X Winter Olympics RP Thread

by **Transalpine Republic** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:32 pm

Transalpine Republic Reconsiders Alpine Skiing Program
Only 4 Alpine Skiing Medalists

Alpine skiing has traditionally been Transalpine Republic's forte in the Winter Olympics - indeed, in the Ninth Winter Olympics alpine skiing medals comprised three out of Transalpine Republic's five golds and an additional bronze medal. However, this year, Transalpine Republic has only won one gold, two silvers, and a bronze. After this poor showing, including several "DNF's" for Olympic competitors, Transalpine Republic's Ministry of Sports, Arts, and Culture is considering possible changes to the Alpine Skiing program in order to maintain Transalpine Republic's edge in these events.

Although Transalpine Republic's position in these Olympics has been nominally better than last year's Olympics, with a total of 17 medals, five golds, six silvers, and six bronzes, Free Republics and Electrum have totally overshadowed the Transalpine delegation, Free Republics with 34 medals and Electrum with 31, both among the highest totals in recent memory. In contrast, Transalpine Republic finished second place last year with only ten medals, showing that competition has increased. This increased competition is the backdrop for the changes in Alpine Skiing. Of the gold medalists in the Alpine Skiing events, three were from the Free Republics, two from Kelssek, and only one each from Transalpine Republic, Gregoryisgodistan, and Chiata. Transalpine Republic's gold medal count, in contrast to last years, includes one each from alpine skiing, snowboarding, short track, cross country skiing, and biathlon, several of those medals surprising. More surprising was the lack of medals in alpine skiing.

In fact, alpine skiing seemed to be in a state of torpor. In the women's slalom event, defending champion Christina Kathe finished far off the podium at only nineteenth place. Meanwhile, high hopes were placed on Christina Mendelssohn and Sophia Von Essen, but both failed to finish. In the giant slalom event, Christina Mendelssohn finished seventh, Sophia Von Essen finished eleventh, and previous bronze medalist Alina Lorenzen finishing seventeenth. The Super-G defending champion Lisa Bähr finished seven hundredths of a second off the podium; Sophia Von Essen placed seventeenth. In the women's downhill, Sandra Korošec finished second for a silver medal. Men's events were a little more hopeful. Carl Brodbeck, last year's slalom champion, got a silver medal in the giant slalom; Stefan Schroter managed to ski onto the podium with a bronze medal. In the men's downhill, Benjamin Solberg scored Transalpine Republic's only gold medal of Alpine Skiing so far. So far, the total for women's - one silver; men's - one of each medal.

What can be done to improve Transalpine Republic's medal count in alpine skiing? Minister Gabi Hochberg attempted to answer the question. "We're definitely considering several measures to improve alpine skiing here in Transalpine Republic. One is removing our superiority complex in these events - I think that we are all deluding ourselves into thinking we are the best when we are clearly not. Still, some of that could be chalked up to home field advantage for the Free Republics competitors, but Transalpine Republic needs to realize it's not perfect at this event and that we need to change our training policy. In short, we need to be less complacent."

Hochberg also hoped that the forthcoming Alpune Skiing World Cup might help Transalpine skiers. "We'll have some home field advantage when the tour comes here to Transalpine Republic - that will get people interested and help support our athletes. Also, our athletes will be training more for the tour, so hopefully that will extend to the Olympics." Thirdly, Hochberg said that recruiting talented youth could make up for a gap. "People who we have never considered before to be on our Olympic team - instead of the experienced thirty- or forty-year-olds, maybe some eighteen- or nineteen-year-olds could help make up the difference between Transalpine Republic and the rest of the world."

Skier Sophia Von Essen partially agrees with Hochberg's plan. "I like the idea of having more crowd support during my races. Here in Baseton, the only people the crowd gives a hoot about are the Free Republican competitors. With more Transalpinians supporting me, I definitely think I should be able to do better." Considering she is one of the younger athletes competing, she also supports the idea of having younger professionals competing for Transalpine Republic. "I'm only twenty-one," she says with a giggle, "and I'd love it if more skiers my own age were able to compete here at the Olympics and also at the World Cup." She had one more suggestion for the organizers. "Bring the Olympics to Transalpine Republic," she said. "It would work wonders for our performance."

Hochberg liked the idea, but he said it would require some deep assessments of Transalpine Republic's hosting capability. "We've never hosted anything of this magnitude before, and we'd need to show the world that we could host something like the Olympics. The Alpine Skiing World Cup might be a chance to do that, and if we can successfully bring maybe a luge or skeleton competition, we could do that. Hochberg also had another worry - price. "Holding an Olympics is expensive. If you don't have deep pockets, your grandiose plans might run into a wall - really quickly." If the Committee were frugal, though, Hochberg opined, "I think it could be done. With us, of course, I think the sky's the limit."

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:07 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Drearily Unnecessary and Unnecessarily Dreary Preview: Eiskrappentanzhockey semifinal promises record audience

sbc.swr/olympics

by **Todd McCloud** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:51 pm

Vekaiyu Wins Gold in Speed Skating, Ends Drought
Reporting for V3 News Services, Rin Slakori

BASETON - It's all right. The Vekaiyun National Olympic Council has proved it is at least somewhat capable in the winter games. Ikrisia Listerasre, the skater Vekaiyu chose to keep over the ones who defected to Listonia, pulled off a gold-medal routine at the games, taking just the second gold for Vekaiyu in the Tenth Winter Olympics. The small skater, who happened to be blessed with relatively long limbs with respect to her overall proportions, narrowly edged out Joke Zuyderwyk of the Kytler Penninsulae, but when she skated early on in the event, she knew it was strong enough for a medal.

"I'm just thankful that we can put some of the panic behind us," she admitted after spending the rest of the afternoon clock-watching. "We won some, [Listonia] won some. Can't really find anything wrong with that."

Listerasre has progressively improved, taking 48th in the Ninth Winter Games in Saugaeis, and 70th in Liventia in the Eighth Winter Games. Fellow teammate Anastia Vikari narrowly missed 3rd by three hundredths of a microsecond. The gold gives Vekaiyu five medals in these Winter Games, surpassing its former total of four set in the Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Winter Games.

by **Kelssek** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:12 pm

The Celestar temporary rental space was quiet and otherwise empty. It was nine in the morning, the time people showed up to work and didn't get a chance to go anywhere else yet, and too early in general to expect spectators to show up for athletic contests.

The Celestar executive was puzzled as to why Jaden Salerno had been so embarrassed to return the pilfered model, and only after extensive cajoling from Jorrit, who if nothing else was annoyed that it was cluttering up the room and he had nowhere to put his gear.

"I was just scared, you know, of consequences. Media getting in my face, all of that," Jaden explained.

"Well... better late than never. I promise I won't tell a soul. And it's not even that bad; we've closed quite a good bunch of deals here the last few days." The well-dressed management dude put the model back onto the pedestal it had come from and wiggled it about trying to fix it in place, before realizing his tie was in the way. Finally it locked into place with a click.

"What-" said Jaden as the room suddenly darkened. Sparks and particles of pure energy shot from the floor, coruscating around the model of the Ce540LR. A dull hum vibrated through the room, increasing in pitch and suddenly going silent.

Jaden blinked in confusion, causing all the sparks and beams to vanish. He was just in an ordinary room with a bunch of airplane models and stacks of brochures in it. The smell of some intern grinding coffee filled the room as the Celestar exec looked at him with concern. "Are you okay? I said, good luck at the Games. We're all supporting you."

Jaden was shivering. He muttered some polite thanks and left. When he got back to his room he threw his entire bottle of newly-opened protein powder in the trash.

by **Southern Yugoslavia** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:49 pm

Zharkov brings home second medal
For ZRN, Anton Veselovsky

BASETON - Artyom Zharkov has become the third Laiatanese athlete to win two medals this Winter Olympic games, the first and second athletes being luge team Alla Klimov and Daria Kuzmin. Zharkov came in third place during the Men's 1000 m speed skating event with a time of 1:09.22. He previously won a silver medal in the Men's 1500 m short track event. "It's great to be getting another medal, and being a part of Laiatanese Olympic history," Zharkov said in a post-event interview.

