Gregoryisgodistan Sports Wire (GGSSports.gs)

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 5:34 pm

Matchday 7:

AC Enemy Crushers 3–0 Loyal Friends
Island Soccer 1–2 FC 17 June
Club de Executioners 1–1 Slave Beaters United
Gruelmakers 1–0 GSAZ FC
Coastal Soccer Club 4–0 Military FC
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 Police Squad
Prune Farmers FC 3–0 November 5 SC
AC Pervert Chasers 1–1 Slaves FC

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club        7    5   2   0    15    6   +9    17
 2 Slave Beaters United       7    3   4   0    16   10   +6    13
 3 Prune Farmers FC           7    4   1   2    10    4   +6    13
 4 Horse Beaters FC           7    4   1   2     8    3   +5    13
 5 FC 17 June                 7    4   1   2    11    7   +4    13
 6 AC Enemy Crushers          7    3   3   1    14    9   +5    12
 7 Gruelmakers                7    4   0   3    10    7   +3    12
 8 Slaves FC                  7    3   1   3    13   12   +1    10
 9 Military FC                7    3   1   3     7    9   −2    10
10 Club de Executioners       7    3   1   3     6    9   −3    10
11 Island Soccer              7    3   0   4    14   17   −3     9
12 Police Squad               7    2   1   4     7   10   −3     7
13 AC Pervert Chasers         7    1   3   3     7   14   −7     6
14 November 5 SC              7    1   2   4     6   12   −6     5
15 GSAZ FC                    7    1   1   5    11   17   −6     4
16 Loyal Friends              7    0   2   5     6   15   −9     2

Matchday 8:

Loyal Friends 0–1 Slaves FC
November 5 SC 0–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Police Squad 0–0 Prune Farmers FC
Military FC 0–1 Horse Beaters FC
GSAZ FC 0–2 Coastal Soccer Club
Slave Beaters United 3–2 Gruelmakers
FC 17 June 0–2 Club de Executioners
AC Enemy Crushers 5–4 Island Soccer

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club        8    6   2   0    17    6  +11    20
 2 Slave Beaters United       8    4   4   0    19   12   +7    16
 3 Horse Beaters FC           8    5   1   2     9    3   +6    16
 4 AC Enemy Crushers          8    4   3   1    19   13   +6    15
 5 Prune Farmers FC           8    4   2   2    10    4   +6    14
 6 Slaves FC                  8    4   1   3    14   12   +2    13
 7 FC 17 June                 8    4   1   3    11    9   +2    13
 8 Club de Executioners       8    4   1   3     8    9   −1    13
 9 Gruelmakers                8    4   0   4    12   10   +2    12
10 Military FC                8    3   1   4     7   10   −3    10
11 Island Soccer              8    3   0   5    18   22   −4     9
12 Police Squad               8    2   2   4     7   10   −3     8
13 AC Pervert Chasers         8    1   4   3     7   14   −7     7
14 November 5 SC              8    1   3   4     6   12   −6     6
15 GSAZ FC                    8    1   1   6    11   19   −8     4
16 Loyal Friends              8    0   2   6     6   16  −10     2

Matchday 9:

Island Soccer 3–2 Loyal Friends
Club de Executioners 2–4 AC Enemy Crushers
Gruelmakers 2–1 FC 17 June
Coastal Soccer Club 2–1 Slave Beaters United
Horse Beaters FC 2–0 GSAZ FC
Prune Farmers FC 1–0 Military FC
AC Pervert Chasers 3–3 Police Squad
Slaves FC 0–2 November 5 SC

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club        9    7   2   0    19    7  +12    23
 2 Horse Beaters FC           9    6   1   2    11    3   +8    19
 3 AC Enemy Crushers          9    5   3   1    23   15   +8    18
 4 Prune Farmers FC           9    5   2   2    11    4   +7    17
 5 Slave Beaters United       9    4   4   1    20   14   +6    16
 6 Gruelmakers                9    5   0   4    14   11   +3    15
 7 FC 17 June                 9    4   1   4    12   11   +1    13
 8 Slaves FC                  9    4   1   4    14   14    0    13
 9 Club de Executioners       9    4   1   4    10   13   −3    13
10 Island Soccer              9    4   0   5    21   24   −3    12
11 Military FC                9    3   1   5     7   11   −4    10
12 Police Squad               9    2   3   4    10   13   −3     9
13 November 5 SC              9    2   3   4     8   12   −4     9
14 AC Pervert Chasers         9    1   5   3    10   17   −7     8
15 GSAZ FC                    9    1   1   7    11   21  −10     4
16 Loyal Friends              9    0   2   7     8   19  −11     2

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:19 pm

Matchday 10:

Loyal Friends 2–1 November 5 SC
Police Squad 4–2 Slaves FC
Military FC 0–0 AC Pervert Chasers
GSAZ FC 2–2 Prune Farmers FC
Slave Beaters United 1–0 Horse Beaters FC
FC 17 June 4–0 Coastal Soccer Club
AC Enemy Crushers 1–1 Gruelmakers
Island Soccer 4–2 Club de Executioners

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       10    7   2   1    19   11   +8    23
 2 AC Enemy Crushers         10    5   4   1    24   16   +8    19
 3 Slave Beaters United      10    5   4   1    21   14   +7    19
 4 Horse Beaters FC          10    6   1   3    11    4   +7    19
 5 Prune Farmers FC          10    5   3   2    13    6   +7    18
 6 FC 17 June                10    5   1   4    16   11   +5    16
 7 Gruelmakers               10    5   1   4    15   12   +3    16
 8 Island Soccer             10    5   0   5    25   26   −1    15
 9 Slaves FC                 10    4   1   5    16   18   −2    13
10 Club de Executioners      10    4   1   5    12   17   −5    13
11 Police Squad              10    3   3   4    14   15   −1    12
12 Military FC               10    3   2   5     7   11   −4    11
13 November 5 SC             10    2   3   5     9   14   −5     9
14 AC Pervert Chasers        10    1   6   3    10   17   −7     9
15 GSAZ FC                   10    1   2   7    13   23  −10     5
16 Loyal Friends             10    1   2   7    10   20  −10     5

Matchday 11:

Club de Executioners 2–4 Loyal Friends
Gruelmakers 3–1 Island Soccer
Coastal Soccer Club 6–3 AC Enemy Crushers
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 FC 17 June
Prune Farmers FC 0–0 Slave Beaters United
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 GSAZ FC
Slaves FC 3–1 Military FC
November 5 SC 1–1 Police Squad

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       11    8   2   1    25   14  +11    26
 2 Slave Beaters United      11    5   5   1    21   14   +7    20
 3 Prune Farmers FC          11    5   4   2    13    6   +7    19
 4 FC 17 June                11    6   1   4    17   11   +6    19
 5 Horse Beaters FC          11    6   1   4    11    5   +6    19
 6 AC Enemy Crushers         11    5   4   2    27   22   +5    19
 7 Gruelmakers               11    6   1   4    18   13   +5    19
 8 Slaves FC                 11    5   1   5    19   19    0    16
 9 Island Soccer             11    5   0   6    26   29   −3    15
10 Police Squad              11    3   4   4    15   16   −1    13
11 Club de Executioners      11    4   1   6    14   21   −7    13
12 AC Pervert Chasers        11    2   6   3    11   17   −6    12
13 Military FC               11    3   2   6     8   14   −6    11
14 November 5 SC             11    2   4   5    10   15   −5    10
15 Loyal Friends             11    2   2   7    14   22   −8     8
16 GSAZ FC                   11    1   2   8    13   24  −11     5

Matchday 12:

Loyal Friends 3–6 Police Squad
Military FC 1–2 November 5 SC
GSAZ FC 1–1 Slaves FC
Slave Beaters United 2–0 AC Pervert Chasers
FC 17 June 2–0 Prune Farmers FC
AC Enemy Crushers 0–0 Horse Beaters FC
Island Soccer 2–2 Coastal Soccer Club
Club de Executioners 0–1 Gruelmakers

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       12    8   3   1    27   16  +11    27
 2 Slave Beaters United      12    6   5   1    23   14   +9    23
 3 FC 17 June                12    7   1   4    19   11   +8    22
 4 Gruelmakers               12    7   1   4    19   13   +6    22
 5 Horse Beaters FC          12    6   2   4    11    5   +6    20
 6 AC Enemy Crushers         12    5   5   2    27   22   +5    20
 7 Prune Farmers FC          12    5   4   3    13    8   +5    19
 8 Slaves FC                 12    5   2   5    20   20    0    17
 9 Police Squad              12    4   4   4    21   19   +2    16
10 Island Soccer             12    5   1   6    28   31   −3    16
11 November 5 SC             12    3   4   5    12   16   −4    13
12 Club de Executioners      12    4   1   7    14   22   −8    13
13 AC Pervert Chasers        12    2   6   4    11   19   −8    12
14 Military FC               12    3   2   7     9   16   −7    11
15 Loyal Friends             12    2   2   8    17   28  −11     8
16 GSAZ FC                   12    1   3   8    14   25  −11     6

Matchday 13:

Gruelmakers 1–1 Loyal Friends
Coastal Soccer Club 3–1 Club de Executioners
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 Island Soccer
Prune Farmers FC 4–1 AC Enemy Crushers
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 FC 17 June
Slaves FC 6–2 Slave Beaters United
November 5 SC 3–0 GSAZ FC
Police Squad 1–0 Military FC

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       13    9   3   1    30   17  +13    30
 2 Gruelmakers               13    7   2   4    20   14   +6    23
 3 Slave Beaters United      13    6   5   2    25   20   +5    23
 4 Prune Farmers FC          13    6   4   3    17    9   +8    22
 5 FC 17 June                13    7   1   5    19   12   +7    22
 6 Horse Beaters FC          13    6   2   5    11    6   +5    20
 7 Slaves FC                 13    6   2   5    26   22   +4    20
 8 AC Enemy Crushers         13    5   5   3    28   26   +2    20
 9 Police Squad              13    5   4   4    22   19   +3    19
10 Island Soccer             13    6   1   6    29   31   −2    19
11 November 5 SC             13    4   4   5    15   16   −1    16
12 AC Pervert Chasers        13    3   6   4    12   19   −7    15
13 Club de Executioners      13    4   1   8    15   25  −10    13
14 Military FC               13    3   2   8     9   17   −8    11
15 Loyal Friends             13    2   3   8    18   29  −11     9
16 GSAZ FC                   13    1   3   9    14   28  −14     6

Matchday 14:

Loyal Friends 2–4 Military FC
GSAZ FC 3–3 Police Squad
Slave Beaters United 1–1 November 5 SC
FC 17 June 1–0 Slaves FC
AC Enemy Crushers 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Island Soccer 0–0 Prune Farmers FC
Club de Executioners 4–1 Horse Beaters FC
Gruelmakers 2–2 Coastal Soccer Club

                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       14    9   4   1    32   19  +13    31
 2 FC 17 June                14    8   1   5    20   12   +8    25
 3 Gruelmakers               14    7   3   4    22   16   +6    24
 4 Slave Beaters United      14    6   6   2    26   21   +5    24
 5 Prune Farmers FC          14    6   5   3    17    9   +8    23
 6 AC Enemy Crushers         14    6   5   3    29   26   +3    23
 7 Slaves FC                 14    6   2   6    26   23   +3    20
 8 Police Squad              14    5   5   4    25   22   +3    20
 9 Horse Beaters FC          14    6   2   6    12   10   +2    20
10 Island Soccer             14    6   2   6    29   31   −2    20
11 November 5 SC             14    4   5   5    16   17   −1    17
12 Club de Executioners      14    5   1   8    19   26   −7    16
13 AC Pervert Chasers        14    3   6   5    12   20   −8    15
14 Military FC               14    4   2   8    13   19   −6    14
15 Loyal Friends             14    2   3   9    20   33  −13     9
16 GSAZ FC                   14    1   4   9    17   31  −14     7

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:23 pm

Final Standings for GSL Season 5

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Coastal Soccer Club       30   17   7   6    67   42  +25    58
 2 FC 17 June                30   18   4   8    45   23  +22    58
 3 Slave Beaters United      30   16   9   5    57   43  +14    57
 4 Prune Farmers FC          30   13  10   7    36   22  +14    49
 5 Police Squad              30   12   9   9    55   49   +6    45
 6 Horse Beaters FC          30   13   6  11    30   24   +6    45
 7 AC Enemy Crushers         30   12   9   9    61   60   +1    45
 8 Island Soccer             30   13   6  11    61   64   −3    45
 9 Gruelmakers               30   12   8  10    32   30   +2    44
10 Slaves FC                 30   12   4  14    55   59   −4    40
11 Club de Executioners      30   11   5  14    43   52   −9    38
12 November 5 SC             30    9   8  13    39   46   −7    35
13 GSAZ FC                   30    5  11  14    39   55  −16    26
14 Loyal Friends             30    7   5  18    48   65  −17    26
15 AC Pervert Chasers        30    5  11  14    26   45  −19    26
16 Military FC               30    6   6  18    25   40  −15    24

MD 15-30:

Accordingly, Coastal Soccer Club wins the Lord's Trophy for best regular season record, beating out FC 17 June on Goal Difference. Those two teams will meet in the Championship Game at Lord Almighty Gregory National Stadium. The winner of that game is League Champion and advances to the Champions Cup. The loser is runner-up and goes to the Globe Cup. Slave Beaters United and Prune Farmers FC advance to the Globe Cup.

This is Coastal Soccer Club's first Lord's Trophy and the first by a team other than FC 17 June since November 5 SC hoisted the inaugural trophy.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:26 pm

Championship Game Result:

FC 17 June 2–2 Coastal Soccer Club (3–2 AET)

Accordingly, FC 17 June wins the Championship Trophy and advances to the Champions Cup. Coastal Soccer Club is runner-up and goes to the Globe Cup.

