Games of the IX Olympiad: RP/IC

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:46 am

Welcome to the Kytler Peninsulae for the Games of the IX Olympiad

These are undoubtedly unique Olympic Games. For the first time, the hosting credit is shared between two cities - the purpose-built Kytlerian capital Zube (it's pronounced "ZOO-buh,") and the historic port city of Kytler Bay City, locally referred to simply as "Bay City." Additionally, several sports will take place in or around Aardswood, a smaller port just north of Bay City. Below is a map of the area covering Zube and Bay City, with venue locations noted.

This area is known locally as the Eastern Corridor; this was once just a few kilometres wide, hemmed in by the border with Albundania, but as that nation has since ceased to exist the border has moved east. Most of this area is actually urbanised, but shows up as green on this map for clarity. For broader context, here's the map of Rushmore - big picture file, 2.9MB - with The Kytler Peninsulae near the middle.

Both are quite different on the ground. Bay City is filled with traditional redbrick buildings, the legacy of a colonial past dominated by often illicit sea trade. (The drug trade never ended, but much of it is in the legal RPDs - Recognised Peformance Drugs, legal performance-enhancing substances whose use is not only legal but encouraged in international sport - of RP-inin and Verbosita.*) Zube is still a sparkling new city, even if it's now somewhat established, and is notable for its pale grey roads and light-coloured roofs. This was designed to maximise heat reflection, minimising demand for air conditioning in the consistently warm (though not typically oppressively hot) Kytlerian climate; it has also earned Zube the nickname "Snowflake City" for its aerial appearance, which is likely to be immortalised in all manner of glossy pre-Games media previews.

There are multiple transportation routes between the two cities, which are around 50km apart. The fastest, however, is a newly-built Maglev line from Zube Airport to a new terminus outside the Bay City Olympic Park. Trains leave every 15 minutes, calling at Zube Olympic Park and Zube Centrepoint (which, as the name suggests, is in the city centre), and take 26 minutes between the two termini - and just 13 minutes from Zube Centrepoint to Bay City. Traditional railway lines run between the two cities as well, and this is also the way to get to Aardswood - fast trains from Bay City take under 15 minutes to get there, suburban stopping trains will take nearer 30. Trains from Zube will take between 45 and 60 minutes to get to both Aardswood and Bay City, depending on their route and how often they stop to serve local Eastern Corridor stations. Both Zube and Bay City also have underground railway systems (the ZUR - Zube Underground Railway - and the Bay City Subway), and all Olympic venues in these cities are close to an underground station.

As a general rule, water sports and combat sports take place in Bay City, sports that are difficult to stage in major cities take place in Aardswood, and everything else (mostly athletics and team sports) is in Zube.

The Games take place in the Kytlerian summer, and daytime peak temperatures will generally be at least 25C (potentially rising to above 30C on occasion), with overnight lows around 15C. Humidity will typically be moderate, but isolated thunderstorms are always possible. Expect a few wet days in the Olympics, but probably only a few.

Zube Olympic Park: Donaldson Park

In addition to green space in the central administrative area of the city, the urban planners responsible for Zube also created two large parks on the outskirts: Legacy Park to the south, close to the historic Jamison Farmhouse - where the Zube Agreement, which formed the basis of the modern Kytlerian nation, was signed - and Donaldson Park, named after one of the initial signatories of the Zube Agreement, to the north-east close to the airport. Donaldson Park was immediately conceived of as the hub of Kytlerian sport; the national stadium was built on its southern outskirts, along with the requisite transportation infrastructure. Several years later, a smaller venue, Donaldson Diamond (later given a sponsored name which has been temporarily removed for these Games), was constructed, primarily as a baseball stadium (and accordingly with most of its seating in an L-shape form), then later a popular venue for lacrosse and Babbageball. (The former will be a demonstration event at these Games, as will baseball and softball; these will take place at the Diamond.) Any Kytlerian bid for the Olympic Games was always going to feature Donaldson Park as the Olympic Park - or as one of them, as it turned out.

For these Games, Zube Olympic Stadium (as it is now known) has been expanded with an additional tier and new roof atop the previous three-tier design, most notable for having a gap in the middle tier - propped up by pillars - around each curved section of the oval design. Temporary seating will fill most of the gap around the top bend (immediately before the home straight of the athletics track) and part of the gap around the bottom bend; the remaining gap on the bottom bend will be used for the Olympic flame and for a display of the flags of the participating nations. Besides track and field athletics, the stadium will also hold the rugby sevens demonstration event, and the main part of both opening and closing ceremonies - though both will also feature a section in Bay City.

Additional practice fields around Donaldson Diamond will have temporary seating around them, allowing their use for field hockey (the Diamond itself, with its capacity of over 20,000, will be used for the semi-finals and medal matches). Similarly, existing tennis courts on the eastern edge of the park have been expanded into the National Tennis Centre, which will also be an Olympic venue. Meanwhile, an open grassy area on the northern edge of the park will be used as a temporary venue for archery.

There are two other main venues in Zube Olympic Park; the Zube Velodrome, a track cycling venue with an adjacent temporary track for BMX; and a temporary building known as "The Hangar," formed of multiple prefabricated "cells" that will host handball and basketball games. Media facilities will also be built into The Hangar.

The Zube Olympic Village has been built in a "development zone" immediately to the south of Donaldson Park, much of which was previously marshland.

There are ZUR stations at each end of Donaldson Park - the southern station is the one referred to as Donaldson Park, and links to the heavy rail and Maglev stations. The northern station is Donaldson Park North - imaginative naming is no match for functional naming - and you'll want this if you're heading for the archery or tennis.

Other Zube venues: Qizin Studios, Kytlerian Indoor Arena, and Jamison Expo Centre

Qizin Studios, located between Donaldson Park and Zube International Airport, is the largest independent television studio complex in the country, perhaps best known for its production of game shows. The entire complex will be dedicated to Olympic use during the Games - Studios 1-4 being used for table tennis, Studios 5 and 6 being dedicated to the host broadcaster NBO, and Studios 7-15 being available for international broadcasters. Nearest ZUR station is Hedenworth Park, 350m away; nearest heavy rail station is Qizin South, 400m away.

The Kytlerian Indoor Arena - a newly-constructed venue that has had its naming rights bought out by an anonymous philanthropist - is the largest of its kind in the country, and its high ceilings make it ideally suited for the gymnastics events. It will also stage the basketball semi-finals and medal games. It is situated to the south of the Olympic Village, 2km from the Olympic Park, and has its own ZUR station.

The Jamison Expo Centre is just to the south of the city centre, within walking distance (1.5km) of Zube Centrepoint station (it also has its own ZUR station). The city's main venue for conventions and major business events, for these Games it will be transformed into a modular venue for badminton and indoor volleyball.

Bay City Olympic Park: Carva Dock

Carva Dock was once the second largest of several docks in Bay City - then a thriving port, Rushmore's "gateway to the east," its sheltered location making it the preferred port for many smaller exporters to the once-thriving nation of Albundania. Many of these exports, however, tended towards the illicit or dangerous - in particular, Bay City was a haven for the drugs trade, fuelled in part by an almost non-existent government. A wave of immigration to the south of Bay City - fuelled initially by a flight from the collapsing Atlantian Oceanian nation of Vircais, and latterly by a dash for uranium that sparked violence against the local indigenous population - created the conditions for the eventual creation of the modern-day Kytlerian nation, one that would latterly expand eastwards as Albundania experienced its own collapse.

The Bay City docks have since moved along the bay's edge to the southern outskirts of the city; Carva Dock was the last of the old central docks to close, and being the furthest away from the city centre, was not a priority for redevelopment. The Olympic bid was seen as a unique opportunity for large-scale urban regeneration, and it was this possibility - as well as the recognition that Zube could not realistically stage the Games single-handedly - that led to the joint Zube-Bay City bid.

Pivotal to the redevelopment of Carva Dock into the Bay City Olympic Park was, paradoxically, its extension. Strips of land now jut out more than 2km out to sea, creating both the land for the Bay City Olympic Village and a sheltered lake (Carva Lake) for rowing and flatwater (sprint) canoeing. The marathon swimming will also take place here, covering two laps of the lake perimeter.

Additional land was reclaimed from the bay slightly to the north of the docks for the creation of the two other venues in the Bay City Olympic Park, both of which will be arguably the most significant venues of the entire Games after the Olympic Stadium. The Aquatic Centre, with a seashell-shaped exterior adorned with 109,300 blue LEDs, will stage all of the aquatic events with the exception of water polo. Meanwhile, the Carva Beach Arena is a temporary open-air venue that will stage beach volleyball, and also form part of the opening and closing ceremonies.

The maglev line terminus in Bay City is directly connected, via a 10.93m-wide pedestrian overpass, to the Olympic Park - indeed, the station is called Bay City Olympic. Bay City Waterside railway station is within 1km, and during the Games most trains will terminate there rather than at Bay City Central 2km inland.

Other Bay City venues: Renaissance Centre, Kytlerian Sporting College

An already existing symbol of the regeneration of Bay City was the Renaissance Centre, an exhibition centre built underneath a 24-storey office complex close to Bay City Central station. One legacy of Bay City's violent past - some would say present, with some southern and eastern suburbs still having the country's highest crime rate - is the popularity of combat sports. The two legacies meet at these Games, as the Renaissance Centre stages taekwondo, judo, and wrestling events. Nearest Subway station is Jarroll Square, 100m away, but Bay City Central is only 600m away and visitors have been advised to walk from there if coming by heavy rail.

The Kytlerian Sporting College is the sporting complex at Bay City University, and its swimming pool and various indoor halls have undergone significant refurbishment to welcome the multiverse for boxing, weightlifting, water polo, and fencing. Additionally, the demonstration sport of chessboxing will take place here. The campus is 3km north of Bay City Central; Bay City University railway and Subway station is a 400m walk away through the campus.

Aardswood venues

Aardswood is approximately 15km north of Bay City and 35km south-west of Zube, although the journey by road to Zube is almost 50km as it winds around Kytler Bay. It was once a significant port in its own right, particularly when law enforcement strengthened in Bay City; however, the relative lack of shelter, at least to the often damaging northerly winds from the Komodo Channel, made it unsuitable for some ships in severe weather. What was a bug to seafaring traders, however, is a feature to sailors - offshore conditions in this part of Kytler Bay are generally very good for sailing, with winds typically moderate and often unpredictable - and accordingly, the National Sailing Centre is based in Aardswood. It will provide the land facilities for the Olympic regatta, with the racing itself taking place on courses set out in several designated areas of Kytler Bay. Spectators will be able to watch the regatta on large screens in the town's central square and marina, both of which are surrounded by historic redbrick buildings.

Several other sports will take place on the exposed Eastern Downs, chalk hills that hem in the town to its north and west. The mountain biking course, part of the Downland Dirt Track Complex, rolls through these hills, the lack of foliage providing excellent views for spectators. Nearby, the Eastern Equestrian Centre will stage all disciplines of equestrian riding - including the relevant part of modern pentathlon, the swimming and fencing sections of which will take place at the newly-constructed Aardswood Leisure Centre. Shooting will take place at a temporary venue (the Olympic Shooting Centre) in a semi-rural location 8km north-west of Aardswood; this was to minimise the perceived security risks of the event. With the use of laser pistols, there is no such difficulty for the modern pentathlon, the final stage of which will take place around the hilly Sarpent Park on the western edge of the town.

The final medal event venue in the Aardswood area is the Whitewater Centre, close to the village of Jarrodstone to the west of Aardswood; this venue will stage the canoe slalom events. Jarrodstone has its own railway station, trains to which will run directly from Bay City and Zube during the Games, and shuttle buses will also run from here to the Olympic Shooting Centre, Eastern Equestrian Centre, and Downland Dirt Track Complex.

