Watterson Bowl III - Everything Thread

by **Jeckland** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:09 am

WATTERSON BOWL III

OOC Discussion Thread | Signup Thread | Host Bid | Rankings | Calvin and Hobbes Wiki on Calvinball | Calvinball Rules

A warm welcome to Jeckland for the thrid Watterson Bowl! This is the thread for rosters and RPs, and also where I will post the results and next day's scorination details. There will be a live draw of the groups on IRC on Tuesday the 12th at 20:00 BST. The channel will be announced at a later time. A tournament schedule is given below, this is subject to change and I will endeavour to inform you if this is likely to happen. Please note that this schedule is for a tournament with 2 groups of 7.

Saturday 16th August: MD1
17th: MD2
18th: MD3
19th: MD4
20th: MD5
21st: MD6
22nd: Off Day
23rd: Quarter Finals
24th: Semi Finals
25th: 3PPO
26th: Watterson Bowl III Final

Group A
Jeckland (=9)
New Wolfopolis (5)
Barunia (7)
Patistan (UR)
Venetsiya (UR)
North Britionisea (UR)
Coconut Isle (UR)

Group B
Super-Llamaland (1)
San Jose Guayabal (2)
Nassau-Hessen (12)
The Sarian (UR)
Some Village (UR)
Britionisea (UR)
Jachaelter (UR)

The pots for the group draw are behind this spoiler.

Alright then, how do I RP this?
Well.... this is a bit different from other sports. I'd recommend reading the rules linked earlier on. In the OOC Thread you'll find a link to the first two tournament, which should give you a rough idea of what you're doing here.

Can't you explain it here?
Alright.....

Okay, so how do I write a roster for this thing?
Ummm... however you like. There is no definitive team size or anything like that. You could have a squad of 1000 armed military personnel, or a lone sheep. It's up to you. Rosters are to be graded on a fluid scale, so be creative.

What about RP Permissions?
You can have them if you really want to, but this is Calvinball, where everything is crazy and nothing make actual sense, so most teams go without them.

And how exactly does scorination and the such work?
Well, there are three disciplines in each match. Each one is scorinated a different way, and given a different multiplier (which will addd up to 10). At the end we add them all up, stick a consonant on the end (which means nothing), and there's your score.

I still don't get it.... can you give an example?
Sure!

For this example match, the scores are generated as follows
5x football (soccer) : Points given for eating banana peels whilst being submerged in custard
3x lacrosse: Points given for bedazzling the Calvinball
2x rugby: Point given for playing The Crazy Frog using only a shovel and a tin of baked beans

So the scores might be this:
Football: Team A 2-1 Team B
Lacrosse: Team A 5-10 Team B
Rugby: Team A 20-10 Team B

Team A's score= 10 (5x2) + 15 (3x5) + 40 (20x2) - 65
Team B's score= 5 (5x1) + 30 (3x10) + 20 (10x2) - 55

So the final score is Team A 65(consonant) - 55(consonant) Team B

Oh now I get it, but I have another question that has not been answered in this schtzophrenic OP.
Ask it in the Calvinball Discussion Thread, or contact me via TG, IRC and any other means you can.

Best of luck!

by **Jeckland** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:10 am

Jeckland is a large nation located in Esportiva. It is a democracy, currently led by Jeck Hitchkin, and it’s government is centre-right. The population of Jeckland is around 100 million.
Calvinball is not massively popular in Jeckland, meaning the Jeckish Calvinball Board (JCB) would be unable to hire proper venues for the event. Fortunately, they were given a massive grant owing to them winning hosting rights for this tournament. Unfortunately, they spent it all on a 25m tall platinum statue of Larry, the Jeckish teams star Calvinball player. There was a crisis in the JCB, meaning the tournament was delayed, until they eventually found a recently abandoned field formerly used for football training, split into six areas for each age group from U9 to U14.

by **Jeckland** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:10 am

Jeckland Roster for Watterson Bowl III

The team are still using the destroyer method, but now have 15 destroyers and Larry. Each destroyer is specialised in one thing other than breaking stuff, which is listed below.