This was the first Championship Match to go extra time. Goal scorers:

16th minute: Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu from Cheese Police KAS193ALLXNANDAU (JUNE 1-0 CSC)
34th minute: Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU from Military SuperGeneral Brockerick Louis (JUNE 1-1 CSC)
51st minute: Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Henry Itted from Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU (JUNE 1-2 CSC)
79th minute: Slave Beater SUAXMC91 unassisted (JUNE 2-2 CSC)
108th minute: Slave Beater SUAXMC91 from Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Shamwow Goodies (JUNE 3-2 CSC)

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:50 pm

Gregoryisgodistan Cup:

In an effort to decrease costs and increase interest, the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer Federation disbanded the local teams altogether and decided to focus on the teams in the GSL. There are unconfirmed rumors that this is because they are planning to add a second division in the future with true promotion and relegation, but this was unconfirmed. For now though, only teams in the GSL will compete in the Cup because those are the only club teams that exist.

There are no byes in this edition - all teams enter in the same round and there are four rounds. The winner will qualify for the Campeonato Esportiva de Campeones. Should League Champion FC 17 June win the Cup, a playoff will be held between the Cup and League runners-up to determine who gets that spot, unless League runner-up Coastal Soccer Club is also Cup runner-up, in which case they automatically advance.

Round 1:

Police Squad 3–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Loyal Friends 0–1 Club de Executioners
AC Enemy Crushers 4–2 November 5 SC
Horse Beaters FC 1–2 Coastal Soccer Club
FC 17 June 5–0 Slaves FC
Island Soccer 1–2 GSAZ FC
Slave Beaters United 1–1 Prune Farmers FC (1–2 AET)
Military FC 0–0 Gruelmakers (2–0 AET)

Round 2:

Military FC 3–0 Coastal Soccer Club
Police Squad 2–2 Club de Executioners (2–2 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Prune Farmers FC 0–1 AC Enemy Crushers
GSAZ FC 0–2 FC 17 June

Semifinals:

Police Squad 2–4 AC Enemy Crushers
FC 17 June 1–0 Military FC

Final:

The final is played at Lord Almighty Gregory National Stadium, unlike the other matches which are played at teams' home stadiums.

FC 17 June 2–2 AC Enemy Crushers (3–2 AET)

FC 17 June is Cup Champion and qualifies for the Cyngus Cup. As they are already qualified for the CeDC, AC Enemy Crushers will face off in a playoff at a site determined by draw to determine who gets the second spot.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:55 pm

CeDC Playoff:

AC Enemy Crushers 3–1 Coastal Soccer Club

AC Enemy Crushers qualifies for the CeDC as Cup runners-up and CeDC Playoff winner.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:02 pm

GSL Division 2 Founded

The Gregoryisgodistan Soccer Federation announced today that a Second Division will be founded in the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League. For now, the Division will consist of 16 new, privately owned teams run by government VIPs. The seasons will normally run concurrently to the First Division, and will be followed by the Cup, but this year they cannot since it is too late. The Top 4 teams will qualify for the Series B Champions Cup and the top two. The bottom two teams in the First Division will be relegated. Accordingly, AC Pervert Chasers and Military FC are relegated to Division 2 for Season 6. Although the GSL has already submitted its list of qualifiers, the list will be amended (OOC: And the post edited) to reflect the Series B qualifiers. Here are the 16 new teams:

Saintland is Stupid FC
The Holy Club
Heathen Killers FC
Death FC
Capital District Crushers
Missile Minders
Death to Saintland FC
Kill The King Klub
Supreme FC
Godly Soccer Club
FC Bomb Jeckland
Gregory Is Great FC
Blue Sky Bombers
Doybert FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC
Xylocarp Smashers

Final Standings for GSL Division 2:

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Capital District Crushers      30   17   6   7    49   31  +18    57 BCUP, PR
 2 Missile Minders                30   16   5   9    54   43  +11    53 BCUP, PR
 3 Death to Saintland FC          30   15   4  11    48   43   +5    49 BCUP
 4 Supreme FC                     30   13   8   9    52   48   +4    47 BCUP
 5 Kill The King Klub             30   13   6  11    41   34   +7    45
 6 The Holy Club                  30   11  11   8    48   41   +7    44
 7 Death FC                       30   12   7  11    47   44   +3    43
 8 Saintland is Stupid FC         30   12   7  11    37   36   +1    43
 9 FC Bomb Jeckland               30   13   3  14    47   44   +3    42
10 Doybert FC                     30   11   7  12    36   43   −7    40
11 Heathen Killers FC             30   10   9  11    42   44   −2    39
12 Blue Sky Bombers               30   10   7  13    43   49   −6    37
13 Hicanan War Heroes FC          30    9   8  13    45   50   −5    35
14 Godly Soccer Club              30    8   9  13    47   56   −9    33
15 Gregory is Great FC            30    5  13  12    44   59  −15    28
16 Xylocarp Smashers              30    6   8  16    39   54  −15    26

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:58 pm

Matchday 1 of GSL Season 6

Here are the results for Matchday 1 of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League, Season 6.

GSL Division I
Police Squad 0–1 Gruelmakers
Capital District Crushers 5–3 Missile Minders
Loyal Friends 0–2 Prune Farmers FC
Club de Executioners 2–0 Slave Beaters United
AC Enemy Crushers 5–3 GSAZ FC
November 5 SC 4–2 Island Soccer
Horse Beaters FC 3–3 Slaves FC
Coastal Soccer Club 1–0 FC 17 June

   GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Enemy Crushers               1    1   0   0     5    3   +2     3
   Capital District Crushers       1    1   0   0     5    3   +2     3
 3 November 5 SC                   1    1   0   0     4    2   +2     3
 4 Club de Executioners            1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
   Prune Farmers FC                1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
 6 Coastal Soccer Club             1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
   Gruelmakers                     1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
 8 Horse Beaters FC                1    0   1   0     3    3    0     1
   Slaves FC                       1    0   1   0     3    3    0     1
10 FC 17 June                      1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
   Police Squad                    1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
12 GSAZ FC                         1    0   0   1     3    5   −2     0
   Missile Minders                 1    0   0   1     3    5   −2     0
14 Island Soccer                   1    0   0   1     2    4   −2     0
15 Loyal Friends                   1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0
   Slave Beaters United            1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0

As luck would have it, due to the random schedule draw, the first matchday would feature a rematch of the last Championship Match, featuring Coastal Soccer Club and FC 17 June. Coastal won the rematch 1-0 at home, spoiling the start to the season for Junebirds. Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU scored the winner for his side in the 75th minute.

Elsewhere in Division I, Gruelmakers got a road win over Police Squad, 1-0, in a battle of teams who have an outside chance of receiving the third Globe Cup spot. Although the exact UICA coefficients have not been released yet, it seems likely Gregoryisgodistan will only get one Champions Cup spot, meaning only the top four will go to UICA competition. In a matchup of newly promoted teams, Capital District Crushers beat Missile Minders 5-3 in a high-scoring, high-flying game, Pervert Chaser 867530PNC was named the man of the match with four assists in spite of not scoring a goal.

Meanwhile, Prune Farmers FC beat Loyal Friends 2-0 on the road in a result which surprised nobody. Club de Executioners knocked off Slave Beaters United 2-0 at home, perhaps helped by the home advantage. AC Enemy Crushers beat GSAZ FC 5-3 in another high-scoring match. The Enemy Crushers picked up two red cards and ten yellows for their rough play. November 5 SC beat Island Soccer 4-2. Finally, Horse Beaters FC and Slaves FC played to a 3-3 draw.

Now, let's look at results in the second division.

Military FC 0–0 The Holy Club
FC Bomb Jeckland 3–0 Death FC
Heathen Killers FC 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Godly Soccer Club 0–2 Death FC
Gregory Is Great FC 1–2 Saintland is Stupid FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 2–0 Death to Saintland FC
To Be Determined 1–0 Kill The King Klub
Supreme FC 4–0 Blue Sky Bombers

                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Supreme FC                   1    1   0   0     4    0   +4     3
 2 FC Bomb Jeckland             1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
 3 Hicanan War Heroes FC        1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
 4 Saintland is Stupid FC       1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
 5 Heathen Killers FC           1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
   To Be Determined             1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
 7 Death FC                     2    1   0   1     2    3   −1     3
 8 Military FC                  1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
   The Holy Club                1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
10 Gregory Is Great FC          1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0
11 AC Pervert Chasers           1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
   Kill The King Klub           1    0   0   1     0    1   −1     0
13 Death to Saintland FC        1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0
   Godly Soccer Club            1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0
15 Blue Sky Bombers             1    0   0   1     0    4   −4     0

The biggest surprise of the day was recently relegated Military FC, favorites to get back to the top flight, merely drawing with The Holy Club in a scoreless game. In another surprise, Hicanan War Heroes FC, who barely escaped execution last time, knocked off Death To Saintland FC 2-0. In their debut to replace the executed last place finishers, To Be Determined beat Kill The King Klub 1-0.

It is shaping up to be a fun GSL season. We'll have more later - stay tuned!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:59 pm

Results after MD 5 of GSL

GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                      5    4   0   1     9    3   +6    12
 2 Gruelmakers                     5    4   0   1    10    5   +5    12
 3 Prune Farmers FC                5    3   1   1     5    1   +4    10
 4 November 5 SC                   5    3   0   2    12    9   +3     9
 5 Police Squad                    5    3   0   2    13   11   +2     9
 6 Island Soccer                   5    3   0   2    11    9   +2     9
 7 Missile Minders                 5    3   0   2     8    8    0     9
 8 AC Enemy Crushers               5    2   2   1    12    9   +3     8
 9 Slave Beaters United            5    2   1   2     7    9   −2     7
10 Horse Beaters FC                5    2   1   2     6    9   −3     7
11 Club de Executioners            5    2   0   3     7    5   +2     6
12 GSAZ FC                         5    2   0   3    15   17   −2     6
13 Capital District Crushers       5    2   0   3    13   16   −3     6
14 Slaves FC                       5    1   1   3     8   14   −6     4
15 Coastal Soccer Club             5    1   0   4     9   13   −4     3
16 Loyal Friends                   5    0   0   5     5   12   −7     0

Following five matchdays in the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League Division I, FC 17 June is in first place to the surprise of nobody. They are sitting in first with 12 points, ahead of Gruelmakers on goal difference. What is incredibly surprising, however, is Coastal Soccer Club sitting in 15th place, ahead only of Loyal Friends. The Lord's Trophy winners just a season ago, Coastal now is in position to be relegated if the season ended today. Fortunately for them, there are still 25 games to go - it's a long season. Newly promoted Missile Minders sit in seventh place, a solid mid-table performance for a team that only stands to improve.

Additionally, it was reported that due to a processing error in Division II, Doybert FC was not scheduled to play any games while Death FC was included in the schedule in two places. The clerk responsible for the schedule, Clerk P120SZZZZZZ, has been executed along with her family. Naturally, Matchday 1 of Division II had to be replayed, and the matchups were redrawn. Here are the standings after Matchday 5, including the replayed Matchday 1.

Division II                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Hicanan War Heroes FC        5    3   1   1    12    9   +3    10
 2 Blue Sky Bombers             5    3   1   1    10    8   +2    10
 3 Military FC                  5    3   1   1     5    4   +1    10
 4 Heathen Killers FC           5    2   2   1     9    8   +1     8
 5 AC Pervert Chasers           5    2   2   1     3    2   +1     8
 6 To Be Determined             5    1   4   0     9    7   +2     7
 7 Death to Saintland FC        5    2   0   3     9    5   +4     6
 8 Saintland is Stupid FC       5    1   3   1     6    4   +2     6
 9 The Holy Club                5    1   3   1     5    3   +2     6
10 Doybert FC                   5    0   5   0     3    3    0     5
11 Godly Soccer Club            5    1   2   2    11   13   −2     5
12 Death FC                     5    1   2   2     4    6   −2     5
13 Supreme FC                   5    1   2   2     4    8   −4     5
14 FC Bomb Jeckland             5    0   4   1     5    8   −3     4
15 Kill The King Klub           5    0   4   1     4    8   −4     4
16 Gregory Is Great FC          5    0   2   3     7   10   −3     2

Hicanan War Heroes FC sits atop the division with 10 points, ahead of Blue Sky Bombers and Military FC on goal difference. Meanwhile, Heathen Killers FC leads AC Pervert Chasers on goals for and would earn the final Series B spot if the season ended today. To Be Determined, the newly-included team in Division II following the execution of the previous last-place finisher, is doing decently enough in sixth place. What is truly remarkable here is the number of draws so far. Doybert FC has drawn all five of their games, apparently seeking revenge for their inadvertent exclusion by playing the most boring game possible. Three other teams have four draws. It is truly remarkable how many draws there are.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:45 pm

Here are the results of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League after 10 matchdays.

GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Gruelmakers                    10    9   0   1    20    9  +11    27
 2 Prune Farmers FC               10    7   1   2    10    2   +8    22
 3 FC 17 June                     10    7   0   3    12    7   +5    21
 4 Police Squad                   10    6   1   3    22   19   +3    19
 5 AC Enemy Crushers              10    5   2   3    22   17   +5    17
 6 November 5 SC                  10    4   2   4    26   24   +2    14
 7 Island Soccer                  10    4   2   4    18   17   +1    14
 8 Slaves FC                      10    4   2   4    17   19   −2    14
 9 Horse Beaters FC               10    4   2   4    13   15   −2    14
10 Missile Minders                10    4   1   5    19   23   −4    13
11 Club de Executioners           10    3   3   4    15   12   +3    12
12 Slave Beaters United           10    3   2   5    12   15   −3    11
13 Coastal Soccer Club            10    3   1   6    18   22   −4    10
14 Capital District Crushers      10    3   1   6    18   23   −5    10
15 GSAZ FC                        10    2   1   7    20   27   −7     7
16 Loyal Friends                  10    1   1   8    12   23  −11     4

The real surprise through ten matchdays is that Gruelmakers is in first place. Gruelmakers finished only ninth in the last league season, so this result is somewhat shocking. They are five points ahead of Prune Farmers FC, who is in second place. FC 17 June, the winningest team in GSL history, sits in third and would miss out on the Championship Game for the first time in its history of the season ended today. Meanwhile, Coastal Soccer Club has moved up two spots in the last five games but is still in 13th place with a mere 10 points. Coastal, who advanced to the group stage of the Globe Cup just two years ago, is nowhere near international qualifying position now and is in danger of being relegated. Currently, GSAZ FC and Loyal Friends are in position to be relegated, with Loyal Friends having managed a pathetic four points through 10 games. Police Squad is also currently in position to make their first international period, currently sitting in fourth position.

Now, let's take a look at the Division II results.

Division II                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Hicanan War Heroes FC       10    6   1   3    19   13   +6    19
 2 Death to Saintland FC       10    5   2   3    17   10   +7    17
 3 AC Pervert Chasers          10    5   2   3     8    5   +3    17
 4 Kill The King Klub          10    4   4   2    10   11   −1    16
 5 Blue Sky Bombers            10    4   3   3    19   18   +1    15
 6 Saintland is Stupid FC      10    4   3   3    11   10   +1    15
 7 Military FC                 10    4   2   4    12   10   +2    14
 8 Heathen Killers FC          10    4   2   4    14   17   −3    14
 9 Supreme FC                  10    3   4   3    16   18   −2    13
10 To Be Determined            10    2   6   2    15   16   −1    12
11 Doybert FC                  10    2   6   2    10   11   −1    12
12 Gregory Is Great FC         10    3   2   5    16   15   +1    11
13 The Holy Club               10    2   5   3     9    8   +1    11
14 Death FC                    10    2   4   4    12   17   −5    10
15 Godly Soccer Club           10    2   3   5    15   19   −4     9
16 FC Bomb Jeckland            10    0   7   3    11   16   −5     7

Hicanan War Heroes is still in first place, just as they were five games ago. These brave, noble war heroes of a soccer club are two points clear of Death To Saintland FC and AC Pervert Chasers for second place. Death To Saintland FC is ahead of the Pervert Chasers on goal difference and would be promoted, but both would advance to the Series B Cup. Meanwhile, FC Bomb Jeckland is in danger of losing their lives, still winless after 10 games but with seven draws. That puts them at 7 points, 2 behind Godly Soccer Club for last place. Of course, last place means death in GSL Division II, which would be utterly embarrassing and fatal for FC Bomb Jeckland. They will be playing for their lives soon if they do not start winning. Fortunately, they have 20 games to do something productive.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 7:36 am

Here are the results through 15 matchdays of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League.

GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Gruelmakers                    15   12   0   3    23   11  +12    36
 2 FC 17 June                     15   10   2   3    18   10   +8    32
 3 Prune Farmers FC               15   10   1   4    16    5  +11    31
 4 Police Squad                   15    8   2   5    29   27   +2    26
 5 Horse Beaters FC               15    7   4   4    16   15   +1    25
 6 Slaves FC                      15    7   3   5    28   27   +1    24
 7 Club de Executioners           15    6   5   4    25   18   +7    23
 8 AC Enemy Crushers              15    6   5   4    28   22   +6    23
 9 Island Soccer                  15    6   2   7    28   27   +1    20
10 November 5 SC                  15    5   2   8    32   33   −1    17
11 Slave Beaters United           15    4   5   6    21   24   −3    17
12 Missile Minders                15    5   2   8    23   30   −7    17
13 Coastal Soccer Club            15    4   3   8    25   30   −5    15
14 GSAZ FC                        15    4   2   9    26   33   −7    14
15 Capital District Crushers      15    4   1  10    25   35  −10    13
16 Loyal Friends                  15    1   3  11    19   35  −16     6

Gruemakers currently sits atop the standings with 36 points, four ahead of FC 17 June, who has moved into position to qualify for the Championship Game. They are one point ahead of Prune Farmers FC, who sits in third place, five points ahead of Police Squad. Shockingly, Coastal Soccer Club is still in 13th place out of 16, and only two points clear of relegation. It would be truly embarrassing if they were relegated to Division II. However, they still have 15 games to get back in the thick of things. They're probably not going to UICA play this cycle, but at least they might get a respectable mid-table finish. Capital District Crushers would be relegated as things stand, just a year after joining Division I. Now, let's take a look at the Division II standings.

Division II                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Hicanan War Heroes FC       15   10   2   3    26   15  +11    32
 2 Military FC                 15    8   2   5    22   13   +9    26
 3 AC Pervert Chasers          15    8   2   5    11    7   +4    26
 4 Saintland is Stupid FC      15    6   5   4    21   15   +6    23
 5 Death FC                    15    6   5   4    19   19    0    23
 6 Kill The King Klub          15    6   5   4    22   23   −1    23
 7 Death to Saintland FC       15    6   4   5    25   19   +6    22
 8 Heathen Killers FC          15    6   4   5    22   23   −1    22
 9 Blue Sky Bombers            15    5   4   6    24   25   −1    19
10 Gregory Is Great FC         15    4   5   6    23   22   +1    17
11 The Holy Club               15    4   5   6    14   16   −2    17
12 Doybert FC                  15    3   8   4    20   26   −6    17
13 Supreme FC                  15    3   7   5    22   27   −5    16
14 To Be Determined            15    3   6   6    21   26   −5    15
15 Godly Soccer Club           15    3   4   8    21   30   −9    13
16 FC Bomb Jeckland            15    1   8   6    16   23   −7    11

Hicanan War Heroes FC is comfortably in first place, with Military FC and AC Pervert Chasers fighting it out for the second promotion spot. Saintland is Stupid FC, Death FC, and Kill the King Klub are all tied on points for the fourth Series B Championship spot, with Death to Saintland FC and Heathen Killers FC not far behind. It should be a fun second half. Let's get going!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:01 am

Here are the results of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League through 20 matchdays. Let's take a look at Division I first.

GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Gruelmakers                    20   14   2   4    30   16  +14    44
 2 FC 17 June                     20   14   2   4    26   16  +10    44
 3 Prune Farmers FC               20   12   2   6    22   11  +11    38
 4 Police Squad                   20   11   3   6    42   36   +6    36
 5 Horse Beaters FC               20    9   6   5    20   17   +3    33
 6 Club de Executioners           20    9   5   6    32   25   +7    32
 7 Island Soccer                  20    8   4   8    37   33   +4    28
 8 Slaves FC                      20    8   4   8    34   37   −3    28
 9 Missile Minders                20    8   3   9    30   38   −8    27
10 AC Enemy Crushers              20    7   5   8    35   33   +2    26
11 November 5 SC                  20    7   4   9    42   41   +1    25
12 Slave Beaters United           20    5   8   7    29   31   −2    23
13 Coastal Soccer Club            20    6   4  10    33   36   −3    22
14 GSAZ FC                        20    5   2  13    35   44   −9    17
15 Capital District Crushers      20    5   2  13    35   48  −13    17
16 Loyal Friends                  20    2   4  14    30   50  −20    10

With ten matchdays left, it looks like there will be a battle for the Lord's Trophy between Gruelmakers and FC 17 June. Those two teams are level on 44 points, with Gruelmakers ahead on Goal Difference. Prune Farmers FC is in third, but six points back. It is hard to envision them making a run in the next ten games. Police Squad rounds up the UICA places at 36 points. Meanwhile, Coastal Soccer Club would need an absolute miracle to qualify for UICA at this point, sitting in 13th place with 22 points, 14 out of UICA position with ten games to go. It is almost certainly not going to happen, making Coastal clearly the biggest disappointment of this season. Meanwhile, Loyal Friends is sitting at the bottom of the standings with just 10 points, seven behind the 15th placed team. Capital District Crushers would stand to be relegated if the season ended today, but GSAZ FC could go down instead - the two are level on points but GSAZ is ahead on Goal Difference. One of the biggest surprises of this season has been Missile Minders, sitting in ninth place just a season after being promoted. Although they will not go to UICA, it is a solid mid-table finish so far.

Now, let's take a look at Division II.

Division II                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Hicanan War Heroes FC       20   12   4   4    35   21  +14    40
 2 Military FC                 20   12   3   5    28   14  +14    39
 3 AC Pervert Chasers          20   12   2   6    15    8   +7    38
 4 Saintland is Stupid FC      20    8   6   6    30   22   +8    30
 5 Death FC                    20    8   5   7    28   29   −1    29
 6 Heathen Killers FC          20    8   5   7    27   30   −3    29
 7 Gregory Is Great FC         20    7   6   7    30   26   +4    27
 8 Death to Saintland FC       20    7   5   8    28   24   +4    26
 9 Blue Sky Bombers            20    7   4   9    29   30   −1    25
10 Supreme FC                  20    6   7   7    30   34   −4    25
11 Kill The King Klub          20    6   7   7    24   28   −4    25
12 To Be Determined            20    5   7   8    28   32   −4    22
13 The Holy Club               20    5   6   9    18   22   −4    21
14 Doybert FC                  20    4   8   8    26   39  −13    20
15 FC Bomb Jeckland            20    3  10   7    21   27   −6    19
16 Godly Soccer Club           20    4   7   9    26   37  −11    19

Hicanan War Heroes FC is still sitting in first place, but it is a lot closer. They are just one point clear of Military FC for the top spot. AC Pervert Chasers, meanwhile, is just one point back of Military FC. Any of them could win the title, and any of them could be promoted. It seems likely two of those three will be moving on up. The fourth UICA spot would currently go to Saintland is Stupid FC, but they are just one point ahead of Death FC and Heathen Killers FC.

At the bottom of the league, Godly Soccer Club currently sits in position to be executed, as they have moved below FC Bomb Jeckland. They both have 19 points, but FC Bomb Jeckland has the better Goal Difference. Doybert FC is only one point clear of the two of them, while The Holy Club is only two points clear and To Be Determined is only three points clear. It's going to be a close race to avoid execution, almost as fun as the race for the championship. We are just ten games away from the end of the regular season. After that, it's one game to decide the Division I Championship, with the Lord's Trophy winner squaring off against the runner-up.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:12 am

The Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League regular season concluded today. Here are the final standings.

GSL Division I                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                     30   21   5   4    42   21  +21    68 LT
 2 Gruelmakers                    30   18   3   9    47   29  +18    57 CG
 3 Police Squad                   30   17   5   8    62   48  +14    56 GLOBE
 4 Prune Farmers FC               30   16   3  11    30   19  +11    51 GLOBE
 5 Slave Beaters United           30   13   8   9    52   42  +10    47
 6 Club de Executioners           30   13   7  10    50   45   +5    46
 7 Horse Beaters FC               30   13   7  10    27   26   +1    46
 8 November 5 SC                  30   13   4  13    58   57   +1    43
 9 Slaves FC                      30   12   5  13    53   57   −4    41
10 Coastal Soccer Club            30   11   6  13    54   54    0    39
11 Island Soccer                  30   11   6  13    56   61   −5    39
12 AC Enemy Crushers              30   10   8  12    51   50   +1    38
13 Missile Minders                30   11   4  15    44   58  −14    37
14 GSAZ FC                        30    8   3  19    51   67  −16    27
15 Capital District Crushers      30    7   6  17    48   64  −16    27 REL
16 Loyal Friends                  30    4   4  22    43   70  −27    16 REL

FC 17 June wins the Lord's Trophy and advances to the Championship Game. Gruelmakers also advances to the Championship Game. Meanwhile, Police Squad and Prune Farmers FC also advanced to the Globe Cup, along with the Championship Game loser. Coastal Soccer Club made a decent run late to move up to 10th, but it wasn't good enough. Meanwhile, Capital District Crushers and Loyal Friends were relegated.

Now, let's look at Division II.

