high interest rates. If negotiation doesn't happens, he/she simply leaves, and the debt is usually treated like if it was a delayed payment of any bill. The tax collector returns later, when the debt is even higher, willing to negotiate again. After three missed negotiations, the government does the same of the private services: hires a lawyer and sues the debtor.

- In both cases, when the Cafundelense judges order the debtors to pay, with the use of personal proprierties if necessary, this ends being the last chapter. But foreigners present a new challenge for Cafundelense authorities: it is more difficult to take their hands in the money from abroad, as they need many permissions. So, they are allowed to forbid the foreigners to leave the country until the situation is solved. Cases in which the debtors are sent to prison are extremely rare, only when it becomes clear that they are attempting to flee. In case the foreign debtors end escaping Cafundéu, an arrest order is immediately approved, and the debtors won't be able to return to Cafundéu anymore without being arrested, the same happening in countries which have diplomatic deals with the country involving deporting criminals. For the population, debtors are seen as criminals, even if the government only considers them criminals if the debt reaches a high level, or when they are being sued.

- Two cases involving foreign celebrities: in World Cup 42, players of the Sorthern Northland National Team were arrested prior to a game for not paying their debts. Lately it was discovered it was a plan to weaken the team as the game was against Cafundéu, as they hadn't received the visit of tax collectors. Lately, as they continued refusing to pay, they were under serious risks of actually going to prison, and managed a deal with Cafundéu, putting all their debts in the name of one person, the old Feng Shui. Lately, another deal was made, dividing the payment and finally taking Feng Shui out of the most wanted list. Another case involves Emperor Boston, who was followed all around the world after wanting to escape his debts, until he was forced to negotiate with the tax collectors, paying his debts. For sports people, it becomes very difficult to participate in competitions being a debtor, as many countries have diplomatic deals with Cafundéu, and the tax collectors are allowed to travel anywhere in order to attempt negotiations. And, more important, the deal keeps increasing due to the interest rates, which makes more and more tax collectors attempting deals or suing the debtor.

- So, how to deal with the taxes? Paying. But it is known that many foreigners don't have enough money to handle all the Cafundelense costs. Examples include the WGPC teams who went into bankruptcy after a long stay in Cafundéu, or the Sorthern Northland team cited earlier. The most usual solution found by these people is the support of their government, which can easily manage deals with the Cafundelense, paying the taxes of all its citizens with money or resources. Of course, if another country takes the responsibility of paying and doesn't pay, it will have a debt with Cafundéu.

- The other solution involves sponsorship. It is very easy to find sponsors in Cafundéu if you are involved in sports, as many Cafundelense companies love to have their names associated with huge competitions. Some teams find sponsors already in their home country, or from big companies as Samseong or Banco Econômico. A good sponsorship deal can be enough to pay the country taxes. Unfortunately there are some nations that don't allow its citizens to sign up sponsorship deals.

by **Virabia** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 6:35 pm

Upon reading the Cafundese notice about the taxes Olympic Program Field Manager Jimmi Lenon cant help himself but to frown. It said that they can be refused exit from the country, and if they try to escape they'd be arrested. This troubled him. He'd have to talk to someone about this. Some-one high up. He gets up from his chair and heads toward his Portable Satellite Phone and dials a number.

"Hello Jack,'' says Lenon over the phone, ''we have a situation''

''What?'' Jack says in curiosity.

Lenon sighs, ''It's about the fees, apparently if we dont pay them, they can refuse us the right to leave, and even imprison us. Heck they could sue, and win. I'm at a loss for what to do.''

Jack replies ''Well, it's already established that we won't pay,'' he pauses, ''dont think I disagree though, because I don't.''

Lenon replies quickly ''Well talk to Mark about it and get back to me. I'd hate to have to make this a political feud''.

''Well I don't think we'll be able to do it any other way'' Jack says before hanging up the phone.

Lenon returns to his seat and gets out his laptop and begins writing a letter.

From the desk of Jimmi Lennon:
To all Athletes

I have gotten off the phone with Jack Sampson, and it seems that it is unlikely that the fees will be solved by anything aside from political action; still the boycott is in effect. Only pay for things you'd pay for back at home. So pay if you buy something, but to enter a store don't. These capitalist pigs will not bankrupt you and our country. We'll get back to you on this later.

In other news, keep practicing and win us the golds. Don't forget about the team dinner tonight. Oh and press conference at noon tomorrow. Anyways. Keep it up and make yourselves proud.

Yours Truely,

Jimmi Lennon

((OOC: The refusal of fees is totally IC don't think we hate you Caf^^))

by **Liventia** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:57 pm

JACOT offers to pay for Virabian athletes

Orean, LIVENTIA (Radio Ad’ihan International Olympics)— The Joint Association of the Combined Olympic Team (JACOT) has written to Virabia's Olympic High Council to offer to cover 50 per cent of all Virabian costs incurred in Cafundéu, according to a press release.

JACOT, which is made up of Ad’ihan's National Olympic Committee (COIA) and Liventia's Olympic Association (LOA), as well as with input from Tyoduura's National Sports Council, made the offer "in the Olympic spirit of friendship", LOA press officer Terry Reynolds told RAI Olympics.

"Following the recent press reports out of Virabia about their situation in Cafundéu, and with both Ad’ihan and Liventia being used to the Cafundelense way of taxes, an agreement was reached within JACOT to contribute towards Virabia," Reynolds said.

"We are of course prepared to pay the tax for helping others pay taxes. Sure, this may take a chunk out of our Olympic budget but we are prepared to help smaller nations not prepared for what they'll have to go through in Cafundéu.