The demonstration event of golf will take place at the Aardswood Olympic GC, running along the coast north of the town. An exposed links course, it will reward accuracy with every club in the bag, but blustery winds, inviting carries, and deceptive greens place an emphasis on power and putting as well as precision.

All participants in events in this area will be based at Aardswood Olympic Village, on the site of a former open prison near the town centre. Like the other Olympic Villages, it will be turned into apartments after the Games.

Outdoor races

The cycling road race will start in Zube and end in Bay City; the route incorporates several hilly loops around the Eastern Downs, with the men's race being longer by incorporating more of them. The men's time trial takes a direct route from Zube to Bay City; the women's time trial route, being shorter, is a more traditional circuit going from central Zube to Jamison Farmhouse and back via Legacy Park.

The triathlon, meanwhile, is from Bay City to Zube; the 1.5km swim leg takes place in Carva Lake, the 40km cycling leg ends at Cluitt to the south of Zube, and the 10km running leg goes over the famous Cluitt Bridge over the eastern edge of Kytler Bay and ends outside the Jamison Farmhouse.

The marathon course is between the easterrn suburbs of Bay City and Jamison Farmhouse.

These routes have been slightly changed after the completion of the map made me realise I'd slightly underestimated distances.

To minimise the disruption caused by these races, all of them will take place on weekends, and the triathlon and marathon will have both men's and women's races on the same day with separate starts.

Football matches will be split between stadia around the country. Venues in the east are Bay City (Bay City Stadium, capacity 40,880), Starnwood (West Park, 34,500), and Carroll Lewiston (The Wonderland, 23,575). In the south of the country, venues are Alaer (Alaer Stadium, 40,122), Vengife (Taa'kai Memorial Stadium, 24,128), Zeiven (Dockside Stadium, 18,560) and Borlfield (Borlfield Stadium, 18,000). In the north and west, venues are Roddens (Roddens Stadium, 32,660), Santa Mordana (Estadio Santa Mordana, 50,880) and Edencliff (Chalk Field, 17,034). Generic stadium names are used as replacement for sponsored names.

*RPDs are the Kytlerian IC explanation of the effects of RP bonus.

by **Titaniumland** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:02 am

Our team of delegation, total of 40 entries had been arrived in The Kytler Peninsulae, the host of ninth Summer Olympics. Chris Marge, our proud badminton player will be our first Olympics' flag bearer. We expected for medals in badminton and in beach volleyball. Our target is 4 gold medals, 2 silver medals, and a bronze, but we don't expect that much, because this is our first Summer Olympics, but we hope our athletes will do the best and earn medals.

Titaniumlanders athletes arrived in The Kytler Peninsulae

Chris Marge, Titaniumlander flag bearer

Our athletes will be participating in archery, athletics, badminton, basketball, beach volleyball, diving, fencing, football, gymnastic, modern pentathlon, swimming, synchronized swimming, table tennis, tennis and volleyball.

List of events that Titaniumland will participate in

by **Electrum** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:32 am

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Jane McNamara

Electrum National Olympic Team ready to rumble!

The Electrumite team travelled from the Terranea to the Pavolan nation of Kytler Peninsulae, where the 9th Summer Oympiad is going to be held in Zube and Kytler Bay City. The delegation of a few hundred are ready and willing to be the first to snare a medal in the Summer Olympiad for Electrum, as well as win the first gold medal for Electrum. The gold medal has eluded Electrum, the nation named after the alloy of gold and silver -- yet has only experienced silver and bronze in international competition.

The goal for this delegation is to match the record of their best performance in international competition, the Winter Olympics in Liventia where they scored two bronze medals and a silver. Additionally, the athletes that gain a gold medal this year will receive a commemorative silver and gold trophy from Electrum, as a gift from the mining companies of Uranex Corporation and Meitner Mining. These trophies come from the dusty hot deserts near Hamilton, where precious metals are mined and extracted.

Veteran Chef de Mission of Electrum, Tim Wills will be once again overseeing the teams shenanigans, but he shocked the Electrumite community with some big news today, namely that he will be retiring at the end of these games. "It's been a long two years, and after overseeing two games and attending one more, it's high time I called it quits and let someone else have a go." Citing his desire to be with his family and the work commitments that made him very busy, Tim will said that, "This Olympiad will be my last."

Electrumites will also be out in full force, with the Kytler Peninsulae just a small hop away by plane. Fans wearing the Gold, Silver and Teal will storm the city with their mighty spirit and then there are the newly announced Electrum Olympic Helpers who will be walking around the athlete's village as well as the venues around the Peninsulae. They will be handing out commemorative Electrum Bolts and Zappers, and other paraphernalia to support the Electrum team. Also coming out in full force with the team is the Electrum's government's officials from the Doping Testing Authority and the Match Integrity Unit, to keep an eye on the Electrum team to ensure that no wrongdoing takes place while at the Games. The ENOC decided to bring these two groups voluntarily, to make sure that the games played by Electrum will be fair, and in the spirit of the competition.

Meanwhile, Electrum has a few medal hopes which will hopefully, be in with a good chance in winning a medal at these Olympic Games. Electrum is known throughout the multiverse as a cultured nation, doing well in refined sports such as fencing, tennis and sailing. Warren Prette, whose name sounds similar to the 'pret' command used in the start of fencing matches will be hoping to win a medal in the individual fencing events. Known for his fast hands and tactics, he can riposte and parry his way through his opponents. In the tennis, the world number two pair in Sonya Gredello and Rosa Levinsky and the world number twenty pair (in NS Tennis, all doubles teams regardless of gender are in one list), the Cassington twins will be hoping to snare a medal. They will of course have to face their rivals in the Xal sisters of Ceni who are also in it to win it.

Electrum also has a tough sailing qualification event. In fleet races of eight to ten pairs/teams/individuals, only the best of the best were chosen and selected to compete. The winners of the qualifiers took the one spot allocated to each nation in the Olympiad proper. Masaya Shinigawa on the Sailboarding (RS:X) is one of the favourites to win. Other favourites include Matt Li/Parker Nelson in the 470 and Gina Wright also on the RS:X. Of course there are so many other medal chances as well, but they're just isn't enough space to list them all! The Centralis Herald wishes the very best for all athletes, and hope that they represent the nation of Electrum well in the sporting spirit of not just international competition, but also cooperation and friendship.

by **Wray** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:25 pm

State of Play
A man. Sports. Booze.

Day -2

Remind us again why a slightly overweight 31 shouldn't be playing high-level club cricket? Oh yeah, I remember, because you can f*** up your knees. Your right knee, to be specific. In a 3rd XI match for South Cartersburg, for which I'd miraculously been called up for because half of the 3rd XI had gone back to their native countries or got injured. I was batting at 10 and only managed to bowl four overs in the 40 overs game, but the most notable incident came half way through the opposition's (Lincoln Bay CC 2nd XI) innings, their foreign professional from Apox drove the ball hard past me at mid-off, meaning I had to chase the ball all the way down the slope at Beaumont Community Playing Fields Pitch 2. Now, it is appear the grossly underfunded, under-equipped groundstaff (I've only ever seen one guy in the entire of the Playing Fields) forgot to cut the grass at the long-on boundary. The slope, combined with the hazardous grass clumps made for tricky terrain, but I was so determined to reach the ball that I missed a large, and particularly solid clump of grass, and keeled right over it. I didn't actually know I'd done anything, just a little bump on the knee, that's what I thought, but when I stood up, well, shall we just say, it hurt like f***. F*** with hot nails in. I tumbled over as soon as I got back up again, with my knee burning. I let out a plaintive cry, before groaning for help. Two other players helped me up and back to the tumbledown pavillion, where I waited with an ice pack filled with beer-use ice on my knee for 45 minutes before Amy turned up and shipped me to the hospital.

The doctor said I had snapped a couple of tendons in the front of my knee, and would have to have a brace thingy and crutches for two months. I protested, but it was basically impossible to walk on my left knee, so the crutches were the only option. Fortunately, I meant I could still travel to the Kytler Peninsula, I'd just have to be constantly tanked up on painkillers. The days before leaving were a constant mixture of me sitting around whilst Amy did all the packing, and hobbling up and down my apartment trying to get used to walking. I've managed to work out a system, but it hurts my arms a lot so I can't be walking all the time.

The one upside of the crippling pain is that people automatically have sympathy for you. At George Carter International, I got to board the flight before every one else, even the first class passengers! It's eerie being on planes when they're totally empty - you just never see them that way. But the flight soon filled up, mainly with fans travelling to the Olympics, and a handful of athletes who had just wrapped up their training periods and were headed off to the games. Amy and I met tennis players David Hannemann & Nathaniel Keller, sailor Brendan Agar & three members of the Men's Hockey team who'd left later because they were either fixing up injuries or working on technical hitches.

Despite the whole hoohah last time round in Orean, when I had my Press Accreditation removed because of a row with Wray's Golden Girl Grace Spencer, I managed to persuade the WOA to give me accreditation. I accused her of arrogance etc. and she lashed out, getting in contact with the hosting organisation who promptly denied me entry to any Olympic event centre as a journalist. Instead, I had to scrounge tickets off strangers and shell out thousands of Pales to shady characters in trenchcoats who had illegally printed tickets for like, the Women's Weightlifting. But not decent seats, seats I'm pretty sure weren't actually seats but were rather just bits of metal strapped to the wall by the door at the very top of the arena with a view of a creamy pillar as opposed to the action.

Kingfisher Air, Wray's flag carrier, flies to only a very select number of destinations outside of Esportiva, but thankfully, the flight plan to the Kytler Peninsulae avoided the sprawling morass of Denvargen International Airport. But however, we did have to stop over in Liventia. I've been to Orean several times, and I knew my way around the airport pretty well. In the connections hall Amy's brother, who was a good few years younger than her and me (we're both 31), who had come to drop off another bag of clothes and other assorted travel goods for the three week shlep.

The connection to the Kytler Peninsulae was a quick and easy one - Rushmore has a much better air travel system than Esportiva, and we arrived in the host country (a bit easier than saying Kytler Peninsulae all the time) refreshed and excited. The WOA, noted cheapskates other than spending millions of Pales on a new swimming centre in Albion, put the accredited journalists in an airport hotel, this time called the Oasis International. Compared to the Orean Airport Suites, it was slightly worse. But only slightly. My view was of a breathtaking whitewash wall, and the air conditioning didn't work, instead it just spat bits of white dust at us. It was pretty warm, and I'm not so much a fan of warm weather, so it was sleeping with the windows as open as they could be.

The following day, 3 days before opening ceremony, and we took in the Olympic Park in Zube, before catching a train to Bay City to take in the swimming facilities, where we'd be spending the first six or so days. The one annoying thing about having two host cities is that it's hard to got inbetween the two, no matter how efficient the transport links be. That's why I've paid out of my own pocket (and a bit of Amy's) to put us up in a hotel in Bay City for the opening six days of the Games so we can get to the swimming and still be leisurely in the morning, and not have to worry about getting back late at night after the finals conclude.

As a matter of journalistic courtesy, I attended the Wray Team Meeting in the conference room of their hotel. Amy stayed back in the room and caught up with some of her work. I remember the last time I was at a Team Meeting, we were in a draughty warehouse building in Orean listening to an 18-year old Grace Spencer natter on about having fun, and she genuinely ended her speech with the words 'Go team!'. No lie. This time the WOA had made a smart decision and put Brendan Matthews in charge of the Delegation. He gave a proper speech, and you could feel these games meant a lot of both him and the delegation as a whole. Of course, he was pretty much already cemented as an Olympic great, what with 4 medals (including 2 golds) last time round, but medals this time round would just make him even more legendary. But, nothing should be taken for granted, not in a Games with 92 delegations, each with their own strengths and hopes. Nothing. For no-one.

by **Nova Pruthenia** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:17 pm

Новапрутеньская Спортивная Газета
Nova Pruthenian Sport's Daily

For the second time in history Nova Pruthenian Olympic Comitee (NPOC) has decided to send your best 40 athletes to the IX Summer Olympic Games - announced Mikhail Nazarkov, the president of this organisation.

