World Junior Hockey Championships VI (Everything thread)

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

MD1

Group A
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 6–1 York People
Sicoutimont 4–1 Lzherusskia

Group B
Edgelandia 2–0 San Jose Guayabal
The Channel 4 News Team 3–0 Vettrera

Group C
Super-Llamaland 3–0 New North Aqmuland
Perlasilangan 3–3 Nassau-Hessen

Group D
Ko-oren 3–0 Cotdelapoms
Britonisea 3–2 Darmen

Group E
Nova Anglicana 1–2 Arctic snowlands
Andita 2–4 Jeckland

Group F
Estenia 0–1 Taffy 3
Cassadaigua 2–4 Transalpine Republic

Group G
Kolmya 2–4 Gallund
Gregoryisgodistan 3–1 Patistan

Group H
Norrehavn 3–5 Vaugania
Muriburiland 1–0 Back in the DPRK

Table to be released in MD2.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Gregoryisgodistan 3–1 Patistan

"Hello. I'm Sportscaster XJASHAU81389 here to bring you Junior Ice Slaves hockey here on the Sports Channel. Patistan is the opponent. Sadly, they were too stupid to even submit a roster, which means highly insulting names and possibly some crushing as revenge. This should be fun.

...

"17:32 left in the first period, Ugly Buttman skates down the ice and is checked hard into the boards by Enemy Crusher in Training Fatty McFattel Jr. I mean really hard. He's not moving. But now Enemy Crusher in Training Fatty McFattel Jr. is adding insult to injury by crushing Buttman, who he thinks is faking injury to draw a penalty. I think Buttman is dead. Yes, he is. They will take him off in a body bag. They want to call a penalty on Enemy Crusher in Training Fatty McFattel Jr. but he is threatening to crush the refs if they do so. They will do it anyway, and now Enemy Crusher in Training Fatty McFattel Jr. and his teammates are crushing the officials. Yes, they are dead. Here comes the alternate crew, who is so scared for their lives they agree to overturn the penalty on Enemy Crusher in Training Fatty McFattel Jr. and never call one on Gregoryisgodistan the rest of the game.

...

"6:01 left in the first period, here comes Slavecatcher in Training MZ99329 on a pass from Pervert Chaser KAJNZB. He shoots. SCORE!!!!!!! GREGORYISGODISTAN LEADS 1-0! Great shot top right corner. Wow. What an excellent shot.

...

"14:02 second period, and here comes Dumbo Dumbini and he will score for Patistan to level the score at 1. Unfortunate goal allowed by Enemy Crusher Furfy "Junior Fatso" McFattel but he is crushing Dumbini as revenge. Dumbini is dead. Ding dong, Dumbini's dead! Victory shall be ours!

...

"1:03 left in the third period. We're getting ready for a faceoff in the Patistan defensive zone. But all the enemy crushers are suddenly running onto the ice and they are going to start crushing the Patistani team. Everyone on the ice, all six players including the goaltender, have been crushed, and now they are heading for the Patistani bench. The players are fleeing to the locker room and the enemy crushers instead opt to crush the Patistani fans. All the fans are dead, the players have headed to the locker room, but the game needs to continue. The refs will drop the puck after being threatened by the enemy crushers if they declare the game a forfeit. So we will have a faceoff between Slave Beater XKA99U291 and nobody. And Gregoryisgodistan naturally wins the faceoff and will score easily as there is nobody in the net or anywhere else on the ice. Goal for Enemy Crusher in Training Fatso McGee, letting the defenseman get into it because why not.

"And now there are 55 seconds left in the game and still now Patistanis on the ice. Now their coach runs out screaming at the officials and he is getting crushed by the enemy crushers. The Patistani coach is dead. Good job enemy crushers. Meanwhile the game is continuing with still now Patistani players. Looking for the two goal lead, Pervert Chaser in Training Z0000129 passes to Enemy Crusher in Training Zucchini Flipkens, who skates down the ice and scores on nobody with 8 seconds left after doing some elaborate moves and crushing a Quebecois fan for the fun of it. The puck just sat there for the 30 seconds it took to do that. And then he scored. 3-1 Junior Ice Slaves.

"Gregoryisgodistan wins the faceoff, naturally, and Assassin ZUCA0139 will shoot it down the ice to try to make it 4-1 before the final whistle but it hits the post and bounces away. 3-1 is your final. Gregoryisgodistan deals a crushing blow to Patistan. I have been planning that line since the last tournament. I thought of it too late to use then, but now I have used it. Finally! See you tomorrow night!"

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Hockey Quebec punishes Gregoryisgodistan for on-ice deaths

Iqaluit- Hockey Quebec, in a surprising move that raised the eyebrows of many, has disciplined Gregoryisgodistan U-20 National Team for the murders committed by their players which left 8 Patistani players, entire coaching staff, as well as 4 on-ice officials and a Quebecois fan dead.

Today's decision came just after a backlash raised by Mike Anderson, the President of Quebec Hockey League, regarding the safety of playing against any other teams. Following the crushing of 15 people on Gregoryisgodistani-Patistan game at Robert Agpik Arena last night,

"We cannot let this happen," said Mr. Anderson, who immediately called a press-conference following the game. "Hockey Quebec needs to take some serious actions against Gregoryisgodistani Team for committing on-ice massacre on all accounts."

Jacques Lemieux, the President of Hockey Quebec, agreed, stating that "what the Enemy crushers did in Iqaluit last night was unjustifiable on all accounts, and deserves what they deserve".