Destroyer #1 - Plays Kazoo
Destroyer #2 - Tapdances
Destroyer #3 - Cooks Jeckish Chicken
Destroyer #4 - Rides Animals
Destroyer #5 - Tickles Things
Destroyer #6 - Uses Binoculars
Destroyer #7 - Toasts Marshmallows
Destroyer #8 - Hula Hoops
Destroyer #9 - Tightrope Walks
Destroyer #10 - Waving a Hanky
Destroyer #11 - Rolling Down a Hill
Destroyer #12 - Eating Meat
Destroyer #13 - Charging
Destroyer #14 - Lifting Things
Destroyer #15 - Being Hopeless
Larry - Being the Greatest.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 6:52 am

SUPER-LLAMALAND REDUNDANT REDUNDANT LLIGERS: Watterson Bowl Squad

Finishes:
WB I: Champions (9-0)
WB II: Second Place (5-2)

Players, Managers, and Others somewhat related

Dictator-For-Life and Chief Cartographer: Allen Byrdensky

Although his rule can be a bit rough, Allen Brydensky is not only the best dictator-for-life in Llamanean Calvinball History, he is the only dictator-for-life in Llamanean Calvinball History. Brydensky is an excellent cartographer with above-average pogo-stick skills.

Grand Poobah of the Holy Baseball Bat: Justin Bryant

The baseball bat, a black maple thing that was supposedly used by Jake Earnest that one time, was found in a garbage bin, and Bryant quickly became its best devotee. The team agreed that the formerly exiled- and jailed- team member should become the holy poobah of the baseball bat, which is useful for whacking people.

Vice Dictator-For-Life: August Fitzgerald

Great at sniffing out plots to splash the team with water balloons. Fitzgerald does plenty of splashing himself with the many water balloons he holds in his trademarked Bottomless Pockets that are, in fact, bottomless.

Official Coder and Cartographer: Tyler Morrison

Morrison can break codes with the best of them. He famously decoded the "Random series of letters, numbers, and other random things and places code" where A is 244,593 J-Daffodil, B is 650,123 R-Nicaragua, and so on. He decoded this in one second, although it is suspected that he was told beforehand.

Chief of Playing Instruments: Dennis Cartel

Fantastic at playing every instrument except for the didgeridoo. Seriously. DO NOT EVER LET HIM PLAY THE DIDGERIDOO. The fires last time he played were awesome, but eight attempted suicides can't be good.

Fetcher: Tigerbot 7.0

After Tigerbot 6.0.1 began teleporting into midair and falling back down after somebody splashed him with champagne after a vital win, Calvinball Inc. was bought out by OuranosTech, who managed to produce something competent. Just no champagne this time and Tigerbot will work out just fine.

Super-Secret-Sub: Jeremy Lewis

Finch was no longer a secret weapon, so they brought in his twenty-third cousin. Lewis does not appear any other version of this roster than the official one.

Muskrat: Billy Fennel

Fennel is good at pretending to be a muskrat. VERY good. He doesn't do anything else but after his release from the mental ward, he's exceptionally good at it. In fact, he thinks he is a muskrat, which probably aids the deception - the most important thing in learning to pretend muskrat is CONFIDENCE.

by **The Sarian** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 7:06 am

The Sarian Calvinball "Team"

Knowing not many people would sign up for a competition they knew very little about, The Sarian Sports Office faced a difficult choice - trick people into signing up, or send a herd of sheep. Eventually, the former won out, and an ad offering people a "unique and exciting international sporting experience", the public thinking it was a footballing thing, or at worst The Sarian had entered another Basketball competition, signed up in droves and the twenty were chosen at random to represent The Sarian.

The Team

Males
Origenes Herriot
Neofytos Große
Shmuel Duncanson
Winton Sangster
Adrian Whittemore
Géraud Toft
Tadeo Leitzke
Jacob Holt
Junior Assenberg
Philip Amundsen

Females
Maja Caiazzo
Ana Auteberry
Athanasia Aafjes
Yemima Collingwood
Guiomar Holme
Æbbe Morris
Félicité Harford
Paula Notoriano
Ashlea Atterberry
Jessie Mathieson

RP Permissions: Do whatever you like puterning to the team, any out of team things, TG me.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:28 am

The Eye of the Lliger

U wot m8?

