The Jeck Empire Championships - Everything Thread (Finished)

[Jeckland]

Welcome to the inaugral The Jeck Empire Championships!

Soon the wait will finally be over. Soon the games will begin, and soon we will have our champion nation.

Here is the schedule. Schedule is subject to change and I will endeavour to let you know before hand should this happen.

April 28th: Group Draw
April 30th: MD1 (2v5, 3v4)
April 31st: MD2 (1v2, 3v5)
May 1st: MD3 (1v3, 4v5)
May 2nd: MD4 (1v4, 2v3)
May 3rd: MD5 (1v5, 2v4)
May 4th: Off Day
May 5th: Semifinals
May 6th: Third Place Play Off
May 7th: Final

The Participating Teams are as follows

Signups (10)
Jeckland
Sarian Occupied Jeckland
Rossana
Tree Death
Ganadala
Jeckish Chicken Connoiseurs
Deutschland FTW
Vegan Police
Mehdonesia
Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal (Puppet of Mehdonesia

[Jeckland]

IC Information

A warm welcome to Jeckland for The Jeck Empire Championship. Below is a guide telling you what you need to know about Jeckland and it’s stadiums.

Jeckland is a fairly large nation, with a population of 100 million, and the capital is Rack City. The government is central/right-wing, and very big on sport, therefore is very excited about the nation hosting this tournament. There are elections every year in Jeckland, though Jeck Hitchkin has won for 35 years running. The people of Jeckland are also massively excited. 35 million watched Jeck Hitchkin, the leader, declare the games open earlier today. The main language is English, although most people speak a second language. The most common second languages are German, French, Spanish and Chinese.



Group A will be held at The Lingham Arena, in the north of Jecklnad. With a capacity of 70,000, there is bound to be a huge atmosphere.




Group B will be held at Peswick Park in the south. Boasting the same impressive 70,000 capacity, this place will be rocking for every match.




The semifinals, third place play off and final will be a quick MagLev ride away from all competitors in the centre of Jeckland, in Rack City. With a humungous 100,000 seater capacity, it's the one and only Jeckland National Sports Stadium!




The populace of Jeckland wishes you all a enjoyable stay in our country.

[Jeckland]

Reserved

[Jeckland]

Group Draw

Group A
Jeckland
Mehdonesia
Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal
Rossana
Deutschland FTW

Group B
Jeckish Chicken Connoiseurs
Ganadala
Tree Death
Vegan Police
Sarian Occupied Jeckland

The tournament will start friday.

[Jeckland]

Jeckland Roster for The Jeck Empire Championships
Nickname: The Spuds
Formation: 4-2-3-1
Manager: Eric Jones



Starting XI
GK – Lee Evans, 27
Seemed like a wasted talent, but the athletic keeper has matured into the No. 1 jersey in the past two years
RB – Harry Pressley, 31
Had a poor season, but lack of competition means the defensive minded right back retains his spot for now.
CB – Richard Barker, 29 (C)
Bulky Barker has been captain for three years, and the giant defender ‘s strength and heading are second to none.
CB – Karim Al Fatyah, 23
Promising young defender with plenty of pace, but needs to work on technique to hold down a regular place.
LB - Roman Hermanez, 28
Technically gifted left-back is a nailed-down starter and good going forward.
DM – Mikel Grefschip, 32
Fetcher-carrier with an eye for a pass, starting to fade with age.
DM – Rick Nollard, 25
Hard tackler, worker and shooter with a fiery attitude. Starts most games.
RW – Carlo Henriques, 22 – His breakthrough season means the pacy winger will play his part in the BoF campaign.
LW – Afawange Nytnanga, 27 – Skilful with the ball, should start most games despite useless right foot.
AC – Micah Hoonas, 24 – The heartbeat of the team. Creator, set piece taker, finisher – you name it, he can do it.
ST – Leo King, 28 – Strong and quick, he’s currently playing at the top of his game.

Reserves
GK – Len McGhalty, 35
First team keeper for years before age caught up with him.
GK – Toby Thompson, 20
Promising youth made breakthrough this season.
RB – Barry Carson, 26
Gets forward and puts in dangerous crosses, defending needs work.
CB – Fraser Doyle, 25
Reliable yet unspectacular when called upon.
CB – Joe Harnett, 22
Surprise inclusion good in air, good organiser.
LB – Dom Barnes, 31
Talented player recovering from year-long injury.
DM – Sven Johanssen, 24
Tidy tackler, lacks creativity in passing.
DM – Peter Perkins, 27
Deep lying playmaker, blew his first chance with national team.
RW – Max George, 30
Loves cutting inside and defends a bit too.
LW – Sam Roper, 19
Pacy trickster tipped to be future star.
AC – Ollie Watson, 25
Dead ball specialist, not very quick.
ST – Ali Amsif, 23
Man-mountain, deadly at corners.

