World Cup 68 RP Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:01 pm

Princess Melody by herself ...

This is Princess Melody for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in Astrograth, for the 2nd lot of playoffs because we lost to Saintland and must bet Astrograth. Now, you ask where's Little Amy? Has she given up? Err, no. She's in hospital because she's got concussion. She went for a header and so did an Astrograth defender, and well, got the ball and took her out as the same time. She doesn't rememeber a lot so it's no point putting her on TV. Don't worry about her. Well, I will but I'm her Mum and I always worry about her.

Anyway, we're in Astrograth and the home team got a 2-2 draw. Well it like we drew with Saintland 2-2 but we're the away team here so we have the away goal. These playoffs are the last ditch effort to get into finals with Astrograth surviving their first playoff and us failing to overcome Saint. There's no second chances now like Jeru FC found out, we're putting it all on the line now. We're not keen on a Cup of Harmony.

Our players have picked up yellow cards from the recent games against Saintland so we were a bit more careful this game. But at home, it's all our war. We're going all out because we don't want to be like Jeru FC who have fallen last two cups in playoffs.

A lot of folk say we've let in too many goals of recent. Well, in Saintland had really had to win and they were at home. Now, we're at home next and we're going really try to finish off this tie. We can't let them score more than us though.

Good news for my friend Melody Pond, Kinitaria won 1-0 at home against Vilita who are far from finished because one goal isn't much a buffer. But Vilita didn't get an away goal. Still, we don't have a buffer so they did better than us.

Cassadaigua or the Fillies, giddy up! They won 3-2 in Kandorith and have goal buffer which is also the away goal advantage too. Hopefully we can see them reach the finals with us because we need girl power to show itself.

It's Q&A time again, and more questions.

Someone asks if cooking for the team is a bit of a problem given everyone seems to have a different diet. Yes, given some of us eat anything and others have weird dietary requirement due to real health issues or religious taboos. I tell ya, chefs roll their eyes when they see our demands. Just to note, Christo Counta is banned from cooking for us because ... he's really bad.

Someone asks if we have a replacement for myself if I retire. The answer is ... well ... sort of, there's some people we have in mind but nothing has been signed. I'm not going name anyone because of confidenality reasons you will find out in due time. I may have a few grey hairs but I'm not finished.

OK, someone says our own Delia Daring recently made her first porno as a dare. Is she stepping the line and should be kicked out. OK, No. She's a football player and as long as it doesn't impact her football, I don't care. I've seen it and she's a pro so I think she might have an alternative career.

Someone writes about Billie Pippen's shocking performance againt Saint recently. I disagree, she's getting the blame for our defense folding under pressure that game. She made a number of good saves to keep it to 3-0. It could have been 6-0. She couldn't have stopped all those goals, two were simply impossible to stop.

Someone asks about the coach of Syrian North, Abdul Hama as potential Jeruselem coach. He's turned his team from losers to challenging Tel Aviv and Jerusalem United. He's done a great job with that team but just to note Syrian North has no female players and I found out later, no female staff. He could manage a Jeru FC but the question is can he manage a mixed team? Look at our team, it's more female.

A lot of people ask is that hard to win the cup? That's just a silly question, if it was easy we would have done it already. Just qualifying is bad enough and then getting out the group stage. I mean even trying to win the cup of harmony isn't easy. It's not impossible but it's not's far from easy ... it's just bloody f**kin hard.

People do ask why we treat football games as a conflict or war? It is, it's just no one dies. All this fair play business is beautiful and noble but we're here to win cup. we're not here to just look pretty, we're here to win that final game. You can't win all your games but what counts is winning that one game - the final. No one remembers you coming 2nd.

One more question. Who drinks the most in the tea? We all need our dihydrogen oxide, we're human but I assume it means alcohol. Quite a few of the team love the drink including myself. But if you have to ask who is the champ, it'd be Delia Daring. She's unbelievable, I mean even Little Amy who can take quite a bit can't match her. I wish I could match her prowess.

I got question from some if I still have a sex life even I'm technically a senior. Don't worry about me, I'm working on number three before my ability to bare children goes. I'm encouraging the kids to have more for me too. Melody has still got some life in her, don't worry. I'm still good looking for my age. Must be a good genes from Dazza Dallas who had like 5 kids.

That's it from me, we're going home!

Well, almost ... I have pick up someone from the local hospital first. She's got a few problems remembering the events of today, after today's game. Knowing my Amy she's going to be real unhappy about this so. I'd know, I hate hospitals - I don't think she likes them much either. I think most of us would avoid going to one unless you work there. It's no good hanging around sick people all day

by **Vilita** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 1:23 am

Take a Look around

Jungle Cats upended in Kinitaria, hope not to return

It was half time. It was an unfamiliar position for the Jungle Cats.

After having gone 16 games unbeaten during their World Cup 68 Qualifying campaign, Calaesa Mitaroka's team were losing. Not by an insurmountable scoreline, by any means, but the home team - Kinitaria - had the lead.

Unfortunately, it was not a particularly good time for the Vilitan National Team to start losing. This was it. This was when it counted. It was a two legged playoff to determine which of two teams would advance to the World Cup Finals.

Two of Atlantian Oceania's finest with just one spot available between them.

Calaesa Mitaroka didn't have to reach far for his half time motivation. They were in Kinitaria, after all.

As the players sat around the Locker Room, Mitaroka entered and didn't say anything. At first, he pondered his formation. He'd gone with a more attacking look - a 3-4-3. He knew Away goals could be important, so he was trying to get some goals. It wasn't working. Nili Ylimaiina had a few chances but squandered them. That was it.

"Do you guys want to just stay here?" Mitaroka exclaimed.

"I'll leave you guys here and just go home?" Mitaroka reiterated, likely referencing the fact that there was no way he'd be able to retain his job if Vilita were to lose the matchup and fail to qualify for the World Cup Finals.

But of course, Mitaroka's references were to the fact that Kinitaria was preparing to host the upcoming Cup of Harmony competition for the best of the rest, those who did not qualify for the World Cup 68 finals. The Jungle Cats would likely be headed back to Kinitaria if they lost the series, but there are no guarantees. Mitaroka wanted his team to take a look around, see if they liked what they saw and decide whether they wanted to stay.

Apparently the Vilitan players liked what they saw.

The Jungle Cats were unable to get on the scoresheet in the second half, suffering defeat for the first time in the campaign. While it was only a 1-0 result, it may as well have been 2-0 as without the away goal, the Jungle Cats had no tiebreaker in the event of a close match back in the return leg at the Tivali Ring Stadium in Alikki-Corra.

No one could really fault Cednia Beach AFC goalkeeper Jaqe Planst for the lone goal conceded in the match, but the attacking trio of Xcnaio Bansoa, Nili Ylimaiina and Lobaisa Akarelm looked uninspired and changes for the second leg were almost certain.

Of course, the Jungle Cats still expected to be a top seed in their group for the World Cup Finals and favorite to advance to the knockout stages - if they could just get to the finals. Anything can happen on any given day in sport, however, and only margaret knows if the Vilitan sacrifices over the course of the qualifying campaign were sufficient to get one more result in their favor on the final playoff day of World Cup 68 qualifying.

	Kinitaria
:: Goalscorers ::	:: Goalscorers :: :: 11' Navra Kulisev
:: Best Player: Steffyn Siazzu :: Worst Player: Nili Ylimaiina :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 8	:: Best Player: Malen Elkinič :: Worst Player: Samuel Costica :: Shots on Target: 4 :: Corner Kicks: 6

Vilita Jungle Cats ::
[GK] Jaqe Planst, [D.] Kadi Molali, [D.] Arocki Tadalek, [D.] Tlikao Muratai, [ML] Jomur Hulyer, [MC] Steffyn Siazzu, [MC] Kiroki Mitaroka, [MR] Vliela Lianksa, [FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina, [FC] Lboaisa Akarelm
BENCH::
[FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [FC] Perran Adlani, [M] Lopaki Kilpter, [M] Purapal Eskiiy, [U] Kamarul Zaman, [D] Endur Rotropii, [GK] Zelkki Milake

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Nili Ylimaiina >>> Sirkii Moliaudo
(67) - Xcnaio Bansoa >>> Perran Adlani
(71) - Kadi Molali >>> Kamarul Zaman

by **Sangti** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:06 am

Estope 2-2 The Royal Barangay
EST: Barria (3'), Stark (77')
TRB: Linsangan (pen 34'), Magcaleng (53')

Lineup: C. Cablayan; Apuntar (Bautista 60'), Arceo, Ang, Pablo; E. Khan (Sanchez 67'), Mateo, Taguiam, Linsangan; Villejo (Corsiga 78'), Magcaleng.

Posters such as the one below were seen in the streets around the nation, allegedly coming from Ultras Sangti, the official supporters group of the National Team.

People were aware of this fact, as numerous people went to the live viewing screens, installed since the matches against Carialus, but the viewing places were far from jampacked, even with the matches against the Marauders. With the Agilang Dilaw only managing to draw against Estope 2-2 in the first leg, all the team needed is a win in front of their home crowd. This caused the Ultras Sangti to make these promotional posters to draw more crowds and show support to the national team.

Within days before the crucial clash, the TiketNet website announced that tickets allotted for the match are already sold out, prompting the Ultras Sangti to an alternative solution: mass viewing screens all throughout the nation - from Baoyam to Leonde; from Manoglu to Livao. In just one day, the collective efforts of the support group were able to provide viewing experience for almost everyone in the nation.

With the expected crowd for the game, the government announced an early advisory regarding road closures, and it was just the kind of support the government may give to the national team in order to receive the support from their fans and the people of The Royal Barangay. It is expected that crime rates would go down, except when hooliganism would be disrupting the viewing pleasure of the people. The banners are ready, the drumsets are ready, the ultras are ready. Now, it is the job of the Agilang Dilaw to earn themselves a World Cup finals berth.

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:21 am

Rowan Pendragon slid comfortably into his chair - once a manager, and a strong one at that, he got tired of the stress - after being sacked for the first time in his twenty-two-year career, he'd taken up a role as a pundit instead. And largely, he'd been successful - the 55-year old was an icon now.

He'd covered the first two Saintland vs. NSB matches during BoF51 - any footage of Lukas Strongnesse's horror challenge was considered incomplete without the accompanying commentary of "Christ! Lukas Strongnesse has decided he wants to turn the prince into a cripple!" He'd covered matches against Brenecia, too. Sabrefell derbies. Cup finals. But a match against Farfadillis... he feared his throat might grow hoarse from announcing the goals.

"Both sides announcing lineups as powerful as they can, though the absence of Karl Finnan will likely prove a painful one this match," said Pendragon, conveying the thoughts of the entire nation. "Still, the Sideburnese are looking to protect an unbeaten home record that has persisted for eight years - can they do that today?"
"Well, I think they will," said the colour commentator, the slightly eccentric choice of legendary hard man Rook Harm. He'd been a massive success for his unapologetically blunt style, exactly the same as his temperament as a player. "Farfadillis may be a better team on paper, but at least on home turf you'd back the Cormorants to get at least a draw against anyone."
"Aye... well, the stage is set and the teams are lining up for the national anthems - the Sideburnese are in dark green and black, while there's no clash of kits so the Farves line up in traditional red and chartreuse. This must be a tasty fixture for you, Rook, as a defender - I can imagine this is the sort of challenge you'd relish."
Harm shrugged. "Eh, truth be told they're the kind of team as draws a lot of fouls - they don't dive, but they're damn good on the ball. You can see a penalty being given away here."
"Anyone in particular you'd expect to see a lot of focus on?"
"Well, the choice of Shrike is an interesting one - Sleet is younger and more defensive-minded. Byron would also be the choice for simply parking the bus, but Crowe's been chosen instead. You want to focus on a player? Hell, focus on the goalkeepers."

The opening chords of the Sideburnese national anthem struck up. Like all good national anthems, it dealt with civil wars from over a century ago, and referred to shedding the blood of tyrant kings. And the Sideburnese sang it, and the Farves sang theirs, and with a coinflip from Yttribian referee Mathias Morrison (won by Mêndêlöíndçêl) the game was afoot.

It didn't take long for things to kick off.

Four minutes in and the stage had already been set. Two shots from Dandalleion had already demanded clever saves from Riordan, though they were at a comfortable height. The Cormorants had threatened, too - Lisdiren tipping a long Brightley shot over the bar. But it was ultimately Anna Shrike who scored the first - probably first of many.
She'd been with Mâ Âlâmëómë for a long time - she already had a reputation as the most attack-minded fullback in New Sideburn, a nation that loved attack-minded fullbacks. Ironically it had been her time in Farfadillis that had trained caution in her - forced her into some good habits to keep up on an athletic level, too. She'd been overweight by a footballer's standard and in general not playing intelligently enough to compensate for her lack of athleticism. She'd adapted with age, and was now if anything a better footballer than she'd been in her 'prime'.
The Farves had pressed up the pitch, but a killer ball from Tuzzio to Roga had been just a little overhit - Riordan managed to come out to belt it far up the pitch. Shrike knew he'd kind of scuffed it the moment he made contact - while seeming to head to Cath Harper, the ball bounced just to her side but then took an unexpected backspin. Shrike saw it coming, though - Harper was surprised, but the rightback behind her ran onto it and started to bomb up the pitch.
Fakkotti tried to get back in time, but a neat pass to Harper sent the Farfadillis leftback the wrong way, and Harper's return pass when Mêndêlöíndçêl came to challenge her sent Shrike through. Alaminos and Mata came forward to stop her from getting into the area unchallenged - she didn't need to be in the box to score, though. She just turned, put back her right boot... and fired.
The Sideburnese had the lead.

In theory, the Cormorants could have sat back and tried to contain the game. The issue with that is that handing over the initiative to an attack-minded, technically adept side has a term. 'Suicide'.
Still, it was clear the Sideburnese were more concerned with stemming the flow than making more openings - for the next twenty-five minutes, they were content to put their foot off the gas a little, pulling their midfield back a touch and hitting balls long to the wings, or to lone striker Cathar.
Tuzzio had other plans. After he was brought down by Andrea Crowe just outside the box, his free kick that hammered against the crossbar was the first sign of things to come. But it was his pass that set off the first goal - a masterful chip just over Marlowe that relied on Roga getting to the ball just before Yorke - which he did. Roga, faced with a rapidly closing Riordan, tried to hit it into the bottom corner - Riordan's hand clawed it away, but Dandalleion had a simple tap-in to level the scores.