That's what the fans were saying as the Purple Lligers trudged off Alargefloatingcactus Stadium, utterly trounced by the firepower of Yaoi Indiana. Led by the firepower of William Tough-Enough and his dentures, the Certified Chick Repellents beat the Lligers 80m-76k following a nightmare fifth quarter.

Certainly, it's what the fans were saying when the team roster came out, featuring neither the quiet brilliance of Ronaldo Finch, who retired at the age of thirty-six, nor the flashy play and repeated suspensions of Jonah Harbinger, who was left off the team at twenty-five. Instead, Dictator-for-life Allen Byrdensky's selections of three new players, none of which, contrary to rumors, were the legendary Jacob Harris, but instead a revamped robot, a mental patient, and Finch's twenty-third cousin, the fans were in uproar, calling for August Fitzgerald to be dictator-for-life, which would of course mean having Byrdensky killed.

But the controversial but tactically flawless Byrdensky kept at it, while Fitzgerald kept stating he was content to be Vice Dictator-for-Life. But the politics were jabbing into practice time, and soon the team was practicing harder than ever and looking to reclaim their trophy.

Now, player by player, we take a look at the Lligers.

Allen Byrdensky

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League (twenty games): 11 Golden Zs, 5 Silver Zs, 18 Pogowhaps, 3 Jabberwockies, 7 Snakes-in-Boots

One of the best players in the world, the 27-year-old Byrdensky is not going to go out anytime soon. With eleven Golden Zs for Vargas after a high-profile pre-season self-trade from the New Llama Blazers for pennies on the dollar, which made New Llama a preseason favorite, destroyed Vargas' hopes at the championship, and got Byrdensky sued more times than Hobby Lobby. Five Silvers and a league-leading eighteen pogowhaps, thirteen in one game, didn't hurt either. Cartography and pogo-sticking are his strong points, and overall he's a great leader with the strength and agility to lead the champions.

August Fitzgerald

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League (twenty games): 13 Golden Zs, 3 Silver Zs, 27 Critical Thoughts, 11 Bayern Munich Poster Mid-Game Awards, 1 Partridge in a pear tree - MVP

But while Byrdensky was amazing, Fitzgerald was sublime, with a whopping thirteen Golden Zs and shattering the all-time record for Critical Thoughts, last held by the ineffable Larry Gryncche (25) in 1991, when the seasons were much longer. The 23-year-old is a huge draw for his limitless energy and savvy, analytical play, and has the dead-on speed to execute his plans.

Justin Bryant

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League (eleven games): 5 Golden Zs, 5 Silver Zs, 13 Istheatomicnumberofsilicons, five batbaps, three Hallaballwans

Bryant is a bit of an oddball, and I doubt he'll be consistent enough to really have an impact, meaning that Byrdensky and Fitzgerald are on their own leadership-wise. I mean, the man who invented the Hallaballwan and mastered the famed batbap isn't exactly the sanest potato in the liquid nitrogen vats: his new title as "Grand Poobah of the Holy Baseball Bat" describes this.

When he was playing in the FCL, Bryant was solid. But a seven-game suspension for scoreboard rigging, awarded by the short-lived Fairness in Calvinball committee, specially created for that purpose, along with two games on a hiatus to worship the Holy Baseball Bat, meant that he only played about half the year. And at twenty-nine, he isn't exactly young. Could Allen Byrdensky kick him off the team soon?

Tyler Morrison

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League: Did Not Play. Served in the military as a cryptologist.

Tyler Morrison is one of the better players on the team, and a fantastic specialist. His code-breaking skills were so good that he joined the Llamanean military as a cryptologist and made the prestigious rank of Private Sixteenth Class. He really can't do anything else, but he isn't bad at athletics and at twenty-eight still has a few years left.