Laiatan has recently been in a bit of a gold medal drought, and many are hoping that another can be won soon. Laiatan's last gold medal was won January 19. At that time, Laiatan was in third place on the overall medal count. Today, Laiatan is in seventh place with eight medals, five of which are gold.

Regardless of where Laiatan ends up on the medal table, it is still an impressive Olympics for the freshman Olympic team and will surely set a record that next year's team will try and defeat.

by **Free Republics** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:51 pm

Logo created by Yttribia

Tonight, bodies will be bruised and blood will seep from the wounds of gladiators as the semis of men's ice hockey will be played. Tonight, dreams will be realized while other dreams will be extinguished. Its the 15th cutoff of the X Winter Olympics. This is Day 15!

by **Vermark** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 6:35 pm

Green Party of Vermark
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE:

In response to this message...

The Green Party of Vermark would like to make a public response to Electrumite pundit Miranda Lawrence for her chastising comments against the environmentalist movement in Vermark. We find the writer's words somewhat offensive and would like to display to the international community just how false her claims are.

Her first point was regarding the alleged hypocrisy of curling as a symbol for the Green Movement. Lawrence claims that curling stones are made from granite, and the mining of which is degrading to the environment. These statements brilliantly uncover the ignorance of the writer. While mining can be hazardous to the environment, it is only hazardous when there is a lack of regulation and general malpractice. When practices such as strip mining are banned and efforts like reclamation are mandated, we see little actual environmental problems. Additionally, most recreational curling stones aren't granite, rather they are most often foraged rocks found above ground and then chiseled into the circular shape required for a curling stone. In summary, the Green Party sees no conflict with the "curling culture" and the environmental cause. Events such as the Green Party Curling Classic will continue to be held as normal.

The premise of hypocrisy towards curling was understandable. The allegation that "climate change is just a myth invented by the green community to scare us into making us give up our civil rights" is utterly repulsive. The fact that people still deny the existence of climate change is disheartening. If you deny climate change, you deny science. Climate change has been proved by science time and time again. Science is not guess work. It is not fantasy. It is numbers and observations that produce concrete findings. The notion that environmentalists have a hidden agenda to restrict civil rights is also ridiculous. If anything, our cause aids civil rights. How can people have freedom of speech if the air becomes toxic? Where will we exercise our freedom of assembly if there is no where that is hospitable to meet? How will the freedom of press endure when trees cease to exist? All of these are catastrophes we are looking to avoid. We, environmentalists, are not evil. We are not socialists trying to take over the world. When you, Miranda, say "Do not be fooled", you already have by yourself and your ignorance.

Thank you for your time.

Olaf Prebesen
Green Party Spokesperson
greenparty.vk

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 11:00 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Mechanistic Results Regurgitation: Entire nation suffers simultaneous orgasm after finally winning alpine skiing medal

Victrix Ludorum

by **Electrum** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:17 am

Centralis Herald - Anders Townsend

The Aftermath of the decision

There's been a lot of tension around Electrum House at the Olympic Village already - some athletes have already packed their bags in preparation to go home, whilst others are still soaking up the mostly negative atmosphere in Baseton. Some athletes are just sick and tired of being boo'ed at - and who can blame them? That kind of distraction might have been the difference for some athletes between fourth place and third place - and Electrum has gotten so agonisingly close so many times, we almost wish for those polymer medals from Vekaiyu. Regardless, the reaction for Electrum to allow athletes the choice to remove themselves from the closing ceremony has mainly been positive, enjoying support within the Village, as well as at home.

In fact, a recent ReachTel poll, which surveyed a thousand Electrumites, saw that 81% of the respondents agree that Maximillion von Trier's decision for athletes to choose for themselves whether or not they want to participate was the right one. And it's no surprise why Electrumites are happy - we are riding on a sentiment of 'liberal' thinking at the moment, with the World Assembly recently classifying us as a Civil Rights Lovefest. That combined with the new Labour-Greens-Liberty alliance which was elected to the parliament recently, as well as our love for those dastardly disobedient groups (Legion of Lucifer and Feministvs Sanctvsterra), sees an abnormally high rate of approval for these kinds of polls.

Meanwhile, in the village, athletes are either happy that they are allowed to pack up or leave, or happy that they will still be allowed to act like lunatics in the closing ceremony. There is still trouble brewing, and the athletes have let me on in a little secret - that they all plan to wear pink in some way during their march into the stadium. This makes them join Gregoryisgodistan into doing the exact same thing - not exactly original. You have to feel sorry for the Republicans, who have worked so hard to stage this tournament, but the international community seems like they want to make the stadium as empty as possible by the end. The Liventians were the first to lead in that respect - then, a column by a certain Alan Cahill started a snowball - Electrum would make it optional, Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland would boycott, The Sword Bloke would boycott, Britonisea would withdraw, Vekaiyu would make it optional, and the Dark Star Republic would withdraw. Just which nation will boycott next?

The sentiment in these Olympics has definitely been a poisonous one. This started right when Feministvs Sanctvsterra hijacked the opening ceremony - and it would be a downward spiral since. Senator Izmailov would refuse to shake hands of the Gregoryisgodistani, and a Christian terrorism group would strike fear and terror in Taxachusetts. Meanwhile, a call to arms from the International Press, including the Centralis Herald, saw increasing amounts of athletes wear pink, in support for greater freedoms for women in both nations. Although the Free Republics are not an inwards nation, this sentiment from the athletes is unlikely to change anything at all - they have an established Men's Rights movement, and the Feministvs Sanctvsterra group (in my opinion, wrongly) has been accused of killing their consul. And Saintland, well, they haven't paid much attention to the Olympics, and quite frankly, don't even care about what other people think.

So, is this effort for naught? Only time will tell, but methinks not. Whether by circumstance or otherwise, the Holy Party was elected into power, and it seems that they have the majority support of the populace.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:18 am

Gregoryisgodistan Wins Three Medals, Advances to Men's Ice Hockey Final

It was a glorious day again for Gregoryisgodistan, as the Gregoryisgodistani athletes brought home three medals and the men's ice hockey team advanced to the gold medal game. Let's start out with the action on the slopes in the men's slalom. Secret Police Agent Richard Dawile finished 26th with a combined time of 1:43.88, but he was the only Gregoryisgodistani to finish one run, yet alone two. Cheese Police L838AD received a DNF after missing a gate, while Enemy Crusher Fatty McPoland and Enemy Crusher Fatty McSweden both crashed on their first run. In Enemy Crusher Fatty McSweden's case, he crashed through a barrier on the side of the slope and ran over a Republican fan. Although the fan suffered minor injuries from being run over by a 600-pound man, he was not hospitalized and the authorities ruled that it was unintentional, so Enemy Crusher Fatty McSweden was not arrested.

In the two-woman bobsleigh, Author 8DDLLLLLL and Elementary School Teacher BHHH90111 came within 0.13 seconds of becoming the second Gregoryisgodistani pair in a row to take gold, but ultimately fell short and won silver instead. Reigning champions Lumberjack U8138SKJD and Author S82378SDA came in 13th, well off the lead. While they were disappointed not to win another medal, Author S82378SDA said she was happy for her teammates who won silver. "Congratulations to my teammates in the other sled on winning silver. It is nice to see a Gregoryisgodistani on the podium even if it isn't us. Perhaps both of us will win medals at the XI Winter Olympics, wherever they may be. That would be most awesome. Perhaps we can even pull off a sweep of the medals if a third sled manages to medal. But we've got a whole year to look forward to that. For now, let's just celebrate that this country won a silver."