Division II                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Military FC                 30   17   7   6    40   19  +21    58 P, UICA
 2 AC Pervert Chasers          30   15   7   8    25   15  +10    52 P, UICA
 3 Hicanan War Heroes FC       30   14   6  10    41   33   +8    48 UICA
 4 Saintland is Stupid FC      30   12   9   9    42   34   +8    45 UICA
 5 Kill The King Klub          30   11  12   7    38   33   +5    45
 6 Death FC                    30   11  10   9    35   35    0    43
 7 Death to Saintland FC       30   10  10  10    38   33   +5    40
 8 Supreme FC                  30   10  10  10    48   49   −1    40
 9 Heathen Killers FC          30   11   7  12    38   45   −7    40
10 Blue Sky Bombers            30   11   6  13    40   42   −2    39
11 To Be Determined            30    9   9  12    37   42   −5    36
12 Gregory Is Great FC         30    8  11  11    39   39    0    35
13 The Holy Club               30    8   9  13    33   37   −4    33
14 FC Bomb Jeckland            30    6  14  10    37   41   −4    32
15 Godly Soccer Club           30    7  10  13    37   50  −13    31
16 Doybert FC                  30    6  11  13    38   59  −21    29 DEATH

Military FC and AC Pervert Chasers both make it back to Division I after just one season in Division II. Hicanan War Heroes FC and Saintland is Stupid FC also advance to UICA. Meanwhile, Doybert FC finished last and was executed for their sins. As a result, a replacement team needs to be created for the Gregoryisgodistan Cup. It was decided that the new team will be Strait of Santaguerra CS and will play their home games in Strait of Santaguerra Soccerplex. They will begin play with the Cup.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:15 am

Championship Game

FC 17 June 2–0 Gruelmakers

Accordingly, FC 17 June advances to the Champions Cup and Gruelmakers advances to the Globe Cup.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:33 am

Gregoryisgodistan Cup

Round of 32:

The Holy Club 2–1 Capital District Crushers
Kill The King Klub 1–1 Club de Executioners (2–1 AET)
AC Pervert Chasers 3–1 Death to Saintland FC
Loyal Friends 4–3 Gregory Is Great FC
Godly Soccer Club 0–1 FC Bomb Jeckland
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–0 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Coastal Soccer Club 2–1 AC Enemy Crushers
To Be Determined 0–2 Supreme FC
FC 17 June 4–0 Military FC
Horse Beaters FC 0–0 Slave Beaters United (0–2 AET)
GSAZ FC 1–2 Slaves FC
Heathen Killers FC 0–1 Island Soccer
Police Squad 1–1 Death FC (2–1 AET)
Gruelmakers 3–0 Blue Sky Bombers
November 5 SC 2–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Missile Minders 0–3 Prune Farmers FC

Round of 16:

Slave Beaters United 3–1 Supreme FC
November 5 SC 3–1 Slaves FC
Island Soccer 3–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Police Squad 0–3 FC 17 June
AC Pervert Chasers 3–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
Prune Farmers FC 0–0 The Holy Club (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Loyal Friends 0–1 Gruelmakers
Kill The King Klub 1–2 Coastal Soccer Club

Quarterfinals:

Gruelmakers 1–0 Coastal Socer Club
The Holy Club 0–2 November 5 SC
Slave Beaters United 0–1 AC Pervert Chasers
Island Soccer 0–2 FC 17 June

Semifinals:

Gruelmakers 0–0 AC Pervert Chasers (0–1 AET)
FC 17 June 3–2 November 5 SC

Final:

AC Pervert Chasers 0–3 FC 17 June

Accordingly, FC 17 June wins the Gregoryisgodistan Cup and advances to the Cygnus Cup. As FC 17 June won both the Cup and League, there will be a playoff between the two runners-up, AC Pervert Chasers and Gruelmakers, for the second CEdC spot.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:37 am

CEdC Playoff spot:

AC Pervert Chasers 0–1 Gruelmakers

Accordingly, Gruelmakers gets the second CEdC spot.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue May 26, 2015 6:23 pm

Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League Announces New Kit Sponsors for Teams

The Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League has announced new kit sponsors for all teams in Division I and Division II. These sponsorships were negotiated by the teams themselves as well as by the league. All sponsors are domestically based companies, some available to commoners and some only available to Government VIP's. Let's take a look at the sponsors.

Division I:

FC 17 June:
Sponsor: Greglord Air
About the Sponsor: Greglord Air is the national flag carrier of Gregoryisgodistan, offering domestic flights as well as international flights to Esportiva and beyond. Flying on Greglord Air is a unique experience, as the safety briefing informs travelers to pray to Lord Almighty Gregory in the event of an emergency and a pre-flight prayer to Lord Almighty Gregory is held before every departure. When the plane lands safely, passengers join flight attendants and pilots in giving thanks to Lord Almighty Gregory.

Gruelmakers:
Sponsor: Gruelmakers Union of Gregoryisgodistan (Abbreviated "Gruelmakers" on kits)
About the Sponsor: The Gruelmakers Union of Gregoryisgodistan, which controls the Gruelmakers club and sends players there, is also responsible for making all of the gruel rations that are lovingly given to Gregoryisgodistanis each day for all their meals. Without them, all commoners would starve because they are not permitted to eat any other food, though they may drink prune juice and in theory eat frozen prune juice ice pops.

Police Squad
Sponsor: Greggy Guns
About the Sponsor: Greggy Guns is the official provider of guns and other weapons to local police, national police, secret police, slave catchers, and other law enforcement officers. The only law enforcement officers they do not supply are Pervert Chasers, as they use slicing knives, not guns.

Prune Farmers FC
Sponsor: Prune Farmers Guild of Gregoryisgodistan (abbreviated "Prune Farmers" on jerseys)
About the Sponsor: The Prune Farmers Guild of Gregoryisgodistan supplies prunes to be made into prune juice rations for everyone in Gregoryisgodistan. Without them, there would be no prunes, and without prunes, there would be no prune juice. All players on the club are also prune farmers, so they recognize the importance of the hard work.

Slave Beaters United
Sponsor: Slaves R Us
About the Sponsor: Slaves R Us is the largest slave trading company in Gregoryisgodistan. Whether you're looking for a baby slave to practice diaper changing on, a youth slave to be nimble and quick, a big strong, adult slave for all your manual labor needs, or a crippled, blind elderly slave who is the only slave you can afford because you are so poor, Slaves R Us has all your slave buying needs. With thousands of slaves to choose from, you're sure to find the one for you. Visit Slaves R Us today.

Club de Executioners
Sponsor: Executioner Swords Warehouse (stylized on kits as "ESW")
About the Sponsor: Executioner Swords Warehouse is the official provider of executioner swords to all executioners in Gregoryisgodistan. All the players on Club de Executioners are executioners who use the execution swords to execute heathens.

Horse Beaters FC
Sponsor: Horse Beating Rodeo
About the Sponsor: The Horse Beating Rodeo is one of many events featuring horse beaters beating horses for fun. The horse beaters beat the horses with various weapons such as whips, chains, mace, flames, sticks, knives, and even their own feet. This is all good entertainment in Gregoryisgodistan. Not to worry, they don't beat sapient horses. However, the definition of sapient in Gregoryisgodistan is either human or intelligent extraterrestrial, so unless you're a sapient horse from another planet, you can still get beaten. That being said, unless you go wandering in the wilderness with non-sapient horses, it's unlikely the Horse Snatchers will catch you and bring you to the Horse Beaters.

November 5 SC
Sponsor: Church of Gregoryisgodistan
About the Sponsor: The Church of Gregoryisgodistan is the official state religion of Gregoryisgodistan and the only religion permitted. All members must worship Lord Almighty Gregory as a deity or face dire consequences such as death. The name of November 5 SC celebrates the day Lord Almighty Gregory created the multiverse in the Year 0000.

Slaves FC
Sponsor: SlaveBuy.com
About the Sponsor: SlaveBuy.com is the second-largest slave buying store in Gregoryisgodistan and is available online only. They will ship the slaves to you in a crate with airholes, and ship you the key to the crate in a separate package. That way the slaves can't escape. Of course, Slaves FC is consisted entirely of slaves. So nobody cares about them.

Coastal Soccer Club
Sponsor: Beach Boom Cafe
About the Sponsor: Beach Boom Cafe is a chain of cafes located at beaches around Gregoryisgodistan. Their logo includes a palm tree and a nuke.

Island Soccer
Sponsor: Gregorade
About the Sponsor: Gregorade is a large provider of athletic sports drinks to athletes around the country. They have many different flavors, including fruit punch, lemon-lime, blue raspberry, grape, and, for any slaves who have to be athletes, urine-flavored. They all taste good, except the one for slaves. But they're slaves, so who cares?

AC Enemy Crushers
Sponsor: Crushy Crushy Coo Coo
About the Sponsor: Crushy Crushy Coo Coo is an exclusive nightclub only open to Enemy Crushers. They can have fun, talk about crushing, and practice their crushing on slaves who are there for that purposes. The slaves don't get to partake in the fun, but they're slaves, so who cares?

Missile Minders
Sponsor: Nukey World
About the Sponsor: Contrary to its name, Nukey World does not sell nuclear weapons. Instead, it sells t-shirts, underpants, hats, and various other clothing with pictures of nuclear weapons, mushroom clouds, dead Sanctii, and other things of that nature.

GSAZ FC
Sponsor: GSAZ Airport
About the Sponsor: GSAZ Airport is the airport located in the Gregoryisgodistan Special Administrative Zone. Their only flights are to and from Lord Almighty Gregory International Airport in the Capital District. Those flights are in the international terminal there.

Military FC
Sponsor: Gregoryisgodistan Army (home)/Gregoryisgodistan Navy (road)/Gregoryisgodistan Air Force (third)
About the Sponsor: These are the three branches of the Gregoryisgodistani military. They split sponsorship of the military team. All branches are equal so they all get sponsorship.

AC Pervert Chasers
Sponsor: Slicey Dicey
About the Sponsor: Slicey Dicey is a nightclub for exclusive use by Pervert Chasers. As Pervert Chasers are commoners, it only sells prune juice and gruel but sometimes it mixes them in exotic ways if you tip the grueltender nicely. Its name relates to how pervert chasers slice off the privates of perverts.

Division II:

Capital District Crushers
Sponsor: The Lord's Word
About the Sponsor: The Lord's Word is Gregoryisgodistan's largest newspaper, and it is run by the state, as are all newspapers. It is total and utter propaganda, but everyone believes it because they are brainwashed.

Loyal Friends
Sponsor: The Book Nook
About the Sponsor: The Book Nook is an independent bookstore located in the Capital District. It is a small business, one of the few small businesses to sponsor teams. The only reason it sponsors Loyal Friends is that its manager is Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Jasyn Joble and is a huge Loyal Friends fan. They sell all sorts of Gregoryisgodistani books, both new and used. Trade in your used books for store credit and buy used books for reduced prices. Most of their books are used, but they do occasionally have new books when one is declared a "must-buy." It's a labor of love, both for books and for Lord Almighty Gregory.

Hicanan War Heroes FC
Sponsor: Hicanan War Veterans Federation (abbreviated on kits as HWVF)
About the Sponsor: The HWVF is a fedeation for all veterans of the first and second Hicanan Wars. After the Third Hicanan War ends with the nuclear anihilation of Hicana, those veterans will be allowed to join as well. There are planned excursions and parades. They also organize funerals for fallen soldiers in wars abroad and hold events every Martyr's Day.

Saintland is Stupid FC
Sponsor: Eye-ee-zus Worshipers Anonymous
About the Sponsor: Eye-ee-zus Worshipers Anonymous claims to be an organization dedicated to helping people get over their desire to worship Eye-ee-zus, the false God of Saintland. In reality, all "long-time members" are government agents and any new members who show up are executed immediately. In fact, they are executed as soon as they walk in, even if they were just lost, lest they spill the secret of the group.

Kill The King Klub
Sponsor: Grand Esportiva Beach Resort
About the Sponsor: The Grand Esportiva Beach Resort is located in the beach on the southern coast of the country, in District 30. The Southern Skies Ballroom at this resort is where the Draw for World Cup of Hockey 27 was held. It is a luxury resort open only to government VIPs and their slaves.

Death FC
Sponsor: Undertakers Union of Gregoryisgodistan (shortened to "Undertakers Union" on kits)
About the Sponsor: The Undertakers Union of Gregoryisgodistan is an association of undertakers. They bury dead people. But not dead people who committed capital crimes. Their bodies must be burned publicly.

Death to Saintland FC
Sponsor: Doughnut Toaster Strudel Corporation (shortened to "Doughnut Toaster Strudel")
About the Sponsor: Doughnut Toaster Strudel Corporation makes Doughnut Toaster Strudel, a unique breakfast available only to government VIP's and tourists that is a cross between doughnuts and strudel and can be heated in a toaster. You can also bake it fresh, which is better but very labor intensive. Most people buy frozen ones and heat it in their toaster, but some hire slaves to make it for them. But Doughnut Toaster Strudel Corp. only sells frozen ones. In UICA competition, Death to Saintland FC is known as Doughnut Toaster Strudel FC, but they are named after the food, not the company, as the food is unique to Gregoryisgodsitan and is a symbol of Government VIP'ness and what you get as a reward for being loyal to Lord Almighty Gregory.

Supreme FC
Sponsor: The Slave Zoo
About the Sponsor: The Slave Zoo, located in the Capital District, is a zoo where slaves appear in cages and do tricks or sing or other performances. They are forced to because they are slaves. But they are slaves, so who cares?

Heathen Killers FC
Sponsor: The Xylocarp Smasher
About the Sponsor: The Xylocarp Smasher is a smasher that smashes xylocarps, aka coconuts. But that is a forbidden word here, so don't say it. You hit the xylocarp with the Xylocarp Smasher, and they splatter, even if they are sapient. It is a fun weapon to use against xylocarps, especially sapient ones.

Blue Sky Bombers
Sponsor: Lord Almighty Gregory International Airport (stylized as "LAG" in the middle of a picture of a plane, LAG being the airport code for the airport. This is the typical symbol for an airport in Gregoryisgodistani maps.)
About the Sponsor: Lord Almighty Gregory International Airport is the only international airport in the country. They offer domestic and international flights on Greglord Air and other airlines all around the world.

To Be Determined
Sponsor: To Be Determined
About the Sponsor: This isn't actually a sponsor, we think. The club wrote "To Be Determined" as their sponsor. But they're not actually allowed to do that, since they had to have one lined up. Now their kits will have to say "To Be Determined" as if it were the sponsor. Seeing as it's the club name, that may have been the point. Ah, loopholes.

Gregory Is Great FC
Sponsor: Sport TV
About the Sponsor: Sport TV is the state-sponsored Sports channel in Gregoryisgodistan. There are actually four sports channels, Sport TV, Sport TV 2, Sport TV 3, and Sport TV 4 that will show tape delayed programming when nothing is live. Occasionally sports may appear on one or more of the four overflow channels as well. Unlike the normal channels, Overflow 1 through Overflow 4 are not 24/7 networks. They are used only when there is overflow programming, like multiple GSL matches. The overflow channels are used for non-sports as well. For instance, if there are multiple major news stories at once, News TV will show one, Overflow 1 will show another, and Overflow 2 will catch people up on whatever else is going on in case they don't want to watch wall-to-wall coverage of the latest epidemic or plane crash.

