World Cuppet 2 RPs/Rosters/Results

[Polar Islandstates]

BOOM!

That's a cutoff, being dropped.

[Polar Islandstates]

Round of 16
Sixteen Bits 2–0 Alta Moqoexa
Iturributa 1–0 Earent
Zenega 3–3 Ituraitz (4–4 AET) (2–1 pen.)
Aquillian 2–0 Seven Wonders
Chetyav Province 2–1 Prince Bartholomew Islands
Inis na Dún 5–2 Külmsaar and Terra Scotia
Rigerata 6–3 Slovekistan
The Holy Forden Church 2–4 Misrantis


Quarter-Finals
1: Sixteen Bits vs Iturributa
2: Zenega vs Aquillian
3: Chetyav Province vs Inis na Dún
4: Rigerata vs Misrantis


Semi-Finals
1: Winner QF1 vs Winner QF2
2: Winner QF3 vs Winner QF4

[Iturributa]

Antso Erramunez of House Zubioste was not a happy man. Not usually. He was, after all, son of Erramun II, last duke of Iturributa and now an old, frail man who couldn't remember his own children's names. His proud house, once rulers of the second largest city in Astograth and the vast stretches of land surrounding it, now reduced to humiliating exile. Aitor IV, the Usurper's spawn, sitting on their throne. Dark days.

Football was one of the few things that took Antso's mind off everything, that allowed him to relax and stop cursing the Usurper every minute of every day for the past 34 years of his existence. He didn't bother watching the Astograthian national team, of course - those weren't his compatriots. Not all of them, at least. An Astograth Best Eleven, perhaps, but not a proper national team. He much preferred the teams from the Iturributa region, except for the traitors of Royal Association... the Derby between Sporting and United, what a delight! A packed Old City Stadium and top football at least twice a year, often the league's defining moments. He was proud that that, at least, hadn't changed since the national league's establishment.

Alas, it was bittersweet to watch it the games on TV. The same clubs and kits of always, but with new footballers, who didn't know what it meant to live and play in an independent Iturributa. Who weren't even Iturributan, just in it for the money. Foreigners, even. A damned Polarian captaining United and an Ituraitzi skipper for Sporting! Ah, it made him swell with anger.

Thankfully, there was the World Cuppet. Not quite the World Cup, but... almost. Yeah. Almost. Top competition, and they could field a proper Iturributan national team! The FAF made it hard on them, of course, but that just meant the ones who played were the ones willing to go the extra mile, to make sacrifices, to really want to revive the old independent spirit. To see these lads forfeit the glory and prestige of Olibondeka for just one chance to travel to the other side of Rushmore and represent a nation that had officially disappeared before they'd been born... ah, it made him swell with pride!

And the Iturributan Federtaion had invited him! All expenses paid! To the dreary Polar Islandstates, mind, but still. The VIP area was quite comfortable, Rendahl Stadion was quite stunning and live Iturributan football like he hadn't seen since he was a teenager! And ice cream, so much ice cream. Reindeer jerky and the stupid muffins Whatshisface the Important Guy kept shoving in his face he could pass on, but the ice cream was just heavenly. Like the one they sold at that corner shop three blocks from the palace... Antso's eyes got misty, but the teams soon strolled out onto the pitch and it wasn't much of an issue anymore.

Sixteen Bits wore only black-and-white, as did Iturributa in various combinations. How this was solved he didn't quite understand, but his monochrome coat of arms was on eleven men's chests. Like he'd never seen before. Like none of them had ever imagined, 34 years ago, when the Usurper - whose proper name is not worth saying - had taken all they had and would have. He rose from his seat for the anthem, seldomly sung now,and the cameras focused on him. The crowd cheered, a roar unlike any he'd heard from such few thousands. Antso Erramunez of House Zubioste was not a happy man, but he knew then that his people wanted him back. That he be crowned Antso VI of Iturributa.

And he vowed that, one way or another, it would be so.

[Zenega]

Landstadt District Chronicle wrote:
In glorious contrast to their dull final group match, Zenega came out of the blocks on fire in Franz Josef City last night, writes The Chronicle. But after taking a startling 3-0 lead in the first twenty minutes, the Balafons, constantly shooting themselves in the foot with off-field shenanigans, almost shot themselves in the other foot by surrendering that lead as the Ituraitzi forced their way back into contention. The thrills continued through extra time as Zenega once more got their noses in front only to be reigned in by the stubborn Astograthian separatists. It took a round of generally poor penalty kicks to separate them, with Zenega's penalty takers marginally less poor than Ituraitz. Game of the tournament? So far, maybe. But don't bet on it - Zenegalese midfielder Beltane Tougas did just that and once more engulfed the team in controversy, by betting against his own team-mates. An enquiry into his own goal that levelled the game at 3-3 is sure to follow.

"Mother? Mother! It is Ngozi, mother. Can you hear me? No, no, not that Ngozi! Your son, mother, of course! No, no, mother, the second one! Ngozi Mito. I am calling from Polaria. Yes of course on the telephone! Polaria! POLARIA, mother. The Islandstates in the north! Yes! Yes! For the football!

“Still cold, yes Mother, no change up here in the nor -

“Well I have to say the BBC World Service is correct up to a point, Mother, but -

“Oh surely he was betting, he can be a silly boy I say, but let's face it, he -

“Yes, yes, that's right, that is how he plays -

“Well I wouldn't go that far Mother, on the whole -

“No, no, we are not coming home yet, we made it through -

“Yes, we did lose in the quarter-finals last time, but, really, I think we have a chance this time to -