"We have written to the Cafundéu Olympic authorities to ask that they reciprocate our offer by agreeing to cancel costs for winning medals for the medal winners. They've come to Cafundéu to show their athletic prowess and shouldn't be made to pay when they do well. We hope the organisers will agree to our request."

by **Valanora** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:47 pm

Valanora Times
Fees No Worry For Vanorian Delegation

Viella Incorporated, the Vyintanese electronic software and hardware manufacturer, has decided to pay for all taxes incurred by the Vanorian Olympic Delegation in their stay for the Winter Games in São Jorge. A spokesperson for the company cited national pride and enthusiasm over the potential medal haul the Vanorians look to bring as the primary reasons why the company decided to offer their coins for the cause. While not an official sponsorship of the team, which itself is illegal under Vanorian Sporting Law, Bill 10 Amendment 93, which forbids teams or individuals representing the nation to be sponsored, it is seen as an informal sponsorship by most of the media outlets in the rest of the country. Whether or not this opens the door for future discussion of official partnerships remains to be seen.

In other news from São Jorge, snowboarder Rochenglad Elersumé has been chosen from the delegation to be the flag bearer for the opening ceremony. Elersumé, a Gladerial native, is among the favorites to medal in the Men’s Parallel Giant Slalom. He becomes only the second Vanorian ever to have the honor of being the flag bearer for an Olympic Delegation, despite Valanora participating in two previous Summer Games.

by **Virabia** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:31 am

Liventia wrote:JACOT offers to pay for Virabian athletes

Orean, LIVENTIA (Radio Ad’ihan International Olympics)— The Joint Association of the Combined Olympic Team (JACOT) has written to Virabia's Olympic High Council to offer to cover 50 per cent of all Virabian costs incurred in Cafundéu, according to a press release.

JACOT, which is made up of Ad’ihan's National Olympic Committee (COIA) and Liventia's Olympic Association (LOA), as well as with input from Tyoduura's National Sports Council, made the offer "in the Olympic spirit of friendship", LOA press officer Terry Reynolds told RAI Olympics.

"Following the recent press reports out of Virabia about their situation in Cafundéu, and with both Ad’ihan and Liventia being used to the Cafundelense way of taxes, an agreement was reached within JACOT to contribute towards Virabia," Reynolds said.

"We are of course prepared to pay the tax for helping others pay taxes. Sure, this may take a chunk out of our Olympic budget but we are prepared to help smaller nations not prepared for what they'll have to go through in Cafundéu.

"We have written to the Cafundéu Olympic authorities to ask that they reciprocate our offer by agreeing to cancel costs for winning medals for the medal winners. They've come to Cafundéu to show their athletic prowess and shouldn't be made to pay when they do well. We hope the organisers will agree to our request."

((OOC: Im to lazy to tie this to something IC (will later) but me and Caf are planning to extend this throughout the Olympics and quite possibly the BoF, so while otherwise I would but, I already have some plans for this^^))

by **Lithatrius** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:59 am

Lithatrian Team arrive in Cafendeu

The Lithatrian Winter Olympics Team today arrived in Cafendeu. There has been no official statement from the team, but expectations are high, with the team expected to bring back several bronze and silver medals, and in the ideal situation several golds. The Snowboarding coach, Feodor Nestalav today said that they hope to do well in the competition and that the whole team were ambitious and excited.

More news to follow...

by **Cafundeu** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:20 pm

The last days in Cafundéu were of great expectation, as a bunch of reporters stayed for days in the St. George's Plaza to take some comments from the Counsellor-Ministers of the country about all the confusions surrounding the reactions of athletes and olympic committees of many nations toward the high living costs being charged in São Jorge, which seem to be even higher than the normal. After a long wait, finally the Counsellor-Minister of Finances, Devir Malbrando, has decided to leave his office and home in order to answer questions from the media.

Q: "How is the Prince Regent reacting to so many complaints from other nations?"
Devir: "He is surely angry... maybe this is not the better word, but he isn't happy... I mean, the people know what they are going to face here, what they are going to pay here, and they still complain after entering our country? The whole world knows about our costs and taxes, they could just stay home, but they come here anyway just to criticize, of course this disappoints us."

Q: "And what about Virabia? Surely this one has been the worst situation so far..."
Devir: "Honestly, this is the only one so far. You say many nations are against the costs, and this may be right, but just Virabia campaigned against this... which is ridiculous in my opinion. I mean, they come to our country, we have done our best to accomodate them and they reply by refusing to do something we all do here in our country, foreigners can't be exceptions to the rule! Our taxes are the law, and it is fair that everyone pays what they have to pay, I do!"

Q: "Which actions is the government preparing to do?"
Devir: "For a start, we have to negotiate. I mean, we will negotiate what they owe to us, the Cafundelense Empire. But what they owe to restaurants or any shops is not our concern... I'm sure they'll fight for their money as well."

Q: "There has been some repercussion already, some messages against the Virabia delegation are appearing in the internet, and even some groups wanting them to underperform in the Olympics..."
Devir: "That was expected, our population pays their living costs and surely finds it unfair that others refuse to do, which can even be seen as an attack to our great country. Honestly, I don't know what they are wanting to achieve... is this a political dispute, or just fear of losing money? I have to say I don't support any of these messages, and wish them good luck in the Olympics, but can't say they don't deserve these messages..."

Q: "The Combined Team Association, the JACOT, has offered to pay for half of Virabia's taxes."
Devir: "I heard of it. That's excellent. These are the moments when we see the nations that are willing to work for the best. The JACOT and its member nations surely know that these taxes are part of our country, and it isn't right to avoid them. But Virabia would still owe us the other half! Of course they have to accept this offer, otherwise how will they pay? If they don't accept, then it will clearly become an outrage, perhaps not only for us but also for the JACOT."

Q: "One member of the Liventian association raised the idea of cancelling costs for the gold medals..."
Devir: "The Prince Regent has agreed to make the costs of the gold medals lower than the ones for the silver medals, which would be lower than the ones for the bronze medals. Cancelling costs would be difficult, but we are negotiating something new that can work this way. We will check with the other committees if it would be okay for them for the medals to be sponsored. You know, just a small logo on the medals. This way, there would be no costs over the medals, as these would be paid by the sponsorship."

Q: "Sponsored medals?"
Devir: "Just a small logo, nothing big."

