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Happy Christmas! (FT, Open)

A staging-point for declarations of war and other major diplomatic events. [In-character]
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The Toy Theocracy
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Happy Christmas! (FT, Open)

Postby The Toy Theocracy » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:39 pm

Mature.


Image


Everybody loves Christmas.

The sound of bells jingling with the laughter of children. The noise of slushing snow on the tracks. The smell of pies and cakes from every single stall. The warm company of people. The laughter of children. The talk and gossip of adults as they stand under the white canopy of snow. Everybody loves Christmas.

But sometimes in the world, on some places, Christmas doesn't come to people. Some people don't even know Christmas exists. So they grow up and never - ever - see a single Christmas in their life. How sad!

Christmas is a time for joy and reunion and fun and excitement! It's a time for joyous celebration and fantastic gifts and streamers and balloons and cakes and Santa Claus! It's a time for Santa Claus!

And the toys - oh, the toys, aren't they beautiful! Tiny little things that every child wants as they walk past the windows, eying the latest little gadget or noisemaker with their hungry eyes. Oh, those little hungry eyes - how do they ever need their toys! But sometimes, on these little planets, Christmas never comes at all.

So children never see it. They never experience the joy of opening toys and fun and all that! Isn't that cruel? So one day, a little toy - how smart he was! - said 'maybe I'll bring joy and Christmas spirit to all the little boys and girls in the world!'

And he did! He did, and everyone was happy! Everyone! Eventually, he and his brothers made more toys and more toys, and together they brought more and more joy to the world! And when that world was happy, he said 'we should make the entire system happy!'

And they did! And every little boy and girl at the end every Christmas had a smile on their face, and soon the whole system was smiling! It was amazing! It was a Christmas miracle!

And here, this little planet had nothing. They had nothing of the sort: no Christmas, no happy little boys and girls, no little white snow. So the smart little toy said 'we will make a Christmas miracle like never before!' And the other toys rejoiced - Christmas was coming again!

And this little planet one day, on the eve before Christmas, looked out their windows to see the white fluffy snow touch their grass. And they went outside and touched it. And they raised their arms up, wildly anticipating Christmas! They said 'Ashes, Ashes!' in their un-Christmas-like and unhappy tongue. 'It's raining ashes!' they said, and the toys continue to make it snow! And it kept snowing, and snowing, and snowing! What a wonderful day!

And then, just before midnight, only a few minutes before Santa Claus, the toys dressed up as Santa Claus! But they didn't have any red paint, so they took little boys and girls and opened them up! And there it was - red paint! And the smart little toys took the red paint and smeared it on themselves and plucked the hairs from the little boys and girls and made little white beards on them and they borrowed the fur from the little boys and girls and made long blankets out of them! What smart toys!

And then, on Christmas morning, the toys came to that un-Christmasy planet - each of them was dressed like a little Santa Claus! And they cheered the Christmas cheer, and the adults - oh, those evil adults - they didn't like the toys, no siree. They took their own toys and said 'this is what happens to aliens!' they said, but in the end, even the adults loved Christmas! Everybody loves it.

And at the end of the Christmas joy the smart little toys took the little boys and girls (and even the mean adults) and said 'It's Christmas!' and their mouths opened wide, and the toys stretched the mouths open and said 'smile, it's Christmas!'

And guess what? They smiled. Everybody loves Christmas. Forever!
Last edited by Jenrak on Mon Sep 06, 2010 4:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Jenrak Edit: Jeeeeez, put a mature tag on.

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The Steppe Empire
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Postby The Steppe Empire » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:46 pm

OOC: WTF??? :shock: :shock: :shock: :? :? :?

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Hahklallah
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Hahklallah » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:52 pm

-ooc- How High are you?

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Saurisia
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Postby Saurisia » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:53 pm

OOC: Ok-aayyyy.... >.>
Israslovakahzerbajan wrote:Stealing a copy of The Land Before Time.
Coccygia wrote:The only good mammal is a dead mammal.
Pythria wrote:Fascist dictatorship run by dinosaurs. I like it
Tartonica wrote:2/10 because dinosaurs do NOT rule nations (Except for Saurisia)
The Tavan Race wrote:Yeah, your nation scares me
Wolohanistan wrote:Saurisia - Dinosaur Dictatorship is the best dictatorship, not that we support that sort of thing.
Conoga wrote:Dinosaurs-in-Bikinis-Boy
Lancov wrote:Condemn, because we now have to go soak our brains in bleach.
The Floor Kippers wrote:We Have Dinosaurs.....Argument Rendered Invalid
Grossrheinland Reich wrote:DINOSAUR FETISHIST
Tetraca wrote:Also: yay, Saurisia's here! This thread just became more awesome :D
FT Population: 1,000,000,000,000
DINOSAURS RULE!