Gregoryisgodistan will play, for the rest of its games on group stage, in front of 12,000 seats at Robert Agpik Arena in Iqaluit. The guilty will also be shot from this point, should they crush an opponent delegate, official or fan to death, with no exception. In addition to that Gregoryisgodistan will face $10 million Quebecois Dollars in fines, to be paid by the end of June. If not accepted, according to Mr.Lemieux, the U-20 team will not be allowed to participate in future competitions hosted by the Royal Kingdom of Quebec.

The punishment was the stiffest yet to be issued by Hockey Quebec in its years of hosting international tournaments......

If you're interested in reading more, Please log in.

[Britonisea]

Britannual News

Yay, We beat Darmen!

Group D
Ko-oren 3–0 Cotdelapoms
Britonisea 3–2 Darmen

This is our first World Junior Hockey Championships and we beat Darmen. Totally unexpected. Why? because the Juniors from Britonisea are rubbish!! We are thrilled that we won. Micheal Tyson, a local pub owner, said "Go on, my son. He so good. We all love him to the bottom of our hearts and he is going very far and that is what he wants. Just as long as he brings me the mone... I mean hugs and kisses. We will see him soon. Weldone to Ko-oren as well. By 2nd favourite team" He then ran up to the Britonisean hills sing 'The sound of Music- The Remix'



(Sorry for the short RP: I took all my ideas out on the World Handball Champs)

[Gregoryisgodistan]

From the Desk of Lord Almighty Gregory

Dear Mr. Anderson,

I am writing to express my wishes that you take no further action against our brave and noble enemy crushers. If you attempt to kill any of our enemy crushers, Quebec will be added to our enemy list, meaning it will be legal and rewardable to kill any Quebecois citizen within our borders. We urge you not to shoot our enemy crushers.

As for the fine, will you accept payment in greggygodbucks, our currency? According to the latest exchange rates, 21.3 billion greggygodbucks is equivalent to 10 million Quebecois dollars. Upon acceptance of these terms, our treasury will wire this money to your federation. Please let me know ASAP if this is acceptable or if we need to first convert it to your currency.

I once again remind you that we have our strength of several thousand solar powered bombs, all of which have the strength of atomic bombs, which we will use against your country if any of our enemy crushers get hurt or killed. We will eliminate you. We will destroy you. We will crush you if you destroy our crushers. I urge you to strongly reconsider your plans to interfere with the operation of our enemy crushers. Failure to change your mind may result in serious injury or death to your citizens.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Lord Almighty Gregory

[Jeckland]

"And it will commence tonight"

Jeck Hitchkin, leader of Jeckland, put the phone down, just as a short, serious man knocked on his door.

"Enter"

Albert Hedgewick, Jeckland Military Commander, walked in. "I'll get straight to the point" he said. "I've seen men preparing the bombers, and as the military commander I think I should know if there is a military operation occuring"

"No, this is not a military operation. Although it uses bombers, it is more of a propoganda thing."

"Explain."

Hitchkin leant forward in his chair. "You remember the last World Junior Hockey Championships, when Gregoryisgodistan's Crushers killed the Patitstani team"

"Yes?"

"They've done it again"

It took Hedgewick a while to process this, but he soon blurted "We should go to war with them!"

"With Gregoryisgodistan? No, no. They have solar bombs, remember?"

"Ah, yes. So what's the plan"

"Well if we can't fight them... we can educate them"

More to follow next MD

[The Channel 4 News Team]

~~ CHAPTER TWO ~~
The Nineteen Bus

Dead, broken trees flitted past the metal-lidded firm plastic windows, splattered in grime and dirt from years of use with little clear rain. Nobody knew how the bus was still functioning: firstly, most of the people who could repair it had died a long time ago, and those willing to repair it were even less common. Secondly, when most of the cars and trucks now lay abandoned due to lack of fuel, the nineteen bus was never refuelled. Ever. It was a conundrum that only the scientists and inventors could have answered before the great incident. It was powered by sunlight, the solar panelled roof providing all the electrical power necessary for the bus to continue to move and to accelerate. But the residents of the bus did not know of this. They just assumed that it was somehow magical.

Rennie Ecossebus III VRex had driven the bus for an eleven year stint, and in that time he had saw less passengers than a bus would have received in an average week beforehand. People waiting at bus stops were a rarity, friendly people waiting at bus stops looking for refuge once in a year, and those who got on the bus were even less likely to get off the bus again. They were a collection of freaks and weirdos, not for the faint-hearted, but Rennie got on well with them, despite his normality. He had a little tuft of moustache above his top lip, and sported a pair of aviator glasses and an old-fashioned conductor's hat on top of his head.

He reckoned he had been everywhere in the country in his time as the nineteen bus driver, and he had seen it all. The bus was now armed to the teeth with weaponry to fight off packs of raiders or crazies, and metal defence had gradually been added to give the bus an impenetrable outer layer. Apart from the sliding door, of course. It was still a bus.

They were right now between two major cities, somewhere in the depths of the dead forest. Little towns used to exist in here, but they had largely been extinguished by fighting and fire. Now they were just empty shells, façades to a past life. He still had to drive through them. They were part of his current route.

But wait a second. There, on the crumbling pavement at what was half a sign, the shelter behind it reclaimed by brush, stood a boy, a young man even. He was clutching the side of his head, a slight glimpse of blood. He looked in need of help.

Rennie gradually pressed on the breaks and slowed towards the young man. Immediately those already on the bus, previously resting because of the set sun and complete darkness, now burst into uproar.