After 8 years of revolutionary changes in Nova Pruthenia, resulting in political unrests and thousands of our citizens refusing to be a part of our society, our country seems to be ready to try its luck in such an enormous international sports event.
"It's not gonna be an easy comeback" says Vera Parshina, our best sailor who's gonna be honoured as a flag-bearer. "There are thousands of Nova Pruthenians who left our country, including almost all the most experienced athletes."
"Vera is right", notices Petr Zaporov, sport reporter of public nationwide TV-station NPR1. "All of our best athletes have chosen to live in other countries, including three medalists of VII Olympic Games. Those revolutionary changes built a wall for athletes who wanted to progress. Fortunately, it's been a year and a half of peace and we're ready to start a whole new chapter of international participation in sports events. I wouldn't count on more than one, maybe two medals, though"

Let's have a look on our most prosperous athletes, who seem to have even a slight chance to become one of the top 8-10:
Nikita Sadykov, 24
Swimming marathonist, from Kionigsberg. Nova Pruthenian 10 km champion and apparently one who can find his place in top 10. Hasn't participated in any international events yet. Just graduated from the Kant's University in Kionigsberg as a historian. He's calm and hard-working, and his private collection has more than thousand books, mainly historic, of course.

Olga Pyatoshina, 22
Born in Tsimerbuda, studying and training in the capital city. Our possibly greatest medal chance. She's young and jovial, one who never gives up and cheers the others even if she feels like crap herself. She claims that she got interested in archery when she was 5 years old and watched medieval archery tournament in Mariyskaya Gora, a wonderfl city with one of the biggest castles in the world.

Stepan Kholod, 30
All his friends call him "Walker", cause he's been never caught on driving or even cycling. He just walks everywhere and does it faster than any other Nova Pruthenian. Born 30 years ago in Tilzit, began to walk as an athlete about 10 years ago. Before that he was a marathonist, without any significant trophies.

Michael Schillis, 25
Our representant in hammer throw, called ironically "Gulliver". One of those, who came from Germany with his family in 90's, and claiming his Baltic Prussian roots began to learn the Old Prussian language. Now he's fully fluent at it. "Kails pas kails" - he said to us while having his first beer this year.
"It's my birthday today, but I can't party too much. Only one beer and some piece of my birthday cake. Uhm... maybe two". Asked about his Olympic ambitions, he answered:
"Everyone knows, that I'm not one of the closest to achieve even bronze. But I feel that I'm in good shape, I'll try to qualify to the final. And, as you know, finals in hammer throw are often unpredictable. I'll pray for rain that day, everyone is scared of wet circle but for me it's just the same as always."

Ivan Yashkin, 19
Shotputter, who dropped school 2 years ago and settled in siberian forests in Russia with his coach, Arseny Maratov. He came back in april, musculous and full of energy. His season best and personal best at the same time (20,51) shows that he may be one of top 8 shotputters.

Elena Popova, 28
One of horse-freaks, who owns her own farm full of horses, riding them every day cultivating the only one of East Prussian indigenous race, Trakeyn. She hopes to perform well in eventing, although she also participates in jumping.

Darya Usova, 21
Talented modern penthathlonist, our second greatest hope for a medal. Born in Elbing, which has always been a "factory" of Nova Pruthenian top athletes of this discipline. She admits, modestly, that she dreams of a medal. Her favourite part is shooting connected with running. She loves to chase and overtake her rivals, which happens every time as her performances are average while speaking about fencing and equestrian, so she certainly catches up on others in the last event.

by **Sargossa** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:44 pm

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport

Who Will Rule The Pool?

Mario Najar reports;

Traditionally it offers one of the Summer Games’ most thrilling spectacles, the potent combination of an enclosed environment and a veritable conveyor belt of exciting events never fails to conjure up a truly fantastic atmosphere. And Kytler Bay City looks to be no exception to that rule, the Aquatics Centre an architectural feat worthy of the exhilarating competition to come. And what a competition it’s set to be. No other Olympic discipline tends to throw up the kind of thrills and spills that the packed Bay City crowds are set to enjoy. It’s going to be a battle for pride out there in the pool, one in which Sargossa hopes to pack a hefty punch. And given the unenviable task of masterminding that challenge is Jordi Vidal.

Vidal himself was no mean swimmer, a bronze medallist from the Games in Aeropag, and since being appointed as the nation’s first Director of Elite Aquatics has worked tirelessly to give Sargossa’s swimmers all the tools they need to excel. “We were pretty much given a blank slate”, he explained. “And told to create a blueprint for success. Simple, no? To my mind participation was key. There’s nothing easier than swimming to get involved in but we needed entice the public. Facilities were opened or upgraded, we got the Colleges and Universities on board and clubs became increasingly accessible for anyone who wanted to have a go. Then there was the Azul League, which happily proved a hit with competitor and spectator alike and quickly became a mainstay of the sporting calendar. And most importantly it provided the nation’s elite swimmers with consistent competitive action.”

The Games of the Seventh Summer Olympiad in Krytenia offered the first chance to see the products of the new system in action. “It was a very young squad we took to Emberton”, Vidal recalls. “But that was the point, we wanted to blood those we saw as the future of the sport. And given we’d taken just a single medal from each of the previous two Games the bar hadn’t really been set too high for them.” The team in Emberton would eventually claim five medals, two of them gold. On paper it wasn’t hugely impressive but it marked a big upswing in form and was a tally only bettered by three other delegations. “The medals certainly helped”, said Vidal, “but what really impressed me was the number of competitors we had in semi-finals and finals. That proved to me we were on the right track.”

A stack of medals from the First Rushmori Games in Aels furthered the belief that the project was reaping rewards but the acid test would come at the Games of the Eighth Summer Olympiad in Orean, Liventia. The squad was theoretically at the peak of its powers, if the time and expense was to be justified that was the occasion to do it. And do it they did, the thirteen medals won more than doubled the swimming tally from all Sargossa’s other Olympic appearances put together. Suddenly the bar has been set a whole lot higher. But the majority of those stars are back for one last hurrah, for what will surely be a swansong for many of our swimming heroes.

A decade ago the concept of a swimming hero would have seemed ridiculous, but now the likes of Candela De Santo, Rubén Fonseca and Marc Sarasola are as famous as any footballer. But the true queen of the water, and arguably Rushmore’s finest exponent of the aquatic arts, is unquestionably Adriana Abarca. Whereas Sarasola earns as many critics as admirers with his brash nature and occasional Twitter rants, Abarca is adored. A truly world class competitor, Abarca showed her talent in Emberton with a gold medal winning performance in the 200m Breaststroke and came within a whisker of retaining her title in Orean, eventually settling for silver. Although that brief disappointment was cancelled out by golds in both the 200m Medley and 200m Backstroke. Throw a couple of relay medals in there too and Abarca is comfortably Sargossa’s most decorated Olympian, whose slight unease in the limelight only further endears her to the public. “She’s a phenomenon”, Vidal exclaimed. “A once in a generation athlete. Her work ethic is just unbelievable. She was asked to carry our flag at the opening ceremony but politely declined as the ceremony clashes with the swimmer’s preparations for their opening heats. That’s our Adi, the work always comes first. And that’s exactly why she holds the national record over 200m in four of the five disciplines.”

Abarca and Sarasola will be leading the Sargossan challenge in the pool but it’s not all about the old guard, with the system continuing to churn out fresh talent. In particular there are a couple of 200m swimmers who are generating quite a lot of buzz on the domestic circuit. Backstroke specialist Alejandro Murillo has been clocking up some excellent times in the Azul League season while Luís Bogarín could be the latest world class Breaststroke competitor, a traditional Sargossan strength, off of the production line. On the women’s half of the team Catalina Aguilar is the next great hope. Kytler Bay City could well be the making of them.

The team may be ready but the strength of competition in the Aquatics Centre is set to be savage, albeit without some of the old powerhouses of world swimming. Mytannion, home of the system that gave us the so called ‘Fab Four’ that devastated the opposition at the Rushmori Games, aren’t present in the Kytler Peninsulae. Farkas too are absent, as are Krytenia and their proud tradition of producing world class competitors. But there’ll still be plenty of talent on show and we asked Jordi Vidal who he thought would be the nation’s to look out for. “Vekaiyu probably have the best coaching programme in the world, they’re always very strong. Kelssek too have a great record in the pool. I certainly wouldn’t rule out the hosts either. And Wray, they were excellent in Orean. I fully expect them to kick on here. It’s going to be a fantastic competition.”

by **The Serbian Empire** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:27 pm

An Iniquity Magazine Olympiad Special

The Defectors Part One
Written by: Goran Filipovic and Mila Mirkovic

With the first two parts showing the horrors of Gregoryisgodistan, this part is why this in the Olympiad. These were the conditions that the defectors lived in. Horrors such as gruel as their diet all their lives, cheese police who will execute anyone who isn't a government official with cheese, being unable to ride a bicycle due to only government officials owning bikes, postal workers who read every piece of mail, and having to avoid overly aggressive Enemy Crushers who are morbidly obese weighing as much as 600 pounds. Conditions so bad that it's easy for Serbian Empire athletes to try to recruit Gregoryisgodistani athletes to defect. Last year, the team brought home four athletes all competing in the aquatics events.
This year's goal is to liberate all the slaves from Gregoryisgodistan once they're done competing in their events for human rights reasons. Essentially, The Serbian Empire is the abolitionists of the Olympiad and Operation Saoirse will be the effort behind bringing slaves out of the oppressive regime and give them freedom. Freedom from having the government kill you for eating cheese, from having postal workers reading your mail, and the freedom of being able to own bicycles and cars. Why Saoirse for the name of the operation? Well, the Ambassador from Ireland suggested the name as it means freedom in Irish Gaelic if the translations have been correct.

Part Two will be published tomorrow.

by **Sargossa** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:18 pm

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport

Who Can Bear It?

Mario Najar reports;

The role of delegation Flag Bearer might be strictly ceremonial, like that of captain of the national football side the choice doesn’t exactly make a whole lot of difference, but to the chosen candidate it’s still one heck of an honour. Particularly as the size of Sargossa’s Olympic team, like most of the competing Rushmori nations, ensures a rather large number of sportsmen and women following proudly in the flag bearer’s wake.

In the past the OAS have used the opening ceremony to throw a bone to some of the more fringe parts of the delegation. With previous bearers of ‘Ole Pointy including Taekwondo star Xaviera Benito, Judoka Cruzita Tapia and Gymnast Tia Blanco, although that last one may have been more down to the influence of Blanco’s overbearing and frankly terrifying mother. Star swimmer Adriana Abarca was in the frame for the ceremony in Zube. As was footballer Lara Verduzco, who captained the Lady Corsairs to a shock silver medal four years ago. But having to prepare for the early rounds of their respective competitions ruled those choices out. So this time around their choice is somewhat less demure following the announcement from Chef de Mission Danté Tostado that the flag will be carried by none other than, drumroll please, Antonio Bartra.

When you consider the physique of a typical athlete someone with a lithe yet muscular frame might spring to mind. Bartra, despite being a member of the actual Athletics team, doesn’t quite fit into that category. Let’s be honest, he’s one big, hairy unit. They don’t call him ‘Big Bart’ for nothing. But give that boy a discus and wait for the fireworks. For you see, Antonio Bartra is a field athlete par excellence. In fact, without any trace of hyperbole, we’d say he’s probably the best exponent of the discus throw in the entire sportiverse.

Ok, it’s a bit of a claim but there are a couple of statistics to back it up. For starters he won the Sargossan trials by a country mile. Admittedly that one’s a bit of a given but he’s also the national record holder and reigning Games of the Greater Republic champion. Still not convinced? Well, how about this, he’s also the current champion of all Rushmore. Oh, and he took Olympic gold at the Games in both Emberton and Orean. See, now you’re getting it.