Dennis Cartel

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League (15 games): 3 Golden Zs, 11 Silver Zs, 2 Deaths caused by playing the didgeridoo, 6 Turtles, and a wooden fence award for excellent excellence

Pretty much a musical instruments master: another specialist, only Cartel at forty-one isn't the most fit. He also has killed using a didgeridoo, so he'll probably stay on the team using threats. With few Golden Zs but many Silvers, he's proven to be a consistent role player.

Tigerbot 7.0

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League: DNP (still in beta testing)

Not much to say about a tiger-shaped robot except that hopefully this one's better than the last edition. It can be programmed to do anything and is quite athletic, but the creativity isn't there. Should be a useful complement to Byrdensky and Fitzgerald.

Jeremy Lewis

2013-14 Collegiate Calvinball Association (13 games): NO STATS FOUND.

Lewis's stat record was taken down by fans of his college's rival, but he was one of the best collegiate players, a true second coming of the retired Ronaldo Finch. At twenty-one he has a few Bowls ahead of him and should be able to get into a position as the true third member of the core three behind Fitzgerald and Byrdensky.

Billy Fennel

2013-14 Frontier Calvinball League: DNP (Mental disorder)

A man who thinks he's a muskrat. Not gonna say anything else.

IN CONCLUSION

It's obvious this team has brought back the same old adage: a core grouping of world class players, followed by a procession of role players, excellent specialists to fit needs. With the firepower of Fitzgerald and Byrdensky, Bryant's scoreboard-rigging, the quiet excellence of Jeremy Lewis, and the specialists Morrison, Fennel, Tigerbot, and Cartel should all contribute to a great run this year.

And if the role-players fail, you can bet more will be brought in, with rumors of wolfballer Augustus Minaya, legendary Jacob Harris, and even footballer Alex Cartwright (although the last is definitely false) all swirling. Can the Lligers win the Watterson Bowl? Only one way to find out!

by **New Wolfopolis** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:52 am

Jack Gunn
WBI Position: Lamellicorn
Gunn is the team's do-it-all. Whenever we don't have someone specifically to do something, Jack steps up. Gunn is built like a linebacker, and this gives him a slight specialty in tackling. Gunn is also one of the best grape soda scuba pig carriers in the world.

Will Clark
WBI Position: Martite
Clark is the athletic one on the team. He pogos, he kicks, he runs, he does everything related to athletics. He is skinny, short, and weighs about 130 pounds.

Thomas Pickett
WBI Position: Martite
No one really knows what Pickett does, I assume we'll find that out sometime during these games.

Lucy Parrino
WBI Position: Martite
Parrino went to college at the best music school in the country, Arjema Conservatory for the Arts, but she wasn't satisfied with just a career in music. She joined the Calvinball team to use her musical talent with a wide variety. Thus, she is the go-to music person on the team.

Danny Corbeil
WBI Position: Replacement
Corbeil was added to the team late last year, and he is an expert swimmer, animal identifier, and whacker.

Tammy Daniels
WBI Position: Replacement
Daniels, a marathon runner before joining the team, is the team's best runner, and has a minor from Random College in hopping.

Ricky Lewis
WBI Position: Replacement
Ricky can skip like Nobodys Business, who was formerly the best skipper in New Wolfopolis. After Lewis took over that title, he joined the Calvinball team.

Brenda Magner
WBI Position: Replacement
Brenda is another wild card, just like Pickett and Gunn.

Amanda Henry
Manager
Amanda can be mad when the team wins by fifty points. She can be happy when the team loses by fifty points. Her emotions fluctuate so much, many speculate she's bipolar. Regardless, she can still motivate the team incredibly well.

by **Some Village** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 4:31 am

Me and my stupid ideas... Flying over to Jeckland, Obed started to realise the mere stupidity of his endeavour. Protesting against new measures by Gera II, who had been crowned after the figurative defenestration of King Zedekiah (due to a lack of windows), which forbid the selection to partake in the Olympics, he had signed an entry sheet for something called the Watterson Bowl. He sighed once more as the plane hit ground, knowing that from this moment onwards, he would have to do it all on his own.