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The Ottish Empire
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Postby The Ottish Empire » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:55 pm

ooc: Sooooooo, what?
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The Toy Theocracy
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Postby The Toy Theocracy » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:03 pm

So, so, there's a biiiig toy. He calls himself Ray Box. Ray Box is a big toy that can walk. He said he was the smartest toy of all and that he can run on batteries for hours and hours and hours without needing to charge! Sometimes I feel sad for Ray Box though. Sometimes he feels like he doesn't want to be a toy, so sometimes he tries to be different.

All toys love to help children, but Ray Box is different. Ray Box is a curious toy! Sometimes, you know, he takes a little boy or girl and then he jumps into them to see what it feels like.

But naughty Ray Box is also really goofy! He forgets that he's too big, so he doesn't fit! So sometimes he has to take an ice cream scooper and dig into a little boy and girl and dig out the bits and pieces, then he can fit! Sometimes they cry, but other times Ray Box gives them a special medicine by putting a little poker into their back, and then woosh!

They're all better! They don't move or scream or jerk or cry anymore! And then-and then Ray Box can fit in snugly into them, but he can't see, so he has to poke out the eyes (but only for a little bit!)

One time, Ray Box jumped into a young adult, and then another young adult jumped on top of Ray Box, so it scared it! And that young adult tried to get into the young adult like Ray Box did, but he didn't have a scooper (silly adults!), and he was trying to get into the wrong way! Ray Box always jumps in through the mouth, so it always work, but this time this young adult tried to get in through the bottom!

So they Ray Box felt bad, so he jumped out of the young adult and jumped into the other one! But he didn't have a scooper that time, so he had to take it out himself for room. Like always, he remembered to pluck out the eyes (only for a little while!) so he could see. Ray Box is a silly toy indeed!

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The Steppe Empire
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Postby The Steppe Empire » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:04 pm

Hahklallah wrote:-ooc- How High are you?


OOC: I would agree with you

Also this is September 5th, NOT December 25th

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The Steppe Empire
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Postby The Steppe Empire » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:12 pm

OOC: My Review of this Thread....

The most scary thread ever....


The end.... :blink:

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Techno-Kat
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Postby Techno-Kat » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:13 pm

tag for future post of frigate showing up and screaming bloody murder
Economic Tyranny/Libertarian: 7.62
Social Libertarian/Tyranny: -6.31

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Dino-Lover Nation
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Postby Dino-Lover Nation » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:15 pm

OOC: I'm guessing you saw Toy Story a TON of times as a kid (I know I did).
If you're wondering, yes, this is a puppet of Saurisia

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New Garzah
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Postby New Garzah » Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:16 pm

OOC: This story now marked by the FDA as a controlled substance. Anyone still on this thread is under arrest. Your rights are: shut the hell up.
Arda Tuluva: I wonder how my society survives sometimes. Then I think, it survives becasue it must, because of tradition.


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Sentient basketballs are the shit, yo.

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Sapiency
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Postby Sapiency » Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:30 pm

ISF Supremacy
Lagrange Point 5


The exploration battleship Supremacy surged through space, towards the planet where the probes had detected something... unusual. It stopped, it's retro thrusters pushing it back, as it settled into a stable orbit to scan the planet in detail. It's glistening antennae extended from the main body and started to work, going up to their full length of twenty meters as it recieved information from the planet.

Readings indicating massive loss of organic life. the display read, as the man in front of it rubbed his head. "Zoom. Check."

We are on the light side of this world. it said, as horrific images filled the screen. Mutilation. Horror. Monstrosities digging into faces and poking their eyes out from the inside. "We have to stop this. How many men do we have on board?"

Twenty.

"Enough to establish a base. Go back and call for reinforcements. We're going in." he said, looking at the man behind him- another member of the crew. "Tell everyone to go. And bring construction materials." he finished, walking into the pod, waiting for the others. When the men and women settled in- some taking cannisters of nanobots, all of them heavily armed and armored- he himself put on his suit, stripping down and then up.

The shuttle doors closed and it flew towards the planet.