The Cormorants would not be caught acting like prey again. Straight from the kickoff, they seemed to have resigned themselves to the open game, and they pressed forward with a high line and tight marking, unafraid to get stuck in if they were compromised. The physical element seemed to unsettle the Farves a little, disrupting their attacks and stopping them from free-flowing attacks. That said, Terán did give his marker the slip during one long indirect free kick, but under intense pressure from James Yorke he was unable to come up with a good shot, and Riordan caught it staying on his feet. And it wasn't long before the home side had regained the advantage. This time, it was Cathy Stokes on the wing - she'd slipped by Alaminos despite a minor foul - her ankle had been clipped, but she'd kept running. And seeing Cathar, Brightley and Harper lurking near the area, she tried her luck and floated a ball high to the far post, just over the goalkeeper's reach - and of course, it was Cathar who rose to meet it, heading low past Lisdiren to restore the lead in the 35th minute. And just four minutes later, he struck again - once again a cross (Crowley's this time), but drilled low to meet the centre-forward's outstretched foot.

The half petered out somewhat after that - it was clear the Cormorants had little energy left to give, and were mostly concerned about keeping the Farves out of the penalty area - a couple of shots outside it were tough but manageable for Riordan to get to, and the Farfish attack simply didn't seem to have it in them to pass by the stout defence. When the half-time whistle blew, Jess Mortlock smiled grimly at the camera before heading down the tunnel, almost as if to say; it isn't pretty, but it's certainly working.

The team talk was nothing out of the ordinary - the team seemed mostly surprised they were taking a lead into it. They were physically and mentally drained, but the very idea that they were 45 minutes of the same away from a colossal victory seemed to re-energise and inspire them. Still better was the somewhat surprising absence of yellow cards on her defence, only Crowe - nobody had to worry about standing off their mark to avoid an early shower.
They were forty-five minutes away from a victory that would live long in the memory. And each of them believed that they could - and would - pull it off.

La Vherderoja disagreed.

Straight from the kickoff, they showed what they were capable of. Wresting possession from their man, making the best of any mistake, the Farves simply passed the Cormorants out of the game - the first ten minutes of the second half saw possession at just 17% for the Sideburnese, though they nearly scored against the run of play - Cath Harper curled a shot high from a direct free kick that just clipped over the bar, Lisdiren would've been helpless to get to it in time. But the Farves did get the goal they needed, a fine set of passes leaving Yorke stumbling, Dandalleion cutting inside from the wing to take possession, drawing Marlowe away before flicking it across to Tuzzio - the Makosile man volleyed it goalwards with a masterful first touch, and Riordan only got fingers to it. They'd clawed their way back into the game, and won a corner soon afterwards - Riordan came out for the ball but couldn't come far enough, and Fakkotti found himself with the ball at his feet - the defender cannonned the ball at the net, but it hit Stokes, guarding the post, in the chest. Crowe cleared - the Cormorants had survived.

And the next attack from the Farves met a fierce resistance, resolve returned - Fôx came marauding down the right wing but an outstretched leg from Stokes blocked the cross. The captain drilled the ball forward to Crowley, who took possession and just kept on running, forcing Yurpá Mêndêlöíndçêl to chase. The two kept running, shoulders locked, until finally Crowley laid the ball across to Cathar, who drew Mata off before a low, strong pass to Brightley. Taking one touch to get the ball where he wanted it, a low, hammered shot from the Basin Plain midfielder left Lisdiren flailing. 4-2 after the 57th minute.

Once again, the extreme tempo of the game had left both sides thoroughly winded. Things slowed down until a characteristically flamboyant Farfish triple substitution five minutes after the goal - Bârr for Fakkotti, Delafuente for Tuzzio, and Dragãozý for Roga.

This immediately paid off.

Three pairs of fresh legs was precisely three more than the Sideburnese had, and for a few minutes the away side was all over their hosts. The passes came like a flash - Fôx to Delafuente. Throughball from Delafuente past Brandon to Dragãozý. Dragãozý to Dandelleion. Dandelleion into the bottom corner of the net.

The score was 4-3 - and with three away goals, that seemed the slimmest of leads for the Cormorants to take away from the match. Yorke, who'd picked up a caution in a late tackle on Terán (still walking a little gingerly, but he'd shake it off in time) and had been run ragged, was replaced by Gareth Pearce (wearing 25). Seven relatively quiet minutes later, and the exhausted Rook Cathar was pulled for Cheney Bittencourt.

Both teams had exhausted one another - theoretically, the match should have fizzled out into a close. But the last ten minutes were non-stop, end to end, and it all started when Bârr was dispossessed in his own half.

Cath Harper had run her heart out (Mortlock always kept a substitute spare in the event of injury or a red card - otherwise she'd have been pulled) and now found herself with the ball close to alone in the opposing half. She glanced over her shoulder and pelted forward, before turning to lay a cross around the stranded Mata - the last man. Bittencourt ran onto it just outside the box, feinted forward to draw Lisdiren forward then fired low into the far corner of the net. The Farves countered quickly - an Andrea Crowe pass was cut out by Fôx (Crowe clearly and audibly swore as the cameras focused on her face and she started to run back). No messing from the young Directus winger, who slashed a low, curled cross in front of the goalmouth - Dandellaion missed the ball and it passed ahead of Dragãozý, but Kâí, who'd had a relatively quiet game, managed to get on the end of it - a single touch controlled the ball, the second stroked it past the stretched Riordan. But Crowe was determined to atone for her error. The game was 5-4 in the 88th minute, and the Cormorants looked to be limping over the line. Dale Brightley had leapt forward on the ball with real menace before getting a rough challenge from Mêndêlöíndçêl - after all, Brightley was the sort of player who couldn't be allowed to feel comfortable just outside the penalty area with the ball at his feet. Harper stood over the ball, looked over the wall, took a run-up and slid the ball across to Crowe, who had a clear line on goal largely unobstructed on the edge of the box. Crowe measured the shot and fired - inches away from the diving Lisdiren's fingertips, and hitting the inside of the far post before rolling into the net.

A couple minutes passed. Then a couple more, after the fourth official signalled two minutes of extra time, but the game had largely reached the end by then. 6-4 was the highest scoreline the Sideburnese had played a part in - and it was certainly a unique match, against a fine opponent... and very possibly a critical result in historical terms. And even as the players swapped shirts and Rossizzo and Mortlock shook hands, already people were thinking ahead to the return fixture in La Fantás...

by **Ko-oren** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:15 am

Another bad day for Ko-orenite football

The last time the Greenblues lost two games in a row, we have to go back to the qualification for World Cup 67, when the team lost to Svengarda and to Jedi8246. The last time before that was during the 67th World Cup, not during qualification but during the first time the Dragonflies qualified for the World Cup: a 5-0 to the Holy Empire and a 0-1 loss to the Sylvanaes Queendom. And now again, after an almost flawless run in the group. A few things have changed over the past years, a few things haven't. After the first leg against the German American States, the team has lost two immensely important games in a row: winning the first would have meant direct qualification for the World Cup, winning the second would have put us in a good position for the second leg of the second round of playoffs. But two losses... are going to be a big handicap for the return.

So what has happened since World Cup 64?

Three qualifications. Ko-oren has played in World Cup 64 and the two World Cups that followed that, culminating in a second round appearance in World Cup 66.

One Cup of Harmony appearance. We should have made this green, but after three qualifications, it hurts not qualifying. It would hurt more to not qualify twice, especially with the rank we have built up.

Two Champions' Cup spots for the KNL. To have a good NT is one thing, to maintain it is another. Having a good national league is a massive step, and the KNL did well in the coefficient department.

The roster of the NT didn't change. A huge number of four players were on the World Cup 64 roster that are not on the World Cup 67 roster. The team is aging, and new talents are not getting their break.

A second place at the DBC. That they're not on the NT, does not mean we have no new talents. They made it to the Di Bradini Cup final of a few cycles ago!

The coach is not innovative. The same strategy every day, for years on end. The same players, for years on end.

After yesterday's game, the fans that made it to Esportiva, demanded an explanation. The players were left out of the discussion, but the fans vocalized a popular opinion for the first time. Rilasthaunden's position has been dangerous before, especially after World Cup 63, but three consecutive qualifications changed peoples' opinions about him. Could this finally be the end of his career at the National Team?

by **Felix** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 7:29 am

World Cup 68 Qualifiers: How Far We Have Come.
By: Steven Smith

"Felix is down ten men it is 4-2 a minute left in stoppage time Blouman Empire sets up another attack. There is passing there is pace there is a shot! No! Blocked by the goalkeeper! And the referee ends the match! Felix has won! Felix won! We won! We are in the World Cup finals! We have made it to the biggest stage in sports! We have done it! Oh my god I thought I would never see this happen in my lifetime! We did it! Wow! World Cup 68 here we come!

Those words were said by Mr. Herb Watson, legendary commentator for Channel 7 Sports. He basically summed up what Felixians all over the multiverse felt, ecstasy, happiness, joy, jubilation and other feelings that would reflect overwhelming cheerfulness for qualifying for the World Cup for the first time ever. You should've seen the people in Altomare. All over the city of 12 million the horns were blaring loud and proud and Felixian flags were waving all over the place.

In other cities the fans of The Phoenix marched towards the city squares or plazas and gathered around to sing the national song and localized folk songs regarding the beautiful game and Felixian football itself. The days that would come after the historic win against the Blouman Empire would be continued celebration. School was cancelled for a week due to the win, the local Felixian school boards agreed that this week should be a week of rest and celebration. Not study.

As I look outside my Bridgeport office I noticed the fans and I remember something. How far have we come. I remember when the FFA and the concept of a national team side was new and radical. Since 1890s football has been played in Felix, the idea of a national side was usually rejected by both fans and players for the next 100+ years. You see, we Felixians were fiercely independent and isolationist. Especially how what happened in Taijan. We still watched what happened outside Felix as some broadcasts of World Cups were aired. But, we still remained stubborn in our beliefs that Felixian football is best played inside the country.

But that changed in 2009 when a Ministry of Sport led referendum that included fans, players, managers and reporters, resulted in a narrow victory for the pro-NT side (I vote yay for formation of a national side) as 52% went yay and 48% went nay. The new Felixian Football Association submitted their letter of intent to join the World Cup and the EWCC and WCC accepted it. Before the World Cup and the BoF, we played in the CE. We only got three points. Not so well. Not so well at all, but we had a taste of multiversal football and it tasted wonderful.

But then we were placed in a rookie tournament called the Baptism of Fire. We started off well with a 4-0 win over Penileanium and in the Casaran styled tournament. With that momentum we continued on, with victories against Mr. Creeper, a draw with Nandezia a win against Metropolis Mania and a unfortunate loss against The Greater Archipelago. But we made it to the final 16. In our first match in the playoffs we were in danger of losing out with a battle to death with Luzvimindia. We eventually won, 9-8 on penalties.

It seemed like that huge win gave momentum to the Felixian side as they rolled through Kalusia 3-0 and beat a promising Sondstead 1-0. We were now in the final of the 52nd Baptism of Fire. This was a historic event for Felix and it seemed like the tide was turning against the nay voters. It was huge. We traveled to Legalese, Tiberia to be exact and we were ready for the final. It started off with a 2-2 draw at regular time and extra time. It looked tense, but Felix was here before. Felix had experience in penalties, after all we won 9-8 in the shootout before. But it wasn't meant to be, we lost 2-1. And as the Aelish players celebrated we cried, we were down. But certainly not out.

And we continued from there. We did well in our first bout with the World Cup and we continued to shine. We are now in the World Cup after 4 World Cups, after experiencing the heartbreak after heartbreak being oh so close to the biggest stage. Now we are here and funnily enough we are headed to Legalese, a nation that was a co-host to the Casaran BoF. Could we possibly be back in the final stage in Tiberia? Or Francopolis (Francopolis anyone)? I don't know, but I do know this. We have come a long way from being the small team in a big pitch to being a rising power. Good luck Felix, we re going to need it as we head to either the nation of Legalese or god forbid, the Free Republics. Until next time folks.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:14 am

Where are they now? Group One in WC 65

So, the Tigers were drawn up against Taeshan. Our first reaction was oh no, our second was I wonder how many ranking spots they are above us, and the third was four? wow. we might win this.

We also realized that the two were in the same group at the WC 65 qualifiers. Taeshan, of course, eliminated Super-Llamaland before the final matchday and then Friday Freshman added insult to injury by beating the Tigers one-zip. Ugh. Taeshan then went on to lose to the Archregimacy in the playoffs, thus giving neither of us anything.

Sargossa
WC65 Placement: First
Current Rank: 44
# of Quals since WC65 Quals: Two

The Sargossans topped the group with a nice forty-four points and marched onward to the finals, where they drew Mangolana and lost to Vilita and hosts Pasarga in Group A. Thus the dream ended. Luckily, they topped their group by a point in World Cup 66, sealing their spot with a 2-1 victory over Amarios and making some New Sideburn fans very unhappy indeed. This time, they scored two points instead of one but still couldn't seal their position. And on the last day, Ossadaiqua edged out Hutt River to keep the Sargossans in third by two points. A slightly resurgent squad is in the playoffs, but will they get any farther than two points?

Taeshan
WC 65 Placement: Second
Current Rank: 47
# of Quals since WC 65 Quals: None

Ever since losing out in the playoffs, Taeshan has embarked on a steep descent. They lost on tiebreakers to Legalese at WC66, doomed by a slightly worse goal differential. At WC67, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec beat them out by a point to advance ahead of them. And at WC68, they need to win on the road to advance. Will a recovery happen? Probably not this cycle.

Super-Llamaland
WC 65 Placement: Third
Current Rank: 51
# of Quals since WC 65 Quals: None

After a first bittersweet taste of just-out, the Tigers then lost by four points at WC 66 to Gyatso-Kai and on away goals at WC 67 to Kandorith. At WC 68, some luck gave them the group title, but they'll need to stave off the Taeshanis to advance to their first-ever World Cup final.

Armed Bears
WC 65 Placement: Fourth
Current Rank: 213
# of Quals since WC 65 Qual: None

A meh WC 65 doomed them. They disappeared from the World Cup completely soon after. In a few weeks, they won't even be ranked!

HorusLand

WC 65 Placement: Fifth
Current Rank: 71
# of Quals...: 0

The HorusLand squad placed a distant second at WC 66, fourth (in the Tigers' group, no less) at WC 67, and fourth again at WC 68. With their new history of moderate success, HorusLand needs to take another step up to keep the NS Sports community reminded that they aren't to be trifled with.
Kalusia
WC 65 Placement: Sixth
Current Rank: 135
# of Quals...:0

Drawn again in our group at WC 66, Kalusia placed fourth. We haven't heard from them since.