In the cross-country skiing women's team sprint final, Slave Catcher 88ASUDANSD and Slave MMMMA883 took home the hold with a time of 18:11.0, a full 19 seconds better than the silver medalists. They won Gregoryisgodistan's sixth gold of the Games and ensured "Gregory, Gregory, Lord Almighty" would be played at Olympic Stadium again that night during the medal ceremony. Indeed it was, and indeed they sang along, much to the chagrin of the booing crowd.

In the women's singles figure skating, Cleffie Martinez came in 17th place in the short program, but is just 3.22 points out of second place. A mere four points separate second place from 24th, so pretty much anyone can medal at this point. Unfortunately, Lady Dancer MARUAUFA and Lady Dancer SNORLAX812 seem too far back, but Cleffie, the lovely wife of Lord Almighty Gregory, has a chance to win her first Olympic medal. Cleffie Martinez has participated for Gregoryisgodistan at every Olympic Games they entered, Summer and Winter. She has competed in tennis at both Summer Games and figure skating at both Winter Games. She is the only Gregoryisgodistani athlete to do that. Even Lord Almighty Gregory himself has only participated in three Games, two Winter and one Summer. So it would be very lovely for her to finally win a medal.

In the men's skicross, Youth 9JJH848H won his second straight Olympic medal, taking the bronze in the four-person final. Youth 9JJH848H has now won two Olympic medals before his 18th birthday. He turns 18 on February 1, and has already decided that his chosen career will be Carpenter, meaning when he competes at the XI Winter Olympics, he will be known as Carpenter 9JJH848H. He hopes to win his third straight medal then. He would not only become the first Gregoryisgodistani to win medals at three Olympic Games, and possibly the first Gregoryisgodistani to win three medals period (depending on what happens at the Summer Games) but he would become the first Gregoryisgodistani, and one of the few people, if not the only one, to win Olympic medals under two different names. There's a long way to go until that happens though.

Meanwhile, in the men's ice hockey competition, the Ice Slaves advanced to the final with a resounding 5-2 victory over Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland. The game featured a hat trick from Pervert Chaser JDJJ8138 as well as a goal by Weatherman 92UDH9111 on a power play. Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians would add an empty netter with 25 seconds to play for his first career goal to seal the victory. Gregoryisgodistan will now face Vermark in the gold medal game on Tuesday. The medal ceremony will be held during the closing ceremony, meaning there is a good chance "Gregory, Gregory, Lord Almighty" will be played and sung by the entire hockey team before a sold out crowd. Sure, it has been played in Olympic Stadium before during previous medal ceremonies, but those were hardly sold out. And there wasn't an entire hockey team to sing along, only one, or occasionally two or four athletes. The hockey team has far more than that and will be sure to sing along proudly if they win gold.

Meanwhile, in ski jumping men's large hill qualifying, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Elmo Handy, and Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Holy Republican Empire Shall Be Set Ablaze all qualified for the final, while Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Saintland Must Be Nuked was disqualified. Gregoryisgodistan failed to win any medals in snowboarding or speed skating, and the women's team pursuit entry was eliminated in the quarterfinals. But all in all, it was a great day for Gregoryisgodistan.

Gregoryisgodistan now sits in third place overall with 22 total medals, six gold, ten silver, and six bronze. They are also guaranteed at least one more medal, in men's ice hockey, for a total of 23.

Today will be the women's free skate as Cleffie Martinez looks to win a medal in her event. The ski jumping men's large hill final is also today, featuring three Gregoryisgodistanis, as is the women's 1500 m speed skating final. The four-man bobsleigh rounds 1 and 2 are also today, though no medal will be awarded until tomorrow. Today also features the men's parallel giant slalom and women's ski cross qualifying, though again, no medals will be awarded yet. We may not be able to win medals in those sports today, but we can certainly lose them if we don't do well, so let's hope we do. Let's Go Gregoryisgodistan!

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 4:21 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Completely Missing The Point Of The Olympics Medal Table Update: von Bärberg's medal downgraded

by **Southern Yugoslavia** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 4:23 pm

Everyone inside the broadcasting station was relaxed and quietly talking amongst themselves, all set for Day 16 in the Tenth Winter Olympics. They would go back through everything about half an hour before the events started up, but right now the station was putting on the highlight reel of all the Laiatanese runs; especially the gold medal runs. Nobody expected their country to be doing as well as they were, being a freshman team and all. But, many believe the stage is being set for a nice precedent for winning gold medals in the Winter Olympics.

"Think we'll pick up the pace and get a couple more gold medals before the end of the Games?"

"Eh, maybe. Hoping we'll come through in bobsledding like we did with luge."

The male nodded, taking a drink from his Styrofoam cup filled with warm coffee. An older female walked into the lounge room and leaned against the door frame.

"Alright everyone, do the final one over. Games are about to start back up. Let's see if we can get some more good footage for the highlight reels."

Murmuring from everyone in the lounge room started to pick up as everyone got up and stretched, tossing their assorted empty snack food bags and cups of coffee into the trashcan near the door. The team spread out and began double checking all of the equipment, ready for Day 16.

by **Transalpine Republic** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 5:41 pm

Opinion: State of the Olympics
Baseton to be Remembered for Politics

Originally created to showcase world athletic ability, peace among nations, and international solidarity, these Olympics, in the opinion of many, have degenerated into a political morass, replete with a preachy opening ceremony, nations sniping at one another for real or perceived faults, political protest, and a mass exodus from the Closing Ceremony. Baseton probably has emerged into the public consciousness as what NOT to do with an Olympics - what happened to the original ideals of the Games's founders? Apparently they have fell to the wayside as the sporting events of these games have been given second fiddle to the political sideshow. A good chunk, if not the majority, of media coverage has been devoted to the boycotts of the Closing Ceremony and various political statements by seemingly each and every participating nation.

True, Transalpine Republic is not a paragon of good behavior in this regard. In fact, just yesterday, Transalpine Olympic chair Valentin Bernatt announced that the Transalpine delegation would not be required to attend the Olympic ceremony. Many of the athletes who will attend the Closing Ceremony, including flag-bearer Jorg Meyer, have indicated that they will wear pink in support of the Feministus Sanctusterra movement. This publication fully supports the decision of Transalpine Republic's delegation to make the Closing Ceremony optional; it also supports the athletes' decision to wear pink. Transalpine Republic has been a tolerant country for generations, ever since it was founded. To willfully ignore the plight of women's rights in Free Republics is to commit the same crime as the people who oppress those rights in the first place. It is a shame when any nation willfully denies its own people rights in order to fulfill its own sadistic agenda. It is even more of a shame when those nations are selected by the community to host a major athletic event. We fully support these athletes' actions to bring attention to a cause that needs to have more attention.

Meanwhile, the crowd has played into the incredibly intense partisan atmosphere. Free Republican spectators have booed Gregoryisgodistani and Electrumite competitors regularly, and they have been of course cheering on their own athletes. Maybe the crowd's involvement has been energizing the athletes; they particularly care about the results of the aforementioned three, and surprise, surprise, those three are on top of the medal table. Transalpine Republic, in fact, is the highest nation on the medal table that the crowd doesn't really care one way or the other for. We think that the crowd is probably disappointed at Electrum & Gregoryisgodistan's large amounts of medals, but they are surely excited about Free Republic's insurmountable lead, hailing it as a triumph for their religion. Everyone knew that Free Republics would play the religion card at the Olympics, but the international community was probably not ready for the overly religious Opening Ceremony, which drew overwhelming condemnation. The Olympics are not a stomping ground for religious conversion. While we did argue in support of the pink-band protest, there is one thing, and then there is another. Protesting an oppressive government is one thing; openly promoting your religion is quite another. There was a line, and the Free Republics totally crossed it.