So it’s in Bartra’s unusually large hands that our flag will sit as Sargossa’s finest join the vast throng of sporting talent in Zube to officially open the Games of the Ninth Summer Olympiad. Which is nice.

(Edit: Quick city switcheroo)

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 1:53 pm

Stepping slightly OOC here, but a quick clarifying note in light of Sargossa's last RP - the parade of athletes will be at Zube Olympic Stadium. However, Bay City (specifically the Carva Beach Arena) will see the start of the opening ceremony. As for how in the world that will work - well, you'll find out on Friday.

by **The Serbian Empire** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:45 pm

An Iniquity Magazine Olympiad Special

The Defectors Part Two
Written by: Goran Filipovic and Mila Mirkovic
Notes: Goran did the interviewing due to the confusion of two Milas would cause. Mila Mirkovic is unrelated to Sierra.

Goran: I'm hear with the four defectors who are now on the Serbian Empire National Delegation. They are Tihana Alesic, Calliope Vukovic, Mila Vrenac, and Sierra Mirkovic. So why would you defect from Gregoryisgodistan?

Mila: The possibility of myself being killed for poor performance by Gregory's crushers is probably the most important reason as to why.

Calliope: Worse yet was being a concubine and being Gregory's very impersonal concubine. He has at least a thousand of them. Not to mention the gruel.

Tihana: It was swim or die and we failed to succeed in the pool. There was no choice for us to live other than to defect.

Sierra: I was just happy to have gotten out of the country and was planning a defection for months using the Olympiad as my ticket out of Gregoryisgodistan.

Goran: Next question, what is in the gruel?

Mila: I have to suspect it's some mystery substance. It's certainly not made of oats boiled in milk. Milk was probably forbidden for non-government personnel. Probably water...

Calliope: It's made of peas, oats, and water. Or so I think. Either way, it tastes awful and I'm glad to be out of there.

Tihana and Sierra (in unison): Yeah

Goran: I have a final question. Do you think the Serbian Empire has better pools than Gregoryisgodistan's?

All the swimmers: Yeah!

Goran: I think I'll let you go back to swimming practice.

by **Kelssek** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 4:52 pm

"What season is it again?" joked Harry as the grey clouds which had blanketed the sky all day finally began dripping rain onto the city. Burnaby's climate is notoriously moist, but cloudy days with the temperature hovering in the teens were certainly not how the good denizens of the City of Glass appreciated their Augusts. Harry lined up his pitching wedge with the golf ball.

"Yeah, this kinda sucks," Nathan said from where he'd managed to hit a shot straight towards the hole, but not very far. Four geese ambled across the pitch-and-putt course, paying little heed to the gangs of two-legged hairless apes hitting round objects around. The park staff made occasional attempts to walk around clapping their hands when the flock got too thick, but there was little to be done to discourage them from such an attractive buffet of grass located conveniently by a river.

After an exciting (good way) time shadowing the players on the national water polo team in Lasft turned into an exciting (bad way) outbreak of people dying and things being burned, plus an early trip home, Nathan Frolík went back to routine. He was pleasantly surprised to be named the captain of the University of Burnaby varsity team as a fourth-year, bravely led the Ravens to 5th place at nationals in his fifth and final year of Interuniversity Sport eligibility, and anti-climatically graduated after six years with a degree which said "Geography and Forest Management" on it. In the process of getting it he'd realized he liked learning about geography and forest management much more than actually working in geography and forest management.

Harry swung the golf club, shanking the ball directly into a hedge. "Do over," he said. This was a mutually-agreed rule. It wasn't even about the score - double the par for the course was a good score for them - if they played the rules properly, they'd never complete a game.

"Let's hope this doesn't get heavy. Still four more holes to go." Nathan supplied by way of colour commentary.

When the Burnaby Thunderbirds offered a one-year contract, a spot on the reserve squad, and a salary barely above eligibility for the Provincially-Adjusted Indexed Direct Cash Resupplemental Assistance Payment, Nathan jumped at the chance. It had always been a hazy, vague objective - he'd always approached the sport game by game, tournament by tournament, season by season. He'd felt pretty lost when suddenly he wasn't training and playing any more that last year of university. He'd only gotten 5 minutes and 16 seconds playing time in the KWPL so far, and the only two people who had ever asked for his autograph were the sort who hang out by the training facilities asking for everyone's autograph, but he still felt like such a badass whenever he was being introduced to someone and said he was a professional water polo player.

Getting cut from national team selection camp was not surprising. He was much closer now, than he was on that day he crawled out of the pool in Lasft gasping like a freshly-landed fish. But if anything Nathan was even more aware of how much more he still had to go. What had actually given him a kick in the gut was Harry, who had been on the experience programme in Lasft, making the team. Nathan had to fight the urge to wonder if something wasn't right or that he wasn't doing or working enough to have made the same progress. But him and Harry had kept in touch and become friends, so he was kind of obligated to be pleased for him.

Nathan looked at the scorecard. He was at +46, and Harry at +57. At least he was still definitely better at pitch-and-putt golf.

Minor copy-editing changes

by **Barunia** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:52 pm

Channel Four Coverage of the Zube-Kytler Bay City Olympic Games

MT: Hello and welcome to Channel 4's coverage of the games of the Ninth Olympiad. I'm Mary Tyler, and with me is international footballer Danil Samson.
DS: We're reporting live from Kytler Bay City, where in a few hours the opening ceremony will kick off. Are you excited, Mary?
MT: I am so excited Danil. Another man who I'm sure will be excited is Barunia's chef-de-mission Roy Cass. He joins us now, live in the studio. Roy, welcome to the show.
RC: Thanks Mary, great to be here.

MT: So Roy, let's start with the team. 372 athletes in 231 events is a big leap from the last Olympics, where Barunia fielded just under 200 competitors. What differences can we expect to see in the team from Orean?

RC: We've done a lot of work on identifying key areas from Orean that we could focus on. We've got a much larger track and field team, a women's football team and also a diving team. We've also expanded in a lot of sports, such as badminton.

MT: Are there any areas that you looked at, that perhaps it was thought we shouldn't focus on?

RC: Of course, they'll always be those areas, as the olympic delegation is based on past performances. We'll have no archers this time round, there's no fencing program, and no men's gymnastic team.

DS: With so many new competitors, what are your expectations in terms of medals?

RC: We'd certainly like to go better than the seven we won in Orean. Look, everybody want's to win, but I'd say the expectation would be that we'd get at least a couple out of the pool, and from the sailing. We've got some really good chances across a lot of the disciplines, so I'd certainly expect us to get at least ten medals.

MT: Is there any events where you think we're favourites and would expect to win?

RC: I'd say the women's field hockey. We're the reigning gold medallists, and we've got a good strong team, including our goalkeeper Tiffany Grouch who is one of the best in the world. That's the one I think would hurt the most if the gold slipped through our fingers.

MT: Just before we go, I want to ask you about our flagbearer, Karl Sexton. Your thoughts on that?

RC: I think it's a fine choice. Karl is an excellent sportsman, a bronze medallist from Orean. He's also quite a character, always there with a joke. He should be a good representative for the the nation.

MT: Roy, thank you for your time.

RC: Pleasure.

MT: Roy Cass, chef-de-mission of Barunia's Olympic delegation there. Ok, so we're now going to head live to Donaldson Park in Zube, where Alex McGee is with some very special guests.

--------

AM: That's right Mary. I have here two of the newest members of our swim team, Antonia Jordan and Lisa Martins. Lisa, in just a few hours you'll be marching into this stadium behind us for an Olympic opening ceremony. Can you believe it?

LM: It's pretty unreal. I remember watching the games at Orean and thinking that I wanted to do that one day. But yeah, it's hard to believe I actually made it.

AM: Antonia, what are your thoughts?

AJ: I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. I was at the training pool earlier and it just feels like another meet, ant then you look up and see the star, and go "oh yeah, I'm an olympian." It's pretty amazing.

AM: That will sink in a bot more hopefully when you march in the opening ceremony. Looking forward to it?

LM & AJ: Yeah!

AM: We'll bring you more from the athletes here at Zube a little later. For now, let's cross back to Kytler Bay City and Mary at the studio.

by **Windsor Islands** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:06 pm

Crown Chronicle I SPORT

Nation Waits in Anticipation for the Games of the IX Olympiad
by Roger Blythe

VICTORIA - In two days time, the whole world will fix their eyes on two cities in the Kytler Peninsulae for the next 24 days for the Games of the IX Olympiad, Zube and Kytler Bay City. These Games will be the first for the small island nation of the Windsor Islands, following the British nationalistic takeover of the country just three months earlier. The Windsor Island National Olympic Committee will be sending their best athletes to these Games. Although the ultimate goal of our Olympic team is to win an Olympic medal, these are our first Olympics, so we will be expecting our athletes to be able to do their best, perform well, and hope that they will win an Olympic medal. Let's take a look at three of the athletes that will be competing under the flag of the Windsor Islands at the Games of the IX Olympiad.

Kaiden Albinson - An athlete from Victoria, he had just come out of finishing his college education at Victoria College when he ran in the Olympic trials. He finished first in his heat, running a time of 10.26, earning a place in the Olympic delegation. Young and ready for the Olympic stage, he said in an interview with WSN Radio that he hopes to do his best for his country, and that whether he wins a medal or not, he is looking to become the pride of his nation by making it far in the athletics competition. Kaiden Albinson will compete in the Men's 100 m, 200 m, 400 m, the 4x100 m Relay, and the 4x400 m Relay. He will also be the flagbearer for the Windsor Islands Olympic Team at the Opening Ceremony in Zube.

Thomas Wu - A professional badminton player from Ashmont, Thomas Wu has become a household name by booking a place in the Windsor Islands Olympic Team. Thomas Wu's badminton career started when he was a child. At the age of 12, his parents enrolled him in a local badminton club in Ashmont that was headed by one of their family's close friends. He quickly became really involved with the sport and kept playing it throughout his adolescent years. As a teenager, he won many local tournaments and made it far into the National Junior Badminton Championships, before being knocked out in the Quarterfinals. In college, he impressed everyone with his skill for the sport, especially his reflexes and his powerful smashes. His professional badminton career started when he impressed a badminton coach from the Ashmont Badminton Association, a professional badminton association based in the city of Ashmont. He quickly was urged to join the association, but turned the offer down, for he wanted to finish his college education and earn his degree. After he graduated from Ashmont College at the age of 22, he quickly applied for membership at the Ashmont Badminton Association and was immediately accepted. His career their at the ABA proved to be successful, as he won many championships and was a finalist at the Ashmont Cup, a badminton tournament hosted by the ABA. At the age of 27, he was asked to join the Windsor Islands Olympic Team as a badminton player. He agreed and is now going to represent the Windsor Islands at the Games of the IX Olympiad. His hopes are to win an Olympic medal for his country, but he says he will want to try his best and perform well. Wu will be playing in the Men's Singles, with Kodey Zhu in the Men's Doubles, and with Sashi Nakimura in the Mixed Doubles.

Elisabeth Fable - A tennis player from Riverwich, she has become one of the nation's best tennis players. She began playing tennis when she was 15, when she was trying to use the sport as an opportunity to lose weight. Throughout high school and the first two years of college, she played casual tennis matches with her family and friends after school and in her free time. Her realization of the skill and experience she had gained while she had played casual tennis games for five years came when one of her friends who did not know that she played tennis saw her play tennis. Immediately after the casual game, her friend recommended for her to join the college tennis team. She tried out for the team in the fall of her sophomore year of college and got in the team. In her last two years of college, she quickly established herself as a powerful force in Windsorian tennis. She won a national championship and was a two-time tournament finalist. After college, she began her professional tennis career by competing in the Victoria Open, a national championship for tennis players. At the age of 23, she became the youngest finalist in Open history and became the youngest champion at the same time. In the next four years, she would've amassed a grand reputation, winning two Open Championships and becoming a two-time Open finalist. At the age of 28, she was called up to the Windsor Islands Olympic Team and will be representing her nation in the Women's Singles, with Estera Andrysiak in the Women's Doubles, and with Godfrey Holmes in the Mixed Doubles.

