Cup of Harmony 60: Everything Thread

by **Armakistan** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:51 am

Armakistan let 2 goal lead slip as they draw against fellow underdogs Hopnation

Armakistan still sit on top of Group G despite a 2-2 draw with HopNation. The team now go into the last game against Ko-oren knowing that another draw will send them through to the knockout stages but if they are to win the group they will probably need to win the game against one of the top teams in the competition. The game against HopNation was again played at the damaged Sylph Cube and the first half saw little action. Armakistan's only shot on target was a weak effort from outside the box after Appleby had cut inside from the left and fired a low shot which the keeper dealt with easily. Armakistan had a slight advantage in possession but needed to create more chances.

The second half started off brightly for Armakistan, Darling was released down the right hand side by a lovely pass from Freddy Bell. The winger was then able to use his speed and skill to cross the ball into Bucklebury who with excellent vision picked out the unmarked Nick Kelly with a great one touch pass. Kelly, who for the first time in Armakistan history failed to score in a game during matchday 1, was able to get back to scoring ways with a well placed strike past the opposition keeper.

1-0

Armakistan were able to grab another goal in the 63rd minute and it looked as though they were going to grab another win. Bobby Bell rose the highest in the box to head home from a brilliant cross by Appleby who after collecting the ball out wide from Freddy Bell had humiliated his opposite number with some great skill to create the space to fire the cross straight on the head of 6ft 2 midfielder Bobby. His celebration he however earn him a yellow card as it took off his shirt to spun it around his head after scoring his first ever goal for the national side.

2-0

Sadly the win wasn't to be as Armakistan switched off and allowed their opponents back into the game with some sloppy defending which allowed HopNation to put together a lovely flowing passing move which ended up with Schytaing beating Daniels in a one on one situation as the keeper tried his best to close down the angle.

2-1

As Armakistan tried to stop the opposition, who now had the upperhand, from scoring again, Henry Potters picked up a yellow card for a strong challenge on the goal scorer Schytaing although the Armakistan captain looked like he had won the ball the freekick still stood. Droimpol took the freekick and was able to curl the ball around the wall and in off the post to tie up the game. The final whistle went 3 minutes later.

2-2

Now the team looks forward to the final group game and push on into the knockout rounds to complete a great Cup of Harmony run to finish off a great start to their first cycle of International football. Here are the current Group G standings after Ko-oren beat NMS 3-0:

Group G                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Armakistan               2   1  1  0    4   3  +1    4
2 HopNation                2   1  1  0    3   2  +1    4
3 Ko-oren                  2   1  0  1    3   1  +2    3
4 New Montreal States      2   0  0  2    1   5  −4    0

Written by Edgar Frazen
Sports Pundit at Armakistan Sports Center (ASC)

Government Information Regarding the Hosts of CoH 60

Armakistan has declared its support for the government of Kinitaria in their recent struggles in Paravači. The government of Armakistan would like to offer help to it's firm friend Premier Kucinič by offering a battalion of 1,300 men to help them control the chaos. With the Armakistan football team currently playing in the CoH 60 being co-hosted by Kinitaria we feel this is a great time for our two countries to increase our ties.

The football team is however currently based in Kazamatsuri where it is with great sadness we announce that one of the team coaches, Henry Robertson, has been killed during an earthquake that caused part of building fall on the respected member of staff. Manager Thomas Boston has said the team will play on in his memory. The Armakistan government has offered aid to its Esportivan brothers and sisters and bolstered the security which is attached the the football team. We hope the chaos in both these countries ends soon.

Jacob Marston
Glorious Leader of Armakistan

by **Kandorith** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:09 am

Xínjíen Day Miracle?

By Lisho Yaru

Group F                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kandorith                2   1  1  0    3   2  +1    4
2 The Archregimancy        2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Albaie                   2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3
4 Star United States       2   0  0  2    3   5  −2    0

Kandorith and The Archregimancy remain in the balance, team seems undisturbed from troubles in host nation. Amazing and indescribable as Kandorith show what they are made of in the Cup of Harmony. Without a doubt Xíanjí's leading capabilities keep this team in the race even though his announced resignation did cast a shadow over the team in the previous press event. With the draw against The Archregimancy, Kandorith remains first in group; which for many is completely unexpected, but the fans simply don't care about that. The festivities for the national team are ungoing at the home front, but the crowd that did travel with the team is more careful with their celebrations, as they don't want to get caught up in what seem to be large anti-government demonstrations within Kinitaria.

Although there's some trouble in both host nations, the tournament seems to be largely untouched by the events there, making the Cup of Harmony an overall success, for Kandorith for now at least. With the team heavily training to keep their top position, they keep looking towards the horizon for upcoming achievements; perhaps this will be the year of the Dragon after all? Kandorith also takes a focus at nations like Ko-oren, who still have a chance of advancing, even though slim. There's a number of loyal fans within the Kandorese nation, who are still hoping for Ko-oren to make it in this cup of Harmony, as they supported both Kandorith and Ko-oren during the World Cup and will continue to do so for both nations in this Cup of Harmony.

The head coach, Xíanjí was not open for commentary today (We suspect heavy partying because of the draw against The Archregimancy), but we were ensured by his spokesperson that he was busy with the upcoming matches and altering the training schedules accordingly. The nation still has full confidence in Xíanjí as the coach of the national team and there's an abundance in confidence about this very well performing Kandorese national team. The future can not be told, but the Kandorese Dragons are in an excellent shape and very confident of their own performance, also for the upcoming matches. We pray for the national team and all the other heroes of Kandorith on this day of Xínjíen, the day of memory; in the hope that peace will remain in our nation and the people of our nation remain safe, wherever they are and travel.

by **Apox** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:38 pm

Forged in Fire - Part Seventeen

As soon as talks began, it was clear to see that it would be incredibly difficult to get anyone to agree on anything. Every time any progress was attempted to be made, it would be opposed by at least half of the council members, and then every minute detail argued over. It was, largely hopeless.

Jack Greybold had zoned out a little, and come back in to find Divine Father Kallios and Paul Wein, Major of Uxminster, of Coastal County, arguing over the correct use of public transport in rural areas. How, they had got onto this subject from the supposedly relevant topic of “How can we make Apox work again as a single country?”, Jack neither knew nor cared, but it seemed that someone needed to take charge, and impose a clear direction on this debate.

“Ok, shut the fuck up everyone,” he roared, standing up, glaring around the table. Divine Father Kallios gave him a dirty look before quietly making some hand signal, presumably warding off sinners or something.

“We’ve been debating for,” he looked at his watch, “Five hours now, and literally no progress has been made. As I stated at the start, I am willing to give reasonable concessions to the counties, however, so far you’ve been only interested in arguing your way through the most minute, insignificant details. Sort it out! Does anyone, have anything worthwhile to add?” He looked around the table. Richard Montague, up until now largely silent, raised a hand. Jack nodded at him to speak, and Richard slowly stood up.

“I have sat here, quietly, listening to what you all have to say. It is clear to me, that many of us here want to have more control over your areas than you have had up to now. However, none of you have gone about it in the correct way, none of you have been willing to compromise on certain issues. I have an idea, which, through compromise, might allow us to reach a convenient and relatively easy solution. We create, in effect, a federal system, united under one overarching nation, that of Apox, whilst each state has considerable power to organise its affairs.” The was a murmur around the room, as the idea sunk in. It did work better than anything previously suggested, and was more likely to be approved than any other system. Jack had doubts, but at least this solution meant there would not be any declarations of independence, or medieval style conquering campaigns.

From that point onwards, debate seemed to be more concentrated, more collaborative than before. The delegates seemed to be more interested in working for a common cause than slagging each other off, and progress was being made.

In the end, fledgling ideas to create a federal states had been partially decided, and it was decided the delegates would return to their home counties/nations, to talk things over with their people. A full, ratified decision could then be reached, with the interests of the Apoxian people being held in everyone’s minds.

by **Chiata** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:05 pm

Occupation
Part 2

Nor' Del, Chiata-

Col. Sanders- Welcome gentleman. I am Colonel Sanders and will be briefing you on the situation in Deala.

Col. Sanders- As you know from the extensive media coverage over the last few months, Carialus hostilely took over and is now occupying Deala.

Col. Sanders- Lately, the fringe groups in the far flung regions of Deala have been stamped out and Carialus now has control of Deala in its entirety.

Col. Sanders- However, the Deala people are highly resistant to the occupation and are expected to be for the foreseeable future.

Col. Sanders- As allies of Deala, I believe we must aid this resistance and contribute to the common good.

Col. Sanders- This is where you come in. You guys are to supply the resistance with information that we can gather from our recon satellites. You may now speak.

Lt. Grable- Hello, I am Lieutenant Grable. I have a question about this operation. How will giving data from our recon satellites aid the resistance.

Co. Sanders- It is very simple. The satellites can track key troops movements and locate supply depots and industrial facilities. The resistance members can then neutralize whichever target they so choose. Next?

Sgt. Pricket- I am Sargent Pricket. Regarding the resistance's intentions, are they not a terrorist group by the eyes of an established nation?

Col. Sanders- I suppose that is partially true. However, Deala is under a hostile occupation and therefor have the right by international law to defend their sovereignty by any means necessary.

Maj. Johnson- I am Major Johnson. Building off of Pricket's question, if we were to be discovered would we be treated by terrorists?

Col. Sanders- By Carialus, yes. By the international community, no, you would be considered POWs. However, this must be made clear, You cannot shall not and will not be caught. Understood?

In Unison- Yes Colonel!

Col. Sanders- Very well. Have I nice stay in Deala gentlemen. Godspeed!

by **Star United States** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:11 pm

Star United States Presidential House
Lake Star, Star United States

"MR. PRESIDENT! MR. PRESIDENT! MR. PRESIDENT! " said a district advisor, Matthew Mat

"What is it?" Answered President Chris

"Some cities are uprising!" Repiled Mr. Mat

"What?"

"Yes sir, first in City of Star, then Golden City, and Lado del Río!"

"Is there a reason to this cause?" Asked President Chris

"Um, yes, because our national soccer players are in great danger in Kazamatsuri!"

'You got to be kidding me, anyways they'll be back quickly than the rooster can make whatever noise it makes"

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah, scores haven't been released yet here, well we lost the second game, so we're out."

"But sir, civil blood has been spilt! "

"What?"

"The citizens armed themselves, and attacked the police force trying to calm the protests down."

"Um, gather my council!"

"But sir, some on vacation."

"Gather them now, and it's an order."

"Yes sir"

to be continued

by **Brenecia** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:19 pm

http://www.patriotsown.net.bre/electrum_coh
ON THE ROAD - PATRIOTS vs ELECTRUM

Morning readers, and welcome to the newest edition of this tripe. Today, Brenecia could seal their advancement with a win over Electrum that, bluntly, we were fancied to get. The only change to our team from last week was Kuepper being shifted out of the team, Cheney Belconnen in his place - again, I thought, maybe we'd win this.

Electrum, for their part, took their strongest lineup barring suspension, injury and arrest. I noticed their goalkeeper was number 23, and the substitutes were in the 20s as well - centreback Adam Standing wore the number one shirt on the bench. I threw a coin at him for the sacrilege but missed, so I drank to forget.

Electrum, whose charming flag contains a golden arse getting the shit kicked out of it, had gotten in some shit for bribery allegations - I didn't really give a shit, given that it obviously hadn't worked, but they got a lot of boos anyway. But the boos didn't seem to fuck Electrum up that much and from kickoff to the ten-minute mark they were all over us. Their front three of Krane, Cozzo and Ingram seem to have a really good chemistry, but it's their attack-minded fullbacks that lead to the goal; Tyler Stevens makes the most of his yard of pace over Allbeck to outrun both to the corner flag before hitting an early cross to Krane, who sticks out a leg to volley the ball into the net. I'm sat there thinking, fuck, we're going to blow it again, but to my amazement the Patriots fight back. Camden is having a fucking fantastic game after a dreary first ten minutes, and her passes are linking up all the play for us now, while Allbeck makes up for her earlier error in being out of position with a fucking amazing cross. We can't believe it - Cheney Belconnen rises and nods it in at the far post, we're level in the 17th minute. Miraculously, things continue to go well for us, but Fenech in the Electrite goal is having a great game. Thompson's having a right 'mare though, and there's nothing Fenech can do when Bryson straightforward takes him on, beats him and smashes the ball into the far upper corner of the net. He's pretty determined to avoid this happening again, which is why he flattens Bryson the second time they come across each other. He's cautioned, and sadly for him nothing is going right - Camden's strike flies true and we're 3-1 to the good, three minutes before half-time.

The interval comes and goes, with our only entertainment the distant wild lightning storms. Then the teams trot back on and Standing's been subbed in for Thompson and all the Brenecians chant at him to go back and get his gloves. He tells us to fuck off, which is fair enough really, not as though he chose the number, unless he did in which case he's a cunt and I wish my coin had hit him but really I've only myself to blame for missing. Standing's quite good and Electrum tighten up at the back a lot but we're still 3-1 up and pretty confident we can win except Krane's taken the ball and headed it back to Pozzo who cuts inside and christ that was a good shot to beat Connell, but still, we're 3-2 up and pretty confident we can win. Which would be enough for qualification to the next round at the moment as Apox and West Angola are currently drawing and it takes a really weird group for two wins and a loss not to qualify, and it needs no draws. That aside, our lingering fears that Brenecia will Brenecia itself are quieted when a really long throw from substitute Rook Asquith finds Belconnen with his back to goal, who takes it on the chest and passes along to the right wing and it's none other than My Boy Danny Snowden who outruns Stevens and places his shot to beat Fenech low and hard - 4-2 and this time when the game dies down the score is in our favour.

