12th Handball World Cup Everything Thread (IC)

[Nouvel Ecosse]

FORMER MG ARRESTED OVER HANDBALL PROTESTS' OTHERS RETURN TO ECOSSE

A leading former politician and high-profile Elvis Loves Walri Party representative has been arrested in Gregoryisgodistan and faces charges following a public protest outside a handball match between Britonisea and Communist New Slifer. Lee Denton Gresberet, who served the Arya Isles state as a Member of Government between the years of 1997 - 2009, could face a punishment ranging in severity from deportation and exile from Gregoryisgodistan to public execution, with the latter more likely. It is understood that representatives from the Nouvel Ecosse Government are currently en route to the country in hopes of pushing for the latter, although they understand that should the officials of Gregoryisgodistan deem that execution is the correct punishment there is little any of them can do.

The other protesters are either still missing or have returned home to Nouvel Ecosse, where they will receive a ban from Gregoryisgodistan. State councillor Giaccomo Mossetti told a crowd of reporters upon his arrival at Hannibal International Airport that "The regime is barbaric. Imagine, attempting to execute us for what is free speech and what is the truth. It has been a popular saying recently, but what I have saw of the country it is filled with idiotic plebs."

It is understood that the Ecossian officials will also meet with the hospitalised victims of the recent spate of unfortunate injuries suffered by Ecossian visitors to the country, and bring them back on their Government jet. This includes Caeschez, the handball player who took seriously ill due to an allergy to a food substance and not an Elvis song, as recently reported. We would also like to correct that article, where we mistakenly reported that the fans sang Elvis. It was in fact the opposition team's goalkeeper.

[Menukten]

The verbalic teleological structure of the universe, illustrated by Handball
by Professor Juju Jenkins

Handball, and sports in general, are a perfect example of what I call the verbalic teleological structure of the universe, that is, that reality is not primarily constructed by subjects who act upon static objects, but that a sort of verbal ontological forces catches subjects and individuals into certain kinds of actions. To illustrate the difference, we can say that a handball player can only be understood through the totalities of involvement that surround him, those involvements encompassing the entire universe and subject to topics like the history of handball, the history of sports, the history of clothing manufacturing, the history of the country the player is from, the players own history, etc. Now empirical science tells us that object consciousness is primary and that we can always step back and consider objects separated from their totalities of involvement. Conversely, however, we are always caught into verbal consciousness. That is when we engage in certain activities, our objective consciousness falls away and we consider ourselves as being caught up in a certain activity. The activity takes precedence, it is all that we are, our bodies are tools for that activities creation. And so a handball player, who one might think is acting upon a ball and a floor with hands and feet to advance up the court to the D-zone to score, is actually being caught up in this great activity called handball, Our entire bodies become the equipment for the great activity of Handball. As Heidegger said: When engaged in continuous skilled, Dasein “has no conscious experience of the items of equipment in use as independent objects (i.e. as the bearers of determinate properties that exist independently of the Dasein-centered context of action in which the equipmental entity is involved)”. Rather, the handball is said to be “phenomenologically transparent” as Dasein has no conscious awareness of the handball, the handball resin or the hand. Dasein has been so caught up with the activity of handballing that is has no awareness of itself, the handball, or resin as distinctive beings separated from itself. What results is a non-subject-object form of consciousness, what one may call verbal-awareness, as the activity unfolding itself has come to have ontological priority over the entities being used for or engaged in that activity

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Here comes the cutoff
Here comes the cutoff, and I say
It's all right.

Edit: And results. Took a while since xkoronate screwed up the tiebreakers. Knockout stage matches to come in a separate post.

Group A
Equestrian States 24–24 Super-Llamaland
Quebec 26–22 Jecatria

  Group A                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Quebec                         8    8   0   0   218  185  +33    24
2 Equestrian States              8    4   1   3   201  186  +15    13
3 Jecatria                       8    3   0   5   194  218  −24     9
4 Super-Llamaland                8    2   1   5   205  202   +3     7
5 New Greek Republic             8    2   0   6   189  216  −27     6

Group B
Nouvel Ecosse 29–23 Britonisea
Thatius 28–24 Communist New Slifer

  Group B                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Thatius                        8    6   0   2   221  200  +21    18
2 Nouvel Ecosse                  8    4   1   3   214  201  +13    13
3 Britonisea                     8    4   0   4   211  231  −20    12
4 Vettrera                       8    3   1   4   205  197   +8    10
5 Communist New Slifer           8    2   0   6   210  232  −22     6