"Is it raiders, Rennie? Please tell me it isn't raiders!" Shouted one woman, who had a grotesque back that sprouted the ribs like plates on a stegosaurus. Some of them were already grabbing for their rifles and shotguns which were never far from them. Raiders were a major problem for the bus.
"No, he looks alone. Looks like he needs our help." spoke another, appearing right at Rennie's shoulder. Nobody knew this guy's name. They called him "The Philosopher" because he talked aloud all the time and never really spoke anything of real sense to the current situation.
"We can't stop. it might be a trap!" Shouted a young man, who was really in his sixties but did not age at the same rate. They called him "Wrinkles".
"I'm stopping, and that's final."

The boy was maybe seventeen or eighteen, and claimed to have fallen from the sky. He didn't remember who he was, but he said there were other kids with him, until he had fallen out of his seat and taken a bang to the head, then he had fallen from the sky. He was sure his name started with a H, but he was unsure. Rennie promised to look after him.

[Super-Llamaland]

Group C
Super-Llamaland 3–0 New North Aqmuland
Perlasilangan 3–3 Nassau-Hessen

"Who the heck are these guys?" The President of the Youth Hockey Association of Super-Llamaland (YHASL) muttered, watching his mystery team net a second goal in the first period against a New North Aqmuland team that was unknown for a different reason.

"We don't know, sir," said his assistant, Marvin McKenzie.

"Good lord," muttered the man, whose name began with an S. "Leave everything with the intern for one day."

A while back, all of the high-ranking officials had left to set up the YHASL as an internationally accepted organization. A burly intern had taken advantage of the situation and recruited the entire team, which was full of illiterate mutes. Of course it had to be illiterate mutes, didn't it?

"Well, get Bryan in!" S yelled at Marvin, who left immediately and came back eight minutes later, pale-faced and shivering.

"Fetch me a coffee," Marvin mumbled, and then passed out. S debated whether or not Marvin could drink coffee while unconscious, decided on no, and went walking off to Bryan's office. It had a shiny nameplate with B. BRYAN on it. He walked in. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Cold coffee on a mousepad, small Ouranos laptop on the small desk, spinny chair nearby the desk, small television blaring WJHC news, pools of red liquid, dead body on the floor...

Wait.

"The heck!?!!?" S yelled, running over to Bryan's body. He turned Bryan over to discover a small, bullet-sized hole in his back. No. Two. Three. Four. Five...

"Six times!" S realized. "Five!" Bryan was burly in life, but the holes were large and he doubted all five had been necessary. Odds were one had to be lying around somewhere...

"Blast!" none was to be found. Only then did S realize Bryan was still breathing. Five, apparently, had not been enough.

"Bryan? Can you hear me?"

"No." somebody said. S turned around.

"This is the police. Put your hands up." a man said calmly from behind S. S felt a resurgent wave of overflowing panic. He spun around. "Look! I know this is what it looks like but I am not the--"

"I might let you go," the man said, if you say a few words."

"Yes! Yes!"

"I killed time seeing them all. Now, I need to prepare some food for myself. Then I'll end these shenanigans," intoned the man.

"I killed time seeing them all...Now, I need to prepare some food for myself. Then I'll end these shenanigans," said S. He was unaware that a small recorder in the man's pocket was silently doing it's work.

"Not good enough," said the man. There was an awkward pause.

"I killed time seeingthemallnowIneedtoprepare-" S tried, babbling as the man aimed and fired five times.

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

"food...some food for myself..." S moaned on the floor. "Then I'll end...I killed time...killed time seeing...shenanigans..."

Just a pro tip: "Then I'll end I killed time killed time seeing shenanigans" is definitely not what you want your last words to be.

S bled out. Bryan had, too, while the whole thing was going on.

---

"The entire YHASL except for one person was what?"

James Mahogany had been a private investigator for a couple of years, sure. But never had he been presented with such a case. The YHASL was in its sixties...sixty-odd people (or perhaps fifty-nine) killed. Everybody, they said.

"Yes," said the man opposite.

"I'll do it."

"Okay," said the man, slipping twenty-six bills across the table.

"This is not enough!" Mahogany cried.

"Not the right person, then," the man said.

"What was your name again?"

"I'll give you another role. You need to find out who the WJHC roster is. Sound easy enough?"

"Sure, DNA testing should do the trick. But twenty-six bills is definitely not enough." Mahogany flipped over a bill condescendingly. TEN THOUSAND, it read.

"Wh-what..." Mahogany said, putting down the bill reverently.

"This is the government. You'd do well to look at the bills next time." The man slid a business card across the table. JEFFERSON OGILVY, it read.

[Vettrera]

It was one of those things that never went away, you know? Nobody would ever stop talking about it, for days, weeks, months, and years; it would be what everyone would be talking about. It was understandable though, of course. A national tragedy like that, is well, national news. When that school shooting happened at New Monarch High School, and when everyone had found out that it was Javier Cagle's best friend that did it....the questions just never stopped coming to him.

"Do you know why he did it?"
"Did you know that he was going to do it?"
"Did you help him...?"

To be honest, it was hard to say exactly how much Javier knew. And it was really hard to take Darius, Javier's best friend, seriously. Darius had access to guns, and Darius said that he was going to teach the Isle 9 gang a lesson, but Darius always made empty threats like that. So it was really hard to take him seriously. Fighting, yeah. Javier could believe if Darius wanted to fight some kid. But killing an entire group of people...no. That wasn't Darius's style. That wasn't the Darius that Javier knew.

Darius was a hotheaded kid, Darius was the type that would make irrational decisions and do stupid things, but Darius wasn't a gangster. Darius wasn't a murderer. He just didn't have it in him......or if he did, then something serious would have had to happen. Darius had access to guns, yeah sure. Everyone in Equinox Heights could get a gun. It was just a matter of knowing the right people, and in Equinox Heights, it wasn't hard to find the right (or well...wrong) person. But Darius wasn't capable of murder...there was a certain line that Darius could never cross.