“Mother?”

~~~~~

TOUBA
Sogobe Province

My name is Laverette Izu and I am a man from Hooivelden, in the Botangé Province of Eastern Zenega. I work for Odo Mamelu and his World Famous Travelling Haphazard Bazaar & Provisioner of The News of The Times, although all of these things are a performance more than anything.

Late in the evening on the road to the bright lights of Ouakam, the driver pulled off the road and onto the rough grass, and opened the window at the back of his cab. Odo Malumba and I had been sleeping lightly on the rough and rumbling flat bed of his trailer. The driver told us there was a police checkpoint about two kilometres ahead, and asked us if we wanted to get off here. Odo thought that was a good idea, and thanked the driver by giving him a small blessing, so that he might, in the very near future, find something which he had lost. In turn, the driver aimed us in the direction of the village of Touba, which was off the main road, and we slunk in during the night. When I asked about the police, Odo became very angry, and told me to stop bothering him, and to listen to the radio for a bit. He said we must prepare for a performance of the Haphazard Bazaar and News of The Times for the villagers of Touba, in order to get food and money for our adventure. Of course, he said, I was free to leave at any time, if I was uncomfortable. And although I was indeed a little uncomfortable, I again felt an overwhelming sense of obligation to Odo, on account of that trinket in a tin which he sold to me for a blood shilling. So I did not leave, of course.

In Touba the Haphazard Bazaar was a surprise for the villagers when they came out of their houses, and we did a brisk trade in selling small things all morning. And then in the evening, after our afternoon rest, Odo announced the News of The Times, and featured a great win for the country at the World Cuppet, where the Balafons had advanced past Ituraitz in a thrilling match, with many goals and penalty kicks. The people of the village cheered every goal for Zenega as Odo recounted it, and booed every goal for Ituraitz, and cried with joy when the match was finally won – even though they already knew it from watching it on satellite television. But there was bad news too, that Beltane Tougas had been caught betting against his own team, so that there was cause to re-examine his performances and look for every mistake, every bad pass or missed tackle, to see if he had been playing badly on purpose. Luckily, recounted Odo, the investigators found that in fact Beltane always played that way, so he was given a stern warning to stop gambling, and nothing more. The people of Touba nodded wisely that this seemed just enough.

At the end of the News of The Times, I went with my bowler hat and collected some money, and Odo seemed pleased enough. With a small portion of it he hired a bush tracker to take us around the police check point and onto the road toward Ouakam in the dark, and later we managed to hitch a ride with another travelling show, who seemed pleased to have found Odo.

[Sixteen Bits]

>run: file 661170803-2 
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>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
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>run: subroutine 909564389a
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>file: forwardstory 1/4
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>print to screen: textfile
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[unpre]

Email Transcript

From: Surgeon John Hunter, Sixteen Bits Field Trip, Polar Islandstates
To: Doctor Theodor Seuss Geisel, Neurobiological Research Unit, Miskatonic University
CC: Florence Nightingale, Hassan i Sabbah, Doctor Herbert West, John the Baptist

Subject: Project Cuppet 2

Networked Solid State Drives and Chips in Organic Matter
Human Trials – First report on the Vergenski test specimens

Dr. Seuss,

The networked implants and drives appear to be holding up well, and there is no appreciable decline in synaptic transmissions to the central nervous system or of data interpretation from organic sensory inputs. The team has succeeded in progressing to the Quarter-final Threshold, as projected, without undue concern. The next experiment, an attempt to progress to the next Threshold, will be conducted this evening. The control subject opposition is Iturributa, who in Project Cuppet 1 defeated Sixteen Bits at the next Threshold stage – semi-finals – so this will provide a good marker of overall improvement from the first project.

The Vergenski organic materials have been generally restored to good working order, considering the bodies were not originally of footballers. Some lingering arterial clogging from supporter-based pie and beer diets is proving stubborn to remove, but we remain optimistic. Recovery times between games are improving, but we remain concerned that our preservatives are not adequate to see out this experiment to the Final Threshold, if that can indeed be achieved. We continue to have the spare twelve bodies on standby for emergency thawing.

The Quarter-final Threshold experiment will be conducted later today, between 10pm-12am UTC, and the field team remain cautiously optimistic of a positive outcome.

Yours,

Surgeon Hunter
Project Cuppet 2 Field Team

[/unpre]

>run: file 171381358 
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>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
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>confirmed
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>run: subroutine 956035578a
>loading...
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>checksum=sixteen bits 2-0 alta moqoexa
>generating match report...
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>sixteen bits wins
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>confirmed
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>query: display smily?
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>run: subroutine 689165611
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>print to screen: file 345992123

[unpre]

Jan Mayen Reminder wrote:
OK, no more jokes about mathematics, Sixteen Bits are through to the quarterfinals and gathering momentum reports the Jan Mayen Reminder. Looking to match their run to the semis last time out, it was a confident showing against the Moqos. Tim Berners-Lee in the midfield was in commanding form, and a brace of goals from the impressive Venn Diagram, who overlapped well with Megaflop on the flank (alright, just one little pun - indulge us), saw the Calculators through to a semi-final appointment with destiny: the team that denied them a final place last time around, Iturributa. Should be a classic.

[/unpre]

>confirmed
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[Misrantis]

Misrantis defeat Holy Forden Church - Quarter Finals Await!

After barely advancing from the group stage - their tournament hopes saved only by the foot of the players from the mighty Mto, the feeling in Misrantis was more of relief to be in the knockout stage rather than confidence that they could advance a long way into it. That feeling may take a slight detour now after the fantastic result that Misrantis was able to achieve against the winners of the Group H, the Holy Forden Church.

Akh Ka was the starting goalkeeper for Misrantis in this match. Akh Ka started most of the matches so far and was the most experienced goalkeeper available for Rahman Omer Hilali to select.

It was right away that Hilali was going to start regretting this, because the Holy Forden Church scored in the first few minutes of the match to take the lead.

Luckily, the players of Misrantis did not get dejected. Instead, they got inspired. There was not going to be any help from the Mto River today. Only Ra could be of assistance on this day, and Ra was very present shining on all the players.

In a few minutes more, it was Misrantis, with the help of Ra and the right foot of Mitsur Jhailides who scored the goal, equalizing the match 1-1.

It was back in the game for Hilali's side and they looked like they were taking the upper hand. The next goal would come from Semer Debjit, and this would give Misrantis the 2-1 lead. This was a nice goal, because Mitsunne Konne had made a good run up the side of the field, beating away two players from the Holy Forden Church before snaking inside and laying a nice ball across to Debjit who was able to score past the Holy Forden Goalkeeper.

In the half time, the score was 2-1 for Misrantis, and in the second half, it was exactly the same. Even though Akh Ka did let one more goal score, it was okay, because Misrantis also scored 2 more. The final result was 4-2! Now Misrantis had advanced to the Quarter Final stage.

In the Quarter Final Stage Misrantis is drawn against Regerata. Misrantis has never played Rigerata but they must be careful. Rigerata scored 6 goals in their first knockout round match, when they played Solvekistan.

Coach Rahman Omer Hilali, The Esteemed and Famous, must pull a trick out of his bag to ensure victory and pride for Misrantis.

Rahman Omer Hilali's Bag of Tricks

[Earent]

They played on the same island, which had raised Thaykel's eyebrows. No one discussed it, not even silently, but he'd mentioned early on trying to see how the nidjfoges fared when they were split between different landmasses. The knockout stages, however, would not be the time to test that out.

Looking back, the time to score would have been early on, when Iturributa were still pushing forward and leaving the midfield maybe a hairsbreadth more room than they needed. But that never happened; instead, Munio Baranzano added to his tally with a nineteenth-minute strike.

The defense stiffened up then, but Iturributa didn't give them many opportunities, dominating possession for the rest of the half but not committing. The second half was similar, bar one impressive clearance from Brathis of an Eneko Dicharry attempt.

"So, you ready to go back?" said Doncher.

"Yeah," Teav admitted. "I mean, obviously I'd rather have won, right? But it'll be nice to have decent weather again. And normal food."

"Weather?" Doncher gaped. "And food? I mean, the newspaper people are going to be quizzing you, "you just went abroad, tell us what it was like.""

Teav shrugged, blushing. "I dunno, I play for the first team, I can handle it."

"Teav, this is everybody's first team."

"Yeah, I keep forgetting that part."

Doncher shook his head. "You know, I was going to give you some tips for the interview, but I've changed my mind. It's going to be funnier to watch you handle it on your own."

"Not totally on my own, really..." Teav trailed off as Doncher's tayra came up. The older forward was, again, more adept at blocking out Teav from sensing him than the other way around. "Hey. Hey! What's that all about?"

"Remember a few months ago when I said you were like my little brother?"

"Yeah. And I said that you clearly never had a little brother, you have to be more annoying...Oh, I see."

"I'm just late catching on, that's all."

Teav rolled his eyes. "Shenlake? Hey. Shenlake!"

"What?" Shenlake groused.

"I'm sitting with you on the flight home, Doncher's being a jerk," he smiled.

"Knock it off," Shenlake said immediately.

"Oh, now you're siding with Ms. Ousteeble instead of me?" Doncher teased back. "I see how it is."

"Yeah," Teav nodded. "Yeah. She's my teammate now."

Doncher dropped the tayra, but said "Yeah" aloud so Shenlake could grin too.

[Polar Islandstates]

Apologies for the slightly late cutoff, but here it is...

"Cutoff."

There, see? That wasn't so bad now, was it?

[Polar Islandstates]

Quarter-Finals

Sixteen Bits 2–1 Iturributa
Zenega 3–2 Aquillian
Chetyav Province 2–4 Inis na Dún
Rigerata 0–0 Misrantis (0–0 AET) (7–8 pen.)



Semi-Finals
1: Sixteen Bits vs Zenega
2: Inis na Dún vs Misrantis

[Zenega]

Franz Josef Pantagraph wrote:
It's probably far too soon to suggest the remarkable Altafriquans of Zenega have put all their woes behind them, writes your favourite Pantagraph, but there is no doubt that after another fine performance of attacking abandon last night, the Balafons, making the semi-final for the first time, cannot be written off as mere curiosities. Whatever is going on in the mind (and, indeed, hotel room) of manager Suavé, he has his team playing some swashbuckling football that is all too easy on the eye. And speaking of easy on the eye, turn to page 3 now for those photographs of Suavé and the Polarian showgirls, fresh from the lens of staff snapper Edvin 'The Zoom' Mårtensson...

"Mother? Mother! It is Ngozi, mother. Can you hear me? No, no, not that Ngozi! Your son, mother, of course! No, no, mother, the second one! Ngozi Mito. I am calling from Polaria. Yes of course on the telephone! Polaria! POLARIA, mother. The Islandstates in the north! Yes! Yes! For the football!

“No, no sign of the spring just yet, still very cold -

“Oh dear, oh dear, I was hoping they wouldn't report that on the BBC World Service, it's -

“No, certainly not Mother, well, yes, actually, but not as you may think -

“It was all a terrible misunderstanding and the hotel have been very accom -

“No they haven't thrown us out of the competition, Mother, as a matter of fact we-

“Mother?”