Q: "To end this... what about the accusations that the living costs here in São Jorge are biggest than usual during the Olympics?"
Devir: "Erm... well, we admit it. But you have to understand that this event demanded this, as we, the government, and all the private sectors involved had to invest a lot for these Winter Olympics to happen. The extra price is a way for us to be compensated by our effort."

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:07 pm

Winter Olympics São Jorge

And while you're looking at your little tele, watching all of those strikingly young men and women take to those slopes to tackle those odd challenges, or to the rinks to speed around fastest, zip around neatest, and otherwise perform at their peak of any person's abilities... there will be on little thing watching you. Indeed, such is the season now that we have experienced now more than ever before the migration of these pesky little things, and they come from far and wide to seek out the luscious stuff of life. And they come from all corners of life itself, from the fledgling to the full-borne brutes of the sky. And they have all converged upon São Jorge for one single purpose: to make the life of men wretched.

No, we're not talking about ducks, nor geese nor swans. 'Tis the noble magpie and its thieving comrades - the crows, the ravens, and the treepies. But mostly the magpies, as they are among the most intelligence species of bird around (even more so than those damned ducks and such). Anyway, so the magpies have come to São Jorge to prey upon the weak and whimsical hosts. And of course, whenever there is a party, there is always food. And so it was, the migration had scarcely begun when the birds emerged and settled in their roosts, waiting for the perfect victims. And they used a wide assortment of tricks to get their food.

The simplest way was to steal it blatantly. This did not always work, as shown whenever the person in question was holding the food. But the magpies would persist, and they found eventually that the best place to filch their prize would incidentally be right above the food stand. Unfortunately, whether by superstition or by the inconvenience of cleaning up all of the doo around their establishments, the birds would be shooed away. Notably, the tax for cleaning up bird doo was significantly less costly than the cost of either leaving it there or having someone else clean it up. The next places that the birds found were those outdoor dining areas, where spectators could watch and eat at the same time, even though it was bloody cold out. Nonetheless, this too posed problems as people were less likely to come out whenever they realized that the magpies were there. But these magpies were quite intelligent creatures. Sometime later, they devised calling schemes to indicate whenever a person had gotten something to eat. They would cry out their call, and the birds would swoop down and attack the person until he/she surrendered the prize. Others preferred less costly methods - they learned to imitate cell phone calls, from the basic "ding-ding-ding" to the more elaborate polyphonic ringtones; and in the rush to check their cell phones, the people would lose their precious food. Others still devised other methods of getting their food. Some chose "pity" method. Pretend to have a broken foot or a clipped wing, snatch the food from gracious patrons, wait for them to get out of sight, then fly away with the prize. There was a problem with that method, and that was cats.

Indeed, in the quest for food, the great magpie migration also seemed to bring along the greatest migration of cats. So many cats had converged upon São Jorge that the magpies had resorted to badgering the cats away. People would laugh as they saw the magpies snatching and catching the random cats' tails, shooing them off as much as the humans would shoo the birds away. And for some, they would be rewarded by the onlooking tourists, who knew nothing better. And all of this presented problems for everyone: the tourists, the food vendors, the parking lot attendants, the Olympics Hosting Committee, but especially the birds themselves. Because there were so many magpies, they were practically competing with one another for food. And so it came along that some of the magpies were hunting other birds, in a grotesque sight that felled the faint of heart. The magpies themselves knew that there was a problem, but none had an answer to the problem.

Well, almost no one...

It was an early morning, and two young bachelor magpies were perched in the roof of some rather big-sized cafeteria. It wasn't the season for breeding yet, but they were still perched there, scouting out for females. Magpies are monogamous (and not AustinPowers-style too...), so the best chance for the males to find a female mate was coming up very soon. And while they perched there, they look around for food as well. The more cheery magpie had his head flying all over the place.

"Eh, Hugo," he said in chirpy chirps. "Y'think we could get some chicks up here?"

"It's too early for SLANI chicks," Hugo replied - evidently the more cynical of the two. "Chicks only come out after the big bright thing in the sky gets past its highest point. And then you'll have to wait until the big bright thing is about 30 degrees down; that's when the most chicks come out."

"Aw..." his companion said. "I like chicks. Chicks taste good."

"I like chicks too, Henry."

The two continued to scout around for food and females. In the disance, Hugo could spot a lone magpie coming up. He perched on a tree opposite the courtyard. Henry immediately noticed him and started getting all chirpy. "Eh, Hugo! He's in our territory! I figure we should giv'im the boot!"

"Not yet. We wait to see if he's with a party."

"He's all alone! We should giv'im the boot!" And with that, Henry fluttered out of the coop. Hugo tried to stop him, but wings aren't worth much for stopping. He fluttered out of the coop as well, chasing Henry, who was chasing the other male. "Henry! He's not alone!"

"I've got'im Hugo! I've got'im!"

"No you don't!" At that instant, Hugo pushed extra hard with his wings to knock Henry out of flight, just in time to evade the claws of another magpie. As it turned out, their little invader was the scout of a larger group of magpies, who were very upset that Henry had tried to chase them out. And now, they were being chased out of their little comfortable shack. More importantly, they were chased away from their primary source of food, and all because Henry thought to chase away one scout. Of all the birds in the evolutionary tree, he was stuck with the dumbest in the lot. They found some tree farther away from the cafeteria on a more distant slope; considerably safe from the peckers, but too far from reliable food.

Henry had a downtrodden glimmer. "Sorry 'bout that, chap."

Hugo settled on a branch farther away. He was more frustrated that he got out of his little burrow to rescue Henry. What sort of benefit did he have to keep Henry around? Whether genetically or physiologically, Henry was not fit to survive. He clearly belonged at the bottom of the food chain, with the peckers feeding off his carcass. But of course, where would he find a good friend then? Henry, for all of his inadequacies, remained a very loyal friend. It was seldom in the natural world that friends as loyal and faithful as Henry came along, and for some reason Hugo cherished that fact. Maybe it was a sign that he didn't belong in the genepool either.

Henry glanced over at Hugo. "Hugo?"