Leorudo

The Fief of Sir Kunne

Oralana

Friday Freshman

Nothing else here besides WC 65 for these one-hit non-wonders, except for Friday Freshman, who got six points in ten matches at WC 66.

by **Barunia** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:16 am

Kitty was thinking about football, which was mad. Here she was, held captive in the middle of the jungle in a foreign country, and all she could think about was the Suns qualifying. Her chief captor had given her the latest scores. She wasn't really surprised that the team had lost to Polar Islandstates, but it was really annoying that they had to go through this whole rigmarole in the first place. It was even worse than 65, where they'd come second and been denied the chance of a play-off. For the first time, the Suns were good enough and strong enough to qualify, they'd succeeded in topping the group for once, and now they were facing the very real chance of not qualifying. A one-all draw against Kazamatsuri had seen to that. Only one more game would decide it, and Barunia would need either a win or a 0-0 draw to seal the win and book their ticket to the world cup.

Kitty couldn't work out the reasoning behind the draw. It seemed random, but why then create a seeding committee? Kitty wondered what had happened to her application? Had she been successful? Either way, it was all academic now. They'd have done their job by now without her, even if she had been selected. But it would have been great, Kitty reflected, to have had the opportunity to see the process behind the scenes. Oh well. Right now, she had bigger problems to think about then the seeding of a world cup. Like how to get out of here.

Escape was certainly something she'd thought about, but she had found it impossible. Her bonds were secure, and she hadn't been able to free her legs from their shackles. Even if she had, she knew the tent was surrounded by guards, and then their was the jungle itself. Kitty had no idea where she was, or in what direction civilisation and help might lie. Even of she could escape into the trees, she might easily get lost and die from hunger or thirst. Yesterday she'd heard a helicopter, and had hoped they might have been looking for her. But from what she'd seen of the camp, she knew they would not be able to see the tents underneath the tree canopy. It seemed escape was hopeless. So she was forced to wait, and hope for an opportunity to present itself.

------

It was later that night when Kitty was woken by the sounds of screaming. She was confused at first, then the terrifying sound of gunfire came from nearby. Now she was scared, as she tried to think about what could be going on outside the tent. Was some dangerous animal loose in camp? Was there a battle going on between rival criminal gangs? All she could tell from the inside of her tent was that there was a lot of chaos going on. The sounds of gunfire and shouting filled the air, and flashes of light cast hideous shadows on the side of her tent. Kitty crouched low, hoping an errant bullet wouldn't rip through the tent and hit her.

After what seemed an eternity, the chaos began to die down. It was marked by the absence of gunfire, although the shouting continued. But now it sounded more like instructions, and Kitty could even make out some of the words. "Tents...find...around." They were good english words, not the local language she'd heard her captors conversing in. What was going on? Just as the question entered her head, she heard the sound of the zip on the tent door being opened...

by **Zwangzug** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:48 am

The Bassabook Baritone

F this s?

Keane-Liuprand 2, Salapu 2
An oversimplification? Absolutely. The narrative of the first leg? It's hard to say otherwise.

The first quarter-hour at least suggested that the forwards might live up to their expected roles, with Roberto Gregio and Khamisi McCluey scoring within minutes of each other. McCluey's quick equalizer seemed to lift Zwangzug's spirits, or at least prevent the sort of demoralization that might have sunk in against Valladares, and they gradually grew more confident in possession after that. Indeed, for a while it looked like Keane-Liuprand wouldn't need to come through at all--there were lots of chances, and it seemed more coincidence than anything else that he would be the one to create the halftime lead.

For a while, it might have been the backups rather than the starters that set the tone of the day, with Trevor Goodwin and Josimar Son working well together. "I guess the turning point," McCluey would ruefully say afterwards, "was when I lost my shoe," which is a sentence that has never boded well for anyone. Sure enough, after an unusually stirring tackle, the substitutes set up a chain of passes--only for the recently-maligned Salapu to record the goal.

At the risk of false modesty, Zwangzug's athletes are usually not the ones making "bulletin board" claims to provoke the opposition. Sitting back and getting inspired by other baseball teams, maybe every so often, but we're usually the quieter ones. What went wrong? "I meant what I said," said Keane-Liuprand, "the All Greens had a good day, they had the fans on their side, it took a lot to win--Gregio was in the right place at the right time, Son played very well. We'll see who the better team is, in the return leg. And you know what, it might well be Darmen, in which case, it'll have been a team effort on their part. They're certainly capable of it."

It's the Keane-Liuprand that league fans know all too well. No one doubts he's tremendously sporting, win or lose, and as committed as anyone to fair play. And of course, he's plenty gifted in central midfield, outplaying even Goodwin to break through and secure what appeared to be the winning goal.

But, as we also know all too well, he will accept no disagreement when tactics are on the line. "I really thought we had them at the end. Oh, not my goal, that was mostly luck--" and here's where the humility gives way to talking-your-ear-off "--but when they subbed off Siesman! I was thinking, good, you've got it, you don't want one guy to be on the hook for three goals, that's not good for his morale or anyone's, really, that pressure, so they're spreading it around a little more, but at the same time, you've got another leg to prepare for! And you don't want to just give up on anyone too quickly, I don't know, I was more worried about them at that point than what we were going to do. We were under control."

Until the next great tactical innovation. Just as Darmen had been changing goalkeepers and introducing Goodwin and Son, Zwangzug had made substitutions of their own. "Yes, of course, it's the 5-f-3-s-%," Keane-Liuprand expounded, with an implicit you probably haven't heard of it. "Jocelyn [Chara-Fekapeu] was on for Patricia [Eliot], she'd been having a great season for Sporting Esper, we wanted her to shore up the defense. That left Shula [Bachchan-Laum] running around by herself in defensive midfield, and she had no idea what the f was going on at that point...kind of like a fool, but I mean, Darmen were playing well. By that point I'd pushed forward, obviously I needed to be responsible for most of the attack at that point, so I was up there with Martina [Ruan] and Tullio [Schi]. We'd substituted out [recalced, and applauded] Khamisi by then, so it was Dennis [Horkawer-Rippel] on instead, but he's really a midfielder at heart, you know, and he really had a :s expression the whole time, the playoffs are stressful and he'd rather have an attacker of some sort to assist. Nobody up in Khamisi or Arlo's spot. We were playing the percentages there. It made sense, more often that not, I think it would have worked. We just weren't used to it and that came back to bite us."

When asked why Bruce Millar, still playing in the game for Zwangzug at that time, was not mentioned in the formation, a fuming Keane-Liuprand explained it was Matilda Kratochvil's fault. "Trust me, if I ever get final responsibility for drawing up the playbook, you'll know."

But on the day, it was the All Greens who came up with the dramatic equalizer. As they continued to attack, Zwangzug weren't adapting to the tactical pressures quickly enough. After winning the ball from his opposite number, Darmen's captain Tor Tong Lee almost equalized. The ball bounced back, and was retrieved by none other than Salapu himself, who scored his second of the day with only minutes remaining.

Reluctantly, Chara-Fekapeu and Horkawer-Rippel edged forward as if to replace Eliot and McCluey for the remaining minutes. It was clear that they could not, and the match was quickly over. But what a match! It's too soon to say what it will mean for either side's qualification chances. But at least for the current version of the national team, the combination of late drama, misplaced footwear, and unexpected midfield rivalry mean that this will likely occupy a unique place in fans' memories.

While Darmen manager William von Kriesler has hinted that Darmen's defense could be their undoing, Kratochvil has refused to mention whether she'll make any formational changes for the home leg. Then again, if Keane-Liuprand does all the talking for her, she might not need to.

by **Sicoutimont** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:22 am

The Lac-Drouin Times

Sports: Sicoutimont Take Play-Off Lead Over Blouman Empire With 3-1 Leg 1 Victory

LAC-DROUIN -- A warm September afternoon at Stade St-Pierre in downtown Lac-Drouin featured a hugely important match for two teams clashing head-to-head for a spot in the World Cup Final. Sicoutimont, looking for their second World Cup Final qualification, played against the Blouman Empire, a top-15 ranked nation looking to reach the show once again.

Sicoutimont reached this important second leg of the play-offs by finishing second place in Group 10. With a 7-4-3 record and 28 goals for, or 2 goals per game the team reached the first leg of the play-offs. The second-place finish was secured with a 3-1 victory over Mytannion, the eventual group winner, and a 1-0 win over Darvale on the final matchday to ensure the second-place finish. That drew Sicoutimont against rival Boring Paradise. The first game was played to a 1-1 draw in that nation, with an Alex Gannot 56' strike ensuring the draw. The second leg, on the other hand, was played at Stade Pierre-Beach, and after goals from Gannot, Girard Giroux and the winner from Gaspard Demaru in the 81st minute, Sicoutimont had won the play-off and moved on to the second round of the play-offs.

On the other hand, the Blouman Empire finished atop Group 24, with an 11-2-1 record, scoring a strong 43 goals in their 14 games, or about 3.07 goals per game. This brought them to the Group Winner's Play-Off, where they clashed with the team from Felix. In game 1 at home they fell 4-3 to the strong Felix side, and fell 4-2 in leg 2 to lose the tie on aggregate 8-5. Even though they lost, though, they receive another chance in the Second Round of the play-offs, where they meet with the Sicoutian side.

After these journeys, both teams met for the first leg in their tie, hosted in Sicoutimont. The game was played at Stade St-Pierre, and although it wasn't warm like some of the summer games of mid-qualifying played their, it certainly was not cold either. With the fall sun shining over the sprawling capital and glowing down onto the pitch, the national anthems were played, the whistle blew, and the match began. Both teams were comfortable early on with the ball, pressing and attacking when they got possession. Great chances for both teams were abound in the first 15 minutes. First, in the 7th minute, a strong cross played in by Kane Harrison for Blouman's side seemed to be destined to go off Blaine Cooperson's head and into the goal. But, instead it was punched away by keeper Alain Rivcoucher, who showed why he was the choice to start in each of the play-off matches before hand. Many times, one great chance at one end leads to a chance at the other, and this was certainly the case here, as Girard Giroux and Alex Gannot broke away on a dangerous rush. The eventual shot, however, taken by Giroux, was just wide of the net.

Still, Sicoutimont pressed hard, and came away with the first blood in this match. In the 26th minute, it was Gaspard Demaru receiving a cross from veteran Yves Savard. The captain, playing likely his last home game for the national team, put the beautiful cross in, and Demaru would finish with a great shot placed into the right corner, giving his squad the lead. When the assist for Savard was announced, the crowd cheered loudly, as the fan-favourite has announced his intention to retire at the end of this campaign. Although both teams gave their best efforts, the score remained 1-0 in favour of the home side at the end of the first half.

The Blouman Empire would not stay quiet in the early minutes of the second half. Alain Rivcoucher had to be stellar early in the half to keep the advantage, but even stellar couldn't hold on forever. In the 57th minute, it was once again Kane Harrison with the ball and his well-placed strike just beat the diving Rivcoucher to knot the score at 1-1. At this point, it appeared that the strong Blouman side was beginning to overpower the Sicoutians, and it seemed only a matter of time before they were ahead again. But Rivcoucher continued to show why the Polarian squad East Franz Athletic courted him at the transfer window, and gave them a taste of what they could expect in the upcoming season, with the strong effort. Finally, the Sicoutians regrouped, and in the 71st minute began to put away the match in their favour.

After 26 minutes of dominance by the visitors to begin the second half, Sicoutimont finally pushed back. To take the lead, Marc Denis switched in George Allonts for Alex Gannot, and the star for the Astograth side Gesterlake FC got to work immediately. In the 73rd minute, only 3 minutes after his sub-in, he got the ball rolling for the second goal of the game for Sicoutimont. Receiving the ball in midfield, he brought the ball into the attacking zone, and a pass to Gaspard Demaru led to the latter's goal, only a few seconds after having received the pass. Now, with only 17 minutes to play plus injury time, the Sicoutians held the 2-1 lead.

The push-back by the Blouman Empire was strong, and once again the team called on Alain Rivcoucher to hold the advantage for them. A shot just tipped off his glove and went out of play, and the ensuing corner was also just barely stopped by the keeper. As we said earlier, a great chance at one end can lead to another great chance at the other hand. This was once again the case, as in the 83rd minute, on the same play after the corner, it was Girard Giroux with the ball, and Georges Allonts just ahead of him. The chip past the sprinting defender went straight to Allonts, and all alone with the keeper he would not be stopped. Now, with only 7 minutes left, Sicoutimont had a 2 goal advantage.

Both teams fought hard in the final minutes, until finally the 3 minutes of injury time were over and the match finished with the 3-1 victory for Sicoutimont. It was a bittersweet finale, however, for Yves Savard. The star defender for the national team, who had an assist on the first goal of the game, heard the whistle for the last time in a home World Cup Qualifying match. He was clearly emotional during the salute given to him by the crowd. When asked after the game what he felt when he left the pitch, Savard said ''I was quite emotional, as you saw. I owe so much to those fans back there, and I hope that we can give them another Finals appearance. Still, we've got a hard road ahead, playing against a very tough side.'' Savard could possibly be back with the team after his playing days are over, as he's expressed his desire to be a manager in the future.

Sicoutimont head into Leg 2 of their play-off series with the Blouman Empire with a 3-1 aggregate lead. As Savard said, they have a very tough game ahead of them, especially since they will be playing in the Blouman Empire, who will probably provide the hardest challenge of this World Cup so far. As manager Marc Denis said, ''We beat them here, yes, but it was very close, could have gone either way. We've gone into lots of other team's stadiums, and won. With both teams fighting for their lives, we know this is going to be the hardest match of the Qualifiers. We just have to stick to our gameplan, and improve our overall defence. We can't let Alain (Rivcoucher) handle everything, because he can't stop everything. We can't let the pressure of the taking the lead to an away match get in our heads, and show why we've made it this far.

It certainly will be a tough fight, as only one of these two teams will reach World Cup 68 in Legalese or the Free Republics. It all comes down to one game, between Sicoutimont and the Blouman Empire, for one spot in the final 32 nations. Who will reach the final? Find out with us, as Leg 2 of this exciting play-off takes place live! As always, we'll have live updates on our website, and full reporting in the Sports section after the final whistle.

by **Paradystopia** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:27 am

All kitted out in their slightly out-of-date Lymantatian football kits, the group squeezed into Filip Whoopsy's office and huddled around his office computer.

"This calls for a strongly worded letter. We'll show Tropicorp we mean business! By pretending to be the Lymantatian FA, we'll demand a shipment of these TCp-X1 balls and discover the best possible method to defeat them!"

Dennis was a little unsure as to why the football kits were necessary to send a covert e-mail but he'd given up trying to perceive logic in any of Filip Whoopsy's executive decisions. Filip began frantically typing.