~~~~~

CITÉ SOGOBE
Sogobe Metropolitan District

My name is Laverette Izu and I am a man from Hooivelden, in the Botangé Province of Eastern Zenega. I work for Odo Mamelu and his World Famous Travelling Haphazard Bazaar & Provisioner of The News of The Times, although you may not believe me. But it is true. True, I say!

On the long and peculiar road to Ouakam we took a diversion in Sassoné Mál, where the travelling circus we were riding with was stopped by a lone police officer on an old motorbike, determined to do some spot checks on the vehicles and ask questions of the troope. He was slowly making his way down the line of idling vehicles, still using a faint torch even though the sun was coming up into the sky. Odo watched him intently, and I began to have a bad feeling about our situation, when a dwarf appeared in the bush to one side of the road, and waved for us to quietly follow him. It was one of the tumblers from the circus, and he was being a good friend to Odo. His name was Maximillian Nebe, of Belgique. Maximillian took us through dusty alley ways and past kantines filled with the odours of breakfast, us struggling with our tent and all our things, and not stopping even for coffee. We seemed to meander about for some time in what seemed like only a small town, until, quite tired, Maximillian got us down to the small fishing quay on the Zenega river, where several canoes were tied up. We loaded up one canoe, and tied it to a second, and then Odo climbed in, ordering that I follow. It was not an easy thing for a goat herd to get into a canoe, and I feared I would fall in the Zenega, but Odo and Maximillian encouraged me with curses, and eventually, I plucked up the courage, and despite a wobble, I made it in safely. And then we set off, following the river to Sogobe, and once I had learned to row well, Odo left me to it and fell asleep. I thought about my goats, and breakfast, and wondered many things about Odo. But he just snored away until evening time, when we made it to the outskirts of Sogobe. When he woke up he chastised me for not listening to the BBC World Service, so that we would have some news to sell.

In a quiet district we set up the tent, and we did a very poor performance, where I listened to the radio which was turned very low, and whispered from behind the tent to Odo, and he made something up from what he could hear from me. It was most terrible, I have never felt such a pressure. The news was all aflamed with rumours that Ngosi Mito Suavé, the national football team manager, had been caught in a compromising position with some Polarian hotel workers, and that photographs had appeared splashed all over the local newspapers, so that news of Zenega's surprise victory over Aquillian was thoroughly overshadowed by Ngosi's swinging nakedness. I was not only shocked but so appalled that I could hardly repeat it to Odo, and he getting almost nothing comprehensible from me, resorted to telling an even more shocking tale of debauchery and unbridled pleasure-making. I felt sure we would create a riot. To my eternal surprise the audience let out a great cheer at the end of Odo's ridiculous story, and they practically threw money at me when he sent me on my collections. I was still picking blood shillings off the dusty ground when Odo said he could hear sirens, and as quick as a flash, he struck camp and made off, with me following in his wake, picking up small things that he dropped in his haste. We did not stop running until we got to the Centraal Bus Station, where Odo bought us overnight tickets to Ouakam, and a pair of stale sandwiches from a rusty old machine.

[Sixteen Bits]

>run: file 661170803-2 
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>world cuppet 02 computation
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>generating text...
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>complete
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>print to screen: textfile
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>loading...
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[unpre]

Email Transcript

From: Surgeon John Hunter, Sixteen Bits Field Trip, Polar Islandstates
To: Doctor Theodor Seuss Geisel, Neurobiological Research Unit, Miskatonic University
CC: Florence Nightingale, Hassan i Sabbah, Doctor Herbert West, John the Baptist

Subject: Project Cuppet 2

Networked Solid State Drives and Chips in Organic Matter
Human Trials – First report on the Vergenski test specimens

Dr. Seuss,

The Quarter-final Threshold Experiment was a resounding success! Against the control specimens of Iturributa, where we failed in Project Cuppet 1, we have seen new ground being broken, and a definite improvement in all aspects of signal transmissions, sensory inputs and particularly in spatial and tactical analysis.