Hugo fluttered off without any reply. Henry would have followed, but he knew by then that when Hugo left alone, he sought to be alone. And there's something they say about lonely magpies...

by **Virabia** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:24 pm

Earlier today Jimmi Lenon held a press confrence on a wide variety of subjects, the below is an exerpt in response to the Cafundese press confrence

Q: Earlier Today you got an offer from JACOT to pay half your fees what's your opinion on that?

A: Well It's likely we'll accept the offer, and cut our losses if we can. I thank them for extending their hand to us, and we can not thank them enough for their offer.

Q: In an earlier press conference Devir Malbrando said '...but just Virabia campaigned against this... which is ridiculous in my opinion. I mean, they come to our country, we have done our best to accomodate them and they reply by refusing to do something we all do here in our country...' what's your response to that?

A: Well, I disagree with him. Why should we have to pay these fees, its nonsense. I even heard we have to pay for medals if we win them. We are simply here to play sports, win gold and come home. Why should we be over-charged to do just about anything, were Olympic athletes. Is this some ploy to weaken us in the advantage of the home team. I shudder to think.

Also when he says that Cafundeu has done their best to accept us. I say how, by making us pay to for everything except breathing, and perhaps even that. Is that being a good host, I think not. I ask how he'd like it if at MY house party I charged him for everything, he'd probably leave in disgust; never to return. So a good host they are far from.

Q: When he mentioned negotiation how open are you to that prospect?

A: We are open, and will negotiate, but I doubt it'll do much good.

Q: Why are you even doing the boycott in the first place:

A: To put it bluntly, it's unfair that we should be asked to pay these fees, we're here for the Olympics. Which didn't have to be here. Since when are these events exclusionary. Never in history have they been nor should they be now.

Q: He said 'can't say they don't deserve these [Virabian hate] messages' what's your reaction?

I think it's ludicrous. Another example of his country not being good hosts I might add. I heard about one group in particular. It's catching wind in Cafundeu and they want us to be barred from competing. Sure it's unlikely to ever happen, but who knows.

Q: What if the said group gets their way?

A: We'll appeal to the Highest body we can and ask that we can participate, if not in Cafundeu than in some other location but, I doub't that will ever happen.

Q: What's your reaction to sponsored medals?

A: This is the Olympics, not some small local event. If any advertising is on the medals we will reject them, and ask that proper medals be given.

The interview went on from there and covered his thoughts of the teams chances. We'll publish those tomorrow.

by **Sorthern Northland** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:08 am

Beningrad Morning Star Online

Sorthern Olympic Committee to lodge complaint over lack of breathing taxes for Virabia

The Olympic Committee of Sorthern Northland (OCSN) has this morning waded into the ongoing not-really-a-scandal-but-given-the-gate-suffix-by-us-anyway debate over the infamous Cafundelense taxes at the Winter Olympics that has unimaginatively been dubbed 'Taxgate'.

The Virabian delegation has, in a manner not dissimilar to that of the Sorthern Northland national football team during the forty-second World Cup finals which were partially hosted in Cafundéu, thus far made a point of refusing to pay the masses of taxes that Cafundéu is infamous for whilst they're in the country to participate in the upcoming Winter Olympics to be held in São Jorge.

In a recent press conference held by Jimmi Lenon, Virabia's Olympic Program Field Manager, Lenon claimed “when he says that Cafundeu has done their best to accept us. I say how, by making us pay to for everything except breathing”. The claim however has lead to Sorthern Northland's Olympics chef de mission, Seán Ó Faoláin to claim that the Cafundelense hosts are giving certain nations preferential treatment.

Speaking from his base for the duration of the Games in room nine point eight four of the cheapest bed & breakfast money can buy in São Jorge, Ó Faoláin claimed, “I'm disappointed to hear that the Virabian delegation haven't been charged for breathing, we certainly have and whilst I agree with some of the morals behind the Virabian protests I think the least we can ask for is that the host country applies the same charges to everyone when they do the same thing as each other. Unless of course the Virabians have been holding their breathes and not breathing the whole time they've been here. If that's the case then it's fair enough to not charge them the 'breathing Cadundelense air taxes'. Though I'm sure there's some sort of 'holding your breath tax'.”

When accused of taking Jimmi Lenon's quote out of context by omitting that Lenon had added “and perhaps even that” to the end of “by making us pay to for everything except breathing”, Ó Faoláin claimed he had been trying to avoid the 'quoting people in full tax'.

Ó Faoláin then went on to insist that Sorthern Northland would not be joining any boycott of taxes claiming “The 'boycotting taxes tax' is even more extortionate that the tax for defending yourself from a goose. And besides, we've learnt from what happened to the football team at World Cup 42. We may not be fond of paying the taxes but it's Cafundelense law to pay them. If we expect them to respect our ways if they ever come to our country then surely we should respect their ways when we visit theirs” before going on to add “And besides, it's a lot cheaper and a lot less hassle to pay up straight away rather than leave them to chase after you and charge you the costs of that and interest and so on” whilst checking his wallet for loose change to pay the 'making statements to the press tax'.

Related articles:
Skeleton bobber Neil Klien announced as Sorthern flag bearer for opening ceremony
Neil Klien vows to carry mini-flag and to not wave it too enthusiastically in order to avoid 'carrying large flag' and 'waving flag enthusiastically' taxes
“I've never set foot in an ice rink” admits women's individual figure skating entrant Nadine Shergold

by **Cafundeu** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:22 pm

There has been a lot of confusion in Cafundó do Juta since the declarations that the Counsellor-Minister of Finances Devir Malbrando gave became news. Several newspapers showed the declarations, although curiously there was no official audio version of the questions and answers. Our magazine, Week in Paper, went after the Counsellor-Minister to check if his opinions were still the same, especially about Virabia's delegation and the sponsored medals.