The Holy Club
Sponsor: Church of Gregoryisgodistan
About the Sponsor: The Church of Gregoryisgodistan gets to sponsor two clubs, because they're so important and holy. Actually, they get three. You just haven't met the third yet.

FC Bomb Jeckland
Sponsor: Anti-Jeckland League
About the Sponsor: The Anti-Jeckland League is dedicated to hatred of all things Jeckland, or now apparently of all things Jeckish Union. They organize weekly burnings of Jeckish flags, Jeckish effigies, and other Jeckish symbols. They happen every Sunday one hour after sundown at the AJL's headquarters in District 3. Government VIP's can even roast marshmallows on the bonfire, while commoners and VIP's alike can tell campfire horror stories about horrible things the Jeckish monsters do.

Godly Soccer Club
Sponsor: Church of Gregoryisgodistan
About the Sponsor: Told you there were three.

Strait of Santaguerra CS
Sponsor: Nuclear Kayaks
About the Sponsor: Nuclear Kayaks is a company dedicated to making kayaks that can be used to transport nuclear weapons safely, drop them in Iesusisgodistani waters across the Strait of Santaguerra, and set them off as part of a suicide mission to send fallout into Iesusigdositani waters which will eventually wash up on land. It was abandoned because it made no sense whatsoever and was utterly stupid, but still exists for some reason and they sponsored the kits.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:53 pm

Here are the results of the first five matchdays of GSL Season 7.

Let's take a look at Division I first.

Police Squad 1–0 Gruelmakers
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 Missile Minders
Military FC 0–1 Prune Farmers FC
Club de Executioners 0–1 Slave Beaters United
AC Enemy Crushers 3–2 GSAZ FC
November 5 SC 3–1 Island Soccer
Horse Beaters FC 2–0 Slaves FC
Coastal Soccer Club 0–1 FC 17 June

Gruelmakers 0–5 FC 17 June
Slaves FC 0–3 Coastal Soccer Club
Island Soccer 0–0 Horse Beaters FC
GSAZ FC 1–1 November 5 SC
Slave Beaters United 2–3 AC Enemy Crushers
Prune Farmers FC 1–1 Club de Executioners
Missile Minders 1–1 Military FC
Police Squad 1–2 AC Pervert Chasers

AC Pervert Chasers 0–1 Gruelmakers
Military FC 2–4 Police Squad
Club de Executioners 1–1 Missile Minders
AC Enemy Crushers 1–0 Prune Farmers FC
November 5 SC 1–2 Slave Beaters United
Horse Beaters FC 4–3 GSAZ FC
Coastal Soccer Club 0–2 Island Soccer
FC 17 June 1–0 Slaves FC

Gruelmakers 2–0 Slaves FC
Island Soccer 1–3 FC 17 June
GSAZ FC 3–1 Coastal Soccer Club
Slave Beaters United 1–0 Horse Beaters FC
Prune Farmers FC 1–0 November 5 SC
Missile Minders 2–2 AC Enemy Crushers
Police Squad 0–0 Club de Executioners
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 Military FC

Military FC 1–0 Gruelmakers
Club de Executioners 0–2 AC Pervert Chasers
AC Enemy Crushers 0–3 Police Squad
November 5 SC 1–2 Missile Minders
Horse Beaters FC 0–5 Prune Farmers FC
Coastal Soccer Club 2–4 Slave Beaters United
FC 17 June 3–2 GSAZ FC
Slaves FC 2–5 Island Soccer

And the standings to this point....

Division I
                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                 5    5   0   0    13    3  +10    15
 2 Slave Beaters United       5    4   0   1    10    6   +4    12
 3 AC Pervert Chasers         5    4   0   1     6    2   +4    12
 4 Prune Farmers FC           5    3   1   1     8    2   +6    10
 5 Police Squad               5    3   1   1     9    4   +5    10
 6 AC Enemy Crushers          5    3   1   1     9    9    0    10
 7 Island Soccer              5    2   1   2     9    8   +1     7
 8 Horse Beaters FC           5    2   1   2     6    9   −3     7
 9 Missile Minders            5    1   3   1     6    6    0     6
10 Gruelmakers                5    2   0   3     3    7   −4     6
11 GSAZ FC                    5    1   1   3    11   12   −1     4
12 November 5 SC              5    1   1   3     6    7   −1     4
13 Military FC                5    1   1   3     4    7   −3     4
14 Club de Executioners       5    0   3   2     2    5   −3     3
15 Coastal Soccer Club        5    1   0   4     6   10   −4     3
16 Slaves FC                  5    0   0   5     2   13  −11     0

FC 17 June sits in first place with a perfect record. The Junebirds are now undefeated in 21 straight domestic matches since falling to GSAZ FC 3-0 on Matchday 20 of last year's league. They haven't even drawn since Matchday 24 when they played Police Squad to a scoreless draw - counting league and cup, that's 17 straight wins, a most impressive streak. But what else do you expect from the most dominant team in the country, who has won the Lord's Trophy four times in six seasons and the Championship Trophy all but once in the history of the league?

Meanwhile, Gruelmakers got off to a disappointing start, going 2-0-3 in their first five games one season after playing for the Championship. Meanwhile, Coastal Soccer Club continues their fall from grace just two seasons removed from their Lord's Trophy win, grabbing just three points in their first five games, all from a win over lowly Slaves FC. The Slaves are the only team worse than Coastal right now, not even scrapping up a point. But who cares? They're slaves.

Meanwhile, Slave Beaters United sit in second in the league, ahead of AC Pervert Chasers on goals for. AC Pervert Chasers was playing in Division II just last year, but got promoted then went on a run to the Cup Final before losing to 17 June. They fell to Gruelmakers in the CeDC playoff. Prune Farmers FC would get the final Globe Cup spot if the season ended today. But of course, we've got quite a ways to go still. That being said, FC 17 June has been playing exceptionally well so far and seems destined to pull off the league double for the second year in a row and fourth time overall. They might even make it a domestic treble by taking home the Cup.

Now, let's take a look at Division II

Godly Soccer Club 3–1 Death to Saintland FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Gregory Is Great FC 0–2 Death FC
Kill The King Klub 1–0 Supreme FC
Heathen Killers FC 2–2 FC Bomb Jeckland
Hicanan War Heroes FC 2–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
Loyal Friends 0–3 Capital District Crushers
To Be Determined 1–0 The Holy Club

Death to Saintland FC 0–2 The Holy Club
Capital District Crushers 1–3 To Be Determined
Saintland is Stupid FC 3–0 Loyal Friends
FC Bomb Jeckland 1–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Supreme FC 0–1 Heathen Killers FC
Death FC 2–0 Kill The King Klub
Blue Sky Bombers 3–3 Gregory Is Great FC
Godly Soccer Club 2–2 Strait of Santaguerra CS

Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–2 Death to Saintland FC
Gregory Is Great FC 0–1 Godly Soccer Club
Kill The King Klub 1–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Heathen Killers FC 3–4 Death FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–1 Supreme FC
Loyal Friends 4–3 FC Bomb Jeckland
To Be Determined 3–4 Saintland is Stupid FC
The Holy Club 1–2 Capital District Crushers

Death to Saintland FC 0–2 Capital District Crushers
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–1 The Holy Club
FC Bomb Jeckland 1–2 To Be Determined
Supreme FC 0–0 Loyal Friends
Death FC 2–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Blue Sky Bombers 1–2 Heathen Killers FC
Godly Soccer Club 2–0 Kill The King Klub
Strait of Santaguerra CS 2–3 Gregory Is Great FC

Gregory Is Great FC 0–0 Death to Saintland FC
Kill The King Klub 4–3 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Heathen Killers FC 0–0 Godly Soccer Club
Hicanan War Heroes FC 2–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Loyal Friends 2–2 Death FC
To Be Determined 4–2 Supreme FC
The Holy Club 3–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Capital District Crushers 3–1 Saintland is Stupid FC

And the standings....

Division II
                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                        5    4   1   0    12    6   +6    13
 2 Capital District Crushers       5    4   0   1    11    5   +6    12
 3 To Be Determined                5    4   0   1    13    8   +5    12
 4 Godly Soccer Club               5    3   2   0     8    3   +5    11
 5 Heathen Killers FC              5    2   2   1     8    7   +1     8
 6 The Holy Club                   5    2   1   2     7    4   +3     7
 7 Saintland is Stupid FC          5    2   1   2    10    9   +1     7
 8 Hicanan War Heroes FC           5    2   1   2     6    6    0     7
 9 Kill The King Klub              5    2   1   2     6    8   −2     7
10 Blue Sky Bombers                5    1   2   2     7    8   −1     5
11 Gregory Is Great FC             5    1   2   2     6    8   −2     5
12 Loyal Friends                   5    1   2   2     6   11   −5     5
13 Supreme FC                      5    1   1   3     3    6   −3     4
14 Death to Saintland FC           5    1   1   3     3    7   −4     4
15 FC Bomb Jeckland                5    0   2   3     7   12   −5     2
16 Strait of Santaguerra CS        5    0   1   4     7   12   −5     1

Death FC currently leads Division II with 13 points out of a possible 15, while Capital District Crushers are currently in a position to earn promotion back to Division I as they are sitting on 12. But the oddly named To Be Determined trails only on Goal Difference and would grab the final SBCC spot if the season ended today. Of course, there are only three spots this season, not four. Of those teams, only Capital District Crushers have tasted UICA action before, making the SBCC two years ago after winning the first Division II championship. Much to the disappointment of those in Gregoryisgodistan, none of the teams with names deemed inappropriate by UICA are currently in position to advance to the SBCC, meaning none of them will have to temporarily change their names for the competition. However, Heathen Killers FC is currently just two spots out - they do trail by four points though. But there's plenty of time to make up for it.

Currently Strait of Santaguerra CS is in last in Division II, meaning they would be executed for their failures if the season ended today. But they have 25 games to turn it around. Will they do so? You'll just have to stay tuned.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Fri Jun 12, 2015 10:12 am

Let's take a look at Matchdays 6-10 of Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League, Season 7. Let's start with Division I.

Gruelmakers 0–2 Island Soccer
GSAZ FC 5–2 Slaves FC
Slave Beaters United 0–4 FC 17 June
Prune Farmers FC 0–2 Coastal Soccer Club
Missile Minders 1–0 Horse Beaters FC
Police Squad 3–1 November 5 SC
AC Pervert Chasers 1–2 AC Enemy Crushers
Military FC 1–1 Club de Executioners

Club de Executioners 1–1 Gruelmakers
AC Enemy Crushers 4–2 Military FC
November 5 SC 2–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 Police Squad
Coastal Soccer Club 1–1 Missile Minders
FC 17 June 4–0 Prune Farmers FC
Slaves FC 2–4 Slave Beaters United
Island Soccer 3–2 GSAZ FC

Gruelmakers 3–4 GSAZ FC
Slave Beaters United 5–3 Island Soccer
Prune Farmers FC 2–1 Slaves FC
Missile Minders 0–3 FC 17 June
Police Squad 1–1 Coastal Soccer Club
AC Pervert Chasers 2–1 Horse Beaters FC
Military FC 3–3 November 5 SC
Club de Executioners 1–2 AC Enemy Crushers

AC Enemy Crushers 0–1 Gruelmakers
November 5 SC 1–0 Club de Executioners
Horse Beaters FC 1–0 Military FC
Coastal Soccer Club 3–3 AC Pervert Chasers
FC 17 June 1–1 Police Squad
Slaves FC 0–3 Missile Minders
Island Soccer 1–0 Prune Farmers FC
GSAZ FC 0–1 Slave Beaters United

Gruelmakers 1–1 Slave Beaters United
Prune Farmers FC 1–1 GSAZ FC
Missile Minders 6–3 Island Soccer
Police Squad 6–1 Slaves FC
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 FC 17 June
Military FC 1–1 Coastal Soccer Club
Club de Executioners 1–2 Horse Beaters FC
AC Enemy Crushers 4–3 November 5 SC

Standings

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                10    8   1   1    25    5  +20    25
 2 Slave Beaters United      10    7   1   2    21   16   +5    22
 3 AC Enemy Crushers         10    7   1   2    21   17   +4    22
 4 Police Squad              10    6   3   1    21    8  +13    21
 5 AC Pervert Chasers        10    6   1   3    13   10   +3    19
 6 Missile Minders           10    4   4   2    17   13   +4    16
 7 Island Soccer             10    5   1   4    21   21    0    16
 8 Prune Farmers FC          10    4   2   4    11   11    0    14
 9 Horse Beaters FC          10    4   1   5    10   14   −4    13
10 GSAZ FC                   10    3   2   5    23   22   +1    11
11 November 5 SC             10    3   2   5    16   17   −1    11
12 Gruelmakers               10    3   2   5     9   15   −6    11
13 Coastal Soccer Club       10    2   4   4    14   16   −2    10
14 Military FC               10    1   4   5    11   17   −6     7
15 Club de Executioners      10    0   5   5     6   12   −6     5
16 Slaves FC                 10    0   0  10     8   33  −25     0

FC 17 June managed to stretch their win streak to 20 before playing Police Squad to a 1-1 draw on Matchday 9. This did run their unbeaten streak to 25, but they fell to AC Pervert Chasers 1-0 the next game, dropping to 8-1-1 on the season. They're still in first place, three points clear of Slave Beaters United and surprise team AC Enemy Crushers. Police Squad sits a point back of those two at 21, with AC Pervert Chasers just outside UICA play.