Get out of the stadium, get drunk and go off to the motel, get more drunk. Because in the same way that a whirlwind romance can seem like a dream, so does this - Brenecia off to the next round and playing honestly brilliantly. Where was this in the qualifiers? Tough question - and one I'm not drunk enough to answer. The players didn't seem to know either because as usual journalists haven't realised that Erin Camden can't really form a sentence two minutes after the final whistle. Best of luck against Apox tomorrow; we'll need it to keep at the top of the group.

by **Electrum** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:54 pm

Post game v Brenecia
Mitch Blain: Alright boys, you played well but we are eliminated from the competition. Just keep playing the way you do against West Angola and let's hope we can save face by scraping a victory.

Alex Krane: No offense, you are a good manager and all, but how are we expected to deal with this bs that the minister has put in front of us? What the rigged draws and all?

Mitch Blain: If you read the news, you would have known that he has resigned and a new replacement is imminent so this kind of thing won't happen again. You guys have played very well given the circumstances of what happened... shame that we couldn't advance. A favourable draw would have helped us a lot eh? Just kidding. You get what you get. I hear that the new replacement for the Department of Sports is Rosalind Corby, a former netball player of Electrum -- so we'll see how it goes eh?

Press Release from the Electrum Ministry for Sports, the Arts and Culture

After the relatively quick resignation of Jack Hughes, Rosalind Corby has been announced as the successor of his portfolio.

After Jack Hughes's resignation yesterday, Prime Minister Jim Brandis and the governing Labor Party have moved for a minor reshuffle with Rosalind Corby being upgraded from being a backbencher to a cabinet member and also takes Jack Hughes's former portfolio of Sports, the Arts and Culture.

Jim Brandis said that, "Although Jack Hughes was a honourable person for giving up his portfolio, the ministry cannot stand alone without a minister. I, in consultation with the party members have upgraded Rosalind Corby from her role as the secretary for Education to the Minister for Sports, the Arts and Culture. She is, in my opinion, the best suited for the role given her extensive experience as the CEO of Netball Electrum."

Rosalind Corby was sworn in today morning as part of the cabinet and she had this to say, "I thank Prime Minister Brandis in offering me this role. This comes as a great surprise to me, and I graciously accept my greater responsibilities. I will endeavor to build this ministry from where we started with." Rosalind Corby's new responsibilities will include overseeing the performance of the Electrum national teams in the various sporting events, to promote arts education in Electrum and to establish Electrum as the cultural centre of both the multiverse and Rushmore.

"I have a few things up my sleeve, and in time I will reveal my plans to the public about where I want this ministry to go. For too long we have seen misuse of money, and not enough encouragement to get people off their sofas and out on the streets. I want to have change in the community and get Electrum moving again!" said Rosalind Corby. She will fill the ministry with great gusto.

Courtroom 2 - High Court of Electrum, Centralis

It was a packed courtroom in the heart of Centralis. The Anti-Corruption authorities borrowed the High Court of Electrum's courtroom for today in order to accommodate the interested parties and the media pack which diligently wrote down and recorded everything which was going on. The anti-corruption officials sat on one side of the bench when Senator Appleby, the Minister for Anti-Corruption walked into the room and declared that, "The Commission for Corruption will now review the case of Jack Hughes RE: Cup of Harmony Draws. Court is now in session, and the first witness will be Jack Hughes himself." Senator Appleby sat in the very top chair and his role will be to oversee proceedings and to ensure that the trial will be smooth.

Usually, in a court trial, the prosecution and the defence sit next to each other. Not this time, in this special court, there is only anti-corruption officials as it is an inquiry as to what happened. They are only there to determine what happened and whether or not corruption was involved. Jack Hughes walked into the room and sat into the witness stand. He said his oath and then one of the anti-corruption officials stood up and gave a brief background of what the trial was about.

"Today we are here to discuss the evidence which has been brought forward to the court regarding IRC communications, and whether or not this led to corruption. Those are the only things which will be analysed as the trial goes on. We will be asking Jack Hughes and other witnesses on what exactly happened before and after the Cup of Harmony draw. As you know, Electrum takes government transparency and corruption very serioiusly." Jack Hughes looked very solemn after that last sentence.

Jack was grilled on everything and anything on the days before the Cup of Harmony. He was made to answer questions concerning the wiring of money, the draws that were wanted and whether or not the team knew what was going on. He categorically denied the fact that anyone involved with the Electrum national soccer team, whether involved with management or not, knew anything about what was going on with the draw. Jack Hughes himself admitted that he did make those statements, but as he was using a phone to communicate the IRC messages, that it was possible for that communication to be intercepted. He stated that he did hide the wiring statements, but could not disclose how he managed to do so.

Although these confessions were absolute, the trial had to be postponed for a few days as more evidence was needed about the other participants of the message, namely Azai Kanon of Mizuyuki and Bojan Kumiric of Kinitaria. Although they are not compelled to give evidence, Azai Kanon's press conference had some details which contradicted Jack Hughes's accounts, and therefore Azai was subpoena'd to give evidence at her leisure. The court in the meantime will be postponed until that happens.

by **The Archregimancy** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:45 am

A Statement from the Monastic Football

We would like to take this opportunity to condemn Kandorith for the sin of 'not trying hard enough' in last night's Cup of Harmony match.

Reports published by the Xianzhou News Agency suggest that the Kandorith coach and players are pleased with the 0-0 draw, and were likely "partying" to celebrate their "success".

Given, however, that the Archregimancy's national team was actively trying to lose the match in order to go home from this God-forsaken tournament as quickly as possible, didn't attempt a single shot on goal the entire match, and went out of their way not to impede the opposing forwards or save any of their shots, we can only assume that the statements emanating from Kandorith hide the extent of the shocking failure on their national team's part.

Kandorith manager Xíanjí can celebrate the result as much as he wants, but the bravado on the part of the Kandorith media merely covers up their team's inability to take a single shot on target over the full 90 minutes.

We can only hope that Albaie's forwards can do better in the final group stage, that the Archregimancy will finally lose a match - as we so desperately desire to - and we can go home without further engaging with the militant communists and demoness-worshippers who are doing so much to destroy this tournament.

Yours in Christ,

The Monastic Football Association +

by **Schiavonia** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:11 am

"You're listening to SIBN, I'm Jenny Jones..."

"..."

"...and welcome to the Sound of the Sloths, where today Schiavonia are playing against Gregoryisgodistan. And that is quite a mouthful to say, don't you think?"

"..."

"Well, it does sum it up pretty well. Gregory is god to the people of Gregoryisgodistan. And if that is what they believe, then who are we to argue?"

"..."

"Well, just because they don't believe in the same things that you or I might, there's no need to be confrontational about it, is there?"

"..."

"So anyway, there have been problems for Schiavonia in the build up to this one, with both of the Sloths' finishers in the squad picking up minor injuries in training. As a result, John Blige has been moved to finisher, while Alexa Leau will be playing as runner. It means that Schiavonia will be attacking Gregoryisgodistan with more pace than usual, but could struggle with getting the ball into the back of the net."

"..."

"Well, it is an interesting tactic, to say the least. One other change is that Winston is in the team for Sallad. I think Kenny Sanderson VI wanted to put some extra toughness in that back line. Now, our opponents line up today.... I'm not sure how I'm going to read this out without taking quite a while to..."

"..."

"Good suggestion. So in goal is Farmer, the defence are Warlord, Godsam, Button and Redacted, the midfield are Chaser, Clownpirepie, Farmer and Aznnau, with Potato and Possibe in attack. They'll fancy themselves as favourites against the Sloths today, as they are considerably more experienced than the Schiavonia team."

"..."

"Quite. Today's referee is Lucius Caeparius, who hails from Saintland. And, if the saints are on his side, then I would expect him to have quite a good game today."

- - - - -

15 minutes

"...I'll be honest, saying Gregoryisgodistan every time the team get the ball is getting too much. Especially because they're on the ball quite a lot. Perhaps we should try something else. Their nickname is the Foot Slaves, but I'm not sure our Schiavone audience will understand the reference."

"..."

"Well, that's a bit cheeky of you, transcriber, but yes, they are easily confused. So, just to make it easier, call we call them... the Greg Army?"

"They're not an actual army, though."

"Kevin! Be quiet! You've got a lot of transcribing to do!"

"Sorry, I..."

"As Aznnau, sends a great ball through to Potato, and that is an emphatic finish! But the flag has gone up for offside. That looked pretty close, though."

"..."

"I'm not sure it was, either. But the officials only get one look at it. They can only do the best that they can..."

- - - - -

27 minutes

"...here comes Farmer, to Aznnau... brilliant tackle by Lyku! But what's this? Well, the referee has given a free kick to the Greg Army! Lyku clearly played only the ball there! Aznnau was at least half a yard away, and didn't even go down under the challenge! But you can tell she's Schiavone, respecting the decision and getting back into the penalty area to defend the free kick."

"..."

"It did seem harsh. Anyway, the ball comes in from Aznnau, Possibe goes up for it... well, it's in the back of the net, but there was a clear push on Lyku... Unfortunately for the Greg Army, you can't get away with that, so it will be a Sloths free kick."

"..."

"Indeed, Possibe is still in heated discussion with the referee. He seems to be convinced that he has done nothing wrong there. But, as Vanessa Lyku just showed, the best thing to do in such a situation is walk away and get on with it. As... well, the referee clearly isn't going to take this any more, and he is reaching for his cards. That's with just reason, too. A total lack of respect from Possibe, there."

"..."

"Perhaps he should come to Schiavonia and learn some manners, but that would be entirely disrespectful to the beliefs of his home nation. Anyway, he is calming down now. But you sense that the Greg Army are not happy..."

- - - - -

36 minutes

"Chaser... Oh my, he's hit one... It looks as though that has caught O'Connor out, but he scrambles back and scoops it away, and Potato can't control the rebound, slicing it wide. But that was brilliant athleticism from the Jungle Strike goalkeeper! He preserves the stalemate once again. But this has been quite a one-sided first half. The Greg Army must consider themselves very unfortunate not to be in the lead here."

"..."

"Well, even more unfortunate now as... is all of the ball over all of the line? The replays here in the stadium seem quite inconclusive, and the position of the officials was not great, as that shot from Chaser seemed to come out of nowhere. It looks... yes, that's in. And... well, that is very Schiavone! O'Connor has turned around and booted the ball into his own net! He knows that he didn't save it, so it is only right that justice is... wait, what is this... the referee is coming over... a yellow card for O'Connor. Well, I'm not entirely sure what that is for, O'Connor is trying to discuss matters with him as calmly as possible, but the ref is walking back upfield. He has been ordered to take that kick again. And this time, it looks as though he is aiming upfield."

"..."

"Well, if is quite a farce. I don't know who this referee thinks he is, but the WCC need to have a look at him. A very poor display from the man in what is quite an unsightly shade of pink today. Who designs these referee's kits?"

"..."

"It is hideous."

"Kevin! Get back to transcribing!"

"But..."

"You've got a lot to do there! As the goal kick is launched..."

- - - - -

45+1 minutes

"Well, there it is, half time. A half completely dominated by the referee, who has given some bizarre decisions against both teams. I suppose you can only give what you see, but some might argue that this one didn't see a lot"

"..."

"Indeed, and the Greg Army seem to be following the ref down the tunnel here. This does not look good at all..."

- - - - -

55 minutes

"Farmer... onto Potato... into the box, across comes Winston... brilliant challenge! Winston just gets a toe end to the ball, stopping Potato in his tracks, and Lyku clears. And..."

"..."

"Oh my! Well, the entire Gregoryisgodistan team seem incensed. None more so than Potato, who seemed convinced that Winston got nowhere near the ball. It was only the slightest of touches, but he got there. Potato clearly was only half-baked in the challenge."

"..."

"Sloppy mash! Haha! Good one!"

"This is silly."

"It's a joke, Kev. Of course it's silly."

"Not that."

"Oh, you mean the way that the Gregoryisgodistan team seem to be getting angry all of the time?"

"No... well, it is a little foolish of them, but no. I meant having the transcriber as co-commentator and me doing the typing."

"Why is that silly? The transcriber is making some really insightful comments about the game. More so than you ever do."

"Yes, but..."

"You're just jealous that someone is doing your job better than you, aren't you?"

"No."

"So what is it then?"

"Well, the thing about radio is, it tends to rely on sounds."

"Yes?"

"Well, the transcriber doesn't make any sounds."

"Well, sometimes no sound is better than the things you come out with, Kev."

"Really?"

"Well... possibly. Look, if you can keep quiet for the rest of the match, we'll see what the audiences back home think of it."

"OK, that sounds fair. Also, do you not think it is a little unfair to make fun of someone's name?"

"Well..."

"You would tell me off if I did that to someone."

"I would, that's true. Trascriber, behave!"

"..."

"You should be. And Kev..."