From: Lymatatian Football Association <Meikuukuyoulongtime@apoxonline.apx>
To: Tropicorp Complaints Dep. <Complaints.tropicorp@tcp.vil>

To whom it may concern,

We would like to make a complaint regarding the fact that we haven't received any of the TCp-X1 footballs yet. As you may know, we are one of the top footballing nations in the multiverse and find it particularly insulting that you haven't provided us with any yet. We are quite upset. Nearly as upset as when we discovered that the World Cup seeding committee didn't allow us a free berth into the cup finals, nay, didn't just present us with the trophy to keep for ever and ever without the need for a tournament but I digress.

We would like some TCp-X1 balls.

On a related matter, it has come to our attention that your company is hellbent on exterminating horseradish plants. This upsets us greatly. As you may know, our greatest striker, possibly even the greatest striker ever to have lived; Jacques Bressler maintains his constant high standard through a diet of horseradish-enhanced energy drinks.

Yours in Horseradish

Filip Whoopsy-Lymantatia
President of the Lymantatia FA

"Quack!"
"Jay raises a good point Filip, it's not exactly 'in character' so to speak. Also, you misspelled 'Lymantatia in the sender information."
"Quack!"
"Oh yes Jay. I doubt Filip Whoopsy-Lymantatia is a plausible enough sounding name too."

Filip looked over the e-mail again, frowned and turned back to Dyuliett. He spoke in a grouchy tone implying he couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

"Well, what would you write?"

Dyuliett smiled.

"Budge over then."

From: Lymantatian Football Association <Meikuukuyoulongtime@apoxonline.apx>
To: Tropicorp Complaints Dep. <Complaints.tropicorp@tcp.vil>

To whom it may concern,

We would like some TCp-X1 balls.

Yours

Jacques Bressler
On behalf of the Lymantatia FA

"Quack!"
"Exactly Jay. Perfect. I'll just attach a delivery address and ... send ..."

by **The Archregimancy** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:40 am

OOC: A couple of small sections of this RP were adapted from Orthodox websites (notably http://orthodoxinfo.com/; http://oca.org/); Biblical quotations are appropriately cited.

"So.... Fr. Alexander James... have you seen the letters page of the Monastic Times today?"

"Can't say I have, Fr. Joseph the Bringer of Bad News; too busy praying on the last Sunday before Pascha. A monk's gotta do what a monk's gotta do."

"Well, it's about the last couple of halftime shows you've done in Archregimancy playoff matches."

"They loved us, eh? We were killing them, eh?"

"'Killing' is an interesting choice of words there; certainly the reaction in the letters page suggests someone's grave was being excavated. But why don't I let you read for yourself?"

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my disgust at the Monastic Football Association's and Holy Synod's ongoing decision to condone the antics of the so-called 'Backstreet Monks'. Never have I seen such a disgusting parody of Orthodox liturgical chant - and this travesty is produced in the name of appealing to the youth of heretic nations who probably don't care anyway. And as for the so-called 'synchronised prostrations'... As I need hardly tell you, we Orthodox Christians make prostrations during their worship in church and during their prayers at home as an integral part of our prayer rule. Very often, under the guidance of our spiritual fathers, we attempt to keep a rule of making an allotted number of prostrations every day. In the weekday services in Lent, the number of prostrations is greatly increased and at various points the whole congregation make prostrations together: during the Prayer of St Ephraim, the lenten verses on the Hours, at the end of Vespers and during Great Compline - not, dare I say, at the 'halftime show' of a football match.

I'm sure you'll join me in petitioning the bodies responsible to order these 'performers' back to their home monasteries for a period of prayer and penance.

Yours,

Fr. Demetrius the Disgusted

Dear Sir,

Is outrage!

In all my years of doing the involvement with monastic sport, I have never been seeing such outrageous display of distracting monastic athletes as I have been seeing in halftime show of Archregimancy and nation with name suggesting affinity with holy and righteous Joseph the Betrothed but who are in fact nation of heretics (this is being long sentence, I am knowing, but I am being fired with the righteous outrage), when brave footballing lads went from leading 2-0 in first half to only drawing 2-2 due to terrible distractions of outrageous halftime show, and...

I am pausing for drawing breath now.

Yes, I know I am writing, but when I am writing, I am also doing the speaking of the words out loud.

Well, it is doing the working for me.

Anyway, as I was doing the saying, performance of Backstreet Monks is outrage, and no wonder team is finishing second in group and then doing the struggling in second round of playoffs if this is what team is doing the putting up with these qualifiers.

Yours,

Fr. Vasily the Heavily Accented
Media Spokesman, Monastic Olympic Committee.

Dear Sir,

There are many things that an Orthodox monk must watch out for. Foremost amongst these is surely pride, which is antithetical to the monastic way of life. Does not Holy Scripture say "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall" [Proverbs 16:18]. Furthmore more, is it not written in the First Epistle of Saint John the Evangelist that "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever" [1 John 2:15-17].

So then why are the Monastic Football Association and the Holy Synod giving time and space to these 'Backstreet Monks' when their leader Fr. Alexander James practically reeks of pride, and seems in serious danger of placing success in this earthly life above the future of his eternal soul. We have come to a pretty pass when this sort of activity can be condoned by our major sporting bodies and governmental institutions.

And let's not forget that I'm supposed to be one of the liberal monks.

Yours,
Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian

Dear Sir,

These 'Backstreet Monks'...

I do not much like them.

Yours,

Fr. Luke the Laconic

"Ah."

"You see the problem, Fr. Alexander James."

"Perhaps a period of reflection is in order."

"Perhaps."

"And I can certainly see how you earned your nickname, Fr. Joseph."

by **German American States** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:41 am

German America Wins At the Colosseum

Die Adlerschaft on the Brink of First Ever World Cup Qualification

MILWAUKEESBURG- The German American national team is on the cusp of their first ever World Cup qualification, as they beat the Dragonflies of Ko-oren at a sold-out National Colosseum.

Milwaukeesburg had an electric vibe as the sun came out over the sea yesterday, and the fog cleared. Die Adlerschaft would play their last game of the World Cup Qualifiers at the National Colosseum, and as the match kicked off, the squad had never been closer to qualifying. All 120,000 seats in the ground were filled, and Die Schwarzarmee prepared a fantastic tifo for the match. The crowd, not a famous singer, sang the national anthem before the match. Several players on the squad were seen crying as the anthem played, obviously overcome with emotion. It would take all of their heart and soul to come out on top.

Die Maschine seemed comfortable as the match began. They seemed to be playing some throwback Eagles football, passing around the back and biding their time. The Ko-orenites seemed to not be putting much pressure on as the two teams seemed to be evaluating each other's skills. About 20 minutes into a match that seemed the ball did not pass out of the middle third, the Eagles made a tactical change, going very offensive. The center midfield and wingers made precision passes around the top of the Ko-orenite box, trying to find a space to pass the ball. They made several through ball attempts, but those were intercepted and cleared out. The Dragonflies seemed content with having the ball in the middle third, as they weren't going to let any balls in.

All the Eagles needed was one miscommunication or mistake from the Dragonflies to score the opening goal. That mistake came after the half in the 54th, as the ball was passed around as usual. The ball was sliced through several defenders and onto the foot of Hans Wippenbeck. The angle was tough, and Wippenbeck's shot was deflected by Storm Enshadilsa of the Dragonflies. The ball went out for a corner and set piece. The entire stadium knew it would likely be the best chance for Die Maschine to score. Lukas Krohn lined up the ball, and sent in the cross. The set piece worked, as Karl Strauber headed in the ball from the six yard box. The stadium erupted as the Eagles scored the decisive goal.

The rest of the match went on uneventfully. The score stands 1-0 to the Eagles on aggregate. They will finish their campaign at the National Stadium in Ko-oren tomorrow.

by **Farfadillis** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 1:59 pm

"So... uhmm... tell me again, what was the plan? I think I heard the wrong thing." Asked Risko.

"Ugh, I thought I'd been clear." Rossizzo paused and looked at Risko, slightly annoyed. "Still, I'll explain it again."

Rossizzo paused to think for a moment. "Well, it's pretty simple if you ask me. I just want you to play more defensively. We can't afford to let the Sideburnese attack get the best of us again. Look, I'm not usually annoyed by conceding two, three or even four goals. But six? That's hardly counterable, even with a fantastic attack. And indeed, we scored four. We lost by two goals. We're on the brink of elimination, and we've got to leave our philosophy behind if we want to achieve something."

Risko sighed. "So, as we need to win by two goals - and we're almost certain to have got the away goals advantage - then we've got to... play defensively? That makes no sense."

"It does if you give it a bit more thought. New Sideburn will be going for swift counterattacks to tear us apart while we try to get back on track. If we are patient enough, they'll run out of ideas. If we focus more on the defense, I'm sure they won't be able to score. We've got players like you in our squad. Even if it makes things harder for them, they're most likely getting to score a goal or two regardless. The way I see it, it will give us a psychological advantage over the opponent, and that's exactly what we need. You may feel like I'm wasting your talent and whatnot, but trust me,
I know your skills better than you do. You can defend well, even if you don't like it. Just remember, the shirt comes before the skin."

"... I get it. I just don't agree. I mean, it sounds good and all, but do you seriously believe they won't have a back-up plan? Plus you're basically relying on Dandalleion once again, if you ask me. Do you seriously believe that Dandalleion can carry the burden of the team at all times? Don't you think it's a bit irresponsible to just have him do all the hard work?"

"That's not how I see it. It's true that in the past he has had to deal with a lot more than most other players, but time has allowed for Terán's skills to mellow. Time has also given us Fôx, and you too. Roga's a fine partner as well. We've even got Delafuente as a back-up in case we really need to help Dandalleion."

"Hmph... but that would imply you're not going to make Terán defensive, which would go against what you previously said. As for Fôx, he plays on the other side, assisting Dandalleion won't be easy for him, as talented as he may be. And me? You just told me I'll play defensively!"

"Terán will play defensively, but you hardly know about him. I think that as his teammate, you would've learned by now how he can split defenses in an instant if given the chance. I'm sure the Sideburnese won't be focused on him, and I'm planning to make him the heart of the team. The whole thing is simple. We play more defensively, Mêndêlöíndçêl leads the defense, Terán becomes the heart of every attack, and Dandalleion with help from Roga carries the burden of scoring the goals - which happens to be commonplace for strikers. We've got the same objective. I'm the on in charge, don't question me, please."

"Ugh, please don't pull off the 'I'm your manager' card again. I get what you're saying, but it's really not right. That's a valid tactic if you want to win. However, it's not a good tactic if you want to win by two goals. It might work, but it's not all that likely. Are you sure you want to employ me defensively? Even considering how almost all my skills focus on breaking the opposing defense?"

"Look, please understand. I know the whole 'future Dandalleion' label has gotten to your head, and you're getting slightly overconfident. Please try to avoid that. It's true, you're the closest thing Farfadillis has got to a replacement for Dandalleion in terms of quality, but Dandalleion never complained when I employed him defensively in his times as left midfielder, you know? Like that time against the Equestrian States, when we kept a clean sheet in both matches of the play-off leg to qualify for World Cup 63. See, as much as inside the pitch you may be similar, Dandalleion never caused problems. He just took my word as truth, and it rarely ever went wrongly. He knew I was the one with the certificate, not him. He'd just get things done, and cover me if I screwed up. You just complain as if you were even remotely as experienced. I'm sick of that, ok? Your experience is vast for someone who is twenty-three, but you're still a beginner."

Well, that cut deep. Had the label actually made him that cocky? Had he for the first time heard that Dandalleion was better than he could be, or had his ability to read between the lines failed miserably? He looked down.

"Alright, I'll do my job. But mark my words. As soon as something goes wrong, you'll see me attacking fiercely. I don't care about how Dandalleion always obeyed you. I'm not him. If I truly think you fucked up, I'll disregard your orders unless they're vital to winning the match and I wholeheartedly agree with them, ok?"

"Sound good. You can go now." Said Rossizzo smiling. Risko promptly responded by walking to the door and leaving without saying a word.

"Ugh... I really hope I didn't put him against me..." Rossizzo thought to himself.

by **Equestrian States** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:18 pm

On The Brink Again: Ponies Face Must-Win at Buyan
by Steve McNotapony

DYATINSK, Buyan - Here we are once more folks, facing elimination at the hands of a team far below us in the rankings. The Equestrian States started their campaign with aspirations of reaching the quarterfinals or even beyond, but now are on the verge missing their first World Cup since the injury-plagued Ponies were narrowly denied in the World Cup 63 playoffs by Farfadillis.

To say that nobody saw this coming would be an understatement. It seemed everything was in place for a history-making campaign by the Equestrian States. Two talented and experienced strikers leading the attack, with several others capable of coming off the bench with just as much talent. An exceptional midfield with as much depth as strength, renowned throughout the multiverse for its ability to command matches without even trying. In the rear, two of the best Equestrian defenders ever to play the game, backed off the bench by a pair of prospects who could very well claim that title for their own in a few years. And the final line of defense: a world class goalkeeper barely over 24 years old with her eyes firmly set on becoming the best keeper in the multiverse, considered by some to already be a legitimate claim. However, it has not been the elite and much-feared Ponies that have taken the field over the last year, rather one certainly more than capable of brilliance, but also one more vulnerable than any in recent memory.

We have seen the Equestrian States demolish Levivania, McKleigh, and Patistan by lopsided margins expected by a team of their quality, stage heroic second half comebacks against Iturributa and Armakistan, and earn the expected points in all but a couple of matches. But it has been those results that have forced the Equestrian States to where they are now. The pair of 3-0 defeats at the hands of eventual group winners Zwangzug, the loss in the first match Armakistan and early game struggles in the second leg that necessitated the epic comeback, and most recently the 1-0 defeat to Buyan in front of well over 100,000 tortured Equestrian supporters.

And so we reach today. In just a few hours, the Ponies will take the field against a Buyan side full of confidence and only needing to keep the Ponies from winning to earn a seemingly-impossible berth in the finals. While Equestrian hoofball fans love a solid run by an underdog, they now find themselves on the wrong end of one of the best runs in recent years. Buyan has yet to lose a single match this year, their team playing infinitely better than their lowly ranking suggests. Only goal differential denied them a place in the group winners' playoff, their two wins over United Gordonopia marking Buyan as a serious threat. What makes them even more dangerous to the Equestrian States than any other team is the chance for revenge.

Few Ponies supporters remember much from the Confederations Cup over a year ago aside from the draw with then defending world champions Eura and the disappointing loss to Apox a few days later. However, there was one final match played after that by the Equestrians, against the 54th Baptism of Fire winners: Buyan. In a match which remains the heaviest defeat in their team's history, the Ponies took out their frustration on the visitors, rolling to a commanding 4-0 victory that showed Buyan just how far it had to go. Now, the losers on that day look to prove they have not only made up the previous gulf in class between the two sides, but have surpassed their former vanquishers as well.