Slaves FC remains at 0 points on the season through ten games, an absolutely horrible start. Club de Executioners is winless as well, but does have five points. Coastal Soccer Club at least moved out of relegation position, and is now sitting in 13th at 2-4-4. Military FC is in 14th and in position to survive another year, but is only two points clear of the drop zone.

Now, let's take a look at Division II.

Death to Saintland FC 5–2 Saintland is Stupid FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–1 Capital District Crushers
Supreme FC 1–0 The Holy Club
Death FC 1–0 To Be Determined
Blue Sky Bombers 1–1 Loyal Friends
Godly Soccer Club 0–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 1–0 Heathen Killers FC
Gregory Is Great FC 0–2 Kill The King Klub

Kill The King Klub 0–1 Death to Saintland FC
Heathen Killers FC 2–5 Gregory Is Great FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–0 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Loyal Friends 0–0 Godly Soccer Club
To Be Determined 0–0 Blue Sky Bombers
The Holy Club 0–0 Death FC
Capital District Crushers 0–1 Supreme FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–1 FC Bomb Jeckland

Death to Saintland FC 2–3 FC Bomb Jeckland
Supreme FC 0–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
Death FC 4–1 Capital District Crushers
Blue Sky Bombers 2–3 The Holy Club
Godly Soccer Club 0–2 To Be Determined
Strait of Santaguerra CS 1–0 Loyal Friends
Gregory Is Great FC 3–4 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Kill The King Klub 2–2 Heathen Killers FC

Heathen Killers FC 1–2 Death to Saintland FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 1–0 Kill The King Klub
Loyal Friends 2–1 Gregory Is Great FC
To Be Determined 1–3 Strait of Santaguerra CS
The Holy Club 3–2 Godly Soccer Club
Capital District Crushers 1–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Saintland is Stupid FC 2–3 Death FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–1 Supreme FC

Death to Saintland FC 2–1 Supreme FC
Death FC 1–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Blue Sky Bombers 1–3 Saintland is Stupid FC
Godly Soccer Club 0–2 Capital District Crushers
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–0 The Holy Club
Gregory Is Great FC 0–1 To Be Determined
Kill The King Klub 3–2 Loyal Friends
Heathen Killers FC 0–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC

Standings:

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                       10    8   2   0    21    9  +12    26
 2 Hicanan War Heroes FC          10    6   2   2    13    9   +4    20
 3 To Be Determined               10    6   1   3    17   12   +5    19
 4 Capital District Crushers      10    6   1   3    16   11   +5    19
 5 Death to Saintland FC          10    5   1   4    15   14   +1    16
 6 The Holy Club                  10    4   3   3    13    9   +4    15
 7 Saintland is Stupid FC         10    4   2   4    19   19    0    14
 8 Kill The King Klub             10    4   2   4    13   14   −1    14
 9 Supreme FC                     10    4   1   5     7    9   −2    13
10 Strait of Santaguerra CS       10    3   3   4    12   13   −1    12
11 Godly Soccer Club              10    3   3   4    10   11   −1    12
12 Loyal Friends                  10    2   4   4    11   17   −6    10
13 Heathen Killers FC             10    2   3   5    13   18   −5     9
14 Gregory Is Great FC            10    2   2   6    15   19   −4     8
15 Blue Sky Bombers               10    1   5   4    12   16   −4     8
16 FC Bomb Jeckland               10    1   3   6    11   18   −7     6

We're a third of the way through the season, and Death FC sits in first place, undefeated and looking to be promoted. Hicanan War Heroes FC is in second and would also be promoted, while To Be Determined would also make the SBCC. Capital District Crushers trails on GF. Meanwhile, FC Bomb Jeckland is in Death Position.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:27 pm

Let's take a look at results of Matchdays 11-15 of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League. The season has now reached its halfway point. Who will be in the lead? Who will do well? Well, let's take a look. We'll start with Division I.

November 5 SC 0–2 Gruelmakers
Horse Beaters FC 0–0 AC Enemy Crushers
Coastal Soccer Club 5–4 Club de Executioners
FC 17 June 1–0 Military FC
Slaves FC 3–2 AC Pervert Chasers
Island Soccer 5–4 Police Squad
GSAZ FC 1–1 Missile Minders
Slave Beaters United 0–0 Prune Farmers FC

Gruelmakers 0–1 Prune Farmers FC
Missile Minders 1–2 Slave Beaters United
Police Squad 0–0 GSAZ FC
AC Pervert Chasers 2–1 Island Soccer
Military FC 0–1 Slaves FC
Club de Executioners 0–3 FC 17 June
AC Enemy Crushers 1–1 Coastal Soccer Club
November 5 SC 1–2 Horse Beaters FC

Horse Beaters FC 3–1 Gruelmakers
Coastal Soccer Club 4–3 November 5 SC
FC 17 June 3–0 AC Enemy Crushers
Slaves FC 1–0 Club de Executioners
Island Soccer 1–0 Military FC
GSAZ FC 2–1 AC Pervert Chasers
Slave Beaters United 1–1 Police Squad
Prune Farmers FC 2–1 Missile Minders

Gruelmakers 1–0 Missile Minders
Police Squad 1–2 Prune Farmers FC
AC Pervert Chasers 0–2 Slave Beaters United
Military FC 3–4 GSAZ FC
Club de Executioners 3–4 Island Soccer
AC Enemy Crushers 3–4 Slaves FC
November 5 SC 1–0 FC 17 June
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 Coastal Soccer Club

Coastal Soccer Club 1–1 Gruelmakers
FC 17 June 2–2 Horse Beaters FC
Slaves FC 2–2 November 5 SC
Island Soccer 0–3 AC Enemy Crushers
GSAZ FC 2–1 Club de Executioners
Slave Beaters United 4–3 Military FC
Prune Farmers FC 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Missile Minders 2–2 Police Squad

And the standings....

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                15   11   2   2    34    8  +26    35
 2 Slave Beaters United      15   10   3   2    30   21   +9    33
 3 Prune Farmers FC          15    8   3   4    17   13   +4    27
 4 AC Enemy Crushers         15    8   3   4    28   25   +3    27
 5 Island Soccer             15    8   1   6    32   33   −1    25
 6 Police Squad              15    6   6   3    29   18  +11    24
 7 GSAZ FC                   15    6   4   5    32   28   +4    22
 8 AC Pervert Chasers        15    7   1   7    18   19   −1    22
 9 Coastal Soccer Club       15    5   6   4    26   25   +1    21
10 Horse Beaters FC          15    6   3   6    17   19   −2    21
11 Missile Minders           15    4   6   5    22   21   +1    18
12 Gruelmakers               15    5   3   7    14   20   −6    18
13 November 5 SC             15    4   3   8    23   27   −4    15
14 Slaves FC                 15    4   1  10    19   40  −21    13
15 Military FC               15    1   4  10    17   28  −11     7
16 Club de Executioners      15    0   5  10    14   27  −13     5

FC 17 June again went 3-1-1 over this five game stretch, so they have cooled off a bit from their torrential start, but they still sit in first place with 35 points. Slave Beaters United is in second with 33 and would play for the Championship if the season ended today. Gruelmakers, in spite of making the Championship last season, is only in 12th position, with 18 points through 15 games. But the real surprise of this portion was lowly Slaves FC. After starting with 10 straight losses, they ran off four straight wins before drawing November 5 SC 2-2 at Slavery Field. They now sit in 14th place, but are six points clear of the drop zone. Club de Executioners still hasn't won a game and only have five points through 15 games, all from draws. Military FC is probably going to be demoted as well, but we still have 15 games left.

Rounding up the potential Globe Cup berths are Prune Farmers FC and AC Enemy Crushers. Island Soccer and Police Squad are just a couple points back each. Coastal Soccer Club has moved up to ninth after a dismal start and now have more wins than losses, but those six draws are killing them. They are six points out of a UICA spot as it stands. Meanwhile, AC Pervert Chasers sits in eighth place in their first season back in the top flight.

Let's take a look at Division II.

Hicanan War Heroes FC 1–3 Death to Saintland FC
Loyal Friends 3–2 Heathen Killers FC
To Be Determined 3–1 Kill The King Klub
The Holy Club 3–3 Gregory Is Great FC
Capital District Crushers 1–1 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Saintland is Stupid FC 0–1 Godly Soccer Club
FC Bomb Jeckland 1–0 Blue Sky Bombers
Supreme FC 2–0 Death FC

Death to Saintland FC 0–1 Death FC
Blue Sky Bombers 0–1 Supreme FC
Godly Soccer Club 0–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Strait of Santaguerra CS 3–5 Saintland is Stupid FC
Gregory Is Great FC 1–4 Capital District Crushers
Kill The King Klub 5–2 The Holy Club
Heathen Killers FC 2–0 To Be Determined
Hicanan War Heroes FC 2–2 Loyal Friends

Loyal Friends 2–5 Death to Saintland FC
To Be Determined 2–2 Hicanan War Heroes FC
The Holy Club 0–0 Heathen Killers FC
Capital District Crushers 0–0 Kill The King Klub
Saintland is Stupid FC 3–2 Gregory Is Great FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 3–1 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Supreme FC 2–2 Godly Soccer Club
Death FC 2–3 Blue Sky Bombers

Death to Saintland FC 0–0 Blue Sky Bombers
Godly Soccer Club 1–0 Death FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–1 Supreme FC
Gregory Is Great FC 0–2 FC Bomb Jeckland
Kill The King Klub 1–2 Saintland is Stupid FC
Heathen Killers FC 2–3 Capital District Crushers
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–2 The Holy Club
Loyal Friends 4–3 To Be Determined

To Be Determined 2–1 Death to Saintland FC
The Holy Club 1–0 Loyal Friends
Capital District Crushers 3–6 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 0–2 Heathen Killers FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 1–2 Kill The King Klub
Supreme FC 4–5 Gregory Is Great FC
Death FC 4–3 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Blue Sky Bombers 0–0 Godly Soccer Club

And the standings:

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                       15   10   2   3    28   18  +10    32
 2 Capital District Crushers      15    8   3   4    27   21   +6    27
 3 To Be Determined               15    8   2   5    27   22   +5    26
 4 Hicanan War Heroes FC          15    7   4   4    24   21   +3    25
 5 Death to Saintland FC          15    7   2   6    24   20   +4    23
 6 The Holy Club                  15    6   5   4    21   17   +4    23
 7 Saintland is Stupid FC         15    7   2   6    29   28   +1    23
 8 Supreme FC                     15    7   2   6    17   16   +1    23
 9 Godly Soccer Club              15    5   6   4    14   13   +1    21
10 Kill The King Klub             15    6   3   6    22   22    0    21
11 Loyal Friends                  15    4   5   6    22   30   −8    17
12 Heathen Killers FC             15    4   4   7    21   24   −3    16
13 FC Bomb Jeckland               15    4   4   7    18   21   −3    16
14 Blue Sky Bombers               15    2   7   6    15   20   −5    13
15 Strait of Santaguerra CS       15    3   4   8    20   27   −7    13
16 Gregory Is Great FC            15    3   3   9    26   35   −9    12

Death FC remains in first place, five points clear of Capital District Crushers for the Division II trophy. The Crushers would also be promoted, however. To Be Determined would grab the last SBCC spot if the season ended today, but we still have 15 games left. Hicanan War Heroes FC is sitting right on the doorstep, one point out of the SBCC. Death to Saintland FC is three points away from returning to UICA after a year's absence, while The Holy Club is three points back as well, along with Saintland is Stupid FC and Supreme FC. In other words, there are a lot of teams on 23 points.

FC Bomb Jeckland has moved out of the Death Zone and are now in 13th place. Gregory Is Great FC would die if their season ended today, with Blue Sky Bombers and Strait of Santaguerra CS forced to play for their lives as well. Bomb Jeckland may die, but they're four points ahead of death right now. There's quite aways to go, so they need to be alert, but they may have done enough.

The second half of the season will be coming up, and we've got an exciting finish for you. Fifteen games remain before someone hoists (or rather, poses for pictures with but doesn't hoist) the Lord's Trophy and someone else takes second and advances to the Championship. We'll find out who gets promoted, who gets relegated, and who dies. And then we'll have the Championship Match.

And of course, after that, it's CUP TIME!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Jun 14, 2015 12:46 pm

Here is a summary of Matchdays 16-20 of Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League Season 7. We've got the second half underway and are now two thirds of the way through the season. What will happen? Well, let's look at the summary. We will start with Division I.