Javier didn't know exactly why Darius had decided to do it, what drove him to it, or what had happened the day before. Javier just knew what Darius had said to him. The day before Darius had gotten jumped by some kids from Isle 9 and he had told Javier that they were going to pay. And just like that...he was gone.

How was Javier to know what Darius meant? How was Javier to know that this time Darius would be serious? How was he to know that 10 would die, 6 would be injured, and 4 would be in a coma. That the shooting would cause mass hysteria?

Not mass hysteria in Equinox Heights, but mass hysteria in the national sense. People in Equinox Heights were used to the gangs, used to the shootings, used to death. It just hadn't happened on school grounds. That's what made the national community so crazy. Not the event, the venue.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for sending me your heartfelt letter all the way from Gregoryisgodistan. Being re-directed from Mr.Anderson's office, I certainly enjoyed reading it. That being said, I'll address several issues here.

With fines, payment in Greggygodbucks will not be acceptable, so it is mandated by your government to convert the amount of money you need to convert it to $10 million Quebecois dollars. The money should be wired to Hockey Quebec, where it'll then be distributed to the families of 4 on-ice officials and a Quebecois fan.

Also, please understand that potentially killing any of your enemy crushers will only occur when any of them jumps on their feet to kill an on-ice official or opponent fan. Soldiers placed right at the heart of Robert Agpik Arena will not shoot unless provoked, and I do hope that they will not have to shoot an enemy crusher to death.

Sincerely,
Jacques Lemieux,
President, Hockey Quebec

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Dear Mr. Lemieux,

The money has been wired as you had requested. Unfortunately, it took a long time to find a currency clearinghouse willing to trade Greggygodbucks. Finally, we found one in Gregory Llama Land, but by that time, the inflation rate had gone up and we were forced to trade in 24 billion greggygodbucks. In any case, the money has been wired to Hockey Quebec to do as you wish with.

As for the enemy crushers, rest assured, none of them will, as you say, "jump on their feet to kill an on-ice official or opponent fan." (OOC: See link.) Thank you for clarifying what exactly will get them shot and killed. I do not expect this to be a problem.

Sincerely,

Lord Almighty Gregory

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Cutoff. Scorination and tiebreaker info added.

Group A
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 4–3 Sicoutimont
York People 3–2 Lzherusskia

Group B
Edgelandia 2–4 The Channel 4 News Team
San Jose Guayabal 2–6 Vettrera

Group C
Super-Llamaland 7–3 Perlasilangan
New North Aqmuland 0–8 Nassau-Hessen

Group D
Ko-oren 1–0 Britonisea
Cotdelapoms 4–4 Darmen

Group E
Nova Anglicana 5–2 Andita
Arctic snowlands 1–8 Jeckland

Group F
Estenia 3–3 Cassadaigua
Taffy 3 2–3 Transalpine Republic

Group G
Kolmya 1–4 Gregoryisgodistan
Gallund 3–4 Patistan

Group H
Norrehavn 2–2 Muriburiland
Vaugania 9–2 Back in the DPRK

[Vaugania]

OOC: Apologies for the length. It's been a bit since I've had the time to RP. Time to get back into the swing of things!

KH - "This is Kristoff Halvorsen with Peder Bjornstad and this is Hock Talk! This is the place where we talk about all things Vauganian hockey at this hour every weekday on VSN2. So Peder... let's face it. Our hockey program is in decline and pretty soon, we won't be much of a player on the world stage."

PB - "That's garbage, Kris. This of course all stems from Rudy Gehrig's comments in the past weeks. He said that hockey isn't dead and he and his teammates have proven it thus far in WJHC VI. The team has picked up two wins in their first two games by a combined score of 14-5-"

KH - "Who were those games against?"

PB - "Norrehavn and Back in the DPRK."

KH - "Who?"

PB - "Norrehavn and Back in the DPRK."

KH - "I have no idea who either of those teams are. I've never heard of them, never seem them play, never even know that they existed. Beating on a few unknowns in just two games is no indicator of the strength of our hockey program. There are far greater tests in this tournament alone. We can go down the list. Quebec, Sicoutimont, Vettrera, Cassadaigua, etc. etc. Those two other teams mean nothing."

PB - "9 goals in one game is never anything to sneeze at. When you look at the World Cup, you don't see Polar Islandstates smashing everyone they face into smithereens. They still draw, they have close games, even lose every once in a while. The facts are, we put up 14 goals in 2 games. We have a group guys who really knows what they're doing. Gehrig is putting up stellar numbers himself with 6 goals and 2 assists. Not only is he declaring hockey alive, but he is paving the way."

KH - "Whatever. They've still not been tested and we can come back to this when they've faced a country everyone's actually heard of."

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Junior Ice Slaves Defeat Kolmya 4-1, Celebrate by Crushing Opponents

Gregoryisgodistan defeated Kolmya today, 4-1, to improve to 2-0 at the World Junior Ice Hockey Championships. Pervert Chaser in Training MKZ1923, Hacker John'); DROP TABLE Rosters;--, Slave Beater in Training MZCCBBCB138138 and Slave Beater XKA99U291 all scored goals for the Junior Ice Slaves. After the game, the Junior Ice Slaves celebrated by charging to the Kolmya team and beginning to crush them. At that point, Quebecois soldiers threatened to shoot the enemy crushers, but Enemy Crusher Furfy "Junior Fatso" McFattel pointed out that they had not " jumped on their feet to kill an on-ice official or opponent fan" and therefore the soldiers were not ordered to shoot them. Indeed, the enemy crushers had charged at and tackled the opposing players, and at no point had jumped on their feet. After some brief discussion, the soldiers decided it wasn't worth being court martialed and did not shoot the enemy crushers.

