The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation

[Spartan Philidelphia]

Welcome to the SPAAC Storefront.

We here at the Spartan Philidelphian Almost Anything Corporation(SPAAC). are commited to selling you almost everything and anything. S.P.A.A.C. is proud to be a leading manufacturer in almost everything. Founded in 1984 by Luigi Mario, it started only prouducing things that ryhme with hypochondria, but he found that it was not a profitable trade. He decided to make other things. Soon it came to what it is today. There are only a couple things we refuse to sell to you.

Things with the letter W in them. [except Cheese Cows]
Examples include, the world, the World Assembly, Water, Wigs, Snow...

Everytime the letter W was created, it got lost. Soon people were asking, "Where's [insert W word here]. So that is why we perfer not to make those things.

But you could always buy... The planet Earth. The Assembly that assembled after the UN exploded into a massive inter-dimensional fireball, Dihydrogen Monoxide, Fake Hair, Ice Crystals...

One of our original products is now frolicing freely within Spartan Philidelphia's borders, the Cheese Cow. It is a cow that tastes like cheese and beef.Too bad we realized we couldn't sell it. We let it loose into the Spartan Philidelphian wilds. It quickly adapted to the enviorment and vice versa. Now you wouldn't be able to tell that Cheese Cows were artifical or not. We have also been able to generate the Cheese Pig, a pig that tastes like ham and cheese at the same time. Thankfully, we are able to sell Cheese Pigs.

Scientific research has provided answers as to why items with a name with the letter W in them get lost. We do not know the exact reason, but it has something to do with the evil SPMCSIG, or the Spartan Philidelphia Media Censoring Special Interests Group. The Spartan Philidelphian government has redirected small amounts of money from them to slightly more important things like education and healthcare. With the budget of the SPMCSIG cut, their powers of censoring dropped dramatically and our Cheese Cows were able to fly again into the stomachs of foreign lands.

If the item which you need to buy does not exist, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! we will invent it for you! We promise.

We only supply images of the item when we feel like it.

Signed,

Luigi Mario, Founder of S.P.A.A.C. and Leader of
Spartan Philidelphia

[Nuerek]

I would like you to make me
50 machine gunners
20 bunkers
and
30 tanks

[Cheztope]

Can you make a Cheztopian style Imperial-class Aircraft carrier?

I would be willing to pay $2,000,000,000.

[Tobelade]

We want a Brain Harvesting machine...

[Spartan Philidelphia]

I would like you to make me
50 machine gunners
20 bunkers
and
30 tanks

SOLD 50 MACHINE GUNNERS! for 599 Gold Stuffs. [Hand not included]
The pocket sized SPMG-83 Mini Machine Gun is powerful enough to break seemingly bullet-proof glass and yet small enough to only use one hand!



20 Bunkers SOLD!

These bunkesr are camouflaged. Just look at how invisible they are.


I'm get the rest of the orders later.

[Fatatatutti]

We have also been able to generate the Cheese Pig, a pig that tastes like ham and cheese at the same time.

I can see a huge market for Cheese Pigs in Fatatatutti. Our national animal is the wild boar and our national dish is the luau.

Would it be possible to develop a pineapple upside-down cake coconut? Our armed forces are financed entirely by bake sales and the perennial favourite is pineapple upside-down cake. If you could develop one with a built-in (coconut-shell) shipping container, it would greatly enhance our international marketing capabilities.

[Eleben]

Would it be possible for the empire of eleben to buy Russia?

[Spartan Philidelphia]

I would like you to make me

30 tanks

SOLD 30 TANKS

The SPT-9001 using helium balloons can fly through the air!

Can you make a Cheztopian style Imperial-class Aircraft carrier?

I would be willing to pay $2,000,000,000.

Anything for my good friend, Klaus.

SOLD ONE Cheztopian style Imperial-class Aircraft carrier!

This aircraft carrier is being viewed from a terribly high altitude. Please note that the person is a giant human from the depths of the one of the deepest trenches in the ocean.

We want a Brain Harvesting machine...