The Stadium is The Jeckland National Sports Stadium, more commonly known as the JNSS. It seats 100,000, of which 10,000 are away fans.



My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: TG if crazy
RP injuries to my players: TG if injury means they can't paly in the next match
Godmod injuries to my players: TG if crazy
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out red cards to my players: TG if more than 1
Godmod other events: TG if crazy

[Mehdonesia]

GK- Boris 'the bear' Johannsen [C] 32 , Ricardo Gnomes 31 , Bahd Hans-Johnsen 19 , Hyder Lundgren 36

DF- Jack Dawson 22 , Mike Oxlong 69 , Joel Cole 31 , Mike Wilson 22 , Kim Yung-Chum 25 , Ivan Blue 33

FB- Giles Gillingham 29 , Miles Gillingham 26 , Andy Heweer 17 , Billy Allen 18 , Skanda Salvage 23

CM- Grigore Norling 24 , Rab Baanders 27 , Kam Soucy 28 , Plinius 'P-diddy' Gorbould 16 , Mikołaj Naumov 31

RW- Jordan Townsand 21 , Izaak Manns 26 , Nikodem Zielinski 30

LW- Zlatan Nicolosi 28 , Olav 24 , Bjarni Ozoliņš 20

ST- Adán Björnsson 30 , Wilfried Stern 31 , Erasmo Argyris 19 , Rune Wojda 23

Manager- Stan Jockall
Assistant Manager- Casimiro Picasso

Style multiplier- -1.45

RP permissions
TG me if god mod
TG if injuries
Everything else is permitted

[Tree Death]

Tree Death Nightingales: TJECI roster

Overview. A nation with a tendency to disappear and pop up somewhere else, Tree Death has never truly stuck around long enough for a team, other than a brief and successful foray into the pretty-defunct sport of Wolfball. Now, we've stuck around long enough and a random popping into the Jeck Empire has turned into opportunity.

Head Coach: Evan Gellic, aged 65
Style Modifier: 1.732
Formation: 1-4-4-1

GOALIES (BTW, anybody who can guess the reasoning behind the numbers gets brownie points. You're elemental.)

#01 Jeremy Zhou -- 28
#03 Max Lucas -- 21
#11 Charles Maxwell -- 18

DEFENDERS

#04 Lucas Powell -- 25
#12 Raymond Chang -- 23
#20 Calvin Sium -- 29
#38 Barry Devian -- 26
#56 Tommy Mercer -- 23
#88 Eric Melvin -- 18

MIDFIELDERS

#02 Max Winston -- 23
#10 Eric Zhang -- 26 (CAPTAIN)
#18 Marvin Lucin -- 29
#36 Gregory Powell -- 17
#54 Kerry Xu -- 23
#86 Robert Sanches -- 24
#118 Kelvin Harris-Fjord -- 29

STRIKERS

#09 Peter Alexion -- 21
#17 Jeremy Powell -- 29
#35 Kyle Ervine -- 23

[Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal]

GK- Carmen Servas 23 , Angeliki Hakim 25 , Tidir Blaise 17 , Fer Urs-Day 34

DF- Rebecca Black[C] 16 (yes she is only 16 irl) , Steven 'am' Amorton 24 , Afia Hilmarsson 27 , Veronica Simpson 32 , Khadija Thompson 30

FB- Jorien Van Der Hout 28 , Loviise Gardner 27 , Enni Banks 27 , Fer Ont-Seat 26 , Bacc Seaht 28 , Nyah 'peanut butter' Kunze 19

CM- Rike Ansel 17 , Božena Dupont 19 , Larissa Kapadopoukos 31 , Bozhidara Baumgärtner 25 , Jessica Kästner 23 , Alyssia Eriksen 25

RW- Felicity Angelis 25 , Luigi Kasteron 26 , Livia Sneiders 15

LW- Jurgen Kress 29 , Zilla Newton 30 , Amy Castillion 18

ST- Éva Eriksen 28 , Alemayehu Durne 18 , Gota Geet Durne 24 , Kierah King 23

Player/Manager-Rebecca Black
Assistant Manager-Dave Days

Style Multiplier- -5

All RP permitted and encouraged

[Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs]

Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs presents the National Team of Cocoa Island

Executive
Chief Manager - Margaret
Coach - Margaret
Source of all luck, and everything else that is heavenly - Margaret

Players
All of the players of Cocoa Island have strange and exotic names. We don't know where it comes from but we like the variety of names they have! The first XI is composed of players numbered 1-11, so there shouldn't be any confusion there.