As a result, five Kolmya players were crushed to death after the glorious victory. Meanwhile,Enemy Crusher in Training Hugh Rufus was very mad at the soldiers for almost shooting them and decided to crush one of them. The soldier later died from his injuries. The other soldiers chased after Enemy Crusher in Training Hugh Rufus attempting to arrest him, but he ran through the streets, still in his uniform. He then boarded a bus, crushed the driver, and stole the bus. He then crushed the passengers so they couldn't call the police and drove to the airport. He found the Gregoryisgodistani charter pilot and told him what was going on, as the police finally figured out this wasn't the regular airport shuttle. So with the cops chasing after Enemy Crusher in Training Hugh Rufus , he boarded the Gregoryisgodistani team plane and it flew away. The police attempted to shoot out the plane engine to force it to land, but they failed. A few hours later, Enemy Crusher in Training Hugh Rufus landed safely in Gregoryisgodistan. He will miss the rest of the tournament as there is a warrant out for his arrest on multiple charges. However, Gregoryisgodistan will not extradite him, instead opting to give him a medal.

"Enemy Crusher in Training Hugh Rufus acted bravely and nobly by crushing the soldier who threatened to shoot him and his teammates. Therefore, I am hereby awarding him the Medal of Honor," Lord Almighty Gregory said yesterday in a press release. "Quebec is a wicked nation and if they actually do kill any of our enemy crushers, they will be added to our Enemy List. This will mean that any Quebecois citizen can be legally killed within our borders and the killer will receive one million greggygodbucks. I do not want to go this route. Please, Quebec, do not kill our enemy crushers. Thank you."

Next up, the team will face Gallund. They look to crush them, literally and figuratively.

[Nova Anglicana]

Young Lions Bounce Back, Face Must-Win Game

Martin Granger, Staff Reporter

The Nova Anglicana Young Lions, 3rd and 4th place finishers in the last two WJHCs, were predicted to roll through their group, which only included one team who had participated before. However, after two games, the Lions find themselves at 1-1-0 due to an opening-game loss to unknown Arctic Snowlands. The Young Lions, a mix of veteran and new players, seemed to have trouble finding their rhythm and fell behind early, as Cody Giddens whiffed on a check, leaving new starting goalie Aksu Koivula out to dry, and the Arctic Snowlands had a lead at 13:51 of the second period. The Young Lions clearly lost the first period, but found their pace in the second period, and Theo Shipley scored the first goal of the tournament for them at 5:46 of the second period. They attacked relentlessly, but couldn't notch a second goal, hitting the pipes several times. In the third, they conceded four penalties, putting them at a disadvantage for large stretches of the period. The Young Lions survived until 16:23 of the third, when Gilles Granger hooked an Arctic Snowlands player and they converted on a heavy slap shot 1:26 later. The Young Lions couldn't equalize in the short amount of time that remained to them, and they left the ice with heavy hearts after a stunning loss to a team they had expected to crush (not literally, as in the case of the Gregoryisgodistanis).

Their second game was against another newcomer nation, Anditia. Unlike the first game, the Young Lions' passing and cooperation was seamless, and they scored at just 1:35 of the first period, as Dustin Wagner passed and Gilles Granger finished. They would add a second goal at 17:31, as Austen Ferrier rifled one past the Anditian goalie, and the Young Lions led 2-0 after one period. Sander van der Zeijden deflected a shot past the Anditian goaltender at 5:23 of the second period to give the Young Lions a seemingly secure 3-0 lead. The Anditians came back, aided by a John Collier penalty, and scored at 10:49 and 14:31 to close the second period trailing just 3-2. The Young Lions cleaned up their play and at 4:32, captain Ricky Knight fed Ryan Fleming, who poked it into the goal to restore the two-goal lead. Gilles Granger would add an empty-net goal at 19:50 for his second of the game and a three-goal lead.
With the victory, the Young Lions climbed back to .500 and now face group leader Jeckland, who defeated Anditia 4-2 and then racked up 8 goals in a seven-goal thrashing of Arctic Snowlands. With Arctic Snowlands facing winless Anditia, a win would seem almost necessary and might not guarantee their advancement. With a win or a draw and an Arctic Snowlands loss, the Young Lions would advance, in 1st with a win and 2nd with a draw. If Arctic Snowlands were to win, and the Young Lions draw or lose, Arctic Snowlands would advance. If both teams drew, Arctic Snowlands would advance on head-to-head. If both teams lost, then it would likely come down to overall goal differential, which favors the Lions, since they have a +2 and the other teams have goal differentials of -5 (Anditia) and -6 (Arctic Snowlands). If both teams won, then the Young Lions and Jeckland would likely advance on goal differential. But the best way to have the best chance of advancing is to win, and the Young Lions will certainly look to do that.

[Darmen]

Darmeni National Junior Hockey Team

Head Coach: Thom Evers

Line One
C: Zane Schrader
LW: Cleveland Havener
RW: Benji Bertolini
LD: Ríoghnán Clark
RD: Anton Antonino
GK: Pinchas D'amore

Line Two
C: Oren Gardiner
LW: Walt Wang
RW: Frode Keys
LD: Gautier Carl
RD: Maurice Dreschner
GK: Harper Hines

Line Three
C: Cornelius Janz
LW: Lorens Styles
RW: Eutimio Rana
LD: Jude Romijn
RD: Ambrose Piper

Line Four
C: Paolino Kerper
LW: Daniël Naess
RW: Laurentinus Sciacchitano

RP Permissions: No killing or injuries. As for Penalties and Fights, go wild, Darmen is know for its foul play in Ice Hockey.