Surface

They reached without incident; the people inside got out. Some of them were Janakan, some of them human, and one of them were Chuankaian. The leader of the team, the captain, was named Esuri Tefiri, and he was the first to get out and behold the sight that laid before them.
Last edited by Sapiency on Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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The Toy Theocracy
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Postby The Toy Theocracy » Mon Sep 06, 2010 12:03 pm

OOC: What is this I dont even

IC:

There's this toy named Yuppie who really likes to play with young adults and girls. Yuppie is a long toy skipping rope and all the time he would say 'thirty-four revolutions' and 'thirty six-revolutions' and he would keep going. Sometimes I don't remember why he says it, and sometimes even Yuppie forgets (silly Yuppie!). But one day I remember that Yuppie had to go get changed from the inside because he needed a new battery

D:

So, one day, a young adult had to change Yuppie's battery! And so the young adult poked him out and took out the battery and then put in a new one, and voila! Yuppie was fixed! In fact, Yuppie was so happy that he decided that one day Yuppie would change that young adult's battery too, to help him when he felt like he needed to change! And so-so one day yuppie saw the young adult veeeery tired, and she was on the couch and she couldn't play with Yuppie.

And Yuppie really wanted to play, so he went to the young adult and jumped onto her, and she was so shocked and that she jumped up -that meant she wanted to play! She grabbed Yuppie, and Yuppie had never done this before, so it was new game! So Yuppie grabbed the young adult back, and she gripped harder, so Yuppie gripped harder! And together they gripped harder and harder until her eyes jumped out of her head and hit the wall, and then her sockets sprayed out red paint and made a biiiiiig mess (silly adults ^-^) before she fell down and let go.

Yuppie won! So Yuppie jumped up and down because Yuppie won, but she kept yelling and crying and yelling and crying and yelling and crying. So she must have been really sad that Yuppie beat her (because adults don't like to lose) so Yuppie wanted to make her feel better. So he decided to make her feel better by changing her batteries! So Yuppie dug into the two big batteries on chest and grabbed them reaaaally hard and then Yuppie pulled them out! And then she yelled even more! So Yuppie took the other one out and a big bunch of white stuff came out of the batteries. It must have been human battery acid.

And then Yuppie said 'I'll change it with new batteries!' But Yuppie didn't know where to find anymore, so Yuppie had to screw them back on, but there was big problem! Yuppie couldn't! There wa two much acid, so Yuppie took alot of duct tape and taped it back on, but Yuppie didn't do it right, so the young adult was really tired and ran out of battery juice. That young adult made a very big mess (some adults are like that).

So Yuppie said 'I'll just wait until someone with batteries come in and then I'll replace that with hers!'

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The Toy Theocracy
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Postby The Toy Theocracy » Mon Sep 06, 2010 4:36 pm

I was a toy that was from a line of alot of bears! There were big bears and small bears and pink bears and blue bears and all of them were having the same expression - it was fun because we would all stand together and smile and dance and everyone would love us! And I remember that one day when I was picked up by a small girl and she had big pigtails and a big smile and she had alot of teeth on her smile! She was so pretty! I loved her so much!

I remembered that I was being carried and raised and up and down and up and down and up and down and we'd play airplane and her mummy would go 'oh no don't get the toy expensive' and she would say 'yes' in the cutest little voice! She was so adorable! And I remember that one time when we went down the slide and then it bumped the back of my head and then I bent down a bit and she put me back up and hugged me! I love her!

And then I remember that one time when raised me up like her own little daughter and she said 'you're going to be my daughter', and then we played dress up and I was the daughter. I remember when she tuck me into bed and then she said 'good night' and then I said 'good night' and she squealed and smiled. I love her so much, when she smiled back at me I knew that I found the perfect owner.

I remember the next day when she went to her mummy and said 'look, Gerald talks' and then her mummy shook her head and said 'no he doesn't', and then she went back to drinking her coffee, and she was so sad! My owner was so sad that her mummy didn't believe her, so I said 'but I do talk mummy!' And the mummy looked at me and said, with big eyes some weird words. I didn't know what words they were, but she was really, really loud, and then she ran and picked me up but my owner said 'no! no!' and she tried to help me.

But mummy didn't want that - she wanted me up and up and up and we kept playing airplane, but my owner didn't want to play airplane! So I said 'I don't want to play airplane too', but mummy wouldn't have it! She just kept shouting and shouting and shouting and shouting and then she finally put down on the kitchen board and my owner said 'no, no!' but mummy kept shouting angrily at me. She was veeeeery angry.