"It's hard this typing at speed job, you know."

"..."

"Fair enough."

- - - - -

69 minutes

"Sanderson, with a great ball over the top to Blige, into the area... but the control is poor, and Godsam can clear with e... Oh my... what the... the referee has given a penalty to Schiavonia for... well, I'm not entirely sure what!"

"..."

"Well, as you would expect, the Gregoryisgodistan team are fuming with the referee. Blige is trying to help them see reason, because there is no way in the multiverse he is going to score this penalty. But despite the Schiavone players' interventions, they just won't stop."

"..."

"Well, the referee seems to be going for his pocket... and... well, Godsam has been given what seems like a second yellow card... I don't remember him getting a first one... and now the Schiavone players are questioning the referee, too. I think he's explaining something to them... and... well, they seem to have accepted his explanation for the red card, but this is an absolute farce, now. Things are starting to calm down, Blige is stepping up to take the penalty. The neutral crowd wait with baited breath, but the Schiavones in attendance know what is about to happen... Blige, gently taps the penalty, it is easily knocked away by Farmer and cleared by Warlord."

"..."

"It is, utterly farcical. I have not seen a game like this in the two years that I have been following Schiavonia's football team. The WCC will undoubtedly have things to say to the officials..."

- - - - -

83 minutes

"...cleared to Cueto, who feeds the ball in to Hogan... Well, that is a rash challenge... penalty! Zznnkumbya came sliding in wrecklessly there, and although he only took the ball, the referee has pointed straight to the penalty spot. That was dangerous play from Zznnkumbya, and he is quite rightly being booked for it... but his team... well, they have lost the plot, now."

"..."

"Well, their ire is aimed at the referee. They seem to be convinced that, because Zznnkumbya played only the ball, that no foul has taken place. The player himself is going absolutely ballistic at the referee, and if he is not careful, he will undoubtedly end up in further trouble."

"..."

"Absolutely, as... well, clearly the referee has had enough, and the cards are out again. Zznnkumbya is now off, Gregoryisgodistan are down to nine men, and while the referee has made some appalling decisions today, there can be no justification for behaving as these players have today. If the Lord Almighty Gregory was Schiavone..."

"..."

"...well, of course he isn't. But if he was, he would be thoroughly ashamed of how his team have behaved today. But anyway, amongst the chaos, Blige has put the ball down on the penalty spot. He's clearly taking this one a lot more seriously than the previous one. He steps up... GOAL! Schiavonia are one-nil up, after spending large amounts of the game on the back foot, John Blige finishes the penalty with great aplomb into the bottom right of Farmer's net, and Gregoryisgodistan need to find their heads if they are going to get anything out of this now!"

- - - - -

89 minutes

"Here comes Leau, running at a tired Greg Army defence. Oh my! That was another outrageous challenge, this time Warlord, the referee gives nothing, and Leau appears to be in absolute agony. This game is just getting ridiculous, now. Warlord probably got the ball first, but was off the ground, and it is downright dangerous!"

"..."

"And... well, there is no way Leau can continue. That could be the end of her Cup of Harmony."

- - - - -

90+3 minutes

"And there's the final whistle! And the referee has run straight down the tunnel. There's no doubt that this performance will be looked at in more detail. Both teams are not very happy with him, the Gregoryisgodistanis more visibly so than the Schiavones, but despite the result being in the Sloths' favour, this has been one to forget. Football should not be like this, and only the Sloths can come out of this game with anything resembling pride."

- - - - -

After the game...

"Well, the transcriber has left our commentary position to interview Benny Sanderson to give his view on today's game."

"..."

"Well, thankfully you don't play in many games like that. Some of the things that the Gregoryisgodistan team were saying to the referee were absolutely disgraceful. No matter how much they might disagree with his decisions, you just have to keep your head and keep believing in yourself to overcome it."

"..."

"Well, no. Some of the decisions were very strange, but I think they let those ones dictate others, and then the seemed to feel injustice at everything after that. But we had some strange decisions given against us, too. I guess the referee can only give what they see, even if nobody else agrees to it."

"..."

"Well, Alexa is in agony, but again, the referee saw it as tough but fair. She'll definitely by out for the Ossidiacqua, but we're hopeful that it isn't too serious."

"..."

"Not at all. We will go in as underdogs, because nobody expects us to beat anyone here, and we will treat them with the upmost respect as we do with everyone."

"..."

by **The Sarian** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:39 am

The Gay Epidemic
By Conen Heirst

Danger. Hatred. Rape. That is what these homosexuals bring to our towns, our cities and our families. But no-body dares challenge them. No-body dares tell them that they are not natural human beings. No-body dares to tell them they suffer from a genetic mutation.

If a sheep is mutated, we kill it. We stop it's disease from spreading, and yet we let these so called homosexuals roam our streets. It is not right.

The bible has said, "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; that is an abomination."

Many thousands of years ago, they realised a fact that we still ignore. Many thousands of years ago, homosexuality was not allowed. Many thousands of years ago, they did not let these fags live.

So why should we now?

That's why I call on you, the brothers and sisters of not only The Florigan but of this nation to stand up against these abominations.

With the General Election now just three weeks away, you need to stand up against these freaks of nature, and stand up for a strong and prosperous nation.

Weak at the Knees
By Gerther Hillbrind

That's what this nation makes me, that's what this nation is. Weak at the knees. We refuse to stand up for ourselves and our interests.

Take Yttribia for example, their floundering about with the Isle of Tench, saying it is rightfully theirs because of "geographic" reasons. What do we as a nation do? We plan to play a charity friendly match in the Island! Ridiculous!

Yttribia is a very pressing problem to our sovereignty, not just for the Island, but for the greater Sarian Islands. Former Yttribian leader, President Grimaldi was expelled from the nation and took refuge here. Where are pitiful excuse for a government treated him like a hero.

A Yttribian man a hero on Sarian soil? For hundreds of years our two nations have clashed on just about everything, and we make their rejects our heroes? Pathetic.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Every single major political party in these Royal Isles. United Liberals - pathetic. Conservatives - pathetic. Labourite Party - pathetic. Unionist Party - pathetic. Royalty and Dignitary Party - pathetic.

We need a new party, we need to cut out the bureaucracy, we need the Florigan Party to lead us out of the darkness.

Fredrik Elwing put down the first edition of his parties paper. It was good internally, but externally it will make the party look like loonies. Fredrik Elwing did not like looking like a loony.

He had served three jail sentences in his life. When he was 19, he was arrested for driving under intoxication. That was not his first jail sentence, he got away with a small fine.

His second run in with the law also was not his first jail sentence. At 21 years of age, he assaulted a gay man outside of a bar. Another fine followed, this time larger.

It wasn't until his third court date, just three months after his previous conviction for assault, came his second conviction for assault. Once again on a homosexual, this time it was no fine and he was sentenced to 12 months, of which he served 9. He never showed remorse.

He was barely out for six weeks before his next prison sentence, this time it made national news. Two homosexuals were stabbed outside a nightclub, Fredrik Elwing handed himself in, not out of guilt but out of pride. Six years from a twelve year sentence were served and Elwing was marked as a homophobic psychopath by his therapist.

Finally, he was released and for three years he kept his nose relatively clean, at least in the national databases eyes.

It was in his third, and final, prison sentence, yet another attempted murder, where he wrote his book, and the first manifesto of The Florican Party, Heavily influenced by the Corvidae Party from The Inevitable Syndicate and fueled by his own homophobic beliefs, named The Vision.

And The Vision was set to begin today, and The Vision didn't care for elections. Fredrik smiled. It was time to take charge.

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:40 am

The technicians clapped as the machines whirred into life - their beige exteriors showing their age (that is, the machines) - slowly collecting the data that would need to be regained the Syndicate were able to see their region once more. A male technician with black, sweepy hair and thick glasses tapped away at an old computer, its display flickering in time with the lights of the basement that the institute had found this old technology in. It had been over 30 years since the Institute had made contact with the shaky satellite they made contact with now - Letterbox.

Letterbox, having been connected only to other Letterbox related machines, had been exempt from the hacking attack that Ohm had sprung on the Magnaean Branch of the institute, and as a result was the only satellite they had at their disposal. The SIA were unwilling to help, claiming their satellites were needed for more local usage, and anyone else that had been contacted within the two days of coverage outage refused to comment. The rudimentary machine that was now, slowly crossing the region and building a render of the land was incredibly outdated, but in the hours that followed, the satellite make quick, low resolution passes of the entirety of Atlantian Oceania. It was a short, pleasing moment in the chaos that was ensuing around the Institute, but it wasn't long before everything came crashing down...

"We've lost contact with Keyhole One. It came crashing down in the early hours of this morning."

"Did we get a location?" said Thomas Moreau, CEO of the Magnaeus Branch, sighing into his morning tea.

"Great Calanian Desert. Temple of Raresh. I don't know if anyone was around when it crashed."

"Any cryptic clues from Keyhole Two? I visited Jeff in the hospital, and he said that they're spouting crap..."

Thomas was shown a print-out of the LED Printer logs.
THAT WAS ONE. YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS BRIGHT? THIS NEXT ONE WILL BE AN EYE-SOR! MIGHT HAVE TO DRINK TO FORGET THIS...

"Any idea where it's headed?" said Thomas, tapping away at his keyboard, searching for a 'riddle solver'.

"Somewhere in the North. That's all we've got." said the Technician, clutching her clipboard. "Did everyone enjoy your announcement?"

Thomas smiled. "I sure hope so..."

The CEO went back to tapping away, and the technician mumbled a quick compliment then darted out the room, back off to the basement, to check on the progress of the plucky satellite.

"And that's it's first full sweep! We've got a map!"
A bottle of champagne popped weakly back in the basement. The technicians crowded around the screen to see what they'd created. It was a very low resolution, but it was enough to form the basis of a new political map. Sure, some of the smaller islands couldn't even be seen by the satellite, but it had failed to be calibrated properly during it's first pass over the region, and was expected to get better as time went on. Whether the fate of the Keyhole Project would get better as time went on was a different story, however...

by **Schiavonia** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:56 pm

"Benny."

"Kev."

"Have you heard what they've done to me?"

"No."

"They've swapped me with..."

"It was a joke, Kev. Because the transcriber is mute."

"Ah. Yes. Well..."

"Look, I think it is harsh, what they've done to you."

"Well..."

"So I want you to help me out..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hello, I'm Kevin Smith, Schiavonia's number two commentator, and I'm here with Benny Sanderson, Schiavonia's star distributor. Benny, why are we here today?"

"Well, we're here to help us both out."

"In what way?"

"Well, in a bid to get you back as co-commentator on Sound of the Sloths and to get me into the All-Star Cup of Harmony team."

"And how would we go about that?"

"Well, you ask all of the right questions, and I get to promote myself."

"OK, and the right questions are... the ones on this piece of paper you've given me?"

"Yes."

"OK, so... Who are you?"

"My name is Benny Sanderson, the seventh generation and latest in a line of Sandersons to represent Schiavonia at football."

"So what makes you stand out?"

"The elegance with which I strike the ball around the pitch. The style with which I strike free-kicks effortlessly into the top corner of the net or onto Conrad Hogan's head."

"Anything else?"

"Well, I help with the running of the country. A nation that emphasises international unity and getting along with one another."

"But so does Tony Cueto. So why not vote for him?"

"Well, er..."

"And he is a lot more Schiavone, modestly breaking up play and knocking the ball on."

"That's not in the script, Kev."

"So should we put Tony forward for the Cup of Harmony team?"

"Well... er... yes, OK. Tony is great! To the people who are organising the game, get Tony Cueto into your team! He's a great ball winner and a fantastic team player! And honest as the day is long. He'll be great!"

"Well..."

"Although, if you have space, remember, Benny Sanderson - he's pretty good, too!"

"Benny, thank you!"

"You're welcome!"

by **Farfadillis** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:12 pm

- So... who are you cheering for today? - asked his curious father.

- No idea, to be honest. - he replied.

- Huh? Not even the slightest non-neutral thought?

- More like tons of them, if I'm honest. Just balanced. Kind of like when two equally strong forces go in the exact opposite direction.

- Oh, now that's more like what I wanted to hear. So you're still not sure? Not even with your father wanting to rub an Astograthian win in your mother's face? You sure you wouldn't want to join in?

- Heh, no, not really. I'm still gonna be pretty neutral, regardless of who wins. I guess I'll just hope for the tie.

- Wouldn't that kind of fuck both teams?

- Well, yes, but it isn't like I've got any other option, is it? I mean, I might even go for Far-

- NO YOU WON'T!

- Heh. Same reaction as when I said I'd accept Farfadillis' call-up for the Di Bradini Cup?

- OF COURSE.

- Shut up, it's started.

Astograth kicked off. The two national teams were facing each other now. On one side, his country of birth, wearing their distinctive olive green. The country of his father's birth, too. On the other, a country he admittedly didn't know all that much about, wearing their also distinctive eye-tearing aggressive red with laser green. He had worn that shirt, and his best memories were all wearing that shirt. As much as he did not know his mother's country of birth as much as his father's, he had still defended it to the death. Yes, he did not know the country. However, he did know the national team. Farfadillis caused the same impact as Astograth merely because he knew how defending it felt. He had been given the chance to defend a nation, regardless of which. Not only that, but he had won a competition as big as the Di Bradini Cup. He had crafted himself a name thanks to Farfadillis. Astograth just brought him up, however, so things were hard.