As the nation waits in anticipation for the start of the Games, the athletes will be ready for the competition that awaits them during the 24 days of competition. The Windsor Islands Olympic Team hope to win their first Olympic medal, but hope to do their best and perform well while they represent their country. The Games start on Thursday, August 21, but the Opening Ceremonies won't be until the following day on Friday, August 22. The television coverage of the Games of the IX Olympiad will be provided by the Windsor Sports Network and its three channels, WSN, WSN1, and WSN2. Throughout the whole tenure of the Games, I say good luck to the athletes of the Windsor Islands Olympic Team, and hope that we win ourselves a medal. Well, that is all for me. I will see you all in the TKP.

by **Camerania** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:20 pm

*Super duper fun sportsy intro with music*

Hello, I'm Barry Norman and welcome to the Cameranian Broadcasting Network. This is our first of many Olympic Updates, as the Games will be starting up very soon. I'm back, after my retirement to continue to bring you, the folks at home, the best Olympic coverage possible. Today we come to you from Kytler Bay City, one of the cities in the Kytler Penninsulae that are hosting the Games of the Ninth Olympiad, for a preview of what is to come in the next few weeks. It started just a few days ago, when our delegation arrived. This delegation comes from a revitalized, more exciting Camerania. In just the last year we have celebrated many great things. After a national vote, the new flag for our nation was unveiled as part of a year long celebration of the 180th anniversary of our reformation into our current republic. Camerania has made its international debut in many sports, including Canadian Football, Baseball, and Lacrosse. The Reformation celebration has been happening all year, starting with a series of concerts and art shows in the nation's largest cities, a Grand Festival in Burgundy City, which was from the 15th of May to the 31st of July, and featured food, live performances, markets of various goods, and ended in an enormous parade, which had an attendance of over 750,000 people. To top off this year's celebrations and success, Camerania is, for the first time, sending a full delegation to the Olympics, which is a very large improvement on the size of our previous delegations. Kytler Bay City has become incredibly busy, with so many athletes and sports fans arriving from around the world. Our athletes arrived earlier this week, and have been settling into the city, and seeing all of the amazing sights. I'm of course going to be coming to you live from both host cities, which will bring you many opportunities to see what the country is like. The opening ceremonies are sure to be amazing, and they're coming up tomorrow. Before then, we'll be bringing you the exhibition matches played between Camerania and Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland, so be sure to stay tuned! Until then, I'm Barry Norman, keeping you posted.

by **Todd McCloud** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:15 pm

Vekaiyun Swimmers: Free of Distractions
Reporting for V3 News Services, Rin Slakori

ZUBE - Unlike years past, it would seem that the Vekaiyun team is free from any major distractions. Moreover, the Vekaiyun aquatic athletes are, according to their entourage of coaches, trainers, translators, and Vekaiyun Cultural Officers among others, the most relaxed in years. Could this be a sign of another perhaps stronger Vekaiyun medal presence in the pool, or is it too far off the deep end into uncharted waters? Rin Slakori is on the case.

"We're aware of our competition, but frankly, we've never really let them disturb our concentration," eldest female swimmer Yva Noveli told V3 News earlier today. "The worst of it was probably during the Fifth Summer Olympics with Quintessence of Dust. We were aware of how good they were. A few times we caught each other looking at their times, but in general, after the first games [Vekaiyu participated in], we've not let our competition get the best of us."

Vekaiyu has always had good reason to think about their competition. The East Pacific in general has been home to some historically aquatic powerhouses, including Vulshain and Kelssek. While Vulshain was unable to finalize their bid during these Olympics, Kelssek is typically strong in the pool. Outside of the region, there are other strong nations in Wray (who helped to end Vinsent Ivere's medal streak in the Men's 100 m freestyle) and Sargossa, who went on to match Vekaiyu's medal total in the pool with 13. Last year it was a close race between the two nations, both which do not like to lose.

"We respect [our competition], but we just don't pay that much attention to them," Vinsent Ivere told V3 News. "For us it's all about representing our nation and achieving personal improvement. We're always looking for ways to better ourselves. Plus we're so used to competing against ourselves. It's kind of intuitive anymore."

Of course, international distractions are not limited to the games. Vekaiyu made history in April by responding to provocations across the Dverian border in Listonia, and poured across the well-defended terrain. After much hardship and strife, the nation had finally sacked a capital that had eluded them since the dawning of time - Nugala - turning the tables against a Dverian nation that once held Vekaiyu captive for some three hundred years. While some believed it was a sign of the end times, others rejoiced. As for the millions of Vekaiyun soldiers stationed across Dveria and Listonia, however, it was business as usual. But their ranks did not include any of the Vekaiyun athletes.

In between the Fifth and Sixth summer games, Vekaiyu was embattled in a bitter civil war, a war that claimed just over four million lives, including almost three million in Iruk alone. The war claimed sever casualties to the Vekaiyun Olympic Roster, including Kira Niru, a promising young athlete who took three silver medals in Outineau during the Fifth Summer Olympics. She was serving in Iruk when the Great Tragedy struck.

"It really made us grow up, really fast," Ikrisia Sulevire recalled. "Few of us were really 'okay' after what happened to Kira. Many of us lost friends and family in the war, too. It was very difficult to focus during the games in Cafundeu."

The Sixth Summer Olympics was the worst showing for Vekaiyun swimmers in Olympic history. The nation managed just five medals overall, highlighted by Ivere's Olympic record. As the Vekaiyun Armed Forces continues to stabilize the Dverian nation, the swimmers know their jobs this year mean a little bit more than personal records.

"Oh, none of us want to let them down," Riyna McAves said with a smile during a televised interview prior to making the trip to the Kytler Penninsulae. "They do their jobs so we can do ours here. There would be no Vekaiyu if it weren't for their efforts. And really, when it all comes down to it, protecting civilians or removing threats are way more important than swimming laps all day. But, it's a living. We are very big on supporting our soldiers."

Indeed, Vekaiyun athletes have made appearances behind the front lines to meet soldiers and increase morale, McAves included. "At first I didn't really know what to do. I didn't want to patronize them and tell them some story about how I motivate myself or train and how that applies to what they do, because it really doesn't. But really, they just wanted to see me and my medals. I think it's a distraction from the daily life. And that made me feel good. Really, just giving them support and shaking their hands is rewarding in of itself. I think that helps them somehow, too."

The Seventh Summer Olympics featured new faces across the pool, as the Vekaiyun Olympic Council (VOC) re-tooled and re-loaded the Vekaiyun aquatic roster. In many ways, it was like starting over again for Vekaiyu, who expanded their roster to include several new swimmers alongside the more seasoned veterans. Among those was Ilo Yeskuviye, who went medal-less in his first games but went on to win gold in the Men's 200 m Backstroke, setting an Olympic Record in the process. "[Krytenia] is not like Vekaiyu," he confessed. "There were so many distractions, and the culture was so different. It was difficult being so far away from home. It made it tough to concentrate."

The pressure was on to perform as well, especially since the team did poorly by Vekaiyun standards during the Sixth Summer Olympics. However, the veterans carried the team, and managed eleven medals, including six golds. Vekaiyun swimmer Vinsent Ivere took three medals, which would factor heavily into the VOC's decision to make him the flag bearer for the Eighth Summer Olympics.

But that was the least of the VOC's worries. Prior to the Eighth Summer Olympics, the VOC was reeling from a series of scandals. What began as a botched hosting bid in which the nation did not even vote for its own submitted bid ended with the Council on Olympic Records (COOR), a VOC sub-committee, dissolving over what the body called "lost records and inappropriate funding." The Vekaiyun populace, always quick to seek the root cause of their humiliation, was quick to place blame on the VOC Chairman, Verenyi Lemestrovyey, who resigned shortly after the games. He was replaced by Riyna Yovisktre, the first chairperson of the VOC who had resigned years earlier due to the death of skiier Yiisu Oblervi during the Sixth Winter Olympics.

"I didn't know whether to accept or give someone else a chance," Yovisktre said after the council voted her back to the office. "But I saw the disarray the body was in. I knew they really needed someone strong to owe up to the past mistakes and re-build. In the end, I couldn't turn that down."

This year, however, there are no major storylines. There are no painful deaths among the athletes, no new athletes "getting their feet wet", to coin an English phrase, no major scandals or horrible tragedies. Even the weather has been cooperating around what looks to be beautiful state-of-the-art aquatics facilities in neighboring Kytler Bay City. This year, at least for now, it is just raw Vekaiyu, ready to perform with what seems to be complete focus on the task at hand. Whether or not the lack of external pressure is a good thing remains to be seen. But, to this reporter who has followed Olympic athletes for the past three years, the squad does seem relaxed and focused. Let's hope the lack of distractions allow these athletes to hone in on their skills, go the extra distance, and swim to Vekaiyun glory.

by **The United Kingdoms of Zackalantis** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:59 am

ZACH SPORTS NETWORK

As the olympics are coming closer, let's take a look at the athletes representing the quuen at games and the desciplines that the UKZ is predicted to be most sucessful at.

Prateek Balraj

Prateek Balraj is the aquatic champion of the nation. He's from the zach kingdom of Chelyabinsk. he has won several zach commonwealth games titles and is the flag bearer for Team UKZ at the opening ceremony. If the nation has medal hopes from any athlete (which it does) its from this star swimmer of the nation.

Keith Pereira and UKZ Football Team

The team has just had a disspointing finish at the qualifiers for the World Cup 69. And the Zach football team is back to reddem itself under the leadership of Keith pereira. The Maen's football team has seen great sucess under Keith's leadership. possibly olympic medals are written in their future.

Malaika Chawla and UKZ Fottball Team

The team did not exist before but due to efforts of Aishwarya Haldankar, Minister for sports and culture the women's team was established. The Olympics will be their first international competition. And the team is aiming at gathering experience and gradually working their way to the top.

Kippu Balraj and the UKZ Basketball Team

The UKZ never played basketball until 5 years back when this team and the women's teams were created. This team has been representing the UKZ crown in all zach commonwealth games and are currently reigning commonwealth champions.

Table Tennis
Shubhankar Vartak
Amlan Sahu
Satyajit Apte
Ashwin Rayachotty
Velma Douglus
Tanya Almel
Schezeen Fazulbhouy
Malaika M
Hazel Majerekar

This sport has all of a sudden exploded onto the zach sporting scene and is becoming increasingly popular. Its popularity has spread within a short span of 1 year and following the commonwealth Table Tennis Tournament it has gained even more popularity and a larger follwoing. In the team Shubhankar Vartak represented the zach crown and won gold, Schezeen Fazulbhoy and Malaika M also represented the zach crown and walked away with gold and silver respectivley.
Satyajit Apte and Amlan Sahu also two prominent personalities in zach table tennis failed to win any medals at the commonwealth championships, with Satyajit Apte failing to qualify and Amlan Sahu getting knocked out in the first round itself by the team from Lacostasia. They look to redeem themselves at the olympics.

Janhavi Misra

Ths girl only 17 from the city of Reginum will run in the modern pentathalon. High hopes rest on her young shoulders. She has represented her mingdom of Euchresto at the zach commonwealth games 2013 and walked away with gold. She affirms that she is fully prepared yet nervous about the games.

BADMINTON

The national sport. needless to say that everyone in the UKZ is expecting medals from the Badminton contingent at the games. The UKZ's most prominent badminton players (or badtheletes as they are called in the UKZ) include
Daniel Grint
Ned Micheal
Joe Baker
Aishwarya Hadankar

them and many more wil represent the UKZ at the Games of the IX Olympiad. Best of luck!

by **The Oaklands** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:31 am

The Oaklands Olympic Delegation have arrived in the Kytler Peninsulae, and so we thought we would put together some details for your perusal about the main points from The Oaklands Olympic Delegation.