Of course, to say the Equestrian States lost while their best players were on top form would be far from the truth. Missing both captain Fire Dash and vice-captain Starlight Sparkle to injury, the Equestrians showed just how important the presence of those players is to team morale. Though Fire Dash was already confirmed out thanks to an injury sustained in the first match with Armakistan, the loss of Starlight Sparkle was a surprise to many. It seems what was thought to be a minor tweak of the rear leg muscle in the dying minutes of the second leg victory was much worse than expected, as the Ponies' all-time assists leader will be out for at least a couple months. Even if the Equestrian States rally to defeat Buyan tonight, the cheerful unicorn midfielder will miss the finals while recovering. The demoralizing effect of playing without two of their most experienced and most successful stars was clear to see in the Equestrian players' faces after the final whistle. Though the Ponies had put up one hell of a fight, it was ultimately all for naught as Buyan remained undefeated while the Equestrian States dropped to 11-2-4 this cycle.

Twilight Striker's team now faces an extremely difficult task. Not only will they have to end the unbeaten streak of one of the hottest teams in the multiverse, but must do so in front of a stadium sure to be packed with hostile local fans. A win would not only boost the Ponies' dismal morale, but also shake off the demon of never having qualified for the finals via a playoff. There is still time for the Equestrian States to keep its dream of making history alive, but it will not be easy.

by **San Jose Guayabal** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:39 pm

www.elnacional.gu/sports/highlights

You are in: El nacional > sports > Highlights.

NEWS
- The Archregimancy 2-2 SJG, An important tie.
- SJG vs The Archregimancy, Let's do it!
- Analysis, the second leg.

Wrote by: Lourdes Amador/Samuel Moreno
Follow in GuayaNet as: @Loudor245 / @Samo44
April 13th, 2014. 3:45 A.M.

The Archregimancy 2-2 SJG, An important tie.

The travel restrictions, the arrival and the interview with fans.

SJG's national team had an excellent game yesterday in visitor status against The Archregimancy, a hard and historical rival yesterday showed excellent qualities of talent, SJG achieved the goal, they avoid a thrashing and at least score in condition visitor, which managed to follow the letter and managed to get a 2-2 draw in The Holy Monastery of Iviron, which remain hopeful the national team for the second leg to be played at Estadio de Barrio El Niño, in the city of Meléndez.

In in terms of fans, only seven hundred people went to The Archregimancy to witness the match of the national team for SJG, who left the players with a portal that teleported to the destination, it is noteworthy that only men attended the match and just two women were able to attend with their respective credentials issued by the Football Federation of SJG . The reasons why a low amount of fans went to The Archregimancy are:

Rules for travel to The Archregimancy

1) Each home match is preceded by the complete Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom. Rest assured that this should only require visiting teams, fans, and officials to stand for a mere 2 hours before kickoff. Consider yourselves lucky we don't use the Liturgy of St. Basil.

2) Direct travel from ordinary physical reality to the Dreamed Realm is impossible. Some 72 hours before your away qualifier in the Archregimancy, a team of monks shall arrive in your home stadium and construct a portal to the Dreamed Realm. You may then use this to travel to the Archregimancy at your leisure.

3) Visiting support is limited to a maximum of 2000 fans.

4) Women are not usually permitted into the Archregimancy. Exceptions will be made for visiting players and properly accredited officials - largely because we have to.

Due to these reasons, the fans could not bring drums, trumpets, vuvuzelas, flares in order to maintain order in the place of the party, which was reached after three to four minutes of travel, to get to the site saw a lot of fans by the home team, which conducted a prayer before entering the stadium and showing respect and obedience to God as they passed in front of the Holy Monastery of Iviron, considered one of the most sacred and revered places of the nation, so SJG fans attended the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom by national team players, going to have an intimate moment of communication with God and apart from showing respect for the local culture. Notably fans SJG did not drink beer or any alcoholic beverages and refrained from acts of celebration in the place as a sign of reverence for God, while we interviewed one of the fans who made the trip to The Archregimancy, who we related the following:

" What do you think of this place ? " Samuel Moreno asked as he recorded the conversation.

" It is a very quiet place where we can meet with God fully ," said fan while taking photos as a souvenir of the trip.

" As you can see after the game ? " Samuel asked , admiring the splendor of the monastery.

"Look , it will be a very interesting game for both teams proposed fine when playing, but they have the necessary experience to win this game , being optimistic can achieve something very good here," said the amateur in a good analysis worthy to be appreciated.

" How do you expect the final score ? " Samuel said quickly as he hurried to enter the stadium "

" Left 1-0 in favor of The Archregimancy , they have the experience and the advantage of being local , so very hard and interesting game for both teams coming ," said the fan while saying goodbye to Samuel.

SJG fans were placed near the field, so they had an excellent view of what happened during the game.

The tactical details, Paatelainen gives details.

On the tactical side of both teams, you had beforehand would be a tough game where neither would surrender without a fiercely fight because SJG is convinced to looking and make history while The Archregimancy seeks to keep his good mood and prolong its tradition by attending to the toilet many times in its history. Emanuel Inzer and Mathias Paatelainen did not reserved nothing for the match, lining up the usual starting XI without any variation as we refer to players, but if they have a tactical change would be a very conservative team in the game in order to obtain search a good result and try to score at least one goal in visitor status, which can be crucial in the next game there in SJG, where he will fight for a spot in the WC 68 in its phase Finals would align with 3-1-3-3 more emphasis in the midfield trying to prevent kickback or moves that could undermine the national team of SJG, after that we had an interview with Mathias Paatelainen, the coach of the national team who told us the reason for this alignment.

" Good morning sir manager, could you be so kind to answer a few questions ? " Samuel said in a very friendly tone.

"Yes, we will be happy to answer anything you need " Paatelainen you said in a very humble way .

" What is the reason that SJG will play more conservatively than you normally play? " Samuel said.

"This team is experienced and talented to play, if we play very offensively we can take its toll and we could end up with a bulking defeat easily and practically leaving us out of the WC Finals, which ultimately do not want knowing you end up playing as local and we take that element to win there and get a decent result here, " said Paatelainen in a very wise and admirable manner.

" You will use the same starting lineup ever? " Samuel asked as he watched the team warm ups performed .

" That's for sure, we will not keep anyone in this game, because the mission is clear, scoring an away goal at least avoid defeat, just that what we have been looking for and we will fight to the end to get the name God " Paatelainen said as he ordered the players to go to the change room and talk before the game.

After these statements, we proceeded to investigate how play The Archregimancy, and what we got they planned to play in an orthodox manner, respecting the rival and trying to play fair without cheating, according Sthephen the Wonderworker told us in a very quick statement and to some very brief point, using a 4-4-2 whose intention is not thrashing, but to get a result and leave on a good road their hopes of qualifying for the WC Finals, to be played in Legalese and The Free Republics.

Lets start the match.

After the formal events such as prayer to God for both teams and the national anthems of both nations, the party began, Sean Fraser moved the ball for the first time in the game, SJG was with the ball, passes to the defense and midfield were constant in the first minutes of play, while The Archregimancy through Manuel the Commanding generated moves very fast by the side of the pitch looking to Irenaeus the Swift took the ball and managed to score either head centered passes through or by means of backlash, where one stands out for its great speed and agility with legs when making a dribble or when trying to remove the pressure from defenders of SJG, specifically the pressure of James Moreira, who was chiefly responsible for preventing the Swift ocacionara Iranaeus problems in the defense of SJG.

Five minutes, SJG had his first shot at the goal of Pachomius the Sure of Hand, this opportunity came on a play started by a quick pass that performed Rodolfo Zelaya who ran quickly through the right side of the court, took a short pass to Sean Fraser who ventured to the area clear to finish above the goal of The Archregimancy, SJG already beginning to show signs that can not be confident throughout the match, taking clear what his goal to achieve during the first ninety minutes of the series. The Archregimancy had the first chance of the game twelve minutes, through the Irenaeus the Swift, who through the ball of Theodosius the Wise sought Henry Hernandez's goal with a shot from half distance but Hernandez achieving his goal to defend it, sending the ball to a corner and thus preventing any problems early. Manuel the Commanding made the corner, gave me pass Bathasius the Nimble who took a neglect of the defense of SJG to enter the area and make a shot which hit the physicist Meyson Salume who then cleared the ball and thus avoiding major problems for SJG who did not want to complicate any time.

At the first fifteen minutes we had had a very close game as both sides proposed the conventional style of play and sought to impose on the pitch through plays that put embarrass goalkeepers and defenses, either conservative or in a way psyched to attack without neglecting the defense at any time.

The statistics into the first part of the match.

Twenty minutes, SJG had the opportunity so far greater danger, because Sean Fraser approached the dangerously area and decided to give a pass to Rodolfo Zelaya to finish off this long range and crashed the ball on the crossbar of Pachomius the Sure of Hand who froze before that powerful shot that almost makes SJG on the front of the party, which narrowly succeeded The Archregimancy and twenty-six minutes, where Irenaeus the Swift managed a quick counterattack in question and reached second area of SJG, finishing off Henry Hernandez powerfully to stop shooting in his hands.

Within thirty minutes showed that SJG was not going to be intimidated by the opponent at any time, so that their level of possession rose to 47% but not enough to exceed 53% of The Archregimancy who maintained a constant game struggle to open the scoring, while both shots on goal, SJG had three while The Archregimancy had four to his credit, showing that it was a bit higher in terms of firepower but everything remained effective even as no team had hurt so far in the game.

The goal, Salume's words and the halftime.

Thirty-seven minutes, The Archregimancy through Bathasius the Nimble managed to found a ball cleared by Meyson Salume, starting a play with Manuel the Commander who dared to make a powerful shot from distance that narrowly did not enter Henry Hernandez's goal so upsetting defending SJG for a moment. Forty-two minutes, at the end of the first little while Rodolfo Zelaya runs down the left side of the pitch in a play kickback, pauses with the ball and pressure of Auxentius the Ascetic then send it centering pass towards Árbol Saucedo who hit the ball without stop making overcoming the resistance of Pachomius the Safe of Hand in a powerful shot into the center of the goal and scoring the 1-0 to SJG and achieve the big goal scoring an away goal, and what better time to do it than just before halftime, after that Mary Stout the referee from New Sideburn decreed the end of the first half, was put forward SJG towards The Archregimancy 1-0, after that we interviewed to Meyson Saulme, who answered as follows.

"Meyson, you can give us a few words?" Samuel once said in an impatient and courteous manner.

"No problem, you want to ask?" Salume said in an unorthodox way, due to fatigue.

"As you feel the performance?" Samuel asked.

"Performance is very good, thank God, we are all doing their best to search for good results we are getting for the glory and honor of God" Saulme expressed in a very enthusiastic way.

"Thanks for your statements" Samuel said as he took leave of Saulme.

In the halftime meeting, Emanuel Inzer and Mathias Paatelainen decided together to make some substitutions to keep the equipment in good shape entering: Mattias Passarelli and Darwin Ceren. They left the court Meyson Salume and Sebastián Núñez. With these amendments sought to maintain a style of balanced and conservative play for the national team for SJG to seek to score some extra goal and avoid losing, so I could look for everything at home before the home crowd, besides asking their to give the players all out, maximum effort to achieve a place in the 68 WC Finals, something every fan wants to see SJG undoubtedly.

Meanwhile at the meeting of the local team, Stephen the Wonderworker gathered his players for a prayer to God and ask for strength for the second half of the game, looking to score another goal and try to leave on a good road aspirations to go to the next phase of the WC 68 Finals, so the team kept their style of play, in Orthodox and cleanly, without tricks of any kind. After the strategic conversation conducted a second prayer to go out onto the pitch entrusted to the supreme creator, God.

The start of the second time, The Archregimancy scores.

At the start of the second half saw The Archregimancy were more dominant with the intentions of seeking to score the equalizer in a fast and well heading in a good direction facing the second leg to be played in SJG , Irenaeus was the Swift most dangerous of the national team of The Archregimancy from the beginning of the match and confirmed her status forty seven minutes, where in a counterattack organized a team move the ball to give the Bathasius Nimble , who dribbled to a player then Mattías Passarelli stay in a play of hand to hand with Henry Hernandez who used his reflexes to get the ball from the goal and send it to a corner, avoiding the painful need to get the ball in his own net. In the corner, the Nimble Bathasius paero managed to give a header sent the ball up , leaving Henry Hernandez no concerns so far.

After the first five minutes after the time has elapsed , The Archregimancy could find gaps in the defense of SJG where advantage to make their own through powerful shots to the upper right of the goal of Henry Hernández into the corner or lower left corner of Hernandez, involving them in actions for serious trouble SJG defense, which culminated fifty two minutes when the Swift Irenaeus succeeded in making a counterattack from midfield and then left alone to Henry Hernandez and off to the lower right corner of the goal, tying the game at 1-1, leaving the opportunity for anything could happen in the remaining thirty- eight minutes match.

Second half statistics and Faña scores.

Game actions for both teams were basically good, The Archregimancy was making making opportunities that generate true danger on the goal of Henry Hernandez or through pass plays longer than they were detained by the defense of SJG in an appropriate way, while SJG started climbing opportunities in the form of possession in the midfield , something that happened from where sixty minute plays by Sean Fraser and actions complement and Jonathan Faña managed to embarrass Pachomius the Safe of Hand, he displayed his name through plays where the ball cleared properly or sent to a corner in order to prevent any problems through security to stop balls.

Seventy-three minutes, Jonathan Faña managed to make a quick counterattack through the midfield taking the ball ddesde that point and then give it to Leónidas Bregoo who then gave the ball to the Faña to achieve a series of dribbles do and be in front from the goal and then send the ball to the right side, exactly in the bottom corner and put to SJG in the lead with this was getting to a major scoring two goals in visitor status step was a few minutes yet remained in possession of the lead with a shot of 54 % against 46% in favor of The Archregimancy, who had generated seven shots on goal against the five auctions of SJG, realizing the effectiveness of the national team until that time section of the game by SJG keeping in good level at the eighty minutes mark.

The time and the statements of Fraser.

Eight minutes remaining for the final whistle Sean Fraser missed a clear opportunity that would have given more advantage on the scoreboard for SJG, Rodolfo Zelaya gave a pass to Leónidas Bregoo to give this another centering pass to Sean Fraser, who failed to give a clear opportunity underpowered the shot with his head, sending the ball and shot wrong.

Now to complete the actions of the game, in eighty six minutes John the Clairvoyant took the ball at midfield , running up to about thirty yards from the goal of Henry Hernandez to give the ball to George Thoughtful, who again gave centered the ball towards the head of John the Clairvoyant to give this a good header and scored the final 2-2 match against Henry Hernandez could not prevent a goal despite a decent effort to help with this SJG managed an excellent draw and two away goals they sejan in a good condition for the home game against The Archregimancy will have in front of our home crowd, something that undoubtedly will encourage and motivate the players of the national team of SJG to get the great result that is expected from them and thus achieve defend local status to ensure a spot in the WC 68 Finals. To conclude we had an interview with Sean Fraser who told us the following.