SOLD ONE Brain Harvesting Machine

This may look like an ordinary plunger, but it has a knife that automatically cuts out the top of the skull. It then uses suction power to pull out the brain. This process will normally take 3-5 minutes.

[No Image Should be Required]

I will have to do more in the next post.

[Klaus Devestatorie]

*Uses aircraft carrier for target practise*

[Spartan Philidelphia]

I can see a huge market for Cheese Pigs in Fatatatutti. Our national animal is the wild boar and our national dish is the luau.

Would it be possible to develop a pineapple upside-down cake coconut? Our armed forces are financed entirely by bake sales and the perennial favourite is pineapple upside-down cake. If you could develop one with a built-in (coconut-shell) shipping container, it would greatly enhance our international marketing capabilities.

I'll take that first statement as an order for 3500 Cheese Pigs for 192,500 Gold Stuffs.

SOLD 3500 Cheese Pigs

NO, WE CANNOT MAKE A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE COCONUT!
We refuse to make this upside-down cake.

Would it be possible for the empire of eleben to buy Russia?

Yes it is possible for you to buy Russia. Why don't you go and buy Russia now?

[Fatatatutti]

NO, WE CANNOT MAKE A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE COCONUT!
We refuse to make this upside-down cake.

We suggest that you change your name to the 'Spartan Philadelphian Everything Except Pineapple Upside-down Cake Coconuts Corporation' (SPEEPUCCC). It has a nicer ring to it.

And we'll be breeding our own Cheese Pigs from now on.

[Reagan States]

1 Animal Reanimation Machine

please
We are willing to go from "Thriving" to "Very Strong" for such a product so create it... quickly... and it better be powerful!

[Spartan Philidelphia]

NO, WE CANNOT MAKE A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE COCONUT!
We refuse to make this upside-down cake.

We suggest that you change your name to the 'Spartan Philadelphian Everything Except Pineapple Upside-down Cake Coconuts Corporation' (SPEEPUCCC). It has a nicer ring to it.

And we'll be breeding our own Cheese Pigs from now on.

Please consult with the phrase. "We refuse to sell to you things with the letter W in them."
See the first post for details

Why do you think we sold you neutered Cheese Pigs? Have a nice day

1 Animal Reanimation Machine

please
We are willing to go from "Thriving" to "Very Strong" for such a product so create it... quickly... and it better be powerful!

SOLD 1 Animal Reanimation Machine

As humans are animals, you can use it to resurect them also, as demonstrated in the picture. It requires 6 watts per hour you want the animal to live. Doesn't matter the size of the animal. Just 6 watts/hour.

[Fatatatutti]

Please consult with the phrase. "We refuse to sell to you things with the letter W in them."
See the first post for details

We assumed it was a typo. Would you be able to produce a pineapple rightside-up cake coconut, which we could then turn upside-down ourselves?

Why do you think we sold you neutered Cheese Pigs?

We don't rely on old-fashioned reproduction methods - not when it comes to pigs.

Have a nice day

We always do.

[Ninja and Spartans]

how can you create a cheese coW it has the letter w!

[Spartan Philidelphia]

Please consult with the phrase. "We refuse to sell to you things with the letter W in them."
See the first post for details

We assumed it was a typo. Would you be able to produce a pineapple rightside-up cake coconut, which we could then turn upside-down ourselves?

Why do you think we sold you neutered Cheese Pigs?

We don't rely on old-fashioned reproduction methods - not when it comes to pigs.

Have a nice day

We always do.

Yes! We can make a pineapple rightside-up cake coconut!

1,000,000 pineapple rightside-up cake coconuts!

I assume the new way is cloning? We actually tried that. The cheese pigs are quite genetically unstable. They would become regular pigs for some reason unknown to us. So the only way to make cheese pigs is by getting a father cheese pig and a mother cheese pig who love each other very much...... We would be happy to sell some to you!

SOLD 100 Male Cheese Pigs
SOLD 100 Female Cheese Pigs
SOLD 599 Crates of Cheese Pig Meat.

Yay for compromise. Now you just owe me about 42,000,000 USD. Everybody wins!

how can you create a cheese coW it has the letter w!