So I wanted to make mummy feel better! I took a biiiig knife from the drawer and stabbed into her face! And I stabbed and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed and jabbed and jabbed and stabbed and jabbed and stabbed and jabbed and then I sliced and sliced and sliced and on mummy's face she was smiling! It jabbed and slice a biiiiig smile into her face! And she was happy! But my owner yelled, so I wanted to make her happy too!

So I jumped at her and made her happy too!

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Izistan
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Postby Izistan » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:04 pm

jesus fuck what
306 all tha way yo, reppen fer mi home boyz thro it up

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Ozymos
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Postby Ozymos » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:07 pm

Izistan wrote:jesus fuck what


Couldn't have put it better myself :meh:
"Through adversity, to the stars!"
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Techno-Kat
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Postby Techno-Kat » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:09 pm

Ozymos wrote:
Izistan wrote:jesus fuck what


Couldn't have put it better myself :meh:


stfu i live for TT's posts
Economic Tyranny/Libertarian: 7.62
Social Libertarian/Tyranny: -6.31

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Wolffbaden
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Postby Wolffbaden » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:17 pm

I am so goddamn scared right now guys.

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Imperial Brits
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Postby Imperial Brits » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:32 pm

Merry Christmas to you!

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Abruzi
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Postby Abruzi » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:33 pm

OOC:This is the greatest FT thread ever. I <3 insane murder toys of doom.

IC:


Forged Steel Research Barge X-18


Forged Steel Research Barge X-18 slowly slipped out of the warp, the psychic scream second only to the wail of the warning klaxons as it materialized in real space on the edge of the desired system. Aboard one thousand Forged Steel contractors and two thousand support staff guarded an empty hulk. Vats and chemical analysis chambers bordered surgical theaters that bordered observation chambers that all sat empty. Guards stalked past empty cells that held only the ghosts of tortured subjects from prior missions.

Forged Steel had heard of the “Toys” of this Christmas world, and these Toys were of great interest to classified buyers. Naturally Forged Steel knew that the Toys would no doubt engage foreign entities that tried to capture them and so Pskyers were enlisted to make the “Retrieval Teams(RT)” look like children. Reports had suggested that Children on average were exempt from the mutilation the Toys inflicted upon adult aged humans.

The RT would be made up of ten seasoned veterans, combat tested soldiers who were all Old Hand level experience or more. They would go to the surface clad in SEVA armored suits and carrying standard “Cachatan” Pattern Lasguns they would hopefully be able to capture at least a hundred of these Toys. Still the entire operation gunned on the Toys having some Psychic capability and the Pskyer doing his job.

The only Pskyer that Forged Steel Private Military Contracting Company could recruit however was a child himself. Anthony was a tortured soul, a Pskyer who had been exiled from his home world which had long been forgotten he lived now as a petty mercenary. An untrained Pskyer of almost unique power his only “family” was his guardian Petrov who himself was a “mute” or a being who was immune to psychic manipulation.

Petrov himself was a physically ravaged being with a half burned body. Walking corpse was a more fitting term as he was unimaginably old. Genetic enhancements and cybernetic additions was all that kept Petrov walking…and killing. He himself was a seasoned killer who served as Anthony’s “Father” simply because he had nothing else going at the time.

They lived aboard the ship for now but already a plan had formulated in Anthony’s head and soon he would be the king and his “Employers” would feel his rage that they used.
Last edited by Abruzi on Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
02:01 RomanEmpire Because I dont know about you
02:01 RomanEmpire But I want to monger some fucking fish

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Hahklallah
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Hahklallah » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:46 pm

-ooc- What is it acid? Marijuana? Cocaine? Please tell me so I can get you some help.. please!

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Techno-Kat
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Founded: Aug 30, 2010
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Postby Techno-Kat » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:49 pm

A massive distortion, invisible to the naked eye save for the twisting and bending of the stars behind it, appeared in the middle of the system. Twisting and rending the fabric of spacetime, mere moments later a large, empty, black hole appeared. Within this hole, stars, ships, stations, all of which were hundreds of light-years away, had suddenly burst into view. The orbital cloud of the now bustling Erosian shipyards, was visible, but slowly being blocked out by a large, dark mass emerging from the wormhole.