" Tell us Sean , how you feel? " Samuel asked amicably as he hugged Fraser , who curiously shared time together in elementary school .

" I feel great my friend , we have now achieved splendid results thanks to God and to the fans who came to support us here , I 'm happy "

" As you feel was your role in the game? " Samuel asked as he took a bottle of water to Fraser

"My role was very good, shame we could not narrow clear scoring plays , but I hope with faith in God that the next match is achieved and so to secure the qualification for the WC 68 Finals for the fans of SJG, hope to God that our effort is rewarded " cheerful Fraser said.

" As you think will be the support of the fans there in Meléndez ? " Samuel said.

"It will be awesome, no doubt will be a real sports festival where we will fight until the last breath " Fraser said , as he left the pitch to the locker room.

SJG vs The Archregimancy, lets do it!

After embarking on the journey back to SJG by both teams, who returned through the portal formed by the monks of The Archregimancy, SJG players returned to high physical performance center for professional athletes, located in the city of Meléndez players of the national team gave a press conference, led by team captain Rodolfo Zelaya in view of the next game which will be decisive for the aspirations of SJG if want to go to the World Cup match 68 Finals, the following is a summary of the most important press conference.

"Rodolfo, we have a couple of questions for you, no problem with that answer?" Asked Maria Arteaga, a journalist from Channel Twelve.

"Sure, come without pain" Zelaya responded with full ease.

"As a plan to play the next game at the tactical level?" José Luis Echegoyén wonder, reporter channel one.

"We will play wisely, without underestimating the opponent, we'll play one on one without fear, and with the support of 123,000 fans who support us throughout the game, although it lengthens into overtime or penalties" answered Zelaya as he played a sandwich hand.

"They are ready for the game?" It was a question posed by Suárez Maria del Carman, a journalist specializing in sports blog.

"More than ready, we are ready to earn qualification for the World Cup 68 Finals, that's our goal for this match, and I am fully confident that we will succeed as a team, as a fraternity, as set in a humble way and in the name of God we will. " Zelaya said while other players left the hall to go to training.

"Thank you for your time," said the journalists while they were leaving the press room, aware that players should train.

SJG fans feel totally excited for this game, which promises many things about the fans, as the company in charge of ticketing "Buy n' go" Luis Canizales, has sold more than 100,000 entries only twelve hours, a record compared to other times, there is also willing to provide 2,000 tickets to the monks that accompany the national team of The Archregimancy and also offer a service in the chapel next to the stadium, where a monk SJG Orthodox Church will lead the service with the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil, in appreciation of the hospitality extended by the people of The Archregimancy in the first leg, hospitality worthy of admiration.

In a note to fans, has resurfaced a story in which Ramon Suarez shows us national team SJG classifying the WC Finals, a story of passion written a couple of years ago, which has recovered its SJG popularity since it came to this point, very close to the WC 68 Finals

Childhood Dreams, wrote by Ramón Suárez.

Raul returned home after finishing the art class, where he had to make a comic about the subject he wanted.

After eating and resting for a moment, Raul did not imagine that I could draw, looked and thought for a moment I could do, but found nothing to distract decided to watch TV to see if there was something very interesting that inspire him.

But after several hours after sunset (it was the night) saw something that she likes and motivates the heart not only his, but that motivates the heart of nearly one billion Guayabalenses, joining in a mission, a sense an inexplicable passion (the official jersey of SJG NT and a poster of their favorite players of the SJG NT) that crazy unexplained and consistent we can not control the Guayabalenses, was his inspiration to do the comic for the art class apart that he remembered something very important that motivated him even more.

The inspiration of Raul.

What motivated him more?, The simple fact that tomorrow will be the first game of SJG in the WC Qualifiers and the first game of SJG would in House, that motivated him to create a comic where he imagined he was a player of SJG, who scored valuable and important goals that clinched the classification of SJG to the WC, then scored more goals and confirmed their progress to the WC Finals

SJG fans celebrating the Qualifying to the WC Final.

As he wrote in his comic and what he imagined, SJG joined entirely in one uncontrollable passion and great joy, attended by thousands of spectators from SJG, to the stadium which will host the final game in SJG soil, then he drew the score was 2-2 at the last minute of the game and it was fouled in the area, which the referee awarded a penalty and he scored, doing that SJG achieved it, it will be in the WC Finals!

The comic

Then, the teacher stopped the class and said: "Raul, your story is so beautiful it should not be only heard or exposed, to be admired and contemplated so.

-All, please give me an S

-S

-Give me a J:

-J

-Give me a G

-G

What did you say?

- (Students shout): SJG!, SJG!, SJG, SJG!

And that's how football and the SJG NT generate a passion, a feeling that can not stop, a fervor, a power unit, comfort and call where we are all one with the voice and strength of a billion people that supports the screaming in unison.

SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG! SJG!.

In an exclusive interview with Ramon Suarez shows how you currently feel.

"Hi, Raul your story is very nice, but tell us, how you feel when SJG currently is in that moment of being on the cusp of the 68 WC Finals and local status" Lourdes said in a cheerful voice .

"I'm exciting, I feel that what I dreamed will be achieved soon, therefore I would be done if SJG ranks the 68 WC Finals" Raul said in a very reasoned way.

"What inspired you to do this story?"

"The joy that football gives you, that totally inspired me, but unfortunately I have to go, I have to go buy the tickets to go to the stadium, a luxury I can not lose," Raul said hastily as he left to Lourdes.

You can tune the match at Channel 12, at 7:30 PM or view it via www.elnacional.gu/steamsele

Analysis, the second leg.

Now in the plane of The Multivrse, yesterday interesting and exciting football matches lived, where the national teams of thirty-six nations that still belong in competition, they struggle to get one of the remaining eighteen spaces to classify the WC 68 Finals, since a couple of days ago, classified twelve national teams, which joined Legalese and The Free Republics for WC 68 Finals, the results below.

Second Playoff, First Leg Results

German American States 1–0 Ko-oren
Sargossa 1–3 Neu Engollon
The Licentian Isles 1–0 Sameba
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec 4–4 Glaser
Estope 2–2 The Royal Barangay
Vaugania 0–0 United Gordonopia
Taeshan 1–2 Super-Llamaland
Sicoutimont 3–1 Blouman Empire
Darmen 3–3 Zwangzug
Astograth 2–2 Jeruselem
Kazamatsuri 1–1 Barunia
Kandorith 2–3 Cassadaigua
Mizuyuki 2–3 Osarius
The Archregimancy 2–2 San Jose Guayabal
Paradystopia 0–0 Starblaydia
New Sideburn 6–4 Farfadillis
Equestrian States 0–1 Buyan
Kinitaria 1–0 Vilita

A part of the result of our national team, presented above, would highlight different factors such as: eight draws were given between ten and eight games were played yesterday, these eighteen managed to win ten, of which five were road wins five local victories, which were competitive and among which include the following.

Buyan managed a big surprise in Ponyville , defeating the minimal difference (0-1 ) to Equestrian States, one of the strongest teams in the Multiverse suffered a lot with the visitor, who has taken an important step in their aspirations for the next round.

New Sideburn managed to give the match with the most goals of the day , defeating home to Farfadillis by the score of 6-4 , achieved very good as it is to defend the home court but the large number of goals conceded to be affected .

Vilita were defeated 1-0 by Kinitria in Mi'ato, even a little difference of goals, the game was very interesting and theaction from both squads was espectacular.

Neu Engollon Sargossa defeated by 1-3 in Soluca city , with a party that gave us spectacular goals and Neu Engollon that needs little to go to the WC Finals .

German American States managed to secure a victory by the minimum difference to Ko-oren , a rival with excellent defense succumbed to the constant attempts by Die Maschine.

You can tune the leg of these and other matches through www.elnacional.gu/steam/inter.

by **Mizuyuki** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:42 pm

"What? Those impudent fools over in Kinitaria did what? I won't stand for this, I tell you!"

Suzuya Games Corporation HQ was a monolithic construction, towering over the rest of the skyscrapers bang in the center of Mizunaga CBD – one of Mizuyuki's most prestigious financial centres. The place was awash with money 24/7 – speculators, business executives, and millionaires alike plunged billions upon billions of Mizuyuki aurorae and Kazamatsuri credits into the gaping hole that was the CBD, and inevitably came out much the poorer for their ill-advised financial flings.

However, this story does not concern the Mizunaga CBD. Nor is it a story about the meteoric rise of some enterprising enterpreneur in the world of business nad finance – a veritable rags-to-riches story that modern TV producers love to force-feed their brain-dead audience. What it does revolve around is one middle-aged individual with a rather portly figure – one who loved his food and did not much care for fashion. One who was, even now, acquiring a rather dramatic puce colouring while bellowing down his smartphone at some unfortunate employee.

People say that one can gain valuable insights into a certain individual's personality just by observing their daily routine and cross-referencing one's findings with what one would expect from said individual. Take the President of one of the most renowned video game company in the fair land of Mizuyuki, for example. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but when I think of a CEO, I always managed to conjure up the image of a perfect gentleman – dignified, stately and composed; sanguine and courteous even under the worst of circumstances, and ever willing to lend a helping hand to a person in need – a gallant knight embodying the virtues of honour and chivalry.

I am aware that I was an idealist, yes. But the more observant among you will have noticed my subtle usage of the past tense in the previous sentence.

Yes, I was one before I made it onto the payroll of SG Corp. - or to give it its proper name, Suzuya Games Corporation. As of today, it has been half a year since I first stepped into Suzuya HQ looking for a job – six months of dreary, thankless administrative work serving as the PA of Suzuya's President, Kashima Hideki. I can attest that it is among one of the most tiresome forms of employment in the known world, and if it were not for the handsome pay, I would doubtless have handed in my notice the very day after my employment.

But I digress. Again, this story is not about me; it is about my superior, the aforementioned, shockingly puce, bellicose and acerbic Kashima Hideki. A complete asshat of a person if there ever was one. I can only lament the fact that Fate chose to place him in the lap of luxury, where he terrorised and bullied every single person he came across ever since the moment he popped out of his mother's womb.

Having shouted his lungs out and hurled his phone halfway across the office slap into a wastepaper basket, a breathless Kashima flopped down in his office chair, panting like a fish out of water.

Serves you right for dining and wining every single day of the year, you bugger.

I pretended not to notice while I sorted out and prepared the files for today's R&D meeting – which, despite Kashima making it a point to attend in his official capacity ' in the interests of the company', was largely headed by the no-nonsense head of R&D. On the rare occasions that Kashima actually found something to contribute within that uselessly small lump of brain matter within his prodigiously empty skull, everyone – myself included – would simply humour him with a condescending smile and a few choice words of praise. He never seemed to tire of it.

"Just listen to this shit, Kikuchi. What the hell do they think they're playing at, those dadblamed Kinitars? Just because they qualified at the expense of Mizuyuki at last cycle's World Cup Finals ... "

As was his wont, the livid Kashima slammed a clenched fist onto his desk, rattling the pieces of glassware on it. Not that I gave a shit about his little temper tantrums, but I had to make a show of appeasing him, otherwise he was liable to rekindle his rage in the middle of the R&D and make life absolutely horrible for everyone else.

"Yes, Kashima-shachou. What is it? It's rare to see you in such a temper."

No it bloody well is not. Hell, the rest of the department can predict your temper tantrums so well, they've got the meteorological experts over at weather forecast beat.

Wheezing with the effort, old man Kashima swivelled around in his chair and fixed a baleful eye on me.

"You're familiar with the Kinitar company Multiverse Games, right? If I remember correctly, you submitted a game development proposal that was partly based on one of their games a couple of months ago."

I shrugged nonchalantly. I had merely ripped off the Kinitars – their new footie management simulator game had been put on sale over the 'net for practically peanuts, and I – being an avid football fan and micromanagement freak – had seized on the chance to get my hands on a copy.

'Granted, the graphics are clunky, and their DLCs are light years behind, in terms of quality, industry leader Gordonopia Games – but on the whole, it is a fairly good game, plus it offers great value for money. It is certainly cheaper by a country mile when compared to Gordonopia Games' latest glitzy offering. Definitely worth a try for the hardcore football management sim enthusiast.' That was one of the reviews I'd consulted before deciding to grace Multiverse Games with my custom. It turned out to be one of the most sadly misinformed, piece-of-shit excuse for a review I've ever read in my three decades.

I'd toyed around with it for a while – if 272 hours can be called 'a while'. I sought out the best teams and created grand dynasties; I excavated the worst teams from the mire and raised them to unprecedented heights. I tinkered with tactics and training routines until I was sick of them. It was a shame that Mizuyuki hadn't gotten around to registering their domestic leagues with UICA – which meant that the only Mizuyukian representation in the game came from Shirakiin Kurumi's Nova.

Eventually, I embarked on the journey that every Mizuyuki-jin manager must have dreamed of – that of managing the national team to glory at the World Cup. The squad was a shadow of its real counterpart – the stats hardly did the players justice. Frankly, it rankled with me when I saw the finishing stat for our first-choice striker Izawa – a pitiful 14. The likes of Felix's Mikel Araboa had a 17, for fuck's sake – to misquote a certain Mizuyuki-jin footballing luminary - the guy couldn't hit a barn door with a machine gun. He certainly wasn't any better than Izawa at putting the ball into the net. Clearly the Kinitars were either biased as hell, or they were ridiculously inept scouts. It would certainly explain why they hadn't ever won a playoff match in the real world.

Despite all the obstacles in my way, I persevered with the task at hand. I painstakingly remodeled the Nova to my liking – all the youngsters were given abundant chances, while the old hands were relegated to the reserves. The job had a pretty steep learning curve, which wasn't helped by the uncompromising AI – fail to meet even one objective and you'd be out on your ear in a flash. It took me numerous sackings and even more painful defeats at the hands of our World Cup rivals before I ended up in a final, versus – believe it or not – Qazox. Those perennial underachievers and the very representation of futility – you'd think I would have a easy time against them, no?

You would be wrong. I got a thrashing at the hands of the cyborgs and ended up losing 5-1. To top it off, I finished the match with nine players on the pitch – two sent off for professional fouls, including my first-choice 'keeper Takanashi, who somehow also contrived to acquire a hairline fracture in the process of committing the foul. That was when I decided to chuck my copy of the game out the window and write up a proposal for a better one. One which offered realistic simulation – a game which would outsell those bastards at Multiverse Games, just to get back at them for making me sit through more than a hundred hours of hell with the Nova.

"These Kinitar upstarts over at Multiverse Games have just trotted out a new advert for their Multiverse Manager game."