On the down side, as I predicted, the preservatives are failing and the organic vessels of dead Vergenski football supporters are become, well, odorous is a mild description. Necrosis is apparent in several specimens, with distinct mould growths, increased putrefaction of biodegradable organs, and in one case, what appears to be a previously unknown species of moss. Five of the eleven starters are now rotten beyond all viable use, and in order to keep the project on track, we have had to defrost replacement vessels. Doctor John Devon Pertwee Who is even now transferring the backed-up data into the new drives for insertion into fresh bodies, and Doctor Josef Mengele's Thousand Year Penance is slopping out. It's quite a mess.

We remain on track to conduct the Semi-final Threshold Experiment tonight, and should we succeed, we will have gone farther than ever before with this project.

Confidently yours,

Surgeon Hunter.
Project Cuppet 2 Field Team

[/unpre]

>run: file 171381358 
>loading...
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>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
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>run: subroutine 956035578a
>loading...
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>checksum=sixteen bits 2–1 iturributa
>generating match report...
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>sixteen bits wins
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>confirmed
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>query: display smily?
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>query return: 
>negative
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>run: subroutine 689165611
>search for media
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>searching...
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>searching...
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>confirmed
>run: subroutine 689165612
>display media
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>print to screen: file 383091386

[unpre]

Rendahl Classified wrote:
Renewing a rivalry from the last Cuppet competition, when Iturributa beat the Calculators in the semi-final, this intriguing pairing provided a rather unusual story, as the competent but tired Sixteen Bits players - remember they did not bring substitutes with them but just eleven starters - marshalled the game well despite appearing, from the Classified's viewing postion the Rendahl Stadion press box, to be carrying a number of skin complaints and infections from previous injuries. Iturributans were seen to complain to the referee about the smell too, but in fact it was the boys in black and white, as opposed to the boys in white and black, who came up smelling of roses. Sixteen Bits have now matched their performance of last year and will look to go all the way if they can overcome traditional allies Zenega tonight.

[/unpre]

>confirmed
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>subroutines complete
>return time: 0.00237333r seconds
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>end

[Misrantis]

Misrantis Survive! A marathon Quarter-Final Matchup

It was one of the most nerve-racking - and exciting matches thus far in the Cuppet, not just for Misrantis but for all teams!

In this match, Misrantis face the Semi-Independent State of Rigerata, an affiliated one of the Sporting Kingdom of Darmen from Rushmore.

The Rigerata national football team may not be the most skilled team in the world, but one would assume they are one of the most cohesive. Every starting player of Rigerata is of the same age group. It likely means that each of the Rigerata players is very familiar with each other, likely having study together, and playing together in the Rigerata system. Indeed, its a good strategy, for team to be very cohesive, and the success has been realized as they have advanced to the Quarter Final to meet the best players of Misrantis.

For the match, Misrantis made a surprising change to the lineup. Akh Ka the goalkeeper who started in the previous match, did not start! Ba Shabaaqo was in the goalkeeper position. On defense, it was more typical, Misrantis had Nynetjer Re, Manetho Acropolises, APis Bakle and Memphica Araomo.

In the midfield, Mitsur Jhailides, Nebti Arrahuni and Perisa Cambyta started, with only 3 midfielders, as Rahman Omer Hliali decided it would be a good idea to try a 4-3-3 formation. Unkiesh Misral, Semer Debjit and Umfali Maraset were the starting forwards.

It was maybe the decisions for this weakened midfield that results in some of the lack of productivity in the match for Misrantis, who were not able to create enough chances for the forwards, because they could not keep enough control in the midfield.

Lucky, however, because there was the four defenders in the back, there was also not muhc for Ba Shabaaqo to do! The Semi-Independent State of Rigerata was also going to have problems creating scoring chances with this format.

In the half time, there was no score. Both teams make a couple of changes, to bring fresh players on the field, but after full time, the score is still the same! No one can score goals in this match, and it is the second match of the 2nd Cuppet to require extra time. The first was the Second round match between Zenega and Ituraitz.

It was no surprise, but indeed, nothing much would change in the added time - both teams struggled to create chances while being nervous at the other end about conceding a goal. It seemed right from the start of added times that both teams played for the penalty session, and one half of an hour later, the penalty session is exactly what this match generated!!

It was an incredible thing, but the Penalty Session was much different than the match. In fact, it was more because neither team was able to generate many chances during the open play of the match, and now, finally, they were getting their chance to take a shot on goal, and the goalkeepers, who have not had much to do in the day before this, perhaps had some iron oxides to shake off.

The first to step up on the kick was the Rigerati players. It was the forward Uzzi against Misrantian goalkeeper Ba Shabaaqo. It was no problem, for Uzzi, who scores the 1-0 goal. Because of the rules, each team will have 5 chances before the outcome of suddenly ending the game will resolve.

In response, Misrantis steps forward with Umfali Maraset, and its also not a problem for Maraset, who scores with 1-1.

In the next two rounds, all players have scored, for Rigerata, it was Jephtha and Yair, while for Misrantis, it was Unkiesh Misral and Memphica Araoma. The score, it was now 3-3 and getting close to a situation of elimination.

In the fourth round, it was incredible, because Ba Shabaaqo actually saved the shot! It was the substitute for Rigerata, Zev, who took the shot, and perhaps the youth of Zev and inexperience as a result is the cause of the poorly placed shot which Ba Shabaaqo was ok to save. It was still 3-3 and Misrantis had the chance for going into the lead.

It was not to be!! Mitsunne Konne, also a substitute, hit the ball so high it may circle Ra at this very moment. Indeed, it did not trouble the Urban goalkeeper for Rigerata, nor will it have troubled any of the fans behind the goal at that altitude!!!

So now, the final players before the elimination - but actually, since it was a tie score, elimination really began in round 5.

For Rigerata, it was the captain, Moshe, who took the shot. It was a goal, now the pressure was going to remain on the players of Misrantis, to equal the task to what the Rigerata had performed - or to go home.

Stepping up for Misrantis was the substitute Rehmay Re Torre. It was no mistake. The score was 4-4!

Two more rounds passed, Round 6 saw Yachin score for Rigerata, and Nynetjer Re for Misrantis. In Round 7, Cleopas scored for Rigerata, and Manetho Acroplises for Misrantis. The score, it was now 6-6.

In Round 8, it was a change, because Rigerata defender Philippos hit the ball against the post and it bounced away. The score was still 6-6 and it was Nebti Arrahuni stepping up for Misrantis. Only needing a goal, to send Misrantis through, Nebti made a mistake, and missed the net to the left. Even still, Urban of Rigerata made a good dive to his right, making it possible, even if Nebti Arrahuni makes the shot on target, it may not have a score. Still the score is 6-6 after 8 rounds.

In Round 9, the same! It was Timaios for Rigerata but Ba Shabaaqo made the save!! It wasn't that hard for Ba, because Timaios hit this shot up the center, and Ba needed only to reach straight up to collect the ball, but it was very exciting for a goalkeeper to be involved. Apis Bakle stepped up with the game at the foot, but Urban, finally makes a save of their own. It was a very good save, palming the ball that appeared destined for the net, over the cross bar, to keep Rigerata in the game. The score remained 6-6 after the 9th round.