[Vettrera]

Part 2

Darius's life was rough. For sure. Nothing for Darius had come easy, and it was understandable that Darius would be angry, and it was understandable that Darius would want to unleash that anger. But at the same time, Darius wasn't special. EVERYONE in Equinox Heights had a reason to be angry. Everyone at Equinox Heights had a reason to be angry at the world, but they didn't manifest it into school shootings.

Granted, some of them did manifest it into bad things. Like Isle 9. And the dozen of other gangs that attempted to run the streets. Which in all actuality was stupid. You can't run public property. You just can't, it's slick stupid. You're running streets that everyone's paid for, and for what? You die in a gang and you die in shootings and you die in all of this chaos for what? So you can get props? So everyone around you will say "That was a real EHer right there. He died protecting those streets". It's not like their soldiers or anything. They're just kids. And bad ones....

And then there were those that manifested their hate and didn't let circumstance hold them back. They became start athletes, star students, star artists, and start debaters. No, not everyone in Equinox Heights was a thug. Not everyone was a gangster. Some of them wanted to achieve, they simply lacked the tools to achieve such at a high rate. Javier had fallen into this category. When his dad left, he threw himself into Hockey, and he threw his fears away. Javier focused everything in his mind and his body on hockey, and made it where he wanted to be. There was no reason for someone to resort to such a horrible act. There where Patinsball Leagues now. And Equinox Heights was great at it. They ended up with one of the top 8 teams in the nation....Javier tried to convince Darius to join things, to be active. Javier didn't want Darius falling in or against the wrong crowd. But regardless....Darius did. And Javier couldn't feel sorry for him. They had chosen different paths, and Javier couldn't defend Darius any more.

[Nassau-Hessen]

Group C Round 2 Review

QNR Forum, Sept-Iles
New North Aqmuland 0–8 Nassau-Hessen

All hell broke loose down in the QNR Forum during game two for the a Eagles (luckily goal wise). After the only tie in the first round, the Eagles proceeded to play the biggest rout in the tournament as of yet. Group C is in absolute chaos. Super Llamaland is currently in first place in the standings with two wins and a +7 GD. The boys back home are in second with a win and a tie and a +8 GD. Perlasilangen is in third with a tie and a loss with a GD of -4 while New North Aqmuland is at the bottom with two losses and a -11 goal differential. Super Llamaland is automatically qualified in at least second place. NNA is automatically out, only being able to achieve third. Finally, the Eagles and Perlasilians are fighting for the last spot. The odds are heavily favored for the Eagles. In order for Perlasilangen to come back, they must win (and Nassau must lose) and have a combination of goals won by and Nassau goals lost by of at least twelve. If the Perlasilians pull it off, it is going to be a matter of goals scored (where they must win by at least five to tie again). If it gets to that far by an amazingly random chance, it will result in a potential absolute tie.

Here are the scenarios for the Red and Purple:

Nassau Wins v. Super Llamaland: Clinches Division Title

Nassau Loses, Perlasilangen Loses: Clinches Second Place

Nassau Loses, Perlasilangen Wins: The Tiebreaking Formula Takes Effect

[Super-Llamaland]

"Hello?" Mahogany called the team coach.

"I'm sorry," an automated recording responded, as if in pain, "but I was shot by a man in a black mask. I only barely managed to set my voicemail to reflect the fact before dying. Please call my family at 22-abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz-3.14159-1-2-Gregoryisgodistan."

"The heck!?!?!" Mahogany yelled. "That's not even a real phone number!"

"That may not be a real phone number," the slightly peeved voice continued, "but neither is your mom!"

Mahogany stared at the phone.

EMAILS
From: <jamesmahagony@maghony.sll>
To: <WJHCVILlamas@Llamaneanhockey.com>
Subj: I need your name

Hi players,

I need your names.

-James

Unsurprisingly, James's efforts for the rest of the day were fruitless. In the background, the Tigers thrashed Perlaslingan seven to three.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

*sigh*

My RP post blew into smithereens, so I guess here's an unfortunate cutoff.

Group A
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 8–0 Lzherusskia
Sicoutimont 6–2 York People

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec    3    3   0   0    18    4  +14     9
2 Sicoutimont                3    2   0   1    13    7   +6     6
3 York People                3    1   0   2     6   14   −8     3
4 Lzherusskia                3    0   0   3     3   15  −12     0

Group B
Edgelandia 4–6 Vettrera
The Channel 4 News Team 4–2 San Jose Guayabal

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Channel 4 News Team    3    3   0   0    11    4   +7     9
2 Vettrera                   3    2   0   1    12    9   +3     6
3 Edgelandia                 3    1   0   2     8   10   −2     3
4 San Jose Guayabal          3    0   0   3     4   12   −8     0

Group C
Super-Llamaland 4–1 Nassau-Hessen
Perlasilangan 3–0 New North Aqmuland

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Super-Llamaland         3    3   0   0    14    4  +10     9
2 Nassau-Hessen           3    1   1   1    12    7   +5     4
3 Perlasilangan           3    1   1   1     9   10   −1     4
4 New North Aqmuland      3    0   0   3     0   14  −14     0

Group D
Ko-oren 0–3 Darmen
Britonisea 2–2 Cotdelapoms

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Ko-oren                 3    2   0   1     4    3   +1     6
2 Britonisea              3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4
3 Darmen                  3    1   1   1     9    7   +2     4
4 Cotdelapoms             3    0   2   1     6    9   −3     2