To move from the political scene to the actual sporting events, these games have been both exciting and disappointing for the Transalpine delegation. On one hand, they did nearly double their medal count from last year; hopefully they will add at least one medal to make it exactly double. Transalpine Republic won several medals, including golds, in sports it has not won medals in, including bobsleigh, luge, freestyle skiing, and cross-country skiing. It also improved in snowboarding. However, there were quite a number of dark spots in Transalpine Republic's showing in Baseton. With nearly double the amount of medals, Transalpine Republic actually fell from second place to fourth place. Transalpine Republic did not defend a single one of its gold medals from last year, although Gunter Schlusser did come in a close second, actually the only defending champion to win any medal of any color so far. And even though Transalpine Republic did double its medal count, it only added one gold medal; all the growth came from silver and bronze medals. Transalpine Republic's traditional best discipline, the alpine skiing events, were also very disappointing, with only one good medal and four medals total.

Free Republics, meanwhile, is way ahead, with no way of anyone catching up, with nearly 40 medals. That could be chalked up, though, to the Host Effect. Almost all hosts have finished within the top five in medal count. In the Games before they hosted, they had very little medals; in the Games after they hosted, they also had very little medals. That says something about the state of power in the Olympics - it goes along somewhat of a roller coaster. In years that a nation hosts, it does very well, mostly because of an increase in funding as well as mediocre athletes doing well because of the hosting factor. However, after a new host for the next Olympics is elected, the previous host becomes somewhat complacent, thinking "hey, we are the best in the world, no need to fund our sports any longer!" That attitude has led to a lot of shock surprises as medal holders from host nations are knocked off the podium, likely by the next host nation's athletes.

Overall, the Baseton Olympics will probably be remembered for several things - the Free Republics' unusually high medal count, the intense partisan atmosphere, and the political cloud constantly surrounding the events. There might have been some good athletic achievements at these games, but they have been overshadowed by the ominous overtones of the politicization of the Olympics. The trend for the Olympics in recent memory has been politicization, and it probably can only get worse. To solve this problem, hosts should explicitly try to remove political overtones from their games and try to return them to their original goals and ideals - that of promotion of sport. It will probably take a lot of courage and a lot of effort, but in our opinion, it can be done, and hopefully, it will be done.

The Editorial Team

by **Free Republics** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:13 pm

Logo created by Yttribia

While the 16th day of the Winter Olympics is a little light in terms of the medals that will be awarded, tonight's events will set up a mad rush for medals over the final 3 days. Yes, there are just 4 days left of the X Winter Olympics and this is your cutoff!

by **Electrum** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:27 pm

Centralis Herald - Comment - Miranda Lawrence

Why liberties are important to me

As a self-styled conservative libertarian, a lot of things in Electrumite society disagrees with me. But I do not wish to interfere in another nation's issues. It is their national sovereignty, and they should be able to do what they please, irrespective of whether or not it is fair or whatever. In fact, the Greens Party of Vermark have taken upon themselves (wasting precious time I'm sure which could have been used in governance) trying to write a hastily scrawled message which denounced me. But I don't care at all what they think of me, not in the very least, being called ignorant (even though they linked greens policies to freedom) and other such nice messages. But this column is about something different - the eroding liberties in Greens-led governments.

First, a discussion of liberty. An anonymous scholar once said, "Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." And I agree. I am not a slave. And neither should you. You see, Greens Parties, and indeed, all parties on the left, want to control the economy, so that they can make it the most inefficient as possible. We should remember that the market mechanism always works, and that our hard earned taxes gets diverted to the government, when it could be done more cheaply, and more efficiently by private firms. Greens parties, however, add an extra element - the 'need to protect the environment.' And that's why they pretty much justify anything with that excuse - akin to fascists who want to restrict our daily lives by monitoring all our online activities for the sake of 'protecting us from terrorism.' You be the judge.

When the Greens Party of Vermark exhorts the use of a carbon tax, or that we shouldn't use coal, I nod my head in shame - because they are so economically illiterate. Millions of people around the world don't have access to the world's most expensive form of energy, clean energy. In fact, those impoverished have only one cheap way to create energy. Care to take a hint? That's right, coal. But they want to get rid of that, because it will 'hurt the environment'. I have only one thing to say to them, and although you may think to have science on your side, we are not omniscient. We don't know the true outcome of our future, and we never will. In saying that however, in the event that climate change does effect the environment, in a way that is harmful to the economy, then the marketplace will find a better, and more efficient way of doing things (yes, this includes green energy) to correct the imbalance. So we don't even need a Greens Party to tell us what to do, once we've dug a hole, we can find our own way out.

But they did have an interesting remark to offer, which was that, "If anything, our cause aids civil rights. How can people have freedom of speech if the air becomes toxic? Where will we exercise our freedom of assembly if there is no where that is hospitable to meet? How will the freedom of press endure when trees cease to exist." To be honest, those two lines made absolutely no sense of all. Aside from their rubbish examples, their main point was that they are not wanting to restrict our civil rights. Is this really true? They already sounded out that they want to restrict how mining operations operate, as well as stating that science is a fact. That right there is the irony - that you can't argue against them because it is a fact. Then, they go on to say that they aid civil rights. Simple and pure irony. The civil rights of those who own property (in mining areas or farming areas) are also eroded by these groups - you can't mine without doing this or that, and you certainly can't clear vegetation for your own farming purposes. You certainly may not have a gun with you at all times for self defense. With these people, it's always restricting the way we control our property and our rights as a direct result.

I wasn't always like this. It's fair to say that I was once young, and being young meant I always championed for the values of equality and activism. But when I grew older in age, and in wisdom, my world view change, as does everyone else (except for the Greens, who have never grown up). Having my income slashed by a hefty percentage was the final straw - and it was not pretty. I couldn't see why so much money was taken for so little value. I couldn't fathom seeing where my money was going, and I was sick and tired of the inefficiencies of governments who try to do to much, and who try to box us in. And that's the difference between people like me - and people like them.

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:07 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Mechanistic Results Regurgitation: Auer's disqualification attributed to fad diet

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 8:57 am

Medal Ceremony for Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered

"It is now time for the medal ceremony for Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered, the gold medalist and Olympic Champion in the men's individual large hill. Let's go live to Olympic Stadium where the medal ceremony will be held and turn it over to the PA Announcer."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the victory ceremony for the men's individual large hill."

The three medalists walk into Olympic Stadium and stand next to the podiums, but do not step up yet.

"Presenting the medals, Organizing Committee Chairman Samuel Izmailov."

Izmailov gets a huge cheer from the largely Republican crowd in attendance at Olympic Stadium.

"Bronze medalist, representing Valanora, Onónlas Dlardilinthir."

Dlardilinthird walks onto the medal podium and Izmailov places the medal around his neck, then shakes hands with him. Then the PA announcer continues.

"Silver medalist, representing Transalpine Republic, Samuel von Essen."

The few Transalpine fans in attendance cheer loudly, but most fans are either indifferent or politely cheer as von Essen steps onto the podium. Then Izmailov puts the medal around his neck and shakes hands with him. The PA announcer starts to continue, and almost as soon as he begins to speak, the boos ring out from all around Olympic Stadium.

"Gold medalist, and Olympic Champion, representing Gregoryisgodistan, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered."

The boos continue to ring out louder and louder, as do chants of "Gregory Is Not God" as well as of a forbidden word that starts with C and ends with T. (OOC: The word is "coconut" and if you thought it was something else, you should get your mind out of the gutter.) Izmailov then places the medal around the neck of Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered with a pained look on his face, as if wondering why he was forced to present this athlete with a gold medal when he could have been Consul of the entire country instead, and then pointedly refuses to shake hands with him even though Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered extended his first. The boos get louder. A few fans in the front rows noticed what Izmailov did and started chanting his name instead of booing, but they are mostly drowned out by the boos coming from the rest of the stadium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for the national anthem of Gregoryisgodistan."