Goalkeepers
1. Barack Obama
12. Calvin Coolidge
Midfielders
2. Harry Truman
3. James Polk
4. Thomas Jefferson
5. Grover Cleveland
6. John F. Kennedy
13. Lyndon B. Johnson
14. Jimmy Carter
15. Woodrow Wilson
Strikers
7. Franklin Roosevelt
16. Gerald Ford
Defenders
8. Bush Jr
9. Bush Sr
17. Abraham Lincoln
Fullbacks
10. Bill Clinton
11. George Washington
18. James Madison

RP Permissions
Anything is permissable.

[Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal]

Guys here is Stan Jockall's secret strategy for the tournament, the Mehdonesian tree.

[Mehdonesia]

Here are Rebecca Black's planned tactics for the tournament.

[Deutschland FTW]

Goalkeepers
Oop Sydroppedit
Ann Otherowwngoal
Defenders
Iswehr hedivedref
Iha Venopace
Ica nthinkofanymore
John Smith
Midfielders
Iswehr idintref
Ihog TheBall
Ivenevher Scored
Ial Wayspass
Strikers
Idive Alot
Igo Tpace
Ioft Enscore

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: TG if crazy
RP injuries to my players: TG if injury means they can't paly in the next match
Godmod injuries to my players: TG if crazy
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Y
Hand out red cards to my players: TG if more than 1
Godmod other events: TG if crazy

[Jeckland]

Cutoff- your rosters and RPs from this point on count towarsds the next matchday. Rosters will now be graded on a scale of 0-2, then I will scorinate and edit the results into this post. Best of luck.

EDIT: And results. If your team has not yet played they are not included in the table.

Group A
Mehdonesia 1–1 Deustchland FTW
Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal 0–1 Rossana

  Group A                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Rossana                                   1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Deustchland FTW                           1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Mehdonesia                                1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal      1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group B
Ganadala 0–1 Sarian Occupied Jeckland
Tree Death 2–1 Vegan Police

  Group B                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tree Death                                1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
2 Sarian Occupied Jeckland                  1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Vegan Police                              1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
4 Ganadala                                  1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

[Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal]

Rebecca Black has released a statement claiming that the game played by Rossana was very immoral , as the actual statement was far too rude for posting, we here apologise for the lack of words;

"*** was that referee *** blind *** *** ***, this is an outrage there's no way that this *** should count. If that manager has any honor then I'm expecting a *** rematch pretty *** soon. *** this game and *** this tournament!"

Following the event the goalscorer is now known as 'he who shall not be named' and all recorded instances of his name have been destroyed, here is a picture of Rebecca Black's face after the incident

<image deleted>

During the game 3 of Gotta Have My Bowl Gonna Have Cereal's players were sent off; Afia Hilmarsson , Alyssia Eriksen and Loviise Gardner however all of these have been appealed and Rebecca Black is sue-ing the referee in Gotta Have My Bowl Gonna Have Cereal court on tuesday.

This initial loss leaves Gotta Have My Bowl Gonna Have Cereal at the bottom of their group following a draw between Mehdonesia and Deutschland FTW, Mehdonesia are now on a fifteen game losing streak having only won one of their twenty one games so far.

Dominique Young Nojnique, Rebecca Black's personal scribe.

[Mehdonesia]

After a long game lacking dynamics Stan Jockall claims his team has 'space for improvement' , for the majority of the first half Mehdonesia dominated and retained possession as was shown by a beautiful 32 minute goal from Erasmo Argyris from 25 yards out. However in the second half the dominance completely fell away as is shown by the fall in possession from 76% in the first to 23% in the second and eventually defending described by Skanda Salvage as 'sloppy' left a clear goal in front of Idive Alot, who hit the post twice before claiming the penalty off of the fingertip of Joel Cole which was easily scored by experienced player John Smith in the 78th minute. The only other event to happen in this game was the foul on the outside of the box from Iha Venopace which captain Johannsen claimed was in the box, a free-kick was given and Venopace was yellow carded.