Devir Malbrando refused to meet with our staff in person, but agreed to talk to our reporter by telephone. When she asked about his declarations, Malbrando confirmed that he gave an interview to comment about all the problems surrounding the Winter Olympics' last preparations, but complained that the newspapers weren't honest when releasing the details: "I agreed to talk to them, clear the situation, explain all the steps we are going to take... and they take everything I say, cut one thing here, another there, and transform it in a speech with a new purpose! They have manipulated my comments completely! Many of the things released on the press were said, yes, but most phrases were incomplete, which changed the meaning of my words." That shouldn't be a surprise, as the modified version of Devir's comments sold many newspapers, and most Cafundelense news sources would make these cuts in order to make the news more interesting.

About Virabia, he was short: "If they say they won't pay, we'll just work like we do with any debtor. But, right now, nothing will be done! After all, the deadline for payment of their first taxes will be only at the end of the week, so they still aren't true debtors. And even if they were, the only thing we would do is to send the tax collectors, which wouldn't affect their Olympic performance. The government has nothing to do with possible hate messages. I just lament they have disagreed to follow our laws and respect one of our biggest traditions... and I am surprised people don't pay for the things when invited to a friend's party there!" Besides, the news that Virabia accepted the JACOT offer seemed to have a positive effect on Devir, who seems confident with future negotiations. "No one wants this to have a bad end to neither of the sides." The JACOT money will probably be used to pay the private costs/taxes, as these are the ones with the most severe consequences in case of debt.

The negotiations with other Olympic Committees over the inclusion of small sponsorships in the winners' medals wasn't commented much by the Counsellor-Minister: "We sent the proposal, now all the involved will reach a consensus together. I think that would be nice." We were about to end the conversation with the important politician when we received the news about some Sorthern Northland athletes complaining about nations that are charged of less things than others.

When talking about this issue with Devir, he laughed: "They had to wait the public taxes' bill before saying this. The "air tax" is calculated by the time a person stays outside home, multiplied by the "breathing level" of the activity he or she is doing, all caught by our cameras. I have no idea how they can calculate this... inside hotels and other buildings, it's up to the owner to charge costs for the air or not, this is not our concern. But the point is that everyone is under the same costs, the same costs the Cafundelenses have to pay too. So, a fair situation, yes. As I already said, wait for the bill. And I'm happy to hear that the Sortherners are cooperative in paying, some of us were worried. Well, I guess that is enough. I will be still available to talk about the taxes' concerns, but I'll send a representative to São Jorge who will handle most things, together with the COC President."

by **Newmanistan** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 7:04 am

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

WE HOPE YOU’VE SAVED UP!

Pocono City- In approximately one week’s time, the games of the fifth Winter Olympiad will be taking place in Sao Jorge, Cafundeu. So far, entry lists are still coming in from all over the globe so we don’t have the exact numbers, but we are sure that the Cafundese government will have extra tax collectors on the beat to make sure no one tries to cross a street when no one’s looking in the midst of a large crowd. It will be a great, though costly, event and Newmanistan is ready to pay the price to experience ultimate glory. The sky blue and white will be seen in pretty much all major events as the Empire sends the maximum number of allowed athletes. Of course, our chances will be stronger in some events then others, but maybe we will have a surprise medal or two in store as was the case in Kelssek. We expect to be good in short track speed skating, our traditional forte, but maybe we’ll sneak a medal in something like snowboarding, as was the case last time. Here’s a synopsis of each type of event and what Newmanistanians should probably expect from it.

Alpine Skiing-- This is traditionally a tough series events to win medals in as a lot of the world takes a lot of pride in their skiing programs. But national champions Ronnie Soper and Cassie Monaghan should be right in the thick of all of it. Though their domestic rivals, athletes such as Jeremy Weiss, Meghan Gibbs, and Andrea DiGeorgio will have just as good of a shot we feel. Even young 19-year old Nicole Hocking looks to be a threat. The slalon, giant slalom, and super G will be our best events here, and these athletes are excited. “It’s great to represent Newmanistan together since we are so used to be competing against one another. We all want the medal for ourselves, but will be happy everytime the sky blue and white is raised above other flags at a medal ceremony,” said Soper, in a comment that could be restated by any athlete about their respective country. That is the great thing about the Olympic games. Look for Newmanistan to have success here, but medals will tough as the competition is strong.

Biathlon-- As the Olympic committee permits a few more entries this year as compared to the Kelssek games, Newmanistan’s biathlon representation increases from two to three entries with 32-year old Susan McLennan the main beneficiary. She will be in tough and knows her chances of medaling are quite slim, but it doesn’t matter. She is honored to be in Sao Jorge.

Bobsled-- Newmanistanian love for the bobsleds will show once again at the Winter Olympics. After a tough national competition, a total of four men and four women are prepared to show the world what they are capable of, and they expect to medal. Kevin Grenier, who also competed in Kelssek states, “We underachieved last time. It’s been a rough four years as we all went over what we could have done differently. I think a lot of it was nerves and we are ready for a big recovery this year. We have what it takes to medal in Sao Jorge.” You’ll certainly want to catch these events.

Cross Country-- Like biathlon, Newmanistan’s will have a greater contingent in cross country this year. That’s about all the positive we can say about it, but maybe we’ll get a surprise medal here.

Curling-- While speculation of an international curling cup continues, our athletes are ready for another strong showing to follow up the great performance in Kelssek. This is one of those sports that doesn’t get a lot of press in Newmanistan, but during the Olympics, we get attached to it.

Figure Skating-- These events bring out the best in the world and become some of the hardest overall medals to win. The Newmanistanian representation will be right there with the best of them, but with such a loaded pack of very talented skaters from all across the world, it will all depend on who’s not going to make that costly slip when the lights shine brightest. The only winners here we can be assured of now are those who love figure skating. They will see a great show from many talented performers that bring their own national flair to their routine.

Hockey-- Newmanistan will field a more offensive minded team then normal, so hopefully this will lead to better results then the team has had in the World Cup of Hockey. We’ve heard good things before, and perhaps some powers will take us lightly.