Most of the fans in attendance do stand, if only so their boos can project farther. They then continue booing as Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory So I Set Saintland On Fire And Cheered attempts to sing the national anthem really loudly in an attempt to drown it out. It doesn't work. The national anthem is practically inaudible to the global TV audience, particularly since the Republicans in charge of the World Feed that was being shown throughout the world had decided to amplify the crowd mic for this particular medal ceremony. Although ordinarily Gregoryisgodistan State TV might have tried to hide this fact by dubbing cheers and applause, or at least a clean copy of the national anthem, over the audio feed they were receiving from Baseton, the government had made no attempt to hide the fact that their athletes were reviled by the Republicans at any point during the Olympic Games. It just served to fuel the hatred towards the Holy Republican Empire, and that served the Gregoryisgodistani government quite well. Besides, everyone in Gregoryisgodistan knew the Republicans hated them - if anything the state propaganda exaggerated this fact rather than toning it down. But there was no need to exaggerate the hatred tonight - no propaganda creator could have scripted this any better than it was already playing out.

Meanwhile the flags were being raised in the background, with the Red, Black, and Gold of the Gregoryisgodistani flag rising above the other two flags in honor of the gold medalist. This alone didn't particularly infuriate the Republicans as they were not too fond of the other two countries either, but the boos continued anyway throughout the national anthem. Finally, it ended and the PA announcer began to speak again, at which point the boos began to subside.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your Olympic medalists!"

All of the Olympic medalists stepped down from the podium and walked out of Olympic stadium. It was time for the next medal ceremony and no Gregoryisgodistani would be participating, so the Gregoryisgodistani feed cut back to the studio and eventually over to tape-delayed replay coverage of the men's parallel slalom qualifying for those who had missed it earlier in the day. The event saw all four Gregoryisgodistanis qualifying to the knockout rounds, including Youth 84UASBD in first place, though everyone knew standing in qualifying really didn't matter as long as you were Top 32. There was a potential for an all-Gregoryisgodistani matchup between Youth 84UASBD and Youth 88ADABFD in the Round of 16, but Youth 8234ASBDA and Youth 388ASHFBAFB could not face off until the semifianls and neither of them could face one of the other two until the final, so the potential for a podium sweep was there.

That event will be held today along with many other medal events. Gregoryisgodistan currently has two four-man bobsleigh sleds in the top 10, but none in medal position heading into the third and fourth runs. However, Pervert Chaser LDLSFSA9239, Slave Beater US8D8FVNNA, Plumber LCNNCN838283 and Horse Beater L39SA90LOL are just 0.01 seconds off the podium. Interestingly enough, they are only tied for fifth because there is also a tie for third at the moment. It is certainly sure to be a fun day as the Olympics winds down here in Baseton. Can Gregoryisgodistan take any more medals? You'll have to watch to find out.

by **Transalpine Republic** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:05 pm

Rumor Mill: Geneva to Bid for Olympics?
Bid to Include Environmental Features

Admittedly, this year's Olympics have perhaps been a disappointment for Transalpine fans; the team has so far not repeated the shining success of Transalpine Republic's debut on the Winter Olympic scene. However, the Ministry of Sports, Arts, and Culture may have an answer to that: the massive home support inherent to a successful bid for an Olympic Games. While nobody has publicly announced it yet, rumors are swirling around the Olympic Committee's headquarters in Valschloss of a possible Geneva bid for the XI Winter Olympics. While an Olympics might have strong public support, they are expensive, space-hogs, polluters, and venues that sometimes just sit around. We'll examine several of the features that the NationStates Olympic Committee has in mind for potential hosts and see whether a Geneva bid will be a a balloon that soars or a burst one.

Venues: Arguably some of the most important parts of an Olympic Games are the actual venues, in layman's terms the places where the Games will be held. There is a small problem, however - Geneva would have to build at least two stadiums - one for speed skating and one for figure skating and short track speed skating. Depending on the demand as well, the current Stade de Geneve, with about 30,000 spectator seats, might not be adequate to hold Opening and Closing Ceremonies. Alpine skiing, freestyle skiing, snowboarding, biathlon, cross-country skiing, and all the other events that actually need snow to hold the events will take place at the Grande Massif ski resort, only a train ride away from Geneva. Venues at Grande Massif would be slightly upgraded to handle the incoming visitors, as well as the addition of a new sliding track. Several ice hockey matches would take place at the 7,000-seat Patinoire des Vernets, while curling would take place at the nearby Tivoli Curling Center. If the Stade de Geneve is determined to be too small, then a totally new stadium will be built on a patch of land just across the Rhone from Vernier, according to city officials, who do not wish to be named because they were not authorized to speak to the press. Geneva's planned new hockey stadium, to seat 20,000, will be built there as well, regardless of whether the Games are approved. Both of the speed skating and figure/short track stadiums would also be built in this area, as would the Olympic Village. In short, venues would be divided into the three clusters - Vernier, Tivoli, and Grande Massif. These plans seem to be adequate and probably would not cost too much money. Grade: A

Transportation: Geneva International Airport may not be adequate for a full scale international event. However, totally new facilities would probably not be necessary - a second Terminal has already been built, although it would need a large amount of refurbishment in order to be suitable for an Olympic Games. The new site would need to be integrated with the Geneva public transport network, which shouldn't take too much expense. Patinoire des Vernets is already hooked up, and the Grand Massif is about 45 minutes away by train. Purchase of new rolling stop and special Olympic trains, however, would probably reduce the time to around 25 minutes. Geneva's public transport is generally good and will probably be able to handle the influx of passengers. However, some investment still needs to be made in order to get Geneva totally ready for an Olympic Games. Grade: B-

Lodging, Ambiance, Environment, Legacy & Public Support: Plans for an Olympic Village are adequate. The larger delegations would have their own "houses", while smaller delegations would be put together in houses. Designers have indicated that they will make a large gardens and promenade through the Olympic Village so that it is especially pretty for the Olympics, and the designers have also indicated a neoclassical look. Due to Geneva's center as an international destination, the amount of hotels, especially four-star and five-star hotels that visiting dignitaries especially love. Parks and museums are abundant as part of the city's reputation as a fine arts center. Geneva loves its sport and popular support for a bid is high, both in Geneva as well as in Transalpine Republic. The venues and Olympic Village have been designed to have a minimal environmental impact, designed to be as efficient as possible. The Olympic Village's roof will also be covered with solar panels. For the legacy plan, the main Olympic stadium would be transformed into a soccer stadium, and the skating stadiums built would probably be downsized a little but remain in their original purpose. The Olympic Village would remain as low-cost housing. In this category, possible organizers have all the good cards in their hand. Grade: A

Hosting Experience: Transalpine Republic, unfortunately, has no experience hosting any major sporting events of any kind. However, this will probably change before the Olympics come to Geneva. The Grand Massif and Chateau d'Oex ski resorts have been submitted for approval to become part of the Alpine Skiing World Cup circuit, and the Stade Olympique will be submitted for consideration for the next World Cup of Hockey, which Transalpine Republic is participating in. If these fall through, though, Transalpine Republic could be left holding the bag without any history or experience hosting multi-sport or winter events necessary for holding an Olympic Games. This section of the bid definitely needs some work before it can be submitted to the Olympic Council. Grade: C

Overall Assessment: This paper believes that Transalpine Republic, and Geneva in particular, have a lot of things going for a successful Olympic plan. Geneva has good venue plans, good transportation plans, and good lodging and environmental concerns. Although this paper is worried about the smallish international airport and lack of hosting experience, this paper believes that these things can be rectified before the Games. The bid appears to have good public support. It is obvious that the planners of a Genevan Olympic bid, if they were to make a bid, have planned their event very well and have set it up for success. Transalpine Republic has a strong tradition of winter sports and it would continue its tradition with a successful bid for the Olympic Games. This paper believes that Geneva is capable to host the Olympics and that a bid would be a success if it were to be launched. It would be a soaring achievement for the Transalpine people.

by **Free Republics** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:10 pm

Logo created by Yttribia

While there are just 3 days remaining in the X Winter Olympics, these 3 days are jam-packed with medals that will be awarded to the best athletes. Who will leave with medals? Who will be left empty-handed? Find out tonight, after the cutoff for Day 17 of the X Winter Olympics!