Group E
Nova Anglicana 5–4 Jeckland
Andita 6–3 Arctic snowlands

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana          3    2   0   1    11    8   +3     6
2 Jeckland                3    2   0   1    16    8   +8     6
3 Andita                  3    1   0   2    10   12   −2     3
4 Arctic snowlands        3    1   0   2     6   15   −9     3

Group F
Estenia 2–3 Transalpine Republic
Cassadaigua 0–4 Taffy 3

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Transalpine Republic    3    3   0   0    10    6   +4     9
2 Taffy 3                 3    2   0   1     7    3   +4     6
3 Estenia                 3    0   1   2     5    7   −2     1
4 Cassadaigua             3    0   1   2     5   11   −6     1

Group G
Kolmya 2–2 Patistan
Gregoryisgodistan 4–1 Gallund

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Gregoryisgodistan       3    3   0   0    11    3   +8     9
2 Patistan                3    1   1   1     7    8   −1     4
3 Gallund                 3    1   0   2     8   10   −2     3
4 Kolmya                  3    0   1   2     5   10   −5     1

Group H
Norrehavn 2–0 Back in the DPRK
Muriburiland 0–3 Vaugania

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vaugania                3    3   0   0    17    5  +12     9
2 Norrehavn               3    1   1   1     7    7    0     4
3 Muriburiland            3    1   1   1     3    5   −2     4
4 Back in the DPRK        3    0   0   3     2   12  −10     0

Playoff seeding and fixture to be finalised at the very next post.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Here is the seeding based on the tiebreakers that were able to be used. Group winners were automatically placed from 1st to 8th, with the second placers from 9th to 16th:

1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec    3    3   0   0    18    4  +14     9
2 Vaugania                3    3   0   0    17    5  +12     9
3 Super-Llamaland         3    3   0   0    14    4  +10     9
4 Gregoryisgodistan       3    3   0   0    11    3   +8     9
5 The Channel 4 News Team    3    3   0   0    11    4   +7     9
6 Transalpine Republic    3    3   0   0    10    6   +4     9
7 Nova Anglicana          3    2   0   1    11    8   +3     6
8 Ko-oren                 3    2   0   1     4    3   +1     6
9 Jeckland                3    2   0   1    16    8   +8     6
10 Sicoutimont                3    2   0   1    13    7   +6     6
13 Nassau-Hessen           3    1   1   1    12    7   +5     4
11 Taffy 3                 3    2   0   1     7    3   +4     6
12 Vettrera                   3    2   0   1    12    9   +3     6
14 Norrehavn               3    1   1   1     7    7    0     4
15 Britonisea              3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4
16 Patistan                3    1   1   1     7    8   −1     4

That being said, here is the playoff fixtures. Good luck!

Playoff Fixtures
#1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec vs. #16 Patistan @ Olympia Stadium, Iqaluit
#2 Vaugania vs. #15 Britonisea @ Duncan Browne Memorial Coliseum, Labrador City
#3 Super-Llamaland vs. #14 Norrehavn @ Svanemollen Saddledome, Goose Bay
#4 Gregoryisgodistan vs. #13 Nassau-Hessen @ QNR Forum, Sept-Iles
#5 The Channel 4 News Team vs. #12 Vettrera @ Moulson Pavilion, Labrador City
#6 Transalpine Republic vs. #11 Taffy 3 @ Moulson Pavilion, Labrador City
#7 Nova Anglicana vs. #10 Sicoutimont @ Svanemollen Saddledome, Goose Bay
#8 Ko-Oren vs. #9 Jeckland @ Olympia Stadium, Iqaluit

[The Channel 4 News Team]

~~ CHAPTER THREE ~~
The Doctor

It was during his turn that chaos had erupted. Just about to begin selecting his boxes, and bang, one of the red spotlights is blown out. Then armed men start pouring in through the entrances and holes in the roof. The assembled crowd of mutants panic and flee in all directions, numerous of them trampled under-foot as they go sprawling. The robed disciples throw open their tunics and remove a variety of weapons, shooting back. Outnumbering their attackers. He sees the leader rush to the red telephone. He must be looking for advice on how to beat them.

The sound of gunfire fills the studio room around them, dust crumbling from the decaying walls, bodies falling. The Doctor sees the two young boys make a break for the door, where they disappear. Not before a spray of blood decorates the wall, a Pollock-imprint of their encounter with the Banker. But what does he do? He could attempt to follow them, and get shot and killed, or he could stay there, and end up dead or a prisoner of the raiders or slavers or whatever they are.

Fleeing seems like the best option, on retrospect. If these were slavers, he could find himself stuck for the remainder of his life, unable to run. But then again, his jackpot?

Outside the door, where he had somehow gotten to unharmed, he found the boys. The one called Bon was crouched over the other, shaking him, seeming as if to try to wake him up. But he wasn't asleep. A spreading patch of blood, what looked to be a stray shotgun shell, had punctured the boy's chest. There was no survival from that sort of wound, not even back when the hospitals were open 24-7.

"I'm so sorry..." began the doctor, but Bon just ignored him. He was visibly upset, but the Doctor knew they had to get out of there. "We have to go. Now."
"You know. You could have helped us. You could've gotten us out of there before all that."
"I couldn't have. You don't know these people. If you tried to escape they would have thrown you to the mutants."
Bon wouldn't listen to reason. He was inconsolable. But the Doctor knew they had to get out of there. Whoever the victors inside, it would be ugly for the pair of them.
"He's dead, son. We've gotta go. I know where there is an actual Doctor. He can help your friends."
The boy looked up at him, and nodded.