His mother was away at her job. She was watching the match, though, he was sure of that. It was funny how his mother liked football, as she had been the one who introduced him to football, though his father instantly liked the idea and joined his mother in a heartbeat. Now he was all professional. In a few years, he could easily be on television, defending either of the national teams he was watching. He did know he'd prefer to defend the shirt that had given him the chance, however. Another nation's shirt just wouldn't fit him. He still had to think on improving his skills though. He'd have a hell of a lot of competition for a starting spot, after all. Offensive midfielders were more common than sane people in Farfadillis according to his mother. Ichi Tuzzio, Alex Terán, Matías Delafuente, Matí O'rosso, Ikkon Karkka, Mirogod Chernyshov, Vasilije Østergård, all names he'd heard of. All at least on his level (and funnily enough, three of them not Farf-born either), but many older than him. For all people knew, his talent had yet to bloom. Itxaso Zuazubiskar could become a player as legendary as Tuzzio or Terán. And yet, he'd probably still not be fully Farf. He wanted to defend Farfadillis, yet he didn't really feel like a Farf.

- GODDAMNIT. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?

- Hmm... Terán scored? Looks like competition will be fierce. - he said, trying to make his father angry.

- COMPETITION!?

- Oh, nothing you want to hear.

Having left his father mad, he started pondering again. Would he be betraying his father? He was sure he'd not like it, but he was also sure he'd get used to it anyway. The day could come in which his pretty nationalistic father (though Astograth's recent fascist movement was a bit too much even for him) would actually cheer for a national team that was not his own - and against his own. Ah well, he knew it would make things interesting for the family as a whole.

That day, just as he had wanted because of having no other options, both teams tied. But had they tied in winning his support? Probably.

by **Kinitaria** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:42 pm

The international community is on our side. Those were the thoughts of Premier Irin Kucinič, as things seemed to be going right for once for the embattled leader. Firstly, the government of Armakistan had, quite unexpectedly, written to him expressing their desire to help out with the spot of trouble currently taking place in Paravači. He really must get back to them about that. Then, there was the official state visit to Kazamatsuri to get to. He admired the work of the Kazamatsurian government, and felt as though he could do business with them, even if recent reports of bizarre events like acid hail and mashed potato meteors were a little unsettling.

Not everything could be good news, though. He had received the reports from Rosa Lisineva, the Kinitar minister for foreign affairs, that the Inevitable Syndicate were passing a spy satellite over Kinitaria. As Lisineva had explained, "we've made unofficial contact with the Syndicate's people and they say it's for purely cartographical purposes, but then they would, wouldn't they?"

"They expect us to believe that they're up to nothing more sinister than map-making?" Kucinič had snorted incredulously. "They're a threat, and there's no doubt they're spying on us. What do you suggest our options are here?"

"Well, we can do nothing," began Lisineva, eliciting another snort from the leader, "we can issue a diplomatic warning, begin sanctions, shoot the thing down next time it passes overhead, or declare war on them."

"Surely we shoot it down? They're spying, we have every right to."

"If you'll forgive me, comrade, it's not quite as simple as that. If we do nothing more than issue a warning, we appear weak. We can announce sanctions, but we don't really trade anything with them anyway, so it would be largely pointless. We don't have concrete evidence that they're spying, and they have released some sort of map in the past few days, albeit a fairly low-resolution and fuzzy one - and without any evidence, shooting it down could be seen as an act of war anyway. They'd be well within international war to declare war on us."

"Are you saying we have to go to war with them to stop them?" As heavy-handed a leader as Kucinič was, to be at war with another country was, well... Kinitaria hadn't been in that situation for generations. The nation would struggle to handle it.

"Not entirely, comrade. I wouldn't recommend declaring war anyway, because our troops are tied up maintaining order for the purposes of this football tournament, anyway. We'd be a sitting duck. The way to get back at them is to build up our own technology, and find up what they're up to before they find out what we're up to."

"But we're not up to..." began Kucinič, before tailing off. "I mean, that would take decades, wouldn't it?"

"Comrade Premier, I am not the person you need to speak to about that," Lisineva smiled. "Might I recommend a word with your minister for technology? One does pick up certain information, though." Even in her high position, there were things Lisineva wasn't exactly supposed to know. She had the knack of finding them out. Perhaps that's why she seemed to wield such a disproportionate amount of power in the Kinitar power structure.

"What sort of information?" demanded Kucinič.

"Let's just say our military technology is better developed and has more applications than you think. While we can hardly start firing satellites into the air tomorrow, we're one of the most technologically advanced nations in our part of the world. I'm inclined to say this would take on the order of years, as opposed to decades."

"Then that's getting brought up at the next Politburo meeting," Kucinič responded affirmatively, always one for an executive decision. "Now, I don't suppose you've seen the letter from the Armakistan government? They seem very keen on helping us out with the situation in Paravači."

"As for that, the decision is all yours," Lisineva responded in a tone that suggested the matter was much lighter than it actually was. "Although as for the repercussions of your decision, you cannot underestimate the severity of allowing foreign troops onto Kinitar soil. Is that what you wish your legacy to be?"

"You say it as though they're invading. They would be confined to one small part of the Chyr region, which is a region that desperately needs to be brought under control. As our friend and ally, they would be invited in to help maintain order. There is a quite significant difference there."

"There'll be pitched battles all over the region."

"Comrade Lisineva, there are already pitched battles all over the region, we are struggling to cope, and I for one will not stand back for a moment longer and watch my country further descend into chaos! I intend to get into contact with their leader at once and accept this offer. We can deal with any fallout once we have put an end to this opportunistic rabble-rousing and we have control of our country back!" The tone of his voice made it clear that there was no room for argument, and indeed, he set himself at once to composing a note to the Armakistani leader.

From: Irin Kucinič, Premier of the Supreme People's Council of Kinitaria
To: Jacob Marston, Glorious Leader of Armakistan

Comrade,

I would like to thank you for your support, both to my government and the Kinitar people, at such a troubled time. On behalf of the Kinitar nation, I am delighted to accept your offer to help bring order to the streets of Paravači. However, as you are no doubt aware, this is a politically sensitive time for my country, and the last thing we want is to inflame tensions any further. Therefore, we request that, while your troops are permitted into Kinitaria, they seek to impose authority on a scale no wider than the city limits of Paravači.

We receive your offer to assist us in this crisis with gratitude, and look forward to a period of co-operation and solidarity between our two nations.

Regards,
Irin Kucinič, Premier
Socialist Federal Republic of Kinitaria

But while the region of Chyr burned, the capital city of Mi'ato waited on hair-trigger alert for something to happen. The Kinitar army had been more or less successful in keeping dissent to a minimum in the Cup of Harmony host cities. Speaking of which, there was a football match happening in the capital that day, in which Kinitaria clashed with Ossidiacqua. The Acquans had visited the Central Stadium once before, in Kinitaria's maiden World Cup cycle, a game in which the home side had emerged victorious 3-2.

On that occasion, the harsh tackling of the visitors had taken Kinitaria by surprise. Physically robust as the Kinitar game might be, they were horribly naive back then, something which played into the Acquans' hands. Thankfully, the referee had been on the side of people not getting their legs broken that day, and a bit of class from Luka Sabčot - oh, how they missed his talents - had seen the Kinitar side emerge victorious.

But Melody Pond's side knew what to expect this time. Over time, they had gained a reputation in their own right as one of the more physical sides in the world game. Their clash with Mytannion in the previous cycle had entered Kinitar football folklore for the six red cards, dramatic victory, and off-field chaos that took place during that game. The Acquans were a slightly different prospect - not violent per se, just with a different opinion to most people on what counted as a good tackle.

It took less than two minutes for the first yellow card to be brandished, shown to Oscar Olivarez for a crunching tackle on the veteran Sergiu Vacarestič. In Olivarez's defense, he went for the ball. Unfortunately, he got nowhere near it. It set the tone for what was going to be a fairly ugly encounter, and David Topol saw yellow a couple of minutes later for a trip on Finiguerra. It could have been red, and certainly the Acquan bench thought so, but the referee ruled in favour of there being a covering defender.

The Central Stadium was stunned when the Acquans took the lead. A corner whipped in by Gardella was met by the head of Fisichella, taking it straight past the stranded Alčer. Melody Pond looked furious with her team, who had failed to heed her warnings about the physical strength of their opponents from set pieces. But they didn't have long to wait before Kinitaria were level, Navra Kulisev cancelling out the lead within three minutes after dodging one lunging tackle and planting the ball into the bottom corner of Fausti's net.

The Acquans weren't prepared to give an inch in the struggle for territory, and both Polanco and Pantani were booked for well-intentioned, albeit over-the-top, tackles that drew the ire of the Kinitar coaching staff. Tondro Shildir also found himself in the book for the hosts, this one for a lunge on Velasquez that the visitors were adamant should have resulted in a penalty. After taking his time deciding, the referee pointed for a free-kick just outside the box, which was wasted.

The second half began at an equally high tempo, with the first flashpoint coming a few minutes in as Fisichella cleaned out Virne Limcič as the Kinitar striker looked to run through on goal. Samuel Costica saw the red mist and lashed out at the Acquan defender, and the situation required the hasty intervention of the officials before it could get much more serious. Fisichella and Costica were both off, despite their protests, as was Limcič, who left on a stretcher, to be replaced by Beskid.

Kinitaria proved to be a lot better at re-organising with ten men than their opponents. Gaps started to appear in the tactically naive Acquan side, which were exploited by the Kinitar wingers in particular. Mulkanov had been preferred to Elkinič in the centre, and he gave them the lead midway through the second half when he was left unmarked to run in and get his head on Halil's cross from the right.

The Acquans weren't good enough, technically speaking, to recover from that blow, but they were here to give it their best shot, and they put the Kinitar defence under a lot of pressure immediately after the goal, without ever really achieving much save a few long-range efforts (and another yellow card, for Capobianco, whose kick on Sulemcev was probably a legitimate attempt to play the ball in the Acquan leagues). Kinitaria desperately needed to kill the game off, and that's what they did five minutes before the end, as Kulisev broke free of the defence and slotted the ball under the diving Fausti for his second of the game.

It wasn't long before the final whistle blew, confirming Kinitaria's passage to the last 16 of the Cup of Harmony. The target of the Kinitar Football Federation is to win the trophy on their home soil, but with this sort of result, who says that Kinitaria's in crisis anyway...?

by **Equestrian States** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:48 pm

Cup of Harmony 60: Group B Preview
by Steve McNotapony

Hello, Cup of Harmony! Long time, no see!

Well, not exactly a long time if you consider the fact that the final of the 57th Cup of Harmony was played at Royal Equestria Stadium in Canterlot. Still, the Equestrian States national team hasn't participated in one in almost five years so it's been a while since the Ponies last graced this tournament, and for good reason. Since the Equestrians' elimination in the 55th Cup of Harmony's group stage, the Ponies have reached new heights with a team that was - at least until recently - widely considered among the best and most promising in the multiverse.

Now, after failing to qualify for the World Cup finals via a playoff (again), the Equestrian States returns to the "other" tournament just one year removed from hosting the World Cup itself. Needless to say, it's been a disappointing year for Equestrian hoofball fans, with hopes for a deep World Cup run ending short of even the group stage, which has become the benchmark for any success in recent campaigns. Unlike other teams that suffer a bad year, however, the calls for head coach Twilight Striker to be fired have been minimal thus far given her long and successful career as a coach.

Entering the Cup of Harmony, the Ponies know they need to prove themselves once again and that the road ahead will be far from easy with a number of other high-profile teams also looking to rebound after failing to qualify for the finals. Among the favorites to travel home with a title are Farfadillis, The Archregimancy, and Ko-oren, all teams with a history against the Ponies in various competitions that have a decent shot at reaching the Cup of Harmony final from the Kazamatsuri half of the tournament field. With so many high-quality and well-known nations competing, this Cup of Harmony appears likely to be among the most competitive in recent history and the Ponies are among the favorites to win it all.

Interviews with Twilight Striker, the team's coaching staff, Hoofball Association officials, and the players themselves have revealed a shared goal: to win the Cup of Harmony. After a disappointing qualifying campaign, the Equestrians feel they owe it to the supporters to bring the Cup of Harmony to the land of Harmonism. There's no doubt that the Ponies have the talent and experience to go the distance and claim the Equestrian States' first ever major tournament victory. The Equestrian States has long dreamed of greatness, and a serious title challenge here in Kinitaria would prove that they still deserve to be considered among the multiverse's elite.