Feigning disinterest, I continued to flip through the files. I knew Kashima wasn't about to stop – not until he had let off his head of steam. Thank Kirigiri he didn't often choose to vent his anger at me.

"Is that so, President?"

Kashima's voice cranked up several decibels in his anger.

"Of course it bloody well is, Kikuchi! D'you think your superior makes a living out of lying to you, eh? The sheer cheek of it!"

Oh, I have no doubt you do; who was it that promised me a pay rise last week and then tried to pass it off as an early April Fool's joke?

The mere thought of the tasteless prank soured my mood. I had been looking forward to celebrating my pay rise by pampering my SO and myself by going out for dinner at the Sunrise (no connection to the country), but of course those plans went down in flames. A note of anger, accompanied by a generous helping of sarcasm, crept into my tone.

"And has that advert blasphemed, defecated in copious amounts on your well-kept lawn, blown up your lovely summer house with TNT, or otherwise done something to offend the living shit out of you, President?"

Kashima retorted with some passion, "It has done something unforgivable, and that annoys the hell outta me – they've gone and blatantly misrepresented the talent and quality of the Mizuyuki national team! The bloody commie swine! We're worse than Taeshan? Valanora and Osarius I can live with, but goddamn Taeshan?"

"Need I remind you, my dear President, that Mizuyuki is currently under a socialist government? The very same government which you voted for?"

"I'm damn well aware of that fact! What do you take me for, a three-year-old toddler? Or perhaps an elderly imbecile?"

"That's neither here nor there, President Kashima." I furrowed my brow. It wasn't always easy dealing with the execs, but dealing with a bloody-minded chap like him was another matter altogether. If I had a tiresomeness meter built in it'd be spinning around like crazy right now.

"Well you better damn well get over here, on the company's side, and sort out an official press release sharpish, 'cause we're gonna blow them out of the goddamn water with a football management simulator of our own!" Kashima snorted.

"And what could have possessed you to think that we can just stroll in and grab a large slice of the management simulator market? We've had zilch experience, zilch footballing expertise in R&D, zilch ... "

Kashima narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Well, we'll just go with this. I'll eat my hat if we don't blast past the idiots at Multiverse Games with this one." Laboriously, he reached forward and swivelled his laptop around, so that I could see the screen.

I muttered bitterly under my breath, "Well, good luck with that. I'll be sure to wait with a spiffy, starchy top hat at the ready, and I'll have a video camera at the ready to film you choking to death. Serves you right for canning my proposal without a second thought. And now you want to push my stuff as your own ... ?"

Bloody corporate swine. Such was a day in my life at Suzuya Games.

by **Kandorith** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:50 pm

Defeated To Pick Up The Pieces?

By Lisho Yaru

The match progressed well till the last minutes, where Kandorith gave away a fatal goal to Cassadaigua, a last minute beating, Xíanjí exclaimed carefully. The Kandorese team still has a chance, but it is a very slim one, one they have to utilize to the fullest. With the play-offs coming to an end the future of Xíanjí as coach of the Kandorese national team is uncertain, but he is still the most popular coach in the history of the nation. Where the faults were, he knows, but he won't give that information to the press initially. The Kandorese team has to shape up for their next match if they want to have a shot at regaining their World Cup chance; even though they were defeated, the fans are still hopeful till the very last moment their team kicks the ball around on the pitch.

Annalists had various theories on the recent defeat of the team, but eventually it all came down to not scoring enough goals. Xíanjí already exclaimed he would address some vital problems he saw at the very beginning of the match and ensures the fans that Kandorith will give everything, and absolutely everything to survive. "To come so far and then fall would be devastating for both the team and the fans" Xíanjí exclaimed. "I have talked to the team and upped our spirits for the upcoming match. We know what went wrong and it is of vital importance to fix that right now, we can not give them any ground and we have to strike back with our full potential. It is time for the Kandorese dragon to breathe fire once again and play with fire in their hearts." A still optimistic coach said.

For now the team might just be eliminated from the World Cup contest, which would be devastating after reaching the World Cup in their last run. The Kandorese team nor the fans refuse to give up at this point and will give everything they have in what comes down to the very last minute of the qualifying campaign if they make it to the World Cup, it would again be a historical move. Where the fans are still hoping and praying, there is still a chance to be had, but the team needs to grab every single chance they can and will get. The difficult position they are in, isn't their first difficult position they have been in and where Kandorith came out on top. The stakes are higher than ever and the team is more ready than ever, the 'day of reckoning' as fans call it, is upon the Kandorese team.

by **Kinitaria** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:59 pm

Kinitaria took a massive step towards the World Cup finals after seeing off Vilita at a frenzied Central Stadium.

In front of a fevered atmosphere, Navra Kulisev's early piledriver proved to be the goal that settled the tie. The KF Mi'ato front man was returning to haunt Vilita for the second time, having previously scored the winning goal in Kinitaria's 4-3 win over the same opposition at the Lonngeylin Coliseum in World Cup 65 qualification.

On that occasion, Vilita rattled in three goals in eleven minutes to surge into a 3-0 lead, but Kinitaria, in what was only Melody Pond's second competitive fixture in charge of Kinitaria, showed an astonishing resilience to turn the tie around. They first replied with an ambitious long-range shot from Kristijan Preda, and forced themselves level thanks to Milan Beskid and a Luka Sabčot penalty, before Kulisev pounced on a defensive mistake to seal the win with only a few minutes remaining.

That was a different time for both teams, of course. Vilita were still regarded as a powerful team, if not the world force that they once were. Kinitaria were just about maintaining stability in the world rankings, unable to force their way to the very top. Eventually, it was not to be for Melody Pond's side. Vilita won the reverse fixture 3-1 at the Central Stadium, and eventually topped the group on the basis of that head-to-head result. Kinitaria had to settle for a playoff with the Blouman Empire, which was predictably lost.

But the times they are a-changing, and both teams will feel that their fortunes have been on the up recently. Vilita have broken back into the top ten, and will feel they are in a position to beat anyone. Realistically, should they get through to the World Cup, their aim should be to win it. Kinitaria, meanwhile, bask in the glory of a maiden World Cup qualification in 67, where they stunned everyone by getting out of the group stage, helped by a shock 2-0 win over Turori.

That was a day of joy for the Kinitar fans who travelled to Cassadaigua in their thousands, but if there was to be a return to the World Cup finals, it was going to have to be matched against Turori's bigger, older, and harder brother. For all Melody Pond made her stirring statements about how Kinitaria weren't afraid of Vilita, surely everyone feels a bit apprehensive when the team ranked 6th in the world decides they're going to go for the attack against you, especially if they're unbeaten throughout qualification.

Kinitaria and Vilita have both been known as high-scoring teams recently, so it's no surprise that the capacity crowd packed into the Central Stadium were expecting goals. It's also not surprising that the opening exchanges of the game were marked by a high degree of caution from both sides, because that's always how these high-profile games between top teams seem to end up. That's at least until Navra Kulisev decided to throw caution to the wind, driving forward past two challenges, and unloading a scorcher of a shot from 20 yards past Jaqe Planst and into the back of the net. It proved to be the spark the previously cagey arena needed, as the Central Stadium burst into life. And also fire, thanks to the pyros that some Kinitar fans had brought in.

It turns out that scoring an early goal against a top ten team with a strong attacking mentality is like poking a bear with a sharp stick. Only, in this case, the bear also has a flamethrower. Vilita immediately set about trying to claw back the one-goal deficit, with Nili Ylimaiina in particular seeming wasteful. He tried an overhead kick from a corner, which sailed high over the bar, before seeing Birka Sulemcev, returning from suspension, block his goal-bound shot on the line with the goalkeeper well beaten.

Everyone in the stadium was waiting for the inevitable Vilitan onslaught, but it never seemed to materialise. Although the Jungle Cats dominated possession and territory after Kulisev's goal, they couldn't really muster any more shots on target. Kinitaria were pinned back in their own half constantly, but found it a simple task to keep Vilita at arm's length. They even had a good chance to go 2-0 up when Limcič broke clear of the Vilita defence, but Tadalek was charging back to make the interception before the Kinitar striker could pull the trigger.

The home side were able to hold on (although they didn't have much holding on to do) until half-time, a roar of approval greeting the efforts of the Kinitar team as they traipsed off the field to receive some words of wisdom from the coaching staff. Calaesa Mitaroka looked positively furious as he headed down the tunnel, and made the choice to throw on Sirkii Moliaudo at the break, in the hope of injecting some much-needed life into the Vilitan attack. The disappointing Nili Ylimaiina made way, while Kinitaria remained unchanged.

There wasn't much done differently as the second half began. Kinitaria's formation, usually a fluid attacking one with the wingers pushing up to support the attack, became staunchly defensive, giving Vilita the task of breaking down the old two banks of four. The visitors struggled to manage it and were restricted mostly to long-range shots. Most of them sailed off-target, although one effort from Steffyn Siazzu did have Alčer backpedalling. Fortunately, the keeper was able to get a hand to the shot that looked as though it might just dip in.

Vilita's attacking prowess is dangerous, and they can bombard a team with shots when they get a head of steam going, but it was hard for them to keep up the tempo they'd been playing with since the twelfth minute. In need of a goal, they seemed to be loosening their grip on the game rather than going for the away goal that might well prove vital. Kinitaria weren't going to be able to conjure up many attacking chances either, but that was perfectly fine by Melody Pond. The balance of possession began to shift to the hosts, and they were able to keep and control the ball with a sense of ease bordering on arrogance.

Mitaroka didn't like it. Adlani and Zaman came on in quick succession as the Vilita manager rolled the dice for the last time. Vilita didn't have a lot of other options - they felt they needed to go for the goal, because coming away from Mi'ato without an away goal was almost worth an extra goal advantage to Kinitaria in the return leg. On the other side, the veteran Ciprian Marin came on for Kovra Mircič, and Limcič was sacrificed for Telmar Brizi. The 5-4-1 that Pond adopted was very unusual for Kinitaria, who weren't used to such a defensive formation, but needs must.

It was expected that Kinitaria would come under some serious sustained pressure in the last quarter of an hour, but Vilita took a while to get going. The substitutions shook the visitors up a bit, leading to them resuming their dominance on the ball, but Kinitaria were playing a flat back nine by this point and Vilita had started far too late. Perran Adlani struck the outside of the post with a low shot that slipped through the crowd, and Akarelm's chipped effort had Alčer worried before it landed on top of the goalnet, but for the most part, anything that Vilita could throw at Melody Pond's side was mopped up by the massed home defence.

Four minutes of added time went up on the board. Lianska pumped a couple of crosses into the box, but they were headed away easily. With tens of thousands of whistles ringing around the stadium, the referee called time on proceedings. Kinitaria's supporters celebrated like they were already in the finals, while Calaesa Mitaroka looked incensed as he departed the field, hardly believing that his team could be so careless.

It's far from over yet. Vilita at home is a thought to make anyone quiver, and it's certain that there will be changes to the Vilita side after their wasteful display in Mi'ato. But the Kinitar fans, who taunted their opponents with chants of "you'll be back here next week", will allow themselves to dare to dream as they travel to Alikki-Corra in their droves.

by **Legalese** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 5:01 pm

And we're finally here. 192 entries, fourteen matches, and now, the last of four playoff legs for some. Tonight, World Cup 68 qualifying may be over, but we know that the World Cup never ends.

Second Playoff Leg Two is now cut off.

by **McKleigh** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:27 pm

We wanted to give some final annalysis on the cup and give a big McKleighvian thanks to the hosts as well as the members of group 23 for making this World Cup a great experience for our nation. To those advancing to the finals and COH we wish you luck. To the rest, we hope to one day face off against you again in future events.

McKleigh was eliminated Friday night as Starblaydia defeated them 1-0 to advance to the second leg of the qualifying playoffs. Since then Starblaydia also failed to qualify and we assume will be participating in the COH. Our team however will be headed home and preparation will begin for WC69. McKleigh entered WC68 with little more than just an intention to get back into the world of international football and begin to rebuild it's KPB rating for future cups and perhaps a few friendlies. We feel they have accomplished that and more, and are excitedly looking forward to the future of McKleighvian football. Here is a list of their records and scores by opponants world rank and KPB rating.

Home	Away	KPB	Rank	Nation
W 3-2	L 0-1	31.91	12	Starblaydia
L 2-5	L 1-2	29.76	15	Equestrian States
L 0-3	L 0-2	24.04	27	Zwangzug
W 2-1 	W 2-0 	10.24	88	Iturributa
W 2-1 	W 1-0 	6.25	116	Levivania
D 2-2	W 3-1 	5.45	125	Patistan
W 3-2	W 1-0 	1.5	209	Zwannswijik
W 3-0 	W 1-0 	0.13	356	Gandham Islands

by **Ko-oren** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:40 pm

My last effort for this World Cup. A note from all 15 languages from all 40 linguistic communities:

(PT) A melhor defesa é o ataque: Strongest Attack – Valladares, 64
Weakest Attack - Krad United, 4

(DE) Lieber biegen, als brechen: Strongest Defense – Zwangzug, 3
Weakest Defense - Andromeda Islands, 54

(FR) Deux ancres sont bonnes au navire (on a besoin d'une bonne défense et d'une bonne attaque): Best GD – Valladares +45
Worst GD - Sammelreich -44

(CY) Adar o'r unlliw, ehedant i'r unlle: Most goals per group – Group 12, 271
Least goals per group - Group 15, 164

(ZH) 多多益善: Most goals/game ratio – 83 Valldares
Least goals/game ratio - 19 Crystal Empire

(IS) Árinni kennir illur ræðari: No-win teams – Nyucia, Kaldtland, Braylandia, Andromeda Islands, Schottia, Springmont, Krad United, the Vilkings, Arititan, Ratastan, Neuereland, Espandaea, Gandham Islands, Total n Utter Inanity
(CZ) Trpělivost růže přináší: Teams unbeaten – Zwangzug, Valldares, Eura, Turori, Valanora, Polar Islandstates, Vilita (2nd place!), Audioslavia, Cassadaigua, Barunia, Buyan (2nd place!)
(JP) 順風満帆: Teams going 100% - NONE

(EN) The exception proves the rule: Best record – Valldares 40p, +45 GD
(RU) Вре́мя — лу́чший до́ктор: Worst record – Andromeda Islands 0p, -43 GD

(MN) Уснаас хуурай гараx: Worst qualifier – German American States, 27p, +12
Best non-qualifier - Zwangzug, 38p, +24

(TR) Güneşte yanmayan gölgenin kıymetini bilmez: Best of the worst (best team in 8th) – Lojal, 10p -22 GD

(KR) 뜻이 있는 곳에 길이 있다: Biggest win – Nouvel Ecosse 10-2
(NL) Niet geschoten is altijd mis: Most goals in one match – Nouvel Ecosse 10-2 Wesleyia

I might be very wrong on a few of those, though.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:02 pm

"Well, Lars, I certainly think both teams have a chance to advance."