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 10:04 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Mechanistic Results Regurgitation: von Bärberg grasps gold at second attempt

by **Electrum** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:51 am

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Jane McNamara

Finish line in sight in Electrum's most successful Olympics to date

After a depressingly slow start to the X Winter Olympics, in which we won five silver medals in a row before capturing a gold, it seems that Electrum's fortunes have turned around to become one of Electrum's most successful Olympics. There isn't any one singular factor which is the cause for the sudden resurgence, but rather a combination of factors which have led to this development. It was a short time ago when we debuted in City Centre, Liventia, where we won two bronze medals and a silver medal - heralded as an achievement by all Electrumites. Then, our next Olympics were in Saugeais, where only won a singular medal in the last day of competition - it was truly terrible, and something had to be done. By that point, funding for the Institute of Sports went directly to the Summer Sports program, and as a result, the Winter Sports program collapsed from their mediocre results from City Centre.

But things turned around in the Kytlerian Summer Olympics. It was a renaissance - a new revival - an inconceivable 13 gold medals, 12 silver, 11 bronze. Nothing of this caliber had been achieved before, and Electrum found itself in the top ten. Now, we have 11 gold and silver, and 12 bronze, which is mighty impressive given the smaller pool of events which are available in the Winter Olympics. Objectively speaking, this is our best performance to date in any Olympics, as we are sitting in second place behind the hosts, the Holy Republican Empire. For a while, it seemed like we were going to topple them in the rankings, but that hasn't happened, but still, second place is an achievement which shouldn't be laughed at.

We beat seasoned competitors such as the Transalpine Republic, Kelssek, Gregoryisgodistan, Saugeais, who have always done so very well in these games. But why the sudden turn around? Just how did Electrum become an Olympic powerhouse? It seems that our obsession for all sports obscure and unique might be a factor in that. We do extremely well in little-known sports (relatively speaking), like Equestrian, Fencing, Sailing, Taekwondo in the Summer, and Figure Skating, Cross-Country Skiing and Skeleton in the Winter. These oft-forgotten sports generally receive little attention from the multiversal's NOCs, because they are seen as joke sports, or sports with little relevance. That's where we excel in the most, and we generate Olympic Champions in that way. We aren't that good in 'mainstream' sports, and that's what makes Electrum so unique in the multiverse.

Another factor, which I've been hinting about in this article is the establishment of the Institute of Sports. Former Sporting Minister Ben Stein (and then under the watchful eye of deposed Minister Hughes, which was exposed in a CoH bribing scandal), established the Institute of Fitness, Sports and Well-Being (IFSWB), far back during the Liventian games. Now, under the singular name of Institute of Sports, it is a powerhouse in Electrum, giving much needed funding, support, coaching and other support staff for all athletes in Electrum. It is truly remarkable the difference a couple of years can make, and this has certainly been an instrumental factor in our great success. A ski resort and training facility was recently completed in Prescott, near Mt. Picana, and an upgraded athletics arena in Centralis. We have participated in more sports than ever before - the Fencing Grand Prix is an example of that. We must note however, with great success comes complacency, and it will be interesting to see how Electrum will fair in the next Summer games.

Another reason why we've been doing so well in these Olympic Games more specifically is the energy that is been exuded by the team. It's an atmosphere never before seen before, a passionate, rowdy crowd always against you. They have fired up our athletes like nothing else, and when they are put under the pump, it's those that can stand up and convert all of that negative energy into positive which really makes our athletes stand out. Sure, some athletes might miss out, heck, we've come 4th for countless number of times in the team events, but my point still stands - no matter what the Republicans do, their atmosphere is conducive to us doing well. It's something in the air, and maybe it's our athletes wanting to win, just so they can rub it in and wear pink. I don't know, but the atmosphere is certainly working.

But the best reason? Why, us truly, the Centralis Herald. Us and Network ENN have worked tirelessly to provide round-the-clock coverage of the Olympics, so that we can make sure you are sick of the Olympics. There's nothing like replaying matches and reliving our best moments over and over. This gives our athletes incentives to do well, so that they can ensure that they will never be forgotten as just another person, but instead reap the glory that is media attention. With countless interviews, stories, exclusives, and then soon, a Wikipedia article, they can make their mark on the world in ways that have never been done before. Getting the gold medal is not only an unforgettable moment for the athletes themselves, but also for us, and our national pride. Our hearts swell and flutter at the sight of our athletes, and if they want to be remembered in the future, then they're going to have to bring home a swag of medals for us to drool over. There's no greater incentive than attention, that's for sure.

We still haven't finished the Olympics yet. We're getting there. There are two days left of this festival of sports, and there are still some great medal chances. We can get gold in the Men's Curling, and both the Women's and Men's Team Pursuit for speed skating, we are reaching our final events for snowboarding, and we may tempt fate with the Biathlon, Ski Jumping and Bobsleigh. Everything's still up in the air, but we are already guaranteed a medal in three different events, which will mean that we probably will beat our Kytler Peninsulae record of having the most amount of medals, a feat in the Winter Olympics. We're in second place in the medal tally, let's hope it stays that way, and may we enjoy continued success in the Olympics.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 8:42 am

Olympics Day 17 Roundup

It was a glorious and holy day for the athletes representing the Glorious and Holy Nation of Gregoryisgodistan at the X Winter Olympics. Gregoryisgodistan won several medals in several events, and the Gregoryisgodistani flag was raised in Olympic Stadium as thousands booed. There are only two more days until the conclusion of the Olympic Games, so let's get right to the action.

In the women's 4x6 relay biathlon, Lady Soldier KLAMARAMA/Lady Soldier PORKEUDA/Lady Soldier UWIUNFNA/Lady Soldier 8238913884 finished 12th of 27 athletes, a disappointing finish for the medal hopefuls. Biathlon is Gregoryisgodistan's best sport due to the large number of soldiers, executioners, and assassins who know how to shoot guns. They are not as good at the skiing part, but the shooting part is immaculate. They are among the greatest shooters of any biathlete, ever.

In the four-man bobsleigh, Executioner UKSADK1939/Slave Catcher I388SADSADKAK/Horse Beater BBBKKK399/Fisherman VVVSMADM finished in fifth place, 0.29 seconds off the lead, while Pervert Chaser LDLSFSA9239/Slave Beater US8D8FVNNA/Plumber LCNNCN838283/Horse Beater L39SA90LOL finished in 12th place and Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Peter Peters/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Derek Ruberson/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Death to the Holy Republican Empire And All Its Inhabitants/Death to Saintland And King Petrus finished in 31st place. Gregoryisgodistan, once again, nearly won a medal but failed to do so. A large number of their athletes have come in fourth or fifth place, so many as to possibly be a Republican conspiracy. It is very unfortunate that the Republicans would play dirty tricks like that, but this is why they are on the Enemy List. The Enemy List is for the worst enemies, the biggest heathens. It proclaims death to the enemies, and Republicans are enemies. So Death to the Republicans!

It was an even more glorious day in the women's ski cross, as Slave MASDUU48 won the silver medal, finishing in second place in the final. It was Gregoryisgodistan's second ski cross medal of the games, also winning a medal in the men's ski cross earlier. It is unclear whether Slave MASDUU48 will be liberated as the result of her medal, but she will certainly be proud when she returns home to her master, if she indeed must report to her master. Slave MASDUU48 after the event expressed great pride, saying "I am very proud and honored to have won the silver medal in the women's ski cross. I am proud to have represented Gregoryisgodistan at these Olympic Games and on this momentous day I have taken the silver medal. I only wish it were gold, but I'll take what I can and this is a true victory for all of Gregoryisgodistan. All praise Lord Almighty Gregory and my master!"