Group C
Sicoutimont 26–27 Seahold
Uitbregen 24–22 New North Aqmuland

  Group C                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Uitbregen                      8    5   0   3   207  183  +24    15
2 Seahold                        8    5   0   3   206  197   +9    15
3 Sicoutimont                    8    5   0   3   214  207   +7    15
4 New North Aqmuland             8    5   0   3   206  207   −1    15
5 Gloriax                        8    0   0   8   179  218  −39     0

Group D
Polar Islandstates 29–27 York People
Northern Sunrise Islands 28–25 Socialist Tibet

  Group D                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Northern Sunrise Islands       8    7   0   1   223  191  +32    21
2 Polar Islandstates             8    5   0   3   214  203  +11    15
3 Socialist Tibet                8    4   0   4   206  211   −5    12
4 York People                    8    2   1   5   203  218  −15     7
5 Patistan                       8    1   1   6   195  218  −23     4

Group E
San Jose Guayabal 28–21 Maximland
Saintland 29–24 Kolmya

  Group E                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 San Jose Guayabal              8    6   0   2   229  204  +25    18
2 Saintland                      8    5   0   3   234  211  +23    15
3 Ko-oren                        8    5   0   3   230  220  +10    15
4 Maximland                      8    2   1   5   201  225  −24     7
5 Kolmya                         8    1   1   6   189  223  −34     4

Group F
Nassau-Hessen 29–24 Western Cuba
Royal Barangay 27–23 Alparia

  Group F                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Royal Barangay                 8    8   0   0   227  181  +46    24
2 Nassau-Hessen                  8    6   0   2   220  197  +23    18
3 Alparia                        8    3   0   5   209  219  −10     9
4 Jeckland                       8    2   0   6   195  222  −27     6
5 Western Cuba                   8    1   0   7   201  233  −32     3

Group G
Gregoryisgodistan 29–24 Yttribia
Darmen 27–20 Tidal Wake

  Group G                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Menukten                       8    7   0   1   233  199  +34    21
2 Gregoryisgodistan              8    5   0   3   224  215   +9    15
3 Yttribia                       8    3   0   5   211  224  −13     9
4 Darmen                         8    3   0   5   198  197   +1     9
5 Tidal Wake                     8    2   0   6   194  225  −31     6

Group H
Costa de Ouro 29–27 Cotdelapoms
Felix 33–22 Arenales

  Group H                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Felix                          8    7   0   1   234  193  +41    21
2 Costa de Ouro                  8    5   0   3   211  207   +4    15
3 Darvale                        8    3   0   5   202  219  −17     9
4 Arenales                       8    3   0   5   209  229  −20     9
5 Cotdelapoms                    8    2   0   6   213  221   −8     6

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Here are the matchups for the knockout stage. As a reminder, tomorrow is an off day and scorination resumes Monday.

Game 1: Quebec vs. Nouvel Ecosse at Lord Almighty Gregory Arena
Game 2: Uitbregen vs. Polar Islandstates at Willingsley Arena
Game 3: San Jose Guayabal vs. Nassau-Hessen at Lord Almighty Gregory Arena
Game 4: Menukten vs. Costa de Ouro at Willingsley Arena
Game 5: Thatius vs. Equestrian States at Handball Club of District 13
Game 6: Northern Sunrise Islands vs. Seahold at Gregoryisgodistan Events Center
Game 7: Royal Barangay vs. Saintland at LAGNU Gymnasium
Game 8: Felix vs. Gregoryisgodistan at Student Recreational Facility

The winner of Game 1 will face the Winner of Game 2, and so on.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Jeckland will be scorinating the Gregoryisgodistan-Felix match. His cutoff will be in the same window as mine (8-10 PM) though maybe not at the same time. My cutoff will likely be early in that window. I don't know about his. I will also be grading Felix's RP separately, and in the event that he advances, my score, not Jeckland's, will be used for future bonuses.

Edit: Actually Quebec will scorinate.

[Nouvel Ecosse]

ECOSSE TRIUMPH AT HANDBALL, MEDIA ACTUALLY COVER MATCH

There was shock and surprise after the media in Nouvel Ecosse stopped covering escalating events at the Handball World Cup...to actually cover the Handball World Cup.

Shocked Newspaper readers were taken aback when they opened their purchases to read up on developments of the upcoming Gresberet trial in Gregoryisgodistan, only to find themselves confronted by a story on Nouvel Ecosse reaching the Knock-out stages of the Handball World Cup.