Gruelmakers 0–2 Police Squad
Missile Minders 2–1 AC Pervert Chasers
Prune Farmers FC 2–0 Military FC
Slave Beaters United 3–0 Club de Executioners
GSAZ FC 0–2 AC Enemy Crushers
Island Soccer 5–3 November 5 SC
Slaves FC 3–1 Horse Beaters FC
FC 17 June 4–0 Coastal Soccer Club

FC 17 June 0–0 Gruelmakers
Coastal Soccer Club 5–0 Slaves FC
Horse Beaters FC 1–0 Island Soccer
November 5 SC 5–3 GSAZ FC
AC Enemy Crushers 1–1 Slave Beaters United
Club de Executioners 1–0 Prune Farmers FC
Military FC 2–1 Missile Minders
AC Pervert Chasers 0–2 Police Squad

Gruelmakers 0–1 AC Pervert Chasers
Police Squad 3–1 Military FC
Missile Minders 3–2 Club de Executioners
Prune Farmers FC 1–2 AC Enemy Crushers
Slave Beaters United 3–3 November 5 SC
GSAZ FC 1–2 Horse Beaters FC
Island Soccer 2–0 Coastal Soccer Club
Slaves FC 3–6 FC 17 June

Slaves FC 0–2 Gruelmakers
FC 17 June 0–1 Island Soccer
Coastal Soccer Club 2–5 GSAZ FC
Horse Beaters FC 2–0 Slave Beaters United
November 5 SC 1–1 Prune Farmers FC
AC Enemy Crushers 1–3 Missile Minders
Club de Executioners 3–2 Police Squad
Military FC 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers

Gruelmakers 0–0 Military FC
AC Pervert Chasers 0–0 Club de Executioners
Police Squad 2–5 AC Enemy Crushers
Missile Minders 2–2 November 5 SC
Prune Farmers FC 2–0 Horse Beaters FC
Slave Beaters United 0–0 Coastal Soccer Club
GSAZ FC 1–1 FC 17 June
Island Soccer 3–4 Slaves FC

And the standings:

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                20   13   4   3    45   13  +32    43
 2 Slave Beaters United      20   11   6   3    37   27  +10    39
 3 AC Enemy Crushers         20   11   4   5    39   32   +7    37
 4 Prune Farmers FC          20   10   4   6    23   17   +6    34
 5 Island Soccer             20   11   1   8    43   41   +2    34
 6 Police Squad              20    9   6   5    40   27  +13    33
 7 Horse Beaters FC          20    9   3   8    23   25   −2    30
 8 Missile Minders           20    7   7   6    33   29   +4    28
 9 GSAZ FC                   20    7   5   8    42   40   +2    26
10 AC Pervert Chasers        20    8   2  10    20   24   −4    26
11 Coastal Soccer Club       20    6   7   7    33   36   −3    25
12 Gruelmakers               20    6   5   9    16   23   −7    23
13 November 5 SC             20    5   6   9    37   41   −4    21
14 Slaves FC                 20    6   1  13    29   57  −28    19
15 Military FC               20    3   5  12    21   34  −13    14
16 Club de Executioners      20    2   6  12    20   35  −15    12 ELT

We have our first elimination of the season, sort of, with Club de Executioners being eliminated from Lord's Trophy contention. They are still mathematically capable of playing for the Championship, but it is highly improbable and would take an absolute miracle. But they will not hoist the Lord's Trophy, this much we know. Meanwhile, FC 17 June still sits in first place, at 13-4-3, earning them 43 points. They are four points clear of Slave Beaters United with ten games to go, and should probably win the Lord's Trophy if they can keep up the good work. AC Enemy Crushers is challenging for the second spot in the Championship Game at 37 points, just two back of SBU. Prune Farmers FC has 34 points and would earn the final Globe Cup spot over Island Soccer on Goal Differential. Police Squad sits in sixth, just a point back of those two and with the edge in GD.

As we go to the other end, Military FC and Club de Executioners are currently in the drop zone, five and seven points back of 14th place Slaves FC. It seems likely they will both fall to Division II next year. Meanwhile, Missile Minders, the only team in Division I this year who wasn't a charter or expansion member, but rather started out in Division II, is doing fairly comfortably for themselves, sitting in 8th place with 28 points. They will likely survive for the second straight year. Meanwhile, AC Pervert Chasers, who also earned a promotion after a year's absence, now sits in 10th place, enough to survive but not much more. Coastal Soccer Club and Gruelmakers continue their dramatic and shocking falls, now sitting in 11th and 12th place, though well clear of the drop zone. November 5 SC sits in 13th, and it is hard to believe that this is the team who won the Lord's Trophy in Season 1.

Now let's take a look at Division II.

Death to Saintland FC 0–1 Godly Soccer Club
Blue Sky Bombers 1–1 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Death FC 3–0 Gregory Is Great FC
Supreme FC 0–1 Kill The King Klub
FC Bomb Jeckland 2–1 Heathen Killers FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–0 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Capital District Crushers 3–4 Loyal Friends
The Holy Club 1–2 To Be Determined

The Holy Club 3–1 Death to Saintland FC
To Be Determined 1–2 Capital District Crushers
Loyal Friends 3–3 Saintland is Stupid FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Heathen Killers FC 1–1 Supreme FC
Kill The King Klub 1–0 Death FC
Gregory Is Great FC 1–3 Blue Sky Bombers
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–2 Godly Soccer Club

Death to Saintland FC 2–4 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Godly Soccer Club 0–0 Gregory Is Great FC
Blue Sky Bombers 1–2 Kill The King Klub
Death FC 2–2 Heathen Killers FC
Supreme FC 3–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–1 Loyal Friends
Saintland is Stupid FC 2–1 To Be Determined
Capital District Crushers 0–0 The Holy Club

Capital District Crushers 3–2 Death to Saintland FC
The Holy Club 2–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
To Be Determined 0–2 FC Bomb Jeckland
Loyal Friends 2–3 Supreme FC
Hicanan War Heroes FC 3–0 Death FC
Heathen Killers FC 1–3 Blue Sky Bombers
Kill The King Klub 1–2 Godly Soccer Club
Gregory Is Great FC 3–3 Strait of Santaguerra CS

Death to Saintland FC 2–2 Gregory Is Great FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–2 Kill The King Klub
Godly Soccer Club 1–3 Heathen Killers FC
Blue Sky Bombers 0–3 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Death FC 3–1 Loyal Friends
Supreme FC 1–2 To Be Determined
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–2 The Holy Club
Saintland is Stupid FC 0–0 Capital District Crushers

And the standings....

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                       20   12   3   5    36   25  +11    39
 2 Capital District Crushers      20   10   5   5    35   28   +7    35
 3 The Holy Club                  20    9   6   5    29   21   +8    33
 4 Kill The King Klub             20   10   3   7    29   25   +4    33
 5 Hicanan War Heroes FC          20    9   5   6    31   25   +6    32
 6 To Be Determined               20   10   2   8    33   30   +3    32
 7 Godly Soccer Club              20    8   7   5    20   17   +3    31
 8 Saintland is Stupid FC         20    9   4   7    36   34   +2    31
 9 Supreme FC                     20    9   3   8    25   23   +2    30
10 Death to Saintland FC          20    7   3  10    31   33   −2    24
11 Loyal Friends                  20    6   6   8    33   42   −9    24
12 FC Bomb Jeckland               20    6   5   9    22   25   −3    23
13 Heathen Killers FC             20    5   6   9    29   33   −4    21
14 Blue Sky Bombers               20    4   8   8    23   28   −5    20
15 Strait of Santaguerra CS       20    4   6  10    28   37   −9    18
16 Gregory Is Great FC            20    3   6  11    32   46  −14    15

Death FC is currently in position to earn promotion to the top flight for the first time, while Capital District Crushers would return after a year's absence. The Holy Club would earn the final SBCC spot, ahead of Kill The King Klub on Goal Difference. Of course, if Kill The King Klub made UICA, they would be forced to temporarily change their name to Karl the Kuddly Koala, but that's life. They'll take it just to play at that level. Hicanan War Heroes FC is a point back of those two, in fifth place, while To Be Determined trails them on Goal Difference. Four other teams have at least 30 points and are no more than three points back of UICA.

After that, the bottom really drops off - Death to Saintland FC and Loyal Friends have 24 points, FC Bomb Jeckland has 23, Heathen Killers FC has 21, Blue Sky Bombers have 20, Strait of Santaguerra CS has 18, and Gregory is Great FC sits in dead last with 15. And we do mean dead last, because they'd all die if the season ended today. And you know it, we know it, everyone knows it.

It's going to be an exciting finish - there are only 10 games left. What will happen? You'll have to wait to find out.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Jun 14, 2015 3:59 pm

Here is the summary and results for Matchdays 21-25 of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League season 7. We've got some exciting games, and there are just five days left after today, so let's find out.

First, the results from Division I.

Island Soccer 1–3 Gruelmakers
Slaves FC 2–5 GSAZ FC
FC 17 June 2–1 Slave Beaters United
Coastal Soccer Club 1–0 Prune Farmers FC
Horse Beaters FC 0–0 Missile Minders
November 5 SC 4–2 Police Squad
AC Enemy Crushers 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Club de Executioners 1–3 Military FC

Gruelmakers 2–0 Club de Executioners
Military FC 1–1 AC Enemy Crushers
AC Pervert Chasers 1–0 November 5 SC
Police Squad 1–0 Horse Beaters FC
Missile Minders 2–3 Coastal Soccer Club
Prune Farmers FC 0–1 FC 17 June
Slave Beaters United 1–1 Slaves FC
GSAZ FC 4–4 Island Soccer

GSAZ FC 0–0 Gruelmakers
Island Soccer 3–5 Slave Beaters United
Slaves FC 1–1 Prune Farmers FC
FC 17 June 2–0 Missile Minders
Coastal Soccer Club 3–2 Police Squad
Horse Beaters FC 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
November 5 SC 2–1 Military FC
AC Enemy Crushers 2–2 Club de Executioners

Gruelmakers 2–0 AC Enemy Crushers
Club de Executioners 0–3 November 5 SC
Military FC 1–0 Horse Beaters FC
AC Pervert Chasers 1–4 Coastal Soccer Club
Police Squad 0–2 FC 17 June
Missile Minders 1–2 Slaves FC
Prune Farmers FC 0–1 Island Soccer
Slave Beaters United 2–3 GSAZ FC

Slave Beaters United 0–1 Gruelmakers
GSAZ FC 0–2 Prune Farmers FC
Island Soccer 4–1 Missile Minders
Slaves FC 4–2 Police Squad
FC 17 June 0–2 AC Pervert Chasers
Coastal Soccer Club 1–1 Military FC
Horse Beaters FC 2–1 Club de Executioners
November 5 SC 2–2 AC Enemy Crushers

And the standings....

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                25   17   4   4    52   16  +36    55 UICA
 2 Slave Beaters United      25   12   7   6    46   37   +9    43
 3 AC Enemy Crushers         25   12   7   6    45   39   +6    43
 4 Island Soccer             25   13   2  10    56   54   +2    41
 5 Prune Farmers FC          25   11   5   9    26   21   +5    38
 6 Coastal Soccer Club       25   10   8   7    45   42   +3    38
 7 Horse Beaters FC          25   11   4  10    26   28   −2    37
 8 Police Squad              25   10   6   9    47   40   +7    36
 9 Gruelmakers               25   10   6   9    24   24    0    36
10 GSAZ FC                   25    9   7   9    54   50   +4    34
11 AC Pervert Chasers        25   10   2  13    24   30   −6    32
12 November 5 SC             25    8   7  10    48   47   +1    31
13 Missile Minders           25    7   8  10    37   40   −3    29
14 Slaves FC                 25    8   3  14    39   67  −28    27
15 Military FC               25    5   7  13    28   39  −11    22
16 Club de Executioners      25    2   7  16    24   47  −23    13

FC 17 June has all but wrapped up their second straight Lord's Trophy and fifth in six seasons, in first by 12 points with five left to play, and are guaranteed some UICA spot. They are almost guaranteed to take the regular season title, but of course what they really care about is the postseason championship. As for who they'll play, Slave Beaters United are currently in a tie with AC Enemy Crushers for second but lead on Goal Differential. Island Soccer would grab the final Globe Cup spot, three points ahead of Prune Farmers FC. The Pruners would miss out on international play for the first time since Champions Cup 56/Globe Cup 53, while Island Soccer would enter UICA for the first time since Globe Cup 53. Coastal Soccer Club, meanwhile, has made a late run in the standings, going 4-1-0 in their last five games to move into sixth. They could be returning to UICA after all. Gruelmakers also took 13 points in the last five games to move into ninth with 36 points. They too could make a late-season surge but time is running out.

At the bottom of the standings, Club de Executioners are all but assured of relegation, 14 points back of Slaves FC. They will need a perfect record from here on out, with the Slaves only managing a single point or less. They'll definitely have the GD edge if that happens - they already do. But Slaves FC has recovered from a horrendous start to take 27 points in their last 15 games. By comparison, having 27 points on Matchday 15 would have put them in UICA position or tied with teams who were, depending on GD. Military FC is the other team in relegation position, but they can still rise above it. It will take some work though. Missile Minders are dropping like a rock, now in 13th place, but should survive this time around.

Now, let's take a look at Division II.

Saintland is Stupid FC 0–1 Death to Saintland FC
Capital District Crushers 0–1 FC Bomb Jeckland
The Holy Club 3–0 Supreme FC
To Be Determined 0–1 Death FC
Loyal Friends 0–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–1 Godly Soccer Club
Heathen Killers FC 2–1 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Kill The King Klub 0–2 Gregory Is Great FC

Death to Saintland FC 1–2 Kill The King Klub
Gregory Is Great FC 1–0 Heathen Killers FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Godly Soccer Club 0–2 Loyal Friends
Blue Sky Bombers 0–1 To Be Determined
Death FC 1–2 The Holy Club
Supreme FC 1–4 Capital District Crushers
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–0 Saintland is Stupid FC

FC Bomb Jeckland 4–2 Death to Saintland FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–1 Supreme FC
Capital District Crushers 1–2 Death FC
The Holy Club 2–2 Blue Sky Bombers
To Be Determined 0–0 Godly Soccer Club
Loyal Friends 1–0 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–3 Gregory Is Great FC
Heathen Killers FC 2–2 Kill The King Klub

Death to Saintland FC 2–2 Heathen Killers FC
Kill The King Klub 3–2 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Gregory Is Great FC 1–2 Loyal Friends
Strait of Santaguerra CS 2–1 To Be Determined
Godly Soccer Club 2–3 The Holy Club
Blue Sky Bombers 2–2 Capital District Crushers
Death FC 1–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
Supreme FC 1–0 FC Bomb Jeckland

Supreme FC 2–4 Death to Saintland FC
FC Bomb Jeckland 0–1 Death FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 2–1 Blue Sky Bombers
Capital District Crushers 2–2 Godly Soccer Club
The Holy Club 1–0 Strait of Santaguerra CS
To Be Determined 2–2 Gregory Is Great FC
Loyal Friends 0–1 Kill The King Klub
Hicanan War Heroes FC 1–3 Heathen Killers FC

And now for the standings....