"Right, Franklin. We're back here from Super-Llamaland's Emerald Springs Coliseum. A tri-sport stadium in beautiful Emerald Springs. This is Tigers Live with Lars Russell and Franklin Petersen on Llamaland Sports Radio, AM 600. They're renovating the baseball section of it, it appears. And we're here in the sixty-third minute."

"Bobby Crosby and Jordan Jaffacake have been mouthing at each other for a good deal of the game, a scoreless tie."

"Jake Wiggins, no relation to Ender, can't make the pass to Masters. Lydie intercepts it, dribbles around Wiggins, shot up to Jeremi Krieder. Krieder makes a play forward, spins around, right through two defenders. Allen and Reagan fooled, this won't be good. Uh oh. Pass to Andrew Müller, across, fires with the left, McNeal deflects it off the crossbar!"

"Makes a grab, there's Lou Hanson to kick it away. Hanson fires across the field laterally to Justin Allen. Allen tries to dribble upfield, tackled away by Mark Tlumach. Tlumach to Wiggin, Wiggin a sweet pass by two defenders to the barely-onsides Brian Ibrahim. Ibrahim shoots on target, blocked by McNeal, Wiggin darts in for the finish--GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLL for Taeshan! One-zip here in Emerald Springs!"

"What side are you on, Franklin?"

"The Tigers. But wow, what a play! About twenty minutes to go and the Tigers are down one-zip. Still ahead on away goals, but another goal would be disastrous."

"Seventy-sixth."

"Yup."

"Lars, this is a big moment."

"So it is."

"An ugly foul and the captain Ender Wiggin is going to get a penalty kick here in minute eighty-two. McNeal and Wiggin. Wiggin and McNeal. This could be the biggest moment of Henry McNeal's budding career, although Wiggin's seen so much I doubt you could say the same for him. This could determine who advances to the playoffs. Wiggin steps back, deep breath, runs in, winds up. The shot by the master striker from Taeshan. Curves beautifully, McNeal dives and it's OFF THE CROSSBAR AND ALLEN WINS THE FIGHT AND CLEARS IT OUT! Ender Wiggin barely misses the shot and Tigers fans across the multiverse can breathe!"

"Certainly a huge save, Frank. Wow. That's amazing. Taeshan has another chance now with the throw-in."

"What a miss. Ender Wiggin must be kicking himself."

"That's right. They could've been up two-zip. A sure victory and a series lead."

"Throws it in, intercepted by Karl Benedict, and that's that."

"A two-two series tie, but Tigers lead on away goals here in minute eighty-seven."

"Certainly a close one. The Purple Knights need a goal, and here they are, ready for a free kick. Can they pull off the act of breaking Tiger fans' hearts around the world?"

"For a fourth consecutive cycle, the Tigers have been beaten in the last few matchdays, crescendoing to the apex, a loss on away goals to Kandorith last cycle."

"The shot, over Wiggin's head, Fawkes has it, shoots on target, right at McNeal!"

"Whew!"

"Punt to Cartwright, nifty pass over to Platona. Platona runs to the left and deals it cross-field to Jacob Brennaman. Brennaman makes a run at Jordan Jaffacake, between his legs to Crosby! Provyay runs at Crosby, shot off the post, Masters darts in and PUTS IT IN THE BACK OF THE NET! GOOOOOOOAAAALLLL PETER MASTERS! IT'S TWO TO ONE AND THE TIGERS HAVE THIS ALL BUT LOCKED UP!"

"The two minutes of stoppage are up. Crosby kicks a shot out of bounds and the final whistle blows! Tigers in the World Cup! It's taken us twenty-four years! I never thought I would see this day! The Tigers are one of the final thirty-two remaining! TIGERS IN THE WORLD CUP! OH MY!"

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:22 pm

Rubio Sanchez on the 'Cloud Nine', and the true meaning of Esportiva's rise to prominence

Watchers of the popular SBO swords 'n hookers 'n small-people-with-rosy-cheeks drame Thane of Gnomes may have experienced a bout of deja-vu on Wednesday evening. For most in Atlantian Oceania, the final leg of the final playofff was supposed to be a celebration, the point whereby you toast to your national team's successful qualification for the World Cup and then argue about which prospective finals group would be considered, objectively, the group of death. It might seem a tad premature by the standards of those outwith the region, but one has to remember just how used to being top-dogs we are in AO. Even despite the World Cup having been won solely by Rushmori nations this decade, Atlantian Oceania still had almost an entire half of last cycle's World Cup finals knockout stages, and expected to provide at least half of the quarter-finalists this time round too.

It was, perhaps, that naivety that shut the door behind the best football teams Atlantian Oceania has to offer and, in a sadistic, ritual mass-murder, saw them slaughtered in what might well be dubbed 'The Red Wednesday' in due course.

It was ten forty-five in Audioslavia when the mobile phones of football fans started to rumble with the news of an upset in Jhanna. Starblaydia, former five-time world champions, had already held the Paradystopi to a goalless draw in Esportiva and just needed a home win to ensure their place at the top table in the summer. An early goal put them in good stead, but the Horseradish-Botherers weren't going to go down without a fight - not when they were the closest they've ever been to a World Cup finals, anyway, and their second-half reply saw them take the lead of the tie on away goals. Starblaydia, frantic, panicked and increasingly frustrated, bashed on the Paradystopi door but found it merely to be a painting of a door on a particularly effeminately coloured concrete wall. Starblaydia, like their southern neighbours in The Syndicate, were out of the World Cup before it had properly begun.

It was about to get a lot worse for Atlantian Oceania, too.

Farfadillis had been built up as favourites for the world title itself, after sweeping all before them in the Di Bradini and AOCAF Cups in recent years. The first leg of their match with Esportivan stalwarts New Sideburn had been a typically Farf-ish encounter, with ten goals in all and some fierce attacking play from La Vherderoja, and that they came out on the wrong end of a six-four scoreline was possibly simply because the game was only ninety minutes long, rather than a hundred and ten, and the extra ten minutes may well have seen the scoreline go up to seven-each, such was Farfadillis' assuredness in front of goal, and such was the weakness of either defence.

Despite the two-goal disadvantage, the world number nine were still fancied to out-fight New Sideburn on their own turf, and use their considerable volume of away goals to win the tie. They did, in fairness, outplay their Esportivan opposition, but a 3-2 loss put the co-favourites into the Cup of Harmony and, at that moment, all but ensured Esportiva would be out-representing the great AO in the finals - a statistic that was confirmed even before German American States scored their vital extra-time goal against Ko-oren in the early hours of the Audioslavian morning.

Never before has the average Audioslavian man had such a mathematically active morning. After the initial frowns and bewildered glares at the scores section of the morning newspapers, we started to calculate. Pots. Groups. Ranks. And exactly how freakishly strong the Cup of Harmony was going to be.

That Esportiva has nine representatives for the World Cup - well up on last cycle and a distinct change from the embarassing zero representatives in Audioslavia and The Inevitable Syndicate for World Cup Clicketty Click - is a testament to the rapid growth of the region since its humble beginnings. No longer are Apox and Licentia its only hallmark names. Instead, the likes of Felix, Paradystopia and German American States - who so often had their faces pressed against the glass from the outside when the world's greatest sporting tournament was in progress - are to strut their respective stuffs on the world stage, and not too soon either. Die Maschine of the German American States in particular are ones to watch, touted by many to be future world champions. Indeed, Esportiva might have had a full ten representatives had Apox, previously the dominant force of the region, not found themselves unfortunate enough to be drawn with rivals The Licentian Isles and dumped out of the playoffs earlier than the strength of their team deserved.

So, what does it mean? Have Esportiva usurped both Rushmore and AO in becoming the new dominant force in world football? Well... no, not quite.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go into a bout of 'show us your medals' posturing or even mention the number 29. Esportiva have outperformed the rest of the world so far, granted, but any claim of their having taken the delicately balanced AO/Rushmore see-saw and tossed it into a river will have to wait until after World Cup 68 is concluded. I don't think an Esportivan outfit has to win the world cup to necessary propel their teams above those of the rest of the world in the average fan's eyes, but a minimum of two semi-finalists should be the region's aim - it would be expected of the other major sporting regions had they supplied nine or more nations to the World Cup.

True fact remains, of course, that this is not a victory for a region, rather a collection of smaller victories by its respective football sides. Audioslavians weren't exactly reaching for the razor-blades when, just before pub closing time, they found that neighbours Starblaydia had been dumped on their collective porphyric posteriors by Paradystopia - quite the opposite, in fact - and one doubts the Apoxians's first thoughts, when seeing the results, was of warm-hearted congratulations for their cyan and pokemon colleagues. We are, and always will be, thirty-two different teams (Vilita's four-yearly interlope with Turori notwithstanding) with thirty-two different outlooks on which team they want to win the tournament. Even the most AO-proud of Audioslavians would be unlikely to get behind a fellow AO team in a World Cup final if, say, that team was Krytenia.

It is, after all is said and done, an accident of geography that Esportivans have dominated this time round, and although the next edition of the Campionato Esportiva may have a few more neutral eyes on it, it is unlikely that, even if we have an all-Esportiva final come July, the world's best footballers will suddenly find themselves wanting to swap the clubs of Polaria or Paripana for Apox or Paradystopia.

by **Zwangzug** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:38 pm

Where were you, the question might have come, when you heard that Zwangzug lost? When Faulkner's header gave Darmen the lead, when Ruan mustered up the equalizer? When Salapu's cross cut through the midfield, finding Cormio, and Cormio stepped up to score? When Sinapati came on to hold the lead, clearing away McCluey's frantic attempts? When the whistle sounded, what were you doing?

For Olivia, the answer could only be, in the park down the street, meeting Ogechi.

It was the day Ogechi's family had moved in. They'd come by train, one of the big ones from Nuel, past Silvano and the other big suburbs, all the way out to the outer ring that Olivia and her family called home. Ogechi's parents started trying to unpack their stuff, and that morning Olivia's mom had told her that they needed to make breakfast or something to welcome the new neighbors. Olivia was none too optimistic about that; breakfast meant work, rushed even more so, and double that when it failed as it probably would. If there were going to be lots of new neighbors, then even more so.

To her pleasant surprise, her dad told her that she could leave the house and greet the other children, if they wanted to play with her. Her older brother Tim was supposed to stay put. Olivia said that she'd stay put too. It was a little difficult to be stoic, but the thought of Tim having to cook for the new neighbors was a red flag even worse than her mother.

No, said her dad, who turned out to realize that risk as well as she did. Tim needed to stick around, just in case his stupid books came in handy. Tim had a lot of stupid books. Olivia, who was not about to style herself one of the literati, was still impressed that their mom let him keep so many, despite their dad's proclamations that the trash of the outside world was never worth reading and usually blasphemous. At least the historical linguistics were not very sacrilegious, and on the likely chance that their dialect had become isolated from the broader language families of Beldere District, much less the rest of Zwangzug, to say nothing of wherever the new neighbors came from, maybe some quick translation would be useful. Tim claimed it was probably too old to be much use, but stood by anyway.

This left Olivia to the park, where she was joined promptly by Ogechi and her little brothers. Though Ogechi could not have been much older than Olivia herself, she marshalled the younger two around expertly, balancing them on the dilapidated wooden seesaw after scanning it, as if for splinters. Then she climbed up to the slide, hesitated, perching there before slowly sliding down--there was a bit too much friction for a smooth ride.

"I can push on the swings," Olivia offered, in whatever isolated-dialect way she knew. Ogechi hesitated, then at Olivia's gesture, smiled, bringing the boys along.

Ogechi pushed faster, to the obvious glee of that brother and the vague jealousy of the other. Before Olivia could offer to trade off, however, the boys found to their own delight that they could achieve just-as-thrilling results by knocking each other's swings, sideways. Ogechi looked none too pleased at this state of affairs, but nobody seemed to be getting hurt.

In the distance, Olivia thought she could hear voices carrying--bubbling, over-the-top, desperate to show off every inch (there weren't many) of their suburb, clearly her mom. Perfunctory, charitable but distant, that was her father. And then there was a halting, nervous, punctuation--Tim. Maybe that was Ogechi's mom, a bit overwhelmed, trying to take it all in. And her father, perhaps, was concerned, needing to be reassured that there weren't actually any local ordinances regulating what he could wear, read, worship. Theirs was just one of those first-generation cities that dotted Zwangzug, the descendants of some insular believers who'd needed a place to do their own thing, whatever it took. Many of those villages faded away, their descendants scattering to bigger, more cynical cities. A few gradually grew more corrupt, with their inhabitants in search of something purer and more beautiful, founding cities like Nuel. Others, like Olivia's, held on.

When Ogechi brought the football out, Olivia though it must have been one of the boys'; messy, discolored, dragged around who-knew-how far. But they were still delighting themselves on the swings; it must have been Ogechi's after all. "Come on," she urged, nodding at the distant grass.

"I'm no good," said Olivia. There was no goal, no team.

So Ogechi took aim herself, dribbling and bouncing the ball around. To Olivia, every shot was a trick shot, aimed over the swing bars, bouncing off the seesaw, under the slide, as she watched, then eventually found herself retrieving the ball and throwing it back to Ogechi for shot after shot. Soon the two boys were running rings around her. Not with the ball, just running.

And then she'd joined in in spite of herself, maybe without realizing it; Ogechi would dash backwards, daring her to throw it farther, aim more precisely. "Bet you can't kick it between the swings," she said, and of course Olivia could, but maybe Ogechi had known how easy to start the taunts, how to goad her into running faster, trying harder?

They'd tired themselves out by the evening, when Ogechi's parents came back, ready to lead their children back to the stark new house.

"We'll play again," Ogechi promised--"c'mon, you two, what, you have rocks in your shoes?"

"I have chores," said Olivia.

Ogechi tilted her head, as if giving up on the translation. "You'll do better, you'll see."

"If you say so," said Olivia. "You all right?"

"Eh," said Tim, tucking the stupid book back under his arm. "I'm useless."

"There'll be others," said their mom. "But let's go home."

Where were you when you heard that Zwangzug lost? Olivia didn't hear. None of them heard, that day. Their ancestors had not abandoned home, set up the small village, only to be distracted by the outside world's electronic flash. There would be no big screen to gather around, no webcast to moan over. You could make up some excuse about the relativity of simultaneity, or you could merely not care.

But it was a different, shorter, question to ask, simply, where were you when. Not everyone had to know it, not everyone had to care. You might not even have called yourself part of Zwangzug, that moment. But everyone had an answer.

World Cup 68 RP Thread

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