The gravity sensors of any nearby ships and stations would be going off the scale, as this large warship slowly came into view. Lights in various places, marking restricted areas for docking pilots, adorned it's hull. The ship's name was plastered in large, white, military-style letters on the side and illuminated by massive lights, was readily visible. The white paint was chipped, scarred, apparently this vessel had seen it's fair share of battle. Probably against pirates or communists. Despite these years of abuse and neglect, the warship's name was still quite visible.

Ookami. Wolf.

As the last of the vessel began to escape the shrinking boundaries of the Morris-Thorne wormhole, the large anomaly finally collapsed in on itself and the portal was sealed.

Space was calm, once again, as the Hansel-class guided missile frigate started up it's massive D-T fusion drives and began to maneuver towards the nearest planet, one which was caked in an atmosphere of dust and ash. The crew of roughly eight hundred sailors, thirty officers and one-hundred twenty Star Soldiers had no idea what would be awaiting them on this planet, save that they were assigned to trail the vessel of the private security firm, Forged Steel Contracting. No one onboard had any idea what the mercs were up to, but they really didn't give a shit anyways, so no one had particularly asked and the crew had all felt that the contractors wouldn't be willing to disclose what they'd wanted with a barren rock like this.

Aside from this simple observation mission, they were also to act as a possible deterrent to any ridiculous, primitive foreign warships and pirates who would try to interrupt the operations of the contractor vessel, as well as provide fire support in the form of the ship's standard SI compliment.

For this mission, however, the Ookami had taken on an additional two hundred SI troopers, and their assorted equipment. A full infantry company, which was already operating at combat readiness. Despite this precaution, most of the men felt that it wasn't really needed. Tanks and IFVs tended to have their diesel engines get gummed up by ash without proper dust filters, which the company had lacked. This, combined with the seemingly dead and desolate nature of the planet, had resulted in the entire infantry company (save the headquarters platoon) lounging around and playing board games and pool instead of preparing for deployment.

While on a combat mission, this would be seen as insubordination, the captain of the Ookami had allowed certain freedoms due to the nature of the mission (and the nature of frigates themselves, since crew morale was seen as more important than crew readiness, after all frigates are rarely see ships-of-the-line). It was felt amongst the officer corps of the vessel, that the infantry company was unneeded and that their presence was merely a precaution. However, the entire company was still kept on 'readiness alert' as the Ookami skirted towards the dead world, and was able to be deployed in full force on the planet's surface with fifteen minutes notice thanks to the large amount of drop craft carried by the Hansel-class.
Economic Tyranny/Libertarian: 7.62
Social Libertarian/Tyranny: -6.31

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The Ben Boys
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Founded: Apr 16, 2009
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Ben Boys » Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:02 pm

Don't even need to OOC this message, your all out of character, out of your damn minds!
Stay calm stay calm stay calm, think happy thoughts.
Snnnnffff
Okay now that I'm high I think we should just break out the woodchippers, you grab, er, get me?






This should by in the WTF forum, or even F7


Egotistical enough to name a nation after himself but enjoys self-deprecating humor. So yeah.

Packers Nation

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Techno-Kat
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Postby Techno-Kat » Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:05 pm

Abruzi wrote:OOC:This is the greatest FT thread ever. I <3 insane murder toys of doom.


yeh son

*high five*
Economic Tyranny/Libertarian: 7.62
Social Libertarian/Tyranny: -6.31

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Hahklallah
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Founded: Jul 02, 2009
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Hahklallah » Tue Sep 07, 2010 8:08 pm

-ooc- I'm so shit scared military response is in order, short short short post

Fourth Naval Recon Fleet
21st Julia, 2340 (Hahklallian Calendar)
Admiral Haas Balking under Command


A literal rip in the black of space appeared as the Fourth Naval Recon Fleet punched it's way through the fragile fabrics of space. The overall small boxy frigates, dwarfed by the looming irregularly shaped battle cruisers and destroyers, navigated their way into a tightly formed phalanx wall. These trained navy men, sent out to investigate a distant threat on a small planet. A government official had heard of a race of murderous toys on rampage killing thousands of adults, yet seemingly not harming children. The fleets only clearance was to investigate the planet, not to engage anything, unless engaged first.

A hundred or so of the 135m long Frigates and three of the 450m long battle ships were sent ahead of the rest of the fleet and towards the planet, all ejecting SOAIDP onto the planet, each of the drop pods contained 1 soldier, and hundreds were launched.

It was the simple beginning of hell.
Last edited by Hahklallah on Tue Sep 07, 2010 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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