Noj NeeNee , Mehdonesian Times SPORTS

[Mehdonesia]

And here is the image which Rebecca Black censored from Dominique Young Nojnique's article;

[Rossana]

---

THE ROSSANESE ROSTER FOR

---

Quick Information and Formation

---

Manager: Donald Dearborn

Head Coach: John Turret

Assistant Coach: Anthony Diaz

Assistant Coach: Peter Murray

Captain: Will O'Kelly

Free Kick Taker: Ryan Archer

Penalty Taker: Luca Riano

Style Modifier: +1

Formation: 4 - 5 - 1

---

Playstyle

---

Playing in a rather unique 4 - 5 -1 formation, the Rossanese team plays quite moderately, but attacks just a little more than it defends. With Luca Riano being the sole attacker in the team, he relies heavily on Will O' Kelly, and Alan Pearl to provide passes, with Terrence Adams acting as a backup striker during offensive play, staying behind Riano, to recollect the ball just in case Riano loses control of it. However, Pearl tends to stay a behind a little more than O'Kelly, who is usually the one that assists Adams in getting the ball to Riano.

Ryan Archer and Danny Ford serve as the regular midfielders, occasionally helping in offensive operations, but usually don't exit a radius of 15 meters from the half-line. Archer and Ford usually defend more than they attack.

In the defense, Gareth Everett and Robin Wright usually occupy the wings, only heading to the center of the defensive part of the field to aid Simon Retz and Jake Clark in urgent defensive operations. Retz and Clark usually play in the center, and rarely go o either of the wings, the opposite of Everett and Wright. They usually clear the ball after successful repelled attacks.

---

Roster

---

C denotes captain

V denotes vice-captain

Bold text denotes starter

Grey text denotes substitute

Position	Player Name	Age	Jersey Number
Goalkeeper (GK)	Foster, Roy	25	1
Goalkeeper (GK)	Grey, Peter	21	12
Goalkeeper (GK)	Lynn, David	21	13
Defender (DL)	Everett, Gareth	26	2
Defender (DC)	Retz, Simon	24	3
Defender (DC)	Clark, Jake	25	4
Defender (DR)	Wright, Robin	24	5
Defender (DC)	Redrock, Bart	20	14
Defender (DR)	Quinn, Damian	21	15
Midfielder (ML)	C O'Kelly, Will	26	6
Midfielder (MC)	Archer, Ryan	23	7
Midfielder (MC)	Ford, Danny	25	8
Midfielder (MR)	Pearl, Alan	24	9
Midfielder (ML)	Andrews, Leo	21	16
Midfielder (MR)	Luxington, Edgar	20	17
Striker (AC)	V Adams, Terrence	23	10
Striker (FC)	Riano, Luca	25	11
Striker (AC)	Klein, Anderson	20	18

[Tree Death]

Group B
Ganadala 0–1 Sarian Occupied Jeckland
Tree Death 2–1 Vegan Police

  Group B                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tree Death                                1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
2 Sarian Occupied Jeckland                  1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Vegan Police                              1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
4 Ganadala                                  1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Nightingales Edge Vegans in Jeckland
Victory has Tree Death shooting for the stars

PESWICK PARK, JECKLAND -- Here at the majestic 70,000-seat Jeckish stadium that goes by the smoothly alliterative "Peswick Park", our very own Nightingales defeated Vegan Police handily by a final score of two to one.

Tree Death 2 - 1 Vegan Police

Zhang 42', Alexion 74' Unknown 48'

Eight shots (five on goal), 59% Possession Six shots (four on goal), 41% Possession

Xu for Winston 64', Mercer for Powell 70', Ervine for Alexion 82'

The game began quite lethargically, with nearly no opportunities coming out of the first half of the first half. There was not much in the way of shooting, and passes were constrained mostly to short ones, with any long kicks tending to fall into the defense's hands. It was shoddy offense, to be sure, with a present if a bit meager side helping of overwhelming defense. Neither team moved the ball nearly enough, and the match began to drag on a bit long for the more impatient fans watching.

Things all changed around the thirty-sixth minute, an exact number to be sure, but certainly what happened. Chang took the ball from the apathetic opposition, dribbled upfield to the playmaking talent of Max Winston, and cut back. Winston took the ball up the left, then hit a beautiful cross-field shot to Gregory Powell, who made an excellent shot that rang off the crossbar. Striker Peter Alexion made a play at the rebound, but alas, the Vegan goalie jumped out to block him.