Good Question! We don't sell Cheese Cows. We can make things with the letter W in it but if we sell it, the Cheese Cow would always wander off and get lost. Just like all the Waldoes we made, or maybe the snow a couple winters ago. Everyone kept asking:

Where's Waldo? What happened to the snow? Why isn't there any water falling from the sky? How come I never seen a Cheese Cow?

[Ninja and Spartans]

see if you can create a chocolate camel, if you can create one, i would like one male and one female.

[Nuerek]

I would like you to make me
50 strategic bombers
30,000 fighters
and 400,000 spartans with rifles

your my favorite shop

[Fatatatutti]

So the only way to make cheese pigs is by getting a father cheese pig and a mother cheese pig who love each other very much...... We would be happy to sell some to you!

No, thanks. We learned our lesson with the first batch of defective pigs. Our scientists are working on a synthetic Cheese Pig, made from alternating slices of ham and cheese.

[Spartan Philidelphia]

Sorry about the delays. Luigi Mario had other things to do.

see if you can create a chocolate camel, if you can create one, i would like one male and one female.

SOLD 1 Male Chocolate Camel
SOLD 1 Female Chocolate Camel

These camels are the color of dark chocolate. They obviously make chocolate milk. Yay chocolate.

I would like you to make me
50 strategic bombers
30,000 fighters
and 400,000 spartans with rifles

your my favorite shop

You are my favorite buyer because you don't just buy one of everything.

SOLD 50 Strategic Bombers

These bombers are strategic. They are strategically hiding inside that cloud of smoke.



I'll have to do more later.

[Nuerek]

Awesome now I can blow up those stupid smelly peasants

[Spartan Philidelphia]

I would like you to make me
30,000 fighters
and 400,000 spartans with rifles

your my favorite shop

SOLD 30,000 FIGHTERS!

I was not sure if you wanted street fighters or fighter jets or some other fighter, so I just gave you fighter airplanes made of extremely light materials. They can be fitted with up to 27 tons of add-ons.



We can NOT sell you Spartans With rifles. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Perhaps you would like to purchase Spartans holding rifles at 1/2 price?

No, thanks. We learned our lesson with the first batch of defective pigs. Our scientists are working on a synthetic Cheese Pig, made from alternating slices of ham and cheese.

We are sorry but the Cheese Pig© is a copyright of Spartan Philidelphia. Because of your arrogant behavior, we are sorry to announce that you will not be given permission to make Cheese Pigs©. We are sorry for this inconvenience, but remember that you were the one who brought this unto yourselves.

Spartan Philidelphia has decided to buy 4999 tons of generic weapons and war ammunitions through S.P.A.A.C. . We are going to invade a certain country once we obtain this amount.

[Fatatatutti]

We are sorry but the Cheese Pig© is a copyright of Spartan Philidelphia. Because of your arrogant behavior, we are sorry to announce that you will not be given permission to make Cheese Pigs©. We are sorry for this inconvenience, but remember that you were the one who brought this unto yourselves.

We are sorry but Spartan Philadephian copyright laws have no jurisdiction in Fatatatutti. Our Cheese-pig Advanced Research Program (CARP) continues unabated.

[The Vendarian Islands]

Can you give me a nice yacht and three tons of pina colada and milkshake mix? I'd also like some seaplanes and a few cargo ships.
We will offer you resort tickets to the island of your choice.

[Spartan Philidelphia]

I have secrets to tell you about Cheese Pigs.
The yellow parts are actually a deadly strain of genetically unstable swine flu that spreads through food. The entire pig is yellow. Do not say we tried to stop you. We never sent you any Cheese Pigs. Once again, have a nice day.

Can you give me a nice yacht and three tons of pina colada and milkshake mix? I'd also like some seaplanes and a few cargo ships.
We will offer you resort tickets to the island of your choice.

SOLD 3 Tons of Pina Colada and Milkshake Mix

A sample of your drink is in the middle of the image. We hope you enjoy it.



SOLD A NICE YACHT!

Yes it is a Yacht. I always thought it was spelled yatch, but I guess I was wrong. Have a nice time.


I'll have to do more in the next post