Following a victory over second place Britonisea, which saw the country leapfrog the boycotters into said position, Nouvel Ecosse were drawn against the so-far unbeaten Royal Kingdom of Quebec, who finished their group unbeaten and with an impressive +33 Goal Diffirence, no easy feat, and the nation will be a major contender in the Cup overall. They are predicted by Bookies, including Trembolet Betting Agents, to comfortably defeat the plucky, aft inconsistent Ecossian side, who are missing one of their star forwards.

Alan Caeschez has returned to a hospital in Nouvel Ecosse where officials say he may remain for some time. The exact severity of the allergy ahs supposedly become worse since he took ill during the match against Thatius, which some theorists have blamed due to the fact that Elvis was played on the national radio. However, medical officials have rubbished this story, claiming that it is standard procedure for there to be no radio on in both ambulances and the ward where Caeschez is currently being kept.

The trial of former politician and Member of Government Lee Denton Gresberet, with the Ecosse Government now resigned to having to accept the fate of the trial and the punishment that is handed out, which could be as severe as execution. Said one unnamed official in the embassy project, "Gresberet knew the risks when he travelled to Gregoryisgodistan. Althought he laws of foreign countries may seem Archaic, we still have to respect them, and if the punishment is death then don't do it. Gresberet unfortunately did not heed this advice.".

His trial will be tomorrow.

[Saintland]

After a hard-fought battle, Vindicta Progressvm finally overcame Kolmya and qualified for the knockout rounds of the 12th Handball World Cup. It certainly hadn't been easy. While they were supposedly the "Saintland National Handball Team," Vindicta Progressvm certainly didn't play like it. They had managed to start the tournament with 3 losses in their first 5 matches before winning 3 straight to advance out of the group stage. That certainly wasn't the kind of performance that one would expect out of the so-called "#2 ranked" team, but they weren't actually the #2 ranked team.

Instead, they were a bunch of foreign resident high school students from St. Paulus, Saintland, who had managed to escape the backward theocracy where they lived, in order to compete in the Handball World Cup in Gregoryisgodistan. With backing from Nicholls Enterprises, a prominent Republican corporation that spends a substantial sum of money battling religious fanaticism in the Free Republics and abroad, they would be placed in an exclusive Republican boarding school once this tournament was over. While that would certainly be preferable to being in Gregoryisgodistan, their favorable public statements directed toward the maniacal dictator notwithstanding, they had the opportunity to embarrass the Sanctii government by winning a Handball World Cup title. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and they had no desire of squandering it, even if they would have to defeat the Royal Barangay, the top-ranked team, to continue playing on past the Round of 16

Laura Norris - What exactly is a Barangay?

Mason Barker - I don't know.

Kensuke Nagano - Why does it matter?

Steffen Fuerst - Whatever a Barangay is, we just need to beat them.

Jonathan Kyeongshin Materson-Leblanc - If we beat them, we're either facing Felix, the defending champions, or we're facing the hosts.

Laura Norris - At least Lord Almighty Gregory admits that they are slaves. Some countries won't.

Mason Barker - You've got that right.

Kensuke Nagano - Stay focused. We're here to play handball. We don't need to concern ourselves with how Lord Almighty Gregory runs this fine nation.

Laura Norris - You can say that again.

Jonathan Kyeongshin Materson-Leblanc - Right. We're here to win a handball tournament.

Mackenzie Duncan - And that is what we're going to do.

Steffen Fuerst - And then we're going to dedicate our victory to Lord Almighty Gregory.

Laura Norris - Good idea.

The one thing that went unspoken was their common desire not to criticize the dictator of Gregoryisgodistan, the man who claimed to be God. That would be most unwise, but they all looked forward to going to the Free Republics and getting out of Gregoryisgodistan, preferably with the Handball World Cup trophy in their possession...

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Update from host: I messed up in my previous post. Today is a bye day and there will be no scorination. Scorination tomorrow will be around 8 PM most likely, though it may be on the later side, closer to 10. It will likely not be in between, so if I haven't cut off by around 8:30 or 8:45, assume you have another hour and a half, at least. Waiting confirmation from Quebec that this works for him.