The Teams:

#16 - Equestrian States
Cup of Harmony Appearance: 6th (Cup of Harmony 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 60)
Head Coach:

Twilight Striker
World Cup 68 Qualifying: 11-2-5 (2nd in Group 23; Eliminated in Second Playoff by Buyan)
Starting Players (3-5-2): Gentle Breeze (GK, #1); Flitter (DF, #3); Andrea Molovi (DF, #8); Blackmane (DF, #26); Rainbow Blitz (MF, #9); Cloudchaser (MF, #2); Apple Jack (MF, #4); Krystal (MF, #32); Stardust (MF, #34); Fire Dash (FW, #10); Thunderlane (FW, #7); Full Roster

Overview
Less than twelve months ago, many thought the Equestrian States was on the verge of cementing its spot among the multiverse's greatest teams. After successfully hosting the 67th World Cup, the Ponies were expected to rather easily qualify for what would be their fifth consecutive World Cup finals despite being drawn into a difficult qualifying group against Zwangzug and Iturributa. Hopes were high among supporters and pundits alike, and the Equestrians seemed almost unbeatable, boasting a 36-17-5 record since World Cup 64. But things quickly went wrong for the Ponies, with two humiliating losses to Zwangzug dooming the team to a second place finish in their group, and two equally humiliating defeats at the hands of Buyan cemented the Equestrians' relegation to the Cup of Harmony. With fans still trying to come to terms with the Ponies' shocking playoff elimination, the coaches and players have turned their eyes to the goal of restoring the Equestrian States to its place among the elite; and hoisting the Cup of Harmony trophy here in Kinitaria would certainly go a long way towards making that happen.

How They Ended Up Here
The Ponies' qualifying campaign got off to a rough start, with the Equestrian States struggling to beat unranked McKleigh at home before falling 3-0 to Zwangzug in their worst defeat in a World Cup qualifying match since the 6-2 thrashing doled out on the road to the Ponies by Qazox during the World Cup 62 cycle. Facing Iturributa in their third match, the Equestrians quickly fell behind 2-0, but a Pristina Shine goal just before the half put the Ponies back within one. After the break, it was all Ponies as the Equestrian States rebounded with two more goals to turn what initially looked like a second humiliating defeat in as many weeks into a thrilling come-from behind victory. Head Coach Twilight Striker used the win as inspiration for a string of five consecutive victories that saw the Equestrians outscore their opponents by a 21-5 margin.

Thus, the Equestrian States traveled to Zwangzug extremely confident and determined to prove that their first defeat was nothing more than a fluke. Unfortunately, fate did not smile on the Ponies that day and a second 3-0 beating sent the Equestrians home very disappointed. Since then, the Equestrian States has yet to rebound as they did after that first loss, and though the Ponies showed signs of brilliance in a 5-1 hammering of Patistan, the Equestrians are still far from being on their best form. On the final day of the group stage, facing a typically horrendous Gandham Islands side that was 0-0-13 before the match, Twilight Striker started a roster consisting of third and fourth-stringers and, thanks to a pair of very early and extremely controversial red cards, suffered a shocking and deeply disappointing 3-3 draw.

As the second place finishers from Qualifying Group 23, the Ponies would need to win two consecutive playoffs in order to reach the World Cup finals. Drawn against 171st-ranked Armakistan in the Runners Up Playoff, the Equestrians were widely considered heavy favorites and expected to easily win both matches of the playoff despite strong performances by the Armakistanis against Northern Sunrise Islands and Kinitaria. However, in a game marred by extremely poor and highly questionable officiating, the Equestrian States lost the first match to a jubilant Armakistan. The second match also got off to a poor start for the Ponies, as they fell behind early in the first half, but rallied in the final 45 minutes to claim a 5-4 aggregate victory that sent them through to the second playoff round.

What to Watch For
For the Equestrian States - as always - the number one thing to look for is for the Ponies' midfield to dominate every aspect of their games, even with injured vice-captain Starlight Sparkle missing from the squad. Considered among the finest in the world, the Equestrian midfield is as talented as it is deep, and a strong outing by its key members often means control of the match for the Ponies regardless of opposition. A perfect example of this is the Equestrian States' draw with eventual World Cup 67 winners and the current top-ranked team in the world: Polar Islandstates. The Ponies controlled that game with a quality that proved they could contend with the best in the world. Without a doubt, the biggest star for the Equestrian States these days is Rainbow Blitz, whose lightning-fast counterattacks make him one of the most dangerous players on the pitch and nearly unstoppable on his good days. Aside from the Makosile United star, however, the Ponies' midfield boasts a remarkable depth. Beyond the five starters, you have talented players like Ironhide, Apple Cobbler, Elaine Everdeen, and Rapid Dash, all of whom are more than capable of filling in seamlessly when called upon by Twilight Striker.

Prediction
The Equestrian States has never had much luck when it comes to the Cup of Harmony, being eliminated in the group stage three times out of five appearances thanks to losses or draws against the lowest-ranked team each year. Of course, the Ponies have never been the top-seeded team in their group, and their status this year as heavy favorites to at least get out of the group stage is well-deserved. A good number of the players on the Equestrian squad at the Cup of Harmony have played in some of those ill-fated campaigns and will be looking to win every match they play in Kinitaria. Nobody can deny that the Ponies have the talent and experience to at least challenge for a title this year, and the players and staff have made it abundantly clear that they want to bring home the Cup of Harmony. All things considered, I expect the Equestrians to win Group B and advance at least to the quarterfinals if not beyond. In my opinion, Jeru FC is the only team that should give the Equestrian States a hard time, though I think the Ponies will win out in the end. Steve McNotapony’s Prediction: 3-0-0; 1st in Group B

#53 - Jeru FC
Cup of Harmony Appearance: 8th (Cup of Harmony 30, 31, 32, 33, 55, 57, 58, 60)
Head Coach:

André Vaillancourt-Bosquet
World Cup 68 Qualifying: 9-3-4 (3rd in Group 1; Eliminated in Runners Up Playoff by Paradystopia)
Starting Players (4-4-2): Nathan Angelica (GK); Headless Munk (DF); Steve Silence (DF); Slimey Slitheen (DF); Ziggy Zygon (DF); Sid Scarecrow (MF); James Master (MF); Great Intelligence (MF); Dream Lord (MF); Rich Racnoss (FW); Daryl Dalek (FW); Full Roster

Overview
Of all the teams in Group B, Jeru FC has both the most appearances and most successful history in the tournament. However, it's hardly recent history, as the Cannons have struggled mightily in the last few years, falling from being in the top 10 all the way down to 53rd in the world. Jeru FC also has the most history against the Equestrian States, a history which has been very unkind to the Ponies, with the Equestrians being knocked out in the qualifying playoffs against the Cannons back when Jeru FC was a name to fear. Since then, the Equestrian States have rapidly climbed into the top 20 while Jeru FC have fallen far. But this year, luck deserted both teams as neither managed to qualify, and the rivalry between the Equestrians and Jeruselemites will see at least its temporary renewal in Kinitaria.

How They Ended Up Here
Jeru FC competed in Group 1 during qualifying, which was dominated by United Gordonopia and Buyan, the latter eventually being responsible for the Equestrian States' relegation to the Cup of Harmony this year. While the top two battled among themselves for the right to compete in the group winners' playoff, Jeru FC found itself challenged by Albaie and only clinched a playoff spot with the 6-1 demolition of minnows Lzherusskia. Drawn against Paradystopia in the runners-up playoff, the Cannons held out for a scoreless draw at home before falling on the road by a close 1-0 final that officially extended Jeru FC's qualifying drought to four years.

What to Watch For
To be perfectly honest, the Cannons aren't the most exciting team out there, nor do they have any players that are really well known outside their nation's borders. That's not to say that Jeru FC has bad players or coaches, but rather ones that - while talented - are generally underwhelming. It's really quite easy to see why they've fallen so far so fast, given the rise of younger national sides like Mizuyuki, Northern Sunrise Islands, or even the Equestrian States. Compared to Jeru FC, they're all newcomers to international competition, but have far more talented teams that can generate excitement in the press and among supporters. So, what to watch for from Jeru FC will be for the Cannons to attempt to reassert themselves on the international stage. If they fail to do even that, and fall in the group stage to a lesser team, the future certainly seems bleak for Jeru FC.

Prediction
There's no denying that the Equestrian States have to be considered the favorites to win the group. If the Ponies are playing on form, there will be no team that can stop them in the group stage. However, if Jeru FC somehow manage to get hot again after a dismal qualifying campaign, and the Equestrians are playing poorly, I could definitely see the Cannons pulling off an upset. But Jeru FC will have to be careful of the other two teams in the group, as I think that both Chiata and Zenic have a decent chance at knocking off the second seed and sneaking into the second round alongside the Equestrian States. Steve McNotapony’s Prediction: 1-1-1; 2nd in Group B

#72 - Chiata
Cup of Harmony Appearance: 2nd (Cup of Harmony 58, 60)
Head Coach:

Roger Fillmont
World Cup 68 Qualifying: 7-3-4 (4th in Group 20; Eliminated in Group Stage)
Starting Players (5-3-2): Fill Stewert (GK, #35); Lee Robertson (DF, #40); Roy Hubert (DF, #17); George Chriss (DF, #45); Buck Miles (DF, #54); George Smith (DF, #24); Logan Britt (MF, #44); Ram Willis (MF, #7); Bill Rickers (MF, #10); Sammy Swade (FW, #1); Joe Ringer-Toso (FW, #20); Full Roster

Overview
The Chiata Suns are not really a team that has much going in its favor. Their players are unremarkable, with little to comment on aside from their position and that they're decent at it. Head Coach Roger Fillmont isn't exactly a name known anywhere outside his home nation, and has - to my knowledge - no interesting background in the game. And finally, Chiata's history at the World Cup is simply laughable, their biggest accolade being their boasting a "winning" 33-13-32 overall record. Quite frankly, I'm surprised to see them here rather than the Crystal Empire, who have made slow but steady progress in their first three tournaments. Hell, even Lymantatia would be more interesting with the Jacques Bressler Show.

How They Ended Up Here
Continuing with the theme of Chiata being rather boring, there was precious little excitement throughout the Suns' qualifying campaign. A 2-2 draw at home against The Archregimancy was perhaps the only real surprising result, and even then there wasn't much to talk about. Though Chiata was in the group with some of the most upsets during qualifying, none seemed to happen when the Suns were involved. Sure they beat shock group winners Glaser on the final day, but it ultimately had no impact on the table, as Glaser still finished top and Chiata still missed a playoff spot.

What to Watch For
I should just rename this section to What Not to Watch For. The Suns play in an extremely defensive 5-3-2 formation that can turn potentially interesting matches in dull low-scoring contests at best. Facing a group with somewhat more aggressive teams, this could work to Chiata's favor. But unfortunately, the Suns' attack is nothing to write home about, and can't be expected to score the goals they need to score to win games. Remind me again, how did these guys get invited to the Cup of Harmony with their incredibly boring team? At least the Crystal Empire has some well-known talents on their team, and quite frankly are more exciting to watch even though they had a remarkable run of scoreless draws during qualifying that allowed them to finish among the best in goals allowed despite not reaching the playoffs.

Prediction
And so this preview of an extremely dull team comes to an end. The Suns' defense is their only notable strength, and could pose problems for their opponents who may grow tired of playing such an unremarkable team before the game is even halfway done. Against Jeru FC and Zenic, I think the result will be a draw, but against the Equestrian States, I expect the Ponies will bring some much needed energy to the contest and run away with all the points. Chiata's only real hope in advancing to the second round to be slaughtered will require them to at least get a point out of their match with Jeru FC, a legitimate possibility considering neither team has much going in its favor these days. Steve McNotapony’s Prediction: 0-2-1; 3rd in Group B

#104 - Zenic
Cup of Harmony Appearance: 1st (Cup of Harmony 60)
Head Coach:

Joseph Michael Sanders
World Cup 68 Qualifying: 6-3-5 (4th in Group 6; Eliminated in Group Stage)
Starting Players (4-4-2): Bartholomew Sagan (GK, #1); Yasif (DF, #29); Pedro Villa-Lobos (DF, #22); Nikolai Romanov (DF, #26); Leon Rosso (DF, #20); Luke Killian (MF, #10); Daniel Barnsley (MF, #98); Gavin Barnsley (MF, #89); Seok Kun-Woo (MF, #11); Victor Paredes (FW, #23); Alexander Ayaode (FW, #9); Full Roster

Overview
Unlike Jeru FC or Chiata, Zenic is a team that has a lot of potential in it and has been by far the best national squad to debut this year. Winning the Baptism of Fire and finishing fourth in their qualifying group behind Pasarga and West Angola has proven them to be a side with a bright future. Though some expect Zenic to go on to strangely vanish into the mists of time along with most other Baptism winners, there remains a small possibility that Zenic might be here to stay. One thing is for certain though, Zenic are coming into the Cup of Harmony wanting to prove themselves against some the best (and some of the mediocre), and will get the chance to do that early against the Equestrian States.

How They Ended Up Here
The Survivors (as Zenic's national team is called) started off their campaign reasonably well. Like many other Baptism of Fire participants, they lost their first match in qualifying, needing to adjust to the more competitive nature of the World Cup qualifiers. Zenic did so marvelously, only losing by one goal to favorites Pasarga and drawing against West Angola. At the midpoint of the campaign, things looked promising and the Survivors were just one point out of second, sitting in fourth a good ways clear of the fifth place team. A high-scoring draw against Hutt River kept them in the hunt, but things then started to unravel for the unfortunate Survivors. In two crucial games against a couple of the lower teams in the group, Zenic only claimed one point and Swyftlandre moved to within a point of the Survivors. Zenic again turned things around, with two wins against Pasarga and Praxeologicalia launching them back into the race for the playoffs, only to be stopped in their tracks by West Angola, their defeat eliminating them from playoff contention.