In the 10th round, each team was down to their last field player. For Rigerata, it was the substitute defender Tzefanyah. Tzefanyah did not suffer the same fate as earlier youngster Zev, and made the ball into the back of the net, to the dismay of Ba Shabaaqo.

It was now a requirement for Mitsur Jhailides to make a goal from the penalty spot, and lucky for the whole of Misrantis, it was a success. The score now was 7-7 after 10 rounds! It was the longest match ever for Misrantis.

This left the final round before starting it over. Only left, on each side the goalkeepers, Ba Shabaaqo and Urban. It was a showdown!

Stepping up, Urban made an attempt against Ba Shabaaqo, but the humor was in the shot, not the skill. Ba Shabaaqo easily scooped up this attempt and the two goalkeepers switched places for a final showdown.

As Ba Shabaaqo stepped up, with a twist and a turn, fired a slightly better, but still strange looking shot from the center of the penalty area. Urban incredibly made the save and the crowd was in a roar of excitement but the whistle was blowing! - the referree said it was not a legal save, because Urban, the goalkeeper of Rigerata, had progressed forward off the line of the goalkeepers goal, prior to the moment when Ba Shabaaqo struck the kick. It was determined that because of this action, Urban had gained an unfair advantage in the confrontation, aiding the Rigerata goalkeepers ability to stop the shot that Ba Shabaaqo had made.

This meant Ba Shabaaqo was allowed a second attempt. In the second attempt, Urban was glued to the line, and slow to move, and Ba Shabaaqo placed a safe shot with the side of the foot into the corner of the net! Incredible!

It was the goalkeeper, Ba Shabaaqo, who had placed the shot into the net for the sudden elimination of the opposition from Rigerata! The team from Misrantis were going to advance again! It was a moment of great pride for all the Misrantians.



The scribes from Misrantis were already writing the great story (translated above) on the walls of the great city. The citizens of Misrantis, they all watched, reliving the story each time another scribe artisticly presented on a new section of the city, this incredibly occasion. The name of Ba Shabaaqo! It was now heralded for the achievement of the day - the substitute goalkeeper given a chance to start had made such an impression.

Each scribe added their own twist to the story, which evolved throughout the night with each save - and each goal - sounding even more incredible with every interpretation.

The job was not done, however. With the victory, the incredible job by Rahman Omer Hilali to lead this team of the finest athletes in Misrantis, to the Semi-Final stage, the Misrantians would have the honor to face the team of Inis Na Dun! The Misrantians know much of Inis Na Dun, a nation surviving after a crisis of Sorthern Northland that threatened the way of life for many, but both the Misrantians, and the Inish, survived and will meet in a clash for what may become a great rivalry between Island based Civilizations in the Atlantian Oceania.

No one knows, how will Rahman Omer Hilali approach the match against the Inish team - but one thing is for certainties, if the team plays as well as the scribes back in Misrantis are saying they will have played against Rigerata - it will be tough to realize a defeat in the match of the Semi Final.

[Polar Islandstates]

Penultimate Cutoff time!

Penultimutoff?

[Polar Islandstates]

Semi Finals
Sixteen Bits 1–3 Zenega
Inis na Dún 1–2 Misrantis

THEREFORE

TPPO:
Sixteen Bits vs Inis na Dún

FINAL:
Zenega vs Misrantis

[Zenega]

St.Paul Codwrapper wrote:
There was a full house at the Millerntor Arena last night for a classic semi-final match in the World Cuppet, writes the Codwrapper. Among the spectators was new Zenegalese Prime Minister de Cruz who rumour has it flew in personally to take charge of team affairs following a string of incidents of mismanagement by hapless coach Ngosi Mito Suavé. He may have picked the team, but the Prime Minister was in the stands and it was Suavé who, to his credit, orchestrated a fine Zenegalese performance from his place in the technical area. The Balafons have won hearts and minds across the Islands with their brand of Haphazard football, but can they win the Cuppet? The bigger question may be who are the players looking to for inspiration, the chaotic but somehow likeable buffoon Suavé, or the charismatic poet and Marxist de Cruz? Only time, and one final match, will tell.

"Mother? Mother! It is Ngozi, mother. Can you hear me? No, no, not that Ngozi! Your son, mother, of course! No, no, mother, the second one! Ngozi Mito. I am calling from Polaria. Yes of course on the telephone! Polaria! POLARIA, mother. The Islandstates in the north! Yes! Yes! For the football!

“The weather is fine but cold, but I have something to tell -

“No it is not about me moving out of the house, why would I do -

“No, Mother, it is not about marrying Adaku, what on earth made you ask -

“I had not heard about that, no, but it can't be me, I -

“Yes, yes, Prime Minister da Cruz-Returning did come to see me but it's not that -