Edit: Apparently I never said in my previous post that cutoff would be tonight. Either way, it isn't.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Score for Felix-Gregoryisgodistan match

Felix 24–22 Gregoryisgodistan

[Gregoryisgodistan]

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Results:

Quebec 29–24 Nouvel Ecosse
Uitbregen 24–24 Polar Islandstates (27–25 AET)
San Jose Guayabal 27–29 Nassau-Hessen
Menukten 24–25 Costa de Ouro
Thatius 25–24 Equestrian States
Northern Sunrise Islands 30–27 Seahold
The Royal Barangay 27–25 Saintland

Quarterfinal Matchups:

QF1: Quebec vs. Uitbregen at Lord Almighty Gregory Arena
QF2: Nassau-Hessen vs. Costa de Ouro at Handball Club at District 13
QF3: Thatius vs. Northern Sunrise Islands at Gregoryisgodistan Events Center
QF4: The Royal Barangay vs. Felix at LAGNU Gymnasium

Cutoff tomorrow will probably be around the same time as tonight. And thanks to Quebec for scorinating my game!

[Sangti]

WORLD CUP 68
Two reasons why the Gorillas will be eliminated in the Quarterfinals
by Jon-jon Lanzuela

GREGORYISGODISTAN - The Gorillas of The Royal Barangay remain unbeaten in the 12th Handball World Cup... for now.

The incumbent runners up of the Handball World Cup will have its rematch of last edition's final against defending champion Felix after winning a close match against former champions Saintland, 27-25 at LAGNU Gymnasium. The close win was the proof that this team was not so dominant as their last time out in home turf, and must level up to match the enthusiasm the pesky Felixians show at the current tournament. However, in the third time that our team faces the champs, I just had the feeling that we could see a repeat of the 27-24 win they scored over us. Why?

The Gorillas has not been dominating games. Of their eight group stage games, less than half of them had been wins of five points or greater. All other ties were four point wins, and with the recent close win now included in the list (Well I shouldn't include this into the list, oh well.), the Gorillas will look to demand more on their players to win matches, now that the crucial match will be in front of them. Not happening, mate.

It's the pesky Felixians. The Royal Barangay have been bumping into Felix these times. Or the other way around. Or whatever. These whatever-pun-you-may-call-it-ers at the Mardujsha-Terrabondante border have numerous run-ins with the sporting teams of Sangti/TRB. The first of those occurred in the CEdP when Felix eliminated the Angas Sangti from contention. The original Gorillas then made them pay when they eliminated their handball team from competition at HWC 10 - only to haunt them at the Arena Nacional at the final of the eleventh edition. The rivalry have spread to football these days, as the two teams met twice at the qualifiers of the Campionato Esportiva IX, with the Felixians never able to beat the Agilang Dilaw. The recent meeting between the two nations was the finals group stage of the World Cup 68, with the Agilang Dilaw demolishing them 3-0. Expect payback from their handball team this time.

With that, expect the Gorillas to lose the match, and the number 1 ranking after the Felix match.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

So the meme messed up. But it's cutoff time.

Edit: Fixed the meme. Results soon.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Here are your results.

Quebec 29–29 Uitbregen (32–30 AET)
Nassau-Hessen 30–28 Costa de Ouro
Thatius 31–24 Northern Sunrise Islands
Royal Barangay 23–30 Felix

Semifinals:
Quebec vs. Nassau-Hessen at LAGNU Gymnasium
Thatius vs. Felix at Gregoryisgodistan Events Center

The losers will play in the third place game on Thursday at LAGNU Gymnasium. The winners will face off in the final on Friday at Lord Almighty Gregory Arena.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Either way, it's cutoff. Sorry for the delay. I was busy IRL. Cutoff for the third place game tomorrow will be around 8:30 PM. Who will be in it? Find out NEXT!

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Results:

Quebec 28–29 Nassau-Hessen
Thatius 28–29 Felix

Quebec will play Thatius in the third place game tomorrow at LAGNU Gymnasium. On Friday, Felix will play Nassau-Hessen for the championship at Lord Almighty Gregory Arena.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Yes, this is actually policy at my school this weekend. Because up until four years ago, people got really drunk and crazy this weekend and then someone got killed in a drunken fight and so now they shut it down. Even though everyone from then has graduated. So now I'm mad and taking it out on NS because if I said it to a cop, I'd go to jail. Anyway, it's cutoff for the third-place game. Cutoff for the championship game will be tomorrow around 8.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

And here are your results.

Quebec 26–27 Thatius

Congrats to Thatius for his bronze.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Will Mal get his wish? That depends on who he plays for. But which team will win the nice shiny trophy? Find out next because it's CUTOFF!

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Who will win the nice, shiny trophy?

Felix 24–29 Nassau-Hessen

Congrats to the winner, and commiserations to the loser. It's been fun.