In the women's team large hill ski jumping, the team of Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Maria Polus Is Dead/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory The Woman Claiming To Be Her Is An Impostor/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Let's Kill Her Anyway/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Because She's a Nun took silver with an overall combined score across two jumps of 1069.4. After receiving a lot of booing due to their deliberately insulting names threatening the woman impersonating the now-dead Maria Polus, they managed to pull off a silver medal with a lot of strong jumps. They then burned an effigy of Sister Maria Polus in front of all the fans and bowed to a statue of Lord Almighty Gregory. It was a glorious day for them and for all of Gregoryisgodistan and the Maria Polus-hating world. Maria Polus has now received yet another insult. Surely the impostor woman will make another video decrying these athletes, but now the whole world knows she is an impostor and will hopefully kill her as well. Gregoryisgodistan will assist any nation who wishes to kill the impostor. She must die.

Finally, in the men's parallel giant slalom, Youth 388ASHFBAFB won Gregoryisgodistan's third medal of the day, also a silver, losing to Wolfgang von Barbeg of Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland by 0.44 seconds in the final. After the event, Youth 388ASHFBAFB said "I am proud and honored to have earned Gregoryisgodistan a medal on such a large stage. This is now yet another silver medal for Gregoryisgodistan. It is a shame it could not be gold so "Gregory, Gregory, Lord Almighty" would echo out throughout Olympic Stadium, but a silver is good too. I appreciate the opportunity to compete for this medal and thank Lord Almighty Gregory every waking moment."

Today, the biathlon men's 4x7.5 km relay will be held, where Gregoryisgodistan has an excellent chance of medaling. The four-woman bobsleigh will also get underway, but no medals will be awarded yet. There will also be the women's 10 km freestyle cross-country, the men's team large hill ski jumping, the women's parallel slalom snowboard qualifying, and the women's 5000 m speed skating final. There will also be a final in the team pursuit, which Gregoryisgodistan is not in, and bronze medal finals in curling and ice hockey, neither of which Gregoryisgodistan is in. The much-anticipated gold medal final in men's ice hockey against Vermark will be tomorrow. You can watch it all live on Sports TV and the overflow channels.

by **Transalpine Republic** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:25 pm

This story is called From Timbuktu We Go. Since it's the beginning few parts, I don't think I have to explain anything.

“Strike now,” the Tuareg leader called to his men. With screams of might, the trained warriors lept into the night sky. The camel caravan would be at his mercy, he thought. Trained savagery was the way of life for this motley band of misfits. Stealing and robbing were forced upon them by angry creditors and lack of work. In this downturn, there was no other way to earn a living.
Startled cries emanated from the surprised caravan. Tajer al’Enbeyl cursed at his rotten luck. “Why should this happen to me?” he thought. Making your way through the hot desert with just camels carrying your load is hard work, especially if you want to earn your living doing it. These Tuareg raiders only added to his growing list of problems. When he started out from Timbuktu to the salt mines of Taoudenni, his camels were not only burdened with the heavy loads they carried but also with debt. Maybe winning a favor from Mansa Musa, the ruler of Mali, would be the only way out of this mess.
The trip to Taoudenni was something that had been passed down in his family for ages. His father had gone on the same trip with the same (or mostly the same) camels, and his grandfather before that. The caravan brought him strength. It brought him wealth (most of the time). It brought him awareness. And it brought him knowledge.
His problems began when his storehouse was robbed to the bone. All of his precious gold and spices were stolen. To make the trip to Taoudenni, he had to borrow heavily to finance it. When the thief of good luck showed up again, his camels died of lack of water in a drought. More money flowed into the hands of the moneylender.
He shook his head, sighing to himself. When he got back, he might as well just head into the slave market and sell himself. This burden of debt was just too much. The camels were already tired and thirsty, and more debt piling on top of them would only break them.

The bustling sounds of the market carried through the window into Mansa Musa’s throne room, where the Emperor of Mali’s court was in session.
“... Your Majesty, I can assure you that the trade routes need more protection! Just this week, a caravan headed to Taoudenni was raided and its cargo made off with,” the royal official in charge of trade intoned. “ I ask you to just increase the protection to five camel archers and 500 foot soldiers from only two camel archers and 300 soldiers. These caravans are falling like chicken meal falls from the fingers of the farm hand. They are just too vulnerable.”
“I see your point,” Mansa Musa said. “But that would just be too expensive.”
“Your Majesty, what you lose in protection fees, you gain in increased taxes from the increased trade that comes from within our borders.”
“Alright, I suppose I could they could use more protection. “
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Mansa Musa had been Emperor of Mali for 15 years, and in that time he had been known for his sense of justice and fairness. In the time after he was crowned emperor in 1307, he had quickly gotten to work. He consolidated the various peoples of the Malian Empire into one streamlined state divided into provinces. The camel caravans prospered as the population of Mali grew. In 1318 he had converted to Islam, and he was aching to make a pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca like his religion required. With the increased convoy protection, it looked that that dream might actually be possible. “I must organize a trip to Mecca as soon as I can,” he said to himself. “Work will begin right away.”

“Necklaces for your precious one, right here!” “Buy your fresh fruit, right here!” “Salt!Salt!Salt! Get your salt!” With all the proprietors hawking their wares, it was hard to discern the sound of the muezzin calling for prayer. Although the devout heard it and bent down in the direction of Mecca, others continued ignorantly.
“Ahallu Akbar,” rang the sounds of prayer of those who were willing. Tajer al’Enbeyl counted himself as one of them. Anyways, if he wasn’t, he didn't have time not to pray. The divine guidance and favor of Allah was what he needed to get out of his debt mess. He unbent himself and continued along his way when he was finished. The salt shop was next on his list.

“Thank Allah that most of my good was not stolen on the way back,” he said to the salt shop owner.
“Thank Allah indeed,” the proprietor replied back. “Now, I can give you the best price for your salt. 100 kilos of salt, 110 kilos of gold.”
“That’s an outrage! With all of the troubles I went through, I deserve 150 kilos or 150,000 dinars! My debt to go on this trip is just too much!
“Well, you know what my policy is, al’Enbeyl.”
“Your policy sucks. I’ll just go somewhere else then if you don’t give me a good price!
“Okay, okay! I am willing to give you 120,000 dinars and 19.3 kilos of gold. “
“So that would be 139,300 dinars.”
“Yes.”
“I want 145,000 dinars to cover my costs.”
“That won’t do. I’ll give you 140,000 dinars.
“142,500 or nothing. That’s my final offer. “
“I’ll give you 140,000 dinars and 2 kilos of gold. “
“Okay, I guess that will do.”
“Hand over the salt,” the proprietor demanded.
“Hand over the gold,” al’Enbeyl retorted.
The exchange happened at once. The feuding proprietor and the indebted trader handed over their goods and stared at each other in silence. Tajer snorted. The proprietor snorted back. It was a standoff over salt and gold. It was over indebtedness and trouble. It was over mutual enmity. Having completed their transaction, the trader left. The proprietor started hawking his salt again. All was normal.