“Of course, you heard it on the BBC World Service, so of course it is true but -

“No, mother, I am not in trouble again, wait what do you mean, ag -

“I will tell you if you just let me fin -

“Of course, you are right Mother, I am yammering on something -

“Yes, yes, I will get to the poi -

“We won, Mother, we are in the f -

“Mother?”

~~~~~

RUE VOLLEZELE
Cité Ouakam
Vollezele District

My name is Laverette Izu and I am a man from Hooivelden, in the Botangé Province of Eastern Zenega. I work for Odo Mamelu and his World Famous Travelling Haphazard Bazaar & Provisioner of The News of The Times, although I know it looks for all the world that I am Odo himself. But I am not! I am a goat herd, that is all.

Overnight Odo and I came to the grand city of Ouakam on the shore of the Wight Ocean, where there is a great harbour and many shining lights. We arrived on the night-bus from Sogobe Centraal, with all our things tied to the roof. It was the stopping bus that takes six hours when only one should do, because it visits all the settlements off the track, apparently at the whim of the driver. We arrived just in time for breakfast, but Odo said we had important business to attend first, and by-an-by, we missed breakfast altogether. In Ouakam we took the city bus to Vollezele, a part of town, so Odo told me, where the docks are to be found and where the famous Tamarindian shipping company, CisneLine, had a small office. Odo made me wait outside while he went in to do some important business or other, and told me to listen to the radio just in case we needed to do a performance of the News of The Times at some point. And indeed we did. For soon Odo was out of the office, and cursing his luck, telling me we needed some money quick, and to set up the rig for the Haphazard Bazaar. We found a convenient place on Rue Vollezele, near the market, and I went off with my hooter and my bicycle bell to round up an audience. Let me tell you we did a very brisk trade in small things that morning, and a lot of blood shillings were handed over. Odo even bought me lunch – gammon, eggs and sausage – from a market stall. While I enjoyed my dinner he went back to the shipping company, on some very important business. What was it? I do not know for sure, but if I was to guess, perhaps he was arranging for a cargo of small things, so that he could sell them in the Haphazard Bazaar.

That evening, flush with our success, we put on a performance of the News of The Times, and Odo had the crowd in ecstasy with the news that Zenega was in the final of the World Cuppet, after a mighty victory in the Polar Islandstates against the bits of sixteen. And the result was put down to the beloved leader of our people, Prime Minister Viriato Clemente da Cruz-Returning, who had personally gone to see the manager Suavé, and given him some advice on how to correctly manage team affairs. The crowd on Rue Vollezele applauded his great wisdom, for it had worked a treat. At the end of the show, Odo told me to get out and collect some shillings, and he patted me on the back, and told me I had earned a promotion. As I left the tent, he gave me his badge, so that now I was wearing the badge that said “Hello, my name is Odo Malumba” and I was very proud. It was the last I ever saw of Odo. When I got back to the rig with a hat full of shillings, he was gone, and a policeman was inspecting the inside of our old punch & judy get-up.

[Sixteen Bits]

>run: file 661170803-2 
>loading...
>
>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
>
>confirmed
>
>run: subroutine 863815524a
>loading...
>
>file: forwardstory 3/4
>generating text...
>
>complete
>
>run: subroutine 863815524b
>
>print to screen: textfile
>forwardstory 3/4
>loading...
>

[unpre]

Email Transcript

From: Surgeon John Hunter, Sixteen Bits Field Trip, Polar Islandstates
To: Doctor Theodor Seuss Geisel, Neurobiological Research Unit, Miskatonic University
CC: Florence Nightingale, Hassan i Sabbah, Doctor Herbert West, John the Baptist

Subject: Project Cuppet 2

Networked Solid State Drives and Chips in Organic Matter
Human Trials – First report on the Vergenski test specimens

Dr. Seuss,

Alas, we have failed again to deliver a Cuppet Project past the Semi-Final Threshold, at the second attempt. We are currently analysing the black box match recorders of each organic vessel to establish the exact nature of the failure. Early indications suggest that the analytics system was in some way deficient and unable to accurately decrypt the haphazard tactical devices used by the control specimens from Zenega, while processors and transmissions appear to have remained at full capacity throughout, which is encouraging. I also feel that if we are to make a third Cuppet project – which I would strongly recommend – then we must investigate our use of preservatives, which most certainly compromised if not the matchplay then certainly the support team who had to work extra hard to keep the organic Vergenski matter viable for the duration. If we had made the Final Threshold, I believe we may even then have run out of fresh matter in which to house the network systems.

On the positive front I can confirm that we will be attempting a final experiment tonight, the Threshold for Processors in Putrefied Organisms or TPPO against the Inis na Dún control specimens. Furthermore, while we will be disposing of the organic matter according to agreed protocols off one of the barges in Bjarnarey after the experiment, we have taken some samples of the unusual moss we have noticed growing on the bodies and will bring them back for analysis at the Botanical Laboratory – Doctor Pertwee-Who is quite convinced this is an hitherto undiscovered species.

In regard to your encrypted message about imitators, we can confirm that we are aware this type of thing is happening in Kukalaya. We look on with bemusement.

Disappointedly yours,

Surgeon Hunter.
Project Cuppet 2 Field Team

[/unpre]

>run: file 171381358 
>loading...
>
>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
>
>confirmed
>
>run: subroutine 956035578a
>loading...
>
>checksum=sixteen bits 1-3 zenega
>generating match report...
>
>sixteen bits loses
>
>confirmed
>
>query: display sadface?
>
>query return: 
>negative
>
>
>run: subroutine 689165611
>search for media
>
>searching...
>
>searching...
>
>confirmed
>run: subroutine 689165612
>display media
>
>print to screen: file 568256559

[unpre]

St.Paul Codwrapper wrote:
There was a full house at the Millerntor Arena last night for a classic semi-final match in the World Cuppet, writes the Codwrapper. Among the spectators was new Zenegalese Prime Minister de Cruz who rumour has it flew in personally to take charge of team affairs following a string of incidents of mismanagement by hapless coach Ngosi Mito Suavé. He may have picked the team, but the Prime Minister was in the stands and it was Suavé who, to his credit, orchestrated a fine Zenegalese performance from his place in the technical area. The Balafons have won hearts and minds across the Islands with their brand of Haphazard football, but can they win the Cuppet? The bigger question may be who are the players looking to for inspiration, the chaotic but somehow likeable buffoon Suavé, or the charismatic poet and Marxist de Cruz? Only time, and one final match, will tell.

[/unpre]

>confirmed
>
>subroutines complete
>return time: 0.00237333r seconds
>
>end

[Misrantis]

Misrantis Will Advance to play in the Final Match!

After the exciting match against Rigerata in the Quarter Final, which went scoreless for 120 minutes before Misrantis advance to the next round on penalty kicks through Ba Sabaaqo.

The prize for this great victory? Misrantis advanced to the Semi Finals where they have now played the rival team, Inis na Dún, from Atlantian Oceania.

Its not just the rival team, Inis na Dún, from Atlantian Oceania, however. Its also the team, Inis na Dún, that was the champions defending the title of World Cuppet 1. Clearly the best team, most experienced and the competition favorites, the odds began looking low for Misrantis before the match had begun.

In Misrantis, the docks were empty and the gardens left to themselves as the citizens gathered for updates on their teams performances in the most important sporting match in the history of the mystery.

Vessels in Misrantis were tied up and ignored for a time while the match was preparing to start, and during the match

In the day of the match, there could be no selection for Misrantis, outside of Ba Sabaaqo. If Rahman Omer Hilali selects Akh Ka, and the Misrantians are defeated by the Inish, then it will be the fault of the Esteemed and Famous Hilali, certainly, and no other.

So there is no surprise, when Ba Sabaaqo walks out as the goalkeeper for the match.

Indeed, much of the team will look the same as it did for the great match against Rigerata, In fact, the same.

It will need more effort, although the tales of the match against Rigerata talk of the bravery, strength, skill and magical empowerment shown by the Misrantian players during the historic match, the truth is, they couldn't break through and get a chance on the net from open play, and playing the defending champion Inis na Dun, that would not be sufficient to advance from the Semi-Final stage.

In preparation for this match, the Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali had a plan. Instead of waiting, like many teams do, to use the substitutions in the second half. Hilali decided to see - what happened, if the substitutions come in the first half?

Hilali instructed Mitsunne Konne and Rehmay Re Torre to be prepared the night before - for he had a plan. Also in the discussion, Perisa Cambyta and Umfali Maraset. They would be the ones coming off.

It was a good plan, Hilali thought. Cambyta and Maraset could play really hard for 30 minutes - they knew they would be coming off. They knew they didn't have to save their energy.

Meanwhile, Mitsunne Konne and Rehmay Re Torre could also play really hard once they came on - because, well, it was only going to be 15 minutes and then they would get a 15 minute break!

With their orders set, the players took the field.

Much the favorites were Inis Na Dun, the defending Cuppet champions, but the Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali had taken something else from the ever-growing - or shrinking? bag containing his tricks.

This trick, it would be the perfect one.

Within 10 minutes, Misrantis had the lead! It was an incredible thing, and of course, it was going to be Umfali Maraset as the goalscorer. Instead of trying to pace out for a 90 minute match, and 'get a feel for the game' like the Inish players were doing, Maraset was a Misrantian on a Mission, fighting to the last blade of grass for every ball and working into positions that a player with another 80 minutes of playing time required of them wouldn't bother attempting to do.

Maraset found the space and found the ball scoring past Trefararfordir Celtic and Inish National Team goalkeeper Jordan Mason.

After the 30 minutes, Hilali, has planned, took out his bag of tricks and sent Mitsunne Konne and Rehmay Re Torre onto the pitch. Sure enough, this dust of this trick materialized and became another goal for the Mystery of Misrantis! The Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali was becoming more esteemed, and more famous by the minute! It was the effort of Mitsunne Konne in the midfield, out pacing and out fighting all the tired players and finding a streaking Rehmay Re Torre who became the goalscorer. Just like that, this little team of Misrantis brings Pride back once again to the citizens with a 2-0 lead at the half time against the defending champions of the Cuppet!