It.

This... ehm... Calvinballing thing.

For f's sake, Obed thought, I should've read a brochure.

Official - well, kind of, it's only ironically enforced by the authorities cause, oh, it's a title, sorry -
Roster - well, kind of, can you really call it a roster when only... what? ... oh, damn, didn't meant to, I'll stop it, promised -
for the Nation - well, kind of, according to some students of international law we lack, I'll, no don't, don't, no, not the head, aaaaaah -
of Some Village

Obed
Should be good in jumping long distances
Doesn't know the rules - could be a plus
Moderate technician
Awful musician
Loving husband

by **Barunia** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 8:50 am

Hello, my name is Rufus. I'm the president of COC (The calvinball oversight committee), and board member of the World Calvinball Federation. I'm proud to announce that my brilliant idea, The Calvinball Oversight Committee - Universal Play (COC-UP), is now in it's second year. This concept brings together the ancient and the modern in our calvinball team. Our scouts have scoured time and space (and giving it a thoroughly good clean too), in order to find the best players. Those scouted were lured in to our time machine (which resembles a phone booth, don't ask me why. Also, I understand it's powered by a potato. Again, don't ask me.) Anyway, these are the players ~~we kidnapped~~ who agreed to come play for Barunia.

-John Calvin: If preaching long-winded sermons on reformist theology is part of the game, then John is your man. While still not really sure how he ended up here, he's consoled himself with the belief that this must be part of God's destiny for him.

-Hannibal: Ancient calvinball paintings depict the game being played by tigers. COC-UP therefore feels it is their duty to return tigers to the sport. To that end, meet Hannibal, a 140 kilogram male Javan Tiger, which COC-UP rescued from extinction. He's still in training, but as long as he doesn't eat anyone we should be fine. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

-Susie: Susie is a new addition to the team. And what an addition. We could have got any woman with that name, so why did we have to pick the mad Irishwoman hell-bent on death and destruction in the name of the Republic and the Faith?

Team uniforms: Players will wear masks of sky-blue, as well as newspaper hats in honour of Barunia's ancient de jure title of Inspirer of Names, whose traditional role included the folding of paper hats, bringing party cups, and ignoring arguments about second base. Hannibal's will be tied to his head with a string.

Oh no, I forgot myself. Silly Rufus!

-Rufus. That's me! But of course, I told you that already. I am a great calvinballer. Why? Because I will do anything. Anything at all.

by **Coconut Isle** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:12 pm

Coconut Isle Roster

Information about Coconut Isle
After the nation of Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs (Cocoa Isle) ceased to exist just a few hours ago, there have been some recent developments with respect to Coconut Isle. After their secession, Coconut Isle is a newly independent nation seeking to show the world the powers of AWESOME! Now that Cocoa Island is no longer an official country, this nation serves as a federation of two islands, Coconut Island and Cocoa Island. With that in mind, the Coconut Islanders officially present their roster for the third edition of the Watterson Bowl.

United Roster
Marked with #: From Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs/Cocoa Island
Marked with *: From Coconut Island

#Jim Snakeoil: The former mayor of Cocoa Island, the nation formerly known as Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs, he is now the premier of Cocoa Island, in the newly formed Federation of Coconut Isle. Known for his eccentric views on pretty much everything, he is the captain of this team.

*E-Ball: E-Ball, short for Energy Ball is a sentient mass of plasma, an unknown kind of fluid and energy. Don't go too close to it, lest you want to turn into some form of energy goop as well. As the representative of Coconut Island, he is the vice captain of the team.

*93802394iz: Known as a fembot, she is one of a few thousand from her batch which was randomly selected to join the team. Of course robots are superior to humans in every way, so that's why she's on the team. She can kick, bat or throw anything accurately to within a radian of an angle (OK, so maybe that's not accurate at all, but who cares?), but requires to be cranked up by a teammate after performing one action.