What to Watch For
Zenic have been involved in their fair share of high-scoring matches, and have been on both sides of such results. Thus, it only seems logical to point to their attack as the prime reason they've done so well. Striker Alexander Ayaode seems to be one of the players to watch, and against the world class talent of Gentle Breeze and the boring defensive play of Chiata will be put to the test. Quite simply, if the Survivors don't score goals, they will lose, and probably by a good margin too. Facing the Equestrian States, Zenic will need to take advantage of any and every opportunity that comes their way. Expect to see some solid attacking hoofball out of the Baptism of Fire winners, and some less-than-solid defending.

Prediction
Again, I think Zenic could possibly sneak out of the group with results against Jeru FC and Chiata, but I wouldn't bet on it. In the future, I could see the Survivors making it beyond the group stage of the Cup of Harmony, and expect they will someday. However, I think the superior experience of the other three Group B sides will be the deciding factor. I think Zenic can earn at least a draw against the Cannons or the Suns, but against the Ponies, I see no way for the Survivors to make it out of the match with a point. Steve McNotapony’s Prediction: 0-1-2; 4th in Group B

Projected Group B Results:
Each match based on 10,000 computer simulations using ScorePredictor technology

Match Day 1:
Equestrian States 3-0 Zenic at Stadion Universitii (cap. 40,000) in Tirinthea, Kinitaria
Jeru FC 2-2 Chiata at Stadion Irin Kucinič (cap. 49,000) in Lorceag, Kinitaria

Match Day 2:
Equestrian States 2-1 Jeru FC at Stadion Irin Kucinič (cap. 49,000) in Lorceag, Kinitaria
Chiata 1-1 Zenic at Stadion Universitii (cap. 40,000) in Tirinthea, Kinitaria

Match Day 3:
Equestrian States 2-0 Chiata at Stadion Irin Kucinič (cap. 49,000) in Lorceag, Kinitaria
Jeru FC 3-2 Zenic at Stadion Universitii (cap. 40,000) in Tirinthea, Kinitaria

  Group B                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1  Equestrian States       3    3   0   0     7    1   +6     9   Q
2  Jeru FC                 3    1   1   1     6    6    0     4   Q
3  Chiata                  3    0   2   1     3    5   -2     2
4  Zenic                   3    0   1   2     3    7   -4     1

OOC: This extremely late and now obviously inaccurate group preview is brought to you by the letter 'E', as in Evil Easter Weekend.

by **Yttribia** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:49 pm

There he was. Richard was sitting with his good friend Andres Brandt, after finishing his toilet cleaning duty, which took him longer than expected, going into the lunch hour. The two were eating Brandt's chili that he cooked earlier that morning. As the two are about to eat, they begin a lively chat about the Corvax Party.

"First off, this is some really good chili, Andres."

"Well, I didn't spit in it, nor added some sand into your chili, so that's why yours is good. You might want to look disgusted while eating that, or else you'll be getting bruises galore, alright?

"Mate, none of the blokes here is a juvenile, or an adult for that matter. I mean for crap's sake, this is more of a retirement complex then it is a prison! We're the ones who are out of whack, I mean look at us."

"True. Anyways, you've heard about the Corvax Party, right?"

"Who hasn't? They are taking storm faster than Vilhjalmsson can run forty meters. And I think it might be a good thing."

"Are you fucking insane? They're probably going to screw this nation over, make this a fascist state, and take away all of our liberties! Don't you think that could be a little too extreme, Andres?"

"Define the word 'extreme, Richard'."

"Well, um, it depends on the person. Personally, extreme is that one person, idea, or group goes over the social normal, goes over-"

"Enough. Listen, Richard. The reason why the Corvax Party is taking the nation by storm is this. On their official party agenda, they have the 'reclamation of Yttribian land' as one of their top priorities. Do you know what they, the Corvax Party, mean by 'reclamation of Yttribian land?'"

Richard thought about what the Corvax Party meant. There wasn't any disputed land on Yttribia, or near it while he was thinking. He knows that all land claims that have been made were absolutely legal, and that there wasn't any need to expand the landmass of the greatest nation in all of the world, or at least that's what Richard thought. He kept thinking, until Andres spoke up once again, taking Richard out of his trance.

"It's the Isle of Tench, you idiot."

"Huh, huh huh? What?! Why the hell would we want to take over the Isle of Tench, if it's in rightful control and ownership of The Sarian? Is it just because we can?"

An old, old prisoner, with a cane, overheard what Richard had just said. The man was arrested for money laundering, and was a fierce supporter of the Corvax Party, and was disgusted to have seen Richard in general. However, it basically set him through the roof when Richard said those inevitable words.

"What the fuck did you just say, punk? Did I hear you defend The Sarian?"

Richard was visibly shaken, and now scared for his life. However, because he valued his friendship more than his political views, Andres decided to 'defend' Richard from a possible whacking.

"Easy there, mate. He just hasn't heard any news, and I'm just trying to catch him up on recent happenings. So go back to your seat, Don, and eat that chili."

"But it's crap, Andres. It's crap chili."

"I'm sorry, it must've been undercooked, so please, I'll go find the bloke who undercooked it, alright?"

"Damn it, fine."

The old man with a cane decided to calm down, and walk back to wherever he was seating. Richard breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed, knowing that he was home free.

"Holy crap, is this such a fiercely debated issue? And is the Isle of Tench that big of an issue now-a-days?"

"No. It's more. See, the Isle of Tench was originally apart of Fontvieille's territory, back when it was the city-state kingdom it was, and whatnot. However, once our nation was formed, when the six regions were unified as Yttribia and whatnot, the Isle of Tench was somehow forgotten. Eventually, those fuckers from The Sarian somehow took control of the island, and it's theirs ever since. Now, it's time to take control of what was rightfully ours. What has always been rightfully ours. Just wait for the Federal Council elections in all other regions to happen, and watch as the world is molded into our perfect view."

All of a sudden, the gruff voice of the warden could be heard over the intercom. His gruff voice, and dry throat, needed some coughing to do, before he could speak of whatever he was going to speak.

"...excuse me for that, lads. As I am forced to keep you updated on regional happenings since that is one of our nation's rights, 'the right of knowledge of their surroundings...' or whatever that's supposed to mean, I'm here to report to you the results of the Federal Council seat up for grabs, thanks to one of our dear neighbors here. And now with 51 percent of the vote, after three rounds of eliminations and whatnot, the winning candidate of the Federal Council seat slash gubernatorial election is...drumroll please."

The prisoners began to laugh at the warden's joke of drumrolling as if they were chaps in grade school, until the Warden began to speak again.

"If I don't hear you all drumroll, then you will all fast tomorrow."

At once, all of the prisoners began to drumroll, reluctantly, but they were drumrolling. They were waiting to hear the results for the election, and most of them were on the edge of their seats.

"...Porter Augustin, of the Corvax Party. That is all."

The entire lunchroom went into a frenzy, of dancing in glee, joy in the fact that a change is to happen in the near future, and the fact that a better life was in store for all of them. All of them were delighted, except for Richard Vivas. Since he was the only centre-left leaning prisoner, he was not only devastated by the fact that a party from the right had won, he was devastated that the end of the Yttribia he had dreamed of was approaching quickly. He rushed to the bathroom, where the large billboard he saw could be seen, and waited for the billboard to change.

After a few moments of watching ads for television programmes, and mobile network ads pass by, he saw the Corvax Party's official billboard.

A Penedès in our point of view.

"This is the end, and I'm not fine."

Yttribian Football Federation
1125 Fillmore Boulevard
Fontvieille, Fontvieille Capital District, Yttribian Confederation
Telephone: +818 489 225 1549

PRESS RELEASE FROM THE DESK OF: Hubert Thompsett, President, Yttribian Football Federation

It is with great joy, elation to say, that the Yttribian Football Federation has found a new head coach to fill the blank spot Simon Jewel left when he retired from managing international football. Daniel Cardona, a fifty-three year old manager from the nation of Felix, has officially been chosen as the new manager for the Yttribian squad. His previous success includes leading the Felixian team, straight out of their Baptism of Fire, to a respectable third place, and a single point off of qualification for that World Cup. His great success at German-American States club Eisenport FC has brought Cardona back from a disappointing second qualification cycle with the Phoenix, and has earned the attention, and eventual approval of the Yttribian Football Federation for a new manager who can lead the team into greatness. He is to take charge of the Yttribian squad at the beginning of the tenth Campionato Esportiva, which we hope to bring to Yttribia.

We would like to thank all candidates who applied for this job, and wish them best luck in their future endeavors, whatever they may be.

by **Chiata** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:07 pm

Occupation
Part 3

Ropkii, Deala-

Maj. Johnson- Alright boys, there is a message coming in.

Grandfather to Little Boy.
The seas are rather nice out today.
I measured the water temperature to be from 53 degrees to 22 degrees Fahrenheit.
Sadly, the ocean smelled a little bad.
Luckily, I avoided getting wet by standing on a group of five rocks.
Message over.

Sgt. Pricket- Aww... you have got to love code.

Maj. Johnson- Allow me to translate. Grandfather and Little Boy are simple call signals. "The seas are rather nice out today," means that our target is on the coast of Deala. The water temperatures are latitudes, or 53 degrees and 22 minutes North. Based on this, we can figure that our target is in the city of Jalpova, a coastal city at the given latitude. "The ocean smelled a little bad" is referring to a factory which causes water pollution. There are roughly seven factories in Jalpova. Lastly, the five rocks represent the number of smoke stacks on the factory. This means that out target is the Johnston Inc. Factory. This factory refines oil which could help the Carialus occupation. Therefor, it is our job to neutralize it. Any questions?

*silence

Maj. Johnson- Alright boys, move out!

***

Jalpova, Deala-

Lt. Grable- Try to act natural Grddi.

Sam Grddi- I know, I know, but it's hard when you know your about to destroy a building that your own people built.

Lt. Grable- Would you rather let is be and watch as it pumps fuel into the veins of the Carialite Army?

Sam Grddi- Will, no...

Lt. Grable- Then get with it.

*a few minutes later*

Maj. Johnson- Were here. Time to enact, the distraction.

Sgt. Pricket- Resistance members, it's been an honor serving with you.

Hans Vilski- You too. Let it be known that we did this for Deala. Undoubtedly, we will be forgotten under the shadow of the dreaded occupation, but let you be the few souls that will remember our presence; our sacrifice. For freedom.

Sgt. Pricket- *Grasping Vilski's shoulder* For freedom.

*Vilski nods

Hans Vilski- For Deala!

*the rest of the resistance members run with Vilski towards the front entrance of the factory.

Sam Grddi- For our freedom!

*shots began to ring out between the resistance and the Carialite soldiers there.

*quickly, the group of three trained soldiers snuck to the sides of the factory undetected.

Maj. Johnson- Quick, break the window!

*the window shatters and the soldiers pile in

Maj. Johnson- There's the main power generator.

Sgt. Pricket- I got the C4!

Sgt. Pricket- I have it attached! Let's get out of here!

*Shots ring out in the factory and all three Chiatans fall down.

Carialite Soldier- *In thick French accent* You thought you could destroy us. Huh? Well guess again you dirty Chiatans. United, Carialus is strong. Carialus with Deala little brother, we become unstoppable!

Lt. Grable- Never!

*Lt. Grable does a sweeping kick that brings the Carialite to the floor.

*Lt. Grable lunges for the C4.

Carialite Soldier- You fool!

Lt. Grable- What's the difference between a dead scholar and a dead fool...