In the second half, it was a little more difficult for Misrantis. With the lead of two goals over the Inish team, the Misrantians started a little bit to deviate from the plan that the Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali had set forward for them. The players didn't want to make a mistake and give up something to Inis na Dún. Because of this, they weren't trying the same cunning passes like they had in the beginning. They weren't playing with the dust from the bag of tricks.

The safe play, slowed the game down, but also invited more pressure from the Inish team. The pressure caused a mistake in the minute 70 when Inish forward Dáithi Mac Guagáin was able to score a goal past Ba Sabaaqo. It made the score 2-1 and it was time for the Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali to take one last look inside the bag of tricks.

Inside the bag, Hilali found Reahnk Maiore. A midfielder, Maiore had not played much during this Cuppet but The Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali decided that Maiore was exactly the player that was needed for this situation. Reahnk Maiore replaced the forward Semer Debjit and moved into a holding role which changed the look of the Misrantian team. What this did, however, was allow the Misrantians to be a little more confident in Midfield, with more options and more support.

This would end up as an important point in the match, with the introduction of Reahnk Maiore, Ba Shabaaqo was not to be troubled again, because the Misrantians did a very good job keeping the ball from the dangerous situations that the Inish team might have been able to capitalize on.

In the moments, the final whistle would blow and it was a day of great pride, incredible pride, for the players, the citizens and the overlookers of Misrantis - the great squad led by The Esteemed and Famous Rahman Omer Hilali was going to the final match of the World Cuppet 2!




The great overlooker has pride in the accomplishments of the Misrantian team, however, success is measured in your latest accomplishment, and the great overlooker will know that celebrations of this latests accomplishment must not impede the ability to focus on the next task, the World Cuppet 2 final against the peoples of the Wightling Commonwealth of Zenega.

[Misrantis]

Prior to the match, back in the Mystery of Misrantis, a special gathering was held in support of the team.

The people gathered and offered good spirits to the team - the players and coaches in the Polar IslandStates preparing for a clash with Zenega for the title of champions of the second World Cuppet.



The leaders addressed the people, and explained the tough task that the Misrantians had ahead of them.

The Wightling Commonwealth of Zenega has more experience than the team from the Mystery of Misrantis, explained the leaders. Zenega have competed in the first World Cuppet, and qualified to the Quarter Final stage before being eliminated. So, like Misrantis, it is the first appearance for Zenega in the tournament's final match. The advantages that Zenega might have had previously in their experience of the knockout stage in the Cuppet competition is probably no longer relevant. Both Misrantis and Zenega qualified for, and won their first Semi-Final matches in the previous round.

Both teams will also be confident, should the match go to Extra Time. In fact, the leaders explained, the only two matches of the entire cuppet to go to extra time - and a shootout from the location of the penalty spot - contained Zenega or Misrantis. Of course, the Misrantians, on the success of Ba Shabaaqo, won the exciting 8-7 penalty shootout against Rigerata. For Zenega, they defeated Ituraitz in a match that was exactly the opposite. Zenega and Ituraitz used all of their goals in open play, 4-4 after extra time. However, when it came to the penalty shootout, the players could not find the back of the net, and Zenega was victorious by a rare scoreline of just 2-1 on penalties.

The leaders believed, this would give the players of the Mystery of Misrantis the advantage, should they be able to at least hold the score level for the duration of the match, much as they did against Rigerata.

The leaders also wanted to caution the citizens, that, while achieving a place in the final was a moment of great pride for the Mystery of Misrantis, the people of Misrantis do not settle for the glories of past accomplishments when a future accomplishment awaits them. The team will be judged on their performance in the Final independently of their performances in the matches prior to that, knowing that those matches have already brought great pride to the whole of Misrantis.

The people spent a long night offering good spirits to the players in the Polar IslandStates. Many fell asleep where they rest, and many would wake up on the morning of the match with no desire to depart the gathering locations, where updates of the all important final match will be distributed to the people.

[Polar Islandstates]

With apologies for how ridiculously late this cutoff is, let's find out who your winners are!

[Polar Islandstates]

TPPO
Sixteen Bits 2–2 Inis na Dún (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)




Final
Zenega 2–2 Misrantis (3–2 AET)


CONGRATULATIONS to ZENEGA!
Comisserations go to Misrantis, who despite a fine and commendable run, just lost out in that extra half hour in the final.
Thanks to everyone for competing, and I'll see you in two cycles time for Cuppet 3, which may or may not see its hosting outsourced, we'll see. Thanks again!
(Yous lot really liked your dramatic scorelines this cycle...)

[Sixteen Bits]

>run: file 661170803-2 
>loading...
>
>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
>
>confirmed
>
>run: subroutine 863815544a
>loading...
>
>file: forwardstory 4/4
>generating text...
>
>complete
>
>run: subroutine 863815544b
>
>print to screen: textfile
>forwardstory 4/4
>loading...
>

[unpre]

Email Transcript

From: Surgeon John Hunter, Sixteen Bits Field Trip, Polar Islandstates
To: Doctor Theodor Seuss Geisel, Neurobiological Research Unit, Miskatonic University
CC: Florence Nightingale, Hassan i Sabbah, Doctor Herbert West, John the Baptist

Subject: Project Cuppet 2

Networked Solid State Drives and Chips in Organic Matter
Human Trials – First report on the Vergenski test specimens

Dr. Seuss,

Sadly our TPPO experiment was another failure, and we return home from the project in the exact same position as last time. The whole team is a little disheartened, even the irrepressible Doctor Pertwee-Who. We will of course do the full analysis of the failures once we are back in the comfortable surround of the labs at MIU, but I am confident we can do better, and should continue to plan for Cuppet Project 3, with new specimens. Some tinkering with the preservatives will be necessary, and I think that third generation processors must have a greater command of the linguistic aspects of communication. It may be time to consider the controversial move of reprogramming in a different language with more flexible syntax and fewer little arrows down the left hand side of the printouts.

The bodies of 21 Vergenski have been disposed of under the barges in Bjarnarey, according to agreed protocols, and two which were not defrosted are being brought back for the Cloning School to work with. We also have our moss samples, which seem to be thriving in the nano cube tank we have jerry-rigged for the home trip, I think the Botanical chaps will be delighted with it. Finally, just so that you are prepared for it, several of the slave-processors retrieved from the bodies before we dumped them have indicated through our interfacing system that they are interested in continuing to play football in organic vessels, and have suggested making an application to the Miskatonic FA to get a club in the Haphazard Foundation league next season. Perhaps an opportunity to practice ahead of Cuppet Project 3?

Yours,

Surgeon Hunter.
Project Cuppet 2 Field Team

[/unpre]

>run: file 171381358 
>loading...
>
>{bold}the calculation of sixteen bits
>world cuppet 02 computation
>
>confirmed
>
>run: subroutine 956035578a
>loading...
>
>checksum=sixteen bits 2–2 inis na dún (2–2 aet) (4–5 pen.)
>generating match report...
>
>sixteen bits loses
>
>confirmed
>
>query: display sadface?
>
>query return: 
>negative
>
>
>run: subroutine 689165611
>search for media
>
>searching...
>
>searching...
>
>confirmed
>run: subroutine 689165612
>display media
>
>print to screen: file 56423158435

[unpre]

Bjarnarey Floater wrote:
Inis na Dún may have been deposed as Cuppet Champions but the disappointed Inish were not going to done out of a medal of some sort, and ensured a second consecutive fourth-placed finish for the Calculators, writes the Floater. Just like last time, Sixteen Bits looked a little short on energy in the later stages of the competition and although they saw through 120 minutes it was by a huge slice of luck rather than judgement, being outplayed for the entire game. In the end, justice was done and Inis na Dún took the shoot-out to earn themselves third place and probably keep themselves top of the rankings for small states and sub-national regional entities.

[/unpre]

>confirmed
>
>subroutines complete
>return time: 0.00237333r seconds
>
>end

[Zenega]

Franz Josef Pantagraph wrote:
The Nasjionale Stadion once more played host to the World Cuppet Final and we Polarians certainly showed the wide world of minor states and sub-national breakaway nations that we care about the small-fry as well as the big fish, by packing out the ground in an impressive show of appreciation for the little people of the sport, writes the Pantagraph. And in return we got a thrilling display of attacking football from a pair of backwater nation states. It is difficult to know who to be more surprised about here, the new kids on the block Misrantis storming to the final with a win over the reigning champions on the way, or the more experienced but highly volatile Zenegalese with their inevitable off-the-field dramas. In the end it was a smattering of experience that perhaps won the day for the Balafons, and the crowd certainly enjoyed the spectacle - three especially: stray Zenegalese footballers Bocandé (who is hoping to become an Astograthian national and play in the World Cup), Yobanna (who has been in hiding from his Polarian lower league club Franz Josef Young Boys and has now been released from his contract after the intervention of the Prime Minister of Zenega) and Wansin (who was apparently holed up with exiled Dictator Theroux Chukwemoge and has mysteriously lost an arm) - all three were together at the game to support their country and must've been delighted with the unlikely outcome: Zenega are World Cuppet Champions.

"Mother? Mother! It is Ngozi, mother. Can you hear me? No, no, not that Ngozi! Your son, mother, of course! No, no, mother, the second one! Ngozi Mito. I am calling from Polaria. Yes of course on the telephone! Polaria! POLARIA, mother. The Islandstates in the north! Yes! Yes! For the football!

“Who cares about the weather, we -

“Well, I suppose you do, the important thing is we -

“Yes, the BBC World Service are quite correct about Wansin, but -

“Yes, yes and Okeke, thanks to the Prime Minister, but -

“Mother, I must tell you -

“No, no, I don't think I will be spared the sack, unless -

“Well I wouldn't say 'shame' is quite the right word but -

“Mother, I have some -

“MOTHER! For the love of the hairy river dolphin! Will you shut up for one minute and let me get a word in edgeways. We won the Cuppet, Mother! We are WORLD CHAMPION of small nations and sub-regional entities!

“Mother?”