ATHLETICS
Men's 100m-The competition to get to the Olympics from The Oaklands was stiff. At the National Athletics Championships, which served selection purposes for the Olympics, there were eight men to choose from in the final, and all had a realistic chance of winning. Jamie Keek was the favourite, but anyone who saw Kyle Doris destroy his Semi-Final would fear him, and with William Young being the fastest in the Heats and Edris Dubovitch running as fast as Keek, you couldn't confidently put your money on anyone. But it wasn't just between those four. James Hill, Robert Rodriguez, Edwin Numbers and Samuel Lansborough had all looked impressive in the Semis. Edris Dubovitch and William Young both shot out of the blocks, only to be overtaken by Kyle Doris and then blown away by Jamie Keek, who won by almost 2 metres in a time of 9.76. In an interview afterwards, Keek said, "I don't think I'll ever run as fast as that again, the wind was with me, the track was perfect for sprinting and my competition spurred me through. It was a perfect race, so I am incredibly chuffed to be NC and going to the Olympics." Keek is 28 years old, and so this may be his only chance on the Olympic stage. Kyle Doris is also 28, so he will be hoping to impress, whereas Edris Dubovitch is only 21, so has his whole career ahead of him.

Men's 200m-Only two athletes appear in this event from The Oaklands, Jamie Keek and Edris Dubovitch, who both qualified in the 100m. At the National Championships, it was a two horse race between the two, with Keek winning by 7 hundredths of a second.

Men's 1500m-This the event where other competitors will need to watch out-Timothy Green is in fine form and will be tough to beat. He is joined at the Olympics by Lucas Freedman, whose main event is the 800m but he is also a good runner at the 1500m, coming a valiant second at the National Championships.

Women's 10000m-Harriet Browning is by far the best 10000m runner in The Oaklands, winning at the National Championships by almost a minute. She is another one who will need to be watched out for. Be warned other nations!

Women's Marathon-Lois Jasper is maybe one of the most inconsistent runners on the team, but when she gets it right, you won't see her for dust.

Men and Women's Hammer-The Flaxford siblings, Antonin and Euphrasie, are probably the most impressive athletes in The Oaklands, destroying all other competitors in Regional and National events by miles.

CYCLING
Men's Road Race-The Oaklands team have a serious chance of breaking away from the rest of the field to bring Brandon Brown to victory, but no-one knows with Road Cycling.

Women's Time Trial-The young Liz Adams may be in with a chance of a medal here, and she has commented that she likes this Olympic course. However, being so inexperienced, who knows whether she will be able to keep her temperament?

Men's Team Sprint-These three have done so much training as a team, and they know each other like the back of their hands. All three have blistering pace, but watch out for Harold Thompson on the last stint, it is not a time to blink.

Women's Keirin-Kelly King has the ability to keep sprinting for ages and ages, which is why she is suited to this event. She also has an eye for gaps most wouldn't spot. Opponents best chance is to take her by surprise.

FENCING
Men's Individual Foil-Aaron Differ is a seriously seasoned competitor, reaching 35 years old just before the games. He has won numerous regional events, but has never competed at anything like the Olympics before. He has said he hopes to enjoy the experience even if he doesn't win.

HANDBALL
Men's- The men's handball team are still very young, the average age only 21.6! However, they are gaining experience fast and could go quite far, lead by the most experienced and oldest member, at 28, Hamish Jukes.

TENNIS
Mixed Doubles- While the rest of the tennis squad don't have much medal chance, Luis Collins and Sarah Flores have a serious chance in the mixed doubles. They have trained as a doubles pair for 10 years, so they know how one another play better than most doubles pairs. They should go far in the competition.

by **North Britonisea** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:19 am

Northern Times. -interview with Captain of the Men's North Britonisean Team.

G= Hiya. I am G. Just before the Olympics was official, North Britonisea was made an independent country. If this did not happen we would not be here today. Since that happened we are now free to send people over to Kylter Bay City and Zube to watch and be apart of our first olympic games. But the 9th in it's edition. Please welcome the captain of The North Britonisean Mens Olympic Football Team. Hello.
C= Hello. [Smiling uncontrollably] I am happy to be here.
G= Well our studio is not in Kytler, my favourite, but on the outskirts of Zube so why are you so excited. Or is it the buzz of the area?
C= I am thrilled. I love, love this country and they will do well. The competition is long so each day will not be as eventful.
G= Yes. I understand you have to play again in Britonisea's Doportedas. For the regionals right? You will play as 'Britonisea' . How do you feel.
C= Well i am okay. Regionals do not start until 31st which is in ten days. Ish...
G= Sorry but we have got to let you go. Bye.
.
More RP to come from me and Brit.

G= In Badminton, watch for Korran Dispach and Tennis, world number eighteen Peter P Larry. They will both be playing Badminton.

by **Costa de Ouro** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:42 am

Ceniana Subsidiary to Commence Services to Olympics
Wednesday, August 13
Story by Marcos Cardozo

Antillia, Costa de Ouro: Javelin Airways, a Ceniana subsidiary, will commence services from the Avissian Union to Zube International Airport, the main airport serving the upcoming Games of the IX Olympiad in the Kytler Peninsulae, next week. Experts have predicted increased sporting and economic ties to the rest of the world as a result.

"We studied the market for services to Zube intensely and gauged that there was enough demand to start services," said Conav Tylavee, a Javelin Airways spokesperson. "We were proved correct when the flights filled up their large capacities very quickly." Tylavee also expressed confidence that the flights would generate economic activity in the Avissian Union and The Kytler Peninsulae. "People from other places spending money will help the economies of both countries," he said. He also expressed that Javelin Airways was "proud to expand the Olympic spirit around the world to dozens of destinations."

Antônio Souza, head of the Avissian Union Tourism Board (CTUA), agreed with that assessment. "If people from the Kytler Peninsulae see Costa de Ouro or Morroseta as a great spot to spend a week, they will pass the word, and our economy will benefit." While Kytlerian promoters are encouraging people to come to the Olympics, Souza said that the CTUA would be advertising in the Kytler Peninsulae. "The Avissian Union is great place to go to avoid the crowds of the Olympics," he opined. "We have a lot of great things to see and do."

The Avissian Union, formed by Morroseta and Costa de Ouro, is sending a full delegation of four hundred athletes to the Olympics, with competitors in every discipline. "It's a great chance to showcase our sporting abilities," says Amílcar Victor, the chairman of the Avissian Union Olympic Committee (COUA). "If we shock the more established sporting nations, then we will have a boost in prestige," he remarked. "If we don't, we'll still walk away knowing we did our best."

The services be from the two main airports of the Avissian Union, Antillia Sonhos International Airport, the largest airport in Costa de Ouro, and Morroseta International Airport, the main airport serving Morroseta. Connections through these airports will be served through ARCO Costa de Ouro as well as the National Railway Association of Morroseta (AFNM), both codesharing partners with Ceniana.

The flights will be served with Ceniana's long-range Monteluci A350 and Radiomatics Moorburgh 750 planes, which seat 350 and 320 people respectively, although Ceniana hopes to put in its longer range Monteluci A360 when it receives its order. The flights will run 5 times a week and will stop in Fontvielle, Yttribia, for refueling, as the range of the planes is not enough to cover the long distances between regions with acceptable safety margins. Other Astyrian nations being served by the services include GHawkins, Nikolia, and Blackhelm Confederacy, and Javelin Airways will also serve other nations within the three big sporting regions as well as other major airports throughout the world.

Ceniana is one of the world's largest carriers, serving over two hundred and fifty destinations. Javelin Airlines, its subsidiary, serves mainly Esportiva, Atlantian Oceania, and Rushmore, although it does service major sporting events out of other regions. Global Wings Airways also flies out of Costa de Ouro to other Astyrian destinations.

The general reaction about the services was positive. "I'm looking forward to going to the Olympics now that these services have started," Jorge Franco, a computer engineer, said. "Before, it took days to get from place to place. Now, it takes a fraction of that time." Aldo Santana, a petroleum engineer, will be taking his wife and two kids to the Olympics. "The boys have been dying to see sports live," he told VVC News, "and where better to see them then the Olympics?"

by **Muriburiland** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:57 am

Íþróttafréttir - Ólympíuleikarnir Sérstakt

Loðmundur Skæringsson – Bay City Olympic Park, The Kytler Peninsulae

Olympic fever is set to hit Muriburiland again after the Olympic Team landed at Zube Airport earlier today, ready to participate in their first ever appearance at the Summer Olympics. 187 athletes will participate in 114 disciplines. Their aim is to at least equal the 1 Gold, 2 Silvers and 3 Bronzes that the team won at the IX Winter Olympics. The National Olympic Committee believe that this is achievable because even though summer sports are traditionally less popular than winter one’s, there will be a much larger delegation representing Muriburiland at this Olympics.

Right, now let’s take a look at the athletes who have the biggest chance of achieving fame and glory. Today we’ll concentrate on the Swimming, Athletics and Triathlon:

First of all in the swimming We have Øssur Svenningursson and Marjun Ingidóttir. Øssur is a specialist in the Men’s Marathon while Marjun has a very good chance of a medal place in the Women’s 50 m Freestyle, the Women’s 100 m Breaststroke, and also in the Women’s 200 m Individual Medley.

In the Men’s Athletics Jatvarður Hjørmundurson is a shoe in for a medal in the 1 500m while Tjærand Lokkertsøn and Þangbrandur Ægirsson will both be going for gold in the 5 000m and the 10 000m respectively. But the greatest chance for a medal must surely be in the Men’s Marathon where Brønte Dagstyggsøn, Hakje Hakjesen and Hjørmundur Zebastiansen all have a fantastic chance for a medal and we may even see a Muriburi 1-2-3!

Brønte Dagstyggsøn training in Nordland

Meanwhile in the Women’s Athletics Alise Odindatter and Snæfríður Tjörfidóttir will challenge for honours in the 5 000m and Alise will also be hoping to push for a place in the 10 000m. Again the best chances for a medal probably fall with the Marathon runners where Ragnheiður Klæmintdóttir, Lærke Ravnkjelldotter and Valþrúður Daðidóttir will all hope that their training has paid off and win some medals.

Moving onto Triathlon the greatest hopes rest on the shoulders of brother and sister Lukkas Carlsøn and Lussi Carldatter. Both are among the favourites to medal in their events and will also be under pressure to match each other’s achievements. I spoke to their father Carl Ragnfrødsøn earlier and he said that ‘I don’t care too much about the results, I just want them to go out there and enjoy themselves. Obviously there will be a bit of sibling rivalry but I don’t think they will be too bothered and will concentrate on their own game. With any luck they’ll both win gold but I’m immensely proud of them both whatever the result.’ Ah isn’t that sweet? Be sure to pick up tomorrow’s issue when we’ll take a look at even more our great athlete’s.

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:30 pm

Social media news round-up from Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland.

Twötter

@AnnettvonMöley

Fäcebüch

Tom Kantel

Torsten Engel

Christine Göttgens

LGBTSWR

68 others

Inßtabljörk

Leonie Lehmann

Last pic outside the Schenklenbergmatzenheim before I leave for The Kytler Peninsulae!! Good luck to Susanne and Jessika too!! #olympics #teamswr #rifleshooting #selfie
579 people like this.