Luge-- Luge trails only short track speed skating as the preferred Winter Olympic sport of Newmanistanians. The results were mixed in Kelssek, and we hope to build on that here. We return all of our greats, and we expect to be the nation to beat. That said, there will be other threats to us, but here through these tunnels, we hope to have the world chasing us. Said Jennifer Paiement, “ I didn’t get what I went to Kelssek for, and that’s not going to happen again. I know there will be other great lugers here, but we are the best at it, I will take anyone on any day of the week. I didn’t come to Cafundeu to end up with anything less then gold, and if I don’t, I will be only happy if it is around the neck of another Newmanistanian.

Short Track-- This is where you can expect to see a lot of sky blue in the final heats and winning medals. Everyone that Newmanistan brings to these events is a threat to win gold in their events. As we saw in the exciting national championships, the supply of great skaters is great here, and we could have sent another ten or so athletes that still would have been better then half the field. Still, we can not get too confident, because other then the Rocket on the front of their uniforms, they will have a target on the back of them for everyone else. As good as they are, there are some that could crash the party, so we can’t take anything lightly. Balida for example, makes a statement that there Omer Demling will “dominate at the 500m”. Well, Mr. Demling, you’ve never raced a Newmanistanian, now have you?

Skeleton-- It might be a bit of an upset, but Newmanistan has moderate medal threats here in Matthew Bergin and Shannon McCartan. Bergin goes to Sao Jorge in the best form of his life and is confident he has a thing or two for the rest of the field. Hopefully, he will.

Ski Jumping-- Not an event we are used to having success in, but Scott Ronning may be defying that. The 21-year old credits his experiences of watching past Olympics and loving watching the others do what his passion is all while wishing Newmanistan could make noise. At 13, he vowed to make the Olympics and promised to put a Newmanistanian in contention for a medal. While others looked at as a teenage dream, Ronning has backed it up and has an excellent chance of bringing home a medal in this event. If anything, he gives us a reason to watch and someone to root for. Any success he would have might just make for one of the better feel good stories of the Olympics.

Snowboarding-Tony Faulkner shocked the world by winning a gold medal in the last Olympics (OOC: because he did so with a modifier of 0.1), and in the last four years he has done nothing but improve and is coming into this Olympiad in the best shape of his life. Some call him “seven times better”. Now, will he have the same kind of good fortune (i.e. the immense backing of Margaret)? We’ll have to see.

[u]Speed Skating-[/u[- Things are probably a little deeper on the women’s side then they are on the men’s, but in most of these events, we should have a chance to medal. National champions Chris Davidson and Shannon Maloney are the first names that come to mind, but there are about five or six Newmanistanians that can medal in these events.

Well, there’s our synopsis. There are some people grumbling about the taxes and fees of Cafundeu life, but our delegation is not worried, thanks to the support of Emperor Michael IV, who will compensate all athletes for their expenses when it comes to the fees that are unique to Cafundeu. So if a Newmanistanian complains to an official, they can do it without worrying about the bill that come after. It is times like this that it is good to have a frightening economy.

by **Kelssek** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:45 pm

Olympic committee reveals plans to cope with taxes

Kelssek's chef-de-mission for the 5th Olympic Winter Games, Josephine Andrews, has revealed that the Kelssek delegation's plans to avoid the complete financial collapse of the Kelssekian Olympic Committee are primarily centred around a "quid-pro-quo" arrangement involving Cafundelese Counsellor-Minister of Finances Devir Malbrando and several other top officials in the country's revenue agency.

"Certain evidence, of which these persons are no doubt well acquainted and had believed to be destroyed, have come into the KOC's possession. They detail very clearly the wink-wink which took place at nudge-nudge, on a certain date. Needless to say, these are highly embarrassing and incriminating, and I am certain we will receive full cooperation and favourable terms in regards to the tax situation, failing which, we will be forced to come clean with this evidence." she said today.

It is understood that with this arrangement, the entire delegation of athletes and officials will be able to settle all taxes incurred in Cafundéu with a single, reasonable payment of the blackmailing of taxation officials tax. Ms. Andrews also expressed her sympathy with national Olympic committees facing difficulties in affording the bevy of taxes that awaits visitors to Cafundéu, encouraging them to evade taxes where cost-effective, as the evading taxes tax can be considerably lower than taxes for certain goods, services, and actions, such as purchasing fish or finishing in 5th place.

While it seems the Olympic delegation will be safe from being taxed, the same cannot be said for other elements of Kelssek's presence at the games. In particular, the KBC has said it will scale back the updating of its Olympic website to avoid incurring too much in updating of website taxes, while broadcasters televising live events will put in a 10.93-second transmission delay to avoid the live coverage of sporting events tax, which applies to any broadcast with 10.92 seconds delay or less. The move has prompted some consternation from Kelssekians who fear being ridiculed for being behind the events when on chat programs with foreigners on the Internet.

by **Taeshan** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:40 pm

"Well here we are at the 200 and Bleep Winter Olympic Press event. Today we have the Taeshan Olympic Council and they will be discussing the Cafundeuns high tax rates. Hello Madame President."

"Hello commentator. I am here to represent the Taeshani Olympic Commitee."

"I have noticed in the past few weeks that you guys have not even to the slightest degree tried to pay any taxes to the Cafundeun people for your stay in their nation during these olympic games. what is your response to the Cafunduen taxes?"

"Well we in Taeshan have values. None of which include paying monstrous ammounts of money. See we may not be in a recession in Taeshan, but we ain't swimming in the cash either. We refuse to pay pointless sums to an interenational nation of which we have no quarrel with. As it is in Taeshan the government does not tax as it is a private business so to speak. We make the money to run our governement and we will not pay money to the private or the public sector in Cafundeu. I have no disrespect to the people of Cafundeu, just their outrageous ideas."

"And their it is. I'll return late with a report titled, Why is there still no Kosovoen Winter Team? Back with more later."

by **Virabia** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:20 pm

The Vonghurst Star
Guest Opinion
by Jack Lewis

For the past few days the Taxgate affair has rocked media here. With words going back and forth between the two sides, I figured that we'd all like to hear what a sports fan has to say on all of this.