*Abcbcbcbcb bcb: Part of the recent Coconut Isle team for baseball, this person is an excellent catcher. He's also known for his unique name as well, because of some printing errors and some corruptions in the file when his name was being registered in the Department for Births and Deaths. Interesting trivia: His parents names are Lewis Green and Dede Dede.

*Proton Accelerator: Another baseballer from Coconut Isle here, and this big behemoth of a machine has a radius of a few hundred metres. Of course, for it to function and to not vaporise everything in existence, it must be dug underground prior to the match. We anticipate it will take a few million dollars and a few million man hours, but his presence is vital for the team's success.

#Margaret: The former coach of the Jeckish Chicken Connoisseur soccer team in the Jeck Empire Championships, she now finds herself unemployed after the nation went into liquidation. Of course, she is the goddess of sports and randomness herself, Margaret! Though, we don't understand her ramblings, she is a great support base for the team.

#Calvin Coolidge: Also part of the former soccer team from the JCC, Calvin entered this dimension through a time-space warp. He's the oldest member of the team at 54, but we're unsure if he's the same Coolidge as the other one in another dimension in which we call real life.

#Wildcard -- A bag of Jeckish Chicken: You never know when this might come in handy. This bag of Jeckish Chicken is no ordinary bag. In fact, it can transfigure into a wide variety of things from a ottoman to a pebble. It's natural form is this bag however, delighting those who come near it with it's infinite source of delicious, succulent Jeckish Chicken.

by **Nassau-Hessen** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:37 pm

Calvinball Squadron 352.54
Nassauite Spectrum

Some Background:

A random Calvinball team was made for no reason in particular.

Team Wizard: Fallardath Orgulas

He has been on the team for a while now, he is also known as the interpreter of the letters. He makes sense of stuff, and provides prophecies as diagnostics. Due to the complete and utter anarchy of the sport-thing, he is most likely the coach.

The Consumær: Borris Chubbton

If anything involves eating, bouncing, or rolling, this is your guy. The giant that goes by the name of Borris is an expert consumer, diabetic, and chef.

The Salad Tosser: Chip Billings

Having gained national renown for multiple reasons, this senior citizen retired comfortably a few years back with a minimal amount of cash. That was, until he heard of Calvinball. As soon as he heard of the sport-thing, he started an enduring passion for it that endures to this day. He serves the team by handling or throwing anything.

The Smart Alec: Jessie Hutchins

The gender of this intellectual player is unconfirmed. Jessie, for all we know, could be a he-she. She quite smart and his main job is to solve puzzles, strategize for some of the more complex tasks, and to perform some of the odder objectives. He is crucial to the team, but she can also be quite inconveniently sassy and disrespectful. But meh, who cares.

The Fisherman: Olaf Jensen

An expert fish catcher and slapper, Olaf is native to cold climates. However, nobody cares about this in the least. What we do mildly care about is his unique array of useful skills. He is able to spin himself and make objects spin, and is an adept engineer. He is, in addition to the previously mentioned, a great melee fighter and acrobatic.

The Iron Manaiden: Gloria Parks

The tank of the team, she can take unbearable amounts of pain and barely flinch. If any rules require a moderate to severe amount of pain, Ms Parks will take the load. How did she acquire such tolerance? She exercises excessively.

RP Rights

Wait, what?

by **Jeckland** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:14 am

Today's fixtures!

Group A
New Wolfopolis vs. Coconut Isle, U10 Field
Barunia vs. North Britionisea, U13 Field
Patistan vs. Venitseya, U9 Field

Group B
San Jose Guayabal vs. Jachaelter, U11 Field
Nassau-Hessen vs. Britionisea, U14 Field
The Sarian vs. Some Village, U12 Field

Scorination will be done as follows:
10% Basketball - Points for finding hay in a needlestack.
30% Baseball - Points for taming a wild Spud (Jeckland's national animal) by humming a song of your own composition.
60% Ice Hockey - Points for cracking a top secret codes using only red underwear.

by **Jeckland** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:21 pm

Sorry it's late, but here's your first cutoff.

by **Jeckland** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 3:18 pm

RESULTS TIME BABY!