*the factory explodes in a massive fire ball fed by crude oil and gasoline

by **Kinitaria** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:20 pm

Groups E-H: Matchday 3 Results

Group E
Taeshan 1–0 Nexxus Drako - @ Hexagon Park, Yuigahama
Bears Armed 2–2 Kazamatsuri - @ Sekine Memorial Stadium, Kizuna

Group E                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Taeshan                  3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9  Q
2 Kazamatsuri              3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4  Q
3 Bears Armed              3   0  2  1    4   5  −1    2
4 Nexxus Drako             3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1

Group F
Kandorith 2–1 Star United States - @ Shiranao, Yuigahama
Albaie 2–2 The Archregimancy - @ Tenshi Dome, Kizuna

Group F                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kandorith                3   2  1  0    5   3  +2    7  Q
2 The Archregimancy        3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5  Q
3 Albaie                   3   1  1  1    7   7   0    4
4 Star United States       3   0  0  3    4   7  −3    0

Group G
New Montreal States 1–1 HopNation - @ Sylph Cube, Kizuna
Armakistan 0–1 Ko-oren - @ Midori-no-kaze, Kizuna

Group G                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ko-oren                  3   2  0  1    4   1  +3    6  Q
2 HopNation                3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5  Q
3 Armakistan               3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
4 New Montreal States      3   0  1  2    2   6  −4    1

Group H
Astograth 1–0 Yttribia - @ Horizon Bridge, Yuigahama
Cosumar 2–4 Farfadillis - @ Wave Arena, Kizuna

Group H                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Farfadillis              3   2  1  0   10   7  +3    7  Q
2 Astograth                3   1  2  0    8   7  +1    5  Q
3 Cosumar                  3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
4 Yttribia                 3   0  0  3    2   6  −4    0

Congratulations to the eight teams who qualified out of the Kazamatsurian section of the draw! Here's the lineup for the round of 16:

Taeshan v. The Archregimancy
@ Sekine Memorial Stadium, Kizuna

Ko-oren v. Astograth
@ Hexagon Park, Yuigahama

Kandorith v. Kazamatsuri
@ Shiranao, Yuigahama

Farfadillis v. HopNation
@ Tenshi Dome, Kizuna

We'll be back in 48 hours to bring you the results of the second round.

by **Kazamatsuri** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:24 pm

Groups A-D : Matchday 3 Results

Group A
Ossidiacqua 2–1 Schiavonia - @ Stadion Munisipaliya, Litora
Gregoryisgodistan 1–0 Kinitaria - @ Central Stadium, Mi'ato

Group A                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kinitaria               3    2   0   1     4    2   +2     6
2 Gregoryisgodistan       3    1   1   1     2    2    0     4
3 Ossidiacqua             3    1   1   1     4    5   −1     4
4 Schiavonia              3    1   0   2     2    3   −1     3

Group B
Jeru FC 3–3 Zenic - @ Stadion Universitii, Tirinthea
Chiata 0–1 Equestrian States - @ Stadion "Irin Kucinič", Lorceag

Group B                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Jeru FC                 3    2   1   0     8    5   +3     7
2 Equestrian States       3    2   0   1     4    2   +2     6
3 Chiata                  3    1   0   2     2    4   −2     3
4 Zenic                   3    0   1   2     3    6   −3     1

Group C
Zwangzug 1–2 The Sarian - @ Stadion Nasiyonala, Chyr
Kalumba 1–2 The Inevitable Syndicate - @ Stadion Republikana, Serenberg

Group C                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Inevitable Syndicate    3    3   0   0     6    1   +5     9
2 Kalumba                     3    1   1   1     6    6    0     4
3 The Sarian                  3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4
4 Zwangzug                    3    0   0   3     2    7   −5     0

Group D
West Angola 1–1 Electrum - @ Stadion "Dinamo", Paleu
Brenecia 0–2 Apox - @ Parc Četatii, Inovita

Group D                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Apox                    3    2   1   0     4    1   +3     7
2 Brenecia                3    2   0   1     5    4   +1     6
3 West Angola             3    0   2   1     2    3   −1     2
4 Electrum                3    0   1   2     3    6   −3     1

Round of 16 matchups

Kinitaria versus Equestrian States - @ Central Stadium, Mi'ato
The Inevitable Syndicate versus Brenecia - @ Parc Četatii, Inovita
Jeru FC versus Gregoryisgodistan - @ Stadion Republikana, Serenberg
Apox versus Kalumba - @ Stadion "Irin Kucinič", Lorceag

by **Jeru FC** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:09 pm

Naked News Jeruselem's Anna Beans and the Jeru FC coach Andre

Anna: Well done, and we avoided the Kintars
Andre: Yes, I'm glad about that one
Anna: But we got those weirdos from Gregoryisgodistan ...
Andre: The Foot Slaves, I guess
Anna: From the looks of it, they aren't attacking at all when it comes to style
Andre: Yes, parking the bus is more accurate

Anna: Means Equestrian States play Kinitaria
Andre: Number 16 vs 21 seed, huge game
Anna: The Ponies are struggling though
Andre: And Gregoryisgodistan beat the Kintars 1-0
Anna: But it was a dead game to the Kintars really
Andre: Zenic gave us a scare, we'd better be a lot more on the ball than today

Anna: The form teams seems to be Taeshan and those creepy Syndicate people
Andre: It seems anyone can win this cup
Anna: That includes us
Andre: We're still kicking and alive in this cup
Anna: There's rumours you'll be replaced
Andre: No one has asked me ...

Anna: Also rumours Melody, that's the Princess one, might go too
Andre: She's done far better than me, qualified for two cups. Me none
Anna: People always want more
Andre: I guess they do
Anna: Actually, even Pondy's position isn't secure either
Andre: She's in a tricky position really

Anna: Yes, I don't envy her here
Andre: Maybe she could take over as coach of Jeruselem
Anna: Wouldn't be hard, she's Princess Melody's best friend
Andre: I suspect they'll be looking for younger coaches though
Anna: I'm guessing a female one
Andre: I've looked around the JPL, there's plenty of female coaches out there to pick from

Anna: Nevermind, just concentrate on now because it's now or never
Andre: Nothing like the present. Did you play any football?
Anna: Me? I was no good
Andre: I've seen you kicking the ball with the boys. You aren't that bad
Anna: Nah, the standard in Jeruselem is pretty high. I'm not good enough
Andre: Don't write yourself off you know

Anna: Don't worry about me. I'm happy taking my clothes off on TV for a living.

by **West Angola** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:28 pm

So...I wrote this out completely, then went to a function and forgot to post it beforehand, only remembering on the drive home ten minutes ago. For what it's worth, here it is.

Cabinda had fallen into chaos. In the aftermath of President Raven’s assassination, a series of events had consumed the fragile government. News that the assassin had escaped, spirited away by his co-conspirators, had proved impossible to contain, as a leak from a minor CIS official had quickly exploded over Cabinda’s free press, even as the government-run news agency attempted to downplay the disaster. This news was only displaced by an even larger scandal that broke in the aftermath of the escape: the discovery and arrest of the man who had orchestrated the entire plot. Representing a double-failure of CIS internal security protocols, news of Hollis’ arrest had spread like a wildfire just minutes after it had happened. The next several days had progressed like a slow-motion train wreck, as Hollis had been murdered in his jail cell before he could be tried or interrogated, the Minister of State and the Minister of Finance had accused each other of attempting to illegally seize power, and the Minister of War had fled the country, leaving no clear successor and opening a second power struggle as a sideshow to the first among several top Cabindan military officials.

Cabinda’s hard-won freedom had seemed secure for the past four years, but all the time Raven had been the only thing holding the many ambitious personalities on his cabinet in check. With their leader removed, and his clearest successor, Hollis, revealed as his murderer and now dead, the nation’s leaders had devolved into infighting. Brief discussions of an election had fallen by the wayside after accusations of maneuvering between possible candidates, and despite the official scheduling of a preliminary election in the next month preparations for such had taken on the appearance of a war rather than an election. The city of Cabinda itself was especially divided, with barricades appearing across the city and armed factions marching in the streets. The tension was almost palpable, with the Army poised outside the city to strike and desperate members of the cabinet attempting to prevent General Farrel from moving his divisions against their partisans. The chief players in the struggle for power were the Ministers of the Interior and State, Paul Wilson and Greg Horran, each one had gathered thousands of supporters, who were now engaged in a tense standoff at the city center in the shadow of the government balcony where President Raven had been assassinated two weeks previous.

Behind the scenes, the influence of West Angolan Intelligence operatives remained unknown to the populace, but the effects of their actions remained exceedingly palpable. Lieutenant Nichols, following his rescue from the CIS facility, had escaped to the countryside outside the city and contacted Namibe to update them on the situation. Receiving word that Raven and Hollis were out of commission, dozens of special agents had been dropped in Cabinda to help ferment violence in the small northern country to speed its descent into civil war. Spearheading the operation was Colonel Peter Simmons, a veteran WAI operative who had helped oversee Operative Snakepit, the intelligence scheme to disguise anti-Euran sentiment within West Angola. Simmons had met with Nichols at the Lieutenant’s outpost for a full briefing, and had congratulated the officer on a job well done. Taking command of the situation, Simmons had begun funneling arms and munitions to the various civilian partisan groups. Knowing that if the Army steamrolled the city the war would likely be over in a matter of days, Simmons sought to arm the partisans to give them the defensive capability to hold off the initial assault and bog down the better-trained and supplied military forces for a long time, long enough to justify intervention from the south on humanitarian grounds.

The civil units had no idea that they were being armed by a foreign power, but several of those they were fighting for wouldn’t have cared anyway. To a man, the members of the deceased President’s cabinet were concerned solely with securing what they saw as their rightful place in charge of Cabinda, even as they preached messages of peace, liberty, and rights to those who were following them. Layers within layers of subterfuge covered Cabinda of late, and none of those involved understood how badly they were being used. The people drilling and training to fight were largely unaware of the designs of those they were supporting, and those men failed to see that they were being set up to fail and drag that nation into ruin by agents from a hostile foreign power that had been planning their demise for nearly half a decade.

by **Taeshan** » Tue Apr 22, 2014 9:06 pm

Knights Finish Group Stage with Win

It was a foregone conclusion that the Purple Knights of Taeshan would win the group and advance to the next round. But they still had a game to play, matchplay to get in and some things to work on. The Knights did not make the move they had twice done in qualifying, choosing to not rest the starters and instead making them play the unnecessary game. Hopefully this continued game time will keep them at their current form and get them ready heading into their playoff game. The playoff game which just happens to be against the top team on paper in the tournament, the Archregimancy. The Monks have managed a rather unimpressive group stage with ties in two of their games. The Monks were also famously the team that beat the Knights in the qualifier playoffs when the Knights were top 10 ranked and made their first ever streak of qualifiers end.

But lets not get to far ahead of where we are. Before we move forward we have to look back at the result against Nexxus Drako. It was a rather boring affair. With a win Nexxus Drako could have advanced, but the Knights basically played their old fashioned game of keep away throughout the affair and ultimately were the only team to strike in the game. Jordan Jaffacake won a corner off a free kick and then followed it up by scoring on another Mark Tlumach kick at the corner with a rising shot into the top corner of a low header. The Drako defense was dumbfounded and the in form Taeshani defender scored his 8th goal of the last year or so, and has funnily enought doubled his overall scoring in only two seasons.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:30 am

Sportscaster 128ZBBZNAHAAU: Great win for the Foot Slaves tonight. Next up is Jeru FC.

Sportscaster KJ9138010312: Don't you mean Jeruselem:

S1: No, apparently we're playing Jeru FC.

SK: That doesn't sound like a country.

S1: It's not. Apparently they're sons of Jeruselemi army personnel who decided it would be cool to form their own team.

SK: Military brats!

S1: But why do they get their own team? They're not a country.

SK: Well, the Special Administrative Zone has been talking about forming its own team.

S1: Well, that's a territory. It's not some random boys who thought it would be cool to form a soccer team.

SK: I don't get it. The World Cup Committee shouldn't allow this. Jeru FC should be banned from all competitions since they're a club, not a national team.

S1: Agreed. We should riot outside the World Cup Committee's offices until they agree to ban Jeru FC.

SK: Heck, yeah! Burn stuff, burn a "flag" of Jeru FC. Burn the World Cup Committee President in effigy. Kidnap one of Jeru FC's players!

S1: Maybe the last one goes a bit too far.

SK: Maybe, maybe not.

S1: Well, we shall see. For now, let's just hope our Foot Slaves can go out there and beat this non-nation impersonating thingy. But now, since it is exactly 11:00, please rise and sing along with the Gregoryisgodistani national anthem or you will be executed along with your family.

SK and S1:
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were -

S1: Gregory, Gregory, inventor of the solar bomb ...

SK: Gregory Gregory Master of Everything ...

(They continue singing the anthem, with SK a couple lines ahead of S1.)

S1: You dimwit. You forgot the lines about the solar bomb. Now you and your family will be executed.

(All of a sudden, eight police officers run onto the stage and tackle Sportscaster KJ9138010312, placing him in handcuffs. He is dragged off the stage. One Police officer walks up to the anchor desk and takes Sportscaster KJ9138010312's headset, then gets on air.)

Police Officer: Hello, my name is Police Officer KRUSSAH1U8128. Sportscaster KJ9138010312 has sung the wrong words to the national anthem. That is a capital crime punishable by death to him and his family. Let us commence with executing him on live TV.

S1: But I need to finish the Cup of Harmony preview.

*Police Officer KRUSSAH1U8128 shoots Sportscaster 128ZBBZNAHAAU in the head, killing him.*

POK: Not anymore you don't. This is the Execution Show now!

(Sportscaster KJ9138010312 is very slowly and painfully sliced to death and then he is beheaded while still alive.)

POK: Ok, now he is dead. We will make his head into a bomb and use it to blow up the family home with the family chained inside. Then there will be a mandatory post-execution burning ceremony for all in District 2, Ward 2. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

by **Armakistan** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:06 am

Armakistan team looked dejected after death of coach and are unable to progress

Armakistan's national team failed to score for the first time in their history tonight as they looked physically and mentally harmed by the sudden death of coach Henry Robertson who was sadly killed in the latest earthquake to hit Kazamatsuri. The team was however able to limit their world class opposition to just 1 goal which could have seen them qualify in 2nd place if HopNation had also lost. Sadly the rank outsiders for the group were able to pick up a draw against NMS to put themselves through to the knockout round. This meant Armakistan finished 3rd which when you take into consideration the events surrounding this CoH, is a pretty good result. Sadly players such as Nick Kelly, James Darling and even captain Henry Potters looked tired and dejected on the pitch despite Potters continuing to give everything he had including an incredible goal line clearance on the 32nd minute a crunching tackle to stop the opposition scoring a simple goal on the stroke of half time.