Inside, the last of the attackers had dwindled. A few had somehow escaped with some loot, but the disciples had managed to fight them off. The Trembolet Gang were getting more confident. The Banker would have to deal with them.

[Ko-oren]

Lose 0-3, still eliminate your opponent

This tournament is a great tournament. Ko-oren doesn't have beef with a whole lot of nations - there are a few we like to beat, like Mytannion and Saugeais - seeing as we also border no other countries, but the closest we might have to a rival might be Darmen. This originates from the time the two nations' football teams played each other seemingly once a month, usually with Darmen coming out on top, but things started changing and now Ko-oren is not a surprising winner from time to time.

This rivalry, lacking a better word, didn't really spread to other sports, but people still like to bring it up from time to time. That said, with the Greenblues and the Darmeni in one group, things will usually heat up a bit. Combine this with the usual foul play from the Rushmori, and you have a nice combination. And this also meant the Darmeni won 3-0. Schrader (twice) and Bertolini beat Stefansson, with none of our players even coming close to a goal. Still, the game was almost completely 5 against 5. Clark found Tachibana two minutes in, and from that point on, the fouls never stopped.

The best thing, however, was the constant bombardement of "even if you win and we lose, we still advance" remarks from the Greenblue bench to the Darmeni bench. This lead to the Darmeni coming onto the ice agitated, which again lead to the string of fights.

Darmen winning, but still dropping out of the tournament was the most beautiful thing. The losing team - losing by 3-0, even - celebrating while the winners skate off with their heads down... beautiful.

Now Ko-oren is the worst group winner of all: six points and a barely positive goal difference. That means Jeckland is the next opponent. The hosts take on Patistan, the lucky qualifiers. Britonisea plays Vaugania, a game to look forward to. But there are a few nations in the final 16 that we don't really know: Norrehavn, the Channel 4 News Team, Taffy 3... and knowing our team, they will probably all do better in this tournament than our team. Here's to somehow surviving another round!

[Britonisea]

Britannual News

We are through to the Ro16

Group D
Ko-oren 0–3 Darmen
Britonisea 2–2 Cotdelapoms

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Ko-oren                 3    2   0   1     4    3   +1     6
2 Britonisea              3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4
3 Darmen                  3    1   1   1     9    7   +2     4
4 Cotdelapoms             3    0   2   1     6    9   −3     2

After only winning 1 game, we thought Britonisea hopes and dreams will be over in The World Junior Hockey Championships. But, thanks to Darmen for moving in to third, we have qualified for the Ro16. More to come later in the news paper but here are the results.

Firstly, we versed a nation called Cotdelapoms. We drawed that match. We drawed it with a respectable 2 points between us. This was a very fun match as we kept o catching up with this nation. Firstly, they got their first point and it took an age to draw with them 1-1. Before we had a chance to celebrate, the power house nation go their second point. It took 2 ages just to get back at them and we did. Though they acted like power houses, the ended their time here as they finished last in the whole entire group. Which is 4th place. Luckily, our win made us go on top of very known nation Darmen, who we beat earlier this week. Next we will be playing a team named Vaugania. We have heard of this nation but we do not know what they are about. Not to mention that so far, they have the 2nd best score of the tournament.

#1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec vs. #16 Patistan @ Olympia Stadium, Iqaluit
#2 Vaugania vs. #15 Britonisea @ Duncan Browne Memorial Coliseum, Labrador City
#3 Super-Llamaland vs. #14 Norrehavn @ Svanemollen Saddledome, Goose Bay
#4 Gregoryisgodistan vs. #13 Nassau-Hessen @ QNR Forum, Sept-Iles
#5 The Channel 4 News Team vs. #12 Vettrera @ Moulson Pavilion, Labrador City
#6 Transalpine Republic vs. #11 Taffy 3 @ Moulson Pavilion, Labrador City
#7 Nova Anglicana vs. #10 Sicoutimont @ Svanemollen Saddledome, Goose Bay
#8 Ko-Oren vs. #9 Jeckland @ Olympia Stadium, Iqaluit

We will be playing them in this lovely place called Duncan Browne Memorial Coliseum in Labrdor City. This is going to be a very hard match but I think that Britonisea can pull it off. We can only hope, watch and wait for the results of the Ro16. We are kind so we are going to talk about other nations. Ko-Oren, who was in our group (D), is eighth and will be versing Jeckland! (A nation where Britonish tennis players went to play tennis). Gregoryisgodistan, The host of The Handball World Cup XII, is in fourth place so far and is versing Nassau-Hessen. Nassau-Hessen is a country that Britonisea has herd of but we have never played, any game, together. They will be playing in a place called Sept-Iles (Which would be Seven Islands in English?) Patistan, unfortunately 16th, will be playing the #1, Royal Kingdom of Quebec to see whether they can pull through to win and get to the quarter finals. We all gotta have hope!

[Jeckland]

JECKLAND DROPS LEAFLETS ON BRUTAL NATION

Last night a fleet of Jeckish bombers flew over the nation of Gregoryisgodistan, dropping educational leaflets into major cities. The propoganda exercise comes as the brutal dictatorship continues to oppress natives and foreigners alike, and their junior hockey team frequently crushes the opposition to death despite the best efforts of the hosts to control them. The leaflets aim to educate the slaves citizens about the evils of their dictatorship.

---

In the competition mentioned before, Jeckland has played strongly, unfortunately finishing second rather than top of their group. They march on the the Round of 16, where they fell last time, with hope of making it further.