Group A
New Wolfopolis 129g-94s Coconut Isle
Barunia 121b-107r North Britionisea
Patistan 92p-90m Venetsiya

Group A                  Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 New Wolfopolis          1    1   0   0   129   94  +35     2
2 Barunia                 1    1   0   0   121  107  +14     2
3 Patistan                1    1   0   0    92   90   +2     2
4 Venetsiya               1    0   0   1    90   92   −2     0
5 North Britonisea        1    0   0   1   107  121  −14     0
6 Coconut Isle            1    0   0   1    94  129  −35     0

Group B
San Jose Guayabal 115t-87l Jachaelter
Nassau-Hessen 83x-83z Britionisea
The Sarian 97h-90n Some Village

Group B                  Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 San Jose Guayabal       1    1   0   0   115   87  +28     2
2 The Sarian              1    1   0   0    97   91   +6     2
3 Britionisea             1    0   1   0    83   83    0     1
  Nassau-Hessen           1    0   1   0    83   83    0     1
5 Some Village            1    0   0   1    91   97   −6     0
6 Jachaelter              1    0   0   1    87  115  −28     0

by **Jeckland** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:05 am

FIXTURES AND SCORINATION FOR MD2
GROUP A
North Britionisa vs. Patistan, U10 Field
Coconut Isle vs. Barunia, U12 Field
Jeckland vs. New Wolfopolis, U13 Field

GROUP B
Britonisea vs. The Sarian, U11 Field
Jachaelter vs. Nassau-Hessen, U9 Field
Super-Llamaland vs. San Jose Guayabal, U14 Field

Scorination as follows
30% lacrosse - Points for doing the limbo whilst juggling five knives on the top of a cow.
20% rugby union - Points for playing the Jeckish national anthem using only your armpit and a pair of rusty tweezers.
50% football (soccer) - Points for convincing spectators you are mentally deranged.

by **Jeckland** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:27 pm

There were no RP's, so I gave you an extra day. Still nothing. Cut off.

by **Britonisea** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:56 pm

Old Man Dumb Brain speaks about The Watterson Bowl held in fab Jeckland!

"I may be dumb but I do know about this. The good thing is that we are third and isn't that good enough you people are saying Britonisea is rubbish...Oh wait, what. That is not overall? Great. Init. So what happen here is that we played a nation and um... I don't know what is happening here. Anyway, Britonisea is playing fair The Sarian on the next match day. I do not know what to expect. Get me a cuppa, The volleyballers came out in the Olympic held in ummm... What is it called... Oh yeah Kishler. And Tube. In it. Sounds right. Back to Watterson, North Britonisea is not doing so well in Group 1/A as they lay in fifth place. They was thrashed by a country started with B. They are talented you know. As for Jeckland, [SHOUT FROM SON] what they are not taking part? Right well Patistan is doing very well. Well actually, they are in 3rd. Which is bad. In this tournament the worst team is Coconut Isles as they are last of the whole groups. Sorry for them but there has to be a winner and a loser. Did you hear the gossip? These nations are not putting this news in the papers and that is not good. So I decided to write or record this. Now, there is 5 hours of the Watterson Bowlshown in Britonisea compared to the standard 30 minutes. I can work magic babes... [DAD YOU ARE 67 YEARS OF AGE!!! son shouts] Shut up mate. Oh look. Britonisea kicked Roger Federer. [DAD YOU ARE WATCHING TENNIS]

Sorry for not posting my Roster.

by **Jeckland** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:09 pm

MD2 RESULTS ARE HERE SO LET'S ALL CHEER

North Britonisea 59g-71k Patistan
Coconut Isle 43l-57p Barunia
Jeckland 65z-86r New Wolfopolis

Group A                 Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 New Wolfopolis          2    2   0   0   215  159  +56     4
2 Barunia                 2    2   0   0   178  150  +28     4
3 Patistan                2    2   0   0   163  149  +14     4
4 Venetsiya               1    0   0   1    90   92   −2     0
5 Jeckland                1    0   0   1    65   86  −21     0
6 North Britonisea        2    0   0   2   166  192  −26     0
7 Coconut Isle            2    0   0   2   137  186  −49     0