To begin I'd like to say that I agree with Virabia's claims. It's outrageous that people should be charged on that level. Especially when its to participate in the Olympics, which is open to all nations, and in theory accessible to all nations, yet with what Cafundeu is doing is sabotaging the equality and instead having it only be accessible to the rich. These costs will drive this nation and many of the athletes into debt, and don't get us wrong we are a first world country. Yet what makes this even worse is Cafundeu touting that they're being good hosts, which I laugh at. From what I heard everything is taxed from walking to receiving a damn medal. It's ridiculous that anyone can live like that. Taxed to death. What I wonder is why they don't have a damned revolution. One can recall that Archistan separated from Northland (pre-Virabian states) due to the taxes, and they weren't close to the level of Cafundeu.

What disgusts me even more is that Malbrando fumbled a bit after Lenons interview. With no official recording, we can't even be sure of what he said.

All and all, I hope they get to some negotiation, and nothing all that bad arises out of this, anyways let's get to what we really want. SPORTS!

by **Casari** » Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:51 am

"You know, back in the Casaran Olympics, we just handed out books on how not to be arrested, and none of this longwinded bureaucratic bullshit that's going on lately." Greg Almond said, mumbling as he stapled together another large stack of papers, placing them into an ever-increasing stack, straightening it as it started to lean dangerously. "Taxes? Pfft. We had hand drawn images of a convertible crashing into a bus."

"I'd be inclined to agree with you, but I'm wondering why we don't have interns to staple all of this random crap together and pass it out. Are we really this poor, we're an Olympic Committee, for Crysakes." Lisa Scott replied, following the other co-head of the delegation, punching another stack of papers and setting them on the stack.

"They all were working on our bid. That's typical foresight for you, put everyone to work on one thing, and don't actually come up with any kind of backup plans."

"Well, thank god we just managed to get the airfare and housing stuff worked out, that was a mess and a half." Scott said, sighing and slumping into a chair. "Bleh. And we're doing all this word for skiers and the damn bobsled. Who the hell watches the bobsled? I've seen better action in a kid riding down the road in a wheeled bathtub."

Almond stopped for a moment and turned. "How the hell did you get this job anyway, Lisa?"

"I'm a Summer Olympic holdover."

"We weren't in the Summer Olympics. And the next bid isn't due to be ready for a while."

"Yup, that's why I'm the only one."

Almost let that one sink in for a moment, shifting from one foot to the other. "Well, figure skating is pretty boring."

"That's the spirit! I said we should have spent the money on a Formula 1 team, but noooo, noone respects auto racing anymore."

"Ohh, that's just all an excuse to drink." Almond replied.

"What isn't here? It's kinda the stereotype."

"Stop saying things like that. You'll undermine us in front of the other countries while we're in Cafundeu."

"Pffffft, other countries." Scott said, rolling her eyes and taking a drink from a bottle of water.

"I'm serious. We seem crazy enough when put to a casual comparison with a proper country, the last thing we need is the idea that we condone unbolting seats from stadiums and taking them as proper souvenirs of the Olympic Experience, or that going and staying in a public park under a tree after passing out from drinking every day and trying to cash in on someone else's public health care is a good way to get a free liver transplant." Almond said, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Hey. The liver thing only happened once that we know of."

"Nonono. I'm damn tired of being an international embarrassment, and I'm going to see that we make it through this thing without a measure of horrendous drunkenness."

Lisa frowned. "So... should I call Emeri Brewing, and tell them to take back the free beer that was part of the sponsorship deal? People are really excited about the whole 'Can-a-karat' thing where they get free beers for gold medals, too."

Almond frowned. Emeri Brewing was an important sponsor- probably the most important based on their market domination in beer, spirits, fuels, and computer software development. But, at the same time, open liquor sponsorship was a stain on the Team's record. He struggled with that for a moment, before something else occured to him.

"Wait, we still have some of that free beer?"

"Ha. That's the spirit."

by **Quintessence of Dust** » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:56 pm

Posted on the QBS Olympic site.

Athlete Profiles

Alexandra Parkinson - Figure Skating (Pairs)

Pétur Eiríksson - Figure Skating (Men's Ice Dancing)

Sophie Poulsen - Speed Skating (Women's 1 km/Women's Team Pursuit)

by **Cafundeu** » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:52 pm

With the end of the preparations for the V Winter Olympics in São Jorge, with all the buildings finished and the athletes arriving to the country, the government of the Dunboor state and of Cafundéu as a whole were already looking forward to the event to start. But recent problems involving the receiving of the costs' money obligated the Prince Regent to organize a meeting with the people involved in the Olympics. Together with the Prince Regent Miguel I were the Counsellor-Minister of Finances Devir Malbrando, the Cafundelense Olympic Committee president José Augusto Fonseca, São Jorge representative Valdo Cabrine and the Governor of Dunboor Daniel Nices.

MIGUEL I - "I don't like the way things are going, my friends. My father and I are very worried... we have invested a lot in this event, everyone should be satisfied... why all these complaints involving our living costs? Doesn't any country have those?"

DEVIR - "Yes, practically all of them have them, but they still believe ours is unacceptable. But we don't need to worry, the law is by our side. If they don't negotiate, we have the right to take proprierties and keep them here."

MIGUEL I - "I don't want things to reach this point. In the end, we lose more than them. We lose reputation with the rest of the world, it is an embarassing situation. And we end spending as much as them with the justice costs."

FONSECA - "So, what we can do?"

MIGUEL I - "That's the problem, and that's what we need to think right now."

NICES - "If you are so worried about public opinion, my lord, then we need to lessen the problems these athletes will face by refusing to pay the costs... you know, the refusal of services to the Virabia and Taeshan athletes."

FONSECA - "Yes. Luckily this hasn't happened yet because the deadline has just passed. But, in the next days, restaurants will refuse to serve food, transport companies will refuse to give transportation, shops will refuse to give entry... and so on. This would be awful for everyone involved."

CABRINE - "But what we can do to avoid this?"

NICES - "What if the government offer these basic services to the debtors? Even with them in debt, we won't refuse to sell them food and do other basic things... they'd still have to pay for these things, but not a high price. Everyone wins. We avoid the embarassing situation and they won't need to eat from garbage cans and sleep on the streets."