The Vegans had an unsuccessful run, although with a bit more spark than previously and very dragged-out and perhaps wavelike, and Devian intercepted a shoddy pass by his opponents about midway between the 18-yard box and the six-yard box. The ball was passed about and Lucin caught one well south of midfield. He spun, fired to Powell, who in turn found the captain Eric Zhang a few yards away from the box. Zhang passed to Winston, who made a beautiful play at Powell. Alas, Powell's shot was off target.

In a surprising turn of events, the goalie's kick was woefully short, and a pouncing Winston was quick to take back possession. The agile playmaker went down into the box, but the youngster's shot was off the post. Zhang came quickly to tap it back into the goal, but he was tackled harshly and brought down. A yellow card was called on the play, and Zhang capitalized, easily banking a PK past the goalie.

The half ended, and the Vegans began to dominate the start of the second half, as a young striker was quick to shoot one by Jeremy Zhou in the forty-eighth minute. But from then on, momentum gradually shifted back towards the Nightingales, crescendoing to a seventy-fourth minute goal by Peter Alexion, who received a slick pass from Kerry Xu and kicked one off the post and in. From then on, things were about neutral, as neither team had real opportunity to squander. The game ticked to its end and the Nightingales celebrated their victory.

[Rossana]

At the Rossanese National Team's Hotel

After celebrating their 1-0 win against Gonna have my bowl gonna have cereal, the Rossanese National Football Team sat down in the hotel's conference room to discuss their schedules and upcoming matches...

Dearborn: In the center of the room, in front of a sketch of a football pitch with pinpoints and elaborate lines, the 59 year old manager of the team, Donald Dearborn, opened the conversation: "So, once again, a great game against Gonna have my bowl gonna have cereal, we could have scored a little more, but, still, we are on the top of the group."

After a cue of applause, he continued:

Dearborn: Now, our next opponents are Deutschland FTW, they seem to be a moderate team, according to analysis, and they tied 1-1 against Mehdonesia today. However, we won't be playing them until the day after, tomorrow's our off-day. Now, I'll give y'all tomorrow's afternoon off, but I want all of you to come to the training grounds - we'll be trying different tactics.

Adams: Terrence Adams, who put in a diving header from a corner, making him the lone scorer of the match, spoke up: "What kind of tactics?"

Dearborn: "You'll see in just a moment. Today, we'll get the theory straight, tomorrow, we'll put it into action.", was the manager's reply. Then, turning back to the whiteboard with the picture of the field, he picked up a marker and drew 6 vertical lines along the width of the pitch. The first 2 were on either sides of the first penalty arc, the next 2 were in on either sides of the half-line, bordering the extremities of the center-line. The last 2 were the same as the first 2 - but on the other side of the pitch, on the other penalty arc. "Do any of you have any idea of what this is?", he asked.

O'Kelly: Will O'Kelly, the one who chipped the ball to Adams in the 58th minute from the left corner, allowing him to score, gave his opinion: "Will we be placed along those lines in a special position?", he asked.

Dearborn: "Almost.", he said with a small grin. "You see, you'll all be placed in between those lines.", guiding the team with his index finger, he explained. "Let's start with the defense. Retz, Clark, you two will be staying in between these lines," he said, pointing to the blank area between the 2 first lines. Two men in the left of the room nodded their heads. "You shouldn't be exiting these lines very often, if at all.

Dearborn: Then, turning back to the board, he said: "Everett, you'll be covering the area between the second and third lines," the manager said. "you'll be constantly moving up and down the pitch, but your focus will remain in this general area.", he said, drawing an imaginary oval on the top-left part of the field. If you see threats on your wing, go and block, but don't go too far off.", he said. A man in the center of the room nodded his head in comprehension, digesting his manager's words with a pensive look on his face.

Dearborn: Smiling in approval, once again, he turned his head back to the board, and instructed the last defender, Robin Wright: "Wright, your job will be pretty much identical to Everett's, you'll be using the same area of the field, but on the opposite side," he said, tracing a line across the bottom-left part of the pitch. "Remember, don't go out too far, block in case of threats, and don't inch towards the center too much, got it?", another man in the room nodded.

Dearborn: Seeing that he was seemingly doing a good job explaining, Dearborn moved on to the midfield, with 5 midfielders instead of the standard 3 or 4, it was going to be harder: "OK, on to the midfielders now,", he said. "Let's start with Archer and Ford," he started. 2 men leaned forward in attention. "I want you two to cover what's sort of like a trapezoid." Dearborn said. "I want you to cover the area between Everett, Retz, Clark, Wright, and your starting positions.", he said. With 5 midfielders, you 2 will be principally defending. If you see attacks coming from the center midfield, don't hesitate to block them, but if they get past about 2/3 of the area between the second and third lines, switch to marking opponents. But don't go too much not the sides - that's Everett, Wright, O'Kelly and Pearl's job."