Ko-oren who are one of the favourites in the group will be looking to improve in their attacking play, although they eventually did score in the 64th minute through Izasul Terathu who used a good burst of pace to find room in the box after a great pass from Pta Talmis and turned the ball home past Daniels who even at full stretch could not keep the ball out. The game had no other real key points apart from a silly tackle by Bobby Bell with 2 minutes in go earned him a straight red card. Hopefully Esolywend Eregrent who had be taken off after the tackle will be recover quickly. He had a heavy limp but it didn't seem too bad for a player who had been rather quiet throughout the game. At the 90th minute the players applauded the fans and walked down the tunnel almost breathing a sigh of relief that they could go home and get some rest.

Armakistan player Tournament ratings

Greg Daniels - 7 (Solid saves, no real mistakes. Didn't keep a clean sheet but was a key man as usual in the task of trying to keep one)

James Hanson - 6 (Nothing special from the RB. Still young so hopefully will improve for the next cycle)
Phillip Boston - 7 (Looking like a great prospect. 1 assist and some great defensive displays)
Henry Potters - 8 (Led from the front as always. Only picked up one yellow and dug the team out of some big holes at times)
Alex Evergreen - 6 (Too many mistakes which led to goals. Still young and will have learnt more by the next cycle)

James Darling - 8 (Most assists in the team. Brilliant down his wing as always. Really a world class player)
Edward Appleby - 6 (Not as good as his BoF and WCQ performances. His very young and will be awesome in the future)
Bobby Bell - 6 (Solid as always. A true box-to-box midfielder. Silly red card in the final game brings down his rating)
Freddy Bell - 7 (Key passes as usual but not as many assists. Could be down to poor play by the strikers or maybe bad luck)

Martin Bucklebury - 7 (Best striker in the team. His brace in the first game was key but most be more consistent to be classed a world class striker)
Nick Kelly - 6 (Poor games by Armakistan's no.1 striker. 1 lucky goal against HopNation but for the first time ever he didn't score in a game. Now make that two games)

by **HopNation** » Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:03 am

Group G
Group findings, teams, and game results

We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, to make it to the next stage of this Cup of Harmony. We’ve got good players sure, but the competition is great here. I mean we were in a group with three squads that made it into the playoff section of World Cup 68 Qualifications, while we couldn’t even maintain our starting position in the group. We needed a little help to make it through, and well, we got it!

Teams

New Montreal States: Paladins
The Paladins have not had a good run in this Cup of Harmony, losing their first two games. As such they are playing more for pride today than anything else. They are a heavy attacking team and will be deploying a rather interesting 2-6-2 formation. It also doesn’t look like they have made any changes to the line-up so we’ll see Albie in goal again against the Hops. In front of him will be Pilon and Mullins, both playing centrally. Then we have the six man midfield, which looks like it will be somewhat of a diamond shape with two center mids between the defensive and attacking midfielders. At the defensive mid position we will find Gosselin, then just in front of him we’ll see Barnett Jr. and Delafrénière as the center mids. On the flanks they have Thibault on the left and Larchmont-Louvrier on the right. In front of those two center mids and playing the attacking mid position we see Georges-Laurent-Arsène Jean-Marie Deslauriers, and I listed the full name here as I’m not sure where it starts or ends, but anyway this gets us up to the two strikers. They have the single namer Tostig along with Phil Kimberly listed there. Perhaps the team hasn’t done so well due to an intern making the roster, or maybe because they have a new manager at the helm, who for some reason has selected his third wife to be assistant manager. Which ever it is this team really has no chance of advancing to the next round but they can play the spoiler to the Hops.

HopNation: Hops
The Hops have played very well since their lackluster performance in World Cup Qualifications. With that excellent play they are sitting in a possible advancement spot as they hold the second place position in Group G, just one point ahead of Ko-oren and seemingly tied with Armakistan who is actually just ahead of them on what looks to be goals for (still analyzing that statistic against the tiebreaker list). So, this game against the Paladins is of the utmost importance for the Hops if they want to continue playing in this Cup of Harmony. The starters for the Hops have reverted back to the original line-up, which I wasn’t sure why they chose to change against Armakistan. Subanos will be between the pipes as he continues to play well, although he hasn’t been tested all that much. Then the defensive four are made up of Loontas, Raefwar, Lesamnal, and Wiashrod. In front of those four are the defensive duo (not that they don’t join the attack) of Smuemund and Biaddan at the d-mid spots. The we once again find Droimpol in the middle of Loostin and Myer at the attacking mid positions. There has been a rumor that Myer is going to hang up his boots after this cycle, but I’d just like to squash those rumors before they get to far as he told me he still feels he is at the top of his game and would like to continue with the National Team if Coach Schmidt wishes him back. Then up top we’ll once again see our target man Schytaing. Hopefully the Hops can handle the physical play of the Paladins and not get caught up in their card happy team.

The Game
The teams would be playing Sylph Cube, the same place as the Hops last match so hopefully they are aware of the field conditions and play accordingly. We have not heard of any more damage to the building, but anything could happen considering what is transpiring in Kazamatsurian. There have been reports of more earthquakes and some interesting solar effects happening, but nothing about the Sylph Cube was found in those reports. So, to the game, both teams started out strong and didn’t want to back down at all in this match. The first half consisted of counter attack after counter attack, but each attempt forward was met with fierce opposition. The Paladins seemed to stop the attacks much further up on the field due in part to the six man midfield, while the Hops let the other team into their defensive third before stripping them of the ball and going the other way with it. Both sides had roughly equal possession numbers at the break and neither side had a shot on goal. During the break there was a massive earthquake, reported to our announcers as a 8.9 magnitude. This actually flattened the pitch to its original position (prior game and first half had a noticeable crack and height difference right around midfield). So the game was much more fluid in the second half as teams didn’t have to traverse the gap in the middle of the field. The Hops would strike first, in the 72nd minute, as Subanos distributed quickly after an arrant cross found his hands. Wiashrod received this distribution and turned up field to find Droimpol checking back and to the outside where Myer normally is. He one timed it into Smuemund who quickly switched fields and sent it wide and well forward to Loostin. Schytaing shifted with the ball to help Loostin transition it even farther forward. When Schytaing received Loostin’s pass he was nearly at the edge of the 18, he took a touch and headed towards the end line cutting into the 18 as he drew Pilon to him. Schytaing played a centering pass that angled back just past the penalty spot where Myer was closing in fast on. Myer struck the ball first time and easily hit the side netting leaving Albie laying on the ground after an excellent attempt to make the save. But the lead would be short lived as New Montreal States collected themselves and answered back after some nice play on the kick-off. It started with Tostig tapping the ball to Kimberly, Kimberly played wide and slightly forward to Thibault. Thibault would beat Loostin easily and head down field on the dribble. He connected with Barnett Jr. as Smuemund tried to close down space. Barnett Jr. played a first touch pass forward splitting Lesamnal and Wiashrod playing the ball directly into the path of Tostig. Tostig took a controlling touch and then buried it in the back of the goal as Subanos was unable to react quick enough. This knotted things up at 1s and is how the game would end. The two teams did have a couple more chances but both played very good defense despite both being so called attacking teams, the Paladins more so than the Hops.

The Group
On the final group match day we had a good many outcomes to consider as it was still up in the air as to who would be advancing to the next stage. Could Armakistan and HopNation pull off an amazing group upset and send the two top ranked teams in the group packing? Or could Ko-oren make a comeback and advance, after all they played extremely well against New Montreal States to keep their hopes alive. Well, Ko-oren did win against Armakistan and HopNation drew with New Montreal States, which dropped Armakistan from first to third while catapulting Ko-oren past HopNation and into the number one spot. HopNation held fast to the second place spot with the one point gained by the draw, so they along with Ko-oren will be playing at least one more game in this Cup of Harmony. Lets see how the group table looked after the third and final match of group play.

Group G                  Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ko-oren                  3   2  0  1    4   1  +3    6  Q
2 HopNation                3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5  Q 
3 Armakistan               3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
4 New Montreal States      3   0  1  2    2   6  −4    1

With that Ko-oren will be facing Astograth and HopNation will be taking on Farfadillis.

The Next Stage
This is often referred to as the knockout stage, so it’s win or go home. I can guarantee all the teams that have made it this far do not want to go home, well with the exception of perhaps The Archregimancy. Lets see who is playing who shall we.

Groups A to D (group games played in Kinitaria)

Group A+B
Group Winner			vs.	Group Runner-up		@			~
Kinitaria			vs.	Equestrian States	Central Stadium, Mi'ato
Jeru FC				vs.	Gregoryisgodistan	Stadion Republikana, Serenberg

Group C+D
Group Winner			vs.	Group Runner-up		@			~
The Inevitable Syndicate	vs.	Brenecia		Parc Četatii, Inovita
Apox				vs.	Kalumba			Stadion "Irin Kucinič", Lorceag

Groups E to H (group games played in Kazamatsuri)

Group E+F
Group Winner	vs.	Group Runner-up		@			~
Taeshan		vs.	The Archregimancy	Sekine Memorial Stadium, Kizuna
Kandorith	vs.	Kazamatsuri		Shiranao, Yuigahama

Group G+H
Group Winner	vs.	Group Runner-up		@			~
Ko-oren		vs.	Astograth		Hexagon Park, Yuigahama
Farfadillis	vs.	HopNation		Tenshi Dome, Kizuna

The Predictions

Groups A + B
Winner Group A vs. Runner-Up Group B
We have a battle of top 25 ranked teams in this match with Kinitaria taking on Equestrian States. The Ponies are the higher ranking team, though they have been struggling a bit as of late. They did have two wins in Group B but couldn’t manage to take the top spot with their lone loss. On the other hand we see Kinitaria with a similar group outcome, in terms of win/loss. So this game comes down to who wants it more, we see The Ponies advancing.

Winner Group B vs. Runner-Up Group A
Gregoryisgodistan stayed even with Ossidiacqua and managed to squeeze past and into the second spot in Group A. They have had a good run so far, though they would much rather have a couple more wins and perhaps someone will get executed for them not doing better. They will be facing Jeru FC, a somewhat surprise first place finisher though they deserve every bit of their success as they had a tall task ahead of them in order to take that top spot. This game will be close, with way to many cards, for no apparent reason, but it will be Jeru FC moving on.

Groups C + D
Winner Group C vs. Runner-Up Group D
This pairing sees one great team and one mediocre team facing off. The Inevitable Syndicate dispatched it’s group with out worry allowing only one goal against and scoring six to go undefeated. Then we have the Patriots, who didn’t play bad, they actually played fairly well and ended with two wins and a loss. However this will not be enough to escape into the next round and The Inevitable Syndicate goes through.

Winner Group D vs. Runner-Up Group C
Apox, what can we say about Apox? Two wins and a draw got them top spot in Group D; they scored four and allowed just one goal against. Sitting in a good spot their hopes are surely high to advance to the next stage, but they face Kalumba who has proven they can beat better foes that we may consider as good as Apox well almost as good. However they did draw a lesser opponent, so they seem to be up for one game and then down the next. With them just losing to The Inevitable Syndicate (scored the only goal against them too) we expect them to play well against Apox. Kalumba stamp their ticket, not to home but the next round.

Groups E + F
Winner Group E vs. Runner-Up Group F
This game finds a team that is trying desperately to go home, giving teams almost free range on the field as they do their dandiest not to play defense but somehow remain. While the other team won its group in great fashion of three wins. The Archregimancy may or may not change their mind about finishing strong in this Cup of Harmony, but it looks like they despise playing in the cup and thus will get what they have been looking for and that’s a trip home, Taeshan move along.

Winner Group F vs. Runner-Up Group E
Kandorith is playing well and deserve a top spot, after all they made it past the team that wants to go home now didn’t they, only in terms of place in the group. They actually tied and didn’t score a single goal against a team claiming they were “actively trying to lose the match”, so what do we take from that. Well that leaves the door wide open for Kazamatsuri who went 1-1-1 in group play. If Kandorith can’t score against a team trying to lose then I can’t see them moving on, Kazamatsuri go through.

Groups G + H
Winner Group G vs. Runner-Up Group H
Ko-oren got lucky they even made it out of the group stage; they did end with back to back wins but not after a rather “shaky” start. They did only allow one goal against, but that one goal cost them what we suppose would have been their goal of three wins. They will be facing Astograth, who seem to be on a skid and pulling off their only win in group play on the very last match day. It’s the Dragonflies hovering into the next round.

Winner Group H vs. Runner-Up Group G
Farfadillis was expected to win their group and did just that with a lone draw as the only tarnish on their record, well maybe not the only tarnish on there I mean look at the goals against…7 really 7 goals let in and they win the group. Only one other group winner allowed more than 3 goals against and that was Jeru FC who let in 5. Now, now, don’t get me wrong Farfadillis is an excellent team and they did score 10 goals, their defense is just a little suspect. They will take on our very own Hops, a sure surprise team coming from Group G. HopNation did take down Ko-oren so they get some credit there, but they couldn’t win any more and relied on two draws to push them into the second spot. Farfadillis allows a few goals but score more to play more.

There you have it a quick look at the upcoming matches. I sure hope our Hops can play well and even beat Farfadillis, but if not it’s been a pleasure bringing you the reports from the 60th Cup of Harmony.

Brew on, Brew well Hoptonians!

Ringwald Griffinsmith
HopNation Sports Reporter and Writer

Cup of Harmony 60: Everything Thread

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