MIGUEL I - "That sounds excellent. Prepare this."

DEVIR - "But this still leaves open the point that they have a huge debt... with the deadline passed, we now can start negotiations, and I'll send a tax collector soon to them."

CABRINE - "Well, this is another story. The tax collector will negotiate, and if they refuse the debt will only get higher... I'm not worried with this. Which kind of negotiation are you willing to do?"

DEVIR - "The basic. Dividing the payment in many months, without interest rates. Or paying with properties instead of money."

FONSECA - "Sooner or later, a negotiation will have to happen. Otherwise, I guess we will receive enough support from other countries to bring these cases to an international court and win them."

MIGUEL I - "I agree."

DEVIR - "There's another issue... we have received a visit from some representatives of the Kelssek Olympic Committee, they say they have something that they can use to blackmail us."

NICES - "Oh no, they know!"

CABRINE - "They know what?"

NICES - "No idea. I don't remember doing nothing wrong, but they know something."

DEVIR - "So they want to avoid the costs... and instead pay the tax for blackmailing."

MIGUEL I - "I can't believe this... well, I guess this is only related to the public costs... after all, what private companies charge is nothing of our concern... they charge even us!"

FONSECA - "Yes, surely they can only use this strategy to attempt to avoid the public taxes... they'd still have to pay the private costs."

MIGUEL I - "But I wonder if they know about my father's law against corruption. Unfortunately it is still a common practice, but now the punishment is heavy for everyone involved... except if it is someone important, hehe. The taxes involving bribes and blackmailing are so high that people can easily be out of money by paying them."

NICES - "But what do we do about them?"

MIGUEL I - "Everyone being blackmailed is free to choose... you can pay their costs in their place to avoid the informations to be revealed, or not... in the first case, you know the extra costs involved, of course."

DEVIR - "Surely I won't accept. After all, no matter what they have this will not take the position of Counsellor-Minister for me... am I right?"

MIGUEL I - "You are. I can keep you here without effort."

DEVIR - "So that's it."

FONSECA - "I am worried."

MIGUEL I - "So accept."

FONSECA - "I can't. I don't have the money to cover the costs of accepting their offer... I'll have to refuse too."

CABRINE - "I have done some calculations... I believe they'll be able to convince enough people to accept their offer to avoid one or two fifths of their public costs. But the taxes and costs involving all the blackmailing attempts, successful or not, will end being approximately three times bigger than the money they'll save."

MIGUEL I - "That's interesting. Be sure to send them the bill."

DEVIR - "I'll send a tax collector for this."

MIGUEL I - "I guess that it is time to begin the negotiations. To everyone in debt, send the tax collectors. About the private costs... they must be already contacting lawyers."

by **The Archregimancy** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:42 am

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY WINTER OLYMPIC DELEGATION REFUSES TO TRAVEL TO CAFUNDEU UNTIL OFFERED RELIGIOUS EXEMPTION FROM TAXES
"Is Outrage!" Says Team Spokesman

Plans for the Archregimancy's national delegation to cross over to Ordinary Reality to participate in the fifth Winter Olympiad in São Jorge, Cafundéu, were thrown into doubt last night when the Holy Synod refused to pay the exorbitant taxes typically levied on foreign visitors. "Our team consists of poor monastics who have given up all of their worldly goods in order to live a simple holy life" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "As such, they should be exempt from foreign taxation."

Cafundelese authorities have yet to comment on the Holy Synod's position, but sources close to the Olympic hosts state that a face-saving compromise may be possible whereby the Archregimancy's delegation are seconded to an Orthodox monastery in the host nation, which will take on responsibility for the monastic olympic squad during the games. A suitable monastery is being identified in the São Jorge region, which is - in a sure sign of divine favour - the Lusophone name for Saint George.

Monastic team spokesman Fr. Vassily was quick to denounce the Cafundelese tax regime. "Is Outrage!" said Fr. Vassily. "These here are the good Orthodox boys doing the Winter gaming thing! They be having no money to pay the fees!" Fr. Vassily refused to comment on our Lord and Saviour's injunction on "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's" except to point out that Cafundéu may be an empire, but that last time he checked, it wasn't ruled by Caesar.

by **Virabia** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:57 pm

The Vonghurst Star
Finally Some news that is NOT related to Taxgate (then some taxgate news)

VONGHURST - After even more deliberation the 13-man panel tasked with coming up with Virabia's Olympic and World Cup Hockey Team has still ended result less. Much of the deliberations revolved around which team to send the better players to, or if they should spread them out evenly. A task that seemed easy, but in reality isn't. As the wills of the clubs they play for also have an effect on the selection process. So far a shortlist hasn't even been developed for the team. And with one tournament already underway and another fastidiously approaching, this has every hockey fan in the nation. We'll just have to wait and see who is chosen, until then the 13-man team will be locked in deliberation.

In other news, Taxgate has ceased to end. With only two days away from being debtors the Special Olympic Economic Task Force (SOETS) has decided how to spend the money from the JACOT funds. It was determined that all necessary funds will be covered that is things related to survival and competition, with the leftovers covering the loose ends. Still many private debts will still exist, and those as Jimmi Lenon said "Will not be paid, because whats the worse they can do to us, their the PRIVATE industry". However, with this sense of optimism comes some caution, as soon afterward he asked publicly "What can they do to us?'. So the concern is there, we'll keep you posted on that affair.

And in some more Olympic news, the broadcasting rights to these Olympics were awarded to VTV, which will have their cameras and announcers out in force for these events. Instead of using a Cafundelese feed they instead opted for their own, not wanting to pay a hefty fee. Most events will be live, with some repeats in prime-time for popular events. The crew sent there will join in on the Olympic Teams Boycott of paying the outrageous fees, we'll see how that works. Till then it's a guessing game. (They'll arrive in Cafundeu on Sunday.)

V Winter Olympic Games - roleplay thread

V Winter Olympic Games - roleplay thread

Who is online