Britonisea 33b-62t The Sarian
Jachaelter 34w-66x Nassau-Hessen
Super-Llamaland 109s-27v San Jose Guayabal

Group B                 Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 The Sarian              2    2   0   0   159  124  +35     4
2 Nassau-Hessen           2    1   1   0   149  117  +32     3
3 Super-Llamaland         1    1   0   0   109   27  +82     2
4 San Jose Guayabal       2    1   0   1   142  196  −54     2
5 Britonisea              2    0   1   1   116  145  −29     1
6 Some Village            1    0   0   1    91   97   −6     0
7 Jachaelter              2    0   0   2   121  181  −60     0

by **Super-Llamaland** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:29 pm

Scorination as follows
30% lacrosse - Points for doing the limbo whilst juggling five knives on the top of a cow.
20% rugby union - Points for playing the Jeckish national anthem using only your armpit and a pair of rusty tweezers.
50% football (soccer) - Points for convincing spectators you are mentally deranged.

--Two men sitting in front of scoreboard that reads FIELD U-14. SLL v. SJG--

"Here we are at U-erm, six? Nine? U and Some Number stadium, a real rustic place, and we're broadcasting live from Llamanean Sports Network! It's our very own Llamaland Lligers against the team from San José Guayabal, Lenny!"

"You betcha! The top two Calvinball teams in the world are set to face off here at U-ten? I think it's ten."

"I swear it's negative five, Lenny."

"Negative five? What kind of a moron picks a negative number for their stadium?"

"I don't know! I've got a feeling that you are WRONG!"

--Lenny and Jim glance at scoreboard and don't notice field number.--

"And we've just received the list of challenges from a fine chap in light black and dark gray. It appears that convincing spectators you are mentally deranged is worth a bonanza of potential points! An early advantage for the Lligers - Billy Fennel is actually mentally deranged, so it shouldn't be too hard. Juggling knives and doing the limbo on a cow, as well as using armpits and tweezers to play the national anthem, make up the rest of the points, naturally. We're set to open here at the U-3 stadium here in Jeckland-"

"Lenny, I am fairly sure it is one."

"One with what?"

"No, stadium U-one."

"OHHHHH SAYYYY CAN YOU SEEEEEEEE!"

"Eh?"

"BYYYYY THE DAWN'S EARLLLLLYYYYY LIIIIIIIGHT!"

"Anyways, the puck has dropped and the fat lady has sung! And Fennel is, erm, running into the bleachers, and doing the muskrat mating call. Wow, what a way to ring up the points!"

"You bet, Jim! And meanwhile, it's the versatile trifecta of August Fitzgerald, Allen Byrdensky, and young what's-his-face-"

"Jeremy Lewis, Lenny."

"Jeremy Lewis! Young Jeremy Lewis here leaping on, and over there in the northwestern corner of Field U-59.7 -"

"I bet my third cousin that it was field U-59.8."

Justin Bryant leaps onto the scoreboard to rig it and swivels it towards Lenny and Jim.

"And the score is already thirty-five to six! The Guayabaleseanians-"

"Fairly sure that's incorrect, Lenny."

"You said it was Field U-59.8, who cares what you think?"

"Anyways, back to the game! Dennis Cartel has finally cranked out the Jeckish national anthem on his armpit tape recorder, and the Lligers are still racking up points, looking for a comfortable win over San José Guayabal. And that's the game as the Lligers call mercy rule! A whopping one hundred and nine to twenty-seven!"

"The Guayabalese are mumbling something about protesting to the Fairness in Calvinball Committee, but that does not exist."

"Naturally, Lenny."

--A piece of the scoreboard reading U-14 drops in front of Jim and Lenny. Both glance at it and continue talking.--

"And so long from U-111 field-"

"Jim, it is obviously U-112."

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"YES IT IS!"

"YOU WANNA GO?"

"LET'S-"

--all sound except for pained grunts has been censored from here on.--

Watterson Bowl III - Everything Thread

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