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                       25   15   4   6    42   29  +13    49
 2 The Holy Club                  25   13   7   5    40   26  +14    46
 3 Kill The King Klub             25   13   4   8    37   32   +5    43
 4 Capital District Crushers      25   11   7   7    44   36   +8    40
 5 Saintland is Stupid FC         25   10   7   8    40   38   +2    37
 6 To Be Determined               25   11   4  10    37   35   +2    37
 7 Godly Soccer Club              25    9   9   7    25   24   +1    36
 8 Hicanan War Heroes FC          25   10   5  10    35   35    0    35
 9 Supreme FC                     25   10   4  11    30   35   −5    34
10 Loyal Friends                  25    9   6  10    38   45   −7    33
11 Death to Saintland FC          25    9   4  12    41   43   −2    31
12 FC Bomb Jeckland               25    8   6  11    27   29   −2    30
13 Heathen Killers FC             25    7   8  10    38   40   −2    29
14 Blue Sky Bombers               25    5  10  10    29   35   −6    25
15 Gregory Is Great FC            25    6   7  12    41   50   −9    25
16 Strait of Santaguerra CS       25    5   6  14    31   43  −12    21

Gregory is Great FC, literally playing for their lives, went 3-1-1 over this stretch and are now in 15th place, clear of the Death Zone. Strait of Santaguerra CS is now in position to die, in just their first year in the league. That would really be a shame, since they're so new, but oh well. They paid the price for their failures. Shame, shame, shame. At the top of the standings, Death FC still leads and now has a comfortable three point lead over The Holy Club for first place. They are six points ahead of Kill The King Klub for promotion. Capital District Crushers sits in fourth, three points out of a UICA spot, closely followed by Saintland Is Stupid FC and To Be Determined.

There is sure to be an exciting sprint to the finish in both divisions. We've got teams playing for their lives, teams looking to redeem themselves, teams looking to continue their dynasties, and much, much more. What will happen? You'll have to stay tuned!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:11 am

Here are the results for Matchdays 26-30 of the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer League Season 7.

Let's start with Division I.

Gruelmakers 1–0 November 5 SC
AC Enemy Crushers 5–5 Horse Beaters FC
Club de Executioners 3–4 Coastal Soccer Club
Military FC 1–1 FC 17 June
AC Pervert Chasers 1–2 Slaves FC
Police Squad 1–2 Island Soccer
Missile Minders 2–4 GSAZ FC
Prune Farmers FC 1–0 Slave Beaters United

Prune Farmers FC 1–0 Gruelmakers
Slave Beaters United 3–3 Missile Minders
GSAZ FC 4–3 Police Squad
Island Soccer 2–1 AC Pervert Chasers
Slaves FC 3–3 Military FC
FC 17 June 1–0 Club de Executioners
Coastal Soccer Club 4–1 AC Enemy Crushers
Horse Beaters FC 0–1 November 5 SC

Gruelmakers 0–1 Horse Beaters FC
November 5 SC 3–1 Coastal Soccer Club
AC Enemy Crushers 0–1 FC 17 June
Club de Executioners 1–1 Slaves FC
Military FC 3–3 Island Soccer
AC Pervert Chasers 0–2 GSAZ FC
Police Squad 3–4 Slave Beaters United
Missile Minders 0–1 Prune Farmers FC

Missile Minders 0–3 Gruelmakers
Prune Farmers FC 1–0 Police Squad
Slave Beaters United 2–0 AC Pervert Chasers
GSAZ FC 1–3 Military FC
Island Soccer 3–2 Club de Executioners
Slaves FC 3–3 AC Enemy Crushers
FC 17 June 1–1 November 5 SC
Coastal Soccer Club 0–1 Horse Beaters FC

Gruelmakers 2–3 Coastal Soccer Club
Horse Beaters FC 0–0 FC 17 June
November 5 SC 3–2 Slaves FC
AC Enemy Crushers 4–2 Island Soccer
Club de Executioners 1–1 GSAZ FC
Military FC 3–5 Slave Beaters United
AC Pervert Chasers 2–1 Prune Farmers FC
Police Squad 3–2 Missile Minders

And now the final standings.

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 FC 17 June                30   19   7   4    56   18  +38    64 CG, LT
 2 Slave Beaters United      30   15   8   7    60   47  +13    53 CG
 3 Island Soccer             30   16   3  11    68   65   +3    51 GLOBE
 4 Prune Farmers FC          30   15   5  10    31   23   +8    50 GLOBE
 5 AC Enemy Crushers         30   13   9   8    58   54   +4    48
 6 Coastal Soccer Club       30   13   8   9    57   52   +5    47
 7 Horse Beaters FC          30   13   6  11    33   34   −1    45
 8 GSAZ FC                   30   12   8  10    66   59   +7    44
 9 Gruelmakers               30   12   6  12    30   29   +1    42
10 November 5 SC             30   11   8  11    56   52   +4    41
11 Police Squad              30   11   6  13    57   53   +4    39
12 AC Pervert Chasers        30   11   2  17    28   39  −11    35
13 Slaves FC                 30    9   6  15    50   78  −28    33
14 Missile Minders           30    7   9  14    44   54  −10    30
15 Military FC               30    6  10  14    41   52  −11    28 REL
16 Club de Executioners      30    2   9  19    31   57  −26    15 REL

Once again, FC 17 June wins the Lord's Trophy and advances to the Championship Game. They will be joined by Slave Beaters United, who came in second. It was an exciting final matchday from the top to the bottom. Island Soccer came in one point ahead of Slave Beaters United for the second Championship Game spot and pulled out to a 2-0 lead over AC Enemy Crushers within the first half hour. However, Enemy Crusher Kicky Baller was called for a foul (and only a foul) for crashing into Islanders goalkeeper Clockmaker K293DBA and knocking him to the ground hard, breaking his right shoulder and arm. He had to leave the game and was replaced by the backup, Lampshade Maker 88348FBA, who was run over by Enemy Crusher Stompy Bally two minutes later and left the game with a concussion. The ref issued a yellow, and only a yellow, to the Enemy Crusher. As emergency goalkeeper Youth 829923ABDN was participating in the Di Bradini Cup and was in the Equestrian States, the Islanders had no remaining goalkeeper and had to go with backup defender Fisherman DDDKEU. He let in one right before the first half ended and another three in the second half as Island Soccer fell 4-2. Combined with Slave Beaters United easily disposing of Military FC, this eliminated Island Soccer from the league but still sent them to the Globe Cup along with Prune Farmers FC. AC Enemy Crushers finished fifth while Coastal Soccer Club made a late run and finished sixth. At the bottom of the table, Military FC and Club de Executioners were relegated.

Let's take a look at Division II.

Death to Saintland FC 0–0 Hicanan War Heroes FC
Heathen Killers FC 2–1 Loyal Friends
Kill The King Klub 2–3 To Be Determined
Gregory Is Great FC 1–3 The Holy Club
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–2 Capital District Crushers
Godly Soccer Club 1–3 Saintland is Stupid FC
Blue Sky Bombers 1–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Death FC 1–0 Supreme FC

Death FC 3–4 Death to Saintland FC
Supreme FC 2–0 Blue Sky Bombers
FC Bomb Jeckland 3–1 Godly Soccer Club
Saintland is Stupid FC 3–0 Strait of Santaguerra CS
Capital District Crushers 2–1 Gregory Is Great FC
The Holy Club 0–3 Kill The King Klub
To Be Determined 2–3 Heathen Killers FC
Loyal Friends 1–1 Hicanan War Heroes FC

Death to Saintland FC 1–0 Loyal Friends
Hicanan War Heroes FC 0–1 To Be Determined
Heathen Killers FC 3–0 The Holy Club
Kill The King Klub 2–1 Capital District Crushers
Gregory Is Great FC 2–4 Saintland is Stupid FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 0–1 FC Bomb Jeckland
Godly Soccer Club 0–1 Supreme FC
Blue Sky Bombers 0–3 Death FC

Blue Sky Bombers 3–1 Death to Saintland FC
Death FC 3–1 Godly Soccer Club
Supreme FC 2–2 Strait of Santaguerra CS
FC Bomb Jeckland 3–2 Gregory Is Great FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–0 Kill The King Klub
Capital District Crushers 1–1 Heathen Killers FC
The Holy Club 2–3 Hicanan War Heroes FC
To Be Determined 0–2 Loyal Friends

Death to Saintland FC 0–0 To Be Determined
Loyal Friends 2–1 The Holy Club
Hicanan War Heroes FC 1–0 Capital District Crushers
Heathen Killers FC 1–1 Saintland is Stupid FC
Kill The King Klub 1–0 FC Bomb Jeckland
Gregory Is Great FC 0–4 Supreme FC
Strait of Santaguerra CS 1–3 Death FC
Godly Soccer Club 4–1 Blue Sky Bombers

And the final standings....

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Death FC                       30   19   4   7    55   35  +20    61 P, SBCC
 2 Kill The King Klub             30   16   4  10    45   37   +8    52 P, SBCC
 3 Saintland is Stupid FC         30   14   8   8    52   42  +10    50 SBCC
 4 The Holy Club                  30   14   7   9    46   38   +8    49
 5 Capital District Crushers      30   13   8   9    50   41   +9    47
 6 To Be Determined               30   13   5  12    43   42   +1    44
 7 Supreme FC                     30   13   5  12    39   38   +1    44
 8 Hicanan War Heroes FC          30   12   7  11    40   39   +1    43
 9 Heathen Killers FC             30   10  10  10    48   45   +3    40
10 Loyal Friends                  30   11   7  12    44   50   −6    40
11 FC Bomb Jeckland               30   11   6  13    34   34    0    39
12 Death to Saintland FC          30   11   6  13    47   49   −2    39
13 Godly Soccer Club              30   10   9  11    32   35   −3    39
14 Blue Sky Bombers               30    7  10  13    34   45  −11    31
15 Gregory Is Great FC            30    6   7  17    47   66  −19    25
16 Strait of Santaguerra CS       30    5   7  18    34   54  −20    22 DEATH

Death FC won the league and the first promotion, along with Kill The King Klub, who will be known as Karl The Kuddly Koala for UICA purposes. Saintland Is Stupid FC took the final SBCC spot, with The Holy Club just missing out after falling to Loyal Friends. Saintland Is Stupid could have been promoted if they beat Heathen Killers on the final matchday, but they only drew. Meanwhile, Strait of Santaguerra CS was executed for finishing last and will be replaced in Division II by Cheese Police Athletic, an official team for Cheese Police, and their kit sponsor will be the Cheese Police Union.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:17 am

Championship Game

Slave Beaters United 2–5 FC 17 June

Goals:

JUNE: Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypo, 11th minute (1-0 JUNE)
SBU: Slave Beater 8230LSNAZBA, 27th minute (1-1 TIE)
JUNE: Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypo, 38th minute (2-1 JUNE)
JUNE: Slave Beater SUAXMC91, 45th+1 minute (3-1 JUNE)
JUNE: Prune Farmer 913881, 67th minute (4-1 JUNE)
SBU: Slave Beater 99933344445, 71st minute (4-2 JUNE)
JUNE: Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypo, 83rd minute (5-2 JUNE)

Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypo received the MVP for his hat trick.

Accordingly, FC 17 June advances to the Champions Cup and Slave Beaters United to the Globe Cup.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:09 am

Here are the results for the Gregoryisgodistan Soccer Cup 7. Let's start with the Round of 32.

Coastal Soccer Club 2–1 Capital District Crushers
Hicanan War Heroes FC 2–3 Horse Beaters FC
AC Pervert Chasers 2–1 FC Bomb Jeckland
Godly Soccer Club 1–1 Death FC (1–1 AET) (5–3 pen.)
Slaves FC 1–1 Club de Executioners (1–1 AET) (6–7 pen.)
Slave Beaters United 1–1 The Holy Club (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Gruelmakers 0–0 Police Squad (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)
AC Enemy Crushers 4–1 Gregory Is Great FC
Death to Saintland FC 1–1 Island Soccer (2–1 AET)
November 5 SC 1–1 Cheese Police Athletic (2–1 AET)
Blue Sky Bombers 0–0 Military FC (2–0 AET)
Saintland is Stupid FC 1–0 Missile Minders
Prune Farmers FC 0–1 FC 17 June
Kill The King Klub 0–1 Loyal Friends
Supreme FC 1–0 To Be Determined
Heathen Killers FC 3–2 GSAZ FC

Now for the Round of 16

November 5 SC 2–1 Godly Soccer Club
Heathen Killers FC 1–0 AC Pervert Chasers
Blue Sky Bombers 1–3 Slave Beaters United
Supreme FC 4–2 AC Enemy Crushers
Club de Executioners 0–1 Horse Beaters FC
Saintland is Stupid FC 0–3 FC 17 June
Police Squad 3–2 Death to Saintland FC
Coastal Soccer Club 1–1 Loyal Friends (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)

Now for the quarterfinals

Slave Beaters United 0–1 FC 17 June
Horse Beaters FC 1–1 Supreme FC (4–2 AET)
November 5 SC 4–0 Heathen Killers FC
Loyal Friends 2–3 Police Squad

The semifinals....

Horse Beaters FC 2–1 Police Squad
FC 17 June 2–1 November 5 SC

And the final....

Horse Beaters FC 0–0 FC 17 June (1–0 AET)

Accordingly, Horse Beaters FC wins the Cup. They will advance to the Cygnus Cup as well as the CEdC.

Gregoryisgodistan Sports Wire (GGSSports.gs)

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