Ryan Archer and Danny Ford nodded in approval.

Dearborn: "Speaking of O'Kelly and Pearl, let's talk about your jobs now.", the manager continued. "You two will be covering the wing area between the 3rd and 5th lines, with a slightly offensive stance.", he said, waving his hand around the area of the pitch he just mentioned. "You'll be trying to either get towards the 5th line to get a cross directly to Riano, or you can get to the area about halfway between the 4th and 5th lines, to use Adams as a decoy. I don't want you 2 going too far, that would make it too hard to get the ball into the center of the field.", he said, content after finishing another section of the explanation.

Dearborn: He then turned to the center of the room, where the 2 attackers of the team were seated. "Now, to the offense,", he started. "Adams, I want you to stay between the 4th and 5th lines, with a moderate stance." he said. "You'll be mostly recollecting from Riano from behind, sort of like a backup. You'll be mostly receiving passes from the entire midfield, so pay attention to your back as well as your two sides."

Then, Turning to Riano, he said: "Riano, you'll be generally between the 6th line and the goal line, sort of like a six-yard poacher," he said, waving around the penalty spot. "You'll have to be pretty sneaky, try to be unmarked as much as possible. You'll be constantly receiving passes from Adams, who'll be behind you, as well as a few crosses from O'Kelly and Pearl, on the wings. You'll need to have fast reflexes and good control of the ball, we'll try to focus a little more on that tomorrow."

Then, putting the cap back on his marker, he put it back on his desk, and called an end to the conference. Exiting the room to the lounge, the players were motivated for tomorrow, they were prepared for whatever awaited them.

[Jeckland]

Stand up, if you love cutoffs
Stand up, if you love cutoffs

Okay, I'll stop...

Group A
Deustchland FTW 0–1 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal
Jeckland 0–1 Mehdonesia

  Group A                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mehdonesia                                2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
2 Rossana                                   1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal      2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
4 Deustchland FTW                           2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
5 Jeckland                                  1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group B
Sarian Occupied Jeckland 0–3 Tree Death
Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs 1–0 Ganadala

  Group B                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tree Death                                2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs              1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Sarian Occupied Jeckland                  2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
4 Vegan Police                              1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
5 Ganadala                                  2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

[Rossana]

At the Rossanese National Team's Hotel

It was dusk. In an attempt to get a little more knowledge on Deutschland FTW's play style, the Rossanese National Team sat down to watch their match against Gotta Have My Bowl Gotta Have My Cereal.

GHMBGHC-Deutschland FTW Match Commentator: "And there's Castillion, to Felicity Angelis, Angelis, stuck in the middle, she goes for the pass to Eriksen - and a good interception of the ball by John Smith...

Riano: "They've got some bloody fast reflexes, 'em defenders", said Luca Riano, lone striker if the team.

Everett: Gareth Everett, oldest member of the team and defender, said: "Nah, do't sweat it mate. from experience, that was just pure luck. His foot was at the right place at the right time.", he said, throwing some more popcorn in his mouth.

Riano: "If you say so..."

GHMBGHC-Deutschland FTW Match Commentator: "And Smith clears, Wayspass collects the ball, Dupont coming to pressure him - Wayspass holds, and, a small pass back to Hedivedref, he really didn't have the choice there. And Hedivedref sends the ball to Theball, and a smooth tackle from Eriksen regains possession of the ball for GHMBGHC.

Archer: Ryan Archer, a midfielder, remarked: "Well they seem to be more offensive than we thought..."

Riano: "I'm not sure, their attacks haven't been too solid so far."

Wright: "But still, you can't compare that way, GHMBGHC aren't that bad at defending either."

Everett: "I told you, it's luck that they have."

Wright: "What about that time in the 21st minute? Smith managed to outmaneuver Eriksen, Castillion, and Angelis in one move."

Everett: "Well most of the time, I guess..."

GHMBGHC-Deutschland FTW Match Commentator: "Deutschland FTW are biding their time now, they're just playing it along the midfield, Scored, to Wayspass, and, a chip forward to Alot, Alot to Tpace, there may be a chance of a goal! Tpace, Tpace passes Thompson, Tpace shoots! And it bangs off the upright, Hilmarsson clears."