~~~~~

THE YARD
Ouakam Metropolitan Police Force
Cité Ouakam

I tell you, my name is Laverette Izu and I am a man from Hooivelden, in the Botangé Province of Eastern Zenega. Or rather, it is Chijioke, but Odo renamed me Leverette. I work for Odo Mamelu and his World Famous Travelling Haphazard Bazaar & Provisioner of The News of The Times, although really I am just a goat herd. I know it looks for all the world that I am Odo himself and the Haphazard Bizarre is my going concern. But I am not! I was just wearing the badge, is all!

I do not know what became of the real Odo Mamelu after I was arrested by the Polisi. I imagine he is even now on a Tamarindian cargo ship of CisneLine, bound for Mision City or Esquipulas in Kukalaya, or even to the Polar Islandstates where our deposed dictator Cannibal Theroux has been granted asylum. The police officer took one look at me, with my hat full of money and my badge which said, Hello, my name is Odo, and arrested me on the spot for murder. Murder! Of course, I scoffed at the suggestion, being both surprised and horrified, and tried to debate the matter with the officer, but he sprayed CS gas in my face and then battered me across the back of my knees with his night-stick by way of riposte. Later I discovered that Officer Mboma was not much for debating, unless it were with a stick or a tazer. And he did not believe that I was Leverette, which is hardly surprising. For back in Hooivelden they found a broken body, after the Hapazard Bazaar had left town, and on it was a badge, that said, hello, my name is Leverette. Now, said Officer Mboma, he was partially buried, out in the bush, near where the goats are kept, and nearby was a piece of a trinket, all shiny and bright, and did it not fit precisely with such a thing that I had on my person, in a little tin numbered 2323. Where, demanded the policeman, had I hidden the body of the goatherd Chijioke? He did not want to hear that I was the goatherd, and many times he muttered 'damn you, Mamelu' before bashing me senseless.

Imagine my joy when after many hours of detention and five black eyes, Officer Mboma came to see me to explain that they had sent word to the Botangé Province Rangers, who were the police force thereabouts, to check out my story, and had brought back to Ouakam the brother of Chijioke who was called Banda, to identify the prisoner, once and for all. Officer Mboma gave me a bowl of hot water and some towel, and ordered me to clean myself up. By-and-by, I was brought to another room in the police station, and given a cup of coffee, and when it was finished, they brought my brother to see me. There were tears of joy in my eyes, which turned to tears of pain when he hugged me. “Banda, Banda,” I said, “do not squeeze me so hard, I have three broken ribs at least!” and he let me go. Banda confirmed to Officer Mboma that I was indeed Chijioke, the goatherd of Hooivelden. Then the officer took me to another room, to get my things, I thought. But he sat me down at a table, and he put on the table a badge, that said, hello, my name is Odo.

“You were wearing this when I apprehended you, Chijioke.” I nodded.

“Then tell me, and no more lies, bush-vermin, what have you done with the body of Odo Mamelu?”