The 14th century mall was centered on the main street of Timbuktu. The market was a big place, and stands and shops were covered by awnings of every size and color. It was a loud and boisterous place. One could only wish to hear the sound of his own voice above the cacophony and clamor of bargaining, hawking, and idle chatter. Golden pinstripes covered All Best Spiced Nuts. The aroma simmering inside was delectable, and one could not carry on without buying some. Across from it was the bright red of Rubies Best Fine Jewelry. The quality was good, but it was so expensive only merchants whose camels didn’t die and their goods not stolen could afford it. The orange polka-dotted banner of Oranges, Dates, and Best Fruits Galore. It was a haven for the foodie and the chef. Rumor had it that Mansa Musa himself used their produce in the palace. Brown and maroon graced Best Smelling Incense and Spice. Temples and mosques clamored for its products. No one could refuse spices.
The awning of Best Herbs for your Potions was a sparkling green. It sold only the best, like all shops in the market. Its offerings, however good they smelled, were green and slimy. They only appealed to witches and magicians. The light brown awning of Best Quality Cotton Sacks was ahead. The sacks sold by the proprietor there were of good quality, a fact the shop’s name chose to advertise. All Finest Colors Persian Rugs Shop sold the best quality Persian rugs around. They were, however, quite expensive. It was fitting for being shipped in all of the way from Persia.
Tajer looked over his purchases: a potpourri of peanuts, a selection of sacks, a full bag of fruit, some delicious dates, and a substantial purchase of spices. The market was a big place, he thought, and it was hard to get all that you want, especially with a budget of 400 dinars. The rest of his meager pay for his salt would go toward his purchases of gold and camels.
The cloppity-clop-clop of camel’s hooves rang through the street as a caravan passed by. Mixed hubbub always rang throughout the market, and today was nothing special. However, something called to Tajer’s attention. The town crier was calling out “...Mecca! Mansa Musa is making a pilgrimage to Mecca! Come if you want! Great reward for great service!”

by **Free Republics** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:47 pm

Logo created by Yttribia

Today is the penultimate day of the X Winter Olympics. Is the Holy Republican medal lead insurmountable? Who will finish 3rd in the medal table? Who will win the medals on the line today? Who will set themselves up for medal contention on the final day? You'll find out soon... Its the Cutoff for the 18th Day of the X Winter Olympics!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:55 am

Gregoryisgodistan Olympic Roundup: Day 18

It was a glorious day once again for Gregoryisgodistan, winning numerous medals on the snow and ice, as the Olympics reached its penultimate day.

In the first event of the day, the men's 4x7.5 km biathlon, the team of Soldier PSDF884/Soldier 3929DF/Soldier 48DFSDFN/Soldier 834JAF took silver with a time of 1:21:46.6. It was Gregoryisgodistan's third medal in biathlon at these Olympic Games. After the race, Soldier 834JAF said "I am proud to be on the winning team. We have won yet another medal for Gregoryigodistan. We are truly a Glorious and Holy Nation. I would like to thank Lord Almighty Gregory for giving me the opportunity to live and compete, and Military SuperGeneral Furby Ormon for training me in gun usage so I knew how to shoot. And also my mama for teaching me how to ski. I made you proud today mama. I know it was an honor for you to have been ritually sacrificed 8 years ago, but I still miss you. One day, perhaps I will be selected for ritual sacrifice duty and we will be together again in the Land of Eternal Reward. May it be the will of Lord Almighty Gregory.

Meanwhile, in the four woman bobsleigh, Slave LPAP239949/Slave 1482385/Slave 04832858325/Slave 238943295 currently sit in seventh through two runs, while Slave 9325825/Slave 024832/Slave 28432/Slave 38523985 are in 10th. It will take a long shot for either of them to win medals at this point, but it's certainly possible. However, the team of Slave 384385DF/History Teacher 3249325LSDF84/Doctor 8348DFSDF/Retiree 923DA did not finish their first run and were eliminated immediately. It was very sad.

In cross country skiing, in the women's 10 km freestyle, Slave Catcher YYUU8884ABFA finished in the bronze medal position with a time of 25:35.7, Gregoryisgodistan's second cross-country medal of the Games. Both of them have been bronze. Lady Soldier DAIRYCOW won a bronze earlier in the Games in the 15 m skiathlon. Slave Catcher YYUU8884ABFA was excited to have won the bronze, saying "Today is the most glorious day of my life. Praise Lord Almighty Gregory, I have achieved one of my two lifelong dreams - winning an Olympic medal. Lord Almighty Gregory willing, I will achieve my other dream, which is to win Slave Catcher of the Year by catching more slaves than any other Slave Catcher. I am currently second in the standings, having caught 49 slaves this year. (OOC: The Gregoryisgodistani Year begins in June, so this statistic is from June of 2014 to the present based on most calendars.) The leader has 54. I can still catch him. I would be the first female Slave Catcher of the Year in 43 years apparently. It would show the Sanctii that women can catch slaves just as well as men and be a victory for gender equality. Unfortunately, Saintland is stupid and bans slavery, but if it didn't, it would be sexist for not employing female slave catchers. They should do so at once." Slave Catcher 388SADNANFNASF came in 7th, while Slave Catcher 88USAFNASFN came in 28th.

In the men's ski jumping team large hill, the team of Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory That Petrus Is Evil/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory That Petrus Is Dumb/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory That Petrus Has A Smelly Bum/Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory But Worst Of All He Thinks Eye-Ee-Zus Is God came in fifth in spite of having the best combined score on any single jump that night, 563.8. This is because of a poor combined score on the first jump, where they totaled just 498.4. Most of this was because Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory That Petrus Has A Smelly Bum only scored a 97.8, bringing the whole team down. This was very unfortunate for him as it cost the entire team a medal. However, since the team was never expected to win a medal to begin with, and still finished better than expected, Lord Almighty Gregory announced that Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory That Petrus Has A Smelly Bum would not face any consequences such as execution for shaming the nation.

In the women's parallel slalom qualifying, Youth 49959ADHAS, Youth 923498ASHDH, Youth 92499999, and Youth 488Q48HAD all qualified for the Round of 32. That will be held today, the final day of the Olympic Games.

In the women's speed skating 5000 m, Gregoryisgodistan won their third and final medal of the day, but it wasn't the medal favorite Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory King Petrus Must Be Impaled In The Town Square, who remarkably failed to win a medal in any of her five events these Olympic Games. She finished 24th here. Rather, it was the largely unheralded Slave IIZIZI81288A, who won the bronze with a time of 6:52.29. To give you a sense of how improbable this was, Slave IIZIZI81288A was considered a contender to win an unmedal - in other words to finish in the bottom three. She even had a chance to win the gold unmedal by posting the worst time. Instead, she won the bronze medal, the real bronze medal. She may or may not be liberated.

Gregoryisgodistan now has 29 medals, the third highest total, but due to Republican bias is behind Kelsek and The Kytler Peninsulae, who have 21 and 15 medals respectively, because those two have more gold medals - 8 compared to 7 for Gregoryisgodistan. However, Gregoryisgodistan has a very good chance to win their 8th gold medal today when the Ice Slaves men's ice hockey team take on Vermark in the gold medal match. That is sure to be a fun match to watch. Also today will be the final two runs of the women's bobsleigh, the men's 15 km freestyle cross-country, and the women's parallel slalom snowboarding. There will also be the team pursuit finals in speed skating, but Gregoryisgodistan is eliminated from that already.

Lord Almighty Gregory Proclaims Gold Medal Match "Must-See TV"

Lord Almighty Gregory has declared the gold medal ice hockey match against Vermark "Must-See TV." Everyone in Gregoryisgodistan will be required to watch it. Even police officers will be required to watch it rather than enforce the order. The spy cameras in everyone's house will be used to make sure everyone is watching the game and will be checked following the game. Anyone who is found to have not watched the game in its entirety will be killed along with their family. They cannot even get up to use the bathroom, although they may use the bathroom during timeouts or at intermission as long as they are back before action resumes. Even if your house is on fire or you are having a heart attack, you must finish watching the game before seeking help. Not that you could do otherwise - all the firemen and doctors must watch the game too. It is permissible to eat prune juice or gruel in front of the TV if you get hungry, though you can only go get it during timeouts or intermission so maybe you should get some before the game starts.

In the words of Lord Almighty Gregory, "Our ice hockey team is the best in the multiverse. To go and win a gold medal in front of a heathen Republican crowd, then join in singing "Gregory, Gregory, Lord Almighty" in front of them at the closing ceremony, would be truly remarkable. It would be an amazing feat. The whole world needs to see it. The whole country needs to see it. We are going to win gold. Mark my words. I am the Lord Your God. I say we are going to win gold, so we will. This will be a great day for Gregoryisgodistan. And you must see it or you will die, along with your family. Don't try not to."

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