Malin Poß

Hannah Luchterhandt

Susanne Färber

Ben Beermann

Lothar Frohloff

He's Had An Absolute Hölöschwredermeinerbinghofkallenschlachtesentermittelhopferdeilungabschlachtweltungsmeining

Social inclusivity at stake as nobility dominates sailing, equestrian teams

ResistanceSports

"Plastic Schutzenphalians": is questioning Anenechukwu's place racist? A semiotic approach to postmodern concepts of nationality

b00bmaster69

Low expectations in team sports, athletics lead to questions about funding priorities

pineapples

Postmodern pentathlon, athletics medley relay, and synchronised Mornington Crescent: ten new sports the NSOC should consider adding

tagmeierFCfan

Decline in hammer throwing as a paradigm of Schutzenphalian prestructuralist deconstructionism

MetaNarrativesFTL

by **Democratic States of Fenbar** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:06 pm

For all the latest sports news and results

DSFsports.com presents

The Official Preview of the DSF Olympic Delegation to the games of the IX Olympiad

Athletics
by Samuel Hill

Whilst much Fenbarric attention will be focused on the sprint pair of Freddy Dujon and Marcus Tubosa, who will both be competing in the 100m, 200m and 4x100m, I personally am much more excited about our chances in the longer distance events, both Men and Women's. We have some quality athletes running for us, most notably Jonny Cryan, Pete Nevins, and my niece and nephew, Matt and Meg Hill. Also watch out for the the Women's 4x400 team, who could spring a surprise. In addition, I'm well impressed by the new kit that DSOC has come up with for the Games. You can view it

Boxing
by Derek Montgomery

Whilst I consider myself a sort of Cricket guru, I don't know the first thing about Boxing, so why I'm covering them for the Games I have no idea. I also have no idea why the greatest game in the world isn't played at the Olympics, but I don't decide these things, so there we are. Anyway, I've been told I have to write some sort of preview, so I've asked around, and apparently there are 4 medal hopes for the Democratic States at these games. One is David Wenlock in the Flyweight, although if he weighs the same as a fly I'm sure that most people could beat him at a boxing game, if that's what it's called. There's a guy called Freddie Burns who might win the um... the er... the light welterweight, whatever that is. Have any of you lot ever heard of a welter, or even someone weighing the same as one? Not I. Finally in the Men's there's a fella called Jordan Christmas who is trying to win the... oh hang on this is getting ridiculous. He's in the light heavyweight? How can he be light and heavy at the same time? Well, who knew. Apparently you can be. I didn't make up this sport, and if I did, it would have involved a lot more stumps and hard leather balls, and a lot less people who've never heard of the imperial measurement system, and instead use random phrases to describe how heavy people are. There is a women who has a chance of a medal: Janie Thompson in the lightweight competition. At least she's sensible. Needless to say I can't wait 'till this is all over and I can get back to writing about 6-3 fields and whether or not it's immoral to mankad someone.

Cycling
by Jamie Partridge

This is one of Team DSF's strongest disciplines, especially on the track. Louis Steel and Finn Wolff will be among the favourites to claim gold in both the Sprint and the Keirin, before they combine forces with Dave Hughdon to take on the Team Sprint. Jon Sandercock is also in a good position to win the Omnium, and will be leading the Team Pursuit as well. There is a similar good feeling around the Women's group. Stacey and Katie, the Grenolds sisters, will both be in the Sprint and the Keirin, and will try to use their great sibling understanding to their advantage in the Team Sprint. Amanda Havering is the States' lead rider in the Pursuit, and will also be attempting to get a medal in the Omnium. Mark Moffat will be having a tiring couple of days, as not only will he ride in the Team Pursuit, he will switch to the road and be our main contender in both the Road Race and Time Trial. He is probably one of the most versatile athletes at the games. Zac Goldsmith and Sharon Austin are DS of Fenbar's main hopes in the BMX, whilst Troy Kilty is one of the favourites in the Mountain Biking. Don't be surprised if you see a glut of medals coming our way from the cycling.

Racquet Sports/Table Tennis
by Gordon Ying

Our best hope in Badminton is Leo Jaffa, but I can't really see us getting any medals there. Where DS of Fenbar's best hopes lie are in Tennis, where Oliver Letwin and Jenny Tomoulin both have a good chance of a medal in their respective singles competitions, and then have combined to become one of the favourites in the mixed doubles. Lawrence Fasder and Hannah Houston are their Doubles partners, and in all five competitions I really think we have a chance of placing well. Men's Table Tennis is also another strong point for Team DSF, where the trio of Hinder, Ety and Underwood form a formidable team, as well as threatening in the singles competition.

Rowing
by Tyrone Kiell

There are some great prospects for us in the Rowing at this Olympics, and I think we have a real chance of grabbing some medals. I'm most looking forward to seeing Steve Reed and Mike Ford go in the Coxless Pairs, whilst both our Coxed Eights teams have a real shot of making a splash. Also keep an eye out for the DuCheval twins in the Men's Lightweight Coxless Fours, as they can really give the team some speed in the final 250m.

Swimming
by Lucy Davies

There is one standout Fenbarric entrant to the swimming events: Finn Hastings, who's name is down to swim in 16 events. Whether he gets a medal or not in most of them is another matter, although his favourite event, the 100m free, could be within his grasp. The Men's team seems to be a lot stronger than the Women's, mainly due to Hastings, but also because of Messrs Marshall, Brennan, Werner and Pembroke, who could all push for a medal at one point during the Games.

Team Sports
by Luc DuChateau

As a football correspondent, I am initially drawn to the football teams, and whilst Women's football in DSF has yet to take off properly, I can't help but feel that the Men's team absence from the World Cup means that they will be a lot more fresh than a lot of their opponents, even after you factor in all the youth aspects that everyone else seems to have added to their team. Elsewhere, Men's Water Polo and Women's Basketball seem to have been given a decent chance by experts, whilst both Hockey teams have been tipped for a medal. The Handball squads may also spring a surprise.

Triathlon
by Tyrone Kiell

The States have 6 very strong competitors in the Triathlon. Leading the men is the stalwart Everard Montgomery, who at the age of 39 has said that this will be his last competition. He is closely backed up by both Lucas Stevenson and Tim Fordingbridge, who burst onto the Triathlon scene earlier in the year in the Olympic trials, and is one of the youngest in the competition. The women are equally strong, and one lady who I'm tipping for a medal is Lucy Tate, who is in blinding form. She is ably supported by Lana Wilkinson and Rachel Cueto.

by **Free Swiss States** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:47 pm

The tower of the mad professor Zanatu Armán lay on a small, rocky island off the coast of Death Point, to the far, far, south. Jonah Nizzy and James Hunt, senior members of the Swiss Olympic Commitee, had needed two connecting flights and a two-hour ferry ride just to reach the island's shore. Now, looking up at a steep trail thhrough twisted rock formations and the stumps of long-dead trees, Jonah Nizzy let out a groan.

"Ugh, this is going to be my workout for a month." Jonah had the physical appearance of a small moon and the physical ability of a wet puppy. It was in some ways odd that he had been made head executive of the Swiss Olympic Committee, as in truth he knew absolutely nothing about sports. Then again, knowing the FSS, in some ways it made perfect sense.

James Hunt, the head liaison for the Olympic Committee, let out a yawn. His cyborg body (which had been constructed for him after his torso and legs had been eviscerated in a failed plot to take over the world) would have no problems with the trek upwards to the tower. "Come on," he said. "My Hexa-TripleQuad processor brain calculates that it is only two hundred feet of slight vertical incline to the entrance. The average human walks more distance over a day using the bathroom in their house. You should be fine."

Little did James Hunt know that Jonah had a special Segway designed for in-house use. Walking to the bathrrom was for the peasants. "Two hundred feet?" Jonah gasped. He collapsed to the ground in a ball. He held himself and rocked back and forth slowly. "Go on without me, James. It's hopeless.. Tell my mother... tell her I tried."

"Ugh. Whatever." James effortlessly picked up Jonah and began walking towards the tower.

"Yay!" Jonah said.

As they approached the entrance a geyser of green smoke erupted from the tower's chimney. There was a sound like an approaching train whistle before the smoke dissipated into the air. "Uh... I'm just going to ignore that." Jonah said. He eyed their surroundings.. Some of the rock formations looked like human skeletons. Oh wait. That almost certainly was a human skeleton, impaled on a pole over there. Erp. "I prefer lawn gnomes, myself," Jonah said. "The occasional pink flamingo isn't out of place, either."

"We're here," James said, placing Jonah down. He raised a hand to two big wooden doors, hesitated, then knocked. They waited for a second before one of the doors creaked slowly inwards. Inside the tower was total darkness, but Jonah thought he could make out two eyes, red, and gleaming. "Come in, come in," a voice said. "Welcome to my... humble abode." James looked at Jonah and shrugged, then entered. Jonah swallowed and with heavy legs followed him in.

There was a barley audible click and fluorescent green light emerged from somewhere, although Jonah couldn't see any particular light source. The light almost seemed to be coming from the walls themselves. But Jonah's attention was immediately grabbed by the figure which stood in front of him and James.

"You're... you're... you're actually..." Jonah stammered, "You're actually.... pretty normal." The figure which stood in front of them was an ordinary white male about 5'10, was wearing a finely pressed suit with a blue tie, and had a friendly smile on his face. "Hi, I'm professor Armán," he said, shaking Jonah's hand. "This is where I do most of my experiments. Sorry, it's not too cleaned up. I also have an urban office in downtown Basil where I meet most my clients, but since you specifically requested to meet here I thought I could make an exception. Now, if you'll follow me, please."

What the. Jonah had most certainly NOT asked to specifically meet here. Wait a second. Jonah glanced at James, who was avoiding any kind of eye contact with him. "You monster," Jonah whispered to him, as they ascended a spiral staircase made out of pure crystal. "That ferry ride was two hours."

They stepped into a large circular room, bordered by about a hundred large metal cylinders. "Let's see," professor Armán said," whipping out a notepad. "You ordered product 0057, which was just cleared by my physio team a few hours ago. Nice timing! Right this way, please." He approached one of the metal cylinders and entered a long combination number into a keypad. With a soft hiss the front of the cylinder slid away.

Inside was the largest, most muscular man Jonah had ever seen in his life. And Jonah had watched a lot of porn, so that's really saying something.

"This is product 0057, a combination of the most advanced chemical and nutritional science available in this nation," Armán said. "He is completely obedient and utterly disciplined. In physical exertion he will compete to the point of exhaustion, or even past that, to the point of injury, if so commanded. He stand approximately 7'2 and two hundred and ninety pounds. His body fat percentage is approximately 4.46%. We have specially engaged his quadriceps, lat, lower back, and hamstring muscles in order to maximize his effectiveness in the single scull. His sense of balance is unmatched. So is his competitive instinct."

Armán reached down and lifted up the man's loincloth, which was all he was wearing. "We removed the male genitalia as it proved to be excess weight as well as limiting to flexibility at the front part of the stroke. His testerone glands have been relocated, they now line his spinal column and inside of the skull to have more direct access to the brain tissue during his final sprint." Jonah shuddered. Armán let the loincloth drop and turned back to face his two clients. "Product 0057 will win you a gold medal in the Olympics in the single scull or die trying. Literally."

"Is it legal?" James asked.

"No."

"Perfect." James reached out and ran a metallic hand across Product 0057's face. It didn't flinch or blink. "Does it have a name?" he asked.

Professor Armán was looking at his notepad again, making occasional marks. "The physio team claims he is the most perfect specimen I have created as of yet. We have affectionately taken to calling him Aten, after the Old Egyptian god."

"Thank you," James said softly. "He is truly extraordinary. Aten!"

Aten instantly looked up. "Yes, sir?"

James smiled. "You and I are going to get along excellently."

Jonah watched silently. He remembered the last time James had called something truly extraordinary. He had been referring to the mysterious sentient knife, Mr. Sharpointy, before trying to obtain it in a diabolical plot to take over the world.

He sighed to himself. If James was up to his old tricks, so be it. Quite frankly, Jonah didn't care. He just wanted some food.

by **Nova Anglicana** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:58 pm

Olympic Special: Team Sports

The IX Olympiad is to take place in the Kytler Peninsulae, in Zube and Bay City, in a very short while. Although the full schedule has yet to be released, multiple team sports, as well as badminton and table tennis, have been announced as taking place on what event organizers are terming "Day 0", more than likely meaning they will take place before the opening ceremonies in the interest of time. These team events include women's water polo, men's and women's basketball, men's and women's football (preliminary rounds), and women's indoor volleyball. With these events in mind, the Londinium Courier presents its preview of Nova Anglicana's team sports delegations and the opponents they will be facing.