Everett: "See, that was luck. Tpace should have scored there."

Wright: "Fine, if you say so.", he said, with an annoyed face.

Adams: "Well he is right, Rob, Tpace really should have scored there, I think it was that pressure from Black. An excellent opportunity there."

Wright: "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

GHMBGHC-Deutschland FTW Match Commentator: "And Kunze receives the ball, a sharp curve pass to A. Eriksen, a nice counter-attack, A. Eriksen passes Venopace, A. Eriksen, a sharp exterior foot pass to E. Eriksen, and Eriksen - SCORES! 81st MINUTE GOAL!

Pearl: "Well that probably demotivated them..."

Ford: "Yeah, pretty much..."

Everett: "Well it ain't over yet, 9 minutes plus additional time for one goal isn't impossible..."

Retz: "But still, they are pretty demotivated if you ask me, they're just basically walking around now.

And Alan Pearl, Danny Ford, and Simon Retz were correct, Deutschland FTW had no more moral, and it was a surprise for the team to not see at least one more goal from GHMBGHC. The Rossanese team now knew a little more about the team, and, switching off the television, they went for dinner and then to sleep, with confidence in their minds - they were confident on winning.

[Mehdonesia]

Despite acknowledging from the start that a game against local, but friendly rivals Jeckland would be a great struggle due to the home advantage, Mehdonesia remain undefeated so far in the tournament after claiming a 1-0 victory earlier this afternoon at the Lingham Arena despite only having 2000 fans in the stadium. This was mainly because tickets went on sale during the riot crisis and therefore only the aristocrat population were able to attend the game.

The game started in rainy weather which was another advantage as only the forest regions of Mehdonesia get near average regional rainfall, however the first half started off fairly equally, for the first 20 minutes the only notable player was Micah Hoonahs, who was exemplary throughout the game despite his teammate's substandard performances.He weighted every pass through to Leo King beautifully however he failed to capitalise on any opportunities, he also had several chances on goal himself during this time-including an attempt from 32 yards out which Johanssen only just managed to tip onto the crossbar- Hoonahs is undoubtedly at the peak of his game and it shows in his football. Moving towards the 30 minute mark Jockall saw that this strategy wasn't working and changed to a 4-4-2 formation, bringing off Olav for aging striker Wilfried Stern;

This change was very effective, dangerman Micah Hoonahs no longer had the space between the defence and midfield to work in and this meant that he wasn't able to do as much. Mehdonesia kept possession for almost the entirety of the second half however they only had one attempt on goal in the entire half- Plinius 'P-Diddy' Gorbould shot a powerful low header from Baanders' corner but couldn't direct the ball- compared to the six which Jeckland had in the early half.

As the second half began Jones made only one sub, as Leo King had played surprisingly disappointingly throughout the the half he swapped with Ali Amsif meanwhile Jockall substituted the exhausted Yung-Chum for Jack Dawson. The game quickly returned to the same boring stalemate as in the first half, a few desperate long balls to Amsif led to offsides being called- of which many were disputed by captain Richard Barker, which led to his yellow card in the sixty first minute of the match and a few minutes later an aggressive tackle from Jack Dawson also led to him being yellow carded.

By the time that the final substitution came around in the 72nd minute, many of the spectators were sleeping due to the complete stalemate reached, there had not been a single opportunity in the second half for either side and the bore draw was imminent. What Jockall described as an 'all or nothing' tactic involved Joel Cole coming off to create a 3-5-2 with Izaak Manns in the central position;

With great fluency the Mehdonesian side adapted into a quick passing game, a barrage of attempts on goal immediately beginning to wear down the defence; firstly Manns whipped the ball towards the head of Stern who hit the crossbar, then Stern's low shot was saved by Lee Evans, Zielinski hit the post from a long shot before Argyris' attempt on the rebound was cleared off the goalline by Hoonas. Finally in the 81st minute (if only it was only 80) Bjarni Ozoliņš shot was deflected towards the head of Argyris who smashed the ball into the bottom corner of the net. The celebration involved a five minute dance routine at the end of which youngster Erasmo was thrown into the screaming Mehdonesian fans, as the 'hype' died down the game returned to Jeckland desperately trying to equalise however despite some greedy attempts from Hoonas they were unable to hit a shot on target and the game ended rather uneventfully.

Following the win we got an interview with Stan Jockall himself;

This win leaves you top of the table, do you feel you can win this?