Men's Water Polo

The men's water polo team will not be participating on "Day 0", but the university boys are raring to go. Although they are the best of the best of Nova Anglican collegiate water polo, outsiders have indicated that the Sea Lions are considered "average to slightly-below average" as far as Olympic water polo. While this does not bode well for medal hopes, international competitions are full of surprises. The Lions were drawn into six-team Group A, which includes Wild Isle, the Democratic States of Fenbar, Antornas, Vettrera, and something called "Slave State". Preliminary scouting indicates that the DSF are overwhelming favorites to win the group, but who will take the second knockout stage spot? Despite this being their first Summer Olympiad, the nation of Antornas could challenge the DSF for first. The Slave State team has been described as "comical" in its ineptitude, and Vettrera poses little threat as well, but Wild Isle's aquatic heritage has them a serious threat to our boys, if not the DSF or Antornas. It looks like a two-team race.

Prognosis: 3rd/4th, no advancement.

Women's Water Polo

This team, like the men's team, is composed of university players as well, but their level of play is quite a bit higher than the men, on the order of an "average to above-average" Olympic team. The Lady Sea Lions have been drawn into 5-team group H, along with Taeshan, Schottia, hosts Kytler Peninsulae, and Vettrera again. Taeshan is the favorite here, an excellent if not top-class water polo team. The Lady Sea Lions are the second-best team in the group, as the other three nations have been described as "fair to poor" Olympic sides. Assuming a loss against Taeshan, these women will need to win the rest of their games, and by impressive margins as well, as only the five best group runners-up will advance to the knockout stages. They have a good shot at making it, but once there, they are unlikely to advance.

Prognosis: Should finish 2nd in group, with luck we'll be one of five best, probably won't make it past Ro16

Men's Basketball

The Nova Anglican Olympic Committee elected to send its full senior side, ranked 15th in the world by IBC standards, to represent us. Led by the aging captain Gary Hale, for whom this could be his final appearance in a Lions uniform, the team hopes to medal and have to be considered one of our best chances in the team sports. The Lions have been drawn into 5-team Group E, along with baseball foes Super-Llamaland, football greats Eura, and the nations of Eastfield Lodge and Al-Mumtaz. Super-Llamaland could be a challenge, as they are ranked 12th in the world by the IBC, but it appears that they haven't sent their best team to the Olympics, and the Lions have a good shot at beating them. Eura are much better at football than at basketball, and an easy win is expected. As for Eastfield Lodge and Al-Mumtaz, they are considered "fair" Olympic teams, but no threat to the Lions. A 4-0 group stage could be possible, and the Lions need to win the group, as only the four best runners-up advance to the knockouts.

Prognosis: Should win group, probably will get to Ro16 even if we don't, good shot at quarters, maybe semis with luck

Women's Basketball

The Lionesses are a pack of collegiate All-Stars, so we know they are individually talented, but learning to play together may present a challenge. Hopefully veteran head coach Carlena Mckee can shape them into a cohesive unit. The Lionesses were drawn into 5-team Group F, along with Cosumar, the Oaklands, Kriegiersien, and Nassau-Hessen. Cosumar and Kriegiersien are considered the best teams in the group, but are still "average" Olympic teams. Nassau-Hessen is the weakest team in the group by far, and the Oaklands are reported to be a good match for the Lionesses. With the winners and five best runners-up advancing to the knockout stages, the Lionesses will need some luck to make it through. Still, even if they can't advance, we will be satisfied if they give a good account of themselves.

Prognosis: Group very close together, will need luck to advance, won't get past Ro16 if we do advance

Men's Football

The Nova Anglican Olympic team is officially the U23 side, with three overage players, but is more or less the best of the U20 side, with a few national team players mixed in. Third-string senior team and Heartwood keeper Thomas Barnett will attempt to keep a clean sheet, while forwards Jimmy Kelly and Chris Hodges, as well as attacking midfielder Emmanuel Moga audition for NT starting roles, beginning in the upcoming Campionato Esportiva. The Lions are an above-average Olympic team, but their medal hopes are not bright. The Lions will avoid the preliminary rounds that are played first, and will instead contest the four-team Group D along with Swibia, Costa Luna, and Isula ĝe Ru. Costa Luna is expected to pose the biggest threat, despite not being ranked by the WCC, while Swibia and IGR are clearly below the Lions' level. There's no reason for the Lions not to win their group and make it to the Round of 32, but advancement past the Round of 16 (if they get there) is unlikely.

Prognosis: Group looks weak, will advance, could get to Ro16 depending on draw

Women's Football

This is their first major international competition, so they hope they will be able to gain valuable experience and learn how to better play as a team. Not much is expected of them, as women's football is not nearly as followed as men's in Nova Anglicana, but they need to give a good account of themselves or parents may start sending their daughters to figure skating camp instead of football camp. The Lions were placed into 4-team Group H, along with Quakmybush, the unpronounceable nation of Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland (whose whole nation appears to be a parody of complex German words), and Berk Island, former home of the exiled Costa Lunian government. Quakmybush stands head and shoulders ahead of the rest of the group, but Berk Island and SWR are definitely teams the Lionesses can handle. All runners-up are assured advancement to the knockout stages, so if the Lionesses can take care of business against the bottom two teams, they should be fine. Of course, once they get to the Ro32, they probably will be going home, but that will probably be enough for their debut.

Prognosis: Hopefully runners-up, probably not past Ro32

Men's Handball

Another collegiate All-Star team, the Nova Anglican men's handball team is considered "slightly below average" by Olympic observers, and this doesn't bode well for their chances. The Lions drew Felix, Gloriax, and Electrum in their Group H pool, and they are all well-regarded sporting nations. Felix is by far the best team in the group, and a true medal hopeful, while Gloriax is a solidly above-average team. Electrum is supposedly weaker than our boys, but not by much. It would be awful, but not out of the realm of possibility for the Lions to finish 0-3. If they can beat Electrum, than that's about all we could have hoped for, given the group. Tough draw.

Prognosis: 3rd most likely, will be flattened by Felix, no knockouts

Women's Handball

The women's handball team is also collegiate All-Stars, and they're considered slightly better than the men, but what are their chances? Sorry to say, but not much better. They've been drawn with Cosumar and those Germans SWR again, and rounding out the group is Renzynistan. The unpronounceable Germans are pros at women's handball, and they'll likely whip our girls soundly. Cosumar will play the role of Gloriax in this production, and should come out victorious as well. Thankfully, Renzynistan is, quite frankly, not very good. The ladies probably won't finish 0-3, but they won't advance either. More tough sledding.

Prognosis: S & WR will win group, probably 3rd

Men's Field Hockey

Here's a bit of embarrassing news: when the Olympic Committee looked at the application forms and saw the word "Hockey", they initially notified the men's and women's ice hockey teams that they would be playing. Never mind the fact that these are the Summer Olympics. Anyway, when they finally realized their gaffe, spirits sunk a lot lower for medal hopes. Ice hockey's our game; field hockey, not so much. The men's field hockey team is mostly lesser-known college players, with the exception of naturalized Indian Raju Gadhiraju. He alone makes us a "below-average" rather than "poor" Olympic team. The rest of the group is Sanctaria, Berk Island, and the United Kingdoms of Zackalantis. Berk Island is just bad, and should be beaten by everyone. Analysts think the Lions have a good shot at beating Sanctaria, but will need the game of their lives to beat the United Kingdoms. Zackalantis is squarely average at field hockey, but they are the best team in the group. Second place would be a good showing for us.

Prognosis: Could advance with some luck, unlikely to advance past first knockout stage

Women's Field Hockey

The good news about the NAOC's gaffe is that our women's field hockey league gets a chance to show its quality on the world stage. It's only semi-professional, but these ladies mean business. Don't let the skirts fool you, as they say. They even have some of the best university players waiting in the wings. Unfortunately, the organizers of the field hockey competition are only sending the group winners through. Why is this unfortunate? Although Antoletia and 95X should be easy pickings, Barunia is a true top-class field hockey team and will be heavily favored to win the group. If they can spring the upset, our girls could have a shot at the quarters, but that's even unlikelier than beating Barunia in the first place. Ironic, isn't it, that our poorer men's team might have a better shot at the knockouts than our women, who are considered much better.

Prognosis: Probably 2nd, could be 1st with luck, unlikely to advance past first knockout stage

Men's Volleyball

Men's indoor volleyball has never really taken off in Nova Anglicana, but there are many who play at an amateur level. As such, our men's team isn't considered very good, but let me let you in on a little secret: the Lions' group is pretty terrible. Their group includes Sargossa ("piss-poor" from one analyst), Electrum ("weak"), Kelssek ("just plain bad") and Isula ĝe Ru ("hardly better"). So as weak as some European countries or the United States might consider us, we're actually the best of the bad bunch in our group. Knockouts ahoy, but be prepared to be knocked out quickly.

Prognosis: Top team in group despite poor ranking, unlikely to advance past first knockout stage

Women's Volleyball

The women's volleyball team is actually solidly average to above-average, and could maybe even hold their own with our Canadian neighbours, but will probably fall prey to a deep Olympic pool. Their groupmates include Isula ĝe Ru, the Avissian Union, Chiata, The Sarian, and Renzynistan. None of them are considered worse than "slightly below average", most are average, and The Sarian and Renzynistan are on the Lionesses' level or slightly above. As such, it's going to be a really tight race. Two out of six nations advance, and the Lionesses have a good shot at it, but they'll need to fight their way out.

Prognosis: Close group, could finish second or fifth, unlikely to advance past first knockout stage

Overall: The one true medal hope from the team sports is the men's basketball team, but most of the teams have at least a shot of making it to the knockout stages. If 5 teams can make it out of the group stages, that will be a pretty good performance, though it could be as high as seven. Good luck to all team sports participants. Represent us well!

Staff writers Ilene Cruse, Eddy Barry, and Damion Herbert contributed to this report.

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:11 pm

Credit to The Greater Vakolicci Haven for the idea of covering this topic.

Security guide
The Kytler Peninsulae is a curious mix of the panicky and libertarian in many respects. The country's history of internal strife - which continues even to this day as pro-independence campaigners in the conservative southern state of Varn grow increasingly agitated at the delay to their referendum on the issue - means that law and order is a significant government priority. Conversely, Kytlerian society as a whole is broadly libertarian-leaning, and there is a broad public consensus that police aggression can be counterproductive and problematic. As such, although police officers are more numerous than in most countries, only specialist units are armed - and then often with stun guns.

Most of the armed security you are likely to see at the Games will in fact be from army troops. The Kytlerian military is inherently defensive in posture, and most of its work is done on the home front - notably in response to flooding and other natural disasters, but also for security at major events. In addition, there will be increased naval patrols of Kytler Bay, and temporary anti-aircraft missile defence systems set up in Ranford (to the north-west of Zube) and Zeiven (to the south of Bay City). In total, over 9,000 military personnel will be involved in the security effort, along with an estimated 30,000 police officers from across the country.

Amongst their tasks will be ensuring that illegal items are not bought into Olympic venues. These items include weapons of all kinds, lasers, and flares. Additionally, there will be tight restrictions on bringing food and drink into venues; although this is mostly to maximise the sales at these venues (the profit from which helps to reduce the cost of the Games to the Kytlerian taxpayer), there is also a security aspect in that drinks will all be served in plastic containers.

There are relatively few other restrictions on what can be bought into Olympic venues, and spectators are indeed actively encouraged to bring banners, flags, and "other visual props to demonstrate support for the athletes."

Games of the IX Olympiad: RP/IC

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