If we perform like we did today in all of our matches then we can certainly win the group, however with how strong Tree Death are looking i'm genuinely not sure that we can beat them, we're watching the replays from their matches tonight with a fine comb to find anything to exploit.

Prior to the match Jack Dawson was complaining about the lack of game time he had for the team, do you feel he has proven himself today?

To be honest he has a long way to go in my opinion, he shows the occasional magical moment but he isn't consistent. Also he is very aggressive, he was the only player on the team with a card today. We will wait and see, he's only 22 after all.

Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal won their first official game today, thoughts?

It's a good result for them, however i still do not consider them challengers in this tournament, it's the things such as Rebecca Black's patience and bad sportswomanship

(Rebecca Black recently ranted about the referee following a loss to Rossana)

Which really hinders the team and I'd be surprised if they win any more games in the days to come.

Finally, youngster Erasmo Argyris has scored all of your goals so far, if he were to suddenly dissapear do you think you would still be able to capitalise near goal?

Why? WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM?! NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY ONE FINGER.... sorry I lost my temper there, I'm going to go and check on Erasmo now.

Noj NeeNee , Mehdonesian Times SPORTS

[Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal]

National Holiday: Victory In Jeckland (VJ) Day

Gotta Have My Bowl Gonna Have Cereal's first official win has now been announced as the reason for a new national holiday, this now officially makes GHMBGHC the least productive country in existence due to the mandatory days off on every Friday and Saturday as well (okay that one wasn't clever). This is following the 1-0 victory over Deutschland FTW earlier, Rebecca Black didn't attend the match due to her sideline ban, as a result assistant manager Dave Days made the necessary changes to the line-up following the banned player (two of the three bans were successfully appealed) Loviise Gardner , instead Jorien Van Der Hout started the game and Rebecca Black was replaced by Veronica Simpson.

In a fairly uneventful game with no bookings and very few chances on goal, instead of boring details here is a simple summary.

00 minutes Game starts.

38 minutes Tpace gets a good shot at goal however he misses.

45 minutes Half Time, nothing has happened.

56 minutes Kress switches with Castillion , Sneiders for Angelis

81 minutes Alyssia Eriksen puts through Eva Eriksen on goal and she shoots it into the top corner.

90 minutes Game ends 1-0

Rebecca Black merely stated;

"I am proud of the performance and hope that this shows how females can be just as good as males in sports, let's please just consider how we should all be equal and how subtle differences shouldn't be taken into account ; our male team was on a 14 game losing streak and this new roster has won their second game. I am seriously hoping that this can be an example of female equality. Also in regard to the firing of Dominique Young Nojnique, that had nothing to do with the attempt to post that picture, it was purely personal differences."

Michael Nojlé, Rebecca Black's personal scribe

PS Here's Rebecca Black celebrating at the team afterparty

[Jeckland]

As promised a belated cutoff.

EDIT: And here are your MD3 results. Cutoff will be at the normal time tomorrow.

Group A
Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal 1–0 Jeckland
Rossana 3–4 Deustchland FTW

  Group A                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal      3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
2 Mehdonesia                                2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Deustchland FTW                           3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
4 Rossana                                   2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
5 Jeckland                                  2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

Group B
Tree Death 3–2 Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs
Vegan Police 1–2 Sarian Occupied Jeckland

  Group B                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tree Death                                3   3  0  0    8   3  +5    9
2 Sarian Occupied Jeckland                  3   2  0  1    3   4  −1    6
3 Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs              2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Vegan Police                              2   0  0  2    2   4  −2    0
5 Ganadala                                  2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

[Jeckland]

Cutoff after a busy day of RP's

EDIT: Results. Teams in green have won their group, blue have qualified, and red cannot qualify.

Group A
Jeckland 0–5 Rossana
Mehdonesia 3–1 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal

  Group A                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mehdonesia                                3   2  1  0    5   2  +3    7
2 Rossana                                   3   2  0  1    9   4  +5    6
3 Gotta have my bowl gonna have cereal      4   2  0  2    3   4  −1    6
4 Deustchland FTW                           3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
5 Jeckland                                  3   0  0  3    0   7  −7    0

Group B
Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs 2–2 Vegan Police
Ganadala 0–6 Tree Death

  Group B                                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tree Death                                4   4  0  0   14   3 +11   12
2 Sarian Occupied Jeckland                  3   2  0  1    3   4  −1    6
3 Jeckish Chicken Connoisseurs              3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
4 Vegan Police                              3   0  1  2    4   6  −2    1
5 Ganadala                                  3   0  0  3    0   8  −8    0